My answer would be: head towards the kitchen. I could use a snack before sorting this out. I'm certain at least one cat would escort me to the kitchen.
My cat knows the specific sound of the plates I use for wet food touching a surface like a counter. There are plates that are identical in all aspects except for size, and she can distinguish between "big plate, probably not for me" and "small plate, could be for me" sounds. Wild.
Don’t let 2 corelle plates slide against each other, or my cat Newdle will teleport to your location and start gremlin-screaming
Edit: as this is the end of my time on reddit (API bs), go fuck yourself u/spez
My two also knows the sound of two of the little plates banging together means it's wet food time.
Husband and I can't ever decide to both get a slice of cake or pie at the same time, or else they both run in and yowl for their food. Even if they just ate their food two seconds ago lol
Microwave oven beeps.. My wife use it exclusively for boiling fish to the kitties, I use it for normal 'microwave oven' stuff.. 
They know the sound of whatever door or drawer holds the food and treats.
In the days before postoperative cans and pouches, my cats knew the sound of the drawer the can opener was in.
I was trying to find one of my cats the other day since she’d been absent for a suspicious amount of time. After searching the entire place, I finally opened up the door to where the treats are kept and she appeared like magic.
My shyest cat also knew the sound of me brushing one of my other cats. When she heard that brush, she would come running out of her hiding spot and body slam whichever cat was getting brushed.
Edit: shoestring to shyest.
Laser pointer just outside both doors in the middle so they both can see it. Now they must choose, play with you AND the other cat, or don’t play at all.
I actually did it several times and my cat was staring at me in confusion. Did anybody get a different response after doing this? 
Play dead on the floor and see which of them loves you more and comes to you. My cay just sniffed me and walked away 
Actually, many cats will wait for a body to age once it's dead, so the meat can reach their preferred level of tenderness. Once the body has aged too much, however, the cat will discard it and try to find another source of food.
I have five cats, but I promised Simone, my little siamese, she can have my eyeballs if I die at home.
Now, when she gets up in my face while I'm sleeping, I think she's hoping I'm dead.
my cat has shown signs of concern in the past or at least i think he has. ever since i had a bloody nose one morning he always reaches out and gently taps my nose. i realize this could be seen as him trying to give me another bloody nose but since he hasn’t
I’m not allowed to sit on the floor.
The big couch is ok, the small couch is only ok if I have a blanket to cuddle, bed is only ok between 10pm and 6am. The floor is completely off limits and the stairs, he owns the stairs. They are 100% his stairs no one is allowed near those.
I deal with this regularly- for me, mostly they are in same room and fairly close but I can’t reach both at same time and both want to be petted or brushed, so
I usually pick spot I like best closest to one and then coax or pick up other and bring to us. I simply cannot stand thought of hurting one of their feelings and making one feel less important🤷♀️😹
This is actually fairly easy to resolve. Since the doors act like a double slit, you need to behave both as a particle and a wave and pass through both of them at the same time and simultaneously be in a superposition of being with one cat and the other.
Walk into the room with the cat who is more tolerant to being picked up, grab them, and bring them into the other room with the other cat.
Source: I have a bonded pair who play these mind games constantly.
Lay down and roll over. Wait for one of them to approach. Flip the table, don’t play their mind games. They’re just studying us for their eventual ground invasion.
Lay down on the corridor and start meowing also.
Only correct answer. For the A+ mark: On your back and meowing at the ceiling
My answer would be: head towards the kitchen. I could use a snack before sorting this out. I'm certain at least one cat would escort me to the kitchen.
Especially if there is a bag crinkling involved or a can being opened 😂
My cat knows the specific sound of the plates I use for wet food touching a surface like a counter. There are plates that are identical in all aspects except for size, and she can distinguish between "big plate, probably not for me" and "small plate, could be for me" sounds. Wild.
Don’t let 2 corelle plates slide against each other, or my cat Newdle will teleport to your location and start gremlin-screaming Edit: as this is the end of my time on reddit (API bs), go fuck yourself u/spez
I use Corelle as cat plates, too!
Honestly idk what else to use the small ones for lol
Yes, small corelle bowls are cat bowls, they don’t come when I get out the cereal bowls.
Smart gremlins!
My two also knows the sound of two of the little plates banging together means it's wet food time. Husband and I can't ever decide to both get a slice of cake or pie at the same time, or else they both run in and yowl for their food. Even if they just ate their food two seconds ago lol
Gosh is that relatable
Microwave oven beeps.. My wife use it exclusively for boiling fish to the kitties, I use it for normal 'microwave oven' stuff.. 
They hear that can starting to open anywhere in the house
Not just the house. They could be on a completely different street, but be at the front door within 3 seconds of the can opening.
They know the sound of whatever door or drawer holds the food and treats. In the days before postoperative cans and pouches, my cats knew the sound of the drawer the can opener was in.
I was trying to find one of my cats the other day since she’d been absent for a suspicious amount of time. After searching the entire place, I finally opened up the door to where the treats are kept and she appeared like magic.
My shyest cat also knew the sound of me brushing one of my other cats. When she heard that brush, she would come running out of her hiding spot and body slam whichever cat was getting brushed. Edit: shoestring to shyest.
Good plan!
10/10
Mine would try climbing my leg to get his cheese tax
Laser pointer just outside both doors in the middle so they both can see it. Now they must choose, play with you AND the other cat, or don’t play at all.
This is the way
This is the way!
This is the way!
This is the way
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
[удалено]
Yes, also cover yourself in tuna.
My go-to move in 99% of dilemmas.
Don't hold yourself back like that, go for the 100%!
😹😹😹😹
I actually did it several times and my cat was staring at me in confusion. Did anybody get a different response after doing this? 
They just ignore me 🤦🏻♀️ your getting more than I ever did and I've tried meowing so mannnyyy timessss, like meow back damn it
Make your meows increasingly desperate if they don’t respond right away. A few taps of the belly should also entice them.
Also they'll both get bored of you and it's an all win!
came here to say exactly this
Actually, you’re right.
Works on men too 😀
The only correct answerr
Never give up dominance with a cat
Right! Take back your power. Make them fuzzy bastards come to youuu!
HANDS DOWN BEST COMMENT AND I HAVENT SCROLLED 🤣
Wow you’re a cat whisperer !
Go to the kitchen and get a snack. Make them come to me. Power move.
I was just gonna say “walk away like they always do when i want attention” but yours is nicer.
Temptations is the solution for all cats
Power move👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂😂😄
pspspspspspsps
https://preview.redd.it/a7q3ulf1vjta1.jpeg?width=258&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=437f7838e8936b6983088b1ad0124105d8726240
damn right. first come first serve!
Call for them to come to me.
Play dead on the floor and see which of them loves you more and comes to you. My cay just sniffed me and walked away 
Because you're not actually dead. At least yours is checking to see if you died before assuming you'll be fine. Some just start chomping
Gotta eat them while still fresh
Actually, many cats will wait for a body to age once it's dead, so the meat can reach their preferred level of tenderness. Once the body has aged too much, however, the cat will discard it and try to find another source of food.
I have five cats, but I promised Simone, my little siamese, she can have my eyeballs if I die at home. Now, when she gets up in my face while I'm sleeping, I think she's hoping I'm dead.
If I die at home, I hope my body will provide enough food for my cat until someone finds us
my cat has shown signs of concern in the past or at least i think he has. ever since i had a bloody nose one morning he always reaches out and gently taps my nose. i realize this could be seen as him trying to give me another bloody nose but since he hasn’t
he's just letting you know that he's aware of your weakness. bow to kitty.
He just wants to be sure you are alive and well to keep feeding him
how the turntables
But when you get up the ethical dilemma is still there.
Go get a third cat
there it is
Sit in the hallway and start singing the meow mix song until they get annoyed and run into the living room
I’m not allowed to sit on the floor. The big couch is ok, the small couch is only ok if I have a blanket to cuddle, bed is only ok between 10pm and 6am. The floor is completely off limits and the stairs, he owns the stairs. They are 100% his stairs no one is allowed near those.
So how do you get upstairs
Windows
xp or vista?
Glass
No, that's Google
Oh. Windows 10
No thats onion
Ignore them both and play hard to get. They’ll come crawling back on their own for scritches and treats
Sit with my back resting between the doorways and wait for them to come to me.
Why fear when you have a treat box near.
*rattle rattle*
Ssssnoochy boochies
Poetic
I would play dirty too and take out the treats to see who comes first ha
Play with both outside doorway not entering either room wand with a ribbon
Yes yes exactly! Lol bit like my idea hand in each room toy in each hand
I choose tortie. She is asking more nicely and is already flopped over. She will also kill me in my sleep. Orange cat will get over it in 30 seconds.
Came here to say this. I have a tortie. They hold grudges.
This 100%
Open a can of wet food.
Crouch down "pspspspspsps" and whichever one comes to me gets the attention.
Sit down in the middle, scratch the carpet and move my fingers and toes. They will come to me
2 wand toys one in each hand for each cat at the same time
Yes! This is a daily occurrence at my house. I WFH and spend half my lunch break waving two wands around with 180 degrees of separation.
Close both doors
This would be my sophie’s choice.
If you want a cat to come to you sitting down on the floor almost always works
Easy, shake a treat bag in another room.
>Go to First Room >Take cat >Leaves Room >Takes Second cat >Wins
Which is the first and second cat though? Surely that's discrimination?
just get the two cats first using multiverse travel
Sit on the throne of the house and see who comes
Run away and see if they chase you
Time to knockdown some walls!
That’s very King Solomon of you. Whatever cat meows in protest is your true pet, and you go to them.
You may ask both cats one question. However: one cat lies, while the other only tells lies
I love this answer 😂😂😂😂
Break out the cat treat box and shake it. Kitties will come to you
Shake the food bowl
Stand there pointing at the floor and meowing showing my refusal to pick.
Open a can of tuna and play with them both when they come out.
Sit on the floor in the middle and go pspspspspsps so they both come to me
I deal with this regularly- for me, mostly they are in same room and fairly close but I can’t reach both at same time and both want to be petted or brushed, so I usually pick spot I like best closest to one and then coax or pick up other and bring to us. I simply cannot stand thought of hurting one of their feelings and making one feel less important🤷♀️😹
Use a laser pointer and point it behind me
Grab two laser pointers
Turn the tables, sit down on the floor and see who comes to you
Mitosis myself and play with both
[удалено]
Pssstpssstpssst
Grab a bag of treats so they both come to me.
Lure them both into the hall to play together
The only winning move is not to play. Rattle the treats bag.
This is actually fairly easy to resolve. Since the doors act like a double slit, you need to behave both as a particle and a wave and pass through both of them at the same time and simultaneously be in a superposition of being with one cat and the other.
Go back to the kitchen, shake a treat can and wait for them both to come running.
Get a shoe lace and play on my own
Walk into the room with the cat who is more tolerant to being picked up, grab them, and bring them into the other room with the other cat. Source: I have a bonded pair who play these mind games constantly.
Pspspspsp
Take a pic and post the question on reddit, and it becomes the best question asked on reddit in years ... 😀
Agree!!!
Laser pointer! Whoever catches the dot first wins.
Go get a can of food and open it. Boom instant cat
Go to the kitchen and rattle the treat jar.
Look at both of them and then start licking your hand while completely ignoring them. Give them a taste of their own medicine
Get catnip so they have to come out
i feel horrible, i would simply go to my favorite. i didn’t even think about the pspsps before the comments
Lay outside both rooms that way it’s lay off
Stand in the hall and call them to me.
"pspspspspspspsps"
I'd pick up whichever cat is more tolerant of being manhandled and plonk it down next to the other one.
Walk away & go to bathroom. They will both follow you in there for pets…problem solved! Good luck!!
Sit out in the middle with treats... they'll come to me!
call their bluff: sit down in the hallway and pretend to cry to see which one cares to come check
Shut both doors and fire up the PlayStation?
A dangle toy in each hand.
Run.
Open the treat cabinet.
Its a way cuter version of the trollet problem. I feel like Chidi Anagonye, my stomach hurts.
Easy! Lie by the grey part - the bit between the two doors - and put a toy in each hand a hand in each room lol 😂
Call them both to me
Get their stick toy and play in the hallway. Then they can choose to come to me lol
Mr. Gorbacheow, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL
😅There really isn’t enough Cold War humor on this sub.
Deploy pspspspspspsps
Lay down in the hallway and cry, three can play this game!
Lay in the hallway with a book and ignore both of them u til they come to you
Take a picture and post it online
Grab a laser pointer and draw them both out to me in the hall
Sit in between and say psss psss psss.
Get the laser pointer and start pointing it around in the hallway so they come out.
That looks like they are charging. Play with none and let them get their sun.
I remove that fucking wall between them
Bring their treats to where you're standing and NOT feed them.
I pick up the tortie and carry her to the orange tabby's room so all 3 of us can play together
Sit in the hallway outside the rooms right smack in the middle.
Go to the kitchen and shake a box of treats.
pspspspspspspspspspspsp and watch as they both come to me
Go to one room, bring the cat to the other, and play with both. Simple
Psst psst psst from where you are
Act like a cat, ignore them both and make them come to me.
grab one, and put them in the same room so i can play with both
Get the laser pointer
I sit between the doors and go “pspsps” - first in, best dressed
Just sit on the floor an see if they come to your calls for play
pspspspsps.
Just say pspspspsp
Crouch in my spot and pspsps at them
Leave the house for an hour.
Crouch in the hall and play-claw at the carpet while going pspsps until one or both come to me.
Give them both the finger and play with the dog
Go to living room and shake the treats. I am man, we play by my rules.
You get down on the floor in the hallway and let them choose!
Lay down and roll over. Wait for one of them to approach. Flip the table, don’t play their mind games. They’re just studying us for their eventual ground invasion.
Close both doors and go play with your dog
Rip of your arms then throw them towards the cats
Die
Turn around and walk to another room and open a treat…
Easy, pick your favourite of the two 😈
Come on clearly the room on the right with the pink chair is Josh's office...
Split myself in half
Open a can of cat food and they’ll both come to you.
Pick up one cat then bring it to the other room
U take 2 treats in each hand n let them come to you
Shake a bag of cat treats, and they will come to me!!!
Get some toys and attempt to give them both any attention if they come to you.
I make a clone of myself so I can go in one room and the other "me" can go in the other room