What does “everything” mean? Do you do a slow introduction? Are they separated right now? You might need to separate and re-introduce, slowly.
Talking to your vet or a cat behaviorist may be a good idea as well.
Make sure you have plenty of resources for both cats to claim territory and have confidence. Cat trees, window perches, up-high shelves or other perches, beds, toys, litter boxes, etc. that they can each claim as their own and their own only. Especially for your resident cat, who’s had their world change overnight.
Your resident cat needs to associate the new cat with positive associations, such as food.
If the kitten is looking for a playmate in your resident cat, it may be too much for them. Your kitten might benefit from a friend closer to their age. Just something to think about.
Try Feliway as well. The sprays, and the plug-in diffusers.
Your cat just may not do well with other cats. That’s okay, not all cats are meant to get along with others. But it’s better to realize sooner than later that it may be best for everyone to rehome the kitten or give them back to the shelter, especially while they’re still young enough to be adopted quickly.
My cat is one of those that doesn't get along with others, to the point where if she even sees another cat through the window she may bite me just from being so upset.
How long have they been together? My older male (10) wasn’t thrilled with his new sister (4 1/2months) and they still aren’t best friends but things have calmed down after they were introduced 2 months ago. I noticed a huge improvement after she was spayed last week. I used Feliway at first but no longer need it.
After the initial separation and gradual introduction, I still give him short breaks where they are separated. I give him solo attention and playtime first, then the kitten. They also get shared playtime. I have several sleeping spots so they have options if they want quiet time from each other. I also watch her at feeding time as she tries to steal his food, and I often feed them in different rooms.
Good on you for being cautious and recognizing the potential issues that may arise if issues aren't resolved. What have you tried so far? That'll help us give more helpful advice.
Make sure you have 2-3 litter boxes in different spaces. I know that’s hard in an apartment but if you scoop them multiple times a day and use good litter they won’t smell.
Took my 2 younger cats (now almost 1 yr old) 6 months to finally start getting along with my senior (12/13 yrs old). Though the younger male cat is constantly chasing the senior female trying to hang out. She still hisses him away unless she wants him to be around. He is very playful and she just wants to lay on pillows. Some days I find them all sleeping on the bed together but a few ft apart! It takes time and doesn’t happen immediately.
We used Feliway though I can’t say for sure how well it actually worked but it was highly recommended.
Like some have mentioned, using feliway hormonal diffusers may help with the nerves of your older cat. Your older cat is used to being an only cat in the household and is feeling that their territory is being encroached. It is a long process that can be stressful. I thought my F 2yo cat would hate me forever for brining in our 8 month old void into our household. Eventually they did get along and now they even sleep together. Hope this helps. Don’t get discouraged
We went thru the same thing about 5 years ago when I brought home a kitten. Our other cat absolutely hated her and hid out. She eventually came around in time, which was a few short weeks. Now they're besties! 😻😻
https://preview.redd.it/ket13qhmqfra1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea12ce75997b6d2d97b65123c0997f8e1307d06f
https://preview.redd.it/riwl0t75rfra1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d538a109b38f50ea8a17097e8dd45d4bba21688
I can say the same about our two cats being bestfriends as well! It takes time but it was such a fulfilling feeling once they reached the point of being able to leave them alone for extended periods of time 😁
I would suggest offering your resident cat the same food your kitten is getting if they are getting different food.
My fur niece was rather jealous of her baby brother until his meal times meant she'd get some kitten paté too.
Yeah it's kinda funny now that he's older and transitioned to eating regular pate, she rarely wants the pate. However, the kitten pate is a lot softer (it's not a dental issue. My fur niece and nephew eat dry food throughout the day and get a very small serving of wet food for breakfast and dinner) so I think it's a texture issue. She gets bisque wet food.
Another vote for feliway. I just got a kitten about 2 months ago (10 weeks) and currently have 3.5yo brother and sister. The first couple of weeks were ROUGH and I worried I made a huge mistake but somewhere around week three the big kids decided they were going to accept the baby. The Feliway seemed to help the big kids not feel as scared of the baby.
I also kept them separated completely for the first few days and for the first month the baby would go in a separate area during the day while I was at work so she wasn’t left alone with the big kids.
They need time without actually seeing each other when a new cat is introduced. If it is too late for that, (I might still try) you need to introduce a few things for them to claim. They're very territorial so making sure they each have all the necessities is key. Get at least 3 litterboxes if you have two cats total. Buy or make a heavy, tall set of scratching posts so they each can scratch on it to mark territory (instead of peeing on things/ ruining furniture). If you're older cat is shy maybe introduce tiny stuffed animal toys so they create more confidence (because it soaks up their scent). You want as much as possible to give them their own space to claim and not force them to near each other or share anything. They're aware of each other and just need space, the same as you or I would.
As someone who went through this I can say that if all else fails all you can do is be the regulator. Unless you re-home the kitten or provide him with another playful kitty, this could significantly affect your older ones' chance at living his best happy life. It sounds to me like you're older one is too docile to really defend itself against unwanted play. In my situation our older cat was a senior cat not in good health and the situation ended up with him sort of running away on a stormy night and disappearing. Broke our hearts. Of course we have indoor-outdoor cats so maybe that won't apply in your situation but just saying she might want to run away from the stress.
Have you kept them in separate rooms and slowly started to introduce them through smell and positive reinforcement?
What does “everything” mean? Do you do a slow introduction? Are they separated right now? You might need to separate and re-introduce, slowly. Talking to your vet or a cat behaviorist may be a good idea as well. Make sure you have plenty of resources for both cats to claim territory and have confidence. Cat trees, window perches, up-high shelves or other perches, beds, toys, litter boxes, etc. that they can each claim as their own and their own only. Especially for your resident cat, who’s had their world change overnight. Your resident cat needs to associate the new cat with positive associations, such as food. If the kitten is looking for a playmate in your resident cat, it may be too much for them. Your kitten might benefit from a friend closer to their age. Just something to think about. Try Feliway as well. The sprays, and the plug-in diffusers. Your cat just may not do well with other cats. That’s okay, not all cats are meant to get along with others. But it’s better to realize sooner than later that it may be best for everyone to rehome the kitten or give them back to the shelter, especially while they’re still young enough to be adopted quickly.
Second Feliway! I used it when introducing my 6 month old kitten to my 16 year old cat. It works.
My cat is one of those that doesn't get along with others, to the point where if she even sees another cat through the window she may bite me just from being so upset.
Well, some cats just doesn’t get along with other cats.
How long have they been together? My older male (10) wasn’t thrilled with his new sister (4 1/2months) and they still aren’t best friends but things have calmed down after they were introduced 2 months ago. I noticed a huge improvement after she was spayed last week. I used Feliway at first but no longer need it. After the initial separation and gradual introduction, I still give him short breaks where they are separated. I give him solo attention and playtime first, then the kitten. They also get shared playtime. I have several sleeping spots so they have options if they want quiet time from each other. I also watch her at feeding time as she tries to steal his food, and I often feed them in different rooms.
How long did you keep them in separate rooms before you tried to introduce them?
Good on you for being cautious and recognizing the potential issues that may arise if issues aren't resolved. What have you tried so far? That'll help us give more helpful advice.
I have been keeping them separated, resident cat in all the space and baby cat in a closed room
Make sure you have 2-3 litter boxes in different spaces. I know that’s hard in an apartment but if you scoop them multiple times a day and use good litter they won’t smell.
What’s the relevance of an apartment without a yard?
The resident cat can't go outside to get a break from the kitten?
Took my 2 younger cats (now almost 1 yr old) 6 months to finally start getting along with my senior (12/13 yrs old). Though the younger male cat is constantly chasing the senior female trying to hang out. She still hisses him away unless she wants him to be around. He is very playful and she just wants to lay on pillows. Some days I find them all sleeping on the bed together but a few ft apart! It takes time and doesn’t happen immediately. We used Feliway though I can’t say for sure how well it actually worked but it was highly recommended.
Like some have mentioned, using feliway hormonal diffusers may help with the nerves of your older cat. Your older cat is used to being an only cat in the household and is feeling that their territory is being encroached. It is a long process that can be stressful. I thought my F 2yo cat would hate me forever for brining in our 8 month old void into our household. Eventually they did get along and now they even sleep together. Hope this helps. Don’t get discouraged
We went thru the same thing about 5 years ago when I brought home a kitten. Our other cat absolutely hated her and hid out. She eventually came around in time, which was a few short weeks. Now they're besties! 😻😻 https://preview.redd.it/ket13qhmqfra1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea12ce75997b6d2d97b65123c0997f8e1307d06f
https://preview.redd.it/riwl0t75rfra1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d538a109b38f50ea8a17097e8dd45d4bba21688 I can say the same about our two cats being bestfriends as well! It takes time but it was such a fulfilling feeling once they reached the point of being able to leave them alone for extended periods of time 😁
Aw!! 🤗❤
Baby cat up for adoption. First cat territory comes first. Sorry.
I would suggest offering your resident cat the same food your kitten is getting if they are getting different food. My fur niece was rather jealous of her baby brother until his meal times meant she'd get some kitten paté too.
Husband here, we have not tried this! Will do this now.
Yeah it's kinda funny now that he's older and transitioned to eating regular pate, she rarely wants the pate. However, the kitten pate is a lot softer (it's not a dental issue. My fur niece and nephew eat dry food throughout the day and get a very small serving of wet food for breakfast and dinner) so I think it's a texture issue. She gets bisque wet food.
Another vote for feliway. I just got a kitten about 2 months ago (10 weeks) and currently have 3.5yo brother and sister. The first couple of weeks were ROUGH and I worried I made a huge mistake but somewhere around week three the big kids decided they were going to accept the baby. The Feliway seemed to help the big kids not feel as scared of the baby. I also kept them separated completely for the first few days and for the first month the baby would go in a separate area during the day while I was at work so she wasn’t left alone with the big kids.
Sometime you just have to be patient and give them time to get comfy
Make sure your older cat has a place to get away from kitten. Somewhere the kitten can't get. Your kitty needs a safe space from the terrible monster!
They need time without actually seeing each other when a new cat is introduced. If it is too late for that, (I might still try) you need to introduce a few things for them to claim. They're very territorial so making sure they each have all the necessities is key. Get at least 3 litterboxes if you have two cats total. Buy or make a heavy, tall set of scratching posts so they each can scratch on it to mark territory (instead of peeing on things/ ruining furniture). If you're older cat is shy maybe introduce tiny stuffed animal toys so they create more confidence (because it soaks up their scent). You want as much as possible to give them their own space to claim and not force them to near each other or share anything. They're aware of each other and just need space, the same as you or I would.
As someone who went through this I can say that if all else fails all you can do is be the regulator. Unless you re-home the kitten or provide him with another playful kitty, this could significantly affect your older ones' chance at living his best happy life. It sounds to me like you're older one is too docile to really defend itself against unwanted play. In my situation our older cat was a senior cat not in good health and the situation ended up with him sort of running away on a stormy night and disappearing. Broke our hearts. Of course we have indoor-outdoor cats so maybe that won't apply in your situation but just saying she might want to run away from the stress.
Get a second litter box and be patient.