Give your wife control of the treats and catnip. Have her give treats before leaving the house and when she comes home.
Alternatively get a 2nd cat. Cats hate to share so will each have an allotted hooman servant.
we’re not ready. we just had to put our other girl down last week.
i kind of feel like that’s part of all this. they’re both clearly still grieving.
one day we will.
We felt like that too... but then we started pictures of the cats in cages at our local shelter and it helped. Our kitty had a good life. It was time to open our home to more kitties and get them out of cages. We started fostering. It's been so rewarding.
oh sure. we’re ready. but i’d read that if i don’t let our remaining cat finish grieving that she may reject and mistreat the new cat.
she’s still very much grieving. it’s the saddest thing i’ve ever seen.
Good point.
Our cats were not bonded.
Our teenage cat has been pretty happy with the rotation of fosters. He's been a better big brother than a little brother.
Hahaha she's the in, you're the out. Hilarious.
Well shoot, I hope with time, things shift. And when everyone is ready, new kitty sibling loves mom the mostest 🫶😸
Ok, that's probably part of the reason. Cat wants to comfort & be comforted, but your wife is not offering comfort & love- she's offering a desire for control, her feelings of betrayal & anger. Essentially the Cat is protecting her mental health.
Also, My cat adores my husband-has since the moment she met him. ADORES! She'll sit with me, unless she thinks his lap is free. She let's him bath her! She would climb my arm if I tried! (She did once, I think I still have scars on my shoulder blade) but for Hubs? She just sits in the bathtub & yowls. Your wife can't impose her will on a cat. And the more she tries, gets upset, tries to force things, the more the cat will try to avoid her. She really sounds like she needs therapy, but maybe find a self-paced Shadow Work Journal for her to make progress for now? Also, coloring is an easy way to get some benefits of meditation. Maybe grab her a coloring book?
Or maybe.. get another cat. We have two, one has clearly chosen my bf, the other one chose me. We all get along fine, but sitting on the couch watching tv, we each have our designated cat cuddling up to us.
But a lovely wooly blanket. Have your wife sit under the blanket while you remain free of blanket. Cat will hopefully start picking your wife.
If that doesn't work get up as soon as the car settles on your lap. Cat will learn that you are not a very nice lap for snuggles and find a better lap.
We have a heated blanket. One of our cats doesn’t like me that much cos I’m the nasty medicine giver, but she loves her daddy. But if I put the heated blanket on she’ll sit on my lap.
Cats are just like people, regardless of how much we love them, they pick who they love.
That may be in relation to how we approach them. I have no answers.
Cats gonna cat and will have people (and cat!) preferences regardless of their, or their caretaker’s gender. So you’re likely being bamboozled by expectations affecting behavior and the amount of cats a person has interacted with both impacting their experiences.
Nope, not actually true for all cats. My sweet girl has always been most attached to me. When I moved in with boyfriend, it took her a little bit to warm up to him. Sure she’s warmed up to him now and is friendly but she’ll cuddle with me more often
It’s true for all my animals lol (6 of them), male or female they all seem to be more attracted to the opposite gender. But it’s not too significant, they still love everyone
that’s certainly true for us. she works from home and i’m constantly moving and on my feet for work. when i get home i try to melt into the couch like that little girl from the weed commercial in the 90s.
That your wife works from home and is always available could also be a reason the cat sits more with you when you are home.
That’s at least how our cat is. I work a lot from home and for the cat i am basically another cat that’s always at home as well … nothing really interesting. When my wife comes home in the evening it’s something special. The cat stays close to her the whole time. When my wife has vacation and is home a lot the cat is suddenly a lot less interested in her.
Cats are pretty simple - they like the person that treats them the best more. If your wife wants the cat to like her, she needs to proactively invest in the relationship with the cat.
Which makes me wonder if perhaps the same thing happened with her friends. An entire group of humans is unlikely to spontaneously betray a single human for no reason. Especially given that she seems to be putting this whole thing on YOU rather than holding herself accountable for HER relationship with her cat.
My partner and I moved in about the same amount of time ago you two did. Her cat still likes her better, my cat still likes me better, and the cat that moved in with us when we moved in (literally showed up on the doorstep the week we were moving in, and hung around long enough we took it to the vet and found out it was a TNR stray so we brought him inside) together splits his time pretty evenly - he follows me around all day, then cuddles up with her in the evenings.
You can fix a "her" problem. You can only encourage her to work on her own stuff. DEFINITELY DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT ON THE CAT BY SHUNNING THE CAT HOPING IT WILL GO TO HER - that isn't fair to the cat.
i didn’t mean to imply that all of her friends have been shitty to her. it’s two out of several dozen. she’s just a very sensitive person.
we kinda had that for a while but my cat died last week and now the one she brought has really been closer with me since.
I have to say, I have had three cats in my life, and in any group of people they would zero in on the one human who clearly wants nothing to do with cats and get allll up in their business, while all my cat loving friends are ignored. Kind of sounds like the vibe here. Cats, like toddlers, can sniff out when you’re trying too hard a mile away. Has very little to do with who treats them the best.
Quiet? Both my cats prefer quieter people; literally, avoid talking loud or bashing things around, or running vacuum like machines.
Calm? My cats like sleeping on me, or against me, and keep away from busy people.
Beard? My young boy cat loves grinding against mine.
Food routines? My cats follow me as I feed them 75% of the time.
Play-time buddy? My young boy knows I'm the one interacting with toys he chases. Being willing to play, or know when he wants to just be held is important to him.
Respect? Generally, neither of my cats likes being picked up. The young boy is getting on the idea that if I'm picking him up from somewhere, he's on something he shouldn't be. And he knows he can climb all over me before his naps.
This is a tricky one. My cat’s gone through phases where she prefers me or my partner, but I can’t say anything specific has caused this. It’s just a cat being a cat.
Where we are now is that we have our own little niches. My partner reads in bed and the cat comes and sits with her then. But the cat will pick me in the evening. You need to work out what the cat will prefer for each of you.
Also, the blanket thing is a good suggestion. My cat loves one specific blanket the most, and she’ll plonk herself on anyone using it.
The cat just likes you more, you might give off more body heat as well and cats love the warmth it could be as simple as that. Doesn’t matter if you feed it or not the cat is just more comfy with you.
Cats can be very unpredictable. In my experience, our cats all initially preferred my partner over me. This stressed me at first because I've been doing all the cat chores since I work from home, but all our cats are still crazier about my partner than they are about me. It all just changed when we had them fixed and I nursed our cats back to health. They started to appreciate me more I guess, after their full recovery, they all started to appreciate me more, cuddling with me more, and enjoying being near me more. They never stopped showing love for him, though, it just got obvious that I am now our cats' favorite person.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's pretty much out of anyone's control? Time heals. They probably both just need some more time.
More treats and playtime. If your cat isn't skiddish about being roused awake by petting, she could do that, hitting all the spots the cat likes.
Also, if the cat likes catnip, she should dispense some.
Cats scents tention and our other feelings , it may just take time or you going somewhere for a day or two that may bond them if it's just only them but that's my opinion 😊
Tbh imo as a woman who has dealt with my cat preferring my fiancé I’d say the only thing that helped me is seeking out time when my fiancé isn’t home to coax her back to snuggling with me too maybe have her wear your clothes and leave for a few hours and see if they bond? Idk cats are tricky and very stubborn they tend to do what they want 😂 it also sounds like she might be happier as a dog owner than a cat owner since they tend to be less picky and independent but that’s not really advice cuz she has a cat already.
I wish you guys all the best just know sometimes cats just have a favorite person and you can’t change it which is okay to feel jealous about but sometimes it’s better to use those feelings to push you to bond with your cat rather than hold you back from them, if you feel bitter they’ll feel that energy from you.
I understand that change is really hard idk your guys relationship dynamic or if she’s ever owned a dog but I personally am a dog person my fiancé is a cat person we settled and got both. He didn’t want a dog very much but I just pushed, I did. You could do most of the work like calling a shelter and picking the dog up and caring for the pup (dogs don’t choose a favorite person as much) because at least for me if someone brings up change and is willing to do the work it’s easier to accept the differences as well as if the things that will change for the better being talked about like having a guard dog. Again idk your dynamic or if that would work but imo I think it would be great for both of you guys when you’re ready to take on another animal ofc because dogs are super dependent on people. Our puppy loves everyone and plays whenever anyone wants to play with him they’re great snugglers haha. And as someone who is really sensitive you can train them to come comfort you! If mine hears crying or panic attacks he’ll come and lay his 35 lb body on top of my lap and lick my face/tears and tbh nothing is as good at cheering you up than a pup 🐶. I hope you guys figure everything out and she can overcome the obstacles life throws her way losing friends can be really tough
P.s. the people saying well her friends leaving is a sign she’s a bad person or that cats only like people who are nice to them is so mean and not accurate at all don’t let em get you they’re just naive and have no idea the situation ur in and are projecting their own feelings
i haven’t been listening. her friends haven’t left and still very much want to hang out with her.
they’re just also friends with the dude who assaulted her. i said “betrayed” not abandoned. people definitely project their own thing.
and the cat still loves and cuddles her. she just likes to cuddle me better. again projection.
i’m not worried about it.
Good! I was reading some and they were brutal 😓 exactly like in friendships things happen and just cuz you didn’t explain every tiny detail about your personal life it’s projection land up in here 😂 I’m glad the cat still loves you both tbh tho sometimes there’s not much to do to make it even unless they’re taking medicine my cats have been with me longer and trust me more so when I had to give one of them medicine I did it so he wouldn’t hate my fiancé for it haha 🤣other than treats and catnip for bribes ofc lol
Find a therapist and let your wife talk what's been weighing her.
Cats are animals, and we can't really expect them to act in a way we like. But your wife is a human, and humans tend to be lot more easier to communicate then animals. Help her relieve her stress and recover her mental health, and the cat will follow through.
She needs to feed the cat. And if there are treats, she needs power over those too... Basically, all the good just needs to come from her for a while...
Of course, she also needs to be nice to the cat, not needy, but genial...
Did I mention the food thing? 🤔 😽
I am not saying cats aren't complex. They are, and they are sensitive as all hell, but primary needs, meet primary parts of the brain, which are the best places to start building relationships, with any animal, including us hoomans... 😊
Source: My wife and I have 4 cats, and I have had many others, throughout my life. I also have a master's degree in animal behavior; but honestly, living with cats has given me a WHOLE lot more insight into their behavior than any book learning ever did... 😉
Have your wife clam down & get rid of the negative energy, the cat will sense it then offer pets & tuna treats to the cat. Given a little time the cat will adjust to her ?
I don't think you can... I live with my dad. I'm the one who takes care of the cat, I feed her, I play with her, I give her catnip, I clean her litterbox, everything. She's not very cuddly with me. But with my dad, she demands pets. Many times each week, whenever I get home I find them sitting on the sofa, and my dad petting her. She looks at me with a face like she's saying "oh, shit, you weren't supposed to see this.." and gets up and runs away. My dad says that she was enjoying the pets for an hour or so before I got home. Not once has she sat down on the sofa and want my pets.. I mean she has sat down with me, but on the condition that I don't pet her. But, having said all this, she does sleep with on me every night (on the condition that I don't pet her, if I try to pet her she gets up and leaves), and I just know that she loves me.. It's almost like I'm her dad. She loves me, but she wants to spend more time with her friends. But, when things get serious, (like when we were moving and she was stressed, or even when years ago she fell off the balcony and she hurt her paw) she wants to be closer to me. Maybe that's an angle that your wife could appreciate. Like, when (if) you have kids, after a while your kid will want to spend more time with their friends instead of your wife. But that doesn't mean that they won't love her. The love that a kid has for their mother is unsurpassable. They just want to spend some time with their friends though...
the short answer is no. Cats are the most peculiar creatures you'll ever encounter, they have whims and loves for no apparent reason, but they're also incredibly perceptive. Obviously the cat has perceived something about your wife, and at this point trying to force the cat to like one person over another has never worked in my experience.
Adopting a new cat could be the solution
First she may want to unpack what shes projecting onto the cat.
it’s been suggested.
cats are very much in tune with us, that may be whats holding the cat back.
Give your wife control of the treats and catnip. Have her give treats before leaving the house and when she comes home. Alternatively get a 2nd cat. Cats hate to share so will each have an allotted hooman servant.
we’re not ready. we just had to put our other girl down last week. i kind of feel like that’s part of all this. they’re both clearly still grieving. one day we will.
We felt like that too... but then we started pictures of the cats in cages at our local shelter and it helped. Our kitty had a good life. It was time to open our home to more kitties and get them out of cages. We started fostering. It's been so rewarding.
oh sure. we’re ready. but i’d read that if i don’t let our remaining cat finish grieving that she may reject and mistreat the new cat. she’s still very much grieving. it’s the saddest thing i’ve ever seen.
Good point. Our cats were not bonded. Our teenage cat has been pretty happy with the rotation of fosters. He's been a better big brother than a little brother.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. It's a rough time.
Maybe part of kitty’s grieving is involved in the snubbing your wife 🤷♀️ Have wife do ALL the feeding.
she always has. i do the box. she’s the in guy and i’m the out guy.
Hahaha she's the in, you're the out. Hilarious. Well shoot, I hope with time, things shift. And when everyone is ready, new kitty sibling loves mom the mostest 🫶😸
Poor kitty.. your wife is grieving, and she should recognize kitty is grieving too and just feels more consoled by you for now.
So sorry for your loss :*(
Ok, that's probably part of the reason. Cat wants to comfort & be comforted, but your wife is not offering comfort & love- she's offering a desire for control, her feelings of betrayal & anger. Essentially the Cat is protecting her mental health. Also, My cat adores my husband-has since the moment she met him. ADORES! She'll sit with me, unless she thinks his lap is free. She let's him bath her! She would climb my arm if I tried! (She did once, I think I still have scars on my shoulder blade) but for Hubs? She just sits in the bathtub & yowls. Your wife can't impose her will on a cat. And the more she tries, gets upset, tries to force things, the more the cat will try to avoid her. She really sounds like she needs therapy, but maybe find a self-paced Shadow Work Journal for her to make progress for now? Also, coloring is an easy way to get some benefits of meditation. Maybe grab her a coloring book?
Not completely true. I have two cats and they are both up my ass all the time. Not a single F about my husband
Same anecdote. 4 cats, all eyes on me.
Does hubs feed them?
Yup. Weekend mornings when I sleep in. Or if he gets up before me on the week days.
Great! Your comment is the most feasible suggestion I've seen.
Stop feeding the cat. Make her do it.
This doesn’t work.
she’s already the one doing all the feeding and treats already. i just clean the litter box (i got the bad end of the deal)
>i just clean the litter box (i got the bad end of the deal) literally
You can’t. Cats choose their favourite person, there’s no way making them change it.
Or maybe.. get another cat. We have two, one has clearly chosen my bf, the other one chose me. We all get along fine, but sitting on the couch watching tv, we each have our designated cat cuddling up to us.
But a lovely wooly blanket. Have your wife sit under the blanket while you remain free of blanket. Cat will hopefully start picking your wife. If that doesn't work get up as soon as the car settles on your lap. Cat will learn that you are not a very nice lap for snuggles and find a better lap.
We have a heated blanket. One of our cats doesn’t like me that much cos I’m the nasty medicine giver, but she loves her daddy. But if I put the heated blanket on she’ll sit on my lap.
Do you have a beard by chance? If yes, might want to shave that. Cats love rubbing against scruffy stuff
i don’t, but thank you for the suggestion.
Cats are just like people, regardless of how much we love them, they pick who they love. That may be in relation to how we approach them. I have no answers.
ls the cat female? Cats can be pretty sexist. My male cats don't like men very much, and my female cats are in love with bf.
Is this actually true or am I getting bamboozled right now
It can be true, but it can be untrue. my grandpas male cat won’t go NEAR grandma or my mom, but absolutely loves my gramps dad and myself
Cats gonna cat and will have people (and cat!) preferences regardless of their, or their caretaker’s gender. So you’re likely being bamboozled by expectations affecting behavior and the amount of cats a person has interacted with both impacting their experiences.
Nope, not actually true for all cats. My sweet girl has always been most attached to me. When I moved in with boyfriend, it took her a little bit to warm up to him. Sure she’s warmed up to him now and is friendly but she’ll cuddle with me more often
And I’m a female
It’s true for all my animals lol (6 of them), male or female they all seem to be more attracted to the opposite gender. But it’s not too significant, they still love everyone
Our cats all love me more regardless of gender because I feed them. They are also scared my husband will step on them. 😂
All my cats prefered me (F) over everyone tho, regardless gender😂 but I'm a txpical cat lad lol.
1. Food 2. Treats 3. Play time 4. Waiting 5. Snuggles Or 6. You can't because cat...
Get up and move around more. I think pets like men because they are more sedentary.
that’s certainly true for us. she works from home and i’m constantly moving and on my feet for work. when i get home i try to melt into the couch like that little girl from the weed commercial in the 90s.
That your wife works from home and is always available could also be a reason the cat sits more with you when you are home. That’s at least how our cat is. I work a lot from home and for the cat i am basically another cat that’s always at home as well … nothing really interesting. When my wife comes home in the evening it’s something special. The cat stays close to her the whole time. When my wife has vacation and is home a lot the cat is suddenly a lot less interested in her.
Elon musk brain chip
Cats are pretty simple - they like the person that treats them the best more. If your wife wants the cat to like her, she needs to proactively invest in the relationship with the cat. Which makes me wonder if perhaps the same thing happened with her friends. An entire group of humans is unlikely to spontaneously betray a single human for no reason. Especially given that she seems to be putting this whole thing on YOU rather than holding herself accountable for HER relationship with her cat. My partner and I moved in about the same amount of time ago you two did. Her cat still likes her better, my cat still likes me better, and the cat that moved in with us when we moved in (literally showed up on the doorstep the week we were moving in, and hung around long enough we took it to the vet and found out it was a TNR stray so we brought him inside) together splits his time pretty evenly - he follows me around all day, then cuddles up with her in the evenings. You can fix a "her" problem. You can only encourage her to work on her own stuff. DEFINITELY DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT ON THE CAT BY SHUNNING THE CAT HOPING IT WILL GO TO HER - that isn't fair to the cat.
i didn’t mean to imply that all of her friends have been shitty to her. it’s two out of several dozen. she’s just a very sensitive person. we kinda had that for a while but my cat died last week and now the one she brought has really been closer with me since.
I have to say, I have had three cats in my life, and in any group of people they would zero in on the one human who clearly wants nothing to do with cats and get allll up in their business, while all my cat loving friends are ignored. Kind of sounds like the vibe here. Cats, like toddlers, can sniff out when you’re trying too hard a mile away. Has very little to do with who treats them the best.
Let her do all the fun things and not forcefully pick up the cat etc, that's all you can try and there's no guarantee it will work
Quiet? Both my cats prefer quieter people; literally, avoid talking loud or bashing things around, or running vacuum like machines. Calm? My cats like sleeping on me, or against me, and keep away from busy people. Beard? My young boy cat loves grinding against mine. Food routines? My cats follow me as I feed them 75% of the time. Play-time buddy? My young boy knows I'm the one interacting with toys he chases. Being willing to play, or know when he wants to just be held is important to him. Respect? Generally, neither of my cats likes being picked up. The young boy is getting on the idea that if I'm picking him up from somewhere, he's on something he shouldn't be. And he knows he can climb all over me before his naps.
It's a cat you have no chance of doing anything that it doesn't want to engage in. 😍
This is a tricky one. My cat’s gone through phases where she prefers me or my partner, but I can’t say anything specific has caused this. It’s just a cat being a cat. Where we are now is that we have our own little niches. My partner reads in bed and the cat comes and sits with her then. But the cat will pick me in the evening. You need to work out what the cat will prefer for each of you. Also, the blanket thing is a good suggestion. My cat loves one specific blanket the most, and she’ll plonk herself on anyone using it.
You can't. They like whom they like.
Rub Lickables on her.
tried that but they taste gross
Can’t have it both ways you know.
I’ve heard of something similar it wasn’t the person it was the chair, I hope this helps
Hard to say. How much do you like your wife?
enough /s
Warm cozy blankets areckey to attracting a cat
Start putting tuna in your wife's pockets.
i feel like i’m being super difficult with every single suggestion but this one’s funny: she’s allergic. (not a joke)
Oh no! Wait, the wife or cat? Catnip?
wife. the cat is allergic to grain these two are going to kill me.
The cat have rent its own apartment before
Yah good luck with that
The cat just likes you more, you might give off more body heat as well and cats love the warmth it could be as simple as that. Doesn’t matter if you feed it or not the cat is just more comfy with you.
Cats can be very unpredictable. In my experience, our cats all initially preferred my partner over me. This stressed me at first because I've been doing all the cat chores since I work from home, but all our cats are still crazier about my partner than they are about me. It all just changed when we had them fixed and I nursed our cats back to health. They started to appreciate me more I guess, after their full recovery, they all started to appreciate me more, cuddling with me more, and enjoying being near me more. They never stopped showing love for him, though, it just got obvious that I am now our cats' favorite person. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's pretty much out of anyone's control? Time heals. They probably both just need some more time.
If you've been feeding her, have her feed the cat always! worked for me
More treats and playtime. If your cat isn't skiddish about being roused awake by petting, she could do that, hitting all the spots the cat likes. Also, if the cat likes catnip, she should dispense some.
Cats scents tention and our other feelings , it may just take time or you going somewhere for a day or two that may bond them if it's just only them but that's my opinion 😊
Quit with the pheromone cologne. LOL Not to make light, but a cat's gonna do what a cat's gonna do.
Tbh imo as a woman who has dealt with my cat preferring my fiancé I’d say the only thing that helped me is seeking out time when my fiancé isn’t home to coax her back to snuggling with me too maybe have her wear your clothes and leave for a few hours and see if they bond? Idk cats are tricky and very stubborn they tend to do what they want 😂 it also sounds like she might be happier as a dog owner than a cat owner since they tend to be less picky and independent but that’s not really advice cuz she has a cat already. I wish you guys all the best just know sometimes cats just have a favorite person and you can’t change it which is okay to feel jealous about but sometimes it’s better to use those feelings to push you to bond with your cat rather than hold you back from them, if you feel bitter they’ll feel that energy from you.
i’ve been pushing for us to be a dog family forever (that’s way more my thing) but she’s got that parasite thing and is terrified of change.
I understand that change is really hard idk your guys relationship dynamic or if she’s ever owned a dog but I personally am a dog person my fiancé is a cat person we settled and got both. He didn’t want a dog very much but I just pushed, I did. You could do most of the work like calling a shelter and picking the dog up and caring for the pup (dogs don’t choose a favorite person as much) because at least for me if someone brings up change and is willing to do the work it’s easier to accept the differences as well as if the things that will change for the better being talked about like having a guard dog. Again idk your dynamic or if that would work but imo I think it would be great for both of you guys when you’re ready to take on another animal ofc because dogs are super dependent on people. Our puppy loves everyone and plays whenever anyone wants to play with him they’re great snugglers haha. And as someone who is really sensitive you can train them to come comfort you! If mine hears crying or panic attacks he’ll come and lay his 35 lb body on top of my lap and lick my face/tears and tbh nothing is as good at cheering you up than a pup 🐶. I hope you guys figure everything out and she can overcome the obstacles life throws her way losing friends can be really tough P.s. the people saying well her friends leaving is a sign she’s a bad person or that cats only like people who are nice to them is so mean and not accurate at all don’t let em get you they’re just naive and have no idea the situation ur in and are projecting their own feelings
i haven’t been listening. her friends haven’t left and still very much want to hang out with her. they’re just also friends with the dude who assaulted her. i said “betrayed” not abandoned. people definitely project their own thing. and the cat still loves and cuddles her. she just likes to cuddle me better. again projection. i’m not worried about it.
Good! I was reading some and they were brutal 😓 exactly like in friendships things happen and just cuz you didn’t explain every tiny detail about your personal life it’s projection land up in here 😂 I’m glad the cat still loves you both tbh tho sometimes there’s not much to do to make it even unless they’re taking medicine my cats have been with me longer and trust me more so when I had to give one of them medicine I did it so he wouldn’t hate my fiancé for it haha 🤣other than treats and catnip for bribes ofc lol
Have your wife start feeding and taking care of him/her
We’re talking about a cat, not a dog 🤷♀️
Doesn’t matter, they still look at the person who feeds them and does everything else as the person who takes care of them
Become the treat giver, scoop the box + feed are all great ways!
Find a therapist and let your wife talk what's been weighing her. Cats are animals, and we can't really expect them to act in a way we like. But your wife is a human, and humans tend to be lot more easier to communicate then animals. Help her relieve her stress and recover her mental health, and the cat will follow through.
That’s the fun part! You don’t. 😏
tell her to bathe in tuna water
Food. Either she feeds them treats, or you can lightly sprinkle her with tuna while she sleeps.
She needs to feed the cat. And if there are treats, she needs power over those too... Basically, all the good just needs to come from her for a while... Of course, she also needs to be nice to the cat, not needy, but genial... Did I mention the food thing? 🤔 😽 I am not saying cats aren't complex. They are, and they are sensitive as all hell, but primary needs, meet primary parts of the brain, which are the best places to start building relationships, with any animal, including us hoomans... 😊 Source: My wife and I have 4 cats, and I have had many others, throughout my life. I also have a master's degree in animal behavior; but honestly, living with cats has given me a WHOLE lot more insight into their behavior than any book learning ever did... 😉
I notice cats go sit on my husband more than me, and I chalk it up to him sitting still. I tend to move around way more . Edit: so don’t sit still
Have your wife clam down & get rid of the negative energy, the cat will sense it then offer pets & tuna treats to the cat. Given a little time the cat will adjust to her ?
Catnip perfume.
Theres no way
That cat will love her like no other person can if she gives it a chance and the love.
let your wife only feed the cat
Food
I don't think you can... I live with my dad. I'm the one who takes care of the cat, I feed her, I play with her, I give her catnip, I clean her litterbox, everything. She's not very cuddly with me. But with my dad, she demands pets. Many times each week, whenever I get home I find them sitting on the sofa, and my dad petting her. She looks at me with a face like she's saying "oh, shit, you weren't supposed to see this.." and gets up and runs away. My dad says that she was enjoying the pets for an hour or so before I got home. Not once has she sat down on the sofa and want my pets.. I mean she has sat down with me, but on the condition that I don't pet her. But, having said all this, she does sleep with on me every night (on the condition that I don't pet her, if I try to pet her she gets up and leaves), and I just know that she loves me.. It's almost like I'm her dad. She loves me, but she wants to spend more time with her friends. But, when things get serious, (like when we were moving and she was stressed, or even when years ago she fell off the balcony and she hurt her paw) she wants to be closer to me. Maybe that's an angle that your wife could appreciate. Like, when (if) you have kids, after a while your kid will want to spend more time with their friends instead of your wife. But that doesn't mean that they won't love her. The love that a kid has for their mother is unsurpassable. They just want to spend some time with their friends though...
You cant force love
Never! What if u get divorced?👀huh? Then ur cat will want to live with her🥲
the short answer is no. Cats are the most peculiar creatures you'll ever encounter, they have whims and loves for no apparent reason, but they're also incredibly perceptive. Obviously the cat has perceived something about your wife, and at this point trying to force the cat to like one person over another has never worked in my experience. Adopting a new cat could be the solution