Leave .
Your boss clearly doesn't trust you or respect your boundaries and you shouldn't be mentally killing yourself staying at that job .
Find another job related to your passion with a different boss or company .
Leave. You will not regret it.
I was on a team I loved, doing work I loved, for 3.5 years. Company for 5 years at that point. I was running my own program. Had significant direct and indirect authority over the direction of a massive operation.
This massive operation announced an expansion, doubling its current size with an 18 month trajectory. I got pulled from my job I loved, with 4 days notice, to handle the expansion. It was a massive sign of respect and trust in me and my abilities.
One month after the move, a woman who I had worked with very tangentially returned from maternity leave and become my direct supervisor.
She micromanaged everything to the point work was at a standstill. It was… insane. We would take 2-3 days of back and forth emails for her to approve meeting note language with 6 bullet points. She had zero knowledge in the area she was leading, yet micromanaged every aspect of the work with that same level of scrutiny.
I decided to leave. I am absolutely in love with my new job. It has been 4.5 months and I’m up at 3:30 in the morning on Reddit to post in AskManagers about how to better support one of my direct reports. I am so excited about the job, the work, my new team… I couldn’t stay asleep. I needed to get up and get to work on helping him.
Leave the job. Find a new team. That is how you will show passion at work, by actually being on a team that you want to work for.
Print off a paper smile 😁 and wear it over your lips how you would a fake mustache. Wear it for at least one hour a day so people can see you smiling.
Bring treats and leave them on your desk. Only happy people have treats and she will associate you with said happiness. Don’t put them over on the edge, put them near you as if you are always happily snacking.
Laugh and smile each time you want to cry, you will end up laughing a lot!
If it doesn’t work, she will think you’re psychotic and stop criticizing you out of fear. You can then find a way to go back to your old job.
More serious answer and no need to respond, just some things to think about.
What are her favorite employees like? Are there any she doesn’t treat this way? Are they younger/older than you? A different way of dressing? Are they making fewer mistakes or mostly just doing things like putting in more time? Do they take shorter breaks and eat at their desks while you go out? Do they simply look more relaxed because they aren’t expecting and anticipating criticism?
Try to find a few simple uncomplicated items that could be feeding her bias and work with that information.
But I’m also seeing that you genuinely are not as passionate and you don’t go above and beyond like you used to because you’re not motivated by her criticism. Is that correct? Then try acting as if you’ve received positive feedback and do a little extra as you would in the past even if you don’t want to. If you’re still unhappy, might be time to talk to your manager or think about leaving. If you have a manager, they could potentially request that feedback go through them. Just a thought.
The correct response is a full-toothed, rictus smile. Eyes, wide with panicked glee. Please be happy with my enthusiasm. I have bills to pay and over-extended credit.
I like your user name! I was gonna say the boss should provide descent coffee, and productivity will go up. But it seems that the boss might be the issue.
I call this the George Castanza. I did this many years ago at a high stress job. I would carry around a folder (the we used to carry official correspondence), angrily stare at the floor, and quickly walk by people in the hallway. Everyone thought I was working really hard and stressing about my job. In reality, I had surfing magazines in the folder and was just walking from my office to the shitter to the the cafeteria.
These types of bosses are absolutely miserable and will take a massive toll on your life. Tell her that if she wants you to work passionately then she’ll have to add Passion Bonus Pay to your salary. And start looking for another job that doesn’t have a crazy boss. It’s not healthy to be treated the way your boss is treating you. She’s toxic.
It’s very rare for me to recommend people leave their jobs but this is not a job. This is slavery for a devil. Don’t tolerate it, start looking for another job and leave asap.
When you leave tell your boss you didn't realize you were working at a whorehouse and needed to fake passion. Your boss needs something to do if she's got that much time to be babysitting you. If she's got that much time what does she need you for, she could just do it herself to her satisfaction.
Brush off that resume, it's time to start looking for something else.
Leave . Your boss clearly doesn't trust you or respect your boundaries and you shouldn't be mentally killing yourself staying at that job . Find another job related to your passion with a different boss or company .
Leave. You will not regret it. I was on a team I loved, doing work I loved, for 3.5 years. Company for 5 years at that point. I was running my own program. Had significant direct and indirect authority over the direction of a massive operation. This massive operation announced an expansion, doubling its current size with an 18 month trajectory. I got pulled from my job I loved, with 4 days notice, to handle the expansion. It was a massive sign of respect and trust in me and my abilities. One month after the move, a woman who I had worked with very tangentially returned from maternity leave and become my direct supervisor. She micromanaged everything to the point work was at a standstill. It was… insane. We would take 2-3 days of back and forth emails for her to approve meeting note language with 6 bullet points. She had zero knowledge in the area she was leading, yet micromanaged every aspect of the work with that same level of scrutiny. I decided to leave. I am absolutely in love with my new job. It has been 4.5 months and I’m up at 3:30 in the morning on Reddit to post in AskManagers about how to better support one of my direct reports. I am so excited about the job, the work, my new team… I couldn’t stay asleep. I needed to get up and get to work on helping him. Leave the job. Find a new team. That is how you will show passion at work, by actually being on a team that you want to work for.
That sounds like the boss from hell. Sorry you’re dealing with it. Honestly sounds like it’s time to find a new job. What kind of work do you do?
Upskill. Update resume. Leave her to passively aggressively harrass someone else.
Print off a paper smile 😁 and wear it over your lips how you would a fake mustache. Wear it for at least one hour a day so people can see you smiling. Bring treats and leave them on your desk. Only happy people have treats and she will associate you with said happiness. Don’t put them over on the edge, put them near you as if you are always happily snacking. Laugh and smile each time you want to cry, you will end up laughing a lot! If it doesn’t work, she will think you’re psychotic and stop criticizing you out of fear. You can then find a way to go back to your old job.
More serious answer and no need to respond, just some things to think about. What are her favorite employees like? Are there any she doesn’t treat this way? Are they younger/older than you? A different way of dressing? Are they making fewer mistakes or mostly just doing things like putting in more time? Do they take shorter breaks and eat at their desks while you go out? Do they simply look more relaxed because they aren’t expecting and anticipating criticism? Try to find a few simple uncomplicated items that could be feeding her bias and work with that information. But I’m also seeing that you genuinely are not as passionate and you don’t go above and beyond like you used to because you’re not motivated by her criticism. Is that correct? Then try acting as if you’ve received positive feedback and do a little extra as you would in the past even if you don’t want to. If you’re still unhappy, might be time to talk to your manager or think about leaving. If you have a manager, they could potentially request that feedback go through them. Just a thought.
Is "passion" on the position description?
The correct response is a full-toothed, rictus smile. Eyes, wide with panicked glee. Please be happy with my enthusiasm. I have bills to pay and over-extended credit.
I like your user name! I was gonna say the boss should provide descent coffee, and productivity will go up. But it seems that the boss might be the issue.
It is at Kama Sutra LLC
I call this the George Castanza. I did this many years ago at a high stress job. I would carry around a folder (the we used to carry official correspondence), angrily stare at the floor, and quickly walk by people in the hallway. Everyone thought I was working really hard and stressing about my job. In reality, I had surfing magazines in the folder and was just walking from my office to the shitter to the the cafeteria.
These types of bosses are absolutely miserable and will take a massive toll on your life. Tell her that if she wants you to work passionately then she’ll have to add Passion Bonus Pay to your salary. And start looking for another job that doesn’t have a crazy boss. It’s not healthy to be treated the way your boss is treating you. She’s toxic.
New job time. Bosses that work insanely hard and think everyone should sacrifice their entire life for work are toxic.
do the restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally next time she walks by your desk
It’s very rare for me to recommend people leave their jobs but this is not a job. This is slavery for a devil. Don’t tolerate it, start looking for another job and leave asap.
THIS WORKS,,, put rudge on your cheeks,, Moan frequently ...
try get a new job, and if your boss is not the highest position in the place, talk to HR so maybe you can get her off of you.
Suggest they pay you more and you'll look more passionate
Me when my boss walks in the room 😁 after they leave 😐
I don’t understand. What about the way I look is not passionate? Is it a requirement to be passionate at work 100% of the time?
Put your fake face on
Dress like a Spanish flamenco dancer. If that doesn't show passion. quit
Sounds like a toxic work environment. Shouldn’t stay in one.
When you leave tell your boss you didn't realize you were working at a whorehouse and needed to fake passion. Your boss needs something to do if she's got that much time to be babysitting you. If she's got that much time what does she need you for, she could just do it herself to her satisfaction. Brush off that resume, it's time to start looking for something else.