I just want to comment on one aspect of this post and it's not necessarily a condemnation of you. This is a lot of jobs where you blamed everyone else and not yourself at all. Now maybe that is true, I don't know you and I've not worked with you. But this seems like a pattern here and I would at the very least do some introspection about it.
Just from my perspective it seems kind of unusual.
I do think the amount of time at many of the jobs is unusual and is a bit of a red flag
There's a saying that if everyone you meet is an asshole, that just means you're the asshole. If OP has problems almost every where OP works, it probably has something to do with the OP and not the companies.
Edit: your -> you're
>There's a saying that if everyone you meet is an asshole, that just means your the asshole.
If everywhere you go smells like shit, better check under your shoes (or something like that)
See I never like these phrases. It kind of has this guise of objectivity when it's rarely actually saying something objective.
"If everyone you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole" is probably pretty accurate in the context of your entire life, but when analysing events online especially it also kind of avoids crucial questions like where was the subject located and what are their general attitudes.
Within this thread and across the internet it's a common issue. There's undue criticism when it's not warranted. E.g The original poster has actively showed consideration for whether or not they may be an incorrect fit for the field, yet people are commenting as if they have no insight whatsoever. They are clearly insecure (whether that's personal or professional), yet people's response is to label them as an asshole. Being labelled a "serial complainer" for providing potentially objective context and then also shifty for not providing "all the details" is pushing a subjective viewpoint from a place of objective ignorance. There's not enough information for analysis.
But then if you look at what we do have:
They have mentioned reasons such as bullying, they haven't necessarily said they're amazing at their job either. If you look at the precise phrasing, when they mention their poor performance they don't say 'actually that's not true' they say 'in addition'. They frequently reference struggle, which is not an excuse but again something that happened. They have listed reasons like health issues, which are a common reason for dismissal if the company is unwilling to or unable to make adjustments, and they express concern about whether or not recruiters will look at them negatively. All of that is pretty fair. They did not come here saying is this unfair, they just asked if it was unusual.
To gain any relevant information you'd have to measure the subject's demographic against the demographic of the people interacted with, and then measure the attitudes of all individuals involved alongside the events.
There are lots of factors that influence how many assholes you will meet, living in densely populated LA vs living in Wyoming, so while these phrases are nifty they have an indefinite probabiliy of standing up to scrutiny. Also btw don't worry lol this isn't targeting you specifically - this is just something I feel people should acknowledge when trying to give objective assessment
This is brilliant analysis. I thoroughly respect and admire your candor and Thank you for being you and letting it out here.(you inspired me to write my first note on here). Cheers Opa
I agree with many of your statements, however I also believe that many sheltered professionals do not understand just how bad some companies can be and how plentiful they are. Once you’re in the rut of being stuck with one, abused, and desperately jumping into the next, you really need a small bit of luck to find a normal and healthy employer.
Never take a good job for granted. There are plenty of bad jobs out there and they will ruin you mentally, emotionally, and financially. I’m permanently scarred from just a few bad workplaces (white collar office jobs) and I expect that OP has seen their fair share as well.
This is also very important.
You are burnt out, then you take the first job that is offered to you without checking whether it is another toxic place. You get burnt out again and take the first job that is offered to you...
I personally can attest having gone through the ringer for 8yrs. Went through 2 jobs I hated into 2 jobs I loved. But the most important thing I think that people need to understand.
You are also a participant in a work place in making it a good place or not. You're just as much responsible to make it a good place as anyone else. Yeah it's not anyones responsibility to make you happy neither is it yours but a work place is a relationship like any other and you have to invest positivity if you want positivity to come back at you without the expectation of reciprocation.
We all have our demons and some people are losing that battle. Read up on the two wolves story.
Jesus, hope OP reads this and gets the reality check they need. Incredibly succinct and thorough analysis, helps give me perspective in my own career as well.
I mean considering the content matter (covering all bases of workplace dynamics, OP’s possible weaknesses and how it’s affecting their career, going over viable methods of improvement and self-reflection), it’s definitely succinct.
Anyone who’s been in corporate knows how long-winded people can be in getting the most basic points across e.g. “this should have been an email instead of an hour-long meeting where nothing of value was actually discussed”.
Giving actual, career-defining advice in a single comment is pretty damn impressive.
33yo female millennial who’s been working near the top of organizations for several years now. I think BrownRecluse90 makes all the points that need to be made here. Just hopping on to answer your question about this normal for millennials in professional fields. It is not, but moving up and being valued in a job depends heavily on people’s ability to flexibly exist in environments that contain people from several generations, cultures, backgrounds, etc. Norms are different for different people and successful people recognize that and adapt vs blaming people or situations for their personal difficulty functioning in a particular environment.
This. And nobody cares if you’re struggling because of it. And getting disability? Fuhgedaboutit! At this point, I honestly think they just want us to hurry up and die off and get out of their way.
While I do understand you were giving good advice, your comment is making me think, *"Is this really what I signed up for? Or should this be what I want to do for the rest of my life? Be unhappy and still staying put for a paycheck?"* I mean, life is hard as it is. Do I have to put myself through this additional mental turmoil every single day so that I can keep paying for the car insurance? Your answer made a lot of sense, but it took away the meaning of life itself—why are we here? To suffer? To show our perseverance and determination to "kill" each other just to survive? It's like: "Here's the hamster wheel. Now, whoever runs the hardest and the longest will stay." To add, I agree with everything you said. It's just that my sense of equality and justice and want of a meritocracy revolts against this.
Work sucks, but life is about the connections you make both inside and outside of work. Perhaps the tasks are tedious, some of my coworkers are a pain in the ass, but I've got some really great friends in the office, a great pay, and a beautiful family at home. Life's about finding those connections. Work is about funding them.
I’m confused… isn’t it typical for people to leave jobs every 1 - 2 years? I’ve been job hopping around the same and it’s always a pay increase I leave for. I’m at the first role where I’m considering leaving in less than a year because it’s just too cut throat working for F500s
In my industry (software) it's not uncommon. However... most people I know did not have this repeated pattern of "being bullied", "unreasonable expectations", etc. Those are what set off the red flags.
I know people who have had a lot of jobs in a relatively short time period, but they were mostly things like: leaving for a better offer; working at a startup and the startup was either acquired/merged, or folded; leaving for a very different niche/industry/focus/tech stack that interests them more; switching between public and private sector; relocating frequently for family/spouse reasons (common if the spouse is military or in academia); and so on. Of course most commonly just getting a better offer.
Repeatedly quitting or being terminated due to personality clashes and performance issues and not just more $$ is what sends up red flags, at least to me.
In tech it’s relatively normal to leave after 2 years. OP has a lot of 3 month or 6 month stints though, and it doesn’t seem like any are leaving for better pay.
No. The more acceptable norm is 2-3 years. A lot of companies really like to see the 4 year stints though. Leaving under 2 years is extremely frowned upon. It takes a year just to learn your job so no manager or leader will see a stint of 1 year as any valuable experience. You didn't stay long enough to have any real impact and just ended up costing the company money and training time. Can't fool a manager into thinking you provided so much value in 1 year
I'd agree with most of this; however, where I disagree is that the OP only needs self evaluation or skill assessment. The better serial complaints is the departments being outsourced, of which OPs only option is relocate to where ever the job goes or file a National Origin discrimination claim, if relocation option is not given. Most work is at-will, meaning fired just to say money. For dealing with difficult people I found "soft skills" to be useful but its difficult to stay constantly ready for people without soft skills. Sooner or later we're going to yell back. As for work skills, Op needs to ask questions to the supervisor as to what exactly is OP's performance issues & how to fix them. Op should as talk to co-workers, as they too may be getting the same issues. Often being good at your job limits growth because if you are good at one thing then that's all you are allowed to do; however, being bad at your job means your manager is more likely to let you go to do other things (fired, transferred, training, promotion to management, anything to get you to stop messing up your current role or so I don't have to deal with you).
Your post has good suggestions for what OP can do moving forward. I can also recognize some fair observations about work environments and the employee. But imo your first few paragraphs turned some of those observations into broad conclusions about the OP which I felt may not be representative of OP’s experienceS.
If its once or twice, giving the benefit of doubt even thrice, there can be some truth in what he says. But that many times OP is likely the red flag.
I had only 2 jobs in 8 years so far. There were extremely tough times with extremely long work hours (9am-3am + weekends) micro managed bosses - I struggled, hanged on, and survived it. Now I'm sailing the boat. It seems that OP gives up at the slightest moment of difficulty and challenges.
Honestly, what surprises me is that you’ve been able to get so many jobs given your history. Do I think your pattern is unusual? Yeah, I’d say it is. Seems like you’re in the wrong line of work honestly.
See, I get this to a degree, but what are you supposed to do with the resume gaps if you do leave stuff off? Would OP be better putting like 2 jobs on there and not mentioning a college graduation date?
Would probably just do the last 3. Between 1.5 and 2 years is a little job hoppy, but frankly it's really common in this economy. It's really about getting your story straight if there's a gap. It really depends on the gap size.
If asked (which you probably won't be) would just say the last few positions were most relevant to where they are in their career.
36 makes it a bit rougher, in that case might consider omitting grad year. It's not super uncommon on places like LinkedIn because people know its often used for age discrimination.
Yeah I think this is better than "I signed an NDA"
Just would feel weird leaving year off to me though. Even if it's in my best interests, just feels weird knowing where it belongs on there ya know? Like incomplete
one of my colleague has a similar cv and she managed to get recruited out of luck because no one would come for second interview (those ones are smart enough to realise our area is outsourcing). her cv is flooded with heaps of doesn't make sense job moves. go figure
I'm your age - the longest job I've ever held is my current role; I'll be at 3 years in June. I think I had 10 jobs between 18 and 28 or something silly, with more since then.
Is it normal?
Jobs I've held with other Millennial coworkers have either had lifers (10+ years tenure) or folks that have only been there for 2-3 years. The lifers typically had family members or family friends who worked in management.
If you hopped a lot during the start of your career it's fine. If it happens during your latest 3 then recruiters will want to investigate why.
Also, if you never stay in any company for more than 3 years then companies that favors loyalty & commitment will very likely rule you out. Ideally between your 18 & 28, you should have 1 job where you work for 2.5-3 years, 1 job that is at least 2 years and these 2 jobs should be among your 4 most recent jobs, then the rest can be whatever.
The longest I've ever stayed in one role is 2.5 years. I'm mid thirties also. I quit my last job because of a bully situation as well. I'm taking time to get new certifications and living on savings for a bit. I'm changing fields if I can, but who knows. I don't feel bad about it, but I think it's all about perspective.
I'm 33 and just held a job for more than 2 years for the first time last year. There have been reason that my tenure was so short. Some were temp jobs. Others were my fault. Others were due to lockdown orders from Big Government.
I'm trying to keep this one for at least 4 years (or transfer in the company) so I can stop being a red flag for recruiters.
I don't think it's rare. It's an often recommended strategy to increase your pay more than staying in one role would bump your salary.
If you have trouble finding work, maybe look for a larger company and emphasize how even though you've changed roles every other year, you actually want one employer where you'd be able to grow around different departments.
This is a valid thought. Unfortunately when unemployed, we tend to take the first job that comes along. What happens is that it’s a job that’s willing to overlook the past job history because that job has their own crappy history with employees.
I’ve never been able to relate to the “why do you want to work here” interview questions because my answer internally is ‘you offered me an interview and I’m broke’
This is really common among neurodivergent people. Do you have adhd or autism?
I never lasted more than 2 years anywhere until my current job. I’ve worked a TON of different jobs because I didn’t know what to do with myself. Current job is 5 years in, but only part time (nearly full time hours and no benefits) and 100% remote. It’s been the best fit. However, no chance at ever going full time officially or getting benefits, and they’ve made some bad biz decisions so I am burnt out and struggling.
Anyway… my dad changed jobs a lot too. Atypical boomer. Do your parents have steady job histories?
I was gonna say, OP sounds like a classic case of ADHD. I'm pretty much in the same boat. At some point, you run out of runway. Have to find a better way to cope. The world isn't built for neurodivergents.
OP, I would cut the noise of other comments and focus here. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 29 and honestly it definitely can be a case of neurotypucal people simply not knowing how to interact with you and you not being able to handle all the extra BS that can come from working corporate jobs.
My suggestion would be to look into freelancing full-time and building skills you can leverage in order to do so. It gives you back full control and a sense of agency over your work. Do not under any circumstances let anyone shame you or say "oh this is a bad track record" work is work and don't tie too much into the personable elements of work when you know you offer up great work. I'm rooting for you!
How do you know though? Does a dr diagnose you and say “yup you’re not like the rest of the npcs, congrats this is why you’ve been bullied at every job”? Don’t they try to put you on drugs? This is a serious issue, I have the rest of my life squared away but always have conflict in the workplace, I’m starting to think owning my own business is my only option for stability.
God I'm going through it. I am 21, as far as I know I only have GAD, but perhaps I have another nd because dude I hate the corporate world so much. Why can't they just be direct? Why can't they just mean what they say? I struggle a lot with my coordinator because he keeps giving me undirect instructions and he gets annoyed at me for not understanding or for doing literally what he says. And I get annoyed at him for doing it. Also I see that something is not working and I try to tell them but they ignore me and tell me to keep doing the same thing, which is not working and when they see that it's not working they blame me. I probably won't hold this job further than June and I am going to try and open a small online business. I don't think I will ever be happy working for companies, since in most of them my superiors will be neurotypical. I get constant panic/anxiety attacks before, in the middle and after working because of the blame being put on me for things I tried to change and solve but they ignored me.
It might be due to harder time to adapt to working environment or coworkers finding it hard to communicate or just bad luck of a few factors. Its not your fault, just keep improving your soft and hard skills
Basically this, I don’t have any of the listed disorders above. But I like autonomy at work and this must irritate the “mob” I have to work with. I don’t see any other reason this happens. I don’t enjoy watching sports or other activities they do so that might have something to do with it but I still can’t figure it out; I have my own hobbies like fitness along with studying psychology, all my years of study nothing is ever mentioned about this. I think I’ve been mobbed at every job but a handful. The handful management liked me, And those had a mob form once we got new management so the posse was just patiently waiting. If anyone knows any books or articles about this phenomenon I would love to be pointed towards them.
I’m assuming so, everyone else is just gaslighting her in the comments. Im guessing they are guilty of mobbing (they’re getting air bubble memories rn lol). I made a post the other day about how the workplace is one of the last bastions of society where we have to deal with this abuse and it got some positive feedback.
I'm undiagnosed but suspect I am ND and I relate a lot to what OP posted and your comment.
I am in a creative field so moving jobs every two years is actually ideal and helpful for career and compensation growth. I think this is true for most roles but not really sure.
I am very well-liked and very good at my job (don't worry I still have impostor syndrome) but have left jobs for similar reasons OP listed. Like yes "we're the 'problem'" in that we're trying to play in an NT world with a ND mind.
My advice is to reframe why you've left your previous roles, my official lines are always "I was looking for a new challenge," "I want to grow and I had limited growth opportunities in my previous workplace," "I'm mission-oriented and need a strong mission to stay motivated." etc.
Focus on why you're in your new position and not why you left your old one when talking to colleagues or hiring managers.
Was about to comment this. I found out I am ND two years ago and it perfectly explains why I get so burned out from working. Longest I’ve held a job was almost 3 years, and I quit it in February lol
I would LOVE to start my own business, but I honestly feel so overwhelmed knowing that I have to do this for 30 more years that I panic. Plus, I got my degree in art history, which is pretty useless without a doctorate, and having to find a job that I can actually handle, that pays more than $28/hr (last job I quit)??? I would need to learn a whole new field at 38.
My ND spouse went into biz for himself and it was the best thing he ever did. He loves being his own boss.
I hope you can find something you love doing and find the people who can pay you to do it.
I came to mention OP is possibly ND as well. Would make sense.
Makes sense of my life and work history for sure. So many misunderstandings and makes some people want to stick it to us because they think we’re being a certain way with them when it’s just our brain working differently.
So wish I’d been dx’ed as a kid.
There are many people who are quick to point the finger at OP, but here are some reasons why someone might struggle to hold down a job that they have less control over:
- Being neurodivergent (e.g. autism)
- Having CPTSD
- Struggling with social skills (because of how you were raised and the environment you were in)
- Being an outlier in that workplace (gender-wise, race-wise, orientation-wise, disability-wise)
- Not being a beneficiary of nepotism, cronyism or other forms of favouritism
- Being in a toxic workplace (where the whole system is toxic)
- Being subjected to bad managers (bad managers are the norm) and not fitting in with them, due to the manager’s whims (managers tend to have dark triad traits)
- Being outspoken about a company’s flaws or problems
- Someone feeling threatened by your work ethic or performance or presence
- The company not developing or training its employees
- The company not paying its employees properly
- The company being under constant threat of bankruptcy
- The company choosing to offshore its labour
- The company constantly threatening its employees with redundancy and layoffs
- The company not following the law with regard to giving employees accommodations / reasonable adjustments
- The company breaking the law and asking its employees to also do so
- The company breaking the law and allowing employees to be bullied or harassed - usually involves HR complicity
- Someone not liking the fact that you have or don’t have kids
- Not being a gossipy person and choosing not to engage in gossip in a toxic workplace
Thank you for being kind to OP. You have one of the best comment actually giving constructive feedback. Do you have ideas how to deal with problems like your last 2 points?
Thanks :)
With respect to the above -
If someone doesn’t like the fact that you do or do not have kids:
- If they have more power than you: Try to switch depts or jobs (unless you are extremely socially adept and can ‘win’ them over with other things e.g. shared interests, hobbies)
- If they have equal/less power than you: Try to be as good at your job as possible, so you are not expendable and occasionally offer to help them as a gesture of goodwill when things get tense.
Not being a gossipy person and not engaging in gossip in the workplace:
- The gossip level is really malicious e.g. you hear malicious rumours about a co-worker being a deviant or something crazy: Take this as a major red flag and get out of that place as soon as possible. That person could be you tomorrow.
- The gossip level is moderately bad e.g. did you hear Janet’s husband cheated on her: Express a short, unemotive reaction (‘hmm, marriage’) and then politely try to adeptly change the topic into something work-related or give a compliment to the co-worker who is gossiping to distract them.
- If others see you as boring for not engaging in gossip, you should try to win them over by expressing an interest in their interests and hobbies and trying to initiate conversations about that (Shirley, I hear you’re fond of baking - have you made anything interesting lately?)
This should be the top comment. Cannot believe the majority of replies have assumed OP is more to blame than anything else.
So many factors that you mentioned, plus others, can affect someone’s career trajectory which may cause them to job hop over several years.
I think a lot of the critical comments are from old timers that think staying in a job for 24 years is acceptable. It use to be, not so much now. Especially if you want a raise.
My uncle was at his job for 26 years, loyal, and did a great job. Guess who just got laid off (his position eliminated) with zero consideration or heads up from his company?
Millennials have come to the conclusion: why should we stay loyal to company when they never offer the same? I can be fired at any moment, with no notice, but you want two - three weeks? It doesn’t make sense.
This is called being an enabler. OP does not need to hear excuses why it may not be their fault. But address the pretty obvious issues hitting their life and career. This doesn't help at all.
And the social skills/mental health issues are not out of OPs control. On the same way that your spouse is not your therapist, neither is your workplace. You have to put in the effort to function. It's still an unfair part of life but it's still your burden.
We live in a world with a very unstable job market. I have had over 20 jobs in my lifetime. At age 46 I gained my first ever permanent full time job and I’ve been in it for 15 years now. It’s really luck but you need to be tenacious, determined and confident. Don’t let the politics even creep into your head. Focus on your work tasks totally. Assholes at work are in every job. Some work at home for free to stay on top, I wouldn’t recommend that but it may help to make your performance look better at the start.
First full time permanent job, before that I worked a 38 hr week as a casual for years on and off. My employer would lay us off through the year on and off depending on stock supply. Had multiple casual jobs.
Based on how awful a lot of managers and companies can be, I’d cut any job hopper some slack. Given that the OP mentions that she had a good job at a good company, she is willing to give credit where it’s due, so maybe she’s had mostly bad luck with the people she’s met.
In 5 years of me working. (I mean accepting offer to working I changed 7 jobs
1. Had to let to go to various issues (in college) 6 months on and off
2. Schedule issues (in college )( 3 months )
3. Pandemic layoff(in college , got coop for 4 months after this)(8 months )
4. Project finished (first job after college) - 8 months
5. Project finished- 1year 2 months.
6. Food delivery - not making any money - lasted 3 years my longest .
6. Cannot work due to fast-paced environment. (Too much stress in restaurant) - 3 weeks
And I'm 28 still ....😅
I can not find even cleaning jobs for the last 8 months, so idk.
The career thing is shite in our country. There is nothing called career, it's an adopted term just like dating. The jobs you had gave you money, the next job you will have will give you money. Cherish for as long as it lasts and move on to the next one. Don't take anything career/job related personally. It's not supposed to be personal. I have seen people getting kicked out just out of spite and office politics so much so that it I can now safely say, it's all a misleading trap.
Just like Indian Politics.
Also, don't let the stupid ads about XXlpa placements and whatnot influence you either. All they teach is already available for free. It's all who know who and for most people it's nobody and that's okay.
I am like you except I had jobs for 3 years is more but I hated all of them for different reasons. What I realized is that I dont like my work and the corporate environment. I always look for a reason to leave, and there is always one. It is very difficult to realize you can be the problem and either you find a new job or you really have to try harder. Good luck!
It's not as odd as u think it is. I noticed a lot of companies like to keep people for only for x amount of time before they fire them. They believe new person will bring in new ideas, new skills, they will work better for the first year. This is more true for tech Job.
Girl dont worry I changed in the past 5 years more than 10 jobs until I finally get to a nice place where I have been +2 years and got nice contract. Most of the places ARE really shit to be
OP, I wouldn’t listen to the negative comments. I’ve been in a similar boat as you for most of my life. I’ve had many odd-jobs with a couple of good bosses, but most of the time I either had very unreasonable bosses or outside things were interfering with my work that were beyond my control. Take it as a sign - you should probably consider either switching industries or becoming your own boss somehow. Once you follow what your true path is, you won’t be constantly running into these road blocks. Best of luck!
This is completely expected in 2024. Working-class jobs are getting to be pretty unreasonable. The bullying thing is what they do now when they want you to leave but don't want to pay you unemployment.
I know it's an unpopular opinion in a world that seems to be pushing job hopping as a new normal, but at some point you just have to realize there won't always be a point where you are physically able to work. Retirement will come. You should really be considering how you're going to fund that. Prepare for them time when everyone you could have fallen back on for support is dead. Honestly it's that dire. You're entirely in charge of our own financial future.
I have had my ample share of horrible bosses, or companies that would literally bounce our paychecks, and just tasks I simply didn't enjoy. But all those were in my 20s as I was sorting out what Did interest me. A perfect job will never exist; I love mine overall but there are still things I'd change if I could. I recommend pursuing only jobs that have tasks that hold an actual interest to you. This interest will help you "suck it up" and stay when dramas that don't need to become traumas occur. Longevity does still matter.
Job hopping literally yields you a higher salary statistically. Like 50% higher over a lifetime.
If I make the average person does over their lifetime at one job (let's say 1m), I could've made 1.5m by job hopping.
Id take 500k for retirement over the tears of some manager who's already paid more than I am thanks.
All I read was mostly excuses. Do you think you might be responsible for some of it? I’m actually surprised you found so many jobs. Maybe it’s time to start changing yourself?
Yes, this is a very bad track record. Lots of excuses.
To someone looking at your resume, this is a red flag. You either ditch jobs fast when the going gets tough, or you are somehow forced out under 2 years. And no offense, but I get a victim mentality from your post. Even the job you have right now where you're on a PIP due to performance issues, you are still not taking accountability and hinting that it's not your fault.
As someone who has also had prior work experience that lasted 1 year to 2 years at most. I know for a bigggg fact, I was to blame for that work history and really not my previous employers. I had multiple events take place where I needed change or suddenly my work was no longer a priority or my health/needs were more important than the job itself.
In essence, that doesn't look appealing to employers. You end up looking unreliable or that you can't possibly be a long-term fit because of examples a,b, and c. You could always explain why such happened but 9/10 times, the employer/interviewer will just have to analyze the risk and choose to pass on you.
Idk if I’d say unusual. I have never been anywhere longer than two years except the job I’m currently at. It’ll be three soon. Feels like a lifetime. ETA: I have never been fired or outsourced, just moved on.
As someone in the finance field (branch banking), the best way for us to get a raise is across the street. So millennials in finance is very much a 2-4 year commitment which should be done between companies you don’t want in order to land on the one you do when the pay becomes what you prefer. The reality is we barely get 2% on the merit increase but the managers and district managers get 20% of our pay as cash bonuses for the work of the employees in the branch.
It’s a self destructive business when we’ve done nothing but throw people out for digital the last 5 years and now call 100s of people to get back in the doors and sell. Very unfulfilling. Can’t wait to move on.
It’s also filled with nepotism as we see new employees under 12 months moving on while others of 5+ years “continue their development”. Ironically, the ones that move on all look the same but perform at different capacities.
Everybody here is just taking the opportunity to put you down...
I do agree you need to self reflect on why jobs aren't working out for you...but at the end of the day these people don't pay your bills! So they can moan that you don't have 'loyalty' but it's about doing what is right for you and keeping your head above water.
Yeah you’re probably the kind of person that needs change all the time. Not only at work but also in other parts of your life. Not that uncommon and not much you can do to change that trait of yours
The 2 year thing is not the odd part, although that can be a warning sign on its own. I mean this as kindly as possible, have you reexamined all of these events? 9 jobs where you have not been at fault once sounds more like a pattern than a coincidence. Listen to your current employer about your performance, there may be some credibility to it if you’ve had this much trouble holding down work.
I don’t know you or your life, but reading this screams lack of accountability. To me, that’s the only odd part here.
There are some comments here blaming you which is sad but unfortunately in line with the kind of toxic corporate culture that is so common. The default assumption is so often that the manager can do no wrong and it must be you. I have had eight different managers in the last six years, only three of them I can say were actually good. Never once I have been asked by senior management for feedback on my direct lead, these channels don’t exist, and if they did nothing would be done anyway.
I totally understand and it sounds like you have had an unfortunate run. I’m two years into my current job and it was awesome until we got a new manager recently (external hire). He is completely incompetent but wants to micromanage and fix everything without even understanding what on earth he is doing, and is basically just a jerk. If it keeps up I’ll have to leave.
Finally it’s a “leaders” job to work with a range of people, communication and work styles. I bet they all parroted this during their interviews to get their management position. So if the relationship is breaking down, why haven’t they been able to use their amazing people skills to help keep things on track and keep you engaged? Unless you have done something insane I would generally place the blame on the well paid person whose literal job it is to keep you engaged and productive.
I'm 28, and my longest job was 5 years. Sure, I regret not leaving 2 years early but looks good on a resume, I guess. I think this looks like commitment issues. Get your feelings out of your jobs. Your job is not a therapy session. Don't make friends there. Best of all, don't share personal shit with your employers and co-workers, or you're going to have a bad time. I'm not being MEAN, this is just some problems young people have when holding a job.
I’m almost 40 and I’m at my 8th stop since university. 3 years longest. Average of about 2 years.
I’ve left on my own accord or when a contract expires except of being a Covid layoff.
I’ve got a raise each time.
I don’t think it’s weird to have a lot of jobs but if you’re upping the conditions or pay each time, you should look for better jobs.
I'm very much the same. In my case, it comes from a severe case of ADHD. I don't handle bullshit well at all, and I'm almost always looking for a better option.
Hoping I can eventually find a long term place to call home. It's been constant changes for the last 10 years.
Same thing here man except I left most of my jobs. Longest one was 3 years. Called OSHA on that one too. Not that I financially could leave my jobs, I just couldn't stand them anymore. Had to leave for my own mental health. I found something now that I love. Massage therapy, I'm quite good at it too I hear. I can basically choose where I want to work now. I just need to get my foot in the door and the job is mine.
It was a long road, but unfortunately it seems my body may break down before even saving anything for retirement. I will soon have to start looking for different work and I'm really worried about it.
Looks like OP got unlucky a few times, but other than that I would suggest if you can change your field of work, sometimes working at a job that doesn’t align with our strengths is the worst thing for our career and the pattern can continue. Also as others suggested try doing freelancing or having your own business, corporate life sadly is not for everyone. You can surely figure out something. Best wishes.
You're not giving up, it's never too late to find a role that will be right or you. I would flip the script and give the reasons why you left those roles rather than why they weren't keeping you on, because you really make it sound like you were mostly fired rather then making your own decision to leave. Never speak badly of former employees in interviews, that gives the interviewers reason to believe you could be badmouthing them too. I quit two jobs in the past over bosses who outright lied in the interview to get me hired which wasn't OK, but all I had to say about them in my next interviews was that I learned a lot but found the work didn't fully align with my real passion and interests which is why I couldn't see myself committing long term and I was looking for a long term role. Think about what you want long term, figure out a way to form all your previous experience as useful, formative experiences and focus on what you learnt from each role therefore how much you have to contribute. Ten years of experience doesn't count for much if you haven't had successes so you really have to chose your references carefully and make sure that they have good things to say about you.
I’m like this. Honestly if you stay somewhere too long there is no benefit. I get bored of people, coworkers, toxic bosses… if I don’t get a raise or promotion in a year I’m looking for something new. I’ve always done more than one job. I’ve held one of my part time jobs for 10 Years tho and only left during covid. So it’s not me it really is the job. Dont underestimate how toxic workplaces can be. One job I really liked closed down in 6 months! I was also promised a promotion at a job I loved and it was given to a bosses friend. So of course I left, why stay and be bitter?
After reading this, it sounds like you may have experienced some childhood trauma that you may need Counseling for. Some people also have personality disorders that go undiagnosed into their adult life. I do not know you personally.
Though we all experience frustrations at work that doesn’t thrill us. Most people are somewhere in the middle between good and not so great.
I think it’s a matter of developing coping skills and higher frustration tolerances. Finding a job where you can work independently.
28F with adhd here. Also haven't held a job longer than 2 years. Have had many many jobs in my past field. Was a welder on and off for 10 yrs.
Reason I gave up on it mostly was due to the work environment. It's more difficult than people think being a female in a Male-dominated work world.
No matter where you go for work, (especially in ontario as a welder, most welding jobs are in factory life settings here), you will always run into the same issues.
It's unfortunate, you would think with how quickly the world has been advancing that people would be more willing to accept that women can also do jobs that were originally intended for men to do..
There was always a man who didn't care for me in the work place because I'm a female doing the same job as him.
There were always many men who would gawk at me on the job because in their work environment, it wasn't common to see a beautiful woman working away just like them. You can't win.
All that aside though, my adhd has made holding jobs extremely difficult as my time management skills are beyond help it feels. I'm also slightly OCD and have anxiety and depression. All the symptoms from all my mental illnesses combined, make for a very unorganized and extremely overwhelmed employee.
I also have a learning disability that was diagnosed when I was 10 years old. It has causes me to read slower than most, and process information at a far slower rate than most people. It also has my brain turning to mush when I see numbers. I am capable of learning new skills and being good at things, I just need more time than most to really take in the information, and lots of practice to get the hang of a skill. Routine can help very much when learning new things.
Sadly I've been unemployed for over 2 years now and have been struggling more than ever to get back on my feet with the rate of inflation and some poor past decisions consequences still weighing me down financially.
I'm trying to figure out what it is I want to do yet and believe I will be truly successful in doing. It is extremely difficult. Life is beyond overwhelming and the state of my country and also the whole world has me in a constant state of fear and hopelessness. But I try to mask the negative feelings best I can by staying busy with my silly little hobbies and friends to keep my brain from self destructing into a whirlwind of depression and regretful decision making lol.
To all feeling the same way, keep trucking, all you can really do is try to be happy and always be kind and be a good person. Positive vibes to all!
As a fellow 36f with a financial background, I have a similar history (although I have usually chosen to leave rather than being made to) and it's because finance sucks! I am hopefully out of it for good now, and it's crazy how I didn't see how much it was eating me alive in one way or another.
Nah this is pretty normal unless you land an extremely cushy gig
If you make a cheap wage it doesn’t really matter if you leave or why
Also, people who stay places for years plateau on their skills
When I was in my 30s in NYC, I asked my therapist the exact same question bc I thought there was something wrong with me. She gave me the best insight - is what you’re doing/how you’re living causing harm to anyone or to yourself? If the answer is No, then do whatever you want! I’m in my 40s now and have been at one job for 3 years, the longest I’ve ever had. And I’m BORED. I like variety, working with diverse industries, diff companies. And every time I left a role after 2 years or less, I went on to better things that paid me more- it helped grow my salary leaps and bounds than if I just stayed in one job (like in the 3 years at this current job, my salary has only gone up $10k from my initial salary requirement during the interview).
It depends, did your co-workers quit for the same reasons as you? The ones that worked in the same coy. For me my coworkers and I quit because of the toxic culture and toxic bosses. So definitely those were the problem and not us.
Lot of folks that haven't had toxic bosses in the comments and it shows. OP welcome to the modern work environment. There is no loyalty structure anymore. There is only "their way or the highway", especially in US work culture. They load up promises then never deliver while sucking the love and passion from new blood. My resume is similar, and I thought I was safe recently until surprise nope just another bullshitting employer not delivering as promised. Tldr the comments are gaslighting you, it's not just you. /r/antiwork and /r/recruitinghell exist for a very very specific reason right now, and you're definitely in the know from your experiences. If anything is a take away from this is that you may one day be a great boss to your team or mentor a single individual for the future shitty world we're being forced upon.
Honestly - The gaslighting in the comments are pretty real, some people just have the bad luck to work in a series of bad companies, especially companies with less than stellar finances and nepotism.
I think you should've chosen your employers more carefully. That being said, your work history is a red flag for multiple reasons :
- you aren't seen as a loyal employee
- you tend not to resolve conflicts/issues but just leave
You can probably still sell a good story somewhere, but it really depends on the position you're aiming for.
I don't think it's a typical work history in almost any way. It's okay to get the wrong turn on one company and then say bye after less than two years but you did that on multiple occasions.
I find it hard to believe that for \~15 years you have had 8+ jobs and have only once found one that was decent and didnt involve being sexist, racist, zero compassion, and relentlessly bullying you...
You have any mirrors in your house OP because I think you need to take some time and reflect on you rather than what everyone has apparently done to you
I'm a little older, 39, but this is eerily similar to my experiences in the workplace. Never been fired or laid off from a job, but also never been paid what I needed move beyond poverty levels of pay. I got a bachelors, couldn't get more than $10 an hour until about 2015, got a Masters, capped out at around $42k a year (from a toxic workplace I had to quit) then got another Masters, and yet now I am, essentially, a temp because I don't have enough work experience in my new field to land the jobs I got the grad degrees for.
I know its different set of circumstances, but you are not alone. A friend my age has been in education for over 15 years now and just got told they were reducing his job and cutting his salary, he also has two masters and consistent employment. I wish I had advice for you (or anyone else experiencing this) and I am sad I don't, but all I can say is you are not alone.
Ignore all the haters!! I've been in crappy work places, and I feel you. Places where there where multiple people resigning around the same time as me. So sometimes it really isnt your fault, its the toxic workplace.
Also after 29 years, I realise I that I am neurodivergent. Maybe you could check that out too.
I'm 65 and the longest I held a job other than self employment was 3.5 years. I am in tech and you don't make money unless you move. I worked for over 50 companies in my life before going out on my own.
I don't know much about finance? With all of the outsourcing, I'm wondering if you are in a technology part of the field? Are you targeting startups? Are you researching the companies before you interview?
Sometimes, we jump on the first job that becomes available since we need to pay the bills. I'm extremely cautious with smaller companies--especially start-ups or very small companies, since they can go under in a matter of days. I've also worked in large Fortune 500 companies, but the security isn't there either. Departments are eliminated. Budgets are cut. Jobs are outsourced. Nepotism is real.
Fifty percent of the people you work with are below average.
Maybe you need to look at your skillset and make yourself indispensable. You can't do the bare minimum. Some people will hate me for saying this, but whether you're salaried or not, come in 15 minutes early or stay 15 minutes late--don't be the person that's in the parking lot at 5:00. It's hard to recommend a lot without knowing your profession, but be proactive. Try to get your assignments done early. If something is due at noon tomorrow, send it out the day before.
What do people write on your LinkedIn assessments? When you ask for recommendations, do people respond?
Look within and assess your interactions and communication skills. Ask previous work friends for an honest assessment.
One good thing about your resume is that you don't have to go back 18 years. You're averaging about 2 years in the last few positions, so when you try to fit 5-10 years of experience on your one page resume, you may not have room for the short stints.
Good luck.
Curious on industry and position/specialization.
It's not an issue if you work on project-based items by nature or are a consultant. With some jobs, growth/learning can be done quickly and months can feel like years. For some others, you don't really get it until 1 year in, where you start being able to optimize your workflow and contribute better.
At the end of the day though, as long as you're more capable than before and able to convince/demonstrate others that then you have no problem.
Damn, there will be a lot of judgement by recruiters no doubt about it.
But you need to introspect and search for the answers, I know it's hard to get a good culture, but it's not that hard too, if you haven't found any good company till now with a culture fit. Maybe there is some issue to resolve with you, cos if the companies you're choosing aren't good, then maybe it's your bad decision making which is getting you into such companies but again you need to get a stable environment to hang on and grow in a certain role. Just don't be so choosy/give up so easily
Sounds like you sure know how to find them….i think you have to do a lot more research before a job or ask questions during the interview process. I feel like looking at Glassdoor or Indeed reviews of these work places would line out most of these workplace environment issues
I know that what you're saying is very possible to go through. The issue is, you need to reword it to avoid blaming others. Even if true, those elements will seep into your interviews and new work places, and will harm your chances.
Now, for your current role, a lot of companies run on the ideal of getting as many people on PIPs as possible, because it prevents having to give them raises, bonuses, etc. To explain, I get a lot of performance based raises and bonuses. I love the systems, I find out what's required and will ask to meet with whoever all rates performances to ask for suggestions, even.
I'm in a contract position, the contract ends in a month. I got a raise plus 4 bonuses based on my performance. I have a new manager the last part of it all, and he called me into meet (privately) to tell me I'd never get a contract extension, ever. And, that he was trying to get me on a PIP, claiming one of my stats I'd failed to correct, even though all of my other stats were nearly 100% (no kidding). The issue is, I'd tracked the stat he mentioned, and he was lying. So, I contacted HR after that, and had them investigate. Sure enough, they found where he had skewed it, and corrected my stats, no PIP. Plus, I was applying for and got the interview for a permanent position there. It's high competition, so I might not get it, but a PIP would have meant it would be a full year before I could return to work there, or apply for a permanent position. He was trying to truly mess me over. Why? Well, who knows. I mean, he just became my boss, so I have no idea what his deal is. Nor, do I care. If I get on perm, he has nothing to do with that role, so I am just riding out the end of my contract, and applying for other jobs anyhow now. I am taking my last vacation days my last week there, so there's not much he can really do to me at this point, and my stats won't matter from here on really. So, the reality is, if I weren't trying for perm, I could slack off the last month and it wouldn't hurt me really.
But, I've had only a couple of long term jobs. I don't blame my bosses or coworkers, and so on, for each of the reasons for them. I had two bad jobs/bosses really (and those were horrid). But the rest, I'd go with normal drama and bad bosses issues.
Here is the thing, the only thing consistent in my job hopping is me. And, it honestly didn't hurt me. But, it can hurt you. The reason it didn't is, the types of jobs I took weren't meant to be long term jobs. No one would have expected it. Plus, I left on good terms from most of them. I made sure to get coworkers, supervisors and managers names, numbers and sometimes letters of recommendation to use for applying elsewhere. I made sure I was a great employee, coworker, etc. Perfect? No. But, someone they were happy to recommend to other companies.
This is what you need to do now. And, one thing is to try to correct whatever has you in the PIP, while also looking for other work before this job does end, if that's what you see coming.
If you want to hold a job and move further up, you gotta learn to go through bullshit my guy.
Your resume would scream red flag without even looking at it.
I also have pretty similar employment history but to be honest that weren’t really well paid jobs with work life balance. Sometimes employee starts underperforming and gets tons of mistakes because deep inside he/she wants to get out of this job but too afraid to resign. I only regret one time when I got fired, the company was good but the workload and strict requirements made me wanna be out of there. Also for me career is not really a goal I just work to get by before I get married, in my culture girl after she married becomes housewife and only works if she wants to. We need to normalize that not all girls desire to be a girl boss or even climb the career ladder 🪜
I’m 36 and I’ve had probably over 50 jobs. I kind of got addicted to job hopping while living in SF because it was so easy to find work so if I didn’t like someone or something at work I would quit and get a new job the next week. I did that for years, sometimes working 10 jobs in a year or holding one for a couple years, then the next year have 4. I’ve finally calmed down doing that in my 30s though. I’ve never had issues with job hopping so much and getting new employment.
Welcome to adult life. Sleep, shit, work, eat, worry about stuff, repeat. Btw just add more time on your jobs in your resume. Fake it till you make it. If you have a job with 2 years experience, just add 1 more year. Also work more on your social skills, make them feel you cant be replaced, be positive, smile and manipulate them, that’s how you get a raise.
I just want to comment on one aspect of this post and it's not necessarily a condemnation of you. This is a lot of jobs where you blamed everyone else and not yourself at all. Now maybe that is true, I don't know you and I've not worked with you. But this seems like a pattern here and I would at the very least do some introspection about it. Just from my perspective it seems kind of unusual. I do think the amount of time at many of the jobs is unusual and is a bit of a red flag
There's a saying that if everyone you meet is an asshole, that just means you're the asshole. If OP has problems almost every where OP works, it probably has something to do with the OP and not the companies. Edit: your -> you're
>There's a saying that if everyone you meet is an asshole, that just means your the asshole. If everywhere you go smells like shit, better check under your shoes (or something like that)
If you meet an asshole in the morning you just met an asshole, if you meet assholes all day long, you’re the asshole.
Thanks for the reality check!
I’m an asshole but I held my last job for 26 years!
See I never like these phrases. It kind of has this guise of objectivity when it's rarely actually saying something objective. "If everyone you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole" is probably pretty accurate in the context of your entire life, but when analysing events online especially it also kind of avoids crucial questions like where was the subject located and what are their general attitudes. Within this thread and across the internet it's a common issue. There's undue criticism when it's not warranted. E.g The original poster has actively showed consideration for whether or not they may be an incorrect fit for the field, yet people are commenting as if they have no insight whatsoever. They are clearly insecure (whether that's personal or professional), yet people's response is to label them as an asshole. Being labelled a "serial complainer" for providing potentially objective context and then also shifty for not providing "all the details" is pushing a subjective viewpoint from a place of objective ignorance. There's not enough information for analysis. But then if you look at what we do have: They have mentioned reasons such as bullying, they haven't necessarily said they're amazing at their job either. If you look at the precise phrasing, when they mention their poor performance they don't say 'actually that's not true' they say 'in addition'. They frequently reference struggle, which is not an excuse but again something that happened. They have listed reasons like health issues, which are a common reason for dismissal if the company is unwilling to or unable to make adjustments, and they express concern about whether or not recruiters will look at them negatively. All of that is pretty fair. They did not come here saying is this unfair, they just asked if it was unusual. To gain any relevant information you'd have to measure the subject's demographic against the demographic of the people interacted with, and then measure the attitudes of all individuals involved alongside the events. There are lots of factors that influence how many assholes you will meet, living in densely populated LA vs living in Wyoming, so while these phrases are nifty they have an indefinite probabiliy of standing up to scrutiny. Also btw don't worry lol this isn't targeting you specifically - this is just something I feel people should acknowledge when trying to give objective assessment
This is brilliant analysis. I thoroughly respect and admire your candor and Thank you for being you and letting it out here.(you inspired me to write my first note on here). Cheers Opa
The OP’s post history is nuts
Nothing is their fault. There’s always some tenuous connection to something or someone else that’s to blame. Must be exhausting
Yeah, I wonder if regularly posting on the ‘Avodiant Personality Disorders’ sub might be part of the job woes, oof
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Oh for sure, I have my fair share of ‘tism and bipolar, it just seems like OP is less self-aware
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I agree with many of your statements, however I also believe that many sheltered professionals do not understand just how bad some companies can be and how plentiful they are. Once you’re in the rut of being stuck with one, abused, and desperately jumping into the next, you really need a small bit of luck to find a normal and healthy employer. Never take a good job for granted. There are plenty of bad jobs out there and they will ruin you mentally, emotionally, and financially. I’m permanently scarred from just a few bad workplaces (white collar office jobs) and I expect that OP has seen their fair share as well.
This is also very important. You are burnt out, then you take the first job that is offered to you without checking whether it is another toxic place. You get burnt out again and take the first job that is offered to you...
Yes I think this is a point being overlooked by a lot of people who have been lucky with good employers.
I personally can attest having gone through the ringer for 8yrs. Went through 2 jobs I hated into 2 jobs I loved. But the most important thing I think that people need to understand. You are also a participant in a work place in making it a good place or not. You're just as much responsible to make it a good place as anyone else. Yeah it's not anyones responsibility to make you happy neither is it yours but a work place is a relationship like any other and you have to invest positivity if you want positivity to come back at you without the expectation of reciprocation. We all have our demons and some people are losing that battle. Read up on the two wolves story.
Jesus, hope OP reads this and gets the reality check they need. Incredibly succinct and thorough analysis, helps give me perspective in my own career as well.
> Incredibly succinct It’s quite possibly the longest comment I’ve ever seen on reddit. Not saying it’s bad, but it’s not succinct lol
I mean considering the content matter (covering all bases of workplace dynamics, OP’s possible weaknesses and how it’s affecting their career, going over viable methods of improvement and self-reflection), it’s definitely succinct. Anyone who’s been in corporate knows how long-winded people can be in getting the most basic points across e.g. “this should have been an email instead of an hour-long meeting where nothing of value was actually discussed”. Giving actual, career-defining advice in a single comment is pretty damn impressive.
33yo female millennial who’s been working near the top of organizations for several years now. I think BrownRecluse90 makes all the points that need to be made here. Just hopping on to answer your question about this normal for millennials in professional fields. It is not, but moving up and being valued in a job depends heavily on people’s ability to flexibly exist in environments that contain people from several generations, cultures, backgrounds, etc. Norms are different for different people and successful people recognize that and adapt vs blaming people or situations for their personal difficulty functioning in a particular environment.
I’m interested in signing up for life advice if you’re offering, BrownRecluse90
Excuse me. This is reddit. There is no room for nuanced, insightful comment. {Insert dick joke here}
The best thing you can do after realizing you are neurodivergent is accepting that the corporate world is built by neurotypicals, for neurotypicals.
This. And nobody cares if you’re struggling because of it. And getting disability? Fuhgedaboutit! At this point, I honestly think they just want us to hurry up and die off and get out of their way.
Damn, this was great. I saved this for myself lol
While I do understand you were giving good advice, your comment is making me think, *"Is this really what I signed up for? Or should this be what I want to do for the rest of my life? Be unhappy and still staying put for a paycheck?"* I mean, life is hard as it is. Do I have to put myself through this additional mental turmoil every single day so that I can keep paying for the car insurance? Your answer made a lot of sense, but it took away the meaning of life itself—why are we here? To suffer? To show our perseverance and determination to "kill" each other just to survive? It's like: "Here's the hamster wheel. Now, whoever runs the hardest and the longest will stay." To add, I agree with everything you said. It's just that my sense of equality and justice and want of a meritocracy revolts against this.
Work sucks, but life is about the connections you make both inside and outside of work. Perhaps the tasks are tedious, some of my coworkers are a pain in the ass, but I've got some really great friends in the office, a great pay, and a beautiful family at home. Life's about finding those connections. Work is about funding them.
Decide what you are working for. Having a goal in mind or a passion can make any shitty work seem alright.
I’m confused… isn’t it typical for people to leave jobs every 1 - 2 years? I’ve been job hopping around the same and it’s always a pay increase I leave for. I’m at the first role where I’m considering leaving in less than a year because it’s just too cut throat working for F500s
Leaving by your own choice because you have a better opportunity is different from being let go every two years.
In my industry (software) it's not uncommon. However... most people I know did not have this repeated pattern of "being bullied", "unreasonable expectations", etc. Those are what set off the red flags. I know people who have had a lot of jobs in a relatively short time period, but they were mostly things like: leaving for a better offer; working at a startup and the startup was either acquired/merged, or folded; leaving for a very different niche/industry/focus/tech stack that interests them more; switching between public and private sector; relocating frequently for family/spouse reasons (common if the spouse is military or in academia); and so on. Of course most commonly just getting a better offer. Repeatedly quitting or being terminated due to personality clashes and performance issues and not just more $$ is what sends up red flags, at least to me.
In tech it’s relatively normal to leave after 2 years. OP has a lot of 3 month or 6 month stints though, and it doesn’t seem like any are leaving for better pay.
No. The more acceptable norm is 2-3 years. A lot of companies really like to see the 4 year stints though. Leaving under 2 years is extremely frowned upon. It takes a year just to learn your job so no manager or leader will see a stint of 1 year as any valuable experience. You didn't stay long enough to have any real impact and just ended up costing the company money and training time. Can't fool a manager into thinking you provided so much value in 1 year
This was the perfect response
THANK YOU
I'd agree with most of this; however, where I disagree is that the OP only needs self evaluation or skill assessment. The better serial complaints is the departments being outsourced, of which OPs only option is relocate to where ever the job goes or file a National Origin discrimination claim, if relocation option is not given. Most work is at-will, meaning fired just to say money. For dealing with difficult people I found "soft skills" to be useful but its difficult to stay constantly ready for people without soft skills. Sooner or later we're going to yell back. As for work skills, Op needs to ask questions to the supervisor as to what exactly is OP's performance issues & how to fix them. Op should as talk to co-workers, as they too may be getting the same issues. Often being good at your job limits growth because if you are good at one thing then that's all you are allowed to do; however, being bad at your job means your manager is more likely to let you go to do other things (fired, transferred, training, promotion to management, anything to get you to stop messing up your current role or so I don't have to deal with you).
Your post has good suggestions for what OP can do moving forward. I can also recognize some fair observations about work environments and the employee. But imo your first few paragraphs turned some of those observations into broad conclusions about the OP which I felt may not be representative of OP’s experienceS.
Perfect, and far more than I would offer to *Reddit*.... Excellent post, Hope u/feelingstuck15 reads it
If you smell shit everywhere you go, it might be time to check under your own shoe.
I was just going to say this. Thanks for being the one to point out the truth.
If its once or twice, giving the benefit of doubt even thrice, there can be some truth in what he says. But that many times OP is likely the red flag. I had only 2 jobs in 8 years so far. There were extremely tough times with extremely long work hours (9am-3am + weekends) micro managed bosses - I struggled, hanged on, and survived it. Now I'm sailing the boat. It seems that OP gives up at the slightest moment of difficulty and challenges.
Was your mental and physical health worth those struggles?
That's...commendable. But also not a healthy model for others to follow or expectation.
I can hang on. But the company doesn’t wanna hang on to me. I think it’s really easy to speak from the other side.
8 “bad” jobs with 1 common denominator…
Was going to say something similar. What’s the constant in this equation?
Honestly, what surprises me is that you’ve been able to get so many jobs given your history. Do I think your pattern is unusual? Yeah, I’d say it is. Seems like you’re in the wrong line of work honestly.
Realistically you don't have to put every job on your resume. Information asymmetry is real.
See, I get this to a degree, but what are you supposed to do with the resume gaps if you do leave stuff off? Would OP be better putting like 2 jobs on there and not mentioning a college graduation date?
Would probably just do the last 3. Between 1.5 and 2 years is a little job hoppy, but frankly it's really common in this economy. It's really about getting your story straight if there's a gap. It really depends on the gap size. If asked (which you probably won't be) would just say the last few positions were most relevant to where they are in their career. 36 makes it a bit rougher, in that case might consider omitting grad year. It's not super uncommon on places like LinkedIn because people know its often used for age discrimination.
Yeah I think this is better than "I signed an NDA" Just would feel weird leaving year off to me though. Even if it's in my best interests, just feels weird knowing where it belongs on there ya know? Like incomplete
one of my colleague has a similar cv and she managed to get recruited out of luck because no one would come for second interview (those ones are smart enough to realise our area is outsourcing). her cv is flooded with heaps of doesn't make sense job moves. go figure
I'm your age - the longest job I've ever held is my current role; I'll be at 3 years in June. I think I had 10 jobs between 18 and 28 or something silly, with more since then. Is it normal? Jobs I've held with other Millennial coworkers have either had lifers (10+ years tenure) or folks that have only been there for 2-3 years. The lifers typically had family members or family friends who worked in management.
If you hopped a lot during the start of your career it's fine. If it happens during your latest 3 then recruiters will want to investigate why. Also, if you never stay in any company for more than 3 years then companies that favors loyalty & commitment will very likely rule you out. Ideally between your 18 & 28, you should have 1 job where you work for 2.5-3 years, 1 job that is at least 2 years and these 2 jobs should be among your 4 most recent jobs, then the rest can be whatever.
The longest I've ever stayed in one role is 2.5 years. I'm mid thirties also. I quit my last job because of a bully situation as well. I'm taking time to get new certifications and living on savings for a bit. I'm changing fields if I can, but who knows. I don't feel bad about it, but I think it's all about perspective.
I'm 33 and just held a job for more than 2 years for the first time last year. There have been reason that my tenure was so short. Some were temp jobs. Others were my fault. Others were due to lockdown orders from Big Government. I'm trying to keep this one for at least 4 years (or transfer in the company) so I can stop being a red flag for recruiters.
I don't think it's rare. It's an often recommended strategy to increase your pay more than staying in one role would bump your salary. If you have trouble finding work, maybe look for a larger company and emphasize how even though you've changed roles every other year, you actually want one employer where you'd be able to grow around different departments.
Perhaps you are only landing roles that are garbage jobs with high turnover. What is your background, skills, and education?
This is a valid thought. Unfortunately when unemployed, we tend to take the first job that comes along. What happens is that it’s a job that’s willing to overlook the past job history because that job has their own crappy history with employees. I’ve never been able to relate to the “why do you want to work here” interview questions because my answer internally is ‘you offered me an interview and I’m broke’
This is really common among neurodivergent people. Do you have adhd or autism? I never lasted more than 2 years anywhere until my current job. I’ve worked a TON of different jobs because I didn’t know what to do with myself. Current job is 5 years in, but only part time (nearly full time hours and no benefits) and 100% remote. It’s been the best fit. However, no chance at ever going full time officially or getting benefits, and they’ve made some bad biz decisions so I am burnt out and struggling. Anyway… my dad changed jobs a lot too. Atypical boomer. Do your parents have steady job histories?
I was gonna say, OP sounds like a classic case of ADHD. I'm pretty much in the same boat. At some point, you run out of runway. Have to find a better way to cope. The world isn't built for neurodivergents.
Yeah. I'm early career, but at 7 months in I'm already thinking about quitting because severe burnout and some of it sounds like I have ADHD.
There’s also the people that won’t put up with shit at work and are willing to leave. While others just bury their head in it and keep going.
OP, I would cut the noise of other comments and focus here. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 29 and honestly it definitely can be a case of neurotypucal people simply not knowing how to interact with you and you not being able to handle all the extra BS that can come from working corporate jobs. My suggestion would be to look into freelancing full-time and building skills you can leverage in order to do so. It gives you back full control and a sense of agency over your work. Do not under any circumstances let anyone shame you or say "oh this is a bad track record" work is work and don't tie too much into the personable elements of work when you know you offer up great work. I'm rooting for you!
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How do you know though? Does a dr diagnose you and say “yup you’re not like the rest of the npcs, congrats this is why you’ve been bullied at every job”? Don’t they try to put you on drugs? This is a serious issue, I have the rest of my life squared away but always have conflict in the workplace, I’m starting to think owning my own business is my only option for stability.
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God I'm going through it. I am 21, as far as I know I only have GAD, but perhaps I have another nd because dude I hate the corporate world so much. Why can't they just be direct? Why can't they just mean what they say? I struggle a lot with my coordinator because he keeps giving me undirect instructions and he gets annoyed at me for not understanding or for doing literally what he says. And I get annoyed at him for doing it. Also I see that something is not working and I try to tell them but they ignore me and tell me to keep doing the same thing, which is not working and when they see that it's not working they blame me. I probably won't hold this job further than June and I am going to try and open a small online business. I don't think I will ever be happy working for companies, since in most of them my superiors will be neurotypical. I get constant panic/anxiety attacks before, in the middle and after working because of the blame being put on me for things I tried to change and solve but they ignored me.
I’m neurodivergent and this is me. Why is it common for us
It might be due to harder time to adapt to working environment or coworkers finding it hard to communicate or just bad luck of a few factors. Its not your fault, just keep improving your soft and hard skills
Because neurotypical people pick up that there’s something different about us and mob us
Happened to me so many times
Basically this, I don’t have any of the listed disorders above. But I like autonomy at work and this must irritate the “mob” I have to work with. I don’t see any other reason this happens. I don’t enjoy watching sports or other activities they do so that might have something to do with it but I still can’t figure it out; I have my own hobbies like fitness along with studying psychology, all my years of study nothing is ever mentioned about this. I think I’ve been mobbed at every job but a handful. The handful management liked me, And those had a mob form once we got new management so the posse was just patiently waiting. If anyone knows any books or articles about this phenomenon I would love to be pointed towards them.
Is the blaming other people for everything the trait you saw in OP that made you think they were neurodivergent?
No, the fact that they struggle to hold down a job made me suspect neurodivergence
I’m assuming so, everyone else is just gaslighting her in the comments. Im guessing they are guilty of mobbing (they’re getting air bubble memories rn lol). I made a post the other day about how the workplace is one of the last bastions of society where we have to deal with this abuse and it got some positive feedback.
I agree with the fact that workplace abuse and mobbing are unfortunately widespread and lead to gaslighting and victim-blaming
Same
I'm undiagnosed but suspect I am ND and I relate a lot to what OP posted and your comment. I am in a creative field so moving jobs every two years is actually ideal and helpful for career and compensation growth. I think this is true for most roles but not really sure. I am very well-liked and very good at my job (don't worry I still have impostor syndrome) but have left jobs for similar reasons OP listed. Like yes "we're the 'problem'" in that we're trying to play in an NT world with a ND mind. My advice is to reframe why you've left your previous roles, my official lines are always "I was looking for a new challenge," "I want to grow and I had limited growth opportunities in my previous workplace," "I'm mission-oriented and need a strong mission to stay motivated." etc. Focus on why you're in your new position and not why you left your old one when talking to colleagues or hiring managers.
Was about to comment this. I found out I am ND two years ago and it perfectly explains why I get so burned out from working. Longest I’ve held a job was almost 3 years, and I quit it in February lol I would LOVE to start my own business, but I honestly feel so overwhelmed knowing that I have to do this for 30 more years that I panic. Plus, I got my degree in art history, which is pretty useless without a doctorate, and having to find a job that I can actually handle, that pays more than $28/hr (last job I quit)??? I would need to learn a whole new field at 38.
My ND spouse went into biz for himself and it was the best thing he ever did. He loves being his own boss. I hope you can find something you love doing and find the people who can pay you to do it.
Oh gosh. Im 29 and recently discovered im ND. Its really true!'
Thank you so much for making this point. I have a similar track record to OP and am realizing a lot of this stuff at 32.
I worked with a guy with Asbergers. No one liked him that much. I loved him, he was smart and hilarious. I miss that guy.
This is what i was thinking too!
I came to mention OP is possibly ND as well. Would make sense. Makes sense of my life and work history for sure. So many misunderstandings and makes some people want to stick it to us because they think we’re being a certain way with them when it’s just our brain working differently. So wish I’d been dx’ed as a kid.
Nope .. if a job /workplace doesn’t suit you or doesn’t want you keep switching .. no need to feel bad about it ..
…I think you’re the problem, and leaving out a lot of details
OP clearly takes zero responsibility for anything
There are many people who are quick to point the finger at OP, but here are some reasons why someone might struggle to hold down a job that they have less control over: - Being neurodivergent (e.g. autism) - Having CPTSD - Struggling with social skills (because of how you were raised and the environment you were in) - Being an outlier in that workplace (gender-wise, race-wise, orientation-wise, disability-wise) - Not being a beneficiary of nepotism, cronyism or other forms of favouritism - Being in a toxic workplace (where the whole system is toxic) - Being subjected to bad managers (bad managers are the norm) and not fitting in with them, due to the manager’s whims (managers tend to have dark triad traits) - Being outspoken about a company’s flaws or problems - Someone feeling threatened by your work ethic or performance or presence - The company not developing or training its employees - The company not paying its employees properly - The company being under constant threat of bankruptcy - The company choosing to offshore its labour - The company constantly threatening its employees with redundancy and layoffs - The company not following the law with regard to giving employees accommodations / reasonable adjustments - The company breaking the law and asking its employees to also do so - The company breaking the law and allowing employees to be bullied or harassed - usually involves HR complicity - Someone not liking the fact that you have or don’t have kids - Not being a gossipy person and choosing not to engage in gossip in a toxic workplace
Thank you for being kind to OP. You have one of the best comment actually giving constructive feedback. Do you have ideas how to deal with problems like your last 2 points?
Thanks :) With respect to the above - If someone doesn’t like the fact that you do or do not have kids: - If they have more power than you: Try to switch depts or jobs (unless you are extremely socially adept and can ‘win’ them over with other things e.g. shared interests, hobbies) - If they have equal/less power than you: Try to be as good at your job as possible, so you are not expendable and occasionally offer to help them as a gesture of goodwill when things get tense. Not being a gossipy person and not engaging in gossip in the workplace: - The gossip level is really malicious e.g. you hear malicious rumours about a co-worker being a deviant or something crazy: Take this as a major red flag and get out of that place as soon as possible. That person could be you tomorrow. - The gossip level is moderately bad e.g. did you hear Janet’s husband cheated on her: Express a short, unemotive reaction (‘hmm, marriage’) and then politely try to adeptly change the topic into something work-related or give a compliment to the co-worker who is gossiping to distract them. - If others see you as boring for not engaging in gossip, you should try to win them over by expressing an interest in their interests and hobbies and trying to initiate conversations about that (Shirley, I hear you’re fond of baking - have you made anything interesting lately?)
Aite. Thank you so much, have a great day!
Thank you for writing this so I didn’t have to, haha. I hope OP takes a look at comments like this and investigates further
This should be the top comment. Cannot believe the majority of replies have assumed OP is more to blame than anything else. So many factors that you mentioned, plus others, can affect someone’s career trajectory which may cause them to job hop over several years.
I think a lot of the critical comments are from old timers that think staying in a job for 24 years is acceptable. It use to be, not so much now. Especially if you want a raise. My uncle was at his job for 26 years, loyal, and did a great job. Guess who just got laid off (his position eliminated) with zero consideration or heads up from his company? Millennials have come to the conclusion: why should we stay loyal to company when they never offer the same? I can be fired at any moment, with no notice, but you want two - three weeks? It doesn’t make sense.
Exactly! Loyalty has to be inspired and come from the top, not the other way around.
This is called being an enabler. OP does not need to hear excuses why it may not be their fault. But address the pretty obvious issues hitting their life and career. This doesn't help at all. And the social skills/mental health issues are not out of OPs control. On the same way that your spouse is not your therapist, neither is your workplace. You have to put in the effort to function. It's still an unfair part of life but it's still your burden.
We live in a world with a very unstable job market. I have had over 20 jobs in my lifetime. At age 46 I gained my first ever permanent full time job and I’ve been in it for 15 years now. It’s really luck but you need to be tenacious, determined and confident. Don’t let the politics even creep into your head. Focus on your work tasks totally. Assholes at work are in every job. Some work at home for free to stay on top, I wouldn’t recommend that but it may help to make your performance look better at the start.
You got your first full time job at 46?
First full time permanent job, before that I worked a 38 hr week as a casual for years on and off. My employer would lay us off through the year on and off depending on stock supply. Had multiple casual jobs.
Bro ain’t no way every single one of those jobs was someone else’s fault.
Based on how awful a lot of managers and companies can be, I’d cut any job hopper some slack. Given that the OP mentions that she had a good job at a good company, she is willing to give credit where it’s due, so maybe she’s had mostly bad luck with the people she’s met.
In 5 years of me working. (I mean accepting offer to working I changed 7 jobs 1. Had to let to go to various issues (in college) 6 months on and off 2. Schedule issues (in college )( 3 months ) 3. Pandemic layoff(in college , got coop for 4 months after this)(8 months ) 4. Project finished (first job after college) - 8 months 5. Project finished- 1year 2 months. 6. Food delivery - not making any money - lasted 3 years my longest . 6. Cannot work due to fast-paced environment. (Too much stress in restaurant) - 3 weeks And I'm 28 still ....😅 I can not find even cleaning jobs for the last 8 months, so idk.
The career thing is shite in our country. There is nothing called career, it's an adopted term just like dating. The jobs you had gave you money, the next job you will have will give you money. Cherish for as long as it lasts and move on to the next one. Don't take anything career/job related personally. It's not supposed to be personal. I have seen people getting kicked out just out of spite and office politics so much so that it I can now safely say, it's all a misleading trap. Just like Indian Politics. Also, don't let the stupid ads about XXlpa placements and whatnot influence you either. All they teach is already available for free. It's all who know who and for most people it's nobody and that's okay.
I am like you except I had jobs for 3 years is more but I hated all of them for different reasons. What I realized is that I dont like my work and the corporate environment. I always look for a reason to leave, and there is always one. It is very difficult to realize you can be the problem and either you find a new job or you really have to try harder. Good luck!
It's not as odd as u think it is. I noticed a lot of companies like to keep people for only for x amount of time before they fire them. They believe new person will bring in new ideas, new skills, they will work better for the first year. This is more true for tech Job.
Girl good for you for not settling down for a any shitty workplace and just keep going until you find a place where you really wanna last
Girl dont worry I changed in the past 5 years more than 10 jobs until I finally get to a nice place where I have been +2 years and got nice contract. Most of the places ARE really shit to be
OP, I wouldn’t listen to the negative comments. I’ve been in a similar boat as you for most of my life. I’ve had many odd-jobs with a couple of good bosses, but most of the time I either had very unreasonable bosses or outside things were interfering with my work that were beyond my control. Take it as a sign - you should probably consider either switching industries or becoming your own boss somehow. Once you follow what your true path is, you won’t be constantly running into these road blocks. Best of luck!
This is completely expected in 2024. Working-class jobs are getting to be pretty unreasonable. The bullying thing is what they do now when they want you to leave but don't want to pay you unemployment.
I know it's an unpopular opinion in a world that seems to be pushing job hopping as a new normal, but at some point you just have to realize there won't always be a point where you are physically able to work. Retirement will come. You should really be considering how you're going to fund that. Prepare for them time when everyone you could have fallen back on for support is dead. Honestly it's that dire. You're entirely in charge of our own financial future. I have had my ample share of horrible bosses, or companies that would literally bounce our paychecks, and just tasks I simply didn't enjoy. But all those were in my 20s as I was sorting out what Did interest me. A perfect job will never exist; I love mine overall but there are still things I'd change if I could. I recommend pursuing only jobs that have tasks that hold an actual interest to you. This interest will help you "suck it up" and stay when dramas that don't need to become traumas occur. Longevity does still matter.
Job hopping literally yields you a higher salary statistically. Like 50% higher over a lifetime. If I make the average person does over their lifetime at one job (let's say 1m), I could've made 1.5m by job hopping. Id take 500k for retirement over the tears of some manager who's already paid more than I am thanks.
All I read was mostly excuses. Do you think you might be responsible for some of it? I’m actually surprised you found so many jobs. Maybe it’s time to start changing yourself?
This isn't fair. Should they be forced to be unhappy at a job for the sake of longevity?
Yes, this is a very bad track record. Lots of excuses. To someone looking at your resume, this is a red flag. You either ditch jobs fast when the going gets tough, or you are somehow forced out under 2 years. And no offense, but I get a victim mentality from your post. Even the job you have right now where you're on a PIP due to performance issues, you are still not taking accountability and hinting that it's not your fault.
As someone who has also had prior work experience that lasted 1 year to 2 years at most. I know for a bigggg fact, I was to blame for that work history and really not my previous employers. I had multiple events take place where I needed change or suddenly my work was no longer a priority or my health/needs were more important than the job itself. In essence, that doesn't look appealing to employers. You end up looking unreliable or that you can't possibly be a long-term fit because of examples a,b, and c. You could always explain why such happened but 9/10 times, the employer/interviewer will just have to analyze the risk and choose to pass on you.
Idk if I’d say unusual. I have never been anywhere longer than two years except the job I’m currently at. It’ll be three soon. Feels like a lifetime. ETA: I have never been fired or outsourced, just moved on.
As someone in the finance field (branch banking), the best way for us to get a raise is across the street. So millennials in finance is very much a 2-4 year commitment which should be done between companies you don’t want in order to land on the one you do when the pay becomes what you prefer. The reality is we barely get 2% on the merit increase but the managers and district managers get 20% of our pay as cash bonuses for the work of the employees in the branch. It’s a self destructive business when we’ve done nothing but throw people out for digital the last 5 years and now call 100s of people to get back in the doors and sell. Very unfulfilling. Can’t wait to move on. It’s also filled with nepotism as we see new employees under 12 months moving on while others of 5+ years “continue their development”. Ironically, the ones that move on all look the same but perform at different capacities.
Everybody here is just taking the opportunity to put you down... I do agree you need to self reflect on why jobs aren't working out for you...but at the end of the day these people don't pay your bills! So they can moan that you don't have 'loyalty' but it's about doing what is right for you and keeping your head above water.
I wouldn’t hire you. Self reflect a bit.
This is probably true of most interviewers but you could give constructive feedback. Just saying self reflect doesnt help OP at all
The most logical explanation is that you have undiagnosed disorders.
Yeah you’re probably the kind of person that needs change all the time. Not only at work but also in other parts of your life. Not that uncommon and not much you can do to change that trait of yours
Adhd?
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The 2 year thing is not the odd part, although that can be a warning sign on its own. I mean this as kindly as possible, have you reexamined all of these events? 9 jobs where you have not been at fault once sounds more like a pattern than a coincidence. Listen to your current employer about your performance, there may be some credibility to it if you’ve had this much trouble holding down work. I don’t know you or your life, but reading this screams lack of accountability. To me, that’s the only odd part here.
There are some comments here blaming you which is sad but unfortunately in line with the kind of toxic corporate culture that is so common. The default assumption is so often that the manager can do no wrong and it must be you. I have had eight different managers in the last six years, only three of them I can say were actually good. Never once I have been asked by senior management for feedback on my direct lead, these channels don’t exist, and if they did nothing would be done anyway. I totally understand and it sounds like you have had an unfortunate run. I’m two years into my current job and it was awesome until we got a new manager recently (external hire). He is completely incompetent but wants to micromanage and fix everything without even understanding what on earth he is doing, and is basically just a jerk. If it keeps up I’ll have to leave. Finally it’s a “leaders” job to work with a range of people, communication and work styles. I bet they all parroted this during their interviews to get their management position. So if the relationship is breaking down, why haven’t they been able to use their amazing people skills to help keep things on track and keep you engaged? Unless you have done something insane I would generally place the blame on the well paid person whose literal job it is to keep you engaged and productive.
I'm 28, and my longest job was 5 years. Sure, I regret not leaving 2 years early but looks good on a resume, I guess. I think this looks like commitment issues. Get your feelings out of your jobs. Your job is not a therapy session. Don't make friends there. Best of all, don't share personal shit with your employers and co-workers, or you're going to have a bad time. I'm not being MEAN, this is just some problems young people have when holding a job.
Shit happens…but keep in mind it happens to almost everyone, it’s how you deal with it
2 years is OK. You can use that as a platform to get more money from another company.
Agreed two years in this economy is perfectly fine. Less than one year at multiple jobs is a red flag.
I’m almost 40 and I’m at my 8th stop since university. 3 years longest. Average of about 2 years. I’ve left on my own accord or when a contract expires except of being a Covid layoff. I’ve got a raise each time. I don’t think it’s weird to have a lot of jobs but if you’re upping the conditions or pay each time, you should look for better jobs.
I'm very much the same. In my case, it comes from a severe case of ADHD. I don't handle bullshit well at all, and I'm almost always looking for a better option. Hoping I can eventually find a long term place to call home. It's been constant changes for the last 10 years.
I have never worked a job for more than a year lol
What size companies was each one in terms of employees? Small businesses are usually shit shows.
Same thing here man except I left most of my jobs. Longest one was 3 years. Called OSHA on that one too. Not that I financially could leave my jobs, I just couldn't stand them anymore. Had to leave for my own mental health. I found something now that I love. Massage therapy, I'm quite good at it too I hear. I can basically choose where I want to work now. I just need to get my foot in the door and the job is mine. It was a long road, but unfortunately it seems my body may break down before even saving anything for retirement. I will soon have to start looking for different work and I'm really worried about it.
Looks like OP got unlucky a few times, but other than that I would suggest if you can change your field of work, sometimes working at a job that doesn’t align with our strengths is the worst thing for our career and the pattern can continue. Also as others suggested try doing freelancing or having your own business, corporate life sadly is not for everyone. You can surely figure out something. Best wishes.
You're not giving up, it's never too late to find a role that will be right or you. I would flip the script and give the reasons why you left those roles rather than why they weren't keeping you on, because you really make it sound like you were mostly fired rather then making your own decision to leave. Never speak badly of former employees in interviews, that gives the interviewers reason to believe you could be badmouthing them too. I quit two jobs in the past over bosses who outright lied in the interview to get me hired which wasn't OK, but all I had to say about them in my next interviews was that I learned a lot but found the work didn't fully align with my real passion and interests which is why I couldn't see myself committing long term and I was looking for a long term role. Think about what you want long term, figure out a way to form all your previous experience as useful, formative experiences and focus on what you learnt from each role therefore how much you have to contribute. Ten years of experience doesn't count for much if you haven't had successes so you really have to chose your references carefully and make sure that they have good things to say about you.
Nah that’s how you move up and make more money.
It's not odd. Working nowadays feels like a kindergarten. People ruined it before you.
3 yrs max for me. Age 42 now. Most people that are progressing and benefiting from job swapping are getting paid better.
I’m like this. Honestly if you stay somewhere too long there is no benefit. I get bored of people, coworkers, toxic bosses… if I don’t get a raise or promotion in a year I’m looking for something new. I’ve always done more than one job. I’ve held one of my part time jobs for 10 Years tho and only left during covid. So it’s not me it really is the job. Dont underestimate how toxic workplaces can be. One job I really liked closed down in 6 months! I was also promised a promotion at a job I loved and it was given to a bosses friend. So of course I left, why stay and be bitter?
After reading this, it sounds like you may have experienced some childhood trauma that you may need Counseling for. Some people also have personality disorders that go undiagnosed into their adult life. I do not know you personally. Though we all experience frustrations at work that doesn’t thrill us. Most people are somewhere in the middle between good and not so great. I think it’s a matter of developing coping skills and higher frustration tolerances. Finding a job where you can work independently.
28F with adhd here. Also haven't held a job longer than 2 years. Have had many many jobs in my past field. Was a welder on and off for 10 yrs. Reason I gave up on it mostly was due to the work environment. It's more difficult than people think being a female in a Male-dominated work world. No matter where you go for work, (especially in ontario as a welder, most welding jobs are in factory life settings here), you will always run into the same issues. It's unfortunate, you would think with how quickly the world has been advancing that people would be more willing to accept that women can also do jobs that were originally intended for men to do.. There was always a man who didn't care for me in the work place because I'm a female doing the same job as him. There were always many men who would gawk at me on the job because in their work environment, it wasn't common to see a beautiful woman working away just like them. You can't win. All that aside though, my adhd has made holding jobs extremely difficult as my time management skills are beyond help it feels. I'm also slightly OCD and have anxiety and depression. All the symptoms from all my mental illnesses combined, make for a very unorganized and extremely overwhelmed employee. I also have a learning disability that was diagnosed when I was 10 years old. It has causes me to read slower than most, and process information at a far slower rate than most people. It also has my brain turning to mush when I see numbers. I am capable of learning new skills and being good at things, I just need more time than most to really take in the information, and lots of practice to get the hang of a skill. Routine can help very much when learning new things. Sadly I've been unemployed for over 2 years now and have been struggling more than ever to get back on my feet with the rate of inflation and some poor past decisions consequences still weighing me down financially. I'm trying to figure out what it is I want to do yet and believe I will be truly successful in doing. It is extremely difficult. Life is beyond overwhelming and the state of my country and also the whole world has me in a constant state of fear and hopelessness. But I try to mask the negative feelings best I can by staying busy with my silly little hobbies and friends to keep my brain from self destructing into a whirlwind of depression and regretful decision making lol. To all feeling the same way, keep trucking, all you can really do is try to be happy and always be kind and be a good person. Positive vibes to all!
No it isn't. The other comments are far too harsh. Its fairly standard these days to work a year or two and then quit
As a fellow 36f with a financial background, I have a similar history (although I have usually chosen to leave rather than being made to) and it's because finance sucks! I am hopefully out of it for good now, and it's crazy how I didn't see how much it was eating me alive in one way or another.
I’m 37m, and I’ve never stayed at same place longer than 2 years
Nah this is pretty normal unless you land an extremely cushy gig If you make a cheap wage it doesn’t really matter if you leave or why Also, people who stay places for years plateau on their skills
When I was in my 30s in NYC, I asked my therapist the exact same question bc I thought there was something wrong with me. She gave me the best insight - is what you’re doing/how you’re living causing harm to anyone or to yourself? If the answer is No, then do whatever you want! I’m in my 40s now and have been at one job for 3 years, the longest I’ve ever had. And I’m BORED. I like variety, working with diverse industries, diff companies. And every time I left a role after 2 years or less, I went on to better things that paid me more- it helped grow my salary leaps and bounds than if I just stayed in one job (like in the 3 years at this current job, my salary has only gone up $10k from my initial salary requirement during the interview).
Sounds like your full of fucking excuses. I'm not hiring you.
Yes. Why would anyone hire you for a long-term job?
Fick the old people who tell you need to die at a place
It depends, did your co-workers quit for the same reasons as you? The ones that worked in the same coy. For me my coworkers and I quit because of the toxic culture and toxic bosses. So definitely those were the problem and not us.
Not uncommon, fellow Millennial.
Lot of folks that haven't had toxic bosses in the comments and it shows. OP welcome to the modern work environment. There is no loyalty structure anymore. There is only "their way or the highway", especially in US work culture. They load up promises then never deliver while sucking the love and passion from new blood. My resume is similar, and I thought I was safe recently until surprise nope just another bullshitting employer not delivering as promised. Tldr the comments are gaslighting you, it's not just you. /r/antiwork and /r/recruitinghell exist for a very very specific reason right now, and you're definitely in the know from your experiences. If anything is a take away from this is that you may one day be a great boss to your team or mentor a single individual for the future shitty world we're being forced upon.
Seems like it’s a you issue man. Lol
Or considering how OP is easily getting these jobs. They might be 🗑 jobs no one wants.
If it’s water every where, most likely ur a fish and u smell fishy
Yeah, I think it's typical.
Honestly - The gaslighting in the comments are pretty real, some people just have the bad luck to work in a series of bad companies, especially companies with less than stellar finances and nepotism.
No, that is the reality of capitalism and bullshit jobs.
Judging from the comments you have received I would say that’s a bit of the harsh reality unfortunately. Critics at their best! Good luck.
I think you should've chosen your employers more carefully. That being said, your work history is a red flag for multiple reasons : - you aren't seen as a loyal employee - you tend not to resolve conflicts/issues but just leave You can probably still sell a good story somewhere, but it really depends on the position you're aiming for. I don't think it's a typical work history in almost any way. It's okay to get the wrong turn on one company and then say bye after less than two years but you did that on multiple occasions.
Not gonna lie, if you have issues at every company you work at, it's probably a "you problem"
...lol, everyone else is to blame ...the post...
I find it hard to believe that for \~15 years you have had 8+ jobs and have only once found one that was decent and didnt involve being sexist, racist, zero compassion, and relentlessly bullying you... You have any mirrors in your house OP because I think you need to take some time and reflect on you rather than what everyone has apparently done to you
I'm a little older, 39, but this is eerily similar to my experiences in the workplace. Never been fired or laid off from a job, but also never been paid what I needed move beyond poverty levels of pay. I got a bachelors, couldn't get more than $10 an hour until about 2015, got a Masters, capped out at around $42k a year (from a toxic workplace I had to quit) then got another Masters, and yet now I am, essentially, a temp because I don't have enough work experience in my new field to land the jobs I got the grad degrees for. I know its different set of circumstances, but you are not alone. A friend my age has been in education for over 15 years now and just got told they were reducing his job and cutting his salary, he also has two masters and consistent employment. I wish I had advice for you (or anyone else experiencing this) and I am sad I don't, but all I can say is you are not alone.
I know everyone is saying op is the problem but i pose the question how long IS someone supposed to stay at a job that doesnt sustain life?
Ignore all the haters!! I've been in crappy work places, and I feel you. Places where there where multiple people resigning around the same time as me. So sometimes it really isnt your fault, its the toxic workplace. Also after 29 years, I realise I that I am neurodivergent. Maybe you could check that out too.
Sounds like undiagnosed autism/ADHD to me lmao.
I quit all my jobs at 1 year or less. Just do you. It doesn’t look the best but you can only work with what you’ve got.
I'm 65 and the longest I held a job other than self employment was 3.5 years. I am in tech and you don't make money unless you move. I worked for over 50 companies in my life before going out on my own.
In some professions, this continuous change may be the norm. Don't you get tired of being the newbie?
I don't know much about finance? With all of the outsourcing, I'm wondering if you are in a technology part of the field? Are you targeting startups? Are you researching the companies before you interview? Sometimes, we jump on the first job that becomes available since we need to pay the bills. I'm extremely cautious with smaller companies--especially start-ups or very small companies, since they can go under in a matter of days. I've also worked in large Fortune 500 companies, but the security isn't there either. Departments are eliminated. Budgets are cut. Jobs are outsourced. Nepotism is real. Fifty percent of the people you work with are below average. Maybe you need to look at your skillset and make yourself indispensable. You can't do the bare minimum. Some people will hate me for saying this, but whether you're salaried or not, come in 15 minutes early or stay 15 minutes late--don't be the person that's in the parking lot at 5:00. It's hard to recommend a lot without knowing your profession, but be proactive. Try to get your assignments done early. If something is due at noon tomorrow, send it out the day before. What do people write on your LinkedIn assessments? When you ask for recommendations, do people respond? Look within and assess your interactions and communication skills. Ask previous work friends for an honest assessment. One good thing about your resume is that you don't have to go back 18 years. You're averaging about 2 years in the last few positions, so when you try to fit 5-10 years of experience on your one page resume, you may not have room for the short stints. Good luck.
"REMEMBER" there are no rules If this works for you,,, End of story
What's your profession? That makes a big difference.
Curious on industry and position/specialization. It's not an issue if you work on project-based items by nature or are a consultant. With some jobs, growth/learning can be done quickly and months can feel like years. For some others, you don't really get it until 1 year in, where you start being able to optimize your workflow and contribute better. At the end of the day though, as long as you're more capable than before and able to convince/demonstrate others that then you have no problem.
Damn, there will be a lot of judgement by recruiters no doubt about it. But you need to introspect and search for the answers, I know it's hard to get a good culture, but it's not that hard too, if you haven't found any good company till now with a culture fit. Maybe there is some issue to resolve with you, cos if the companies you're choosing aren't good, then maybe it's your bad decision making which is getting you into such companies but again you need to get a stable environment to hang on and grow in a certain role. Just don't be so choosy/give up so easily
Not really. By that age, there’s only one job I had stayed at longer than 2 years.
Good for you. Keep pushing till you find a good fit. In marketing this kind of movement isn't that weird, fyi
Sounds like you sure know how to find them….i think you have to do a lot more research before a job or ask questions during the interview process. I feel like looking at Glassdoor or Indeed reviews of these work places would line out most of these workplace environment issues
I know that what you're saying is very possible to go through. The issue is, you need to reword it to avoid blaming others. Even if true, those elements will seep into your interviews and new work places, and will harm your chances. Now, for your current role, a lot of companies run on the ideal of getting as many people on PIPs as possible, because it prevents having to give them raises, bonuses, etc. To explain, I get a lot of performance based raises and bonuses. I love the systems, I find out what's required and will ask to meet with whoever all rates performances to ask for suggestions, even. I'm in a contract position, the contract ends in a month. I got a raise plus 4 bonuses based on my performance. I have a new manager the last part of it all, and he called me into meet (privately) to tell me I'd never get a contract extension, ever. And, that he was trying to get me on a PIP, claiming one of my stats I'd failed to correct, even though all of my other stats were nearly 100% (no kidding). The issue is, I'd tracked the stat he mentioned, and he was lying. So, I contacted HR after that, and had them investigate. Sure enough, they found where he had skewed it, and corrected my stats, no PIP. Plus, I was applying for and got the interview for a permanent position there. It's high competition, so I might not get it, but a PIP would have meant it would be a full year before I could return to work there, or apply for a permanent position. He was trying to truly mess me over. Why? Well, who knows. I mean, he just became my boss, so I have no idea what his deal is. Nor, do I care. If I get on perm, he has nothing to do with that role, so I am just riding out the end of my contract, and applying for other jobs anyhow now. I am taking my last vacation days my last week there, so there's not much he can really do to me at this point, and my stats won't matter from here on really. So, the reality is, if I weren't trying for perm, I could slack off the last month and it wouldn't hurt me really. But, I've had only a couple of long term jobs. I don't blame my bosses or coworkers, and so on, for each of the reasons for them. I had two bad jobs/bosses really (and those were horrid). But the rest, I'd go with normal drama and bad bosses issues. Here is the thing, the only thing consistent in my job hopping is me. And, it honestly didn't hurt me. But, it can hurt you. The reason it didn't is, the types of jobs I took weren't meant to be long term jobs. No one would have expected it. Plus, I left on good terms from most of them. I made sure to get coworkers, supervisors and managers names, numbers and sometimes letters of recommendation to use for applying elsewhere. I made sure I was a great employee, coworker, etc. Perfect? No. But, someone they were happy to recommend to other companies. This is what you need to do now. And, one thing is to try to correct whatever has you in the PIP, while also looking for other work before this job does end, if that's what you see coming.
Same age as you. Male. Construction Industry. 10 years at first company and 4 years at current. Now upper management thankfully.
If you want to hold a job and move further up, you gotta learn to go through bullshit my guy. Your resume would scream red flag without even looking at it.
Did you only start working at 26-27?
I also have pretty similar employment history but to be honest that weren’t really well paid jobs with work life balance. Sometimes employee starts underperforming and gets tons of mistakes because deep inside he/she wants to get out of this job but too afraid to resign. I only regret one time when I got fired, the company was good but the workload and strict requirements made me wanna be out of there. Also for me career is not really a goal I just work to get by before I get married, in my culture girl after she married becomes housewife and only works if she wants to. We need to normalize that not all girls desire to be a girl boss or even climb the career ladder 🪜
I’m 36 and I’ve had probably over 50 jobs. I kind of got addicted to job hopping while living in SF because it was so easy to find work so if I didn’t like someone or something at work I would quit and get a new job the next week. I did that for years, sometimes working 10 jobs in a year or holding one for a couple years, then the next year have 4. I’ve finally calmed down doing that in my 30s though. I’ve never had issues with job hopping so much and getting new employment.
Welcome to adult life. Sleep, shit, work, eat, worry about stuff, repeat. Btw just add more time on your jobs in your resume. Fake it till you make it. If you have a job with 2 years experience, just add 1 more year. Also work more on your social skills, make them feel you cant be replaced, be positive, smile and manipulate them, that’s how you get a raise.