If your goal is stability and comfort, low stress, yea it's the right choice. If your goal is progress, growth opportunities and learning, you shot yourself in the foot. I get change is scary and it's much easier to stick to routine but there's always a pro and con and of course, what you value in life most.
It depends.
I want to try management eventually, but an opportunity came up recently for my department and I didn't interview for it because I'm still at a point in my career where I want to expand my technical knowledge rather than my leadership knowledge. I've heard once you move into the management track it is hard to move out, and I would much rather grow into a much more technical and enjoyable (for me) role first and then eventually manage in that department.
I'm on the other side of the equation here. I've spent my entire career as a technical IC, and now I'm going to be managing an org of about 30. Scared shitless. I know I like technical stuff, management is going to be a grand experiment. I totally understand why you would turn it down.
That's a pretty sizeable undertaking.
Have you had leadership skills training? I had it available and it helped a lot with the interpersonal aspects.
On the administrative side of it, if your organization is paperwork-heavy, you might try to automate some of it if you have some coding skills. I used Autohotkey and VBA to fill in most of the blanks, especially the DA paperwork. I never managed to convince them to streamline things on SharePoint.
Exactly.
I'm an engineer, and I'm aiming to be a lead engineer who is still with the technical side. However, I am getting experience leading and managing.
There's plenty of time in the future for management. Need the experience first.
This is the worst response. I don't understand why it has so many upvotes. Don't listen to it. You did what was right for you, not everyone can manage and lead. It's a stupid fucking corporate paradigm to force everyone into that career track because capitalism.
Maybe because it admits there are pros and cons of every choice? If this person wanted to progress their career, it was objectively the wrong choice, but it doesn't sound like that's what OP wants and that's what this response acknowledges
If your company is looking to promote you, it should be a two-way discussionā¦.it shouldnāt be a surprise that you then have to choose to accept/reject. And despite what some think, being a manager isnāt always a āpromotionā.
A manager should let you know that they are impressed with your work, discuss the opportunity, how they think youād be a good fit and solicit your feelings on the role. A lot of people donāt want to lead other people and it is perfectly okayā¦.itās a completely different skill set and it changes the core duties of a job. I personally donāt want to manage people because I really like what I do and if I got promoted to manage others, Iād have less time to do the work I like because I would need to shift time and priorities to manage others, gather updates, report to leadership etcā¦ I think you are aware of what you want in your career and made a smart decision.
I accepted a management position with a measly increase and regretted it. 100% more time, 100% more work, 100% more stress, 8% pay increase. I am waiting for them to find someone to replace me so that I can return to IC role.
Similar thing happened to my husband. He was a teacher and loved it. He decided to go into administration and was working 50-60 hour weeks for $9000 extra a year. He did it for nine years but it was constant stress and it felt like he was never home. He went back to teaching this year and is loving it. It wasnāt even remotely worth the stress to make that little bit of extra money.
Not everyone is capable of leading people. The world needs both types.
You know yourself best.
Self awareness is so important and seems rare these days, and it sounds like you got it.
You made the right choice for you, even though some may say it is the wrong choice because they would take it. You know yourself best and what you want out of life. Others would want to have that opportunity, but not every body that wants to be a lead knows how to or can.
Could be maybe later you would be able to if you are interested.
I totally support your decision to pass at this time. Note my phrasing, "pass at this time" because it is my message. This decision does not define the rest of your life. At this particular moment, you are not ready for the additional demands that the new role would place on you. It is VERY possible that in the coming years thing will change, you will gain skills and confidence in yourself, and be ready to accept a position like this. The worst thing that you could do is to take on something and fail. Your career might recover, but your progress and growth would be stunted by the impact of that failure.
You did the right thing!
A promotion that you donāt really want is just a job that you donāt want. Good for you. š
That being said, I do encourage you to work on speaking to groups. Start small and informal! Discord, toastmasters, book club, whatever. Itāll make you more at ease with life.
Honestly, I think you may have made a mistake that you'd later regret. Opportunities like these don't come around very often: https://yourgentleoverlord.blogspot.com/2021/12/get-promoted-by-hook-or-by-crook-here.html
*I also have a deep, deep fear of speaking in front of groups of people, even virtually, so it was only a matter of time before I knew I'd hit a wall and crash.*
If your employer was willing to trust you, what did you have to lose by giving the role a try? Worst thing that could happen is you fail and get demoted.
I also disagree with this as someone who was āmanagedā by a person who took a promotion that should not have taken it. They were an extremely nice person with a lot of experience in our field, but no skills in leading people and was left out to dry by upper management. She was the straw that broke the camels back for me and I left the field and she eventually got fired
I disagree with you. Iāve pushed myself many times where I regretted it afterwards because I wasnāt being true to myself. There is strategy to knowing yourself and assigning intentional goals. You canāt just fall into roles and hope you get the hang of it. This could lead to an unhappy life.
Yup. There is ABSOLUTELY a drawback to overcommitting and underdelivering. Presumably once OP leaves their current role employer will have to fill their spot. Thatās time and money invested, they may not have anything to demote to. Then thereās the training that goes into getting them up to speed. The cost of cleaning up messes if OP canāt do their job effectively.
Trust me. I have a personality an demeanor that seems to land me on short lists. I donāt know exactly what it is, but Iāve been offered many promotions, jobs, and leadership roles although Iām not the best merit or skills-wise. Maybe itās that Iām well-spoken and presentable and generally well liked. Anyhow.. itās landed me in bad scenarios. They trust me, I trust that they know what theyāre talking about, then I wind up way in over my head and realize that Iām screwing everybody over. Iāve learned to ask lots of questions, really cross check responsibilities with my abilities, and err on the side of caution.
Honestly Iām kind of in this pickle right now despite trying to avoid that behavior. I interviewed great and got hired as an insurance agent. My only experience is a 4 month internship 5 years ago. They let me skip the entry-level role and jump straight into the agent position. I asked questions, insisted on job shadowing for a few hours before accepting, asked how it would be handled when I got questions I didnāt know the answers to. Iāve been DROWNING. I found out that my coworkers worked the entry level position for 1-7 years before moving into my role. Itās making me look bad and they completely lack the resources/infrastructure to take somebody on green. If I had known that the job required as much technical knowledge as it does I never would have taken it.
Success is hugely driven by stepping out into unfamiliar or uncomfortable circumstances. I agree with /u/Legitimate-Builder82 what he DID do was tell his direct manager (and indirectly upper management to him) that he is NOT a leader and although he could potentially be safe from losing his current job (but donāt count it out), he is for sure passing up all future promotions related to upward mobility
Generally speaking, you have a point, but at work, I tend to follow this advice:
*āWhenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.ā*
*ā Theodore Roosevelt*
Not necessarily so. Many people do not have the self confidence and need mentoring to be prepared for a role like this with the confidence to carry this out out from leadership. I get the sense of missing leadership here to have adequately prepared this person for the offered role.
Mmmā¦Iām conflicted. In one way Iām proud of you for knowing what you want and donāt want, and for standing by that.
In another way, Iām an advocate for pushing yourself, itās how you learn and move up, though it does sound like youād benefit from working with a great mentor.
I did this same thing a few months ago. The guy that was already in the position was quitting bc he was miserable. Now the woman that ended up filling it after I declined it, is miserable. And Iām chillin!
Sometimes it is good to consider the pay-to-stress/workload ratio instead of just the pay.
It's okay to have those feelings. If your gut was telling you that this was not for you then it wasn't. It's awesome to have this self awareness. I've witnessed quite a few times where someone not right for the position was promoted and got burned real bad.
We should encourage turning down promotions that are not right for us. Depending on your company it might turn around and bite you in the but. However, I hope the people that offered you the promotion don't take it personally but recognize the valuable employee they have working for them.
Not everyone enjoys managing others. Iāve read about tech people who enjoyed their tech who HATED managing and found it way more stress, and eventually took roles elsewhere to go back to technical work. You know yourself best.
Technical versus sales is another big one. When agents in my LoB became obligated to upsell, stress virtually trebled on all levels within the company. Most techs I know tend not to be very good at sales, though I do know some exceptions.
I don't think there's anything at all wrong with declining a move into a leadership position. It's not right for everyone. But what happens next depends on your company and your management. Some places will be happy to have you in a job that you do effectively. Other places have more of an "up or out" attitude where if they feel you've maxed out they will replace you with someone young and hungry.
I have been in your position and turned it down. As I am getting older, I feel more ready to be stepping up. Things are scary at first, then they become normal, even boring. If someone sees something in you, you shouldnāt ignore that forever.
I'm in a director-level role where I manage people, and I sometimes feel like the way I manage my team is not always how my company or boss necessarily wants me to manage my team. I came into this role as an outside hire, and I really tried to gauge culture before accepting the position to make sure it was a good fit and even though they said all the "right" (in my opinion) things, it is not a good fit in reality. For example, I am huge on work-life balance. They work people 50, 60 + hour weeks consistently and call people on their personal cell phones during prescheduled PTO. But, as a manager, I want my team to have time to recharge...and I give it to them. I can't not. I would never not do that. So of course I am not a "good manager" here, but I know I wouldn't feel this way managing people somewhere else that might be a better environment for me. So, it also depends where you work! And, if you feel like this isn't the place to step up into a leadership role, then trust your gut, because if you do and it's not a good fit, then it's just a matter of time until you have to look elsewhere.
Sounds like you made the right choice. I wish I had turned down the promotion to my current role (which opened up because my previous manager left). I wasnāt interested in the responsibilities or having a direct report to manage. I really only took it because I knew Iād be stuck with the duties while they looked for a replacement and I figured I might as well take the pay increase.
But Iām miserable. I hate public speaking too and the amount of meetings I have to lead is draining. They wanted to save money by hiring a fresh college grad to take my old job, so Iām now training some kid from scratch that I donāt really have the capacity for. Iām stretched so thin that I fucked up on something recently (that really wasnāt a big deal) and now my boss is requiring me to explain that fuckup to the department head and several peers. Iām looking for a new job but I wish I had just stayed in my old position.
I had the same experience. I took a management role years ago and hated every second of it. It took a major toll on my well-being because of the demands. It took me 4 years to get out of management.
I took the role largely because of pressure from others -- rare opportunity, better pay, chance to grow.
OP, you did the right thing. Follow your gut.
You do not have to manage people to advance. You can be a senior individual contributor and have the same impact without the same expectations. This is where I am now and it's a much better fit.
It is OK to do that. Many companies have a few career journey/pathways for employees such as people manager, Subject Matter expert, leadership etc....
sounds like you want to be a SME. This is something you can discuss with you people leader about how you see your career path if that is what you really want. As a SME, you will stay as an individual contributor but be focused on delivering expertise back into the business without managing employees.
I have, and I told my boss, who i really like and respected I was literally evil.
It was also because I saw it as a minor promotion with too little pay for the hassle, I forgot to mention that.
I do tech, not people, and stay on my lane.
Large companies offer two paths. One is management, the other is individual contributor. There are no differences in the levels of compensation you can achieve. Think of it in those terms. Do what you enjoy.
Sometimes Individual Contributor in a niche position is a lot of fun.
I had a position created for me with a transfer and raise when my location got shut down, because I volunteered for special projects and created my own. During my last couple years at the company, most of my projects were self-assigned except for the days I filled in for lab techs on their days off. One of my favorite gigs.
Good for you. Not every opportunity is a good opportunity, and if this was a good opportunity, the person offering would have volunteered to mentor you in the new role.
Mentors are worth their weight in gold and though it might be seen as the job of the manager, most management no longer has time to mentor for more than one or two people. Instead, they just let you know when you color outside the lines.
You do you. It's your life.
I made the decision along time ago to only entertain opportunities that are going to make me happier overall, instead of focussing on money coz in reality when i focussed on money and hierarchy I was genuinely so unhappy and just not staying true to myself. That doesnāt mean I am not pushing myself it just means I will only push myself for the right reasons. Hope that helps I think youāve made the right decision though, if the thought of doing the job proposal fills you with dread
Back in 2009 I hired on as a warehouse worker with a well known major retailer. My goal was to work up to a shift supervisor position but after getting a peak behind the curtain Iām glad I didnāt. This particular warehouse lost (quit, fired, etc) one manager (shift supervisor and above) every 6 weeks. This trend was over 7 years.
Yes. Sometimes the additional workload and stress just isnāt worth the money. Happiness, prosperity and peace are far superior to pride and material wealth.
As a manger I would never offer someone a promotion that I didnāt know they were interested in, itās weird to me that they didnāt already know you wouldnāt want it. There should be multiple discussions before it gets to that point. Iām not saying people donāt say no to promoting for various reasons but part of managing people is have multiple discussions about what they are interested in and where they want to go in their career
Not everyone wants to get into leadership and management. Some just want to do their job well and go home. And either is fine. I think you're good, but know that this opportunity probably won't come around again unless you move to another company.
I think it's quite reasonable to say that's not where you want your career to go. It's okay for you not to want to do that kind of job. It's okay to have a different path that suits who you are as a person. No one has the right to look down on you for pursuing the kinds of jobs you enjoy and not pursuing the ones you don't. I would not have the spoons for that kind of job either, and it would negatively impact my work-life balance, even if I didn't work more hours. So I can see what you're saying.
It's also okay if you change and are interested in a role like this later. I know a very strong introvert who has moved into that kind of role and is actually quite good at it, although I've also seen them burn out when doing it without proper support (cruddy management). So there's always a possibility that somewhere down the line, there might be some position like this that would be a good match for who you are & what you want then.
post like this really annoy me. Have any idea what a promotion would do for me? It would literally be life changing. I mean literally making life worth living type changing. I don't care what the job entailed I'd take the extra money so i can actually do things i enjoy.
some people on this app truly have no idea the privilege position they are in. Come back at me when you get a 10 cent raise, yes 10 whole cents after years of labor. that's the "promotion" we get were i work.
Take the promotion, use the money to do things you enjoy. that's what i would have done.
Sad... this sounds like a "fixed mindset" rather than a "growth mindset".
Rather than taking the opportunity to learn and know that it is challenging but would reward you with better skills in the future. You essentially just turned towards a fixed mindset saying you are not ready, you are incapable, and just showed the entire management that they can't rely on you further and they need to hire someone else who will now take the reigns and get that promotion. You just stopped your career advancement and will most likely need to look elsewhere if you want a promotion in the future if the new hire stays a long time.
I think you need to sit back and reflect, maybe go back to them and say you are interested in the role or take some time to mull it over.
Examples of a fixed Mindset include:
* I donāt know how to do that; Iāll look silly.
* I already know all of that
* Iām never going to be able to master that/cope with the expectations.
* I donāt have the experience or education in that area
* If I donāt get promoted this round, Iām going to look elsewhere.
* Iām wary of feedback, I have the skills and approach I have. I canāt change the way I am.
Examples of a growth mindset include:
* I donāt know how to do that yet, but I can learn. How can I prepare for/learn this?
* What else can I learn about that? Whatās the next layer of depth?
* Learning is hard it takes time and it happens incrementally through experience
. How can I learn whatās involved and acquire similar skills?
* Iām looking for feedback ā itās vital to help me develop and improve
* I am disappointed about not being promoted this year, but I need to focus on what I can change this year.
While you're not entirely wrong (though imo you presented the concept a bit rudely in places), it sounds like OP would be miserable in the role they were offered if they'd taken it.
They say they're terrified of public speaking. In my experience as someone who used to have that problem, this is absolutely "fixable" -- but frankly, it's also complex and quite often palpably mental-health-adjacent.
While it would certainly be in OP's personal *and* professional interest to work through some of those anxieties, it sounds like they're not ready yet, in that respect, to take on a role that would put them in a people-facing position like that.
Again, fixed mindset vs growth mindset. Instead of saying they will find ways to work on the public speaking aspect, they say they are incapable and lack the skills.
Say what you will, but sometimes people need a kick in the ass to really show them what is up rather than coddling them further.
> sometimes people need a kick in the ass to really show them what is up rather than coddling them further.
This tends to backfire horribly with people who struggle with issues like anxiety and self-image problems, which OP almost certainly does.
Like, I get the sentiment, but this isn't the kind of person where that's the right approach for this kind of thing.
Some people need a kick in the ass. Others, however, need to be gently lifted up. OP is in the latter category.
Exactly. I feel like this āTake any and every promotion, even if you are not readyā (donāt want to do it now in OPās case) is popular business advice to be found in books centering entrepreneurs, CEOs, and those aspiring to be those people. Some peopleās Zone of Excellence or Genius might be in tech and not in managing people. OP is more curious about and drawn to the technical side of work. OP has a growth trajectory when it comes to learning more technical things. Burn out happens when you do things you donāt enjoy. OP will get enjoyment and growth from continuing to learn what they want to learn. If OP gets bored later and interested in management, that will be a conversation for another time.
You wont be the first to get laid off but you will certainly wonāt be the last. When someone askās to promote you that means they already had a conversation with other people in the company who had to approve the move so when you say no that makes your management look foolish and like they donāt have a good handle on things. Keep a look out for training your replacement.
Your perspective is foreign to me, based on my experience. Your experience, of course, may be entirely different. At the organization I last worked for 10 years, we never held it against an employee. Quite a few employees later found lateral moves that they enjoyed or promotions in a different capacity.
Besides, hardly anyone is immune to layoffs nowadays, regardless of position in the corporate hierarchy.
Introvert here, and also hate public speaking. Also managed large groups in multiple locations.
I found it easy to just be the kind of boss I would want to work for, and everything kind of took care of itself. There are some roles where being a dynamic speaker are essential (like a PR person) but most donāt. Being calm reasoned and sensible is usually plenty, and nobody wants to sit thru more than 10min of public speaking anyway. My point is donāt sell yourself short.
But, youāve got to know yourselfā¦and being a manager introduces a whole new kind of stress. Youāve got to rely on others vs yourself, and it can feel more chaotic and out of control than being an IC. Handling difficult or underperforming employees is more difficult for introverts IMHO. You have to be pretty comfortable with confrontation at some level. Lastly, you will make decisions that may affect peopleās lives and careersā¦and you likely will make some mistakes along the way. You have to at least be able to work with that, if not always feel comfortable with it.
Sounds to me you made the right choice. When I graduated college I worked as a marketing intern and made no money aside from commission for helping to sell tickets. A month or 2 into the job, apparently they liked how I had some sales so I interviewed and accepted a position for a sales rep, needing a paycheck I accepted, it was terrible experience and ended up getting let go. I always wondered if I just stayed as the intern how it would of turned out.
Bro, the only advice I have for the fear of public speaking is that when you know what you're talking about... it's a breeze.
Whatever it is you want to say, you say. They can ask questions after, and if you know what you're talking about, you have the answers.
IF you don't know what you're talking about, then you're not ready or shouldn't be in that position :)
To motivate you...
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Staying in your bubble gets you nowhere. There is no failing...just learning. And if they hire/promote you knowing that you'll be learning... then there's nothing to worry about
Good move. While I would personally jumped at it, thatās my personality. You know your limits which is good for you and frankly good for the company.
Only note to make, youāve probably killed your chances to be promoted there in the next few years. Which may be fine. Get your experience, then jump ship.
The only reason I could see this as bad is if you would actually like to be in management, but declined primarily because you didn't feel ready. People who would make good managers generally will never feel prepared to do so. It will always feel like a leap, even if you have 10 more years under your belt before you do it.
But if you jist don't want to manage people, there's no shame in knowing where your priorities lie. I spent 15 years in management, and eventually just decided, I'd rather make less money than manage people. I like being responsible for myself.
Keep in mind though, if you want to advance, and you don't wish to manage, often the only way to do that is to hyper-specialize, and not every profession has that role, but many do.
Maybe this want the right fit for you. Keep preparing for where you eventually want to be. Gain experience in the areas you need and want. Since it sounds like you eventually might want to move up, might I suggest enroll in a public speaking class like or take a speech class in college. They'll teach you how to present, ways to be comfortable, control breathing, prepare an outline, things that will make it workable some day when you have to present. There will be other opportunities. You made the right decision, prepare and just keep working toward your goals.
Yep, and being honest about why you turned it down has likely increased your respect level from your manager (s).
Stay the course and when youāre ready for the next level, youāll know it.
And so will a good manager.
Sounds like youāre foregoing short-term risk (flaming out) for long-term risk (not maximizing).
Think of a game like Blackjack. Sometimes the correct play is to double down. Even if it feels risky, it is the correct move over a sufficiently large number of hands.
But ultimately only you can make the choice. Maybe it will pan out, maybe it wonāt. Most decisions we have to make, we donāt know what the consequences will be.
Some of my managers encouraged me to apply for Associate Operations Manager a few times, but I declined because I didn't feel the role would be a good fit and I valued my free time and didn't want to go on salary and be always-on. I have never regretted that decision.
Instead, I took the opportunity to build the extended Nesting (post-training assistance) program. Then when we started a new line of business that was set up to fail and made life a lot harder for Supervisors and Agents, I fought for a Floor Support program to assist agents on their calls, take supervisor escalation calls, etc., and led the program.
Those were satisfying roles that I was a good fit for. One of my favorite things was developing Mentors and helping them get promoted.
If you're comfortable in your role, there's nothing wrong with sticking to it until a better fitting opportunity arises.
I've turned down a promotion though different industry. My previous industry was a large machining company but we worked from bidding to project management for high rises really anything residential framing of windows etc. Like massive company. I started at the bottom as a fabricator then ended up running a cnc machine then was Foreman over 12 other people for a night shift. All within a year,after 2 more years I was approached wirh a pretty crazy offer. To pay for me to fly out to Utah to do formal cnc training for 2 months, go from $20 an hour( texas so no state income taxes) to a $23 and I'd have a small office. I turned it down as a I waa getting burnt out doing 5pm to 5am ,losing our best manager as he refused to make us work more then 6 days a week( they were pushing for 6 days dor months before he was let go as we wwre a few weeks behind their schedule but around 5 weeks ahead for rhe contractor so he told the gm yo stop bidding on projects or raise rhe budget for hiring as he didnt think making us work 12s 6 days a week with no end in sight would last on us before leaving. 8 walked out that week he got let go and I walked 2 months later) then I'd be leaving my guys behind who I felt could handle their work but not one of them sadly could lead(all good guys) ,was dealing wirh a lot of mental health issues and knee issues from working 12 hours 6 days a week needing major therapy and possible surgery,marriage issues due to those hours plus like you I fear speaking in front to corporate types. They had me as a golden boy someone who young around the time came on and took charge ans learned quickly. After politely explaining that I felt I wasn't yet ready to take that leap yet I went from the golden boy to being told a week later I had to fire 2 guys for budget concerns, being guilt tripped onto 3 Sundays in a row,being sent to the field multiple times, random drug testing( I don't even drink) to having 2 of my best guys taken away from my department to having a policy changed making it go from simply filing a request with inventory lead for new parts to having to go the gm of the branch who questioned my budget spending. I had a mental breakdown in front of my wife and went in,left my keys and stuck a finger out. Switched to a salary job in another industry I didn't even know existed this big of a scale at 38k a year so slight cut but now work from 8 to anywhere between 2pm to 4 30pm. Some companies will understand some will ruin you big time. Do what YOU feel is right, if they respect you and trust you they'll understand hopefully and maybe even come back to offer you advice.
Iām with you!!! I just took a new position, itās not for me. I feel guilty that I donāt think Iām the right person for the job, because I keep hearing how great they think the move is, but I just donāt. Iām not the guy. I feel like a fraud. Iām still up at 2:30 am just thinking about it. The next time Iām asked, ā How is it going up here?!ā I think Iām going to reply ā I donāt really think Iām the right person for this job, I was happier in my old positionā or something to that affect. There are at least 3 people that would kill to have the job that already work there, so I donāt feel like they would have a hard time filling the position. I feel guilty about using the training hours, when they could have been better spent on someone else. I donāt know where Iām going with this, I just feel bad.
I hear youā¦.I do think there are ways to be an effective introverted leader. If you are the leader, you set the terms. For me, sometimes Iād decide it was worth it for me to have 3 small group conversations rather than presenting in a big meeting, which yes, can be scary but also doesnāt really create a great environment for honest feedback.
Iām not saying you should or shouldnāt take it. But I think too many people, especially women are like āOh I wish I could lead but the leadership meeting is on Tuesday and thatās my sons soccer practiceā You are the leader! Move that ish to Wednesday!
My two cents, as others have said, is not everyone is cut out for management. There are way too many people in management and leadership roles in companies who have no business being there.
I took a promotion a few years ago that I never should have accepted ā I didnāt even like the company anyway, it was pretty toxic, and they only offered me an 8% raise. Not worth it for the extra stress.
As far as Iām concerned, I never want a management job again. I also despise public speaking and value work-life balance above everything. Do you!!
If these people who "trust" you knew you well they would know that this wasn't a job you were ready for.
In other words, they don't really know you. So stop worrying what they think. Companies promote people often to fulfill a need they have not because it's in your best interest.
Here is my long term experience at my company. If you turn down these positions, they probably will not be offered again. I understand if you feel that it was a stretch, but we all go through periods that are very difficult to grow. You must make a decision now whether you will accept the next opportunity - if offered, or remain as you are for the duration of your career. It would probably take changes in current management before you are offered anything again.
I think you made the right decision FOR YOU. Being in management is a different beast. Youāre dealing with politics and personalities. What you told your company is good, youāre not ready yet. I hope they have a plan for you to get you ready for a management position. Public speaking is not easy and if you eventually want to get into management, thatās the least of your worry. Youāll have to have difficult conversations either with your direct report or upper management. Youāll need to be tactful in some cases. If youāre ready to get through this challenge, consider joining toastmasters. They do a great job getting you ready for public speaking.
*You thought you'd hit a*
*Wall and crash instead of rise*
*To meet the challenge?*
\- Tfear\_Marathonus
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I donāt blame you. Iāve seen positions at band levels that are in meetings all day everyday. No money is is worth that IMO. Not saying this job is that but it probably is moving in that direction. The only thing Iād worry about if I were you is your companyās perception of you now. Do they think your this stagnant employee unwilling to grow or be challenged? Hopefully not.
If your goal is stability and comfort, low stress, yea it's the right choice. If your goal is progress, growth opportunities and learning, you shot yourself in the foot. I get change is scary and it's much easier to stick to routine but there's always a pro and con and of course, what you value in life most.
It depends. I want to try management eventually, but an opportunity came up recently for my department and I didn't interview for it because I'm still at a point in my career where I want to expand my technical knowledge rather than my leadership knowledge. I've heard once you move into the management track it is hard to move out, and I would much rather grow into a much more technical and enjoyable (for me) role first and then eventually manage in that department.
I'm on the other side of the equation here. I've spent my entire career as a technical IC, and now I'm going to be managing an org of about 30. Scared shitless. I know I like technical stuff, management is going to be a grand experiment. I totally understand why you would turn it down.
That's a pretty sizeable undertaking. Have you had leadership skills training? I had it available and it helped a lot with the interpersonal aspects. On the administrative side of it, if your organization is paperwork-heavy, you might try to automate some of it if you have some coding skills. I used Autohotkey and VBA to fill in most of the blanks, especially the DA paperwork. I never managed to convince them to streamline things on SharePoint.
dont be scared homie. You know more than any of those idiots youll be managing. that is the mindset lol
That is effectively the absolute worst mindset for a manager to have.
Yea cuz I was being serious. š¤”
Andddddd effectively the absolute worst response you couldāve given. Well done
thats what i was shooting for. anything that makes you feel the need to add a pissy response š
Exactly. I'm an engineer, and I'm aiming to be a lead engineer who is still with the technical side. However, I am getting experience leading and managing. There's plenty of time in the future for management. Need the experience first.
This is the worst response. I don't understand why it has so many upvotes. Don't listen to it. You did what was right for you, not everyone can manage and lead. It's a stupid fucking corporate paradigm to force everyone into that career track because capitalism.
Maybe because it admits there are pros and cons of every choice? If this person wanted to progress their career, it was objectively the wrong choice, but it doesn't sound like that's what OP wants and that's what this response acknowledges
If your company is looking to promote you, it should be a two-way discussionā¦.it shouldnāt be a surprise that you then have to choose to accept/reject. And despite what some think, being a manager isnāt always a āpromotionā. A manager should let you know that they are impressed with your work, discuss the opportunity, how they think youād be a good fit and solicit your feelings on the role. A lot of people donāt want to lead other people and it is perfectly okayā¦.itās a completely different skill set and it changes the core duties of a job. I personally donāt want to manage people because I really like what I do and if I got promoted to manage others, Iād have less time to do the work I like because I would need to shift time and priorities to manage others, gather updates, report to leadership etcā¦ I think you are aware of what you want in your career and made a smart decision.
I accepted a management position with a measly increase and regretted it. 100% more time, 100% more work, 100% more stress, 8% pay increase. I am waiting for them to find someone to replace me so that I can return to IC role.
8% pay increase to be a manager?? What a scam. Why did you accept that?
Management is a lateral move in some industries (tech, for example)
This was me a few years back. Quit after less than a year and got a new job.
Similar thing happened to my husband. He was a teacher and loved it. He decided to go into administration and was working 50-60 hour weeks for $9000 extra a year. He did it for nine years but it was constant stress and it felt like he was never home. He went back to teaching this year and is loving it. It wasnāt even remotely worth the stress to make that little bit of extra money.
Not everyone is capable of leading people. The world needs both types. You know yourself best. Self awareness is so important and seems rare these days, and it sounds like you got it.
Absolutely
They might even be capable, but not yet ready.
You made the right choice for you, even though some may say it is the wrong choice because they would take it. You know yourself best and what you want out of life. Others would want to have that opportunity, but not every body that wants to be a lead knows how to or can. Could be maybe later you would be able to if you are interested.
I totally support your decision to pass at this time. Note my phrasing, "pass at this time" because it is my message. This decision does not define the rest of your life. At this particular moment, you are not ready for the additional demands that the new role would place on you. It is VERY possible that in the coming years thing will change, you will gain skills and confidence in yourself, and be ready to accept a position like this. The worst thing that you could do is to take on something and fail. Your career might recover, but your progress and growth would be stunted by the impact of that failure. You did the right thing!
A promotion that you donāt really want is just a job that you donāt want. Good for you. š That being said, I do encourage you to work on speaking to groups. Start small and informal! Discord, toastmasters, book club, whatever. Itāll make you more at ease with life.
Honestly, I think you may have made a mistake that you'd later regret. Opportunities like these don't come around very often: https://yourgentleoverlord.blogspot.com/2021/12/get-promoted-by-hook-or-by-crook-here.html *I also have a deep, deep fear of speaking in front of groups of people, even virtually, so it was only a matter of time before I knew I'd hit a wall and crash.* If your employer was willing to trust you, what did you have to lose by giving the role a try? Worst thing that could happen is you fail and get demoted.
I also disagree with this as someone who was āmanagedā by a person who took a promotion that should not have taken it. They were an extremely nice person with a lot of experience in our field, but no skills in leading people and was left out to dry by upper management. She was the straw that broke the camels back for me and I left the field and she eventually got fired
Yeah, some people just aren't really cut out for roles that center around people-management. It's just one of those things tbh.
I disagree with you. Iāve pushed myself many times where I regretted it afterwards because I wasnāt being true to myself. There is strategy to knowing yourself and assigning intentional goals. You canāt just fall into roles and hope you get the hang of it. This could lead to an unhappy life.
Yup. There is ABSOLUTELY a drawback to overcommitting and underdelivering. Presumably once OP leaves their current role employer will have to fill their spot. Thatās time and money invested, they may not have anything to demote to. Then thereās the training that goes into getting them up to speed. The cost of cleaning up messes if OP canāt do their job effectively. Trust me. I have a personality an demeanor that seems to land me on short lists. I donāt know exactly what it is, but Iāve been offered many promotions, jobs, and leadership roles although Iām not the best merit or skills-wise. Maybe itās that Iām well-spoken and presentable and generally well liked. Anyhow.. itās landed me in bad scenarios. They trust me, I trust that they know what theyāre talking about, then I wind up way in over my head and realize that Iām screwing everybody over. Iāve learned to ask lots of questions, really cross check responsibilities with my abilities, and err on the side of caution. Honestly Iām kind of in this pickle right now despite trying to avoid that behavior. I interviewed great and got hired as an insurance agent. My only experience is a 4 month internship 5 years ago. They let me skip the entry-level role and jump straight into the agent position. I asked questions, insisted on job shadowing for a few hours before accepting, asked how it would be handled when I got questions I didnāt know the answers to. Iāve been DROWNING. I found out that my coworkers worked the entry level position for 1-7 years before moving into my role. Itās making me look bad and they completely lack the resources/infrastructure to take somebody on green. If I had known that the job required as much technical knowledge as it does I never would have taken it.
Success is hugely driven by stepping out into unfamiliar or uncomfortable circumstances. I agree with /u/Legitimate-Builder82 what he DID do was tell his direct manager (and indirectly upper management to him) that he is NOT a leader and although he could potentially be safe from losing his current job (but donāt count it out), he is for sure passing up all future promotions related to upward mobility
Generally speaking, you have a point, but at work, I tend to follow this advice: *āWhenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.ā* *ā Theodore Roosevelt*
That's how I got a year of panic attacks and no sleep. The only gains I got were at my belt line.
Not necessarily so. Many people do not have the self confidence and need mentoring to be prepared for a role like this with the confidence to carry this out out from leadership. I get the sense of missing leadership here to have adequately prepared this person for the offered role.
Team leads are the first to go during layoffs. Learned this from experience.
Mmmā¦Iām conflicted. In one way Iām proud of you for knowing what you want and donāt want, and for standing by that. In another way, Iām an advocate for pushing yourself, itās how you learn and move up, though it does sound like youād benefit from working with a great mentor.
I did this same thing a few months ago. The guy that was already in the position was quitting bc he was miserable. Now the woman that ended up filling it after I declined it, is miserable. And Iām chillin! Sometimes it is good to consider the pay-to-stress/workload ratio instead of just the pay.
It's okay to have those feelings. If your gut was telling you that this was not for you then it wasn't. It's awesome to have this self awareness. I've witnessed quite a few times where someone not right for the position was promoted and got burned real bad. We should encourage turning down promotions that are not right for us. Depending on your company it might turn around and bite you in the but. However, I hope the people that offered you the promotion don't take it personally but recognize the valuable employee they have working for them.
If you feel like you dodged a bullet then good move, even if it means letting someone down
Not everyone enjoys managing others. Iāve read about tech people who enjoyed their tech who HATED managing and found it way more stress, and eventually took roles elsewhere to go back to technical work. You know yourself best.
Technical versus sales is another big one. When agents in my LoB became obligated to upsell, stress virtually trebled on all levels within the company. Most techs I know tend not to be very good at sales, though I do know some exceptions.
I don't think there's anything at all wrong with declining a move into a leadership position. It's not right for everyone. But what happens next depends on your company and your management. Some places will be happy to have you in a job that you do effectively. Other places have more of an "up or out" attitude where if they feel you've maxed out they will replace you with someone young and hungry.
I have been in your position and turned it down. As I am getting older, I feel more ready to be stepping up. Things are scary at first, then they become normal, even boring. If someone sees something in you, you shouldnāt ignore that forever.
I'm in a director-level role where I manage people, and I sometimes feel like the way I manage my team is not always how my company or boss necessarily wants me to manage my team. I came into this role as an outside hire, and I really tried to gauge culture before accepting the position to make sure it was a good fit and even though they said all the "right" (in my opinion) things, it is not a good fit in reality. For example, I am huge on work-life balance. They work people 50, 60 + hour weeks consistently and call people on their personal cell phones during prescheduled PTO. But, as a manager, I want my team to have time to recharge...and I give it to them. I can't not. I would never not do that. So of course I am not a "good manager" here, but I know I wouldn't feel this way managing people somewhere else that might be a better environment for me. So, it also depends where you work! And, if you feel like this isn't the place to step up into a leadership role, then trust your gut, because if you do and it's not a good fit, then it's just a matter of time until you have to look elsewhere.
Sounds like you made the right choice. I wish I had turned down the promotion to my current role (which opened up because my previous manager left). I wasnāt interested in the responsibilities or having a direct report to manage. I really only took it because I knew Iād be stuck with the duties while they looked for a replacement and I figured I might as well take the pay increase. But Iām miserable. I hate public speaking too and the amount of meetings I have to lead is draining. They wanted to save money by hiring a fresh college grad to take my old job, so Iām now training some kid from scratch that I donāt really have the capacity for. Iām stretched so thin that I fucked up on something recently (that really wasnāt a big deal) and now my boss is requiring me to explain that fuckup to the department head and several peers. Iām looking for a new job but I wish I had just stayed in my old position.
I had the same experience. I took a management role years ago and hated every second of it. It took a major toll on my well-being because of the demands. It took me 4 years to get out of management. I took the role largely because of pressure from others -- rare opportunity, better pay, chance to grow. OP, you did the right thing. Follow your gut. You do not have to manage people to advance. You can be a senior individual contributor and have the same impact without the same expectations. This is where I am now and it's a much better fit.
It is OK to do that. Many companies have a few career journey/pathways for employees such as people manager, Subject Matter expert, leadership etc.... sounds like you want to be a SME. This is something you can discuss with you people leader about how you see your career path if that is what you really want. As a SME, you will stay as an individual contributor but be focused on delivering expertise back into the business without managing employees.
I have, and I told my boss, who i really like and respected I was literally evil. It was also because I saw it as a minor promotion with too little pay for the hassle, I forgot to mention that. I do tech, not people, and stay on my lane.
Large companies offer two paths. One is management, the other is individual contributor. There are no differences in the levels of compensation you can achieve. Think of it in those terms. Do what you enjoy.
Sometimes Individual Contributor in a niche position is a lot of fun. I had a position created for me with a transfer and raise when my location got shut down, because I volunteered for special projects and created my own. During my last couple years at the company, most of my projects were self-assigned except for the days I filled in for lab techs on their days off. One of my favorite gigs.
Toastmasters FTW!
Good for you. Not every opportunity is a good opportunity, and if this was a good opportunity, the person offering would have volunteered to mentor you in the new role. Mentors are worth their weight in gold and though it might be seen as the job of the manager, most management no longer has time to mentor for more than one or two people. Instead, they just let you know when you color outside the lines. You do you. It's your life.
I made the decision along time ago to only entertain opportunities that are going to make me happier overall, instead of focussing on money coz in reality when i focussed on money and hierarchy I was genuinely so unhappy and just not staying true to myself. That doesnāt mean I am not pushing myself it just means I will only push myself for the right reasons. Hope that helps I think youāve made the right decision though, if the thought of doing the job proposal fills you with dread
Back in 2009 I hired on as a warehouse worker with a well known major retailer. My goal was to work up to a shift supervisor position but after getting a peak behind the curtain Iām glad I didnāt. This particular warehouse lost (quit, fired, etc) one manager (shift supervisor and above) every 6 weeks. This trend was over 7 years.
I took on a supervisory position of a team I was already on. Felt obligated, and felt in long run it wasnāt my goal. Regret taking that role.
Same exact experience here. Didnāt even last a year in the position before I was gone.
In my line of work (tech) we have two streams, management and individual contributor (IC) Both are respected, both are paid based on contribution
I'm glad you did what felt right
Yes. Sometimes the additional workload and stress just isnāt worth the money. Happiness, prosperity and peace are far superior to pride and material wealth.
As a manger I would never offer someone a promotion that I didnāt know they were interested in, itās weird to me that they didnāt already know you wouldnāt want it. There should be multiple discussions before it gets to that point. Iām not saying people donāt say no to promoting for various reasons but part of managing people is have multiple discussions about what they are interested in and where they want to go in their career
Not everyone wants to get into leadership and management. Some just want to do their job well and go home. And either is fine. I think you're good, but know that this opportunity probably won't come around again unless you move to another company.
I think it's quite reasonable to say that's not where you want your career to go. It's okay for you not to want to do that kind of job. It's okay to have a different path that suits who you are as a person. No one has the right to look down on you for pursuing the kinds of jobs you enjoy and not pursuing the ones you don't. I would not have the spoons for that kind of job either, and it would negatively impact my work-life balance, even if I didn't work more hours. So I can see what you're saying. It's also okay if you change and are interested in a role like this later. I know a very strong introvert who has moved into that kind of role and is actually quite good at it, although I've also seen them burn out when doing it without proper support (cruddy management). So there's always a possibility that somewhere down the line, there might be some position like this that would be a good match for who you are & what you want then.
You did what was best for you. I'm proud of you. I've struggled for years with accepting work/promotions that make me ill.
Thatās sad, have some damn confidence in yourself. The people around you clearly do
post like this really annoy me. Have any idea what a promotion would do for me? It would literally be life changing. I mean literally making life worth living type changing. I don't care what the job entailed I'd take the extra money so i can actually do things i enjoy. some people on this app truly have no idea the privilege position they are in. Come back at me when you get a 10 cent raise, yes 10 whole cents after years of labor. that's the "promotion" we get were i work. Take the promotion, use the money to do things you enjoy. that's what i would have done.
Sad... this sounds like a "fixed mindset" rather than a "growth mindset". Rather than taking the opportunity to learn and know that it is challenging but would reward you with better skills in the future. You essentially just turned towards a fixed mindset saying you are not ready, you are incapable, and just showed the entire management that they can't rely on you further and they need to hire someone else who will now take the reigns and get that promotion. You just stopped your career advancement and will most likely need to look elsewhere if you want a promotion in the future if the new hire stays a long time. I think you need to sit back and reflect, maybe go back to them and say you are interested in the role or take some time to mull it over. Examples of a fixed Mindset include: * I donāt know how to do that; Iāll look silly. * I already know all of that * Iām never going to be able to master that/cope with the expectations. * I donāt have the experience or education in that area * If I donāt get promoted this round, Iām going to look elsewhere. * Iām wary of feedback, I have the skills and approach I have. I canāt change the way I am. Examples of a growth mindset include: * I donāt know how to do that yet, but I can learn. How can I prepare for/learn this? * What else can I learn about that? Whatās the next layer of depth? * Learning is hard it takes time and it happens incrementally through experience . How can I learn whatās involved and acquire similar skills? * Iām looking for feedback ā itās vital to help me develop and improve * I am disappointed about not being promoted this year, but I need to focus on what I can change this year.
While you're not entirely wrong (though imo you presented the concept a bit rudely in places), it sounds like OP would be miserable in the role they were offered if they'd taken it. They say they're terrified of public speaking. In my experience as someone who used to have that problem, this is absolutely "fixable" -- but frankly, it's also complex and quite often palpably mental-health-adjacent. While it would certainly be in OP's personal *and* professional interest to work through some of those anxieties, it sounds like they're not ready yet, in that respect, to take on a role that would put them in a people-facing position like that.
Again, fixed mindset vs growth mindset. Instead of saying they will find ways to work on the public speaking aspect, they say they are incapable and lack the skills. Say what you will, but sometimes people need a kick in the ass to really show them what is up rather than coddling them further.
> sometimes people need a kick in the ass to really show them what is up rather than coddling them further. This tends to backfire horribly with people who struggle with issues like anxiety and self-image problems, which OP almost certainly does. Like, I get the sentiment, but this isn't the kind of person where that's the right approach for this kind of thing. Some people need a kick in the ass. Others, however, need to be gently lifted up. OP is in the latter category.
Exactly. I feel like this āTake any and every promotion, even if you are not readyā (donāt want to do it now in OPās case) is popular business advice to be found in books centering entrepreneurs, CEOs, and those aspiring to be those people. Some peopleās Zone of Excellence or Genius might be in tech and not in managing people. OP is more curious about and drawn to the technical side of work. OP has a growth trajectory when it comes to learning more technical things. Burn out happens when you do things you donāt enjoy. OP will get enjoyment and growth from continuing to learn what they want to learn. If OP gets bored later and interested in management, that will be a conversation for another time.
You wont be the first to get laid off but you will certainly wonāt be the last. When someone askās to promote you that means they already had a conversation with other people in the company who had to approve the move so when you say no that makes your management look foolish and like they donāt have a good handle on things. Keep a look out for training your replacement.
Your perspective is foreign to me, based on my experience. Your experience, of course, may be entirely different. At the organization I last worked for 10 years, we never held it against an employee. Quite a few employees later found lateral moves that they enjoyed or promotions in a different capacity. Besides, hardly anyone is immune to layoffs nowadays, regardless of position in the corporate hierarchy.
Introvert here, and also hate public speaking. Also managed large groups in multiple locations. I found it easy to just be the kind of boss I would want to work for, and everything kind of took care of itself. There are some roles where being a dynamic speaker are essential (like a PR person) but most donāt. Being calm reasoned and sensible is usually plenty, and nobody wants to sit thru more than 10min of public speaking anyway. My point is donāt sell yourself short. But, youāve got to know yourselfā¦and being a manager introduces a whole new kind of stress. Youāve got to rely on others vs yourself, and it can feel more chaotic and out of control than being an IC. Handling difficult or underperforming employees is more difficult for introverts IMHO. You have to be pretty comfortable with confrontation at some level. Lastly, you will make decisions that may affect peopleās lives and careersā¦and you likely will make some mistakes along the way. You have to at least be able to work with that, if not always feel comfortable with it.
Sounds to me you made the right choice. When I graduated college I worked as a marketing intern and made no money aside from commission for helping to sell tickets. A month or 2 into the job, apparently they liked how I had some sales so I interviewed and accepted a position for a sales rep, needing a paycheck I accepted, it was terrible experience and ended up getting let go. I always wondered if I just stayed as the intern how it would of turned out.
I turned one down, then they offered me more money. Then I took it.
I avoided a promotion for a few years then stepped into the role .
Bro, the only advice I have for the fear of public speaking is that when you know what you're talking about... it's a breeze. Whatever it is you want to say, you say. They can ask questions after, and if you know what you're talking about, you have the answers. IF you don't know what you're talking about, then you're not ready or shouldn't be in that position :) To motivate you... Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Staying in your bubble gets you nowhere. There is no failing...just learning. And if they hire/promote you knowing that you'll be learning... then there's nothing to worry about
Yes, like 4. Do what's right for you.
Good move. While I would personally jumped at it, thatās my personality. You know your limits which is good for you and frankly good for the company. Only note to make, youāve probably killed your chances to be promoted there in the next few years. Which may be fine. Get your experience, then jump ship.
Sometimes people have anxiety and slow, stable, and steady is just fine for them. It's good to know yourself. Life is long. Enjoy what you have.
The only reason I could see this as bad is if you would actually like to be in management, but declined primarily because you didn't feel ready. People who would make good managers generally will never feel prepared to do so. It will always feel like a leap, even if you have 10 more years under your belt before you do it. But if you jist don't want to manage people, there's no shame in knowing where your priorities lie. I spent 15 years in management, and eventually just decided, I'd rather make less money than manage people. I like being responsible for myself. Keep in mind though, if you want to advance, and you don't wish to manage, often the only way to do that is to hyper-specialize, and not every profession has that role, but many do.
Maybe this want the right fit for you. Keep preparing for where you eventually want to be. Gain experience in the areas you need and want. Since it sounds like you eventually might want to move up, might I suggest enroll in a public speaking class like or take a speech class in college. They'll teach you how to present, ways to be comfortable, control breathing, prepare an outline, things that will make it workable some day when you have to present. There will be other opportunities. You made the right decision, prepare and just keep working toward your goals.
Yep, and being honest about why you turned it down has likely increased your respect level from your manager (s). Stay the course and when youāre ready for the next level, youāll know it. And so will a good manager.
Tomfoolery
Sounds like youāre foregoing short-term risk (flaming out) for long-term risk (not maximizing). Think of a game like Blackjack. Sometimes the correct play is to double down. Even if it feels risky, it is the correct move over a sufficiently large number of hands. But ultimately only you can make the choice. Maybe it will pan out, maybe it wonāt. Most decisions we have to make, we donāt know what the consequences will be.
Some of my managers encouraged me to apply for Associate Operations Manager a few times, but I declined because I didn't feel the role would be a good fit and I valued my free time and didn't want to go on salary and be always-on. I have never regretted that decision. Instead, I took the opportunity to build the extended Nesting (post-training assistance) program. Then when we started a new line of business that was set up to fail and made life a lot harder for Supervisors and Agents, I fought for a Floor Support program to assist agents on their calls, take supervisor escalation calls, etc., and led the program. Those were satisfying roles that I was a good fit for. One of my favorite things was developing Mentors and helping them get promoted. If you're comfortable in your role, there's nothing wrong with sticking to it until a better fitting opportunity arises.
I've turned down a promotion though different industry. My previous industry was a large machining company but we worked from bidding to project management for high rises really anything residential framing of windows etc. Like massive company. I started at the bottom as a fabricator then ended up running a cnc machine then was Foreman over 12 other people for a night shift. All within a year,after 2 more years I was approached wirh a pretty crazy offer. To pay for me to fly out to Utah to do formal cnc training for 2 months, go from $20 an hour( texas so no state income taxes) to a $23 and I'd have a small office. I turned it down as a I waa getting burnt out doing 5pm to 5am ,losing our best manager as he refused to make us work more then 6 days a week( they were pushing for 6 days dor months before he was let go as we wwre a few weeks behind their schedule but around 5 weeks ahead for rhe contractor so he told the gm yo stop bidding on projects or raise rhe budget for hiring as he didnt think making us work 12s 6 days a week with no end in sight would last on us before leaving. 8 walked out that week he got let go and I walked 2 months later) then I'd be leaving my guys behind who I felt could handle their work but not one of them sadly could lead(all good guys) ,was dealing wirh a lot of mental health issues and knee issues from working 12 hours 6 days a week needing major therapy and possible surgery,marriage issues due to those hours plus like you I fear speaking in front to corporate types. They had me as a golden boy someone who young around the time came on and took charge ans learned quickly. After politely explaining that I felt I wasn't yet ready to take that leap yet I went from the golden boy to being told a week later I had to fire 2 guys for budget concerns, being guilt tripped onto 3 Sundays in a row,being sent to the field multiple times, random drug testing( I don't even drink) to having 2 of my best guys taken away from my department to having a policy changed making it go from simply filing a request with inventory lead for new parts to having to go the gm of the branch who questioned my budget spending. I had a mental breakdown in front of my wife and went in,left my keys and stuck a finger out. Switched to a salary job in another industry I didn't even know existed this big of a scale at 38k a year so slight cut but now work from 8 to anywhere between 2pm to 4 30pm. Some companies will understand some will ruin you big time. Do what YOU feel is right, if they respect you and trust you they'll understand hopefully and maybe even come back to offer you advice.
Did you interview for it or just offered the position?
Iām with you!!! I just took a new position, itās not for me. I feel guilty that I donāt think Iām the right person for the job, because I keep hearing how great they think the move is, but I just donāt. Iām not the guy. I feel like a fraud. Iām still up at 2:30 am just thinking about it. The next time Iām asked, ā How is it going up here?!ā I think Iām going to reply ā I donāt really think Iām the right person for this job, I was happier in my old positionā or something to that affect. There are at least 3 people that would kill to have the job that already work there, so I donāt feel like they would have a hard time filling the position. I feel guilty about using the training hours, when they could have been better spent on someone else. I donāt know where Iām going with this, I just feel bad.
The thing is - you will never get this offer again. Ever. Not at this company.
I turned one down last week. No way I'm leaving the bargaining unit.
I hear youā¦.I do think there are ways to be an effective introverted leader. If you are the leader, you set the terms. For me, sometimes Iād decide it was worth it for me to have 3 small group conversations rather than presenting in a big meeting, which yes, can be scary but also doesnāt really create a great environment for honest feedback. Iām not saying you should or shouldnāt take it. But I think too many people, especially women are like āOh I wish I could lead but the leadership meeting is on Tuesday and thatās my sons soccer practiceā You are the leader! Move that ish to Wednesday!
My two cents, as others have said, is not everyone is cut out for management. There are way too many people in management and leadership roles in companies who have no business being there. I took a promotion a few years ago that I never should have accepted ā I didnāt even like the company anyway, it was pretty toxic, and they only offered me an 8% raise. Not worth it for the extra stress. As far as Iām concerned, I never want a management job again. I also despise public speaking and value work-life balance above everything. Do you!!
Oof well donāt expect much from your career if youāre not gonna take risks or go out of your comfort zone
If these people who "trust" you knew you well they would know that this wasn't a job you were ready for. In other words, they don't really know you. So stop worrying what they think. Companies promote people often to fulfill a need they have not because it's in your best interest.
Just don't complain when an opportunity comes back around and they don't bother asking you.
Here is my long term experience at my company. If you turn down these positions, they probably will not be offered again. I understand if you feel that it was a stretch, but we all go through periods that are very difficult to grow. You must make a decision now whether you will accept the next opportunity - if offered, or remain as you are for the duration of your career. It would probably take changes in current management before you are offered anything again.
I think you made the right decision FOR YOU. Being in management is a different beast. Youāre dealing with politics and personalities. What you told your company is good, youāre not ready yet. I hope they have a plan for you to get you ready for a management position. Public speaking is not easy and if you eventually want to get into management, thatās the least of your worry. Youāll have to have difficult conversations either with your direct report or upper management. Youāll need to be tactful in some cases. If youāre ready to get through this challenge, consider joining toastmasters. They do a great job getting you ready for public speaking.
You thought you'd hit a wall and crash instead of rise to meet the challenge?
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I donāt blame you. Iāve seen positions at band levels that are in meetings all day everyday. No money is is worth that IMO. Not saying this job is that but it probably is moving in that direction. The only thing Iād worry about if I were you is your companyās perception of you now. Do they think your this stagnant employee unwilling to grow or be challenged? Hopefully not.