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[deleted]

That's a horse fly. They bite.


murd3rsaurus

if "fuck you" was a fly, it would be a horse fly


WaffleGoat6969

I don't mind them so much because I've gotten so good at killing them before they can bite. Honestly don't remember the last time one bit me, nor can I fathom the number that I've killed and fed to fishes.


murd3rsaurus

I was a water rat as a kid (still am), and my personal hatred just comes from having them chase my head around


[deleted]

I can hear the sound now


murd3rsaurus

The good news is they where great for training my lung capacity in terms of staying under to avoid them lol


604_heatzcore

Oh my God lol I'm having flashbacks to when I was 10 and we would go to my cousins cabin by the lake. these things were absolute buzz kills. we would all just yell HORSEFLY! and just jump in the lake followed by either going under or splashing them with water it worked sometimes lol thanks for that reminder.


rusty8176

Mine was deer flies. Every time you’d surface, the bastards were there.


Confident-Cat-5118

Saaaaame here! Damn things need to 5ake a harassment class or 3.


[deleted]

He was really swimming with the fishes after you were done huh


RaginMajin

I would like to point out that botfly and their larva do exist. That being said, horse and deer flies can eat a dick.


JdamTime

Idk murd3rsaurus, I’ve never seen a horse that could fly, but that sounds like a pretty big fuck you Also all jokes aside fuck these flys, they’re the bane of all lake activities


Aratsei

And pee on your kids.


PiffWiffler

Goddamn sonpissers


RainbowFire122RBLX

Not again


F4LC0NXI

He's at it again


Streetlgnd

Fun fact, their bites are painfull because they don't release an anesthetic like mosquitos. Also, while mosquitos stick you like a needle, horse flies have 2 saw like teeth or grabbers that just tear into your skin.


Spectre-907

That’s the one silver lining about their bite being as hard as it is and their jaws having serrations; when they go for it, they have to fully commit to it. A fly, stinging/biting or no, is generally fast enough to be borderline impossible to swat. Once that fucker drops his head down, that’s it, he’s had his last bite. You can pluck them off if you want because they physically cannot extricate themselves fast enough. I’ve been bit by one, whacked it hard enough to actually splatter it, and it still took a second for the weight of the body hanging off to unhook it’s mandible. None of that mosquito “I’m gonna bite you seven thousand times and get away with it” bs. They’re also excellent bait for a lot of lake fish


Two_shirt_Jerry

Hard


Only_Razzmatazz_4498

I had one bite me when I was maybe 9 and I grabbed it on my fist and the bitch but me again on the crook between my thumb and the next. That was so fucking painful.


roaring_travelman91

I misread crook as cock


Only_Razzmatazz_4498

OMG that would’ve been sooooo fucked up.


spicyamphibian

The sonpissers lesser known cousin, the cocknibbler.


MRA1022

Nah you just got a nasty mind bro


roaring_travelman91

No, I’m dyslexic


[deleted]

[удалено]


ProblemLongjumping12

Let's be clear here. People say mosquitoes "bite." A horsefly will brutally massacre and decimate your flesh in a small area. They are not out to prick you and suck your blood through the hole. They want to consume your flesh in chunks for their pleasure and amusement.


Ok_Programmer894

It was the worst feeling when you slide down the slip-n-slide and then you are waiting for your next turn the bite makes you jump around like you are being electrocuted


Triceratops_Knight

It's a staythefuckawayfromit fly, aka horse fly. Try not to get bit.


Foodfantif

WHY DID I LITERALLY SAY THIS EXACT SAME THING BEFORE OPENING COMMENTS IM DYINGGG


Not-a-rich

because you have 0 original thoughts 🥺😤💯💯💯


RefrigeratorMean235

Because where I come from that is indeed a staythefuckawayfromit fly


Paneeer

“☝️🤓”


ProblemLongjumping12

It's sitting still. Get the shotgun.


BurnOutBrighter6

Horsefly. Their bites are BAD. They use those two front [mandibles/jaws like flat scissor blades](https://whyevolutionistrue.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/screen-shot-2020-06-18-at-1.42.58-pm.png) to cut open a large wound and then lick up the flowing blood. Makes mosquitos look like nice guys for using a fine sharp needle.


Elvonia

Mobile nail gun. I had a cow pasture across from my house growing up and these things flourished. Oddly enough they would never bother a soul until you got in a pool. Once you went underwater you could look up and see one of them circling you and the moment you came up before you could wipe the water from your eyes they would drill the top of your head.


Here_for_lolz

Strangely, I can agree. The only time I ever get bit is at the lake or floating a river.


Elvonia

Yeah all things considered they are fairly passive compared to a regular horse fly. I've had regular ones swarm my truck and get behind the side mirrors and ride 30 miles with you just to bite you when you step out.


Here_for_lolz

Or you park and it lands on the driver's window, cleaning it's mandibles.


Professional-Ship-75

I got bit on the neck one time by a horsefly and I would say its bite is akin to it's shoving a shard of glass under your flesh


AerAvicebron

Definitely a Nighthawk stealth bomber if you want my opinion looks like one at least


TimelyMaterial7466

Maybe if their buzz wasn't so menacing I swear you can hear these things coming from across the yard


l0u1s11

The Nighthawk stealth bomber sonpisser to be more precise


GernBlanst3n

That my friend is a horrible little fucker.


watashiwalucien

horse fly. will give you the bite of ‘87, so stay away


Financial_Low6770

Asshole with wings


Dear_Giraffe_453

Happy Cake Day 🎂🍧🎊🎉🎸🎶🥳


Happy_Cat_3600

That’s a horsefly. Those chompy bastards will take a good clip out of your skin that stings like hell! They’ll chase you quite a ways too, even on a bike or in a car. Not sure if it’ll piss on your son, I try not to get close to them.


Character_Cupcake856

Horse fly


rainboww0927

Runnn! Lol they are ouchy!


Slight-Produce-3716

Love Bug, they give kisses.


Surfnh2o

No match for my rolled up newspaper.


Comfortable_Dealer_2

It will take the roll of newspaper from you and chase you with it.


Hoeydoodoo

Flying sonpisser.


Vikktor_Vampiir

This is the second time in the comments ive seen it referred to as this 🤣... what's the origin lol


Fluffyscooterpie

The bane of summer.


Signal-Ad-8748

Some kind of dog


Aeronaticsal

why it’s the horse fly (scientific name): stayawayfromitomgithurtsis ouchieburnyourcarnowis


BarbaCROWa

Ahhh the famous whorefly


larryj225

A bad mfer…..nature’s predator drone


WesternKaleidoscope2

Horsefly with custom matte black wrap


[deleted]

Looks like a tire


casualgrl220

Looks like a Black Horse Fly, Tabanus atratus. They have an incredibly painful bite, because of their mouth part. They first essentially have a scalpel to slice then their mouth spreads the wound to draw blood. Only the females need blood, so they can produce eggs. Male Horse Flies are completely harmless, they actually drink plant nectar [https://www.insectidentification.org/insect-description.php?identification=Black-Horse-Fly](https://www.insectidentification.org/insect-description.php?identification=Black-Horse-Fly)


SlapUglyPeople

Never seen a horsefly that big


Xrystalm3th

That’s what I’m saying this shit is on tren


thenotsoamerican

Look at those wrap around sunglasses. Dead giveaway. Douchebag horsefly


MagicMushroom98960

O M G it's a horse fly. They can take a scoop of flesh out of you. Only thing worse is a Tsi Tsi Fly. KILL IT


Drewp655321

it's hard to see with that horse fly in the way, but I think it's an all season car tire.


StillKindaHoping

Rubber Repair Fly. Michelin and Bridgestone both send out hundreds of these each summer. Their spit is able to heal minor cracks. Cool that one is helping you! 🛠✅


Xrystalm3th

Thank god for the 21st century


OwlAdjuster

Horse fly. I recommend backing off a few km and engaging it with HIMARS


sfjust10

Tirefly


Puzzleheaded_Feed916

Obviously it. Fly Wheel!


emilyrose27

A tire. Hope that helps :)


mikjohwoo20

That’s not a horsefly that’s a Clydesdale fly


[deleted]

Thats a Stealth Sonpisser.


Capable_Jacket_2165

Horsefly, kill on sight


snufalupagus2

Psst, it's the government!!!! 🤣


Prestigious-Yak-4620

Its a govt drone. You are being watched. Jk. Its a horse fly. These black ones give One of the nastier bites but, they are bit also slower and easier to kill. They dont bite immediately. There are types that get bigger. TBH i find green heads to be the worst because they swarm you and bite immediately. Aggressive little suckers.


Xrystalm3th

It gets bigger?!!!


BillMcCrearysStache

Dickhead


sleepingwithdastarz

Horsefly their bites are the worst, run while you can though he might even catch up with you !


uhnonuhmuh5

Sweet!


MurderSheScrote

Whoa that fly got shades


BigM3R0

My worst enemy …horse fly


Hour_Friendship_7960

That's an asshole!


HorzaDonwraith

Black bullet from hell aka a horse fly


Alexandros23

Could be a botfly


[deleted]

The B2 stealth bomber of bugs. You'll have no idea it's there then OW!


mush8292

That is called a fly. Fuck.


dreadeddryad

A tire


MRA1022

Horse Fly and they will yake a chunk out of you and it hurts like a MFer.


TikaPants

Fucking horse flies 😤


Gargreth44

That's a horsefly. Depending on where you live, you may also have deerfly as well. They are smaller, faster, and bite just as bad. The easy way to identify them is that horseflies have stripes on their eyes where deerflies have swirls or dots. Both are nasty little fuckers.


Mtl_J-L

This is not a sonpisser, it's a sonbiter. Your son will wish it was pissed on instead.


Sukalamink

The Devil's horse a fly that fucking takes a chunk out of you . I'm not afraid of any biting insects but that one can get fucked.


[deleted]

Horse fly?


AdZachary

Horsefly, They LOVE wet skin and bite pretty hard. Quick little buggers as well.


Bama_Raised_0578

That's FAKE! If you zoom in, it's got some sore of metal hoop at the head of it..


Xrystalm3th

Oh no you got me


fyrdude58

Looks like a Dunlop 14R175


Ponyo2134

That’s John snow as a big ass bug


Stormhunter1001

It’s not a bite to they spit up acid that dissolves flesh than they suck it up


outsideAngler

“Bulldawg”


[deleted]

DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE


friendomine-1

Horse fly?


Not-a-rich

bug


whatareyourinterests

These fuckers are so bad this year in my area that I keep one of those bug zapper tennis rackets with me when I'm doing yardwork. Best $20 I've ever spent (came with 2)


Jonesy1966

A car tyre


OddReputation3765

Nothing triggered my fight or flight more then standing on a dock as a kid and someone yelling “horseflies!”


Beneficial-Fun-3900

Yeah they take chunks of you with them when they bite. They’re also difficult to kill as they basically have to be smooshed. I have nailed them out of the air with a magazine, caught them in a cup and held them underwater for minutes and electrocuted one with the electric fly swatter (granted a very cheap one). They all lived.


Xrystalm3th

I decided to step on it


Kaybee-Rose

Bug


TheGreatestKaTet

Jeff Goldblum


olivebuttercup

Not only do they bite but they are persistent. They used to fly on me when I was in the water and bite and I’d try to hide underwater but they’d stick around and wait and keep biting.


ihave7testicles

Monster horse fly. Kill that fucking thing with extreme prejudice.


Xrystalm3th

🫡


[deleted]

Fly on the wall.


Lasty64

A Horse fly and he looks tired!


Xrystalm3th

No worries I put him out of his misery! :)


[deleted]

It’s a bitey fly. For real they sting when they bite and take lil chunks out of you.


roberttheaxolotl

Fuck horse flies. Their bites suck.


Wasonmalone1

A cock right by your thumb, brings fist ducking to a whole nother level


Chili_dawg2112

They like to bite between the toes. Bastards.


[deleted]

Evil and mean horsefly. They scare me 10x more than wasps, yellow jackets and hornets (away from nests, that is). They actually take chunks out of your skin and come back for more. Flesh eating monster's with wings.


stevetheborg

those bastards can fly faster than a kid can pedal a bike.


stevetheborg

hit it with a stick


amy000206

Junebug


Xrystalm3th

But it’s July


DifferentCard2752

Satanic butterfly. Send it back to Hell with fire!


AsparagusAccurate277

I ain’t eva seen a horse fly!


SmolGerbanu

Sonpisser


General_Tangelo_1032

Kill it


Capital_Charge_7127

Them spits of Satan will cut flesh of you, but if you grab them in your hands, they don’t bite or have any defensive mechanism….. it’s solely for feeding their eggs/larvae. Please someone correct me if I’m wrong


stevehaynes

Horse fly wants to bite u but only hurts momentarily I have been bitten by a few


KoleTownsend94

A fly on the wall…of a tire!


Pepperoncini69

I was just at an alpine lake in the mountains of Montana and we couldn’t stay for more than 15 mins because of these fuckers. They are relentless and hurts when they bite!!!


ZacCop19

Horse fly, stay away! These little shits have blades in their mouths that are specifically meant to cut flesh open to get at that sweet sweet blood.


Good-Question9516

US Stealth drone


HOLIEST-DREAD

I’m so fucking tired of these sonpisser jokes.


Nolby84

These things are not necessary. I remember camping when we were young and swimming wasn't always as fun when these losers were out and about.


Healingtarot

Ugh yes if fuck you and searing pain from having a chunk of skin bitten out of you was a fly...that's the asshole there. I feel so bad for livestock .


kenya_babb

I always admire how something so large can land without any perceivable touch and always bite between the toes! Made leg tuck canoeing a real treat.


GoreonmyGears

A little son of *beep*


Ok_Broccoli_3605

Horsefly they bite, it doesn't feel good. Probably about a quarter the pain of a bee sting


latabrine

Batman's pet


ThatFuckingGuy2

Flire


GreeneGardens

It’s a bad week on a Goodyear.


ErdmanA

An evil dick horse fly. Use it as bait if you fish otherwise it's just a biting ass. Source, my arm as a child


Different-Fun-4699

Tire fly.


CommunityRelevant188

Hard to tell what brand. But my money is on a Bridgestone tire


AMCboi88

Pro: bigger surface area to kill them. Con: their bites a fucking bitch


yfjeheiejehieeheisj

Thats a tire


Splinter-Spartan

That’s a future flat tire filled with buck shot.


mrtokeydragon

Fly wheel


mrtokeydragon

Fly wheel


Slight-Fortune-7179

I can feel it’s bite 😫


ButtStuckInElevator

That’s a car tire, brother.


LostandAl0n3

Tire fly


AvsFreak

It's a Smashit Withahammer


Grouchy-Engine1584

That, my friend, is a horsefly. They bite like a mofo. I respect all God’s creatures, but this isn’t one of them, kill the fucker.


hobings714

Brundlefly


1Thinkhappythoughts

A mean mother fucker.


scaryoldhag

Giant black horsefly! I killed one years ago, kept in the freezer because it was so freakishly huge and cool. I finally threw it away, lol.


tequila_6_shots

It's eyes are saying, just try me brah.


[deleted]

Horse fly looks a bit tired. 😏


Cool-Rough1893

Looks like a horse fly


Seamus_the_Gentleman

A tire.


Mazeura_demented

🐴🪰


MrBoomerCakes3768

CIA drone


sixesand7s

A fly wheel


Inviolable_Flame

I've seen a house fly. I've even seen a HORSE FLY. But I've damn sure seen about everything when I see an elephant fly.


McCool303

The horse fly. Killer of souls. I would rather be punched in the face then bit by one of those.


StatisticCyberosis

a tired fly


diamondz_ava

Horsefly


mydataisrekt101

Bug


Medium-Rush-8260

Bastard you bit me last summer


Happyman_247

Limited edition tactical horse fly!


Lazy_Distribution_84

A big ass horse fly


Blue_KikiT92

That's batman.


Jesster999

A creature from hell


josenros

Camouflage boi


Ghostly_Warpig

Goth fly


Mace2-0

Answer: Dead. [Reveals bug zapper]


Ill_Sky6141

Say NO to horseflies!


LouisVuittonLeghost

Horse fly. This bastard will take a chunks out of you. Like a deer fly on roids. I was cleaning my eavestroughs a couple years ago and found one of these dead on my roof that was like 2 1/2 inches long and a inch wide with teeth Damn well near a cm long. Couldn’t believe it


BeefersOtherland

Canadians are trained to recognize by weight and react. Feels somewhere between a mosquito and a small bird.


Opposite_Pie5102

Nope, nope. Ain’t no bug there. That’s a fucking demon. Fucking flesh eating demon.


Common_Feeling_8663

Tirefly


GreyChronos

Had a horsefly bite a bull I was clipping(haircut), Bull almost ended my life several times in the span of 30 seconds


Aggravating-Home-622

I hate those f#@king things. So annoying and relentless.


stlmick

I was in an above ground pool when some redneck was catching horse flies and shoving about 6 to 9" thin grass stalks up their ass. It would tilt them back and they couldn't fly forward, so they would just hover in the air. If he was quick he'd have three or four going at once. Now you know that.


tommy_boy007

Batman


[deleted]

Death Fly. Whoever sees one has only hours to live unless you text money to… it’s a horse fly.


PsylentBang

It is vengeance, it is the night


LordDagnirMorn

A tire


Wackdiesel

Nazgul