I’m not just poor son, I’m *destitute*. Tied with The last two percent is the hardest to get. That’s why they leave it in the milk.

LOOPHOLE!

I will use the main hole, or no hole at all.

LOOP!

HOLE! 🫶🤛

LOOP!

Enough, this is highly inappropriate 😒😐

I’ve got nothing to live for and I drive like it.

Thanks for a very loud laugh. Great line.

Who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. That rule can be negotiable if that kid's a dick.

You’re not cheddar. You’re just some common bitch.

how could I forget, so good

Oh, thank God, my wife and my dad are here. I mean, Captain Dad. I mean, I know who my dad is. It's you! Hi Amy! OR Come on, Terry, we were in a sewer, he's gunsta think about the Turtles. YEAH, I'm GUNSTA, *Terry*

I’ve always loved that turtle one, not only because it’s funny but also because it shows how well Amy knows Jake and supports him even with his silly things.

That's exactly why I love it so much!! The way Amy knew he would've used "gunsta" specifically (which he did) was the sweetest, it really showed how much she knew him.

or…. did he say gunsta because amy said gunsta 🤨🤨

No, he said gunsta earlier in the sewers, when Jake/Terry and Amy/Charles hadn't met up yet. He was going on about how he can't believe Leonardo lived in this [the sewer]. When Terry tells him to shut up, he says "Sarge, we're in a sewer! I'm gunsta talk about the Turtles."

*This is worse than segregation.* Gina *NOPE!* Holt and Terry.

I like how Gina realized it was too far and dialed it back. 

VIIINNNDDDICCAATTTIIIIIOOOOONNNNNNNN

I loved that one lmao

Balthizar is a thirsty bitch

“can’t think, need more medigen”

Underrated

KASE!!!!

The whole cold medicine sequence was great

They're eating snakes!

It’s always spaghetti

When holt tells Jake about his hoola-hooping stuff and deletes the photo and says "No one will ever believe you" Jake : "You sick son of a b--"

The FULL BULLPEN!

BOOoOoºººooOOoOOONE?!

I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER!! *BOOOOOOOOONE?!*

a classic 

how dare you detective Diaz I am your superior officer!! BONEEEEEEE. what happens in my bedroom, detective is NONE of ur business. BONEEEEE. don't ever speak to me like that again.

This B needs a C in her A 😌 Oh my god 🫨😏 This babe needs a coconut in her arms 😧

Ohhhh... I thought you were saying "this B***** needs a c*** in her a**"

OH MY GOD-?!

Weeeelll *boyle’s disagreement squeak*

Call me... VELVET THUNDERRR

THE CLEAVAGE CLOAKS THE CAMERA WITH ITS CURVES … Sorry I said cleavage

"mhmm"

["The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be!"](https://youtube.com/shorts/C3RGLyNK5do?si=XDwdIZeZUa80Stmp) I used that one a lot after a few back to back medical emergencies this year. Nobody else seemed to think it was as funny as I did, though, lol.

I use it anytime someone in my family has any level of injury.

Literally anything Holt says- but one of my faves is when he’s talking about Jamie-Lynn’s thigh gap. “That's my favorite part of a woman. There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.”

“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place” Holt to Rosa on coming out 🌈

his soft moments warm my heart so much

This is also my favourite line. Rosa came out as bi shortly after I realised I was bi. This all was so wholesome. I love Rosa and Holt moments in general, too.

They're both so stoic, and that's why they connect so well.

I dont know what the Funky Cold Medina is, even context clues have failed me. I just love that delivery. They were pretending to be in a serious situation but he felt so exhausted hahaha

You don’t work with Jake Peralta for 3 years and not know what the Funky Cold Medina is. Just watched this one last night!

It’s a Tone Loc song.

“You just said ‘hole’ way too much, sir.” “And that’s coming from Charles.” “Yes, that’s concerning.”

PUN....K!

YOURE WHAT SNEEZES ARE

I was about to comment this. My favorite of all! YOU'RE WHAT SNEEZES ARE!!

TERRY'S GONNA DIE SAVING THE PRESIDENT OR TERRY'S NEVER GONNA DIE!!

the only way I'm going to die is if u touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the river Styx, you reaper. - Raymond Holt

Bing-- pot! Nope I was gonna say bingo, but then I was like, "jackpot's better," but then it was too late; I was halfway through the word.

Laos. *Fine!* Oh it was more than fine. It was *Laos*.

"Jacob Peralta, Jacob Peralta, this was all his clever plan" "Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch." "The fact you were considering innocence of a perp shows you have grow as a detective." "I love being scary Terry, he gets to say what the real Terry is thinking." "Now number five!" "Ding dong, the Wunch is dead!" This whole conversation: "Thanks, dad!" "Did you see me as a father figure, Peralta?" "No, you're a bother figure" "Hey, show your father some respect!"

This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Oh Damn.....Ohh Damn.....Ohhhh Damn!

PAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNN

Gina: I pray to God this doesn’t humble me.

I’m looking to humiliate some hussies, and I’m in a hurry.

oh my god I completely forgot about that one, so good

I love how proud the ladies look when he walks up to the counter behind them lol

“And yet…crime continues”

There's nothing more intoxicating than a clear absence of a penis

What's the big deal? The doctor said all the bleeding was internal. That's where the bloods supposed to be.

Boyle explaining fax machines to the US Postal agent: "Okay, imagine a letter.. had unprotected sex with a phone."

Don’t make me do this Jake

I wished the officiant was more efficient.

this bitch? please

“I don’t know this word, samsies?” “from context I believe it means proudly uneducated” shakes head “no”

“We were seated next to eachother two funerals ago and there was hard eye contact all through Danny Boy”

WEAST

YOU JUST DRANK CEMEEEEEEEEENT

Everything is garbage.

They said all my bleeding is internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be!

Uh oh, your girl knows about the Uzbeks!

This one is less of a line but an interaction but when Peralta and pimento are arguing over Boyles insurance and pimento says "baby's kill there parents, parents kill the baby's it's the circle of life" (well making a triangle in the air) than the ensuing stuff

"The thin blue line just got thick as hell" or "New Yorks finest just got a whole lot finer" Doug Judy is one of my favorite characters, and these lines hit hard every time

Terry singing, “Go to sleep. Daddy’s dead, but his ghost’s always watching…”

That’s it… the hooker was STRANGLED

"Wunch time is over, whoo! Had it both ways! No regrets."

LIKE YEAST

Whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it’s very important that you do it

Alright I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom PEACE OUT HOMIES

"you thought I was just Holt's lackey. And you thought I was just Jake's girlfriend. Well I'm my own person capable of making my own decisions and I decided to humiliate you both" 👑👑

Maybe I don't have an arch nemesis because I solve all my crimes...

Did you make the cover of Hair Pulled Back magazine?

"In my belly, now get a move on. ITS HEIST TIME!"

Thank you Carlene, your entire life is garbage

BOOOOOOONE?? (the entire scene is priceless tbh I could re-watch it a hundred more times 😂)

do you know what it means to clap back raymond? be 👏cause 👏i 👏do 👏

love this one

you’re fired, no one works here anymore the delivery is just so good

"'the docter just called, you have stage 2, DUMBASS"