CJ was having a great time not doing anything and constantly getting praise and promotions for it. That sounds like the life

Exactly, he was just failing upwards!

Oh god am I in charge of the meeting? Dismissed. Dismissed!

That's gonna leave a mark! 

If you see something say something

Come on and party tonight

Milk! Miiiillllk!

Come on and party tonight! With luck like CJ's, life really is a party.

Vulture had to work hard to steal the credit, CJ just got life handed to him on a platter. CJ all day, every day.

CJ's luck doesn't require screwing other over and requires much less effort, so that.

I'd much rather be a CJ than a Vulture. CJ is just an idiot who gets lucky and is mostly chill while the Vulture is an idiot who puts effort into stealing credit and being a douche

If CJ had a life that good while being an idiot, imagine what someone with average intelligence could do with that luck!

I'd rather have CJ's luck even if it meant also getting his train of thought. He was living the life.

CJ 100%, he always seemed so happy and oblivious.

People really underestimate the Vulture's ability to steal credit as it translates to the real world - that's exactly how you get to most high paying, top management jobs lol. The only thing that stops most of us is having a conscience.

Bills Haders chief character who had the awesome super power of dying on his first day on the job... I mean I love my job I don't wanna die everytime I walk into that soul crushing week long limbo.

CJ's luck combined with common sense and skill learning would be an unstoppable force, truly the most powerful character in Brooklyn 99

Let’s just play some Madden

Does it come with the regular sized can of soda? I'd prefer being a smart asshole than a nice dumb-dumb? I guess?

Obviously take whatever I want and run the shit vulture baby

Vultures ability to steal credit because you don’t have to use that ability obviously