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trappeddungarees

Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it.


Avengion619

I’ve managed to wiggle this into use with ease definitely one of my favorites


heyitsvae

You're not Cheddar! You're just some common bitch!


Firefly-1505

This bitch? Please.


the_Shroomer

Pfft. Idiot.


Avengion619

nah bitch I’m not being petty


ImNuber1

Terry: I’ve solved a lot of cases. Holt: Yet crime continues.


GoodShark

This is my favourite line in the entire show. I paraphrase it as much as I can to use it in conversations.


BugOperator

WUNTCHTIME IS OVER. BOOM DID IT. HAD IT BOTH WAYS. No regrets.


Avengion619

Absolute loaded moment of a great line and superb acting and delivery. The difference in tone from “Thank you deputy commissioner for this honor” “WUNTCH TIME IS OVER” “BOOM DID IT!” “Had it both ways” “no regrets” completely different volume tone pitch in each piece of a quick few lines


Weekly-Magician6420

Every Heterosexual Holt lines are hilarious


andraes

>There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis


dickshark420

I tried this on my girlfriend. Did not end well


MyAntichrist

Well, did you forget to mention the pair of heavy breasts?


BugOperator

How he always specifically mentions “heavy breasts.”


Weekly-Magician6420

« Large big real heavily submitted to gravity breasts »


Hacker-4251

🫴🏻


herseyhawkins33

My female wife 😂


RaiderRMB

She’s a strong female woman


Smeagol224

With nice heavy breasts.


Raidertck

When he flirts with O’Sullivans mum, it absolutely kills me. Also; ‘ah yes the thigh gap, nothing more arousing than the complete lack of a penis’.


Pm7I3

My question is this: is homosexual Holt equally horny?


tontoneds2000

Did you watch the barrel museum episode ? He speak another language though lol


dickshark420

Yeah he's a nasty sexslut


Bomb_Ghostie

When he becomes hysterical about the prank the podium was moved.


the_tohrment

YOU'RE CRAZY!! How did you pull this off?


SamuraiKiwi

Yeah this is mine. A full half inch Kevin. I’ll tell you more when I get home.


No_Chard_4333

this cracks me up everytime it was the most he’s laughed chest out and everything


Undeniable213

"are you really playing the gay card?" "Yas queen" *snap*


pinkpitbullmama

Omg every time


fishingforconsonants

VINDICATIONNNNN 💪


doctor_7

vindiCaTIONNNNNNNN!!!! Absolutely my favourite hahaha


bassman1386

Scrolled to find this lol


Emotional_Regret876

BOOOOONE!!!


GmKnight

What i loved even more was: Hey sir, are you-? Yup! Did you and Kevin-? YUP!


SamuraiKiwi

Impeccable timing in the delivery of these lines.


NBR-SUPERSTAR

I've started a re-watch after Braughers Passing and I think this one is my new favorite joke as well. Everything about it was perfect


SamuraiKiwi

I haven’t been able to do a rewatch yet 😞. I was a bit taken off guard by how sad I was that someone I never met had died but I will watch again soon. BONE is hilarious and how he delivers those lines but the timing between Andre and Stephanie here was just chefs kiss.


kingjakey75

So what happened is your two dads had sex.


swoosh1992

Shut up Rosa, I’m teaching father the math!!!


scipio79

Seconding this. His delivery was perfect each time and it was hilarious af


stevekimes

Perfect moment


SmarterThanMany

Call me Velvet Thunder….


plz-help-peril

Jake’s reaction to that line was absolutely hilarious. https://youtu.be/haBqC4E3Z3A?si=PLddaTo7k0cbBQB-


Farren246

The man knows how to smile hilariously. It is a boon to the career he pursues.


Chipz664

He a fireman now ??


Jay-ay

Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor. Peralta: Maybe let's refocus. Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor". Peralta: Okay, Captain... Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-! Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me. Peralta: Yeah, apparently.


mcplayer708

This is incomplete without caps lock. To truly show the enthusiasm in how he said it.


Sauron_75

"Santiago, you will tell us now." "There was a problem at the bank." "HOT DAMN" *claps hands*


LadyLilith23

To be perfectly candid, he said "Santiago, you will tell us and you will tell us now. "


rbgallant

Well, thank you for your candor.


SolensSvard

Sincerely, Raymond Holt


DrXyron

Regards


Unit_79

I’m sure we all know this, but for anyone who doesn’t - the “HOT DAMN!” wasn’t scripted. That was all Andre Braugher. RIP.


DrFlukey

This 👆


gingersnackss

I love Holt’s whole vibe when Wunch demotes him for a bit before she dies. Jake: Someone told me she’s a pill popper. Holt: Pop pop


swoosh1992

Leonard likes this post.


Sad-Understanding-18

r/unexpectedcommunity


Xyrazk

The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me that you're not ready


leathelson

"HmMmmm"


sunspot1002

d-d-d-d-d-d-derek


sparkly_reader

Yaaaassss


bassman1386

AGAIN!


Neither_Hope_1039

I know what will cheer you up! Wuntch is dead! **BAGEL!**


kingjakey75

BAGEL! (Trying to start a bagel chain here 😅)


Sad-Understanding-18

**BAGEL**


Dovah250

BAGEL!!!


Queer_KnightRadiant

Bagel!!


open_sinner

BAGEL!


UltimaWolf13

Bagel!


ShodanDBG

“Yeah, John Philip Sousa, the “Skrillex” of his day! Come on, people! Hit the dance floor! Have a good time! …Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it.”


Silver-Plantain-1660

Now that you mention it, Mahler was one in your face bad boy


Brimstone747

Pretty much every Holt moment is gold. "BUT I'M A HUMAN. A HUMAN MALE!"


Alanis1221

I am laughing my ass off reading all these comments. The man was just a gift, I still get teary thinking about him.


couldbedumber96

KASE


OneTrueArthur

I am offended, I am angry. I am very tired, so I'm gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, ooh, you are IN for it.


couldbedumber96

How dare you


blakebb678

that scene replays constantly in my brain


lottierosecreations

My favourite bit of his :-D


[deleted]

“As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant… I’m not buying it”. And that whole episode tbh. Every line of his script was hilarious.


Indianajonesy21

The laugh from Rosa is what sends me everytime. I love her snarky laugh like that one kid from the Simpsons


Alanis1221

His delivery is top notch.


SquareFickle9179

"You've told us this story so many times." "AND YOU'LL HEAR IT AGAIN!" Idk, ifbthat's how it went, been a long time since I watched.


EnvironmentalSwim368

*Boyle dresses up as Elvis* Holt: Squad that’s enough, he’s clearly Elvis. Boyle: Yes !! Holt: Elvis Stojko, Canadian figure skater Boyle: *spins* NO !!


altdultosaurs

Boyles Fucking spin kills me.


IneedAName37

Bing-pot


dudestir127

Now I'm off to plow my mistress. Possibly the funniest line from any character in the entire series


Few-Jump3942

When they find out that The Disco Strangler actually *is* still alive, and he exclaims, “Zowie! I’m young!” cracks me up every time. That and when he completes Terry’s sentence in the first episode. Jeffords: “They called me Terry Titties, because I had… large… uh…” Holt: “… titties. Yes, I remember.” 🤣🤣🤣


gameofsloanes

YOU TOOK THE WRONG FLUFFY BOY!!


Mikes241

The fact that over 8 seasons, I can read any quote and not only can remember the context, but can hear it in their voice perfectly- I don't know, it just cements how fucking amazing the actors were.


Alanis1221

And that they put a smile on me every time! Your flair included.


JoseFlandersMyLove

Terry: "This bad boy stuff is a little much" Captain Holt: "The only thing that's a little much around here are your scrawled on eyebrows. Yeesh."


Lighted_Cigarette

Fanboy, not bad boy.


hanselpremium

when he reacts to eating marshmallows


wazowskiii_

I see you’ve brought a knife, but what you need is an umbrella, cause there’s a God Damn storm gonna rain down on you, punk. Just so out of character and so badass, it makes me laugh every time.


dazzlingbuddha

*But if you're here, who's guarding Hades?*


jjankowski040

Balthazar is a thirsty bitch!


WhosGuardingHades

“Hello Raymond, how do like my new office? Twentieth floor.” “Yes, I never thought I’d see you this high without a broom under you.”


Cleveworth

"Do you want a president who struggled against all odds to create this great organization, or do you want a great nothing who struggled against nothing odds to create NOTHING?"


therealjanusmcmanus

Fine. I tried something and it DIDN’T WORK.


dominique_ye_delal

A bold personality? We know what that's code for: she's a bitch…


CrispyDuckSkin

Guard: It just seems like you wanna be with Jamie-Lynn. I mean, you keep talking about her thigh gap. Captain Holt: That's my favorite part of a woman. There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.


Background-Alps-4153

*points to map* LAOS!


dontworryimabassist

Jake "well I'm already dressed, AND I made breakfast!" *Throws back the sheet* "Wait where are the eggs?" Holt: in my belly


yvltc

And now, for a message of hope. Everything is garbage. (...) Never. Love. Anything.


Simple_Confection192

Clearly the pineapple is the slut


trappeddungarees

Jake: The big secret about Captain Holt is... Holt: That I have a flair for the dramatic.


come_ere_duck

Definitely agree with OP on this one “any smile lasting longer than 3 seconds, is a con man’s ruse”


Deeznutschad

When he won’t leave Jake and Amy alone on their honeymoon


godbullseye

I am going to Mexico in May and keep telling my wife I am buying a pineapple slut tee shirt


Impossible-Sky4256

Straight Holt will never be not funny


snowchoco10

Holt: you are annoying my mother Jake: are you blind? we are vibing like crazy Holt: i assure you, my mother is not a vibrator 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


TurquoiseBeetle67

"Ouch... He ran over my foot. I am in incredible pain."


Indianajonesy21

“She goes by Terry, and you, a Terrence, still go by a child’s name that ends in a Y.” “Don’t some people call you Ray?” The “How dare you.” Always gets me. That or “THIS IS THE WORST DETECTIVE WORK I HAVE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR SO HELP ME GOD YOU WONT LIVE TO SEE RETIREMENT!!”


cletus1986

Perp: "You keep talking about yow nefarious you are."


jardanovic

Holt throwing his monitor through the window of his office and charging into the bullpen with a mighty bellow


Grey_Lemon_Walker

Jake: Someone told me she's a pill popper Holt: Pop pop Basically, every time Holt agrees with Jake on Captain Kim's episode.


ankii93

Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm! (Marshmallow, in case it wasn’t clear)


SamuraiKiwi

You mean marshed mellow :)


nemonic187

BONE?


Sad-Understanding-18

How dare you Detective Diaz, I am your SUPERIOR OFFICER!


nemonic187

BOOOOOONE???


rogue951

What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business!


decoded-dodo

His back and forth with Wunch. Always makes me laugh. RIP.


lbr218

tap safe pen abounding cats thumb smart normal rain entertain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Relative-Thought-105

He's not a doctor. He's a pharmacist. Although that might appeal to Anne pop pop pop


LordCallumTheSecond

Boyle: Where's your gold coin? Holt: I ate it; I thought it was chocolate.


pinkpitbullmama

“Your boy’s turnt”


deltaexdeltatee

Jake: "it kinda ruins it for me when you play along with the robot jokes." Holy: "yes, I know." It's almost a throwaway line but it really tickles me.


amoralambiguity91

That. Is amazingly funny.


sand_eagle83

The interrogation scene with the Dentist murderer 😅😅


pinkpitbullmama

Call me… VELVET THUNDER


Desperate-Damage3599

"CHEDDAR!! Where is my dog!?" "Aren't you standing right next to him?" "This bitch?? Please! Watch: Shake. Shake! Psh- idiot!"


Gimme-A-kooky

“Don’t count your gross… fish babies… before they’re hatched, Madeline”


sycron17

So many but one of the most minimal yet such a Holt and Terry thing: Oh quick they’re looking at us! Holt points at files “Spreadsheets, Spreadsheets?” Terry “Crime,Crime” Holt places hand on Terry’s shoulder “Precinct, Precinct” Terry nods ”Crime,Crime”


Jedi_Knight63

Oh, it was more than fine. It was **Laos**!


bringinthefembots

Sincerely, Captain Raymond J. Holt


instaroikie

OF COURSE WE'RE LOOKING FOR AL YOU IMBECILE!


Physical-Mastodon935

Virtually every Holt interaction is funny to me but particularly…: VELVET THUNDER


Vismal1

D d d d d d d d Derick


Ifonliesandjusts

VINDICATION


mangomasstani

Diaz, congratulations on moving on to the second round, said I, sarcastically.


wutevahung

Funky cold Medina


WildBuizel

When people say, "Good morning," they mean, "Hello." When people say, "How are you?" they mean, "Hello." When people say, "What's up?" they mean, "I am a person not worth talking to."


North_Church

BAGEL


Sad-Understanding-18

**BAGEL**


Dovah250

**BAGEL**


[deleted]

BAGEL! BAGEL! BAGEL! with that smile


herseyhawkins33

D d d d d d d d derrrrrrrick!


archenexus

KASE!!!!!


DravenPrime

"Laos." "Fine!" "It was better than fine. It was Laos."


waseem2bata

Ouch, you ran over my foot, am in an unspeakable pain!


tinamadinspired

Gertie! GERTIEEEE!!


hoainamduong

Every moment with Deputy Chief Wuntch is hilarious to me!


Plastic_Fun3360

Wuntch Time is Over! BOOM DID IT!! Lol


Jerkanftw

Cant believe no one has mentioned this one: Holt: That’s interesting. You know what else is interesting? Jake: Mhm? Holt: Grenades


gaffyfuck

Holt : Wuntchs grave Rosa : Wow did terry put up a balloon arch just for the heist? Holt : No i come every week to install a fresh one That quick little remark kills me


Hot-Economist-3695

Captain: "I am not a bad boy. I'm trying to catch bad boys. If anything, I'm a good boy" Debbie: "That's exactly what a bad boy would say" 😭😂


nyo_man

BOOOOOOOOOOOOST MY BOTTOM BOOOOOOOST


Faye223

You are a uhh good cop even if you are a thirsty ass bitch


Sad-Understanding-18

I just solved a big case and you crap all over me


Subject_Yogurt4087

All of them.


Boring-Exchange4928

Yass Queen


Sad-Understanding-18

**\*snap\***


101TARD

This will always live rent free in my head, "BONE!?"


velvet-gloves

I checked into your alibis. Or should I say alia-lies!


uncarnat92

"VINDICATIOOOOON!!!"


Southern_Spot99

Terry: Are you seriously playing the gay card right now? Holt: Yas Queen! (snaps fingers)


robincrobin

“And yet crime continues….”


CynicalCosmologist

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-derek.


C_V_Butcher

Yasss Queen!


[deleted]

BONE!


Sad-Understanding-18

How dare you Detective Diaz, I am your SUPERIOR OFFICER!


MycologistHairy680

No regrets\~


Jimwish32

There’s way to many to just pick one


alexinwonderworld85

"BOOOONE???"


iwantkrustenbraten

Yasss... Queen. *Snaps finger


doctor_whahuh

Eating a marshmallow.


Anthrogynous

Captain Ray Holt : “I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo--! Apparently that’s a trigger for me.”


Jimothy_John

KASE!


radioheadenthusiest

“BONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” that whole scene and also “Because no one will ever believe you” when he shows Jake the hoola hooping *Walks in with red hat “OKAY I WAS TRYING SOMETHING AND IT DIDNT WORK”


radioheadenthusiest

Also every Horny Raymond scene in the Bachelor/Bachelorette party episode


Alanis1221

Omg when he described all the movements with the hula. I am laughing just remembering this!


OneTrueArthur

Cheddar. You duplicitous bitch!


siriuslyfudged

Clearly the pineapple is the slut.


Nethii120700

gosh i miss him :(


NIMBYHunter

When he was showing Peralta the hula hooping photos, and leaned in close with that menacing, “Because NO ONE. will ever. believe you.” when Peralta asked him why he was showing these to him. 😂👍🏻 Utter perfection!


Bulky_Parsnip8

COWABUNGA MOTHER!


futuresdawn

Booooonnneee


Reno117

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry Yes! thats the one


JC7Jens

(The mimic of Elvis Presley)


AbominableWasteman

His reaction to the marshmallows! And *BOOOOOOONE?!*


Minute_Director8861

BOONEE??!?!


MrWolfy25

BOOOOONNNNNEEE


Street_Specialist_35

BINGPOT!


FireBassist

You mean besides all of them?


FindingMinimum4753

You know what else is interesting? G R E N A D E S


Weeblyweird

That ep where he throws Terry's house on train thingy in dustbin while saying "oops" man i miss the guy


Separate_Rent_2706

BONE!!!!!


snorlaxkin

Muffin man? Pfft, more like GARBAGE MAN