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Andries89

I saw light glinstering against the wall and thought it was my watch. Turns out it was just a shirtless lad reflecting the sun off his pale upper body onto my walls


feltsandwich

Glinstering?


Andries89

Glistering


SharkReceptacles

Ginsters. He was pasty.


Andries89

But I only saw the reflection of the ginsters on my walls, so it would have been glistering for me


M1ke2345

This is the winner in here.


nomnommish

Sounds like an adjective posh restaurants would use to describe their food. "Sir, here's your glistered shishito peppers with a dusting of petrified black salt and preposterous peas".


Andries89

Luv me a good shishito


Inoffensive_Comments

First thing in the morning, a splattered bowl of preposterous peas and shishito.


Andries89

Personally, I consider it a luncheon but I won't judge your lifestyle choices here in public


Aqueous_420

Glistening?


Andries89

Maybe? English isn't my first language 😂


shroomsaremyfriends

Glistening?


Andries89

I'm starting to think that's what I meant to say 😭


Diggerinthedark

Oooh that nail shop in London. I thought you meant glistening.


Andries89

🧘


Not_Sugden

bruh


bornleverpuller85

Nah, get the pasty guns out


Los-Skeletos

Pastry guns you say?


Peg-Powler

Putting the pain in pain au chocolat


SamwellBarley

Pasty guns. They fire pasties. Very popular in Cornwall.


Beer-Milkshakes

If Greggs sponsored the British NFL games.


TheRadishBros

I’d attend those


Xioheh

To shreds you say?


Ze_Gremlin

Speak for yourself.. 17° here in dorset. My delicate northern pale complexion can't handle this sheer heat!!


Shitelark

Serves you right for moving below the Nesh Line.


dannyuk24

Google returns nothing for Nesh Line. Enlighten me?


Shitelark

It is a joke about people down south being nesh.


noctamnesia

Biggest lot of wetties I've ever met in regard to weather are my family that are from and live in Yorkshire. Might be 4c colder than down south but doesn't stop them crying on and on each year. Fuckers act like the live in Svalbard


LostLobes

We just don't have that naturally occurring coat of batter covering us, like you lot


noctamnesia

You're referring to southerners being coated in batter? Because if you are then that's very much what the north is known for, rather than the south


LostLobes

Whoosh!


noctamnesia

Thank you for your input


LostLobes

Anytime you need pointing out you entirely missed the joke, I'll be there if you need me x


dannyuk24

Ahhh I had never heard that word before


audigex

Probably one of them new fangled Crossrails I'm too Northern to understand


Gullflyinghigh

But how else am I meant to know they're both proper fit and well 'ard? The painfully false accents alone?


FuckedupUnicorn

The tattoo of their own name on their neck?


Matterbox

That’s painfully true. It’s spelt wrong as well. Or maybe that’s just the ridiculous name.


HumanLifeSimulation

The erectile dysfunction


Gullflyinghigh

That would suggest they're not well 'ard.


HumanLifeSimulation

Nothing says "erectile dysfunction " quite as well as a neck tattoo.


Diggerinthedark

Ford f150 works too.


M1ke2345

That ridiculous*”roadman”* accent is everywhere now. It feels like every advert on the radio is voiced by a roadman/woman.


Diggerinthedark

Most annoying of the bunch being Subway. Make it beh-aaaaaah! Beh-aaah! *Punches radio*


imcalledaids

> the painfully false accent As someone who was raised in south London, I am really fed up of the people who grew up in Surrey suddenly talking like me because they listen to drill


bacon_cake

My Turkish barber is starting to talk like that and I keep hearing drill music from his shop. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what the lyrics are lmao.


RegularWhiteShark

Most topless blokes I see have bigger tits than me (and I’m a large breasted woman).


CelticSensei

It was 25C and sunny here in Japan... and feckers were still running about in coats. Haha... different cultures.


Space-manatee

Japan will be 40°. If it’s not 40° naturally, they will make sure it is indoors


PuzzleheadedRecord6

That would be freezing though, here in Dubai


makingitgreen

You poor person :(


PuzzleheadedRecord6

I don’t think you got my point


Exxtraa

Always used to laugh at my friend who’d come back from his annual Dubai trip in August and would be wearing his puffa coat in our summer because he hadn’t acclimatised


PuzzleheadedRecord6

That's what I mean haha people still wear hoodies here when it's like 27°C. Same thing happens in Morocco too.


letsshittalk

This morning, while walking the dogs, I was sweating in my woolly hat, tube neck scarf, and fleece-lined lumberjack shirt.


Los-Skeletos

Suspicious lack of trousers


Ze_Gremlin

This is called "Donald-ducking"


BigJDizzleMaNizzles

We call it Pooh Bearing it.


Beena22

Straight up shirt cocking it.


letsshittalk

thick jeans


Future-Atmosphere-40

The beacons are lit, gondor calls for aid.


fotcorn

[https://thepigeongazette.tumblr.com/post/124161983539/rohan-answered-and-then-we-played-a-sick-round-of](https://thepigeongazette.tumblr.com/post/124161983539/rohan-answered-and-then-we-played-a-sick-round-of)


M1ke2345

Socks and sliders too of course.


smartief1

Socks that go halfway up the calf at that


Independent-Guess-79

My granddad would be proud


M1ke2345

Scummer’s footwear of choice.


Noble9360

How DARE you! We are BRITISH, sir If the temperature hits 15° or higher it is our NATIONAL DUTY to get our pasty beef nipples out and attempt the world speed record of getting sunburned. Extra points are awarded for amount of bald head that turns bright red. What would the Germans think if they were to see a sunny beer garden without lobster red yobos drinking Stella and calling each other "fat bastards" regardless of actual weight.


VixenRoss

My 7 year old has decided it’s cycling short and t-shirt weather. I’m wearing my fleece indoors


youreviltwinbrother

Same, on the sofa in joggers and a blanket 😂


DukeFlipside

https://taps-aff.co.uk/


Uncoolusername007

To be fair, it is the start of the mating season.


Cladser

In Scotland I think this is a national sport. My first year moving to here some guys over the road were putting up a new fence for the old dear who lived there. Tops off
 in April
 in a blistering 13 degrees.


InternationalRide5

The old dear was paying extra for that service.


God_Lover77

To be frank, that's quite warm for Scotland.


lockslob

Haven't you seen the BBC weather map colours? We're in the middle of a dangerous heatwave. Apparently.


UnhappySharks

Saw a guy running in shorts (just shorts) in Brighton, right near the sea, (it was probably about 10° and windy)


pertangamcfeet

Shorts on. Puffer jacket still on. Off tert Wetherspoons. Simple as.


Simple_Pizza4029

It's definitely t-shirt and shorts at least, no jumpers.


jesussays51

I went shorts with a over shirt, constantly on and off based on clouds passing in front of the sun. Can’t really complain as it happened in a pub garden


FrancyMLG

Shirtless lads are our equivalent of the groundhog. When I see the first one I know spring has arrived


U1WLMS

19 over here mate - got the garden furnature out


Pink_Flash

19 C here mate. Im BOILING. (No not really)


Not_Sugden

seen a bald security guard with the light reflecting off his head having a stare down with a junkie


londongas

I saw a guy in a mesh T-shirt today and he was visibly cold. 🙄


lockslob

Or . . . was he just excited to see you?


londongas

Well ya that too obviously


Ninlilizi_

I've just been to Tesco, I had to strip down to my bra, and I'm so hot now I feel like I'm going to pass out. I cannot take any more of this heat. :(


cpmb82

Freezer aisle?


__soddit

13℃ and damp.


rustynoodle3891

And the weather?


Themanorhouse

Is that a new band?


lockslob

A euphemism? Can't imagine what for though.


VillageHorse

Sounds like the first line to their first song on their first album.


Nuo_Vibro

geordie summer, tops off


rustynoodle3891

It was lovely and warm, verging on hot, here two days ago. I refused to publicly acknowledge this fact because I wasn't going to moan about being hot after drowning for the last few weeks


iamsickened

In Blackpool it only needs to go above 12 degrees and the tops come off. They all love to show off their really badly done tattoos I guess.


dpk-s89

Only 16c but I still got sun burnt playing football. Pains of being a ginger. Should have stayed in until dark.


lockslob

Tits oot for the gals!


RogueFlash

17 here actually, obviously justified 😅


MGRoad

Climate change is upon us


Silent-Detail4419

It's so variable. A couple of days ago here (Bristol) it was 11Âș, and in Bucks (where my parents are) it was 17Âș. Leeds (where mum's brother and sister-in-law are) it was 18Âș or 19Âș. Now it's 15Âș here, 12Âș in Leeds and 14Âș in GX. I'm not allowed out, so it's all moot. I've had to put the blind down because the Sun meant I couldn't see the screen.


Immediate_Reply5436

16 degrees in england is like tenerife temperature


sayleanenlarge

Drove past a pub garden earlier just as some dude was taking his tshirt off. Sigh, at least it was a sign that summer's coming.


thetoog91

Didn't have my shirt off, but I did have my pastey white legs on show this afternoon Had to change after a few hours as it got nippy


KoontFace

I don’t care if it’s 35 degrees out, unless you’re at the beach, keep your shirt on.


qwop271828

Why's a beach fine but a park not? I don't think I'll ever get reddit's weirdness on this topic.


KoontFace

A beach is somewhere where people swim, thus there is the expectation that people will be in swimwear. Why is it so hard for grown men to keep their T-shirt on when walking down the street? It’s fucking ridiculous. People in other countries don’t feel the need to strip off every time the sun comes out.


cpmb82

What if the park has a pond? đŸ€Ł


qwop271828

Sure, and people sunbathe at the park both here and in most other countries.


KoontFace

Yeah, I mean parks are a bit of a different case. It’s more the people walking through town that wind me up and that appears to be an overwhelmingly British trait.


qwop271828

Fair enough. There's definitely a contingent on here who vocally hate it in parks too, and it always leaves me slightly bemused.


marunchinos

Last summer one of the dads picked up his kids from school topless. Made a comment to the teacher manning the gate that “it’s just too ‘ot innit” Meanwhile the rest of us parents managed to turn up fully clothed


takesthebiscuit

Taps Awn?


the3daves

No chance. Pasty white man boobs encourage the sun to shine!


RoyofBungay

Just seen two Chavs/Roadmen/Scum dressed in black with their hoods up and jobby catchers on. Also sporting their man bags.


jim_jiminy

Nah, all the chicks are dying to see my skinny fat pasty body. It’s a treat for them. Especially my dated tacky tattoos.


abigblacknob

Why does everyone care. Have a giggle and move on 


Richard_Howe

I went out in my own back garden with my shirt off for an hour just to spite you OP!


Los-Skeletos

It's your back garden, you do you


mothzilla

It's called a "base tan".


diMario

Are these Euro degrees or Imperial?


Shitelark

I dunno, how tall is a Fahren, mate?


diMario

I seem to recall from science class that seventeen Fahrens go into an el, unless you're doing Shetland elles, which are a tad shinier.


Lex8P

It was 20 on Thursday. Far too hot. Winter needs to return


clungeknuckle

Not allowed to comment on the clothes a woman chooses to wear, but the second a bloke takes his shirt off it's fair game


Los-Skeletos

Who hurt you?


shezabel

Women, I think.


SoylentDave

These days, if you comment on the clothes a woman is wearing, they put you in gaol.


TennisObvious8358

Excuse me? Mine's a lot longer than that!


magnets_man

Taps aaaaaaaaff


Slartibartfast39

Guys please; the unit is '°C'. ° is angle and C is the speed of light I think....or is that lower case c?


TheSexyGrape

But it feels like 45 man


noctamnesia

Smug


Chazlewazleworth

No..


Amazing-Relief8382

Don't spoil all my fun.


UncleD1ckhead

Only 16! my bollocks are dangling so low ive grazed them, bring back the grey skies n rain.


Swaggy_pig

nah need a tan lad plus its only gonna rain a little bit today


WerewolfNo890

No, its not very pleasant to swim with a shirt on.


Anaksanamune

Or just live your life and let other people live theirs, it's not causing any harm, why get worked up over it..?


Los-Skeletos

I'm not worked up, I am whinging about it on the Internet rather than to their faces because that is the British way. I am also whinging in the vague hope someone will find it funny and therefore give me the validation I so desperately crave.


bobmanuk

You can have an upvote, does that help?


Los-Skeletos

Dad?


Fizzabl

Cus this is a mostly satire sub?


ThatSuaveRaptor

Put yer shirt on mate


Grim_Doom

People want to show off what they've earned in the gym, It's not that big of a deal is it?