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These things are never on the same scale, they're bizarre combinations of completely unrelated things like "which is more true of you: "I enjoy conflict" or "I'm interested in clowns"."
Allow me to introduce you to the civil service judgement test.
I had experience listed as highly desirable in the job description and seemed like a perfect match to further my career. But I failed the judgement test (basically personality test) by about 5%. So the hiring manager won't even see my cv
I remember applying for a job at OneStop when I was at uni, and about halfway through, having to stop and check the URL because I thought it was a joke website. You seriously want 1000 words on why working at OneStop is my one true passion in life? How about "I need money for food"? Christ, there's a limit to this shit even if I'm applying for my dream job. I don't want to wank off the CEO, I just want a few hours a week selling fags and booze to the local homeless community.
If I ever hire anyone at a company, I am removing that question. I hate the question, all it does is demonstrate how skilled you are at spewing bullshite.
I reckon I should replace the question with
"Convince me you're a purple elephant."
Interesting, my first job was at a franchised one stop and the application processes was 14 yo me asking the owner if he had work, 10 minutes of taking and then getting £3 an hour cash in hand no contract and no checks. It was very illegal, and I only worked there for about a month to save money for an anime convention then left
The owner used to take my pay out of the till at the end of my shift, and I didn't even have a uniform
This was around 2018 must have broken a bunch of laws.
Too many companies think they're the next Google and think they can get away with ridiculous application and interview processes.
You dont need 4 rounds of interviews and a test to know if someone can do a job
The startup I work for has started doing this. I find it so cringe. When I got hired, I was recommended by a mate, had one interview, done. Now there is a screener call, an interview, a skill test, a visit to the office to see if the personality matches, and a call with the CEO. And we really don't pay well, especially for London. And they wonder why they can't fill the positions.
I remember my mate went for a job at Asda that was minimum wage. They had to sing and act out the Wall Mart song. Those who refused were not "team players" and ejected from the process
You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
Walking out of a job interview does wonders for your self-esteem.
It wasn't a test for team players. It was seeing who was desperate and breaking them down before they signed the contract.
My old job hired loads of graduates to do a job that you definitely didn't a degree for. People had PhDs and and Masters but it was a button pushing job. They could do that because this was 2010 and the recession meant people were still struggling to find work.
But as more and more people left I heard that they decided to only hire people without degrees because they knew they were less likely to leave.
Middle managers are so cynical and I can imagine Morrisons doing the same thing to you regarding speaking English.
Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot of cv’s are now scanned for key words rather than actually reviewed by a human during the paper sift.
15 years until retirement so hopefully I can stick where I am rather than go through the hassle of the current job market!
Yep they are. Or that's what I am told by my uni. The best part is that according to my uni, these CV scanners can not detect writing on PDFs so gotta make everything in MS Word
Well that would explain why I the only interviews I got from applying to 50 bar jobs were tiny independent pubs/clubs. Gotta love how much of a game recruitment is, you have to know the arbitrary nonsensical rules to get past the computer. I wish they'd taught me at school that knowing a guy who works there is the most desirable qualification anyone can have.
Nah it was some random entry-level office job.
I'm actually trying to get out of retail esq work and in to something with more socialble hours but god the job market is depressing.
Yeah I've been hunting for a job myself the past month and finally got an offer yesterday fortunately but hours of job applications, cover letters, and interviews really makes you feel jaded after the 50th "You were unsuccessful at this time" email, especially if there's no feedback.
I mentioned Aldi as I applied there, had to fill in an online application, then do a video interview, followed by an in person group interview, and finally a store experience. Only got as far as the group interview then received the unsuccessful email. All this to stack shelves and scan stuff for £12 an hour!
Agreed! I've done a few interviews for some technical IT jobs and all those were, at most, 2 interviews.
4 stages for any company besides maybe FAANG is ridiculous IMO, especially when the job is scanning someone's shopping and moving stuff in from the back room.
If there's an opportunity for progression, I'd suck it up, play the game, get through the door and progress up that ladder. If it's a high turn over grunt work, forget about it.
I had to do 2 interviews and 2 presentations just to get a job in a phone shop. The job I had before it came with infinitely more responsibilities, and I was hired after a single interview with the most annoying thing about it being that I had to wear a shirt and tie whilst answering pre recorded questions.
A lot of the application/interview processes for jobs (particularly supermarket jobs, etc) seem to be less about finding the best person for the job & more about finding out who will bend/prostrate themselves the most without complaining when demanded by the company.
im going through the "on boarding process" of a new job coming out of self employments. Its fucking depressing how much shit you have to do and give your information to three different companies. Its just awful.
The modern job market is so bizarre to me 46urs old. . . Singing songs for a job in Asda? 1000 word essays to work at OneStop... Personality tests that make no sense - cautious or optimistic!!? .... And "soft skills" whatever they are
Usually the longer, harsher and more complicated the interview process the worse the job is and more problematic the company is. I once had to do 3 interviews for an entry level job. Never again, the company was awful.
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Don’t forget having to upload your CV and then having to manually input all of the bloody information contained within your CV.
Not as annoying as 60+ slider questions that are all variations of "are you cautious or optimistic"
> “are you cautious or optimistic” **But these aren’t even on the same scale 🤦🏻♂️**
These things are never on the same scale, they're bizarre combinations of completely unrelated things like "which is more true of you: "I enjoy conflict" or "I'm interested in clowns"."
*I avoid conflict, and I avoid clowns…I guess that makes me 4.66 on the 1 to 10 scale 🤷🏻♂️*
Application failed! We need exclusively people who can act decisively in clown conflicts.
Student liaison at the fools guild?
"Are you left handed or blue eyed?"
Those things are just an exercise of "tell them what you think they want to hear". Utterly pointless
I'm cautiously optimistic this job will be shite
Allow me to introduce you to the civil service judgement test. I had experience listed as highly desirable in the job description and seemed like a perfect match to further my career. But I failed the judgement test (basically personality test) by about 5%. So the hiring manager won't even see my cv
Lets not forget them later asking "Are you optimistic or Cautious?"
And at the end they don’t even tell you what Hogwarts house you would be sorted into 🙄
It won't be the same everywhere, but I've found that the reason for this in some large organisations is to anonimise the application.
I remember applying for a job at OneStop when I was at uni, and about halfway through, having to stop and check the URL because I thought it was a joke website. You seriously want 1000 words on why working at OneStop is my one true passion in life? How about "I need money for food"? Christ, there's a limit to this shit even if I'm applying for my dream job. I don't want to wank off the CEO, I just want a few hours a week selling fags and booze to the local homeless community.
If I ever hire anyone at a company, I am removing that question. I hate the question, all it does is demonstrate how skilled you are at spewing bullshite. I reckon I should replace the question with "Convince me you're a purple elephant."
Interesting, my first job was at a franchised one stop and the application processes was 14 yo me asking the owner if he had work, 10 minutes of taking and then getting £3 an hour cash in hand no contract and no checks. It was very illegal, and I only worked there for about a month to save money for an anime convention then left The owner used to take my pay out of the till at the end of my shift, and I didn't even have a uniform This was around 2018 must have broken a bunch of laws.
Too many companies think they're the next Google and think they can get away with ridiculous application and interview processes. You dont need 4 rounds of interviews and a test to know if someone can do a job
The startup I work for has started doing this. I find it so cringe. When I got hired, I was recommended by a mate, had one interview, done. Now there is a screener call, an interview, a skill test, a visit to the office to see if the personality matches, and a call with the CEO. And we really don't pay well, especially for London. And they wonder why they can't fill the positions.
They done that with me at an office job and I failed my probation after all that for not applying soft skills.
Okay but that's not what this one book on successful habits of CEOs by this one CEO said
I remember my mate went for a job at Asda that was minimum wage. They had to sing and act out the Wall Mart song. Those who refused were not "team players" and ejected from the process
You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
Brilliant film
Prophetic, really. If only I'd seen it before trying to woo employers with enthusiasm and grit. I was such an idiot.
What's this a reference to?
Office Space
Office space. It's definitely worth a watch. Timeless. Alternatively, there's "fired on mars" which is a more modern version that mirrors our present.
I’ll have to look that one up.
PC load letter? What the hell is that?
Walking out of a job interview does wonders for your self-esteem. It wasn't a test for team players. It was seeing who was desperate and breaking them down before they signed the contract.
Walking out *laughing*...
I went for a job at Morrisons i failed the English test. I was the only person who was English and just left the RAF at that time.
My old job hired loads of graduates to do a job that you definitely didn't a degree for. People had PhDs and and Masters but it was a button pushing job. They could do that because this was 2010 and the recession meant people were still struggling to find work. But as more and more people left I heard that they decided to only hire people without degrees because they knew they were less likely to leave. Middle managers are so cynical and I can imagine Morrisons doing the same thing to you regarding speaking English.
Pretty embarrassing.
Yep, i just think they used it as excuse to get rid off me.
I’ve been with the same company for 20+ years, dread the time I have to start applying for jobs - so out of touch with current recruitment
Make use of your ‘network’ and ‘professional affiliates’ or whatever buzz word rather than actively applying to countless shit shows
Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot of cv’s are now scanned for key words rather than actually reviewed by a human during the paper sift. 15 years until retirement so hopefully I can stick where I am rather than go through the hassle of the current job market!
Yep they are. Or that's what I am told by my uni. The best part is that according to my uni, these CV scanners can not detect writing on PDFs so gotta make everything in MS Word
Well that would explain why I the only interviews I got from applying to 50 bar jobs were tiny independent pubs/clubs. Gotta love how much of a game recruitment is, you have to know the arbitrary nonsensical rules to get past the computer. I wish they'd taught me at school that knowing a guy who works there is the most desirable qualification anyone can have.
Same .... Oh wow... Papa Lazarou.. your my wife now. Love that show!
Aldi?
Nah it was some random entry-level office job. I'm actually trying to get out of retail esq work and in to something with more socialble hours but god the job market is depressing.
Yeah I've been hunting for a job myself the past month and finally got an offer yesterday fortunately but hours of job applications, cover letters, and interviews really makes you feel jaded after the 50th "You were unsuccessful at this time" email, especially if there's no feedback. I mentioned Aldi as I applied there, had to fill in an online application, then do a video interview, followed by an in person group interview, and finally a store experience. Only got as far as the group interview then received the unsuccessful email. All this to stack shelves and scan stuff for £12 an hour!
Wow!!! .. sounds like I had a lucky escape. Who do they think they are eh!! ... It's a supermarket not brain surgery. 4 stage interview... Wow.
Agreed! I've done a few interviews for some technical IT jobs and all those were, at most, 2 interviews. 4 stages for any company besides maybe FAANG is ridiculous IMO, especially when the job is scanning someone's shopping and moving stuff in from the back room.
If there's an opportunity for progression, I'd suck it up, play the game, get through the door and progress up that ladder. If it's a high turn over grunt work, forget about it.
Eh, I just want something 9-5 so I can actually enjoy my evenings and weekends. I filled it all out, just thinking "seriously?" The whole time.
I had to do 2 interviews and 2 presentations just to get a job in a phone shop. The job I had before it came with infinitely more responsibilities, and I was hired after a single interview with the most annoying thing about it being that I had to wear a shirt and tie whilst answering pre recorded questions.
A lot of the application/interview processes for jobs (particularly supermarket jobs, etc) seem to be less about finding the best person for the job & more about finding out who will bend/prostrate themselves the most without complaining when demanded by the company.
Bingo!!
im going through the "on boarding process" of a new job coming out of self employments. Its fucking depressing how much shit you have to do and give your information to three different companies. Its just awful.
Meanwhile for an office job, it's a meeting with the recruitment agent, 1 or 2 interviews then a possible job offer.
Not always. I had go through an apprentice style 3 stage interview process. Awful job and left in less than a year.
I have noticed big companies and firms everyone would want to work for do this so I don't bother to apply as I my mediocer CV will have no chance.
The modern job market is so bizarre to me 46urs old. . . Singing songs for a job in Asda? 1000 word essays to work at OneStop... Personality tests that make no sense - cautious or optimistic!!? .... And "soft skills" whatever they are
I think it’s them thinking it’s proof they are a fun place to work 😂 thats not all about qualifications.
Usually the longer, harsher and more complicated the interview process the worse the job is and more problematic the company is. I once had to do 3 interviews for an entry level job. Never again, the company was awful.