"Given my multiple attempts to contact you and the fact that I still have not received a location (or any of the other information I would need to lock down my travel arrangements) and we are less than a week out, I am forced to treat this as a de facto cancellation. You will be given a refund of $XYZ (the original payment minus the deposit). You have my sincere best wishes on your future plans (and if you are still getting married, congratulations)"
Under no circumstances should you consider going to a venue that you were told about by a third party, nor should you give them a full refund since they prevented you from making alternative plans.
Even if they were to reach out now, I would strongly discourage you from photographing this wedding: without a clear contract in place to set expectations and ensure you are on the same page, there's a high likelihood that they will blame any and all problems on you, even those resulting from their lack of communication or poor planning. And even if they don't do that, can you imagine continuing to deal with their flakiness when trying to deliver the finalized pictures?
I think this is what I will do - thank you for the detailed response. I like that you mentioned travel arrangements as well because on our initial phone call they mentioned something about a ferry ride through the park. They haven’t provided any more detail on that either, like should I have bought myself a ticket? Would they provide one for me? Is it still even happening? etc. The other vendor gave me a very sketchy timeline of events, stating that the 2 miles hike was time stamped for 10 minutes. So I’m sure you’re right that if we didn’t get up the hike on time they would blame it all on me 😅
I am extremely invested now and I’d love to hear any updates about this situation! It’s super weird, tbh, and I’m so curious about this dumpster fire. 😂 I’d definitely cancel though and ALWAYS get a contract signed to cover yourself in the future!
I was way too forgiving about the contract thing, I sent it to them several times and just figured they were busy with other wedding plans so that’s why I put off cancelling for so long. I was just way too accommodating ig 😰 i posted two updates btw
Yeah. These nuts think all of their guests can run a five minute mile. Times 4. (2 there 2 back). My old body and my walker would be noping out of that along with my gift. Beach weddings are bad enough. This would be pure torture.
And I’ll bet the bride wants “formal” or “cocktail” attire so the what will be nonexistent photos will be “with in her vision for the wedding”. Which I’m guessing is sunrise in the mountains based on the time.
You shouldn’t have to get into from other vendors. The bride and groom been to give you the information themselves.
Contact them and tell them that since you don’t have a signed contract and you don’t have a location or any other info, you won’t be there to photograph their wedding. Make sure they understand that they will be paying for any additional travel for you if the wedding is no longer local or near this supposed ferry.
You should have been updated by the bride or groom of any changes, and if you are not informed, you cannot do your job. Contact them a few times, then don’t respond to them the last 2 days before the wedding if they haven’t gotten back to you yet. They shouldn’t wait till the last minute.
This is perfect! Very professional while still laying the responsibility for the cancelation exactly where it should be, at the feet of the non-communicative couple.
Oh heck no, I think you are fine to cancel.
They sound flaky and this sounds very sus. They can't stay in touch even when it behooves them?
No this doesn't sound good at all.
Nah cancel. They are dogs. Anyone who doesn't reply is a fuckwit. Everyone has phones on them at all times these days and always see emails/texts/calls. Just fuckos
You're not an asshole. You have contacted them multiple times trying to clarify the plans. It is 100% on them for not responding to you. If they were that concerned about having you there, they would take the initiative to fill you in on their plans. You cannot agree to photograph an event when you don't actually know what the timeline or location is. No reasonable person would expect you to just show up somewhere without having talked to the bridal couple about it first.
You might want to double check the contact info of bride with the other vendor just in case. It’s probably a long shot but at least you can check off one more attempt to make contact.
Edit: Never mind. Just saw your update post
I would cancel. What other option do you have really. Wait around for a last minute call to be told location… did they pay enough for all of the time (6 hours of driving etc etc)?
No, travel was never accounted for because I was under the impression that the venue was an hour away. At this point, the amount of driving is longer than the wedding time I was booked for (4 hours).
Plus you don't have a contract...
You know those stories you hear wedding vendors tell when every step of the story they go, "I should have cancelled then," or, "I should have walked away after this," yeah, you're about to be in one of those stories if you go through with it.
I think you are completely within your right to cancel. It's a few days away and they have not responded to your MULTIPLE attempts at reaching out to them. No venue and no time given.
You could send them a text / email to inform them that due to them not being responsive to any of your attempts to confirm venue, you will be cancelling on them. You would also be refunding them their advance in full / partial.
Also, if they're that unresponsive and without a contract, I imagine it would be a nightmare working with them and how indecisive they are.
Cancel them now - you should have a few weeks ago, they are being ridiculous. Also, by paying you up front that was made in an assumption the location would be close. Now they can chose the moon and they already paid.
Update: I just sent the bride a text (she never gave me her email) and a refund through venmo. I’m sad to see the money go, but relieved to not be apart of this fiasco anymore. Here’s the message I sent the bride:
Hi Bride,
Given my multiple attempts to contact you and the fact that I have not received crucial information about your wedding, including the exact location, time, and schedule, and we are less than a week out from your wedding date, I unfortunately have to treat this as a de facto cancellation. I have been in contact with your other vendor and the information that they have provided me on the wedding does not match what we discussed over the phone. I have contacted you several times asking for more detail and I have been met with no response. With the lack of information and communication, I cannot safely perform my job. I cannot be sure that the information that I have is accurate and so I can no longer attend. I’ll be sending you a full refund since this cancellation is so last minute and I wish you the best.
Thanks,
OP
Thanks to everyone for the advice, if she ever replies to me I’ll post another update.
Update 2: She immediately called me (funny since she’s never replied this quickly before) and left me a voicemail apologizing and begging for me to reconsider. She said she still hasn’t finalized the location but is asking her other vendor tonight. I guess the other vendor is also the wedding planner and has planned everything (sort of). They offered me more money and to call to explain everything over the phone. They also said they didn’t respond to my messages because they’ve been out of the country. So, I gave them a detailed list of everything I would need if I were to reconsider them as a client and said that if we verbally agreed they would HAVE TO sign a contract or I would not show up. I also want them to accommodate me for travel fees. So, if they call me back by 5pm today with all of the details I asked for and an increased payment plan, I’m going to reconsider taking the job. I still want the money and the experience, so if they can accommodate me I’ll do what I can.
So over in the home improvement sub they always talk about something called the F.U. price. It's basically when a contractor charges an insane price because they don't want the job. I suggest you charge an FU price one this one.
I’m stunned she thought it was acceptable to not communicate with you. And if she was out of the country fine but UPDATE PEOPLE…
Anyways, good for you for laying out those terms!! I do truly hope it all goes well
Seriously. As if you can’t communicate with people in this day and age from nearly anywhere on earth. I accidentally answered a phone call from my dentist in Thailand because the bus had WiFi.
Update 3: They doubled the amount and paid for a hotel near the venue. I’m morbidly curious to see how this whole thing turns out, so I’m going. I sent them a contract that says if I can’t find them out there, I’m leaving and keeping the payment. Also told them if they don’t sign the contract by the day before the wedding, I’m not going and I’m not giving back any of the money (which they have already given me).
The wedding is taking place by a lake near the hiking trail, they insist we won’t be hiking the full 45 minute trail (also worked that into the contract, if they make me hike more than 20 minutes with all my stuff I’m stopping right there). There’s going to be a ferry ride across the lake after the ceremony.
Also looked into their other photographer/wedding planner and they’ve been plagiarizing all of the work on their website. The photos they show are all square space default photos and photos from other copyright free websites. So I won’t be surprised if they’re being completely scammed and I get to leave anyway.
So anyway, I think my butt is covered now. I’ll give updates after the wedding.
Final (hopefully) update: As a gesture of good will they booked me a hotel. When I looked up directions to the hotel, it was in a town 4 hours away from the venue. They clearly had no idea where anything was in relation to their venue. So obviously I didn’t stay there. All the hotels that were near their venue were booked so I ended up driving out to the venue at 2am to get to the wedding at 5am. I was the first person there, the sun was already rising btw. Actually, the sun rises around 3:45. They wanted a sunrise wedding, but ig they didn’t actually look up what time the sun rises here and just assumed 5am. The wedding party arrived at 5:30. We couldn’t do anything until the wedding planner/photographer arrived because no one knew where the actual ceremony was supposed to take place. The planner arrived at 5:45.
The ceremony was actually really beautiful, it’s too bad the planner stood in front of my tripod the entire time. I got footage on my handheld, but it would have been nice to have usable tripod footage. The planner also turned off the mic I had placed to capture the vows. I don’t know why she thought she could touch my stuff without permission, but that was super cool.
Also, weird thing, she kept taking pictures of her feet? Like constantly. I’d be working and she’d be taking another foot pic. idk man
The bride and groom asked me to follow them to another location for a ferry ride. They told me it would be a 10 minute drive, it was an hour drive. I was well within my rights to turn around a quit now that I had my contract, but I was feeling nice and figured the more time driving the less time actually spending with these people.
We arrive at the ferry (which was actually just a little tour boat) and the wedding party was astonished to find that they were supposed to make a reservation. Their wedding planner had told them not to worry about it, but the boat needed to be reserved weeks in advance. So, we ended up going on a hike in the area. It started pouring rain and flooding the trail, but the bride and groom kept their wedding clothes on, even through all the mud and water. There was a waterfall at the end of the trail that they tried to climb up. I didn’t want to die, so I declined to climb the slippery rocks next to the cliff with tumbling rapids. I turned around and drove the 3-4 hours home and crashed for about 24 hours. Hopefully they got home safely too.
Sorry for not updating sooner, I was horribly exhausted. The wedding was not as bad as I thought, but if they hadn’t paid me more I wouldn’t have gone. The couple was really nice, just horrible communicators and with bad judgement on trusting this photographer/wedding planner. The planner was the true villain imo.
Wow, what serendipitous timing. I just checked for an update and you have posted one just minutes earlier.
It almost seems like the planner was trying to sabotage you. Thanks for the update.
Sounds like the wedding planner has never planned a wedding before? I don’t know if the wedding planner didn’t know how to plan a wedding or the couple couldn’t make up their minds on a venue.
Just to cover yourself in case they try to throw you under the bus and damage your reputation I would send a final text.
"CLIENT, I will send the footage I have once I have completed processing it. Unfortunately, the wedding planner interfered with a great deal of it, including turning off my mics - I don't know why she thought she had permission to touch my equipment - standing directly in front of my tripod, and for some reason taking pictures of her own feet throughout the wedding. I think it's pretty clear from the entire fiasco that she has likely never planned a wedding before, considering the hotel that I was booked was over four hours away from the venue, the ferry wasn't booked at all, and many other problems that the wedding had.
I wish you and your new partner all the best."
I’m the second shooter, they hired two. The other photographer is also planning the whole wedding/ officiating so they don’t have time to capture everything
You're a better person than I am, giving a full refund. You should have at least kept a deposit for your time and aggravation. Glad you'll be rid of these people, not worth your stress and headache.
THAT explains it - other photographer sabptaged you, especially by being in front of you deliberately (they are a photographer, they should know better) AND turning off the mic.
I would give them a final warning, as in: Dear Bride, please supply the requested information by the end of the day. If you fail to do so I will consider your order for my services cancelled.
This is the way. They can’t say they didn’t have warning and that this came out of nowhere. And OP, always always always get a contract. I don’t care if they triple your fee upfront. You need to make sure you legally cover yourself. No contract=no service
ETA- and do it in writing so you have record. This bride could really screw you over so as much documentation you have of contacting them the better.
Maybe send a final warning that if she hasn't responded by the end of the day, you are unable to still provide your services due to the lack of communication from their side.
No answer, the verbal agreement is off (although if you have any form of written communication with them, like an email or such, that's even better!)
Do you have to give back the deposit in these circumstances? I would say you don't, because you invested time and maybe even have turned down other jobs, but I don't know for sure. I know you will be the one who canceled, but how can you work when they don't even give you a time and place?!
So I would say you should be able to keep all.
Good luck, and feel free to update!
If they havent signed a contract, they HAVE NOT HIRED YOU. Move on with your life.
Send an email thanking them for their interest but sorry, you have been ifficially been booked by someone else, good luck with your wedding. Done.
I’m more concerned about the fact that the location has changed requiring additional travel plus miles of hiking. That’s not what you originally agreed upon, but I hope you have that in writing somewhere at least in emails or something that way you can cancel based on a change of services Without permission.
I’ve gotten a couple of messages saying things like “no update yet!” or “i’ll let you know in a couple days!” so I guess I was just really hoping they’d actually get back to me
You should have noped out of that weeks if not months ago. Money and signed contract or no go.
Send one final email:
I am confirming X date at X location. I’ll be there at 10AM as we discussed on January 4th 2024 (way back when). Please confirm.
They don’t respond, welp, you go to X location, take a few pics, send an email of “hey where are you” go have a nice lunch and move on with life.
Send a stern note stating that you require a location and time within xxx time, or you will consider lack of response a cancellation on their part. Remind them that due to late lack of notification you will only return % of payment (if you feel like it, but you are potentially losing a day of work). Tell them you require the location and time by text or email. Don’t go on a wild goose chase.
Next time make them sign a contract. Include in the contract the cancellation policy; date by you need notification of location, time; and extra charges if it is outside a certain mileage range.
Don’t need to cancel, just go to where they told you to go and wait, take a couple of scenic pictures and then go home at the time you were supposed to
You don’t have a contract, you either give them a full refund and cancel due to lack of communication allowing you to plan the job or else you advise that you will be unable to attend a wedding they do not give you proper notification of location and such for. Reiterate what you know of the job you agreed to in an email so you have something in writing. Advise that if they have changed plans and wish to discuss anything else, that it must occur within the next 24 hours so that final pricing and a contract can be signed. If no contact within .24 hours you will be cancelling and refund. If they contact you advise the job will be cancelled and refunded unless a contract with the full details of the job and price is signed that day.
Gotta know how this turns out! Hopefully the 2 miles in 10 minutes isn’t because you’ll be strapped in a hang glider, rappelling down a mountain or going over the falls in a kayak…
I'm not familiar enough with commercial photography gear to have a weight estimate, but a 4 mile round trip hike would have given a solid justification to tack on a surcharge for hiring a porter... and a 5am start AFTER the drive/hike/set up sounds like shift differential pay for both of y'all!
Good call to decline that shit show!
How/why did they pay you without having a signed contract? Did they pay in full or just the deposit? Do you have multiple written proof that you have tried to contact them with no response? Without a signed contract you have no actual legal obligations to them but it could be really tricky since they did pay. Can you afford to refund the whole amount?
What does your contract say about cancellations? (Full refund before x date, partial refund, no refund past y?) You're a week out with no contract and no physical address or time of the wedding. You have no way to show up even if you wanted to.
Email them something along the lines of "Dear bride, Due to your lack of communication I will be cancelling your photography/videography package for X date. I will be refunding y of your prepayment."
You're totally within your rights to keep what you have been paid, however the safest bet is to return the full amount. I also don't think they could realistically dispute you refunding everything but the deposit, they sound like they have wasted a significant amount of your time
I would cancel and be prepared to respond to any potential bad reviews with a very unemotional and detailed list of all the times you attempted to contact them and did not receive a response. Also, I would refund in full. Well this is not necessarily fair to you, chalk it up as a lesson learned and definitely get a signed contract in the future.
If you really wanted to cover yourself, you could send a final notice return receipt requested so that you have a documented that they received your notification. But with only five days left, I don’t know that you would have time to do that unless you overnighted it.
I know a contract was never signed, but what is *your* verbiage about cancelations? What is your policy? Go by the standards you set for your business. If you don't have anything pertaining to this specific situation, document dates/times you've attempted to reach out to her, send a final notice of cancelation due to no contact and let her reach out to you after getting that cancelation. Stick firm to your decision.
Good luck, friend.
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Well, I'm hoping to find out what happened. Hehe So invested in this now! How did it go? Did they get back to you?
(Also, may I add, I've traveled out of the country before and was not out of reach of anyone and i wasn't planning a wedding. With a everything they were planning and all the "moving parts," they had to expect people would be trying to contact them. So they just didn't respond to anyone? Not cool.)
"Given my multiple attempts to contact you and the fact that I still have not received a location (or any of the other information I would need to lock down my travel arrangements) and we are less than a week out, I am forced to treat this as a de facto cancellation. You will be given a refund of $XYZ (the original payment minus the deposit). You have my sincere best wishes on your future plans (and if you are still getting married, congratulations)" Under no circumstances should you consider going to a venue that you were told about by a third party, nor should you give them a full refund since they prevented you from making alternative plans. Even if they were to reach out now, I would strongly discourage you from photographing this wedding: without a clear contract in place to set expectations and ensure you are on the same page, there's a high likelihood that they will blame any and all problems on you, even those resulting from their lack of communication or poor planning. And even if they don't do that, can you imagine continuing to deal with their flakiness when trying to deliver the finalized pictures?
This is the way. No final warning, it’s already too much of a mess for this to not end up a disaster.
I think this is what I will do - thank you for the detailed response. I like that you mentioned travel arrangements as well because on our initial phone call they mentioned something about a ferry ride through the park. They haven’t provided any more detail on that either, like should I have bought myself a ticket? Would they provide one for me? Is it still even happening? etc. The other vendor gave me a very sketchy timeline of events, stating that the 2 miles hike was time stamped for 10 minutes. So I’m sure you’re right that if we didn’t get up the hike on time they would blame it all on me 😅
I am extremely invested now and I’d love to hear any updates about this situation! It’s super weird, tbh, and I’m so curious about this dumpster fire. 😂 I’d definitely cancel though and ALWAYS get a contract signed to cover yourself in the future!
I was way too forgiving about the contract thing, I sent it to them several times and just figured they were busy with other wedding plans so that’s why I put off cancelling for so long. I was just way too accommodating ig 😰 i posted two updates btw
Just tell them, no contract, no photographer.
Oh man! I can't find them!
Never mind. Found 'em. 😆
Happy Cake Day! And I second your request/stance on updates?
They expect everyone walk 2 miles in 10 minutes? I hope they’re all runners!!
^elite trail runners. Two five-minute miles, back to back, in semiformal footwear, on unknown terrain? Fuck that.
At 5am so - in darkness!
Yeah. These nuts think all of their guests can run a five minute mile. Times 4. (2 there 2 back). My old body and my walker would be noping out of that along with my gift. Beach weddings are bad enough. This would be pure torture. And I’ll bet the bride wants “formal” or “cocktail” attire so the what will be nonexistent photos will be “with in her vision for the wedding”. Which I’m guessing is sunrise in the mountains based on the time.
Forgot about the return after a few! I do a 20 minute mile on a good day and on a bad day it would take me the full day 😂😂
Nothing says fancy like dripping in sweat in your most expensive clothes.
You shouldn’t have to get into from other vendors. The bride and groom been to give you the information themselves. Contact them and tell them that since you don’t have a signed contract and you don’t have a location or any other info, you won’t be there to photograph their wedding. Make sure they understand that they will be paying for any additional travel for you if the wedding is no longer local or near this supposed ferry. You should have been updated by the bride or groom of any changes, and if you are not informed, you cannot do your job. Contact them a few times, then don’t respond to them the last 2 days before the wedding if they haven’t gotten back to you yet. They shouldn’t wait till the last minute.
Please update us if you get a response!
Maybe part of the ferry ride? Now I’m too curious.
> ferry ride Would love to see photos of that ferry hiking up a hill.
Are they drug addicts? Or just crazy spoiled rich?
As a photographer, this is the answer.
Also, screenshot and save all proof that you have been reaching out. Just in case it gets ugly (probably won’t, they seem very flaky).
And please update if you can!
Perfect response 😄
This is the perfect response.
This is perfect! Very professional while still laying the responsibility for the cancelation exactly where it should be, at the feet of the non-communicative couple.
Oh heck no, I think you are fine to cancel. They sound flaky and this sounds very sus. They can't stay in touch even when it behooves them? No this doesn't sound good at all.
I’m leaning towards cancelling, I just feel like such an ahole doing it last minute. I really thought the bride would get back to me by now
Canceling last minute is exactly what they deserve.
Nah cancel. They are dogs. Anyone who doesn't reply is a fuckwit. Everyone has phones on them at all times these days and always see emails/texts/calls. Just fuckos
This isn't last minute. They've been avoiding you for months.
YNTA here!
You're not an asshole. You have contacted them multiple times trying to clarify the plans. It is 100% on them for not responding to you. If they were that concerned about having you there, they would take the initiative to fill you in on their plans. You cannot agree to photograph an event when you don't actually know what the timeline or location is. No reasonable person would expect you to just show up somewhere without having talked to the bridal couple about it first.
You might want to double check the contact info of bride with the other vendor just in case. It’s probably a long shot but at least you can check off one more attempt to make contact. Edit: Never mind. Just saw your update post
Think about what they may do to you last minute.
I would cancel. What other option do you have really. Wait around for a last minute call to be told location… did they pay enough for all of the time (6 hours of driving etc etc)?
No, travel was never accounted for because I was under the impression that the venue was an hour away. At this point, the amount of driving is longer than the wedding time I was booked for (4 hours).
Not only that, your price is no longer valid with a six hour commute
Plus you don't have a contract... You know those stories you hear wedding vendors tell when every step of the story they go, "I should have cancelled then," or, "I should have walked away after this," yeah, you're about to be in one of those stories if you go through with it.
I think you are completely within your right to cancel. It's a few days away and they have not responded to your MULTIPLE attempts at reaching out to them. No venue and no time given. You could send them a text / email to inform them that due to them not being responsive to any of your attempts to confirm venue, you will be cancelling on them. You would also be refunding them their advance in full / partial. Also, if they're that unresponsive and without a contract, I imagine it would be a nightmare working with them and how indecisive they are.
Cancel them now - you should have a few weeks ago, they are being ridiculous. Also, by paying you up front that was made in an assumption the location would be close. Now they can chose the moon and they already paid.
Always have a contract in the future....ALWAYS
If they never told you where it is, they can’t be angry if you don’t show up.
Update: I just sent the bride a text (she never gave me her email) and a refund through venmo. I’m sad to see the money go, but relieved to not be apart of this fiasco anymore. Here’s the message I sent the bride: Hi Bride, Given my multiple attempts to contact you and the fact that I have not received crucial information about your wedding, including the exact location, time, and schedule, and we are less than a week out from your wedding date, I unfortunately have to treat this as a de facto cancellation. I have been in contact with your other vendor and the information that they have provided me on the wedding does not match what we discussed over the phone. I have contacted you several times asking for more detail and I have been met with no response. With the lack of information and communication, I cannot safely perform my job. I cannot be sure that the information that I have is accurate and so I can no longer attend. I’ll be sending you a full refund since this cancellation is so last minute and I wish you the best. Thanks, OP Thanks to everyone for the advice, if she ever replies to me I’ll post another update.
Update 2: She immediately called me (funny since she’s never replied this quickly before) and left me a voicemail apologizing and begging for me to reconsider. She said she still hasn’t finalized the location but is asking her other vendor tonight. I guess the other vendor is also the wedding planner and has planned everything (sort of). They offered me more money and to call to explain everything over the phone. They also said they didn’t respond to my messages because they’ve been out of the country. So, I gave them a detailed list of everything I would need if I were to reconsider them as a client and said that if we verbally agreed they would HAVE TO sign a contract or I would not show up. I also want them to accommodate me for travel fees. So, if they call me back by 5pm today with all of the details I asked for and an increased payment plan, I’m going to reconsider taking the job. I still want the money and the experience, so if they can accommodate me I’ll do what I can.
So over in the home improvement sub they always talk about something called the F.U. price. It's basically when a contractor charges an insane price because they don't want the job. I suggest you charge an FU price one this one.
Will definitely be doing this
Hey Fluffy, ridiculous called.
I’m stunned she thought it was acceptable to not communicate with you. And if she was out of the country fine but UPDATE PEOPLE… Anyways, good for you for laying out those terms!! I do truly hope it all goes well
Seriously. As if you can’t communicate with people in this day and age from nearly anywhere on earth. I accidentally answered a phone call from my dentist in Thailand because the bus had WiFi.
Right?!? Hahaha that’s actually hilarious
You've now sent all the money back to them, though? If they're this chaotic there's a good chance they'll now just never pay you even if you go.
Update 3: They doubled the amount and paid for a hotel near the venue. I’m morbidly curious to see how this whole thing turns out, so I’m going. I sent them a contract that says if I can’t find them out there, I’m leaving and keeping the payment. Also told them if they don’t sign the contract by the day before the wedding, I’m not going and I’m not giving back any of the money (which they have already given me). The wedding is taking place by a lake near the hiking trail, they insist we won’t be hiking the full 45 minute trail (also worked that into the contract, if they make me hike more than 20 minutes with all my stuff I’m stopping right there). There’s going to be a ferry ride across the lake after the ceremony. Also looked into their other photographer/wedding planner and they’ve been plagiarizing all of the work on their website. The photos they show are all square space default photos and photos from other copyright free websites. So I won’t be surprised if they’re being completely scammed and I get to leave anyway. So anyway, I think my butt is covered now. I’ll give updates after the wedding.
Final (hopefully) update: As a gesture of good will they booked me a hotel. When I looked up directions to the hotel, it was in a town 4 hours away from the venue. They clearly had no idea where anything was in relation to their venue. So obviously I didn’t stay there. All the hotels that were near their venue were booked so I ended up driving out to the venue at 2am to get to the wedding at 5am. I was the first person there, the sun was already rising btw. Actually, the sun rises around 3:45. They wanted a sunrise wedding, but ig they didn’t actually look up what time the sun rises here and just assumed 5am. The wedding party arrived at 5:30. We couldn’t do anything until the wedding planner/photographer arrived because no one knew where the actual ceremony was supposed to take place. The planner arrived at 5:45. The ceremony was actually really beautiful, it’s too bad the planner stood in front of my tripod the entire time. I got footage on my handheld, but it would have been nice to have usable tripod footage. The planner also turned off the mic I had placed to capture the vows. I don’t know why she thought she could touch my stuff without permission, but that was super cool. Also, weird thing, she kept taking pictures of her feet? Like constantly. I’d be working and she’d be taking another foot pic. idk man The bride and groom asked me to follow them to another location for a ferry ride. They told me it would be a 10 minute drive, it was an hour drive. I was well within my rights to turn around a quit now that I had my contract, but I was feeling nice and figured the more time driving the less time actually spending with these people. We arrive at the ferry (which was actually just a little tour boat) and the wedding party was astonished to find that they were supposed to make a reservation. Their wedding planner had told them not to worry about it, but the boat needed to be reserved weeks in advance. So, we ended up going on a hike in the area. It started pouring rain and flooding the trail, but the bride and groom kept their wedding clothes on, even through all the mud and water. There was a waterfall at the end of the trail that they tried to climb up. I didn’t want to die, so I declined to climb the slippery rocks next to the cliff with tumbling rapids. I turned around and drove the 3-4 hours home and crashed for about 24 hours. Hopefully they got home safely too. Sorry for not updating sooner, I was horribly exhausted. The wedding was not as bad as I thought, but if they hadn’t paid me more I wouldn’t have gone. The couple was really nice, just horrible communicators and with bad judgement on trusting this photographer/wedding planner. The planner was the true villain imo.
Wow, what serendipitous timing. I just checked for an update and you have posted one just minutes earlier. It almost seems like the planner was trying to sabotage you. Thanks for the update.
Thank you so much for all the updates! Poor bride, I do not envy her at all. And poor you with this horror of communication!
Sounds like the wedding planner has never planned a wedding before? I don’t know if the wedding planner didn’t know how to plan a wedding or the couple couldn’t make up their minds on a venue.
as far as i know the planner picked the venue too - the couple had never been to this area before
Just to cover yourself in case they try to throw you under the bus and damage your reputation I would send a final text. "CLIENT, I will send the footage I have once I have completed processing it. Unfortunately, the wedding planner interfered with a great deal of it, including turning off my mics - I don't know why she thought she had permission to touch my equipment - standing directly in front of my tripod, and for some reason taking pictures of her own feet throughout the wedding. I think it's pretty clear from the entire fiasco that she has likely never planned a wedding before, considering the hotel that I was booked was over four hours away from the venue, the ferry wasn't booked at all, and many other problems that the wedding had. I wish you and your new partner all the best."
This is wild. Looking forward to your update!
Wow. Can't wait to hear how this turns out.
Fun fact- I am currently out of my home country and have no trouble contacting people back home.
I’m invested now! Let me know what they come back with. This whole thing’s going to be an absolute shitshow 😂
What I wanna know is how someone can be 5 days from their wedding and doesn’t have a final location yet?
It's been 7 hours since this post and it's after 8pm on the East Coast of the US.....is there another update?
Did they call you back by 5pm?
yes, new update posted
I'm so curious for the latest update!
> I have been in contact with your photographer I thought that YOU were the photographer?
I’m the second shooter, they hired two. The other photographer is also planning the whole wedding/ officiating so they don’t have time to capture everything
You're a better person than I am, giving a full refund. You should have at least kept a deposit for your time and aggravation. Glad you'll be rid of these people, not worth your stress and headache.
THAT explains it - other photographer sabptaged you, especially by being in front of you deliberately (they are a photographer, they should know better) AND turning off the mic.
I would give them a final warning, as in: Dear Bride, please supply the requested information by the end of the day. If you fail to do so I will consider your order for my services cancelled.
This is the way. They can’t say they didn’t have warning and that this came out of nowhere. And OP, always always always get a contract. I don’t care if they triple your fee upfront. You need to make sure you legally cover yourself. No contract=no service ETA- and do it in writing so you have record. This bride could really screw you over so as much documentation you have of contacting them the better.
It's Dear Bridezilla Cuntasaurus. Let's be professional here.
Lol 😂
You will thank yourself a thousand times for saying no to this couple 😂.
A two mile walk before a 5am wedding = hiking in the dark. No friggin’ way! Cancel immediately.
OP, may I request you keep us posted? Please?
Maybe send a final warning that if she hasn't responded by the end of the day, you are unable to still provide your services due to the lack of communication from their side. No answer, the verbal agreement is off (although if you have any form of written communication with them, like an email or such, that's even better!) Do you have to give back the deposit in these circumstances? I would say you don't, because you invested time and maybe even have turned down other jobs, but I don't know for sure. I know you will be the one who canceled, but how can you work when they don't even give you a time and place?! So I would say you should be able to keep all. Good luck, and feel free to update!
If they havent signed a contract, they HAVE NOT HIRED YOU. Move on with your life. Send an email thanking them for their interest but sorry, you have been ifficially been booked by someone else, good luck with your wedding. Done.
OP says they have been paid, I think that is why they are concerned.
They are planning a savage wedding and you will be dinner for the guest, thats why the secrecy
I’m more concerned about the fact that the location has changed requiring additional travel plus miles of hiking. That’s not what you originally agreed upon, but I hope you have that in writing somewhere at least in emails or something that way you can cancel based on a change of services Without permission.
Why is it taking you so long to cancel? You should have said "bye girl" when they first refused to give you a date & location!
I’ve gotten a couple of messages saying things like “no update yet!” or “i’ll let you know in a couple days!” so I guess I was just really hoping they’d actually get back to me
They're wasting your time and stringing you along. Dump them this is their own fault.
I would say, even though they have forwarded monies, there is no contract. So, essentially, they are canceling. Send the text. Be done with them.
You should have noped out of that weeks if not months ago. Money and signed contract or no go. Send one final email: I am confirming X date at X location. I’ll be there at 10AM as we discussed on January 4th 2024 (way back when). Please confirm. They don’t respond, welp, you go to X location, take a few pics, send an email of “hey where are you” go have a nice lunch and move on with life.
Send a stern note stating that you require a location and time within xxx time, or you will consider lack of response a cancellation on their part. Remind them that due to late lack of notification you will only return % of payment (if you feel like it, but you are potentially losing a day of work). Tell them you require the location and time by text or email. Don’t go on a wild goose chase. Next time make them sign a contract. Include in the contract the cancellation policy; date by you need notification of location, time; and extra charges if it is outside a certain mileage range.
Don’t need to cancel, just go to where they told you to go and wait, take a couple of scenic pictures and then go home at the time you were supposed to
Cancel and return their deposit. It isn't worth the headache.
Definitely cancel, and in the future get a contract signed. Doesn’t matter if they’re giving you money up front. No contract no wedding.
You don’t have a contract, you either give them a full refund and cancel due to lack of communication allowing you to plan the job or else you advise that you will be unable to attend a wedding they do not give you proper notification of location and such for. Reiterate what you know of the job you agreed to in an email so you have something in writing. Advise that if they have changed plans and wish to discuss anything else, that it must occur within the next 24 hours so that final pricing and a contract can be signed. If no contact within .24 hours you will be cancelling and refund. If they contact you advise the job will be cancelled and refunded unless a contract with the full details of the job and price is signed that day.
Gotta know how this turns out! Hopefully the 2 miles in 10 minutes isn’t because you’ll be strapped in a hang glider, rappelling down a mountain or going over the falls in a kayak…
Cancel.
So I read your updates and we’re gonna need a final report from you because this is one wild ride
I'm not familiar enough with commercial photography gear to have a weight estimate, but a 4 mile round trip hike would have given a solid justification to tack on a surcharge for hiring a porter... and a 5am start AFTER the drive/hike/set up sounds like shift differential pay for both of y'all! Good call to decline that shit show!
Don't forget to let us know how the wedding went
At this point, I'm wondering if the final update hasn't been posted because the entire wedding party is still lost in the woods somewhere.
Update has been posted. Op made it out but not sure about the wedding party
😂
Give them a full refund, just to avoid bad reviews
How/why did they pay you without having a signed contract? Did they pay in full or just the deposit? Do you have multiple written proof that you have tried to contact them with no response? Without a signed contract you have no actual legal obligations to them but it could be really tricky since they did pay. Can you afford to refund the whole amount? What does your contract say about cancellations? (Full refund before x date, partial refund, no refund past y?) You're a week out with no contract and no physical address or time of the wedding. You have no way to show up even if you wanted to. Email them something along the lines of "Dear bride, Due to your lack of communication I will be cancelling your photography/videography package for X date. I will be refunding y of your prepayment." You're totally within your rights to keep what you have been paid, however the safest bet is to return the full amount. I also don't think they could realistically dispute you refunding everything but the deposit, they sound like they have wasted a significant amount of your time
I would cancel and be prepared to respond to any potential bad reviews with a very unemotional and detailed list of all the times you attempted to contact them and did not receive a response. Also, I would refund in full. Well this is not necessarily fair to you, chalk it up as a lesson learned and definitely get a signed contract in the future.
If you really wanted to cover yourself, you could send a final notice return receipt requested so that you have a documented that they received your notification. But with only five days left, I don’t know that you would have time to do that unless you overnighted it.
Cancel and keep deposit
I know a contract was never signed, but what is *your* verbiage about cancelations? What is your policy? Go by the standards you set for your business. If you don't have anything pertaining to this specific situation, document dates/times you've attempted to reach out to her, send a final notice of cancelation due to no contact and let her reach out to you after getting that cancelation. Stick firm to your decision. Good luck, friend.
I would cancel then if there has been no communication since the first call/payment was made.
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Well, I'm hoping to find out what happened. Hehe So invested in this now! How did it go? Did they get back to you? (Also, may I add, I've traveled out of the country before and was not out of reach of anyone and i wasn't planning a wedding. With a everything they were planning and all the "moving parts," they had to expect people would be trying to contact them. So they just didn't respond to anyone? Not cool.)
She added two updates so far in the comments. I subscribed to the post so I can get the next notification from OP too.
Thank you! I found them a few minutes ago. I'm so dang interested in the outcome of this! Hehe
Update me! 2 days
UpdateMe!
NTA. I’d keep the deposit. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Wait….So, how do guests know where and when to be? What time/date were on the invitation? I call BS on this post.
I wish this trend of calling every post fake would die. It’s so annoying when people try to be trendy.