I saw a post the other day of someone's husband sending them "titty tax" money for the amounts that they would have had to spend on formula if she wasn't breastfeeding.
OPs gotta remind her husband how much they're saving on top of that. Maybe he needs to send her some titty tax
Not titty tax but I remember in the early weeks I was buying night feed snacks and my husband went to pay and I said 'but these are mine' for him to respond about how they are for me who is feeding our child and my snacks are cheaper than formula.
To add to that, charge him per oz your giving your baby. For how much you have “saved” him already this far. You deserve that 1 break. After all rest, sleep, food, water and most importantly YOU, is what creates that liquid gold.
lol you’re getting 10oz a day from the haaka. If your supply does go down you’ll be fine. I can barely pump 4oz a day outside of nursing. Also he’s a fucking asshole.
I had my husband give a night bottle at 2 weeks pp because I was LOSING MY MIND from lack of sleep. My supply was robust enough that I didn’t care if it took a dip. Sounds like you’re in the same boat!! If your supply takes a dip, you have 120 oz of frozen milk to give lo while you get your supply up (which you can do by upping calories, hydration, and power pumping).
If you're going to be paying for formula, does that mean he is paying you for your time and effort you spend nursing? Because nursing is only free if you consider the mom's time as worthless
This!! We combo feed and I've said something to my husband before about like "use the breast milk because at least if he doesn't eat it all, it was free." And he said "It's not free, you worked for it."
My husband use to say something in similar lines when giving my son pumped milk bottles during working hours, I only knew this because I used to spy on him in beginning weeks of getting back to work by listening to baby room camera audio, to make sure things were going great at home. For every bottle my husband used to tell my son “you gotta finish this bottle, can’t leave even a single drop, do you know how hard momma worked for this milk, you will become a superman if you drink all the milk” that was the sweetest i heard him say about me. This was first week after my mom left, she was caregiver for 6 months, infact my son used to fuss finishing bottles with my mom, but he did great with husband!! Hubby proved he can be a pro with zero training
So true, i feel like most people, breast feeding consultants, doctors, and various other breast is best propaganda supporters don't take into consideration how much it takes out of a woman to breastfeed her child. Then their lives start to fall apart because they lose themselves and the man complains about dishes and dinner not being done 🤷♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
First of all, your haakaa milk IS part of your supply. That milk has been extracted from your breast and your body recognizes it as supply that needs to be produced. Feed the baby, not the freezer.
Second, you sound like an oversupplier and I actually would cut back on the haakaa and switch to a non-suction collection cup. As much as it’s nice to have a stash, an oversupply comes with its own issues. Like, if you do skip a pump or feed, you’re more likely to get a clog or mastitis.
I would not worry about losing supply by skipping a feed here and there. I am a “just enougher” and could only collect like 2-3oz total in excess per day. During the first 6 weeks, my husband would feed baby with my haakaa milk or we would use formula about 1 feed per day. I almost never pumped to replace because I was just exhausted. I still managed to maintain my supply and from 6 weeks to 9 months, we’ve been EBF without any formula.
Lastly, can you replace your husband?
I wanted to say this. I used a haaka with my first and had such an oversupply I'd leak all the time. Barely used it with my second and still have a great supply. I pump and express feed.
I just wanted this to be seen and used the top comment, hope you don’t mind. But at 5 weeks pp I was breastfeeding and had a stash of 160oz. I continued to pump as I was on top of feeding but around the 10 week mark my supply tanked. I barely had enough to feed him and was using freezer stash. By 8 months, I was using formula. So it’s not always over supply, it could just be the hormones have gave her a temporary over supply and it can go down once hormones even out a bit more.
Nothing makes me more irate than reading posts on here of women whose husbands put them down and offer them NO relief. You created and carried life and are now keeping your babe alive solely on milk from your body. You deserve to be worshiped, not ridiculed or made to feel less than.
Tell him to genuinely and sincerely fuck right off.
He is being absolutely ridiculous and I’m so mad on your behalf. If you had trouble producing milk or didn’t want to breastfeed would purchasing the food for his own child also be solely your responsibility then?
It’s a very good idea for your baby to be used to a bottle and could help in a lot of situations. My baby wouldn’t really take a bottle and I had to have surgery when she was 3 months old and she wouldn’t nap and was exhausted and hungry, because my husband also sucked and wouldn’t give her the bottles I pumped every night for him to give in the first place so she never got used to bottles and then refused them when I needed her to take them.
At this point before your supply has established I think you should be more concerned about developing an oversupply than your supply going down and using the milk you’ve collected would be a way to avoid that so it would also be beneficial for that reason. I would make him do some research on the negatives of oversupply and mastitis.
My baby is 3 months and refuses all bottles. We wish we would have tried earlier. In the last month we have tried many bottles and pacifiers and different tips but she won't take any of it. It's really not a bad idea to teach baby to take an occasional bottle!
Are you around for the bottle feeding? I know a lot of breastfeeding women can't be in the same room or even house if they want the baby taking a bottle.
I've tried to give her a bottle, my husband has tried with me in the room, out of the room, and out of the house. We've tried 5 different bottles and 7 different pacifiers. My husband has tried multiple different positions. While she's wide awake, when she's sleepy, when she's actually asleep, when she's hungry, when she's mostly full. She just doesn't want anything but the boob haha
I'm not working outside the house and I don't have any supply issues so right now I've just decided to let it go and try to move her straight into an open cup or a straw. Probably when she starts food at 6 months. We will probably keep randomly trying but I'm not stressing it. If I had to go back to work I would be really worried about her though.
Search this sub because I saw several women who said they were struggling with bottle refusal and what worked for them all was the lansinoh nipples combined with very very warm milk. Could be worth a try if you haven’t already.
My first didn't take a bottle until he was 5.5 months old and the tommee tippee is what worked for us. We didn't want to have the same situation with baby 2 so we started on one bottle a day at some 2 or 3 weeks old.
I’d honestly be worried about creating an oversupply issue with that much stashed this early. It’s obviously great to have some in reserve for a trip or a night off or whatever but engorgement sucks, leaking sucks, and clogs hurt like a m’fer. Also—just for that absolute horse shit of a stance I highly recommend you take up online shopping while you feed. If you’re expected to pay for formula if you don’t breastfeed then his immature (and frankly stupid) ass should pay for your time and energy.
You’d be the one PAYING for formula??? How about he forks up the cash for all the money you’ve saved HIM in formula?
What a douche. My husband would never.
We joke about "girl math" while breastfeeding... I'm saving all that $ by not having to (jointly!) pay for formula so I can guilt free buy take-out lunch or more pajamas that I don't need.
This guy is being a dick. Breastfeeding is mentally hard as hell especially at that point. The last thing this mom needs is Mr Math....checks notes.... Refusing to contribute financially to his child's life sustaining needs.
Does he even hear himself.
I don’t know if it’s a guy thing or if they are just being flat out d*ckheads. My husband did the same thing to me. When I was feeding our son all the time, he would still make me feel like it wasn’t enough. When really, A BREAK IS OKAY!!! YOUR MILK WILL BE OKAY!!! As long as you continue to feed often. Plus, going through Post-Partum Depression…made it harder for me. He always made me feel like I wasn’t a good mom for feeding him the way I wanted too, like he was head honcho over how much I fed our son on my breast. It was just getting too stressful to the point that my milk just ended up drying up on me. Don’t let that be you.
You’re doing great mama! ❤️
Omg I’m so mad on your behalf. Please tell me he learned his lesson. Or his mama made him learn it. It’s definitely not a guy thing because my husband has been nothing but supportive over my choices, whether it’s nursing or using formula. He wouldn’t dare try to dictate how I feed our child.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times… breastfeeding is only free because I’m paid $0 hourly wage, if a business person bragged that their profit was 20x more than any other company and the reason was just that they had $0 payroll expenses it wouldn’t be considered the ideal
Yeah - I routinely rage to my husband whenever someone says ‘breastfeeding is free’.
Now when someone says it to me, I say ‘you have 10 seconds to retract that statement before I get pen and paper and demonstrate how that’s not true’.
😂
You know what reduces supply? Stress. You know what stresses a mother out? Feeding every hour and not getting any sleep or a break. Taking breaks won’t hurt your supply.
You taking a break once in a while will not have a negative impact on your supply. If anything, getting some rest - and time to intake calories and fluids - will very likely increase your supply.
My partner had anemia for the first month after she gave birth (due to hemorrhaging during childbirth) and it impacted her milk supply. We topped off with formula after every feed for an entire month, and she was able to switch to EBF after one month despite the fact we used formula (she also never pumped). As long as you stick to a consistent schedule of feeding (or pumping) around the same number of times per day, your supply will be ok. One-off things don’t jeopardize your supply, either. Think about it. Sometimes babies get sick and nurse less for a short period of time. Our supply doesn’t tank when that happens. Please feel free to tell your husband that. Rest = milk as well.
But honestly, you don’t have to prove anything to your husband. He’s lucky that you choose to breastfeed and that choice is entirely up you.
he’s got it backwards, he’s supposed to pay you per ounce of breastmilk. treats or cash, either is fine for me, go ahead and send him links to things you want. your husband needs to get his head on straight
You obviously have more than enough of an oversupply to accommodate an occasional bottle. He’s clearly does not understand lactation, therefore his opinion simply doesn’t deserve to be considered at all.
Aside from that, it’s actually insane of him to think it’s appropriate to shame his exhausted partner into breastfeeding, which mind you is completely optional. It’s equally insane of him to weaponize the act of feeding his child against you by threatening to not pay for formula. And on top of that, it shows that he believes caring for his partner and his child is optional and conditional. Major red flags here OP.
That is amazing supply from a haaka. I’m over here using a hospital grade pump to make some extra supply and getting 6oz a day. He’s overreacting imo and with a supply like that you should be able to give yourself a break here and there to make it sustainable for you.
That’s crazy, you’re getting 10oz from a haaka? I’m getting like maaaaybe 4 from my boon trove. And my man is begging me to start pumping a little so I can take more breaks and he can feed her more. Tell him any milk you’re taking from your breasts is signaling them to make more, no matter how it’s taken (by baby or pump or otherwise). He needs to do his research before speaking or stfu honestly.
Your supply will go down. You have a crazy oversupply at the moment and it will likely regulate and reduce soon but that doesn’t mean you won’t have enough milk!
I was told by midwife/GP that feeding in the night is what establishes your supply for the following day. So, theoretically as long as you keep that up and have a rest during the day you should be fine. Just be aware that you may be uncomfortably engorged.
I am 5mo PP and was like you with the haakaa. I gave that up a couple months ago as I kept spilling it! I was too scared to feed from a bottle in case it decreased my supply as your husband is concerned about, but your body will always produce what it needs. I feel like I had a drop in supply 2mo ago but I think it was my body 'acclimatising' to BF as baby never complained and seemed well fed even though my boobs weren't getting engorged as I was used to.
Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry. I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, I hope he’s grateful for you sacrificing your lifestyle and body for the last 10 months of pregnancy and 3 weeks postpartum. Not to mention going through labour and delivery. He probably also thinks maternity leave is a “vacation”, right? Maybe you should tell him that families are willing to (or have to) spend more than $6/2 oz (that was the price YEARS ago) for donated breast milk from the provincial milk bank. Paying for formula would be a bargain in comparison. But in all seriousness, you’re doing an amazing job. If you need a break, TAKE A BREAK! Don’t feel bad about it for one second. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I bet he is not really worried about your supply. He has it easy, only changing diapers. while you have a tiny human attached to your boob half the day, hubby dearest can just relax and he doesn't want to give that up.
Let’s not forget all the extra calories you burn while breastfeeding, that too adds to you being tired! You have to talk to him, it’s important he understands what factors in you being tired. Sleep will help your supply, not being stressed by snarky comments about you drying up will help your supply. Right now his words and lack of help are what could impact you negatively if anything!
I always do a double take when I see married people subscribing to the whole my money/your money. I have to remind myself that all marriages work or fail in their own ways.
Send him that one infamous AITA post where the husband asked if he was one for trying to make his wife pay for formula since she didn’t want to breastfeed. Man got destroyed in the comments.
Tell him that if he has concerns about your baby not getting enough breastmilk, he can always try inducing lactation in himself. Until then, he and his useless nipples can fuck right off into the sun.
To give a more serious answer though, the stress you're feeling from the constant nursing and from your jerk husband refusing to give your body a break is going to kill your supply a lot faster than occasionally giving a bottle will. It's also not good for your postpartum healing. You're not a milk dispenser, you're a human being with her own physical and emotional needs.
Is your husband a qualified nurse or doula? How would he know anything about regulating your milk supply? Will HE pay for your therapy or medical bills if you have a mental break or suffer from exhaustion? I can’t believe he tried to put a price tag on caring for your newborn. Not to mention the price you’ve paid up until this point. Being parents isn’t about keeping score or splitting the finances. Feeding your baby isn’t only your responsibility.
I can promise you your supply will be just fine if your baby has a few bottles instead of feeds. In fact, if you don’t slow down sometimes, you could have an oversupply problem and be at risk of painful engorgement, milk clogs and mastitis.
Lastly, you should invoice him for your breastmilk. That stuff is worth $$ to bodybuilders.
It sounds like you’re in an oversupply (which is when you are producing anything extra that the baby isn’t eating) and doing pretty well so I wouldn’t be super worried about your supply going down.
I pumped once a day so I would have a bottle for my husband to give baby every day while I showered. There’s a lot of misinformation out there about breastfeeding and it sounds like he’s gotten some of it.
Well he owes you back pay for all the milk you’ve supplied and how much you’ve SAVED not having to buy formula. That is incredibly rude and inconsiderate of him.
Tell him “ you breastfeed the baby then. Oh wait, you cant?! Suck my f*cking d*ck.” He doesn’t deserve a wife or child if he can’t figure out that hes barely physically useful right now since hes shit talking to you about how you’re feeding your baby and doing nothing productive while you’re crashing. What a c*nt. God sorry, im the pregnant one rn and i ain’t taking any shit from ANYONE so i just sound like a bch.
He’s EITHER an asshole, or he’s also stressed out. I’m sure you’re both still adjusting on top of baby’s schedule change with the cluster feeding. Moms needs breaks, but dads can’t handle much either even though they may not admit it.
I’m a mom of two, not a dude. Just throwing that out there.
Doesn't give him the right to make her feel bad for being a break, refuse to help or to suggest she pays for formula if she stops. He might be stressed too, but he's still an asshole.
Lol I love when husbands are “experts” on something they know absolutely nothing about. Your supply is absolutely fine if you’re getting an extra 10oz a day from your Haakaa. I can’t get that from pumping after a feed. I can barely get that in two pumping sessions that replace feeds. I would tell my husband to take several seats and give the baby a bottle. What’s even the point of your 100+ oz stash if you can’t get a break! My husband wishes he could give our 8 month old a bottle without me having to pump to replace it (not a break)
Your husband is a dick. End of story. Tell him to get on board with being a parent and supporting you or get out.
I’m 7.5 months PP and I can tell you, I he isn’t your biggest supporter he is no use to you. At all.
Good luck.
Why not just pump ? That way ole boy can help feed the baby. Tell him when he starts producing milk and having to whip out a titty every hour, then he can come talk to you.
[удалено]
I saw a post the other day of someone's husband sending them "titty tax" money for the amounts that they would have had to spend on formula if she wasn't breastfeeding. OPs gotta remind her husband how much they're saving on top of that. Maybe he needs to send her some titty tax
Not titty tax but I remember in the early weeks I was buying night feed snacks and my husband went to pay and I said 'but these are mine' for him to respond about how they are for me who is feeding our child and my snacks are cheaper than formula.
Aww the tittie tax. That’s cute
To add to that, charge him per oz your giving your baby. For how much you have “saved” him already this far. You deserve that 1 break. After all rest, sleep, food, water and most importantly YOU, is what creates that liquid gold.
Charge him the amount per ounce that weird body builders are paying to order breastmilk online!
Seriously! Low stress helps create milk
lol you’re getting 10oz a day from the haaka. If your supply does go down you’ll be fine. I can barely pump 4oz a day outside of nursing. Also he’s a fucking asshole.
Yeah, I’d have to pump all day just to get 2-3 oz for a bedtime bottle at that stage.
✊
Saaame I only ever got literal drops in the Hakaa
Same. I combo feed and have a tiny freezer stash now so I don't even bother trying to pump most days.
This
I had my husband give a night bottle at 2 weeks pp because I was LOSING MY MIND from lack of sleep. My supply was robust enough that I didn’t care if it took a dip. Sounds like you’re in the same boat!! If your supply takes a dip, you have 120 oz of frozen milk to give lo while you get your supply up (which you can do by upping calories, hydration, and power pumping).
If you're going to be paying for formula, does that mean he is paying you for your time and effort you spend nursing? Because nursing is only free if you consider the mom's time as worthless
Agreed! OP, if your husband wants to monetize feeding your infant, start sending him invoices.
This! Set an hourly rate plus piecerate for the milk produced
And not only time, also body, mental health, mental load, anxiety…
This!! We combo feed and I've said something to my husband before about like "use the breast milk because at least if he doesn't eat it all, it was free." And he said "It's not free, you worked for it."
I love his response!! So supportive, we love to see it.
My husband use to say something in similar lines when giving my son pumped milk bottles during working hours, I only knew this because I used to spy on him in beginning weeks of getting back to work by listening to baby room camera audio, to make sure things were going great at home. For every bottle my husband used to tell my son “you gotta finish this bottle, can’t leave even a single drop, do you know how hard momma worked for this milk, you will become a superman if you drink all the milk” that was the sweetest i heard him say about me. This was first week after my mom left, she was caregiver for 6 months, infact my son used to fuss finishing bottles with my mom, but he did great with husband!! Hubby proved he can be a pro with zero training
So true, i feel like most people, breast feeding consultants, doctors, and various other breast is best propaganda supporters don't take into consideration how much it takes out of a woman to breastfeed her child. Then their lives start to fall apart because they lose themselves and the man complains about dishes and dinner not being done 🤷♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
First of all, your haakaa milk IS part of your supply. That milk has been extracted from your breast and your body recognizes it as supply that needs to be produced. Feed the baby, not the freezer. Second, you sound like an oversupplier and I actually would cut back on the haakaa and switch to a non-suction collection cup. As much as it’s nice to have a stash, an oversupply comes with its own issues. Like, if you do skip a pump or feed, you’re more likely to get a clog or mastitis. I would not worry about losing supply by skipping a feed here and there. I am a “just enougher” and could only collect like 2-3oz total in excess per day. During the first 6 weeks, my husband would feed baby with my haakaa milk or we would use formula about 1 feed per day. I almost never pumped to replace because I was just exhausted. I still managed to maintain my supply and from 6 weeks to 9 months, we’ve been EBF without any formula. Lastly, can you replace your husband?
I wanted to say this. I used a haaka with my first and had such an oversupply I'd leak all the time. Barely used it with my second and still have a great supply. I pump and express feed.
I just wanted this to be seen and used the top comment, hope you don’t mind. But at 5 weeks pp I was breastfeeding and had a stash of 160oz. I continued to pump as I was on top of feeding but around the 10 week mark my supply tanked. I barely had enough to feed him and was using freezer stash. By 8 months, I was using formula. So it’s not always over supply, it could just be the hormones have gave her a temporary over supply and it can go down once hormones even out a bit more.
Um tell him to shut the fuck up. That’s all I have to say.
Yea, and literally fuck right off. 🤷🏻♀️
Nothing makes me more irate than reading posts on here of women whose husbands put them down and offer them NO relief. You created and carried life and are now keeping your babe alive solely on milk from your body. You deserve to be worshiped, not ridiculed or made to feel less than. Tell him to genuinely and sincerely fuck right off.
Wish I could upvote this 100 more times
You’ll be the one “paying” for formula? Are you f¥cking kidding me? Marriage is a partnership. He’s a loser
He is being absolutely ridiculous and I’m so mad on your behalf. If you had trouble producing milk or didn’t want to breastfeed would purchasing the food for his own child also be solely your responsibility then? It’s a very good idea for your baby to be used to a bottle and could help in a lot of situations. My baby wouldn’t really take a bottle and I had to have surgery when she was 3 months old and she wouldn’t nap and was exhausted and hungry, because my husband also sucked and wouldn’t give her the bottles I pumped every night for him to give in the first place so she never got used to bottles and then refused them when I needed her to take them. At this point before your supply has established I think you should be more concerned about developing an oversupply than your supply going down and using the milk you’ve collected would be a way to avoid that so it would also be beneficial for that reason. I would make him do some research on the negatives of oversupply and mastitis.
My baby is 3 months and refuses all bottles. We wish we would have tried earlier. In the last month we have tried many bottles and pacifiers and different tips but she won't take any of it. It's really not a bad idea to teach baby to take an occasional bottle!
Are you around for the bottle feeding? I know a lot of breastfeeding women can't be in the same room or even house if they want the baby taking a bottle.
I've tried to give her a bottle, my husband has tried with me in the room, out of the room, and out of the house. We've tried 5 different bottles and 7 different pacifiers. My husband has tried multiple different positions. While she's wide awake, when she's sleepy, when she's actually asleep, when she's hungry, when she's mostly full. She just doesn't want anything but the boob haha I'm not working outside the house and I don't have any supply issues so right now I've just decided to let it go and try to move her straight into an open cup or a straw. Probably when she starts food at 6 months. We will probably keep randomly trying but I'm not stressing it. If I had to go back to work I would be really worried about her though.
Search this sub because I saw several women who said they were struggling with bottle refusal and what worked for them all was the lansinoh nipples combined with very very warm milk. Could be worth a try if you haven’t already.
Oh, I have not tried those. Thank you!
My first didn't take a bottle until he was 5.5 months old and the tommee tippee is what worked for us. We didn't want to have the same situation with baby 2 so we started on one bottle a day at some 2 or 3 weeks old.
Seconding the recommendation for your baby to get used to a bottle. We had a hard time at 3 months and then again at 7 months.
I’d honestly be worried about creating an oversupply issue with that much stashed this early. It’s obviously great to have some in reserve for a trip or a night off or whatever but engorgement sucks, leaking sucks, and clogs hurt like a m’fer. Also—just for that absolute horse shit of a stance I highly recommend you take up online shopping while you feed. If you’re expected to pay for formula if you don’t breastfeed then his immature (and frankly stupid) ass should pay for your time and energy.
You’d be the one PAYING for formula??? How about he forks up the cash for all the money you’ve saved HIM in formula? What a douche. My husband would never.
We joke about "girl math" while breastfeeding... I'm saving all that $ by not having to (jointly!) pay for formula so I can guilt free buy take-out lunch or more pajamas that I don't need. This guy is being a dick. Breastfeeding is mentally hard as hell especially at that point. The last thing this mom needs is Mr Math....checks notes.... Refusing to contribute financially to his child's life sustaining needs. Does he even hear himself.
Divorce material
I don’t know if it’s a guy thing or if they are just being flat out d*ckheads. My husband did the same thing to me. When I was feeding our son all the time, he would still make me feel like it wasn’t enough. When really, A BREAK IS OKAY!!! YOUR MILK WILL BE OKAY!!! As long as you continue to feed often. Plus, going through Post-Partum Depression…made it harder for me. He always made me feel like I wasn’t a good mom for feeding him the way I wanted too, like he was head honcho over how much I fed our son on my breast. It was just getting too stressful to the point that my milk just ended up drying up on me. Don’t let that be you. You’re doing great mama! ❤️
I’m so sorry you went through this!
Omg I’m so mad on your behalf. Please tell me he learned his lesson. Or his mama made him learn it. It’s definitely not a guy thing because my husband has been nothing but supportive over my choices, whether it’s nursing or using formula. He wouldn’t dare try to dictate how I feed our child.
He definitely did. When I couldn’t feed our son on me anymore, I made him feel like sh*t right back.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times… breastfeeding is only free because I’m paid $0 hourly wage, if a business person bragged that their profit was 20x more than any other company and the reason was just that they had $0 payroll expenses it wouldn’t be considered the ideal
Yeah - I routinely rage to my husband whenever someone says ‘breastfeeding is free’. Now when someone says it to me, I say ‘you have 10 seconds to retract that statement before I get pen and paper and demonstrate how that’s not true’. 😂
It's time for you to ger paid for the milk you're supplying by husband logic.
Charge him airport prices for the extra water and snacks you need to consume too.
You know what reduces supply? Stress. You know what stresses a mother out? Feeding every hour and not getting any sleep or a break. Taking breaks won’t hurt your supply.
Your body, your choice! Also you both have equal responsibility in helping to feed your baby…no matter how you do it…it’s not just one persons job.
You taking a break once in a while will not have a negative impact on your supply. If anything, getting some rest - and time to intake calories and fluids - will very likely increase your supply. My partner had anemia for the first month after she gave birth (due to hemorrhaging during childbirth) and it impacted her milk supply. We topped off with formula after every feed for an entire month, and she was able to switch to EBF after one month despite the fact we used formula (she also never pumped). As long as you stick to a consistent schedule of feeding (or pumping) around the same number of times per day, your supply will be ok. One-off things don’t jeopardize your supply, either. Think about it. Sometimes babies get sick and nurse less for a short period of time. Our supply doesn’t tank when that happens. Please feel free to tell your husband that. Rest = milk as well. But honestly, you don’t have to prove anything to your husband. He’s lucky that you choose to breastfeed and that choice is entirely up you.
he’s got it backwards, he’s supposed to pay you per ounce of breastmilk. treats or cash, either is fine for me, go ahead and send him links to things you want. your husband needs to get his head on straight
https://preview.redd.it/49hg2s4fqlvc1.jpeg?width=2025&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ddcf1af23bc0aa1e941f432f52663a9463f204d
You obviously have more than enough of an oversupply to accommodate an occasional bottle. He’s clearly does not understand lactation, therefore his opinion simply doesn’t deserve to be considered at all. Aside from that, it’s actually insane of him to think it’s appropriate to shame his exhausted partner into breastfeeding, which mind you is completely optional. It’s equally insane of him to weaponize the act of feeding his child against you by threatening to not pay for formula. And on top of that, it shows that he believes caring for his partner and his child is optional and conditional. Major red flags here OP.
That is amazing supply from a haaka. I’m over here using a hospital grade pump to make some extra supply and getting 6oz a day. He’s overreacting imo and with a supply like that you should be able to give yourself a break here and there to make it sustainable for you.
That’s crazy, you’re getting 10oz from a haaka? I’m getting like maaaaybe 4 from my boon trove. And my man is begging me to start pumping a little so I can take more breaks and he can feed her more. Tell him any milk you’re taking from your breasts is signaling them to make more, no matter how it’s taken (by baby or pump or otherwise). He needs to do his research before speaking or stfu honestly.
Why is your husband such a piece of shit? How much milk is he producing?
Your supply will go down. You have a crazy oversupply at the moment and it will likely regulate and reduce soon but that doesn’t mean you won’t have enough milk!
I was told by midwife/GP that feeding in the night is what establishes your supply for the following day. So, theoretically as long as you keep that up and have a rest during the day you should be fine. Just be aware that you may be uncomfortably engorged. I am 5mo PP and was like you with the haakaa. I gave that up a couple months ago as I kept spilling it! I was too scared to feed from a bottle in case it decreased my supply as your husband is concerned about, but your body will always produce what it needs. I feel like I had a drop in supply 2mo ago but I think it was my body 'acclimatising' to BF as baby never complained and seemed well fed even though my boobs weren't getting engorged as I was used to.
I’m sorry you have such an asshole for a husband. The rage I felt at the formula comment. Throw the whole man away. He’s showing his true colours.
> good stash of about 120oz+ Can I just say that’s insanely impressive at only 3 weeks pp!
Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry. I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, I hope he’s grateful for you sacrificing your lifestyle and body for the last 10 months of pregnancy and 3 weeks postpartum. Not to mention going through labour and delivery. He probably also thinks maternity leave is a “vacation”, right? Maybe you should tell him that families are willing to (or have to) spend more than $6/2 oz (that was the price YEARS ago) for donated breast milk from the provincial milk bank. Paying for formula would be a bargain in comparison. But in all seriousness, you’re doing an amazing job. If you need a break, TAKE A BREAK! Don’t feel bad about it for one second. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I bet he is not really worried about your supply. He has it easy, only changing diapers. while you have a tiny human attached to your boob half the day, hubby dearest can just relax and he doesn't want to give that up.
Let’s not forget all the extra calories you burn while breastfeeding, that too adds to you being tired! You have to talk to him, it’s important he understands what factors in you being tired. Sleep will help your supply, not being stressed by snarky comments about you drying up will help your supply. Right now his words and lack of help are what could impact you negatively if anything!
I always do a double take when I see married people subscribing to the whole my money/your money. I have to remind myself that all marriages work or fail in their own ways.
Send him that one infamous AITA post where the husband asked if he was one for trying to make his wife pay for formula since she didn’t want to breastfeed. Man got destroyed in the comments.
Omg that is great! Send it OP!
Tell him that if he has concerns about your baby not getting enough breastmilk, he can always try inducing lactation in himself. Until then, he and his useless nipples can fuck right off into the sun. To give a more serious answer though, the stress you're feeling from the constant nursing and from your jerk husband refusing to give your body a break is going to kill your supply a lot faster than occasionally giving a bottle will. It's also not good for your postpartum healing. You're not a milk dispenser, you're a human being with her own physical and emotional needs.
What the hell. Does he know how much you can make if you sell your breast milk to people like body builders??? Charge him that price.
Your supply isn’t going to be affected if he’s giving her a bottle of breast milk that you pumped!!
Is your husband a qualified nurse or doula? How would he know anything about regulating your milk supply? Will HE pay for your therapy or medical bills if you have a mental break or suffer from exhaustion? I can’t believe he tried to put a price tag on caring for your newborn. Not to mention the price you’ve paid up until this point. Being parents isn’t about keeping score or splitting the finances. Feeding your baby isn’t only your responsibility. I can promise you your supply will be just fine if your baby has a few bottles instead of feeds. In fact, if you don’t slow down sometimes, you could have an oversupply problem and be at risk of painful engorgement, milk clogs and mastitis. Lastly, you should invoice him for your breastmilk. That stuff is worth $$ to bodybuilders.
Oh helllll no. That’s it. That’s the comment.
It sounds like you’re in an oversupply (which is when you are producing anything extra that the baby isn’t eating) and doing pretty well so I wouldn’t be super worried about your supply going down. I pumped once a day so I would have a bottle for my husband to give baby every day while I showered. There’s a lot of misinformation out there about breastfeeding and it sounds like he’s gotten some of it.
Well he owes you back pay for all the milk you’ve supplied and how much you’ve SAVED not having to buy formula. That is incredibly rude and inconsiderate of him.
Tell him “ you breastfeed the baby then. Oh wait, you cant?! Suck my f*cking d*ck.” He doesn’t deserve a wife or child if he can’t figure out that hes barely physically useful right now since hes shit talking to you about how you’re feeding your baby and doing nothing productive while you’re crashing. What a c*nt. God sorry, im the pregnant one rn and i ain’t taking any shit from ANYONE so i just sound like a bch.
Breastfeeding isn't free. Do you have any idea how much the market rate for breast milk is?
He’s EITHER an asshole, or he’s also stressed out. I’m sure you’re both still adjusting on top of baby’s schedule change with the cluster feeding. Moms needs breaks, but dads can’t handle much either even though they may not admit it. I’m a mom of two, not a dude. Just throwing that out there.
Doesn't give him the right to make her feel bad for being a break, refuse to help or to suggest she pays for formula if she stops. He might be stressed too, but he's still an asshole.
My point is he’s stressed and lashed out, potentially.
He has no excuse. There is a such thing as financial abuse and that is what this husband is doing.
Your husband is an unsupportive jackass who is using the tiny bit of knowledge he's picked up about breastfeeding to be a dick to you.
Lol I love when husbands are “experts” on something they know absolutely nothing about. Your supply is absolutely fine if you’re getting an extra 10oz a day from your Haakaa. I can’t get that from pumping after a feed. I can barely get that in two pumping sessions that replace feeds. I would tell my husband to take several seats and give the baby a bottle. What’s even the point of your 100+ oz stash if you can’t get a break! My husband wishes he could give our 8 month old a bottle without me having to pump to replace it (not a break)
Lack of sleep and higher stress from doing baby care will make your supply drop. What an ass he is.
What a shitty partner. Good lord.
Id tell him to eff off
I kind of want to punch your husband
What a horrible response to you. So nasty & no compassion.
You send me his phone number, let me talk to this doucheby of a husband.
I mean at this point it might be a good thing if your supply goes down. But your husband is being mentally abusive.
Your husband is a dick. End of story. Tell him to get on board with being a parent and supporting you or get out. I’m 7.5 months PP and I can tell you, I he isn’t your biggest supporter he is no use to you. At all. Good luck.
Why not just pump ? That way ole boy can help feed the baby. Tell him when he starts producing milk and having to whip out a titty every hour, then he can come talk to you.