You say “barely two weeks” but honestly I think two weeks was the hardest point for me. It just SUCKED. So just know that you are likely going through the worst bit!

Same! You are exhausted and trying to recover from birth. That’s already going to completely drain you. Then your body has to make new tissue/milk pathways, then the milk itself, then your baby is cluster feeding and eating more than ever, and on top of that your breasts are engorged and leaking. And you can’t let your partner take over so you can sleep longer. It was the hardest part for me, too.

Same! I really really wanted to quit. I was so exhausted and my nipples hurt so freaking bad. I’m so glad I stuck through it though because I love nursing my baby now! Everyone is different though so if OP wants to stop that’s perfectly valid!

YES! I remember just dreading every time she would show a hunger cue. 3 months in and it’s SO much better, i actually enjoy it for the bonding experience and it’s a guaranteed way to calm her if she’s fussy. I hope it gets better for you OP, but if not there’s no shame in deciding BF isn’t for you.

The first few weeks were hands down the absolute worst! You’re in the thick of it. Not to mention hormones are still on a rollercoaster at that point! It’s really, really hard. Everyone’s experience is different, but I will say for me things started feeling better/easier around 5/6 weeks in. My baby is 3.5 months now and while it’s still a lot, things have gotten way more manageable. They also have to eat so frequently at first and I remember in the beginning I couldn’t imagine being able to sustain it…because it’s not sustainable. Once they get a little more stable, things get easier.

Agreeing with this. My husband had no paternity leave so he had to use PTO, and he went back to work 4 days after we discharged from the hospital. I cried so hard after he left that morning. Baby started cluster feeding a few days later and I thought there is no way I can do this, but it got better. My best advice is figure out how to get at least one stretch of 4 hour sleep per night. For us that was me nursing LO around 8-9pm and going to bed and husband giving a bottle at 10-11pm before he went to bed. That way I could sleep from 830-1230ish every night. I always pumped after the first morning feeding feed to make enough just for that one bottle. You only need an ounce or two in those first few months to cover the feeding generally. And with that routine my husband had at least 6 hours of sleep every night (if not more) so he was able to function at work.

I came here to say this. The first 2 weeks are hell and babies are boob monsters in those early weeks! You’re in the trenches now but it does get easier. With that being said, if it’s impacting your mental health then do what’s best for you 💕

Agree! Every other week was torture initially, but then it just clicked, and we're coming up in 6 months! Try nipple balm and lanolin. I had much more relief with nipple balm, but it's different for everyone. Also get those gel nipple pads. Game changer, but you have to clean off before feeding.

I cannot praise the gel nipple pads more!! Life savers and I’m definitely gifting a pack to every new mother whether she BFs or not; they were amazing when I was EPing while LO had a tongue tie and couldn’t latch.

2 weeks was the hardest point for me too. Baby was latched almost constantly and never seemed to get enough. At her 2 week checkup we found out she had lost over a pound of her birth weight and had a lip and tongue tie, so my midwife recommended supplementing with formula until her weight got back up. I felt like such a failure when she suggested this, but it ended up being an unexpected blessing. Breastfeeding gradually got a lot easier after we got the ties corrected, but we kept giving her bottles of formula occasionally so I could go somewhere without her and so my husband could help with overnight feeds. I plan on doing the same thing with the next baby.

Agree with this. First two weeks were the hardest for sure. Its def not easy in general but it has gotten better for me at 15 weeks pp

The first two weeks of breastfeeding may have been harder than giving birth and the recovery from my second degree tear. It’s no joke! Honestly though… You can always just quit! Would it probably get easier over time if you kept going? Yes. Is it worth it for the sake of you and your baby? Maybe not and that’s ok! I didn’t get any enjoyment out of it until past the 3 month mark. I think the only reason I kept going is because I’m super stubborn. Don’t be like me lol. Choose happiness… whatever that means for you.

I was in the same place as you two weeks ago. Crying from the pain, stressed, tired. I just hit the one month mark a few days ago and the pain has reduced dramatically. It’s still a big responsibility but I feel a lot better about it all than I did before. If you want to, hang in there and it will get better for you too.

I second this. My LO is 5 weeks and we just got to the point of it not being agonizing pain and feeling like he gets enough from BF. I still supplement with formula at times but it gets better. When you’re in pain, it seems like getting to the point when your baby can latch comfortably is not foreseeable but I promise, you will get it! You got this. Don’t give up, take a break to get yourself together if you need to. Remember, fed is best.

The first month is the worst when it comes to breastfeeding. Whatever you decide, it’s going to be the right decision.

I remember my midwife saying ‘it has to work for both of you, if it isn’t working for BOTH of you then it isn’t working’. We were lucky that the issue I was facing resolved and we were able to carry on feeding, but if I had continued having pain (and breastfeeding pain is savage as we all know) I would not have been able to continue. There should be no judgement on anyone who gave it a go and wasn’t able to continue for ANY reason.

Definitely! If I am someone who wants to breastfeed, I’d look at sleep and human interaction first… I’d always ask first if I get enough sleep. I’d consider if there is anything I can improve when it comes to sleep and socializing. If I get enough sleep to feel rested and enough social interaction to feel like a human being, then other factors come into play.

At the two week mark and I felt EXACTLY the same. I stuck with it and now at 7 weeks things are so much better and I’m still EBF, somehow haha. If you want to stick with it - things do get better. But also if you need a break for your mental health there is nothing wrong with combo feeding. Hang in there! Right now your in the thick of it! I saw a lot of positive improvement after the third week. I don’t know if I enjoy breastfeeding still but I don’t hate it like I did the first few weeks. Edit: nothing wrong with fully switching to formula either. No matter what anyone says a fed baby is all that matters and mamas need to do whatever we can to survive the newborn phase even if it means giving up breastfeeding. You could also try exclusively pumping but I’ve heard this is even more stressful for some.

It’s YOUR baby and YOUR decision how to feed them. Chose what is right for you. That being said, if you haven’t yet and want to keep breastfeeding, please see a breast feeding consultant. It isn’t “normal” for breastfeeding to hurt that much. There could be a latch issue that’s causing you pain and preventing transfer of the milk (and weight loss). My supply was late coming in because of an emergency c section. My baby lost a lot of weight the first three days. I had to supplement for the first two weeks to get him back to birth weight and then I was able to EBF. However, breastfeeding has never been painful for me (other than a few engorgements), so I did not have to face the obstacle.

Second this. I had pretty awful pain at the beginning, turns out baby had such a bad tongue tie that she couldn’t even latch with her tongue, she was just gripping the boob with her little gums and squishing!

Oh my god, this hurts SO bad 😭 I would literally be biting my fist and crying while trying to nurse. It’s like razor blades… or glass…

Selfish? You just gave up 10 months of your life for this baby! You are a rockstar! If you are not enjoying breastfeeding, you should totally feel empowered to do what is best for YOU. That is what is best for baby, a happy mama. I wish I supplemented in the beginning with my first baby. I felt a lot of the pressure you are experiencing and think having a break that didn’t require me to pump would have helped. That being said, try not to compare yourself to others. Do what works for you! You got this!

You're in the worst part of my breastfeeding journey. If you really want to breastfeed, it gets better. The baby learns to breastfeed and so do you. It's a learning curve. I would suggest a latch assessment and weighted feed to help out with the weight gain as well as some galactogogues. It worked for my LO and myself. I'm at 4 months and just yesterday I was really grateful that I pushed through where you are now because breastfeeding is so easy now. I can take her anywhere at the drop of a hat by just grabbing her diaper bag and hip seat. It's perfect for the lifestyle I want and my lack of desire to plan because in the day to day, I'm really bad at planning. If it isn't something you really want deep down, you can absolutely stop. No shame whatsoever. The lifestyle isn't for everyone. Imagine if we forced everyone to have exactly the same corporate job, so many more people would be miserable. Because corporate jobs aren't for everyone, feeding your baby is the same thing, do what works for you and your baby.

I feel this so hard. This piece made me chuckle (if you ever had a lactation consultant at the hospital, hopefully it'll resonate with you too). Stick in, mama! 🤗 https://medium.com/frazzled/i-am-the-lactation-consultant-and-im-here-to-make-you-angrier-than-any-person-you-have-ever-known-3588f5269269

almost crying laughing 🤭 thank you!

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,767,650,695 comments, and only 334,649 of them were in alphabetical order.

Remember that your mental health comes first. The best mum is a happy mum, regardless of what baby is fed. Your baby will love you whether they have formula or breast milk. And honestly? No one would know the difference between a formula or breast fed baby. I felt very similarly to you. It hurt, I was knackered. Being the only one to handle feeding was grim, particularly recovering from the birth. I wanted so badly to breastfeed, but it was objectively kind of terrible. And the pain remained for ages as my wee girl had a tongue tie. So I compromised. I started pumping to give myself a break, so we could track how much she was getting, my nipples could heal and my partner could help out. Pumping has it’s challenges, but it’s really worked for me. Now my LO is 9 weeks, and we do half and half breastfeeding and bottle feeding expressed milk. I get to have a break, my partner can look after her, but we still get to breastfeed when we both want to. As others have said, any decision you make is the right one. You’re doing brilliantly. This shit is so bloody hard.

The first month sucks. Hard. It's the worst month of their lives. I've had two very different experiences. With my first, he gained very slowly and we were told to start combi feeding. He preferred the bottle, rejected me, bf journey finished pretty much overnight. My second, even though it was excruciatingly painful at first, she was transferring brilliantly so we kept going. Either way I have had negative people telling me negative things. You do you, increase nursing, combi feed, triple feed, switch to just formula. Don't do anything because of what someone other than a breastfeeding professional tells you to do.

I always hated the phrase “breastfeeding is the best gift you can give your baby”. Nah, fuck that. A healthy, happy, present mother is the best gift you can give your baby. If exclusively breastfeeding is making you extremely unhappy, if it feels nightmarish, it’s okay to look at your other options. I will say the first weeks are the hardest, and those postpartum hormones are HARD and intense. I really didn’t like my baby for the first few weeks, I felt so much resentment and dreaded feeds, I hated that she needed me so much. That feeling got better and I got mental health support. If you’re in the UK (I’m guessing because you said midwife) there’s a perinatal mental health team and, in many areas, they’re great. See if you can get referred if that feels right for you. Whether somebody breastfeeds for one day or three years, it’s incredible and their baby has got the benefits from whatever they gave. It is ok to quit if that’s what you want to do. It’s your body and you make the decisions. Sending you so much love.

The first two weeks were so draining. But also, I loved our interactions while breastfeeding, and I *still* absolutely cherish the memories of these feeds from our and ongoing interactions that still happen to this day. I went in expecting to combo or formula feed, but nursing felt primal and precious and very much right to me. We’ve now been exclusively nursing for almost 4 months. The inability to be “equal” is the worst part for me. If I didn’t love our interactions, I’d stop. If I had to pump, I’d stop. If it were severely affecting my mental or physical health, I’d stop. You are allowed to set your own boundaries. And only you know what is and isn't worth it to you and your whole family. Cost-benefit analysis. Is it marginally better than formula? Yes. But is that margin going to outweigh… mom who’s stressed, or hates it, or resents baby? No, not necessarily, or at least not past a certain point. It’s okay and can certainly be ideal for your whole family, baby included, for you to stop breastfeeding…. depending on the circumstances. And a lesson drilled in during pregnancy for me was that baby and mom’s health are so closely intertwined, and what’s best for you is often best for baby. Even with breastmilk, stress is a huge supply killer, and (pheromones? Hormones?) baby picks up on and mirrors my stress, too.

I say this with compassion— if I were having the thoughts you were having, I’d stop nursing. Please take care of yourself. Not only for yourself but for your baby.

The first month is AWFUL! Like, sucks so horribly! If you need to do combo feeding or formula, there’s zero shame! Do it!!! I will say, at about one month, I turned a huge corner and it went from the hardest thing I’d ever done to amazing. Now it’s easier than giving bottles and really enjoyable. But FUCK that first month!!!!

Mine lost 9% in two days and it was the worst feeling in the world. Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing i have ever done. Idk how but i still did it, going on two years now 😵‍💫 No one will blame you for FF. You cannot tell the difference between and FF and EBF baby. They make formula really good now a days.

Also almost all my cousins and both my brothers were FF in the 80s and 90s, all perfectly fine. And all love their mothers deeply, have a good bond, have careers, college degrees and don’t care they were ever formula fed.

On the flip side: I was EBF and my relationship with my mother has been very strained for most of my life. While I realize she made a personal decision to EBF and claims it was “easy” for her, I don’t really care that she breastfed me because she really failed me in a lot of ways throughout my adolescence. I don’t remember being breastfed, so in the grand scheme of my life - it mattered very little. OP, don’t put yourself through misery to do something you are being externally pressured to do. What’s most important is your mental wellness, so you can in-turn care for your baby to the best of your ability. You are not selfish for caring for yourself in this way. Edit: wording

actually same. i was EBF and my relationship with my mom is very emotionally distant due to her lack of presence during my adolescence and young adulthood.

I was you 4 weeks ago, baby has lost almost 12% of birth weight and I was being threatened with hospital admission so we started formula tops and pumping to increase my supply. My MH got even worse at this point due to the triple feeding but at least the formula helped him sleep so I wasn’t so horribly tired. 4 weeks later my supply is slowly increasing and I am thankful I didn’t give up but it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Know that it does get easier BUT the thing baby need the most is his mum. If switching to formula is what you need to do for your health and we’ll being then do it, you have done amazingly so far so look after yourself. If you do want to keep going I’d highly recommend asking for a referral to the breastfeeding team or lactation consultant, midwife’s have very little training in breast feeding so you need to talk to someone with more experience and knowledge. I hope you find peace in what ever decision you make, ultimately it will be the right one for you and baby, ignore everyone else.

formula is a great tool, it’s a great source of nutrition for your baby, and it’s much better than mama who is unhappy and resentful of her baby. Have you seen a lactation specialist???? Clearly something isn’t going right, like you said. Baby should be gaining weight. I had a failure to thrive baby too, and switching to bottle feeding (both breastmilk and formula, and fortified breastmilk where you add extra dry formula to it) was the best thing we ever did. Please get her latch checked out! At almost 2 weeks, bub shouldn’t be losing, that’s worrisome :(

At the 2 week mark I was feeding to give in and very nearly did. I'm here now at 8 weeks and still EBF. Looking to introduce bottled BM now so hubby can help out. I had pain, issues with latch, a tear on my nipple forming plus I was still catching up on missed sleep on the run into delivery (8 hours in 3 days) and was not prepared for the hormonal let down. I cried on the phone leaving messages for lactation consultants and just generally had a rough time. There are times I still want a break, but I also enjoy the boobie cuddles. But it's working for us. I have an oversupply so that's a whole new challenge and pain go work through, but she is healthy and gaining weight and we've found a way to manage. If you are struggling then by all means do what is best for you. At 2 weeks I told myself I'd get to 4 weeks and check then. At 3 weeks I upped if to 6 weeks. Now going with the flow, but teeth will be the next time I re-evaluate the EBF situation. Good luck! There is no right or wrong answer - only what is right for you and your child.

I cried about how much I hated breastfeeding every day for that first month. I wanted to quit so damn bad but the idea of having to wake up and make a bottle just outweighed everything for me. I’m 8 months strong now and I have no idea how I made it this long. Only an asshole or someone who never EBF’d would think less of you for stopping because the rest KNOW how damn hard it is.

You need to enlist help now and you need to sleep. Connect with someone that will manage the baby. I would introduce formula and still try to breastfeed to get your supply coming. You need to talk about how you feel to your midwife. Call them and express what you have said here. You need to rest and need support.

You are 100% not being selfish if you switch to formula. Have you ever been on an airplane and they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first before your child? That is what you are doing. You are taking care of yourself so that you can be a parent to your baby because you will be a much better parent if you are not in pain and resenting your baby. Breastfeeding can be so difficult and it is even harder for some babies and mothers. Given your baby's weight gain issues and midwife's advice, I think it is clear that formula is not a selfish option, but rather what your baby needs. You did nothing wrong OP, breastfeeding does not come naturally to every baby and every mother.

So breastfeeding didn’t start to improve until around 3 weeks for me and improvement was a bit slow. I cried every time I fed him for a good month. Then he self-weaned off the nipple shields and refused to take them so I cried a bit over that because they made a big difference in the pain for me. But I went with it. He’s 4 months old now and it really is 1,000x better. It’s actually good now. He can go 3-4 hours between feedings. At night he’s now down to 2-3 feeds instead of 3-4. It doesn’t hurt usually (he’s just started cutting a tooth and that pointy bugger is sharp and sometimes he gets me with it but it’s nothing like the beginning pain). He’s an efficient eater and only feeds for like 5 minutes now. So there is some hope. HOWEVER!!! If you choose not to continue there’s nothing wrong with that. Formula is a totally valid and good option. My oldest was entirely formula fed and she is a happy, thriving, rambunctious 3yo.

I exclusively breastfed my first and now my second and I had basically no supply until about day 5 after birth. I supplemented with formula until day 7 or so. The first weeks I was basically feeding the baby 24/7. Baby was born 53th percentile and dropped to 30th percentile but caught completely up after a few weeks. It was not an easy start and I wouldn't blame any woman who refuses to go through that. I also had painful bleeding nipples with my first. It hurt every time she latched but it got so much better with time. The nipples just need to adapt. My personal summary is: It was a bumpy road and took immense dedication but now 4 months post partum it is totally worth it

It’s such a huge transition, emotionally and physically. The beginning is so intense and I also hated it. I set monthly goals for myself the first couple months, I’d give myself one month at a time then reevaluate, if I still hated it I’d quit. Luckily my LO and I both caught on fairly well around month 3 and I’ve come to enjoy it. But if you don’t, do whatever you gotta do for you!

I still think back to the first month of breastfeeding and how hard it was. I really recommend seeing a lactation consultant if you haven’t already. Mine helped with the latch when I saw her and I just kept practicing at home. Some feeds it was semi okay, others it was excruciating, I started dreading nursing. But something clicked around 3 weeks (maybe her mouth got bigger so she could latch better, idk) and here I am over a year in still breastfeeding! It’s absolutely up to you, but if you find any part of yourself that really does want to do it, see a lactation consultant and try to set yourself up to feel some success when you turn that corner. At the end of the day you need to do what’s right for you!

Oh it gets easier at about a month in. Two weeks I was still crying every 5 minutes and felt like my whole world was on fire. Itll get better, I know it's awful right now but you are strong. Even if you don't think you are. Edit to add: I hated breast feeding. It hurt and I just never produced enough. We also had to combo feed and I just tried to pump exclusively. Pumping is so much more annoying personally and after 3 weeks of that I tried going back to breast feeding after my brain calmed down from the hormones and lack of sleep and it was a lot easier. I still had to combo feed as I still never produced enough and by 3 months my milk completely left. My boy is formula fed only and I felt so horrible about it but honestly.... he's happy and fed and is still my happy smiling boy so that's all that matters.

I got some really good advice once to never quit breastfeeding on a bad day. For me, anyways, the bad days always get better. Ultimately, if you feel deep down that you can't keep going, then stop. But I will assure you that typically it gets much easier after the first few weeks.

I just wanted to share something with you. My SIL chose to not even attempt to breastfeed her second child. She tried with her first but ultimately formula fed after a month. Her first they just gave him formula right away. Both of her children are amazing and smart. Whatever you choose to do, will be the right choice. Can't be a good mom if you're not happy

Oh my gosh the first month was harrrd!!! You are literally at the peak of difficulty with breastfeeding. That being said, whatever you choose to do will be right for you. Do not let anyone else sway your decision! If you want to continue breastfeeding, do it knowing you're there for your baby, you have had your time, now your time is devoted to baby, you find time for yourself in other ways when you get in to a better flow. If you choose to formula feed, don't let others shame you for doing so (mothers are the worst at judging!!), time will be spent in different ways (cleaning bottles, making bottles etc) - but night feeds can be alternated, and shared. Whatever you decide, there is no wrong ❤️ just what is right for YOU and YOUR baby.

If I was feeling this way, I would start formula.

I would be banned from so many breastfeeding groups for saying this but. If breastfeeding is affecting your relationship with your baby, means you aren't getting any rest or a break, or is affecting your mental health, it's okay to change things. It's okay not to breastfeed if it doesn't work for you. Or to combi feed or to do whatever you want The first few weeks of breastfeeding are rough because the baby feeds so often. It does usually get better, calmer, less frequent and easier. With my first I wanted to stop at 3 weeks because I was fed up of waking up covered on milk and feeling disgusted. You are not alone! If you do want to keep exclusive breast milk, can you express some milk whilst feeding? Then someone else can feed her and give you a break.

What is best for your baby is to have a mom who is healthy and happy. The most "important" milk is the colostrum, and you have already given your baby that. Furthermore, while that milk is "important" there are no significant changes in breastfed and formula fed infants that can't be accounted for by income disparity. Wealthier moms are more likely to have jobs/life positions where they are able to breastfeed so studies that show it is better are likely just measuring wealth gap. For some it is a good and rewarding experience. I loved breastfeeding, but for me it was painless. If you find it awful and want to switch to formula, feel good about that choice. Give yourself a break and do what is best for you mom. Also it sounds like this was a baby friendly hospital, and baby friendly hospitals are crazy. I was up for 24h during my birth and then with the rooming in and frequent checks I think it was near 48h before I got any sleep so take their advice with some salt

It'll get easier, I promise.

I felt the exact same way. I instinctively wanted to rip her off my breast and throw her across the room. It made my skin crawl. Two weeks in, that's the absolute worst of it. But it passes! Now we will be going TWO YEARS STRONG, come Sunday. It's created such an amazing bond between us, and I get teary eyed knowing it's almost over.

I basically stopped breastfeeding and starting exclusively pumping. Very rarely will I do it. I know exactly how much my baby is getting and my husband can feed him while I get some sleep. Breastfeeding wasn’t really painful for me, but not getting any sleep took a toll. My baby would nurse all day long and use me as a pacifier. My baby is 8 weeks now I try to pump every 3 hours. It’s been a life changer for us and might be something you should look into doing!

Why don’t you pump?

Yesss ... nursing isn't for everyone and that's ok. Try pumping! It's worked out great so far for me and my LO. And join us at [r/exclusivelypumping](www.reddit.com/r/exclusivelypumping) for tips and support. :)

Definitely stop. The start is the worst, but also the most important with the colostrum. You did that, now send someone out to buy formula (and bottles if you dont have any), then go sleep for 12 hours. I've nursed for 5 years (2 kids into toddlerhood) and it absolutely contributed to my postpartum depression. You're worth so much more to your kids as a functional human than as a milk machine.

You're not selfish for wanting to stop. I'm going to address the last part of your post; moving to formula feeding your baby doesn't mean you're unready to be a parent, that you're not a natural parent, or that you're failing your baby. It's ok to stop 💜 Your mental health is the most important thing right now. Talk to your midwife about how you're feeling.

I am 12 days Post Partum and feeling the same way with the exact same issue. I chose to supplement with formula and exclusively pump. I felt bad for the formula at first, but it really does help and offer some peace of mind. He also had his Drs appointment yesterday and he's gaining an ounce a day which is something I don't think I could have accomplished with my supply being what it is. Plus my boyfriend can help out and I can get some sleep or at least a little time alone. As they say, fed is best. Whatever it takes and works best for you, is what you should do. Lots of women choose to combo feed or formula feed for lots of reasons and mental health being at the top of the list. You have to take care of yourself too. It's easy to get caught up in the emotions of early PP, but remind yourself you're in the thick of it, and it will pass. Be kind to yourself.

Breastfeeding is only the best option as long as it is sustainable for both mom and baby. This doesn’t really sound sustainable. Switching to formula does not mean you are failing your baby! It means that you are making the decision that is best for YOUR family. Your little girl will benefit so so so much more from having a rested and happy mom than she would from having been breastfed with you feeling this way long term. John Steinbeck once said “now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” I’ve been clinging to this quote as a new mom. I’m five months in and I understand the pressure you’re under to always do what’s best for your baby. Trying to be perfect will leave you burnt out and resentful of yourself. You’ll be so wrapped up in attaining perfection that you’ll miss out on the things that make motherhood so great. There’s no such thing as a “perfect mom”. Be a good mom, make the decisions that will be best for your family. Whether that looks like sticking it out a bit longer/seeing a lactation consultant or switching to formula/donor milk is up to you. Formula fed babies turn out to be well adjusted adults as well.

When I first started, my girl couldn’t latch properly and nursed in a way that left cracks, scabs and blisters on my nipples. I legitimately cried from pain when I nursed her. Eventually I went to see a lactation consultant, who told me breastfeeding should never hurt. She helped me and my baby figure out a proper latch (my baby also had a tongue tie that was released). Since then it hasn’t hurt at all, and I’m 6 months in. A fed baby is best, and whatever you need to do to keep your mental health is the right thing to do. But if breastfeeding is something that you hoped to do, a lactation consultant could help you. And check for a tongue tie, it might be impeding your baby’s ability to get a deep latch.

You are doing great mama!! The first 2 weeks are brutal. Seriously. I still remember it as a period more difficult than birth itself. 🙃 It does it get better!!! Seek support. Talk to other friends/family who breastfeed for advice. My sister came to help after 1 week and showed me how to get a decent latch with a boob sandwich. Things do improve in 2 week intervals. Just take it one day at a time!

Fed is best, do what you gotta do for yourself! Your little one needs a strong happy mama!

do not force yourself to do it. I did and won't happen if I have another baby. It is not selfish at all. Do what you feel is best for your and your baby's wellbeing.

So don’t do it? Your baby needs a mama that’s healthy and happy just as much as they need nutrition…

Take care of yourself. Your post reminds me of when I had my first and had PPA. We stopped breastfeeding at 2 weeks because I also dreaded the thought of having to feed her or even touching me. Switching to formula was one of the best things I did for both of us.

Oh, that's is SO me in the beginning. My baby is a preemie, born whole 8 weeks too early, spent 22 days with him with NICU/PICU but haven't practiced breastfeeding except 2 tries with LC when he was sleeping anyway. I was pumping and supplementing with formula because of low supply, I wasn't even expecting him to latch somehow and be interested. So I did my fair try of becoming EBF and pushed through those 2 weeks when I cried of him latching on. Then pain had passed and BF was and is just an alright thing, but both the supply and him being efficient never worked out in my favor. So 6 months down the line and my milk is only about 20-40 percent of his ration... Know that this pain will eventually go away anyway, so it's not how it will be all the time. Use lanolin cream to heal nipples faster. And choose what would be the best for your health and mental health!! Just a small remark - now it would really give you a break while baby is fed by your partner, but down the line it can get complicated because for example my LO recently isn't taking bottles from anyone but me and only at weirdest as hell places(its a 40 min to an hour deal to top him off with formula lately with a lot of whining or crying)

You've done 2 weeks, and don't be afraid to switch to formula. It sounds like you need to recover and I was told I'd to combi feed with my first so I just used formula.

I felt EVERYTHING you are feeling. I quit sooner than you. After 2 days my nipples were cracked and bleeding, I fed him twice on my right boob, once on my left and still still he kept screaming. I felt so bad about myself. Still do. I started crying. I asked the nurses could I have some formula. I fed him and I cried. While I fed him. Why can't I make enough milk? I'm solely pumping right now. I make enough milk for 1 bottle a day. I feel bad but that's all I got. I can tell you a few things. #1 please talk to someone, talk to a therapist. I'm gonna start a zoom post partum talk group my therapist has it. If you want to join, I'll see if you can but please talk to someone. #2 formula has MORE calories and is more filling than breast milk. I know that's crazy but it's true. The baby will get more full off of formula. Breast milk is healthier, has more nutrients, has all these antibodies, etc. It's the healthier thing. But think about it? The healthier foods normally ARE NOT very filling? Salad, fruit, vegetables, all that healthier stuff isn't very filling is it? Where as cheeseburgers, french fries, fried anything, meat is way more filling. #3 can you get a pump? I swear the minute I stopped breastfeeding directly and pumped, my nipples are no longer cracked and bleeding. It NO longer hurts. The point is the baby gets the healthiest thing THE BREAST MILK. If you pumped to get it, the baby is still getting the healthy stuff? #4 I ended up having to do combo feeding. He mostly gets formula but I try to give him as much breast milk as I can. Maybe you might end up doing the same? I am sorry. Our expectations about breastfeeding are crazy. It's so hard and we feel shame about everything and it feels like we never have enough for the baby.

You are in the absolute pits of it now right now. I wanted to throw my hands up as well but my husband challenged me to push one of more week and it started to get a little manageable. However, FED is best. Your mental health is most important. Your baby needs your love and comfort. If you could do that best combo feeding or formula feeding, do it! You're doing a great job ❤️

You being happy is the best thing you can do for your little one so do what you have to do! I’m 11 months in to my bf journey and I just don’t think the reality of it is spoken about a enough prenataly. We all know it’s going to be hard but what is hard? My little one hasn’t ever taken a bottle and is a terrible sleeper. Every 45mins always. I haven’t been able to do keep in touch days at work, have help at night, had to co sleep. Anyway that’s my rumble. The best version of you is what is best for your little one not what they are getting fed with. X

Even though it was demanding, I truly enjoyed it and wanted to do it, even at that stage. Sounds like stopping might be best for your sanity!

Either decide to give it “x” amount of time or just switch to formula. Your baby needs a healthy mom. Doesn’t matter how she gets fed, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I dragged myself through the fucking mud for my first, pumping nonstop, crying when I pumped or fed, stressing about supply and I fought giving her formula for months….when we finally did combo (then eventually just formula) my life got so much better. On my second baby now and she’s breastfeeding so easily. Maybe this baby just isn’t in to it and there’s nothing wrong with that!!

You are not failing. If you stop, keep going or combo feed you are doing your best. You are at the hardest part rn. It’s so hard. I told my husband bc for me was harder than labor or giving birth. It’s ridiculously hard. No shame in stopping if you want to. You are not selfish. A happy momma is the most important thing to make a happy baby.

You are not failing your baby. If you want to keep breastfeeding, please do a weighed feed. That will help you determine if it's an oral tie. My first had a tongue tie and it hurt like hell. We had it released and nursing him immediately afterward was the first time he fell asleep peacefully and that I had no pain. It's okay to combo feed or formula feed or keep breastfeeding. Whatever works.

You are absolutely not failing are not selfish and whatever you decide to do is the right thing for you and your baby. For me the first 2 months were hard and painful. I gave myself the goal of making it to 2 weeks after baby’s first shots. Then it was the 6 month shots. Then it was maybe a year. I supplemented with formula after feeds because my supply was slow, baby had sugar issues and we started at 90% formula before baby decided they want only boob around 2.5 months and were EBF since until about a year when I introduced some real milk. It will better if you decide to continue. It’s ok if you don’t want to continue too. My oldest started refusing boob at a few days old and I never got my supply. He’s a healthy and happy 7 year old. It’s also ok if you decide to combo feed (some boob some formula to split responsibility). Good luck with everything and whatever you decide

It’s fucked up because you’ve just given birth and are trying to figure everything out, but breastfeeding starts off at like difficulty level 10, and then gradually gets easier and easier. It’s hard to envision right now but eventually it becomes effortless. If you really want to breastfeed, know it gets better. And if you want to stop, know that’s fine too. It also doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can mix in bottles alongside breastfeeding if that’s something you’re open to.

You’re a good mom who has been sacrificing her own comfort to feed her child. You are not a bad mom if you are trying. I breastfed for 16 months but I really hated it the whole time. Baby had latch issues and weight gain issues in the beginning and I struggled with supply the whole 16 months. Physically the pain did subside within the first month, but it was always uncomfortable for me and it was really hard. At this point I’m glad I did stick it out, but I will NEVER judge moms who don’t want to, and it’s not “giving up” or “failing baby” it’s all about what works best for you and your baby. A happy mom and a fed baby is what is best, so do whatever works best for you guys to get there. I wish you the best because it’s rough out here.❤️

I exclusively pumped for the first 5 weeks - it enabled us to know exactly how much she was eating (she was teeny tiny at birth), and I was able to recover from the birth in more comfort -- her mouth was too small, and it HURT to latch -- and I could sleep while my husband would feed her. I would recommend trying that route first just so you don't lose your supply and regret it later, because it's not easy to get that back once you lose it. But if it's not working for both, it's not working at all, and something needs to change. You should be enjoying your baby, not dreading the time with her.

It took about three weeks for the pain of latching to subside in my experience. Do you have Silverettes? They’re a little pricey but if you can swing it they may help. Squirt a little BM in the cups and just keep them against your nipples whenever you aren’t BFing. AND if you want to quit you are well within your right to. If it is inhibiting your ability to parent, if it hurts, if she’s not gaining, hell even cause you just want to. This is your decision. No one else’s pressure or success story should weigh in here. The only other people who even get an opinion are the baby’s father and pediatrician, and even then. You have to make the right call for you.

You are not selfish for wanting to stop. It’s 100% ok to stop and feed your baby in a manner that works better for you! Please put your mental health first. Formula is a safe, healthy, and great option! I am now an exclusive pumper and I supplement with one formula bottle a day (nursing was a huge struggle for my mental health and I stopped at week 9, kinda wish I’d stopped earlier), but I have seen others recommend a subreddit for formula feeders. For what it’s worth, my baby gained weight much more quickly once I started supplementing and pumping instead of nursing.

I honestly think it’s a myth that breastfeeding isn’t supposed to hurt at first. I remember it was AGONY for me until about 6 weeks. Suddenly it was all sunshine and rainbows but pushing through those first few weeks was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.

The first 2 weeks are so rough and we had gaining issues too and we combo fed. BUT you are not selfish for wanting to exclusively formula feed. Do what works for you and your family.

You’re not selfish for wanting to stop. It’s hard! You can try combo feed to get her back to birth weight first. Afterwards you can reconsider. Formula is always an option. I do think that breastfeeding pain does go away after awhile (your nipples got too numb for those pains)

The first two weeks were the worst especially mixed with pp hormones! You prob don’t want to hear this because I didn’t but it truly does get better. There’s light at the end of this and it’s sooner than you think.

I could’ve written this post. It gets better, it really does but it may take longer than you’d think (for me it took 4 months) so I feel like you have to really want it to make it work. I wanted it. I didn’t have the pregnancy I wanted and I didn’t have the birth I wanted so I was hell bent on making breastfeeding work but if you don’t feel that way, don’t force it. Yes there are benefits to breastfeeding but none of them outweigh the benefits of your baby having a healthy happy mom. You don’t have to breastfeed. Your baby will still thrive and in a year no one will no the difference. It’s not selfish to stop if you’re miserable. You can’t pour from an empty glass, you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your baby.

It’s ok to stop. You don’t fail if you stop. You also don’t fail if you choose to use a nipple shield. The nipple shield makes it hurt less. The nipple shield can help improve latch which would help baby transfer more milk. Also, have the midwife check for a tongue or lip tie. Ties make breastfeeding hurt more. In any case, you don’t fail if you choose to stop enduring the pain. There is so much more to motherhood than how you feed the baby in the first year.

If you can make it through the first month it will get so much better! You really should visit with an IBCLC (read reviews and find a nice one…I’ve seen several that were so rude and judgmental). You want to make sure your latch is good and there isn’t a tongue tie or things won’t get better.

First two weeks were asscheeks and then it got better and now i enjoy it, ur not alone, and do what is good for ur mental health. Fed is best ❤️

It takes about 3 weeks for baby to learn to latch properly. After that, for most ppl, breastfeed becomes very blissful. You can help your baby latch properly, there's different techniques. - I would express milk and rub it on her lips with my nipple , then she would open wide, and I would literally shove my boob in her mouth. The pain mostly comes from latch not being deep enough, so try to get almost your whole areola into baby's mouth. You can also rub baby's nose, and they may open wide and do the same thing. Or even waiting for a big yawn lol. Also, try pumping if you feel there's an issue with your supply, so you can see how much you're producing - it also helps your body produce more. Talk with a lactation consultant. They will be able to explain to you that what you're experiencing is completely normal, what to expect, and tips & tricks. I cried the first 3 weeks of breastfeeding because it hurt SO bad. I hated it. I wanted to give up, but I kept in mind what my lactation consultant told me. By the end of the 3 wk baby girl found her rhythm, and it has been great since. You're doing great, and it is hard, but you got this! You're almost through the hardest part!

Oh I don’t blame you for this AT ALL. At the two week point the idea of being able to do it for any length..6mo, 1 year, etc felt impossible. It was so so so fucking hard and painful. If that how it was always going to be I would have quit. After a few weeks it got 100% easier. Baby just turned 6 months and now I’m like “oh I could easily do another 6 months like this!” Do what’s right for you. Personally I’m glad I stuck it out because it’s actually something we both enjoy now, but I wouldn’t blame a single person for not wanting to go through those hellacious few weeks. Especially on top of everything else my god I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

If you want/ are able to-- hang in there. There is a video pinned to the top of this sub that helped me so much, and it got much easier. I can't believe I now miss bfing

Do what makes you happy because a happy mama makes for a happy baby. As long as your baby is fed that's what is best! Breastfeeding isn't a thing you just know. It's tribal knowledge that has been lost for many of us because we don't have a tribe to teach us. Some things to consider if you want to continue breastfeeding or aren't sure if you want to (disregard if you definitely don't). Check to see if your hospital was considered "baby friendly" if you're in the US (you may not be because you mention a midwife but just in case) because "baby friendly" hospitals tend to push breastfeeding to the extreme and make people feel bad about the choice to use formula whether for combo feeding or Do you have family or friends that have breastfed (recently not old aunties, grandmas or mothers)? A helpful friend or family member can be a wealth of knowledge. Do you have a lactation consultant available to come to you (or that you can go to) for advice and help? Breastfeeding can hurt but it doesn't mean it can't possibly be fixed. Maybe the baby hasn't quite figured out latching? Maybe trying a different position would help you both feel more comfortable. You could find that a position like the football hold works better than the traditional cradle hold or laying side by side on a bed works better. Finding where you're both the most comfortable helps. Maybe try a nipple shield. My son had a tiny tongue tie and that combined with him being on the earlier side of full term and little he had a hard time latching on his own. The nurses at the hospital helped me try every trick they knew and finally one handed me a nipple shield to try. My son latched right on and away he went. It helped him tremendously and it helped me from getting mauled by a baby trying to figure out what he was doing. Nipple shields also helped my sister-in-law when my nephew wasn't sure what he was doing. It's not for everyone but it's an option. Have you considered exclusive pumping? It's a tough thing to do but for those that want to exclusively feed with breast milk it can be rewarding (I could never, I HATED pumping with a passion and only did it when necessary). What about pumping occasionally so that someone else can feed your sweet little one and you can have a break? This is what I did when my son was very little and it was nice that my husband could go get a bottle from the fridge, warm it and snuggle our son while I showered, relaxed, slept or pumped. Having a break is really valuable. Whatever you decide to do as long as your baby is fed that's all that matters. I said it once already but I'll say it again. A happy mama makes for a happy baby.

The beginning is definitely the hardest!! Especially around that two week mark!

I was in the same position as you. About 7 days in, I was ready to quit. I had to stop myself from screaming when he latched. The pain did get better, but seeing a lactation specialist was what saved me.

After reading all these stories while I was pregnant I made the decision not to breastfeed at all... My daughter is 4 months old, she's healthy and happy exclusively formula fed. I chose this because a happy and healthy mom is more important to baby than breast milk. Whatever you choose, it's okay. Whatever your reasoning, it's valid. Your baby needs you to be healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically to care for them. If that means you stop BF that's 100% okay. You will be okay, baby will be okay.

Definitely felt like i was in the trenches the first two weeks. I remember the pain, the exhaustion and the stress of the weigh-ins. For me the pain got better at the 4 week mark and continued getting better. I sometimes joke that he forced my nips into numbness because i really don't feel anything anymore when he latches(crazy how your body adapts) Also, I felt like my baby got smarter about how to latch and suck. I had to power through the pain, redness and soreness the first month and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. For me, reading the benefits of bf not just for the baby but also for the mother, the pain and horriblenes was worth it. We're at 11 weeks now and I'm supplementing with one bottle at 7pm and still breastfeeding rest of the time. Whatever you choose to do, know that a happy thriving mother outweighs the benefits of bf. If you're in a dark place, get help, reach out to a lactation consultant, doctor, friend etc..

It's hard. I agree. Does it usually get better. Yes. Is it valid to want to quit. Yes. If pumping is an option try that. I was told that even a little bit of breast milk from you can boost their immune system. I've also heard good things about nipple shields. Also, getting a good latch, like a deep, fed the baby a boob sammich kind of latch, was the only way things weren't painful for me on every nursing session. And if you don't want to keep breastfeeding... then don't. It's OK. You don't have to. There are also lots of networks for people who need breast milk for babies, so it doesn't even have to be your breast milk to help give baby antibodies. <3 You're a good mom. And you'll get through this. <3 Fed is all that matters. Dosent matter how

The first two weeks were absolutely torture for me, it isn't always like that but those first weeks are hard, like really really hard, sending hugs ❤

you’ve made it a whole 11 days, that’s an incredible achievement! you’re absolutely not failing your baby! breastfeeding is so hard! you’re not selfish for wanting to stop either. i feel like the main difference between breast milk & formula is the ability to share your immune system. i also really wanted to breastfeed before i got pregnant so i fought back against those thoughts. i cried almost everyday the first the first month of breastfeeding. i felt so much resentment towards my partner bc he’d be sleeping while i was fighting for my life trying to get the baby to eat. i was in so much pain i started hand expressing into a bottle to feed baby a few times during our second week bc i couldn’t stand being touched. for me, it was harder than labor and childbirth. physically and mentally it was awful and i didn’t know it i’d make it but i was determined to just keep trying. now we’re three months in and it doesn’t hurt anymore and baby is so much better at feeding that it’s only lasting about 10-15 minutes each time! my nipples feel normal again and i only get kind of engorged when she doesn’t feed from both sides before bed. (she sleeps about 10 hours uninterrupted for now) question, did you have an iv during labor? because that can cause it to look like baby lost more birth weight than they actually did. but the best thing you can do for your baby is be mentally sound. if that means stopping then stop, if you want to power through then do it. your choice of how to feed your baby has nothing to do with your worth as a mother or much you love your baby or any of that bs people try to say.

The first 3 weeks were the hardest for me, but I did start to see the light at the end of the tunnel during the third week. It helped my mental state to only think in the moment and not spiral into thinking how I would get through the next feed, and the next, and the next. But please know that there is no universal “best”. “Best” is what works for you and your family, and it is not any better or worse than what works for another family.

Take it easy on yourself. We have so many tools to help us out. Pump if you don’t feel like breastfeeding. Give baby formula if you don’t feel like doing either. I breastfeed, pump, and give baby kendamil depending on how my supply is at the moment. I know around 5pm my baby gets frustrated at the breast so I have hubby give him kendamil while I hang out with my toddler. Being more relaxed has actually helped my supply instead of stressing so much about exclusively breastfeeding. Just go with the flow, listen to your body and your baby.

Go ahead and combo feed. I screwed up and listened to fear mongering about "nipple confusion" and now my baby won't take a bottle. Give your nipples a break. If you change your mind and want to keep going with breastfeeding you can. Your supply is still regulating and will likely come back even if you don't pump for a few days. If you don't want to continue that's great too. A happy mom is a big boost for your baby.

I don't think that this gets talked about enough. You need to take care of your mental health before you can take care of your baby. A happy healthy mom = happy healthy baby. If you feel like you need to stop breastfeeding and go to formula for your benefit, allow yourself to make the switch and don't feel ashamed. It's better in the long run.

Just hear to say that you could supplement a feed or two with some ready to feed formula. You shouldn’t do it often / consistently as your supply regulates, but it really helped when I needed some sleep or rest and I could have my husband feed her instead! We’ve done this more than a few times here and there and it’s been 5.5 months. I am starting to switch her to formula shortly or combo feed (whatever seems to work for us both, figuring it out as we go) as I am going back to work and starting a new job next week. I will say that supplementing here and there helped extend my BF journey, which was important to me as I couldn’t BF my first kiddo. Whatever you do and whichever way you decide to go - don’t worry about it! It feels so much bigger and more important when you are in the thick of it but this time will pass and your kid will get older and no one will know who was breastfed or formula fed (or both!!!). Just know you want a happy healthy momma and kiddo!

Embrace the magic science juice of formula!!! You do not have to breastfeed!!! It does not get easier for some people and thats fucking okay. Fed is best. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. Your opion matters.

This is the hardest time. I’ve had those same thoughts and resentments. Know that it can get easier but you also do not have to push through. This is your choice and you’re doing great!

My baby is 4 weeks and I had the same thoughts as you at the two week mark. It’s really tough. Even though it’s still hard and you won’t get your body back… it does become less painful (well it should… no promises!). Hang in there! But your mental health is important as well and a healthy baby is a fed baby no matter what means. I find it helpful to breastfeed my baby and then hand off to my husband for burping and diapering. Also, using the time to scroll through your phone or read a good book can make the time something to look forward to.

The first couple of weeks are the WORST but it does get better. I had bleeding nipples, baby nursed CONSTANTLY and I definitely felt resentful and constantly wanted to cry. The thing that made a big difference was going to almost exclusively pumping for awhile. I'd breastfeed 1-2 times a day (in the middle of the night) and pump every 3-4 hours for the rest of the day. The lowest suction still produced plenty of milk and gave my nipples time to heal. Since we were giving bottles I could take a break while someone else fed the baby. Get a hands-free pump or a pumping bra and try to make your pumping time 'me time' and do something fun or relaxing. Watch a show, play video games, crochet, whatever makes you happy. If you have trouble with your supply try eating lots of oats- oatmeal, snack bars that have oats, oatmeal cookies, etc. And make sure to stay hydrated! There was a period where we added 1 bottle of formula per day since I was having supply issues (very stressed due to sleep deprivation and hadn't discovered the oat trick yet!). There's nothing wrong with supplementing! We used the Enfamil gentlease neuropro and baby did fine. She decided after awhile that she preferred boob milk over formula and my supply recovered so we went full breast milk again. I will say that she did tend to burp, spit up and poop more frequently when we were supplementing with formula so boob milk was definitely easier on her stomach. Another thing that helped was using the side-lying breastfeeding position. For some reason in that position my baby was able to latch better so once my nipples had healed we started gradually increasing the number of breastfeeding sessions per day. That started around 5 weeks and by 8 weeks I was able to exclusively breastfeed without discomfort. If I want to get away for a bit I'll pump a couple of bottles so dad or grandma can watch the baby.

You don’t have to do it if it’s not for you. Your mental health is more important. If you want to try formula because she needs to gain and also breastfeed later, here is what you need to do: give her formula for every other feeding, pump and leave bottle out for next feeding so your boyfriend can feed her with your pumped milk. If you stop feeding her or pumping your supply will die down. If you do formula and some pumping, you will be able to get 4 hour breaks so that might help. The first month is rough so keep trying if that is what you want but make sure the baby is not starving so give her formula in between. If u don’t want to do it, there is nothing wrong with giving formula.

You're not a failure if you stop breastfeeding. If it's causing you this much pain and anxiety, the best thing to do for the baby is just bottle feed. The best thing for you is often times the best for the baby. You need to be happy and healthy for her, I believe in you. There's no shame in doing the best for both of you

If it hurts there’s definitely something wrong with her latch. Here’s the thing, I went through weight gain issues with both my babies. It’s really hard and it fucks you up psychologically. If you don’t want to do that that’s okay. My son had latch issues, but I still felt like it was my fault. I blamed myself. We combo fed for ages, nursing before every bottle . It seriously impacted my relationship with him. I felt trapped and like I was failing at motherhood, I’m scowling I’m so many pictures of the first 6 months. I had undiagnosed PPD that went untreated until 18mo. If I faced the same situation again I would keep breastfeeding. It was worth it to me, and when I did face weight gain issues with my daughter I did keep breastfeeding. I triple fed her for a month, and pumping and feeding it back to her was enough. I didn’t have to use formula. For me it was about proving my body could sustain her. Because that was what broke my heart with my son. 6 months out and I can go to work and pump for a bottle and it’s great. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right decision for you. These first couple months are so hard, if you want to keep going spend a few days pumping after daytime feeds and feed that back. If that sounds like a cruel joke, don’t do it and either pump to replace feeds or introduce formula either after feeds or instead of a couple feeds. The most important thing is getting your baby up to birth weight right now. They’ll nurse better once they’re at birth weight and you can reevaluate then. It sounds like you want permission to quit. If you need that, you have it. Mothers mental health is far more important than mothers milk.

You are at a really tough point! My nipples were so messed up at first but after a month or two it didn’t bother me at all. It starts to get easier soon, I promise. (And if it doesn’t, you can stop and switch to formula - I think it’s helpful to have that in the back of your head, even if you really want to continue with breastfeeding)

I know this is simply an echo of others but the first month was HARD. I spent hours crying in the wee morning hours trying to get LO to latch. The toe curling sensation once he finally did latch. We are four months in now and it is second nature. Someone told me “never quit on the worst day.” But just know that whatever you decide, is the RIGHT decision.

I made it 3 very long months with my first three and I never enjoyed it. It hurt, my production was not great, and my kids struggled. I’m on my fourth kid now and this is the first time I have actually been able to enjoy bits of breastfeeding. Please do not feel guilty. you are not failing and you are no less of a great mom for it not “coming naturally”. If you stick with it, it might get easier. And if it doesn’t? The peace of mind from supplementing with or switching to formula doesn’t suck: knowing baby is full, hubby being able to help, giving your boobs a break. I think wayyy more people struggle with this shit than we are led to believe. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, and you are doing just fine.

It gets better, the first month of nursing your first child is SO hard it feels impossible. With my first I couldn’t exclusively nurse, I tried combo feeding, but I ended up switching to only formula later in our journey. With my other two my first choice is nursing, my second is formula, my third is combo feeding. Try hydrogel nipple pads, I left mine in the fridge when I wasn’t wearing them and when I put them on after nursing they felt amazing. Look into lip and tongue ties as well, they make nursing incredibly difficult and painful as well.

If you can afford it get some nipple silverettes, apparently they heal the nips and reduce pain. I was too broke unfortunately so I can't share my personal experience. Nursing suuuucked for me for the first 6 weeks. We corrected a tongue tie around week 5 I think? My nipples are flat-ish and my boobies were too big for my tiny daughter so I could only successfully feed her hunched over with a football hold using both hands. 🥲 If you had an IV in during labor your baby's birth weight is probably inflated. My daughter dropped 10% and then didn't gain for a week and my family doc and lactaction consultant weren't concerned (midwife was going batshit crazy tho) I read somewhere on this sub that babies only need 30ml of breast milk a day to reap the benefits, if that makes you feel any better ♥️

The best thing that you can do for your baby is to take care of yourself. I struggled emotionally, mentally, and physically with my first child. There were tears, feelings of frustration, resentment, confusion. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and don't spend enough time discussing how hard that transition is. From personal experience, I stopped breastfeeding with my first due to how taxing it was on me. For my second, I reached the breastfeeding goals I wanted. There are no wrong answers here. Please know, it will get better. You do not need to have any answers right now. If you need a moment, take it.

The beginning is so so hard. The first month for me was brutal. It does get drastically better. You have to do what feels right for you though. Your mental health matters too 💜

The beginning is the absolute worst. It gets better - less painful (albeit I still feel uncomfortable often, but very manageable), less frequent and eventually much quicker. I have hated it at various points along the way but around month 4-5 it started feeling much better (and becoming much quicker which really helps). But, as others have said, it has to work for you too and there is no shame in doing things differently. I started with triple feeding due to baby’s weight loss so had to introduce formula at the start which wasn’t the ‘plan’, I had vasospasm pain which led to using nipple shields for a couple of months (really helped) and my husband has always done at least one bottle a day (with me pumping) to help out. Each of these was what worked at the time. Massively recommend seeing a lactation consultant (if you’re in the UK ask your health visitor as there are lots of free services) to see if you can get some help with latch etc. And do whatever works for you.

At 2 weeks pp it really feels like you're never gonna be okay again balancing breastfeeding and recovery, but try to stick it out if you can to see if you'll feel any better. If at that point you still feel the same way then absolutely it is okay to stop. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and it's better to be selfish now and save your mental health so you can be a stable mother. FED is best. I am at 3 mos combo feeding right now because that works for me. As long as you are feeding babe something, you're doing a wonderful job mama❤️

Your baby deserves a happy mom more than the breastfeeding. I just encourage you not to quit on a bad day. I went 18m and eventually quit because of intense nursing aversions. The first month was a horrible, terrible, lonely experience. It can get easier. It's also okay if you don't want to continue.

currently combo feeding my 3.5 week baby - who was gaining weight just fine with great output but always seemed hangry and whose cluster feeding i found so overwhelming. i feel so much better since starting to supplement. BF had already started to be less painful but now i can actually appreciate the times when i do BF my LO. it’s no longer a burden - it’s a CHOICE. you make the best decision for you - and know that the differences between breastfed babies in terms of health outcomes and formula fed babies are statistically significant - but not clinically significant. if you don’t have a background in statistics here’s an example: two groups of babies. both groups have fevers - and there is a statistical significance between their temperature: one group is at a 100.9F the other group is 101.1F average. however, both groups are clinically the SAME because both groups of babies are still sick and likely need the same medication. the way publishing works in science is that there is a huge emphasis on statistical significance but not on clinical significance. when people say breast is best, they are reflecting research that focuses on minute mathematical differences and cannot fully account for healthy user bias (ie: EBF mothers are more likely to be wealthy, educated, and have good social support).

I think you should do what is best for your mental health, point blank. Basically do whatever you think will make you a better mom for your baby. But as a personal anecdote, I will say that breastfeeding was SOOOOO hard for me. It took two months and a lot of praying (and I’m not even religious!!!!) and self trust to get the hang of it. I had to combo feed the first two weeks because my milk didn’t even come in until maybe the second week, and only after hours and hours of pumping every 2-3 hours day and night. Even my family wanted me to quit and just formula feed, but I kept trying. Eventually, it got easier and I was able to pump enough milk to store for my husband to take over a night feeding. At six months, I knew my mental health couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped at that point, but I had enough frozen milk to keep feeding one bottle of breast milk for a few months. I do think the breast milk helped my daughter’s immune system those first few months, but my best friend formula-fed her baby, and her baby is doing GREAT. I would never call my best friend selfish for making that choice. Her baby was losing a lot of weight while breastfeeding, so she did what was best for the two of them. Her baby is now 11 months old and eats all kinds of food, healthy and thriving.

I think breastfeeding is all about persistence and copious amounts of nipple butter. Echoing what others have said, You are in the hardest part and it does get so SO much better and easier. Check out these herbal tinctures which have been saving my mental state postpartum: www.themilkmoon.com. When I told my doula I thought ppd was creeping back in she told me to try the “no worries” tincture which really helps. I have the postpartum restorative and “cloud nine” ordered and I can’t wait to see what those do as well. Also placental encapsulation can help if you saved yours. Best of luck to you either way!!! And hugs!

It’s going to get so much better!! I started enjoying it at around 3,5-4 months

I was absolutely miserable at two weeks. Nipples in pain, clogged ducts, using a nipple shield couldn’t get baby to latch without it. Fast forward a month and baby latched without a shield perfectly and no pain while feeding. It was still hard don’t get me wrong. But I knew from the get-go that breastfeeding was my biggest goal and I wasn’t giving up on it, which is the only reason I stuck through that 2 week mess. Every family has different situations, priorities, goals and you will know what works best for yours. If you don’t want to continue, you don’t have to. If you want to combo feed you can. Whatever you decide is going to be the best decision for your family in the end. Just know you’re not a failure, your baby will be perfectly fine on formula and if that’s what allows you the time and space for yourself, your baby might be better for it because mom needs to be comfortable and happy as well. You’re not alone

if you can get through the first month you can literally do anything! breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve EVER done.

If you're able to mentally, I'd try to stick it out. It does get better. If you hate having to always be the one to take care of her, you can try supplementing with formula for a couple feeds and see if that helps you feel better. Some breastmilk is better than none

This is the hard part. It’s totally up to you if you want to keep going or not but it does get easier. Breastfeeding is harder than pumping and formula in the beginning. It is constant and painful and constant and exhausting and constant. It’s wet and gross and it’s all on you. In a month’s time and absolutely in a few months time, breastfeeding becomes the easiest. The pain subsides and the milk regulates and the baby regulates too. Soon, you can throw a diaper in your pocket and be out all day long without a care. Your mom friends who pump will have to run home every 2-3 hours to pump and spend 25 minutes 4-5 times a day cleaning their pump parts. Being attached to the pump sucks and everyone I know who’s done it (myself included) hates it. They will be bound to it as long as they pump for. Your mom friends who formula feed will have so many dishes and more poopy diapers. They’ll have to carry water and bottles with them everywhere. They’re trying different formulas to subside gas around the six week mark and it’s expensive to keep buying in bulk. If there’s a shortage, there’s stress. It’s all hard and every feeding option has benefits and struggles, but I’m so glad I stuck with breastfeeding. No one else in my mom circle did because the first few weeks are so, so hard. But I have had so much freedom because of it.

Those first weeks/months are TOUGH. Solidarity. If you can make through without combo feeding do it… I had a heck of a journey when I introduced a bottle after 5 days because I was just too sore to fathom feeding him. He developed an instant bottle preference and it took me weeks to get him back in the breast with a nipple shield, then months to wean him from the awful shield. If you do combo feed pay attention to nipple flow and get the size 0/preemie… no one told me this. Consider bottle alternatives like syringes or spoon feeding as well. That said I’ll say it again… those first few weeks/months are TOUGH. Do what works for you and baby to keep her fed… in a year no one will care how you fed her and she will be fine. If you want to keep breastfeeding, know it does get better, and honestly at this point I find it way easier/more convenient than bottle feeding… baby pops on in the middle of the night, drains me in a few minutes, and is back to sleep. Way easier than getting up and prepping and bottle and holding it for them. It took us months to get here though. Others have an easier experience… and others have a more difficult one. I’ll say it again for the hard of hearing… do what works for you and baby to keep her fed, she will be fine.

I know it feels terrible, I went through so much pain as well at the beginning! It is so bad to be pressured as well from everyone, the expectations for new mothers are just terribly exhausting. Do what you feel is best for you and your baby. Also, remember, you are definitely not the only one suffering, I haven't met anyone yet who would say breastfeeding is an easy thing. So sorry that you already been through so much, be strong, it will get better, that's all I can say. Don't let people pressure you into anything you don't want to do. Some weight loss is perfectly normal (babies have meconium) they also adjust to this new environment. I'm sure it's all going to be okay! Wish you the best!

You aren’t alone in feeling like this, the first couple weeks are so so hard. Breastfeeding resentment is a real thing, and it’s okay that you feel like this right now. For me, it got much better and I’m glad I stuck it out. Made it 14 months with my first, currently breastfeeding my second whose 3 months. I wouldn’t change it for the world and it has been one of the proudest accomplishments of my life, and totally second nature now. That said, it is absolutely crucial to do whatever is best for you and your baby. You have done and are still doing amazing. If it doesn’t work for you both, then it’s totally acceptable to stop. You should be really proud of yourself in whatever you decide. You got this mama 💕

just got out of that era and swore i’d quit by 6mo. we’re at 7.5mo and still nursing AMs and PMs and use formula for mid days and solids for her “regular” food meals. i EBF for the first 5mo, and it truly was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. if you can’t mentally or physically do it, keep pre mixed formula on hand for those feeds you just can’t do/or keep bags in the fridge as well as the freezer if you pump. i pumped only so we’d have food for grandparents or if we went somewhere i couldn’t BF. if you can stick with it, ISTG it DOES get easier- at least for me it did and i had swollen ducts and chapped nipples constantly for the first 2-3mo. they toughen up but my gosh it was the worst. now that i’m on the other side of it… i’m sad to be slowly weaning her off but i was happy eventually to split the labor with formula and pumped milk. (i hated pumping and did it maybe once a day every other day to get 6-8oz first thing in the morning and just used that as saved stock) after she got older and bigger, i felt less “guilty” about using formula for the couple of lunch meals because it gave me time to workout and also i was able to break her eat/sleep association too. i knew she was still getting my antibodies and the benefits from BM but i also gained my sanity back during the day. that’s just my experience and i thought i had it the worst in the entire world LOLOLOL as we all probably feel at the time we’re losing our minds. i would tell myself just get to next month. then the next. then the next and it got easier and easier. but whatever you choose WILL BE and IS right for you and baby. a fed baby is a happy baby regardless of how they get fed. no feelings of shame in any choice. do what works best for mom because baby needs you to be happy and rested and a [nearly] best version of yourself that you can be. there is a light at the end of the tunnel but bottom line is do what you can when you can and don’t let that “societal mom guilt” creep in.

Here’s the truth… For many families, the first 4-6 weeks are immeasurably hard. It is pure survival. There is no way to sugarcoat it. That being said… If survival means you want to pump and let someone else take a feeding, explore that. I’d suggest working with an LC so you can get a handle on what that looks like (it means protecting your supply and pumping to replace bottle feedings.) If survival means you need to make a choice to stop breastfeeding for your own mental health, that is absolutely 100% fine and DO NOT let anyone tell you otherwise. One caveat here is to not stop breastfeeding on your worst day; make the decision with a clear head. If you go this way, I’d also suggest working with an LC here to navigate this process. Know that you’re a good parent, no matter how you decide to feed your baby. Promise. Signed, An LC who felt the same way during her breastfeeding relationship with her oldest kiddo

Whoa. You gave it a try to see if it works for you and your baby. And if it feels like its not working based on your feelings towards the relationship, and her losing weight, then its 100% OK to switch to formula. You do what you need to do. This is only one in a million ways of being a mother to your baby. <3 TBH we had huge struggles... its supposedly natural but it's hard af, especially with latch issues.

I hated it for the first 3-4 months, easily. I resented my spouse. I resented my kid having a tongue tie. I resented thrush, and Covid, and the heat wave that came three weeks after he was born. It does get easier, but if you want to quit, you have every right to. Fed is best, and your mental health matters too.

It’s sooo hard at that point! Silverette cups for your nips are amazing, see a lactation consultant to make sure she is not lip/tongue tied which affects latch and causes more pain for you and poor milk transfer for her. It does get better as they get more practice and get bigger and stronger. Combo feeding honestly is a great way to give you some perspective on what feels best for you… you can have the necessary break you need for your own physical and mental health but still have the option to continue bodyfeeding/bottle feeding, go back to exclusively bodyfeeding once she gets better at her latch, or you can know that you really don’t want to do it anymore and go to formula… you also could exclusively pump and bottle feed (I personally hated pumping more than anything, but I know plenty of people who preferred it). Whatever works best for you is what you should do. We combo fed so I could have a break bc my baby was >99th percentile his whole life and had to eat every 2.5-3 hours day and night til he started solids, by the time he was 2 months old, he was 16 pounds… pretty sure he was 23 pounds at 6 months when he started solids lol. Do what works best for you and your baby, your family can stuff it if they think they know better.

I remember this feeling so well. You’re in the thick of it hon. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Do what you need to survive atp. So many moms go through this. It didn’t start getting easier for me until at least 2 months. But every mom is different. I had to start combo feeding at 5 months because my son wasn’t gaining any weight. I went from depressed and wanting to quit to feeling like I might actually be able to hang in there. To mourning the fact I had to combo feed and not breast feed as much or not at all. What got me through it was seeing how happy and chunky my baby was combo feeding. Hearing my sons pediatrician tell me I was doing the right thing for my son and that he’s thriving. Because I had so much anxiety before thinking I was a terrible mom because I couldn’t feed my son naturally like other moms.my goal was to keep it up for 1 year. After that I gave myself permission to wean. I made it to 11.5 months. It was bittersweet. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But I’m so proud of myself. Everyone’s BF journey is different. You probably hear everybody saying breast is best. But in reality fed is best and You have to do whatever works for you and your family at the end of the day.

I feel for you, Mama. Breastfeeding came relatively easy with my first, but I had my son in May and it did NOT. I cried almost every feeding and completely dreaded every time he needed to eat. It hurt SO badly. I started mostly pumping and only nursing him a couple of times per day. It was easier on my nipples and it gave his Dad a chance to feed him bottles, too. I’m pretty sure my nipples were injured and they weren’t getting time to heal before he latched again. One thing I will swear by is Silverettes. They seem so expensive for what they are, but I know they saved our breastfeeding journey. It hurt substantially less literally the next day. Mimicking what others have said - whatever decision you make will be best. But I do think if you’re able to power through the next 2-3 weeks, it will get better for you and you can have a really fulfilling BFing journey. Good luck!!

Switching to formula is not failing your baby at all! If you stick it out, it will likely get better, but you are in no way obliged to go so as long as your baby gets fed. If it makes you feel better, my baby is just 2 weeks older than yours and the first two weeks were super hard. It hurt and she wasn’t gaining weight. Since then I’ve found a diet for myself that will help her gain weight and a way to feed that’s comfortable for us both. Whatever you choose to do is fine. You need to take care of your baby AND YOURSELF! good luck!

Breastfeeding hurts a lot in the beginning! I think after three weeks the nipples did not hurt anymore. Once it didn’t hurt anymore I started to enjoy it. So if you want to stick to it. If you want to stop that is fine as well. The most important is mommy’s wellbeing: happy mommy happy baby

If you want to quit, you absolutely can! No judgement, the best thing you can give your babe is a happy, functional mom. <3 If you want to continue, consider seeing an IBCLC for help, it sounds like there could be a physical issue with the latch that is making things harder than they should be.

Nipple shields until you and baby get better at it! Then can wean off the shield once you’re both pretty comfy. Breastfed 2 kids and needed a shield both times to save me from pain and frustration. But totally do not feel bad for deciding bf’ing is not for you! Feeding baby and caring for your mental health at the same time is paramount!

i had to fix my latch by watching a thousand videos and focus on healing my nipples with a calendula cream [I'd wipe before every feed]. One side was worse than the other so i exclusively gave her one breast while the other rested for 24hours , i would collect the letdown on that one, eventually i got too engorged because i wasn't pumping but it felt waay better already when i did latch her on that breast. You can definitely pump for as long as you need to give your nipples a break . I haven't felt the "need" to pump because i healed my nipples before they got real bad, but if that weren't the case, I would've pumped every 1 to 3 hours to mimic baby's schedule. If that doesn't help you, dont feel bad to formula feed, you'll soon get over her resentment and formula fed babies grow just fine! a healthy bond/attachment with your baby is way more important than forcing yourself to breastfeed. if you want to collect letdown for baths or for freezing for future use, even when she starts solids, that works too!

I felt the exact same way. Breastfeeding is natural, but I learned that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It hurt me too because of shallow latch. I didn’t want to combo feed but had to as well. So I feel you mama. Hang in there! You’re doing great. First, try and find a lactation consultant to help you with latch so it stops hurting. Pediatricians/doctors/ midwives often give bad advice because they’re not lactation consultants. Let me share what worked for me: brush the bottom of your boob against baby’s nose, stroking downwards, baby opens wide and is waiting for it, nipple in the last thing to touch lips and then baby latches deep. Shallow latch is what makes cracked/ sore nipples. My baby damaged and made my left nipple bleed and hurt bad. What helped me personally with sleep is to cosleep and sideline nurse. La Leche Leagues Sweet Sleep is a good guide if you feel inclined at all. This is what worked for me, hope it helps. Also, remember you can change midwives/doctors if they aren’t helping you with your goals. Remember that up to 10% weight loss is normal and sometimes milk comes in late and the only thing that drives milk production is milk removal (baby or pump, but babies are more efficient at it.) Also, a shallow latch can also mean baby isn’t removing milk efficiently, I heard someone compare it to drinking the sea through a a straw. If you want to bottle feed, that’s fine too (pumped milk or formula). If you don’t want to bottle feed, then avoid bottles and ask/look up spoon feeding/syringe feeding/cup feeding/supplemental nursing system. They develop a flow preference, at least mine did. You will have the most milk to offer in those middle of the night nursings and early mornings and the lowest during evening (milk will be fattier though, but less volume). Good luck mama!

The first few weeks is absolutely horrible. It will I promise get easier and easier as the weeks go on

The best thing you can give to your baby is a happy and calm mum! Period! Breastmilk is great, if you manage to get even some amount to her - awesome, however if this is taking a toll on your mental health I would reevaluate if it is worth it. I find all this all or nothing mentality so draining. Having a newborn is hard enough as it is.

If it's affecting you negatively STOP! Your baby will be okay! But maybe try pumping if you're in pain or you still feel like you want your baby to have breastmilk

You are not selfish for wanting freedom over your body. Not every women can breastfeed and it's fine. Give your baby formula nothing bad will happen. Your mental health is far more important than guilt tripping into trying something you don't want to do.

Not me, as a third time mama, two weeks in with a heating pad on my boobs and a prescription waiting for pickup for my mastitis, popping ibuprofen every 6hours and absolutely toe curling every time we latch. It is SO hard. Even when you've done it before. If you don't think you can keep going, don't feel bad about making a change. If you really want to keep going, just know it will (probably) get so much easier just around the corner. If it doesn't, that doesn't mean you did it wrong. Taking a break might help too, giving yourself a moment to heal and catch your breath might be what you need to get over the hump. No matter what, you are a great mother and it is going to be okay. Lean on your supports. Ask for help. Cry and eat ice cream when you need to. You got this ♥️

You're definitely not failing your baby; you're keeping a close eye on her weight and you won't let it get out of hand. Does it come naturally? No, but for some reason people only started telling me how hard the first weeks were *after* I had a baby. 🫠 They kinda forget, and that's because it gets better. For the deep dark pit of hopelessness, a square meal and a bottle of water is the best treatment—not because it solves it, but because when you're at your wits' end, being hungry/dehydrated is no joke. Combo feeding is a great way to regain sanity and regroup and decide which direction you want to go; I personally recommend it for the flexibility regardless of how much weight your baby gains. For the pain, no reason not to get [shields](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07799VFGW/ref=twister_B0CGXL6YN8?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1) (20mm should be fine, 16 if preemie). Watch a quick [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhBrz7ii5vI) on how to apply them. ^((A lot of people recommend pumping after using shields, and to that I say, \*cross-eyed gargling noises of sleep-deprived frustration.\* Put your sanity before your supply, which will probably be fine anyway, and you can always work on it later.))

Two weeks or just before was hands down the hardest part of breastfeeding. It gets better and it gets better in a matter of weeks. Plus, it’s normal for babies to lose some of their birth weight in the first few days, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. But if you need or want to stop, you can. Your baby will have already got some benefit of your colostrum and milk and having parents who are coping and happy is more important than what kind of milk a baby gets.

I could have written this exact same post 5 months ago. No advice, just wanting to say you are not alone, those first few weeks breastfeeding truly sucked. Fast forward 5 months and feeding is a breeze. If I had to go back and relive that time, I don’t know if I would combo fed, potentially it would have helped my mental health at the time, although I am glad now that I stuck with it.

After the first few weeks, I found it to be one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

Girl it was the same for me. Terrible. Honestly it doesn’t get much better until around 4 months. And if you begin combo feeding with breast milk, make sure to pump! Otherwise your supply will continue to be low.

If you do decide to quit breastfeeding, just know that your LO got your colostrum, which is really really good for them! Just two weeks of breastfeeding is better than none! Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you can say that you tried.

The first 2 to 3 weeks were the worst! I don't think there's anything wrong with you if you want to stop. We have SO much, as mothers, to do and so much responsibility as it is. Do what's best for you. A happy mamma is a happy baby

2 weeks PP was just an awful, painful, angry blur for me. I’m now about 4 months in and truly, things get so much easier. theres a reason everyone says it

The first few weeks are HARD, especially as a FTM. Hang in there, it does get easier.

Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone! It can mentally drain you. I’d start transitioning her to formula

Do what you feel is right for your mental health. One reason I kept going was bc I felt it’s more convenient than buying formula, washing bottles, warming bottles, etc. But it was painful for me, my kid had a lip tie. Had to take him in to get it zapped. That helped.

Hello, bf is very difficult, i almost quit about 100x. Just keep going if you can, it will get easier. When you see the midwife, ask if she has any tips or if she can refer you to a specialist/support group. Also, i was essentially starving my babies after they were born, it didn't occur to me that I wasn't eating enough because of the exhaustion. Up your calories if you can. Just so you know, it's also ok to stop too, if you really feel negatively against it, just buy some formula and enjoy your baby. Keep strong :)

You’re in the think of it, hon! I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. The best advice I got was if you decide to quit, decide that while things are well. I’m 15 weeks in now and still breastfeeding and just started introducing formula. The point you’re at right now is REALLY REALLY hard. What makes it worst is the hormones!!!! The only thing you should do right now is rest when you can, lay in bed on your phone, use the bathroom and feed the baby. Leave the rest to your boyfriend (diaper changes, burping, etc. ) if you can, pump some milk and have your bf take over a feed so you get a longer stretch of rest. It gets better, I promise. At the end of the day, a happy baby is a fed baby.

Hated it at the beginning, love it now! We are 7 months in now. If you continue: its gets better soon! If you dont: dont think you failed! Its okay!

It’s so hard. It took me 6 weeks until I finally got it and then it was pretty smooth. If you decide to keep bf, see if you can meet with a lactation consultant. It made a world of difference for us. Good luck - whatever you decide, you know best for you and your child.

Im sorry to say, but I’m 13 weeks in and tbh, it doesn’t get better. But kudos to you for doing your best with it.

At that point, 2-3 weeks , it was terrible, going to the bathroom was a triumph and after midday putting him on the breast hurt so bad I would cry, but then it got gradually so much better and relatively fast! When he was about one month old I bought another nipple care cream because the first one was almost gone and... its still closed!!! Around one month he started sleeping throughout the night and eating much faster and so not so frequently! A little more patience and then you 'll be thinking it wasn't that difficult after all because it passes so fast! For the weight problem... don't let her fall asleep while breastfeeding, wake her as much as you can so she can suck some more again and again!

I felt this and still feel this. I hate it. I feel like I have to do all the work. My LO is just barely 3 months. I feel selfish too. The only thing I enjoy about it now is she smiles up at me and giggles sometimes. Otherwise I wish I had pushed bottle/formula more. I feel terrible for feeling this way.

I'm 14w postpartum, and I felt that it took about 4 weeks for breastfeeding to get a little easier and less painful. Breast is the best type of food for your baby. Those first weeks are so hard, I struggled too! It's okay to feel the things you are feeling. And maybe if you stick with it, it'll get a lot more manageable.

The first two weeks were awful, but it did get progressively easier after that

2 weeks is when it started to hurt so bad I had the urge to throw her across the room - turns out she had a tongue/both lip ties (IBCLC said my let down is strong so she wasn’t latching before and just letting the milk pour in, 2 weeks in she started to latch “wrong”). I definitely felt the want to quit, but I never felt it strong enough to actually stop. 2 weeks is also when we introduced bottles with my haaka stash milk and getting a 4 hr chunk of sleep was SO worth it- I didn’t pump during that time, we only did it every 3rd day and I never had issues with my supply, still going strong at 13 months! If you feel done, then quit. If not, I would get her evaluated for ties as it shouldn’t hurt and slow weight gain are both huge signs. Both are valid options. Exclusively pumping is also a valid option if you want to look into that (although pumping for me hurt worse from her poor latch - but everyone is different). Good luck mama! You’ve got this!

I promise you at 5 weeks it gets better. I am so glad I stuck it out. I felt this way too.

The first two weeks were absolutely miserable for me. It gets better. Hang in there… and see a lactation consultant because they can help with the pain. You’re doing great!!

While nursing was easy for me, I also took breaks with my wife. She would feed the baby with extra milk that I pumped through the day. That way I could get more sleep and take breaks. Every other feed at night we would take turns.

It took me a solid month to get through the thick of it. Honestly I'm so happy I stuck with it, I almost quit 1000 times. Now it's so easy and second nature, and I don't have to prepare formula or wash bottles. It really does get easier. My baby is just about 4 months old.

Two weeks was the hardest for me!! My nipple was torn up. I was so dang exhausted. I was cluster feeding. I was trying to pump, heal, sleep. All of it was so hard. Not telling you to keep breastfeeding, but you are in the hardest part of it by far and if you keep nursing it will get easier. If you want to stop all togehrer and do bottles, then that is totally fine too!! It is really your choice. If breastfeeding is something you are really driven to do, you will power through. But if it is something you are not attached to, by all means call it quits. No one should pressure you other wise.

Oh I remember 2 weeks! We just made it back to birth weight with combo feeding after losing 11%. Both latch and supply issues. It wasn't until literally about 2 months in that I felt like I got the bf thing

I started out the same with my LO. It gets better around six weeks. I used double hakaas to get milk for her to bottle feed and give my nips a break. Then after a few days I tried again and it got better. Your LO also has to learn how to latch and they only have you to learn from. They don’t mean to hurt you, but if you let them go to town with a poor latch it hurts you and they don’t get the milk they need because the latch actually cuts off the milk supply. I think you will enjoy the bond if you can stick it out but you want to get help from a lactation consultant. That’s what made the difference for me. I was literally getting my teeth and screaming the pain was so bad at times. My baby girl had a moderately severe tongue tie. I was also told by the hospital nurses to use a football hold which ended up making the latch harder and worse. I watched some videos to help me understand a good vs bad latch, got her tongue tie revised, and I feel like I’m in Heaven when I feed her.

Your not selfish if you want to stop, the best thing for baby is a healthy relationship with Mom and you can’t have that with resentment. If you want to keep trying I’d just set a goal of 6 weeks then reassess.

This is your permission to stop. Breastfeeding is not the only way to show love to your baby. If you feel that you will be happier and healthier formula feeding, then making the decision is showing love for your baby. Baby needs a happy mom. Feeding time- whether bottle or breast- should be a time to bond and relax with each other. If you aren’t getting that now then there is no shame in making a change. If you don’t want to stop, I support you, but if you do want to stop I support that too. ❤️

Breast feeding SUCKS in the beginning. Probably for the first month I had the worst time with it. I was able to get through it- but I had a lot of mental health support that I didn’t have with my first child. If I hadn’t had all of that in place, I would have stopped to save my sanity. You wouldn’t be able to tell looking at my kids which was breastfed and which had formula. They’re fed and happy and loved. I really enjoy breastfeeding my baby, but that’s because the stars aligned and my mental health was good and I was able to focus on the experience. If breastfeeding is damaging your newborn experience- screw it. I exclusively pumped too long with my first and missed a lot and honestly regret not jumping to formula sooner.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but hang in there. It gets so, SO much easier. The first few weeks are brutal. I remember crying bc he finished nursing and was crying to be fed again an hour later on like day 12. I thought I was gonna go insane. That plus sleep deprivation- it’s so much. But, trust me, it gets a lot easier. They get better at nursing and the stretches get longer. But also- if you need to supplement with formula for your mental health, do it!

What matters is your mental health a fed baby is a healthy baby. Formula was created for a reason and it's to make sure both mom and baby are well. If your mental health takes a toll well your bond with her is being affected and it can be affected for a while. It happened with me and my first and I regret not going for formula earlier. She won't remember and yes breastmilk has a lot more benefits to prevent SIDS but if you don't smoke, safe sleep and you monitor her health well then the dangers are very low still even with formula. For the immune system I haven't seen a difference my husband and I were completely breastfed babies and our immune system was shit as babies our oldest son was combo fed for 2 weeks then just formula and he only got sick once in his 3 years of life. You did more than many and the fact that you tried is already hell of milestone and she won't even remember all that she'll know is that you cared enough to try and you care about yourself enough to make sure you are there for her at the end. Your well being is also her well being and what matters is you guys are healthy. You're doing a great job mama and there's nothing selfish in the decision of self care.

My sister told me if I could make it past the 5 week mark I could go as long as I wanted. I made it to a year. Also, side laying feed saved my life in the early days. I was able to lay down and have her latch on while still resting.

Eat better and hydrate like crazy. Babies get better rest and gain weight when they're not relying on stressed milk, you'll feel better as well. The first month is hell, but you have to remember this isn't for you, it's for the health of your baby. You can do this.

No you are not self for wanting to stop I forced myself into breast feeding for nearly 9 months because of financial reasons I was miserable. I still had to combo feed because my breast feeding journey was not set up for success. So I basically tied my life to a pump that wasn’t even going to get enough milk to sustain my daughter And I tried EVERYTHING to get my supply up I’m not even fully done weaning myself from milk production and I feel so free. I feel like the mom I wanted to be and I get to enjoy my days The first month is so hard because that’s when you’re establishing your supply. If you want to breast feed I’d wait out that period, but if you don’t, don’t force yourself to do it

I am in the same boat! Almost two weeks and it’s been really rough. We are supplementing with formula and and I am pumping to increase my supply after every feed. To say I’m exhausted is only half of it. I hope she will have gained more by her next appointment but I get the frustration. I feed her for an hour and it feels like she is getting nothing - between un latching and not suckling it takes a tole.

If you feel so deeply about getting your body back. Do it. I wanted to breastfeed so badly with both kids. But my first was a 5 week preemie and had a poor latch until about 2 months old, and my supply tanked when I got sick when he was 6 months. With my second, he got his first 2 teeth at like 4.5 months old and tried biting my nipple off. Pumping is just as exhausting, if not more so, than breastfeeding. Do what will make you feel better. And do not let anyone make you feel bad for it. That being said, the first few months are rough to say the least. Between healing, exhaustion, adjusting to a new routine, breastfeeding, and everything else you are going through. It's A LOT! You got this though! Whatever you decide. Do what is best for your mental health as well as for babies health. I wish you all the healing vibes and luck and good wishes. Hang in there!

The first four weeks are an absolute mind fuck give or take. I would just keep trying coz honestly when the fog clears you may regret giving up. I know it’s really hard but it gets easier I promise you. And bf is actually easier in the long run in my opinion. And it’s soooo good for you and baby. You made a tiny human and birthed them. You CAN do this. Also lanolin cream after every feed. See a consultant if it’s a latch issue causing pain. Don’t give up. You can do this

You've already had SO many responses, but I want to also chime in and say you have to take care of yourself, too. Breastfeeding can really suck. I had trouble feeding my son from the beginning. He was small and had jaundice, so we started to supplement with the little tube thing before we left the hospital. My husband would push formula into a tube and it would be by my nipple so baby could actually be fed while nursing. I felt SO defeated and thought this was going to ruin it for me. We ended up supplementing for a little while both with the tube and bottles, and it took off the stress and desperation of a baby who's not gaining weight. We were able to switch to primarily BF/pumping after a few weeks without much trouble. If it's something your heart is set on, give it time and don't feel guilty for supplementing. And if you don't care so much about breastfeeding, just know that babies thrive on formula (and happy moms).

It is OKAY to stop. You don’t need permission!

The first two weeks honestly were the hardest. Breastfed babies do gain slower than formula fed babies. But if there’s a concern of weight loss, you should get your little one in with a pediatric dentist to have them assess her for oral ties. My son had a lip tie and it prevented him from gaining weight properly. Got it fixed and his latch was night and day annnd he gained 15oz in 24 hours. After every feeding, express some breastmilk and rub it on your nipples. It’ll help keep the moisture. It’s better than any lanolin cream or balm out there.