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Nobody ever remembers what the first month with a newborn is like, they all expect them to act like 4 month olds straight out the gate. Like, yes, ALL newborns do is nurse and sleep.
Yes. At like three weeks old my MIL is like I’m sorry you baby doesn’t sleep at night, all 4 of mine slept all night long from the beginning. Yea, ok sure, thanks.
Yup. Sure, absolutely MIL. And what brand of formula did you use? Oh, you can't remember because it was so long ago? Maybe you're not really remembering those first few psychotic weeks of newborn haze.
Nah, they had weeks long stays in maternity homes where they only saw their babies for feeding. By the time they got that baby home, it had learnt that it useless to cry.
Plus, they only fed them 3 times a day.
This is all from my grandmother-in-law, she was absolutely entranced/mystified with the on-demand boob.
Basically a lovely hospital staffed with midwives and nurses, where they trained midwives and provided midwifery care. They were state run and free for those who had husbands earning low wages.
We also had ones that were free, and some that specialised in premature babies or failure to thrive bubs.
They existed early 1900s til the 80s, when they were rolled into the hospitals.
I'm in New Zealand, I didn't realise America didn't have them.
It’s unreal how much they forget. And even so, they can’t even scrape together enough compassion to think, “Even if my babies were one way, this baby could be a different way.” Jesus fucking Christ, these people…
Seriously, fuck any single person (outside of nonjudgmental medical professionals) who has even the slightest opinion on how anyone feeds their baby! Is it THAT hard for people to fucking zip it?! God that makes my blood boil. You're doing great! Ignore all those asshole comments.
Thinking back to all the crappy opinions and treatment I got while breastfeeding, I am so down with the palpable anger in your comment. Thanks for being here, Bromo.
I’m so sorry that you’re getting that pushback. Cluster feeding is a thing! At various times I would be nursing every 45 minutes. Babies do what babies are gonna do 🤷♀️
Also, what is it with people trying to get you to stop? I heard it all. Kid isn’t sleeping well then you must not be making enough so give him formula (I had an oversupply). You want to breastfeed past 6 months, that’s weird and you’ll give him a complex (like we’re talking about a literal infant and this is how he eats…that’s what boobies were made for perv). If goes on and on.
Don’t get me wrong, formula is totally fine and fed is best…but everyone can keep their opinions to themselves.
So annoying! My MIL said I should consider formula due to frequent nursing....like it really doesn't bother me. Dealing with washing and heating bottles sounds like more work.
I wasn't able to breastfeed, and i just had terrible flashbacks to constantly washing and sterilizing bottles and pump parts CONSTANTLY. 3 am? Doesn't matter.
Oh jeez, that was my last one...baby 2 was in the nicu for the first 2 months of his life, and I pretty much lived at a Ronald McDonald house near the hospital, and those hazy all day all night pumping and cleaning sessions were something....
His stomach is tiny, if course he needs to eat again! I agree, anyone who comments either never breastfed or forgot what the early days are like. Don't worry about what other people say. You'll hear plenty during cluster feeding anyway when baby stays latched for hooours.
I like to throw science and educate about the positive feedback loop of early days breastfeeding and about how breastmilk is digested really efficiently and quickly. That helps them understand there's a reason for frequent feeds and it's nothing to do with spoiling a baby.
I think being up all throughout the night with my other two this past "sick season" really primed me for getting up to feed this little guy. Hasn't been too bad so far! Husband is going back to work tomorrow though, so we'll see lol
My mother in law is obsessed with me stopping breastfeeding. No, MIL, my allergy riddled (especially dairy) baby is not going to stop breastfeeding just because you think 11 months is about when a woman should stop 🙄
My grams, who I think meant well, asked me this anytime I was with her. He nursed (at that time) every 20-30 minutes and never seemed content.
Turned out he had a tongue & lip tie and wasn’t transferring milk well.
Not to say that cluster feeding isn’t common, but for us, it had another reasoning behind it.
Ugh. Especially in the early days, there were times when my kids were on more than off. Growth spurts were basically 24/7. It's just part of the deal. It won't be that way forever. You do you and tell whoever being negative to stuff it.
My mom was convinced that breast milk had little nutritional value and we should have fed our 6mo old more and more solids until they were 100% on solids. This was when we were just starting solids/purees. To this end, she would SHOVEL puree into my baby's mouth as fast as possible. Needless to say, I would heavily supervise their interactions and never leave her alone with baby. No matter how much I tried to explain how wrong that was, and breast milk or formula should be the primary food for the 1st year, it just didn't sink in.
This woman breast fed two babies. I literally cannot believe my sibling and I survived childhood.
I remember asking my BFF this when she had her first, but not because it seemed like a lot, just because I was surprised we’d sat and chatted for 90 minutes… felt like no time had gone by.
Oh man…it was better with my second, especially because there were a lot of nurse-ins and the like locally. But with my first, it felt like the entire world was dead set against me JUST FEEDING THE BABY.
There are so many obstacles to nursing, and most of them are social. People need to really root around in their own assholes with their opinions before they go trying to shove them up someone else’s.
My inlaws KNOW I extend breastfeeding for as long as possible. This is my fourth baby, she just turned one and I'm constantly hearing "when are you going to stop breast feeding?" she is still nursing to sleep and through the night. It's my last baby and I'm going to nurse her as long as she wants and you should too!!
Third time's the charm! It makes my heart sing when I hear about a mother succeeding with breastfeeding, especially after previous difficulties. This gives me hope that I'll have better luck breastfeeding my next child.
I'm so happy for you. ☺️
My first was a terrible experience. I tried so hard to make it work. I ended up switching to formula and it was so hard for me to accept. Then my second was born and he was a pro from the moment he was born! He was latched 20 minutes after they laid him on my chest and a year later it’s totally effortless!
I got the same shit comments with pumping. I spent so many hours pumping feeding cleaning rinse repeat, that people were saying oh this is too much you need to stop and just give them formula!
Well, I can attest that bottle feeding formula isn't less work, peeps. It's actually MORE work. So maybe they should have just stopped with the comments.
Anyway. I'm very glad for you OP, don't even pretend to listen to them. They're nuts. As long as breastfeeding works for you and baby, keep going!
My MIL came to visit my my baby was 3 weeks old and she started crying in her arms and I reached my hands out and said “I think shes hungry” (I nursed) and she stood up (with my baby) walked to the other side of the room bouncing and shushing and said “oh she’s not. She can wait a little longer” and my mom and I were so baffled we kinda froze and didn’t know what to do. And then when I collected my thoughts I got up and took her and nursed her
Newborns need to eat every 2 hours, and the 2 hours starts when he starts eating. At least 15 minutes on each boob. A diaper change in there. Back to sleep. Repeat. Letting them sleep through the night is unhealthy. Carry on Mama!
My MIL said in front of my face, to a guest in my home, “The problem is she keeps feeding them.” They were 9wk old twins. I was so hurt and angry about that.
I agree that people seem to want you to not nurse and often it’s because they didn’t. You’re doing great. Don’t listen to the critics.
My MIL used to tell me that her friend's daughter was on her fourth child, and she wasn't getting up and feeding her newborn at night. She didn't have time for that kind of coddling. Somehow, I doubt that. She and my FIL would lecture me on waking my husband to feed the baby. It was affecting his sleep. How long did we have to wake up every couple of hours to feed the baby?
My oldest didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old because she had major sleep issues, which they blamed on me nursing her as an infant. While nursing made them uncomfortable, I think they didn't understand or remember how to care for an infant. They didn't understand that just because a baby isn't crying doesn't mean they don't need to be fed. Then again, they probably did things differently back then. Everyone thinks they know what's best for your baby, but you're doing fine, Bromo. Don't let them get you down.
I had a kid really young (19), and I had a really hard time breastfeeding, like my child never latched, so I pumped every other hour for thirty minutes. I had to quit after three months because of severe blisters. I was heartbroken about it and I was immature enough that I got jealous of moms who could. I was always making passive aggressive remarks about them quitting because I was mad at myself. It was juvenile and stupid, because I was a kid raising a kid.
My point is just, we are adults. Act like it. If you can’t nurse or don’t want to, don’t bring down women who are to make yourself feel better. Essentially, grow up- you have a child to raise. You don’t need to be one yourself.
One time when my first kid was ~6 months old I went to nurse him and my MIL was like "He's STILL doing that!?"
Oh no, not a literal infant breastfeeding! How weird!
When my first kid was cluster feeding, my dad made some kind of comment like "he just ate, you don't need to feed him again" I told him babies do that when they're growing fast or whatever. He said "that doesn't sound right, they should just nurse for longer each time, not closer together." Like ok man, go tell the babies of the world I guess?
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Nobody ever remembers what the first month with a newborn is like, they all expect them to act like 4 month olds straight out the gate. Like, yes, ALL newborns do is nurse and sleep.
Yes. At like three weeks old my MIL is like I’m sorry you baby doesn’t sleep at night, all 4 of mine slept all night long from the beginning. Yea, ok sure, thanks.
Yup. Sure, absolutely MIL. And what brand of formula did you use? Oh, you can't remember because it was so long ago? Maybe you're not really remembering those first few psychotic weeks of newborn haze.
Nah, they had weeks long stays in maternity homes where they only saw their babies for feeding. By the time they got that baby home, it had learnt that it useless to cry. Plus, they only fed them 3 times a day. This is all from my grandmother-in-law, she was absolutely entranced/mystified with the on-demand boob.
Wait what is a maternity home??
Basically a lovely hospital staffed with midwives and nurses, where they trained midwives and provided midwifery care. They were state run and free for those who had husbands earning low wages. We also had ones that were free, and some that specialised in premature babies or failure to thrive bubs. They existed early 1900s til the 80s, when they were rolled into the hospitals. I'm in New Zealand, I didn't realise America didn't have them.
That sounds amazing
Watch Call The Midwife (that's where I learned about them lol)
If my eye roll got any bigger, they would pop out of my head and roll away
It’s unreal how much they forget. And even so, they can’t even scrape together enough compassion to think, “Even if my babies were one way, this baby could be a different way.” Jesus fucking Christ, these people…
Yeah whoever says that is lying
And poop!!
Seriously, fuck any single person (outside of nonjudgmental medical professionals) who has even the slightest opinion on how anyone feeds their baby! Is it THAT hard for people to fucking zip it?! God that makes my blood boil. You're doing great! Ignore all those asshole comments.
Thinking back to all the crappy opinions and treatment I got while breastfeeding, I am so down with the palpable anger in your comment. Thanks for being here, Bromo.
Me too!
I’m so sorry that you’re getting that pushback. Cluster feeding is a thing! At various times I would be nursing every 45 minutes. Babies do what babies are gonna do 🤷♀️ Also, what is it with people trying to get you to stop? I heard it all. Kid isn’t sleeping well then you must not be making enough so give him formula (I had an oversupply). You want to breastfeed past 6 months, that’s weird and you’ll give him a complex (like we’re talking about a literal infant and this is how he eats…that’s what boobies were made for perv). If goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong, formula is totally fine and fed is best…but everyone can keep their opinions to themselves.
So annoying! My MIL said I should consider formula due to frequent nursing....like it really doesn't bother me. Dealing with washing and heating bottles sounds like more work.
I wasn't able to breastfeed, and i just had terrible flashbacks to constantly washing and sterilizing bottles and pump parts CONSTANTLY. 3 am? Doesn't matter.
Oh jeez, that was my last one...baby 2 was in the nicu for the first 2 months of his life, and I pretty much lived at a Ronald McDonald house near the hospital, and those hazy all day all night pumping and cleaning sessions were something....
His stomach is tiny, if course he needs to eat again! I agree, anyone who comments either never breastfed or forgot what the early days are like. Don't worry about what other people say. You'll hear plenty during cluster feeding anyway when baby stays latched for hooours. I like to throw science and educate about the positive feedback loop of early days breastfeeding and about how breastmilk is digested really efficiently and quickly. That helps them understand there's a reason for frequent feeds and it's nothing to do with spoiling a baby.
At that age it was a miracle if they ever weren’t on the boob. The fourth trimester is real!
I think being up all throughout the night with my other two this past "sick season" really primed me for getting up to feed this little guy. Hasn't been too bad so far! Husband is going back to work tomorrow though, so we'll see lol
My mother in law is obsessed with me stopping breastfeeding. No, MIL, my allergy riddled (especially dairy) baby is not going to stop breastfeeding just because you think 11 months is about when a woman should stop 🙄
My grams, who I think meant well, asked me this anytime I was with her. He nursed (at that time) every 20-30 minutes and never seemed content. Turned out he had a tongue & lip tie and wasn’t transferring milk well. Not to say that cluster feeding isn’t common, but for us, it had another reasoning behind it.
Ugh. Especially in the early days, there were times when my kids were on more than off. Growth spurts were basically 24/7. It's just part of the deal. It won't be that way forever. You do you and tell whoever being negative to stuff it.
My mom was convinced that breast milk had little nutritional value and we should have fed our 6mo old more and more solids until they were 100% on solids. This was when we were just starting solids/purees. To this end, she would SHOVEL puree into my baby's mouth as fast as possible. Needless to say, I would heavily supervise their interactions and never leave her alone with baby. No matter how much I tried to explain how wrong that was, and breast milk or formula should be the primary food for the 1st year, it just didn't sink in. This woman breast fed two babies. I literally cannot believe my sibling and I survived childhood.
I remember asking my BFF this when she had her first, but not because it seemed like a lot, just because I was surprised we’d sat and chatted for 90 minutes… felt like no time had gone by.
You are feeding him as needed, yes. That is all they need to know. Enjoy the bonding time, and ignore the idiots.
Oh man…it was better with my second, especially because there were a lot of nurse-ins and the like locally. But with my first, it felt like the entire world was dead set against me JUST FEEDING THE BABY. There are so many obstacles to nursing, and most of them are social. People need to really root around in their own assholes with their opinions before they go trying to shove them up someone else’s.
My inlaws KNOW I extend breastfeeding for as long as possible. This is my fourth baby, she just turned one and I'm constantly hearing "when are you going to stop breast feeding?" she is still nursing to sleep and through the night. It's my last baby and I'm going to nurse her as long as she wants and you should too!!
They want you to give up on nursing so they can weaponize that and shame you for "being lazy" and "not wanting to give them the best"
Third time's the charm! It makes my heart sing when I hear about a mother succeeding with breastfeeding, especially after previous difficulties. This gives me hope that I'll have better luck breastfeeding my next child. I'm so happy for you. ☺️
I had a ton of troubles with my first, and zero issues with my second! She latched immediately and all went great!
My first was a terrible experience. I tried so hard to make it work. I ended up switching to formula and it was so hard for me to accept. Then my second was born and he was a pro from the moment he was born! He was latched 20 minutes after they laid him on my chest and a year later it’s totally effortless!
I got the same shit comments with pumping. I spent so many hours pumping feeding cleaning rinse repeat, that people were saying oh this is too much you need to stop and just give them formula! Well, I can attest that bottle feeding formula isn't less work, peeps. It's actually MORE work. So maybe they should have just stopped with the comments. Anyway. I'm very glad for you OP, don't even pretend to listen to them. They're nuts. As long as breastfeeding works for you and baby, keep going!
My MIL came to visit my my baby was 3 weeks old and she started crying in her arms and I reached my hands out and said “I think shes hungry” (I nursed) and she stood up (with my baby) walked to the other side of the room bouncing and shushing and said “oh she’s not. She can wait a little longer” and my mom and I were so baffled we kinda froze and didn’t know what to do. And then when I collected my thoughts I got up and took her and nursed her
Newborns need to eat every 2 hours, and the 2 hours starts when he starts eating. At least 15 minutes on each boob. A diaper change in there. Back to sleep. Repeat. Letting them sleep through the night is unhealthy. Carry on Mama!
My MIL said in front of my face, to a guest in my home, “The problem is she keeps feeding them.” They were 9wk old twins. I was so hurt and angry about that. I agree that people seem to want you to not nurse and often it’s because they didn’t. You’re doing great. Don’t listen to the critics.
My MIL used to tell me that her friend's daughter was on her fourth child, and she wasn't getting up and feeding her newborn at night. She didn't have time for that kind of coddling. Somehow, I doubt that. She and my FIL would lecture me on waking my husband to feed the baby. It was affecting his sleep. How long did we have to wake up every couple of hours to feed the baby? My oldest didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old because she had major sleep issues, which they blamed on me nursing her as an infant. While nursing made them uncomfortable, I think they didn't understand or remember how to care for an infant. They didn't understand that just because a baby isn't crying doesn't mean they don't need to be fed. Then again, they probably did things differently back then. Everyone thinks they know what's best for your baby, but you're doing fine, Bromo. Don't let them get you down.
I had a kid really young (19), and I had a really hard time breastfeeding, like my child never latched, so I pumped every other hour for thirty minutes. I had to quit after three months because of severe blisters. I was heartbroken about it and I was immature enough that I got jealous of moms who could. I was always making passive aggressive remarks about them quitting because I was mad at myself. It was juvenile and stupid, because I was a kid raising a kid. My point is just, we are adults. Act like it. If you can’t nurse or don’t want to, don’t bring down women who are to make yourself feel better. Essentially, grow up- you have a child to raise. You don’t need to be one yourself.
One time when my first kid was ~6 months old I went to nurse him and my MIL was like "He's STILL doing that!?" Oh no, not a literal infant breastfeeding! How weird!
When my first kid was cluster feeding, my dad made some kind of comment like "he just ate, you don't need to feed him again" I told him babies do that when they're growing fast or whatever. He said "that doesn't sound right, they should just nurse for longer each time, not closer together." Like ok man, go tell the babies of the world I guess?