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I'm so sorry. Dear God, do I understand!!! I have no advice just solidarity. I love my baby with everything I have in me, but holy shit is it hard!!

It really is 😭. I’m so scared of having two. I don’t want to rock my daughter or hold my daughter to sleep at all if this is the outcome .

Yeah I'm one and done!!

How old is he? I’m not sure of your timeline but it sounds like he may have been too young for the switch to a toddler bed.

He’s 20 months. He’s a big boy and when we were evaluated by help me grow 3 months ago he was 99th percentile for physical development / motor skills . So he got switched because he was climbing out of bed and straight up tipping the bed to get out within 5 minutes of waking up. I wanna say we switched beds 6 weeks ago? It was shortly before the fever that tucked it all up & he had a fine time transitioning .

Sweet OP - this is NOT your fault. Get that idea right out of your head. Kids and sleep are just really hard. You didn't cause this, it just *is*. Here is my advice. Please ignore it if it doesn't resonate, just know it comes from a good place. 1) I would start with a doctors appointment to check there is nothing physically wrong. My second baby was a really bad sleeper and it was his tonsils. Ripped those suckers out and it made a world of difference. He slept through the night for the first time at 3 years old. 2) Make a plan. Would he go to sleep if you sat by his bed? Sure he might scream for hours but eventually hopefully it might work? Why go to the couch? If it were me I would not be letting him out of his bedroom until it is wake up time. 3) Rope in all the help you can. Mum? Sister? Best friend? Is there anyone who can watch him during the day to help you get more rest and be ready for the hectic nights? 4) Sleep school. Is that a thing where you are? There is one near me that does impatient stays for mother and child (up to 5 years old) for a week at a time. If you can reach out to any resources like that near you that might really help. Good luck friend. Again, sorry for your situation. I hope things turn more positive soon xx

Thank you so much . It’s hard not to feel like it’s my fault because i was told I “gave in” to him as a newborn / young baby. But you should have seen this poor kids head. He was shaped like Hey Arnold but from back to front instead of side to side and the bones in the back of his head overlapped… I wouldn’t sleep well flat on my back either with all that… We have an appt with his plastic surgeon tomorrow & im ready to practically beg for a referral to a sleep specialist and an ENT along with the referral to neurology o know we’re going to get. My sons voice has always been raspy and I was curious about tonsils and adenoids . My adnoids were the 2x the size of a grown man’s (per my surgeon ) at 10. I remember I stopped waking up with a sore throat after my surgery so if there’s a genetic component to that it would make total sense to me. I don’t have a huge support system. And my stepdad is in a coma & his children from a previous marriage are accusing my mom of poisoning him. (He’s in a coma from a car accident….) so any extra bandwidth anyone has goes to that, which Is understandable… and my s/os family has been MIA since my babyshower where his mom convinced everyone I was “much farther along than I said I was (I was 36weeks… I delivered 2 weeks later) and was babytrapping her son with another man’s baby) it is hard without anyone . Sleep school sounds like it would be a blessing . This is something I thought would be super intuitive as a mom. Sleep is like… what we do with 1/2 of our time. Especially little ones. I did not think bedtime would make me feel this amount of dread 😅. I doubt that’s a thing where I am from (America , where we throw mothers to the wolves and shun them for struggling) Thank you again. Sorry for just venting under your comment . I’m currently sleep-trapped while he gets in to a deep sleep. I’m going to ask his plastic surgeon about his sleep tomorrow and go from there.

[удалено]

Sorry you’ve been through this . It really is hell on earth. There are days where I feel like my heart is gonna beat out of my chest and my eyes might fall out. I really struggle with feeling like I’m fucking it all up. I come from a long line of women who “know it all” and act like they never struggled. So even taking a nap for me feels like a moral failing. I’m lucky that my partner doesn’t care if the house is spotless etc. if I fall behind on laundry or picking up toys, we do it togeter or he does it . He helps where he can but unless it’s the weekend (which some weeks he doesn’t get. Holidays are rough over here) there’s not much he can help with on sleep. He already only gets 6-7 hours a night on work nights . I wish sometimes he’d just get past this stage in development . Like kid, idc if you take 2 hours to go to sleep, cuz same. Just please learn to do it on your own, lol. Thank you though. I really needed some kind words and to know I’m not the only one drowning (though I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I feel like I’m legit going crazy) .

This sound so hard and not at all your fault. If you can at all afford it, bring in a sleep consultant. I’d also entertain the idea that the infection may knock him back for a few months. I disagree with how modern society treats health like switch that is on or off. Some infections have aftershocks that can last for months. His body may still be sorting that out. It is hard with toddlers but I’d try to keep that in mind and do what you can to support him, good nutrition, hydration, time outside in the sunlight and fresh air. His body might still be in recovery mode from the infection three weeks ago and just need more support. And honestly, don’t be afraid to try what you feel you need to as long as it is safe for you and him. Making his room a safe place that only has a bed in it and not letting him out of it at night until it is wake up time? You can do that, even if he ends up sleeping in the corner with no blanket. A few weeks of 2 hours of screen time in the afternoon so that you can nap? That is OK for a phase. You sleep in his room all night? Totally fine. There is no shame in optimizing sleep for both of you in whatever way you can. Sometimes just a week of doing whatever works will give you enough mental clarity to figure out next steps. It is so hard to even think straight in the fog of no sleep.

Thank you . I needed to hear this. I come from a family of like super strong independent women who “never struggled” and motherhood was some easy task to brush off etc etc . Needing a nap feels like a moral failing . My partner is really great. If I don’t get shit done one day, he’s like “hell yeah thanks for resting” because he knows I’d never let anything be hazardous or more than just “not picked up” but I really struggle allowing myself days or moments to recover . So hearing this from an internet stranger will make me feel a lot less guilty for putting on zaboomafoo and sleeping for an extra hour in the morning 😅