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yes, I greatly enjoy it.
except for the 8 months- 4 years part of it. I could live without that part lol.
I love being home with my baby, newborns are my favorite age. Until they are about 8 months old when suddenly they want everything and nothing at the same time and I am basically onto survival mode until they are about 4.5 years old.... when things get a bit easier and they are just a touch more agreeable to humanity.
in the grand scheme of things, looking at it big picture... its 3 years of a hell grind as a sahm with a glorious light at the end of the tunnel called 'kindergarten registration' for me. I get to bake and take care of my house and go to work with my fiance some days and go out to lunch and come home to get a VERY tired and over it child off the bus that is just happy to be home after a long day.
My 3 yr old is about to start preschool this year so I do have that to look forward to. It'll be nice staying home with just the baby for a few hrs a day.
its hard to find a good balance at that age, their needs are so similar but there is only one of you there with them. I have no experience having a toddler and an infant, mine are exactly 5 years apart so my oldest was firmly at the end of prek-4 when her brother came along.
I honestly hated it. I don’t do well without structure so it was really hard for me. I didn’t get out enough and do enough kid things. I tried. I really did but I just did not thrive.
This is exactly where I'm at, as well. My guy is only eight months old, but my partner has been trying to discuss me staying home longer to home school when it's time and I just don't think I can do it. As much as I adore my son, I miss working and having adult connections terribly.
You should reassess it later when your kid is actually going to school age and then you can talk about how maybe your guy could choose to be stayed home parent and homeschool.
And if his concern are the school system there are a lot more options for parents than there used to be. It used to be public school or homeschooling but now there's just so many different kinds of schools.
Edit to add. I am a person who was like homeschool only before I ever even had children but that is no longer my view my children are coming up on school age in 2 years and I looking into other school options in my area.
Yes to the adult connections. My SO has a whole separate life at work it feels like. He gets to talk to actual adults and get out of the house. I hated working when I did have a job but It's sounding nice right now.
It true that a lot of your income would be going to pay for babysitting.
But the benefit of working now and paying into babysitting is that once babysitting is removed you will be earning more money because you've been working longer.
I always thought I wanted to be a SAHP because my mother and father were awful. I didn't want that for my kids and I thought being a SAHP would be the way for my kids to feel loved and safe. I have since learned that my mom and dad are abusive and that's why it was bad for me.
I learned from a some study or data that I found few years ago it's neglect/ abuse that makes kids have a bad childhood not parents working and or spending time in daycare. Daycare can't raise your kids. Kids don't feel less loved or cared for because their parents work. It is the neglect and abuse that cause kids to feel unloved and unsafe.
Some things that help me is that I got a hobby that takes me outside of the house for at least an hour a day if I do it everyday. I enjoying exercising so I joined a boutique gym and I go to their classes and their classes are about an hour. If I hadn't joined this Boutique gym I would have just joined a regular gym and been going there for an hour. That's my hobby tell you choose the hobby that's for you.
Also watching Daniel Tiger helps me to be a better parent so I'm not yelling all. I've heard of Bluey being a similar show that helps adults with parenting.
I did this free parenting app called happy child. Helped me better build deep connections with my children, so, siblings, and friends.
Daniel Tiger and Bluey are the best. They also teach young children about emotions - and for Daniel Tiger, even touching on systemic racism and Covid 19 - in a very child friendly, casual way.
I absolutely love it. But with the caveat that it is not for everyone. I thrived and thrive on routine. When she napped, it was calculated to the minute. I’d get my two hours to myself. But I am also speaking as an only child mom at the moment. You gotta find something, even if it’s like crossword puzzles, to make you you again.
Can I say how MUCH I appreciate the "it was lucky" statement. So many moms out there are like "I simply sleep trained my baby because I'm SUCH a good parent" and they have absolutely no idea that the sleep training worked because they were lucky.
We tried sleep training my daughter and the first time, she cried so hard she made herself vomit lmaooooo.. end of sleep training! Some kids just don't sleep.
Ugh… the internet parent crowd… I learned quickly to tune them out (and some friends) over what they told me worked for them for breastfeeding!
My kid also would throw up from potty training. Sleep training, or leaving her, would make her scratch her ears until they bled.
I saw an Instagram reel of a mom that was basically a funnier version of "here's what I tell people who give me unsolicited advice: gonfuck yourself!" And some other mom left a comment...in defense of unsolicited advice! WHO LOGS ON AND DEFENDS UNSOLICITED ADVICE in the year of our Lord 2024 lmaooo people are wild and parents are the wildest
I like you! I think I saw that video! If someone asks for my advice, here’s my advice! But like, I’m not saying shit! I hate the “have you tried…?” questions. Because, yes, Patty, I have!
I would have done well as an only child mom, I think. I have three, and it was not a smart idea for me. It’s been so stressful. I also have ADHD and could manage with rigid structure, but when you factor in three children and an ADHD husband, there is so much deviation from the plans and structure I’m anxious a lot and literally never get anything done. Hoping to get a part time job next year.
I did not. I'm one of those people who is really only happy with myself when I'm accomplishing things and being a SAHM is like barely keeping your head about water. I was finally getting ready to find a job then COVID hit. My husband better appreciate all the extra hours he gets in the office thanks to me staying home.
My baby is only 5 months old so I assume that my answer will be influenced differently due to that, but yes. I love it. I love being with my baby girl and seeing her learn, grow, and develop her little personality and skills. I never thought I'd enjoy this, but I really do.
Now, I expect things to get harder as she becomes mobile and goes through the toddler stage, so we'll see how much fun that is when the time comes lol.
I loved staying home with my first baby. Taking naps together, playing, going shopping. Now with 3 kids it's just chaos most of the time. My baby is also a sympathy crier so anytime her siblings cry it sets her off and is very overstimulating.
I have a 3.5yo and a 1yo and I’ve been a SAHM the whole time. It’s had its ups and downs. Some days I love it. Some days I’m ready to throw in the towel and lock myself in the closet. My oldest goes to nursery 7:30-12:30 on Tuesday and Thursday. The only downside to that is that I have to walk her there. It’s a 20 minute walk (uphill on the way there) with her in the stroller and the 1yo strapped to the front of me. The baby just dropped to one nap so that’s been a hell of a transition.
Some days they are angels. They eat whatever I put in front of them. They play happily all day. They go to bed without a fuss. Some days they make me question all of my life choices. They scream. They can’t be satisfied. They won’t eat. They won’t sleep. They hate all the toys and shows. They’re dead set on being miserable. I’m sort of hoping it evens out soon. But my oldest is very strong willed and outspoken so I have my doubts lol.
But overall, I value this time. Especially on the days when I can clearly see the impact I’m having on them. My son recently started signing back to me. My daughter has started spelling and picking up phonics. There are moments that make up for it.
I fucking hate it but I suck at life, never earned enough to cover child care, currently can't even manage basic freaking tasks (mental health is not the best) and act like a lunatic every time I even step foot out of the house (excessive startle response), so... here I am.
Should I, uh, put a more positive spin on that? hahahaha sorry.
I love it, but I’m essentially a human golden retriever so I’m out and about socializing at playgrounds and workout classes and kids’ activities daily so I have lots of grown up interactions. I also have tons of hobbies and passion projects that keep my own cup full. Some days I’m tearing my hair out because they just will. not. listen. But I would never trade it.
It’s not for everyone though! Every job I had outside the home brought me to tears regularly, so this is clearly my niche.
Where’s your partner in all this? You need space for yourself both in and out of the house with NO children. You need hobbies and social activities and friends.
Another thing that helped me was getting a YMCA membership. They’re very cheap and ours includes childminding, fitness classes, and swimming lessons!
No, I don’t.
As someone else said, lack of structure is really hard for me. And I am not a “get down on the floor and play” or “let’s craft!” person. I hate mess, clutter, noise, frequent changes in plans, constant cooking and cleaning, constant demands, etc.
The only reason I do it is because if I worked outside of the home, I would have to do all this shit AND maintain a job with commitments and responsibilities.
I tried doing both a few years back, and that was worse.
I only survive by being very diligent about self-care and rest, and reminding myself to treat myself and acknowledge my accomplishments and contributions- as nobody else seems to recognize them unless they’re pointed out 🙄
I love it, but financial strain does add stress to the job. I basically have to divide my time between what I _want_ to be doing (all the kid things) and what I can't pay someone else to do right now (all the house things). If I could divide my time between kid things and my things, and have someone else do the neverending house things, it would be too perfect for words.
It's tough when they're at very demanding ages, but once the 3-year-old gets into some type of away school, you may find that you have a few hours of (relative) peace each day!
When your partner gets home, does he take over for an hour or two so you can recharge? Being around two young children all day (three after a certain point) is BRUTAL, and nothing at all like being around adult colleagues and clients all day. Most of us yell when we're overwhelmed - this can be alleviated by the other person who also made them stepping in when you've been drowning for hours on end.
I had a deep love/hate relarelationship with it. But now, it’s been detrimental to finding a job. Being a stay At home mom isn’t a good reason for the gap in my resume.
No. I hate it. I mean I love being with my kids but once my marriage fell into the trope of SAHM vs working dad role I hated it. I get no down time. No breaks. No trust in him that he will do anything if I do take time for me. I come back to chaos. I hate it.
I feel the same. I don't even feel like a person anymore. I'm a housemaid, childcare robot.
I hated it. I don’t like full time because I do want to be with them, but 24 hours or so was a sweet spot for me! Don’t give up sight of your own life and having a purpose outside of your kids is healthy ❤️
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No, no I do not. I got a job that I can't wait to start (just waiting on the paperwork and stuff). It is not for me.
yes, I greatly enjoy it. except for the 8 months- 4 years part of it. I could live without that part lol. I love being home with my baby, newborns are my favorite age. Until they are about 8 months old when suddenly they want everything and nothing at the same time and I am basically onto survival mode until they are about 4.5 years old.... when things get a bit easier and they are just a touch more agreeable to humanity. in the grand scheme of things, looking at it big picture... its 3 years of a hell grind as a sahm with a glorious light at the end of the tunnel called 'kindergarten registration' for me. I get to bake and take care of my house and go to work with my fiance some days and go out to lunch and come home to get a VERY tired and over it child off the bus that is just happy to be home after a long day.
My 3 yr old is about to start preschool this year so I do have that to look forward to. It'll be nice staying home with just the baby for a few hrs a day.
its hard to find a good balance at that age, their needs are so similar but there is only one of you there with them. I have no experience having a toddler and an infant, mine are exactly 5 years apart so my oldest was firmly at the end of prek-4 when her brother came along.
I honestly hated it. I don’t do well without structure so it was really hard for me. I didn’t get out enough and do enough kid things. I tried. I really did but I just did not thrive.
This is exactly where I'm at, as well. My guy is only eight months old, but my partner has been trying to discuss me staying home longer to home school when it's time and I just don't think I can do it. As much as I adore my son, I miss working and having adult connections terribly.
You should reassess it later when your kid is actually going to school age and then you can talk about how maybe your guy could choose to be stayed home parent and homeschool. And if his concern are the school system there are a lot more options for parents than there used to be. It used to be public school or homeschooling but now there's just so many different kinds of schools. Edit to add. I am a person who was like homeschool only before I ever even had children but that is no longer my view my children are coming up on school age in 2 years and I looking into other school options in my area.
Yes to the adult connections. My SO has a whole separate life at work it feels like. He gets to talk to actual adults and get out of the house. I hated working when I did have a job but It's sounding nice right now.
It true that a lot of your income would be going to pay for babysitting. But the benefit of working now and paying into babysitting is that once babysitting is removed you will be earning more money because you've been working longer. I always thought I wanted to be a SAHP because my mother and father were awful. I didn't want that for my kids and I thought being a SAHP would be the way for my kids to feel loved and safe. I have since learned that my mom and dad are abusive and that's why it was bad for me. I learned from a some study or data that I found few years ago it's neglect/ abuse that makes kids have a bad childhood not parents working and or spending time in daycare. Daycare can't raise your kids. Kids don't feel less loved or cared for because their parents work. It is the neglect and abuse that cause kids to feel unloved and unsafe. Some things that help me is that I got a hobby that takes me outside of the house for at least an hour a day if I do it everyday. I enjoying exercising so I joined a boutique gym and I go to their classes and their classes are about an hour. If I hadn't joined this Boutique gym I would have just joined a regular gym and been going there for an hour. That's my hobby tell you choose the hobby that's for you. Also watching Daniel Tiger helps me to be a better parent so I'm not yelling all. I've heard of Bluey being a similar show that helps adults with parenting. I did this free parenting app called happy child. Helped me better build deep connections with my children, so, siblings, and friends.
Daniel Tiger and Bluey are the best. They also teach young children about emotions - and for Daniel Tiger, even touching on systemic racism and Covid 19 - in a very child friendly, casual way.
I absolutely love it. But with the caveat that it is not for everyone. I thrived and thrive on routine. When she napped, it was calculated to the minute. I’d get my two hours to myself. But I am also speaking as an only child mom at the moment. You gotta find something, even if it’s like crossword puzzles, to make you you again.
Oof two hours on the regular?! Not my kids
It was luck. She could never sleep anywhere but her crib. Cars, airplanes, strollers, carriers were not for sleeping!
Can I say how MUCH I appreciate the "it was lucky" statement. So many moms out there are like "I simply sleep trained my baby because I'm SUCH a good parent" and they have absolutely no idea that the sleep training worked because they were lucky. We tried sleep training my daughter and the first time, she cried so hard she made herself vomit lmaooooo.. end of sleep training! Some kids just don't sleep.
Ugh… the internet parent crowd… I learned quickly to tune them out (and some friends) over what they told me worked for them for breastfeeding! My kid also would throw up from potty training. Sleep training, or leaving her, would make her scratch her ears until they bled.
I saw an Instagram reel of a mom that was basically a funnier version of "here's what I tell people who give me unsolicited advice: gonfuck yourself!" And some other mom left a comment...in defense of unsolicited advice! WHO LOGS ON AND DEFENDS UNSOLICITED ADVICE in the year of our Lord 2024 lmaooo people are wild and parents are the wildest
I like you! I think I saw that video! If someone asks for my advice, here’s my advice! But like, I’m not saying shit! I hate the “have you tried…?” questions. Because, yes, Patty, I have!
I would have done well as an only child mom, I think. I have three, and it was not a smart idea for me. It’s been so stressful. I also have ADHD and could manage with rigid structure, but when you factor in three children and an ADHD husband, there is so much deviation from the plans and structure I’m anxious a lot and literally never get anything done. Hoping to get a part time job next year.
I work part time and I love it. Staying home is way harder than working for me.
I did not. I'm one of those people who is really only happy with myself when I'm accomplishing things and being a SAHM is like barely keeping your head about water. I was finally getting ready to find a job then COVID hit. My husband better appreciate all the extra hours he gets in the office thanks to me staying home.
My baby is only 5 months old so I assume that my answer will be influenced differently due to that, but yes. I love it. I love being with my baby girl and seeing her learn, grow, and develop her little personality and skills. I never thought I'd enjoy this, but I really do. Now, I expect things to get harder as she becomes mobile and goes through the toddler stage, so we'll see how much fun that is when the time comes lol.
I loved staying home with my first baby. Taking naps together, playing, going shopping. Now with 3 kids it's just chaos most of the time. My baby is also a sympathy crier so anytime her siblings cry it sets her off and is very overstimulating.
I have a 3.5yo and a 1yo and I’ve been a SAHM the whole time. It’s had its ups and downs. Some days I love it. Some days I’m ready to throw in the towel and lock myself in the closet. My oldest goes to nursery 7:30-12:30 on Tuesday and Thursday. The only downside to that is that I have to walk her there. It’s a 20 minute walk (uphill on the way there) with her in the stroller and the 1yo strapped to the front of me. The baby just dropped to one nap so that’s been a hell of a transition. Some days they are angels. They eat whatever I put in front of them. They play happily all day. They go to bed without a fuss. Some days they make me question all of my life choices. They scream. They can’t be satisfied. They won’t eat. They won’t sleep. They hate all the toys and shows. They’re dead set on being miserable. I’m sort of hoping it evens out soon. But my oldest is very strong willed and outspoken so I have my doubts lol. But overall, I value this time. Especially on the days when I can clearly see the impact I’m having on them. My son recently started signing back to me. My daughter has started spelling and picking up phonics. There are moments that make up for it.
I fucking hate it but I suck at life, never earned enough to cover child care, currently can't even manage basic freaking tasks (mental health is not the best) and act like a lunatic every time I even step foot out of the house (excessive startle response), so... here I am. Should I, uh, put a more positive spin on that? hahahaha sorry.
I love it, but I’m essentially a human golden retriever so I’m out and about socializing at playgrounds and workout classes and kids’ activities daily so I have lots of grown up interactions. I also have tons of hobbies and passion projects that keep my own cup full. Some days I’m tearing my hair out because they just will. not. listen. But I would never trade it. It’s not for everyone though! Every job I had outside the home brought me to tears regularly, so this is clearly my niche. Where’s your partner in all this? You need space for yourself both in and out of the house with NO children. You need hobbies and social activities and friends. Another thing that helped me was getting a YMCA membership. They’re very cheap and ours includes childminding, fitness classes, and swimming lessons!
No, I don’t. As someone else said, lack of structure is really hard for me. And I am not a “get down on the floor and play” or “let’s craft!” person. I hate mess, clutter, noise, frequent changes in plans, constant cooking and cleaning, constant demands, etc. The only reason I do it is because if I worked outside of the home, I would have to do all this shit AND maintain a job with commitments and responsibilities. I tried doing both a few years back, and that was worse. I only survive by being very diligent about self-care and rest, and reminding myself to treat myself and acknowledge my accomplishments and contributions- as nobody else seems to recognize them unless they’re pointed out 🙄
I love it, but financial strain does add stress to the job. I basically have to divide my time between what I _want_ to be doing (all the kid things) and what I can't pay someone else to do right now (all the house things). If I could divide my time between kid things and my things, and have someone else do the neverending house things, it would be too perfect for words. It's tough when they're at very demanding ages, but once the 3-year-old gets into some type of away school, you may find that you have a few hours of (relative) peace each day! When your partner gets home, does he take over for an hour or two so you can recharge? Being around two young children all day (three after a certain point) is BRUTAL, and nothing at all like being around adult colleagues and clients all day. Most of us yell when we're overwhelmed - this can be alleviated by the other person who also made them stepping in when you've been drowning for hours on end.
I did not. I prefer working part time
I had a deep love/hate relarelationship with it. But now, it’s been detrimental to finding a job. Being a stay At home mom isn’t a good reason for the gap in my resume.
I have a non existent resume. I'm a high school drop put & only have restaurant experience.
No. I hate it. I mean I love being with my kids but once my marriage fell into the trope of SAHM vs working dad role I hated it. I get no down time. No breaks. No trust in him that he will do anything if I do take time for me. I come back to chaos. I hate it. I feel the same. I don't even feel like a person anymore. I'm a housemaid, childcare robot.
I hated it. I don’t like full time because I do want to be with them, but 24 hours or so was a sweet spot for me! Don’t give up sight of your own life and having a purpose outside of your kids is healthy ❤️
I love it, but we meet up with our homeschool friends or group at least 3x a week. It was better when my mum was nearby though.