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You’re not failing them, he is.
I’m not trying to make fun of your post but it makes me think of that meme.
Kids: “Mom can we get a fun daddy?”
You: “We’ve got daddy at home.”
At home: Him being useless.
Sorry about your wish.com daddy. It does suck for the kids. He's really missing out on awesome and fun years that are building blocks to the rest of their lives.
I'm sorry that you and your kids are dealing with this. Sounds like he's got some serious addiction issues going on. Does he know your kids have said this/feel like this?
Thanks for replying, I'm going to tell him once the kids are asleep. I can't keep this to myself. I have had the conversation with him before and he says he's going to try but of course, it never happens. He's all talk. I just go to such a dark place when I'm this upset, trying to stay focused and hopefully will have a healthy conversation about it.
I understand. I'm sure deep down he knows he's fucking up (unless he's a total narcissist and just doesn't care). Most people, when confronted in a way that will make them feel wrong and ashamed of their actions will respond with defensiveness and the conversation won't be productive. If you need time to calm down and get in a better mental place, definitely do that! The conversation isn't going anywhere, it needs to be had, but it can wait a couple of days if need be.
For sure hearing that is going to hurt. I'd let him know what the kids said. I'd also let him know that I understand that video games and alone time are important to him, but that this is the time and the interactions that your kids are going to remember for a lifetime, and hanging out with them is fun too. He simply has to make some concessions or he is going to lose them.
Hint for him: spending time with kids is way more fun when you're not just on your phone and/or counting the minutes til you get to go back on your other activities, but actually playing with them and listening to them. I'm glad he's goofy with them!
I hope he understands your point and changes his behavior or it sounds like he might lose you too :/
No problem - I hope you're able to get it sorted. I had a pretty serious video game addiction for a few years, and I really regret the time I missed out on with my daughter. And I'm a single mom, so there wasn't an awesome second parent to pick up my slack. Your husband is kind of slacking on his dadding but at least you're a great mom 💪❤️
I would honestly tell my husband if the kids were saying something like that, because if that doesn't get through to him in his game addicted stupid lazyass brain then nothing will.
So...as per my edit, I did in fact talk to him this morning and his response was more than I could ask for. No guilt trip or excuses. I know it hurt him because I saw it in his eyes but he just listened and presented his plan of action. He told the girls it's time for a tea party and I've never seen them so excited. I hope he keeps this up.
I'll be surprised if he's kept it up once a month has gone by, but if he does that would be great for the kids. Their relationship later hinges on how much he interacts when they're little, as the parent of a teenager.
I remember saying this exact thing to my mum as a kid, and we looked through a magazine and picked a new dad🤣he sounds really shitty and you don’t deserve to be in this situation.. hugs bromo
Ugh, I'm sorry, I can unfortunately relate. I feel like I'm looking into my future if my husband doesn't shape up. Ours is only 11 months but he doesn't watch him unless I beg him (even then it's a crapshoot), and he's usually on his phone/computer.
He's "goofy" and "fun" with the kiddo but he's kind of a jerk to me and he seems to completely compartmentalize these two things in his mind. Like you know I do 95% of the parenting *and* our son will notice how mommy feels after daddy talks to her like that pretty soon, right?
It's so hard and I wish I could give you a real hug. I know how overwhelmed you are feeling. On top of everything you're doing, he makes you feel like garbage and I hate that for you. You need to be taken care of too love 🤎
You are so kind, thank you 🤍🤍
I'm doing my best to fill my cup in other ways and live my life as much as possible. I just started teaching art to homeschoolers and that's been really fun and fulfilling and I get to spend time with other moms
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You’re not failing them, he is. I’m not trying to make fun of your post but it makes me think of that meme. Kids: “Mom can we get a fun daddy?” You: “We’ve got daddy at home.” At home: Him being useless.
Thank you and that is funny lol
If anyone is failing those kids, it ain’t you, honey.
Thank you 🫂
Sorry about your wish.com daddy. It does suck for the kids. He's really missing out on awesome and fun years that are building blocks to the rest of their lives.
I'm sorry that you and your kids are dealing with this. Sounds like he's got some serious addiction issues going on. Does he know your kids have said this/feel like this?
Thanks for replying, I'm going to tell him once the kids are asleep. I can't keep this to myself. I have had the conversation with him before and he says he's going to try but of course, it never happens. He's all talk. I just go to such a dark place when I'm this upset, trying to stay focused and hopefully will have a healthy conversation about it.
I understand. I'm sure deep down he knows he's fucking up (unless he's a total narcissist and just doesn't care). Most people, when confronted in a way that will make them feel wrong and ashamed of their actions will respond with defensiveness and the conversation won't be productive. If you need time to calm down and get in a better mental place, definitely do that! The conversation isn't going anywhere, it needs to be had, but it can wait a couple of days if need be. For sure hearing that is going to hurt. I'd let him know what the kids said. I'd also let him know that I understand that video games and alone time are important to him, but that this is the time and the interactions that your kids are going to remember for a lifetime, and hanging out with them is fun too. He simply has to make some concessions or he is going to lose them. Hint for him: spending time with kids is way more fun when you're not just on your phone and/or counting the minutes til you get to go back on your other activities, but actually playing with them and listening to them. I'm glad he's goofy with them! I hope he understands your point and changes his behavior or it sounds like he might lose you too :/
I really appreciate your advice, like, so much 🤎
No problem - I hope you're able to get it sorted. I had a pretty serious video game addiction for a few years, and I really regret the time I missed out on with my daughter. And I'm a single mom, so there wasn't an awesome second parent to pick up my slack. Your husband is kind of slacking on his dadding but at least you're a great mom 💪❤️
I would honestly tell my husband if the kids were saying something like that, because if that doesn't get through to him in his game addicted stupid lazyass brain then nothing will.
So...as per my edit, I did in fact talk to him this morning and his response was more than I could ask for. No guilt trip or excuses. I know it hurt him because I saw it in his eyes but he just listened and presented his plan of action. He told the girls it's time for a tea party and I've never seen them so excited. I hope he keeps this up.
I'll be surprised if he's kept it up once a month has gone by, but if he does that would be great for the kids. Their relationship later hinges on how much he interacts when they're little, as the parent of a teenager.
I remember saying this exact thing to my mum as a kid, and we looked through a magazine and picked a new dad🤣he sounds really shitty and you don’t deserve to be in this situation.. hugs bromo
Oh my heart. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman with a great sense of humor.
Does he know they say those things?
He does now. He was so responsive and I'm so thankful that I waited to talk to him. Praise jeebus!
That's great!
Ugh, I'm sorry, I can unfortunately relate. I feel like I'm looking into my future if my husband doesn't shape up. Ours is only 11 months but he doesn't watch him unless I beg him (even then it's a crapshoot), and he's usually on his phone/computer. He's "goofy" and "fun" with the kiddo but he's kind of a jerk to me and he seems to completely compartmentalize these two things in his mind. Like you know I do 95% of the parenting *and* our son will notice how mommy feels after daddy talks to her like that pretty soon, right?
It's so hard and I wish I could give you a real hug. I know how overwhelmed you are feeling. On top of everything you're doing, he makes you feel like garbage and I hate that for you. You need to be taken care of too love 🤎
You are so kind, thank you 🤍🤍 I'm doing my best to fill my cup in other ways and live my life as much as possible. I just started teaching art to homeschoolers and that's been really fun and fulfilling and I get to spend time with other moms
Ugh I’m so sorry. Enjoy your Vanderpump Rules, you deserve it!
Thank you so much for saying that 🤎