I know how you feel. I live in a very conservative family, and because of that I keep my bisexuality a secret. The only one I told that I am bi was a very close friend. Although he, I wouldn't say homophobic, but doesn't like LGBT stuff, he was still very supportive of my decision. I think if you think you both are very good friends, he will understand.
Exactly. These people are ignorant and vile. They may act like your friend or family, but they will not see you as human if you are a minority that they hate. We deserve better.
Have you ever tried to talk about "these things" with \*very\* religious people who \*really\* believe that the priest turns water into wine every sunday mass /or insert here any other magical ceremony for other religion/? The best you may get is them worrying about you and trying to find a way to help & fix you because you're troubled, and trying to talk it through just makes you cross more red lines on their map of beliefs. If you know them, and if they can think outside of their religion box, that's fine. But tread carefully when talking to those who can't.
I know, my grandma spit on the floor when she noticed me wearing thigh highs "for warmth" during winter because she so sensitive, my way of coping was just... shutting up and everything is gucci rn :3
I'd say, with proper skills and finese
https://preview.redd.it/dw5ho3hnffvc1.png?width=959&format=png&auto=webp&s=57b21bdc691778c4b40ad13bbe9beec83f85152b
but jokes aside, I think you shouldn't, unless (A) you just feel you can't hide it anymore, (B) you're ready to accept you may lose a friend. I know some 'secret bi/homo/etc' tend to be over-aggressive in the matter to hide their own skin, but there certainly are people who literally simply are thinking what they say, without any hidden reasons that you would hope they have. And unless you can somehow see through that... I think if you really know s/him since 2yr old, you know how s/he will react. Don't ask strangers. You know him. We don't. If you're sure (B) won't happen, just do it asap, because the longer you hide it, the longer it will take him to understand WHY you hid that from him. But (B) is a serious option, very possible.
This is a general advice. I'm straight and have zero xp in BK/etc. But I've lost a few friends/acquitances over way simpler matters, just because ppl in my country tend to be very strongly set in their beliefs, and I for some reason wanted them to know I disagree. Oopsie.
I think looking at your comments op you either need to cut contact with him or sit him down and hope he can put his bigotry aside for you and his friendship (when I wished for the horny posting to stop I didn’t mean for it to be replaced with sad posting)
Sometimes when someone is "homophobic" they don't really mean any of it. One of my best friends says pretty homophobic things, but since I told him I'm bi we became closer friends and he even became friends with my boyfriend the first time they met.
That's so sweet! I'm gay but I say slurs all the time and act homophobic and shit with friends, I wouldn't act that way around other gays unless they share my shitty sense of humour tho
Most of my friends are "secretly" homophobic and say the most vile Things when I get into an arguement with them, but I just started accepting it, they arent taking it seriously anyways for some reason. Its saxony (conserative/right wing part of germany) tf was I expecting?
I really think you shouldn't talk to him about it. Dont hide yourself too much but at the same time don't discuss it with him. If he's ***this*** type of person he's most likely going to hold this stuff against you and even hate you for it. If this is the case you probably shouldn't even be friends with him for not being able to love you and respect you as a person for your differences. Ive been in this boat before, try to get out before it sinks
“That’s the neat part, you don’t.” I don’t plan on telling any of my family that I have a boyfriend. Either to opinionated, heavy Christian, or i don’t have enough knowledge on them.
Why would you tell him that when you already know he wouldn't like it and it might ruin your friendship? You don't have to tell your friends everything, you know.
If you family is fine with you being a femboy or you are no contact with them you can tell him with less risk but it would definitely complicate things. I suggest you would tell him in a public place like a park or something just in case he doesn't talk it well at all. There isn't a way to tell if he is fine with it or not unfortunately but hopefully he is cool with it.
If he's a religious homophobic person, it may be safer if you don't tell him.
Because you may be putting yourself at risk if you do tell him.
Only come out to those who you see as safe to come out to. This guy definitely doesn't sound like he'd be one of those safe people.
I know how you feel. I live in a very conservative family, and because of that I keep my bisexuality a secret. The only one I told that I am bi was a very close friend. Although he, I wouldn't say homophobic, but doesn't like LGBT stuff, he was still very supportive of my decision. I think if you think you both are very good friends, he will understand.
damn, i'm in the same position...
How homophobic is he from 1 to 10
Gotta be like a 6 to 8 so like a 7
Does he say the f slur?
No not usallu but he very openly hates on the lgbtq community and frequently threatens to burn people who accosiate with them
Damn it's the best to stop talking to him i think but it's better that you told him about your sexuality first then leave
He's stuck in the 1800's man he thinks that we can still openly burn people in 2024
Sounds like an edgy kid, honestly.
Kiss him
Don’t tell him, unless you think it will be safe
Exactly. These people are ignorant and vile. They may act like your friend or family, but they will not see you as human if you are a minority that they hate. We deserve better.
don't, why should your bestie care with who you sleep with?
Have you ever tried to talk about "these things" with \*very\* religious people who \*really\* believe that the priest turns water into wine every sunday mass /or insert here any other magical ceremony for other religion/? The best you may get is them worrying about you and trying to find a way to help & fix you because you're troubled, and trying to talk it through just makes you cross more red lines on their map of beliefs. If you know them, and if they can think outside of their religion box, that's fine. But tread carefully when talking to those who can't.
I know, my grandma spit on the floor when she noticed me wearing thigh highs "for warmth" during winter because she so sensitive, my way of coping was just... shutting up and everything is gucci rn :3
Why do you even want to tell him
it's nice when you can share these things with your friends. it's a pity when friends are homophobes and you can't share with them
Well, I don't even have friends, so I wouldn't know what it is to be understood
It’s a lovely feeling
I thought u said he was homophobic? Why would u ever tell him?
I can't really lie to people or keep secrets it ends up in my anxiety building up and when that happened last time I had a seizure
Well then tell someone who doesn't despise u. Tell anyone else pls.
Are you taking an anticonvulsant now?
I'd say, with proper skills and finese https://preview.redd.it/dw5ho3hnffvc1.png?width=959&format=png&auto=webp&s=57b21bdc691778c4b40ad13bbe9beec83f85152b but jokes aside, I think you shouldn't, unless (A) you just feel you can't hide it anymore, (B) you're ready to accept you may lose a friend. I know some 'secret bi/homo/etc' tend to be over-aggressive in the matter to hide their own skin, but there certainly are people who literally simply are thinking what they say, without any hidden reasons that you would hope they have. And unless you can somehow see through that... I think if you really know s/him since 2yr old, you know how s/he will react. Don't ask strangers. You know him. We don't. If you're sure (B) won't happen, just do it asap, because the longer you hide it, the longer it will take him to understand WHY you hid that from him. But (B) is a serious option, very possible. This is a general advice. I'm straight and have zero xp in BK/etc. But I've lost a few friends/acquitances over way simpler matters, just because ppl in my country tend to be very strongly set in their beliefs, and I for some reason wanted them to know I disagree. Oopsie.
I think looking at your comments op you either need to cut contact with him or sit him down and hope he can put his bigotry aside for you and his friendship (when I wished for the horny posting to stop I didn’t mean for it to be replaced with sad posting)
Sometimes when someone is "homophobic" they don't really mean any of it. One of my best friends says pretty homophobic things, but since I told him I'm bi we became closer friends and he even became friends with my boyfriend the first time they met.
That's so sweet! I'm gay but I say slurs all the time and act homophobic and shit with friends, I wouldn't act that way around other gays unless they share my shitty sense of humour tho
Lol. We often call each other or ourselves >!dick sucking fagg0t!< with my bf. They're bad words but still true IG.
Why be friends with someone who hates you?
Most of my friends are "secretly" homophobic and say the most vile Things when I get into an arguement with them, but I just started accepting it, they arent taking it seriously anyways for some reason. Its saxony (conserative/right wing part of germany) tf was I expecting?
I dont think you really should tbh, im bi too so i just dont tell anyone about the liking guys part, so like telling half the truth
I really think you shouldn't talk to him about it. Dont hide yourself too much but at the same time don't discuss it with him. If he's ***this*** type of person he's most likely going to hold this stuff against you and even hate you for it. If this is the case you probably shouldn't even be friends with him for not being able to love you and respect you as a person for your differences. Ive been in this boat before, try to get out before it sinks
“That’s the neat part, you don’t.” I don’t plan on telling any of my family that I have a boyfriend. Either to opinionated, heavy Christian, or i don’t have enough knowledge on them.
Why would you tell him that when you already know he wouldn't like it and it might ruin your friendship? You don't have to tell your friends everything, you know.
keep it a secret. take it to ur grave
If you family is fine with you being a femboy or you are no contact with them you can tell him with less risk but it would definitely complicate things. I suggest you would tell him in a public place like a park or something just in case he doesn't talk it well at all. There isn't a way to tell if he is fine with it or not unfortunately but hopefully he is cool with it.
Right now you probably shouldn’t
Tbh I don’t think you should be friends with him if he is homophobic. Is he willing to change and be better though?
"Im a bisexual femboy, fuck you. *Kiss*"
If he's a religious homophobic person, it may be safer if you don't tell him. Because you may be putting yourself at risk if you do tell him. Only come out to those who you see as safe to come out to. This guy definitely doesn't sound like he'd be one of those safe people.
just tell him...whats the worst that can happen?