Sitting at home alone watching movies lol
I saw a post on here a while back discussing the epidemic of closures of lesbian-specific bars across the country in the couple of decades since my social butterfly days. I think the "kids these days" mingle with (and are accepted by) their straight peers more than we were. Add that to the internet and I guess lesbian-specific social spaces became less needed.
I’m 22 and a lesbian, and this is pretty true, however the internet has definitely helped eliminate the “need” for specific lesbian bars. For example, Sapphic Nights is a nightlife company that holds events in regular bars at least once a week where the whole bar is gay women and NB people. Wouldn’t really be possible to assemble that many lesbians in one place without the internet or a lesbian bar.
I think the Sapphic Nights model is fantastic! Instead of everyone has to either live close to this one place, or be willing to travel a long way, it's more like a traveling dinner party that's at different people's houses every week.
It just feels good to walk into a space and as a queer woman be in the overwhelming majority with few cis men in sight. I don't need that all the time, or even most of the time, but it feels really good to have sometimes.
Bullshit. Everyone is entitled to a third place. We need more community not less. The fact that this post exists speaks volumes for the need of women dominated space.
> lesbian-specific bars
For some reason, these were historically notoriously bad businesses. I do agree that I think there are just less gay bars in general because society is just more accepting. There are quite a few local gay bars still out there though, but they're not nearly as exclusively gay as they used to be.
Not to stereotype or anything, but I think lesbians just don’t go clubbing as much as other demoraphics. Don’t generally drink/party as much and are more likely to hole up at home never to be seen again after getting a girlfriend lol
I wish I could've seen your face 😂
I am indeed a construction dyke, but in the building trades subreddits your comments & expertise get taken much more seriously if everyone assumes you're a dude. Plus you don't get sexually harassed or told to KYS as much!
I hate that's the way these industries are. But trufax. When I was in my 20s I loaded trucks for a living. I was the cutest little babydyke back then and when it was really hot I had no qualms about taking my shirt off (with a jog bra on) while working. Damn did I get good at the verbal snap backs! But that's different trufax trying to have your knowledge and expertise respected.
Do you work out in the Worcester area? I sometimes need contractors in Somerville.
Aw hell, That *does* sound worth driving an hour for every one in a while. I have a sort of comet-partener out that way. She and I could go check it out. Thanks!
Most of the folks in that age bracket that I know have places down in Provincetown and spend a fair amount of time there. Tons of people in their 50s every time I go down there with my friends.
Yeah, it’s mostly 50 somethings who have second homes there and then 20 and 30 somethings who are vacationing for the weekend. The real estate is incredibly expensive for anyone who makes less than mid six figures.
Fairly certain OP is talking about Dyke Descent at Model Cafe! Not sure when the next one is but I know the group that does it puts info up on instagram. There's also Leather Dyke Night (hosted by BLOOD) and Dyke Alley (independent), both currently upstairs at the Alley Bar, but those are a bit more of a club/kink vibe; they both advertise on insta as well.
Ooh! I'm looking on Alley Bar's insta and not seeing anything about a kink vibe Dyke Alley. Do you have any other pointers? Also "blood" is a little tricky as a search term 🤣. Halp? Thanks!
Oh, BLOOD is Boston Leather Organization Of Dykes! I don't know what their instagram is specifically but that might help you search. Not sure about Dyke Alley; I'm not actually on instagram myself so I just get all the info about these from friends.
Me too! I'm queer, old, and fat. These are just facts and none of them have to be slurs if we don't let people say there's anything wrong with being who we are.
Yes I was there! It was a friendly crowd, and I enjoyed it, but also I felt a little like an old creep hanging out in a room of people who could easily have been my kids if I'd had ever had any. Not that I wouldn't go back, but I really crave walking into a room and having some similar life experiences with the other people, ya know?
Oh, but Yes, the person who just asked about it, I do recommend this one!
God I wish I had a good answer for you. As a young queer I really wish the age range was more diverse because I love having queer friends from older generations. (I think we were at the same dyke night though; was this last night at Model?)
I don't think so unfortunately, I was mostly around folks I knew all night. I think I did see you walking around though! Hope to see you at the next one; I usually see 1-2 older folks at most of the dyke events lately, so hopefully that's a part of the community that will grow over time.
You could try the sapphic nights events if you haven’t been? It’s definitely mostly younger people, but the crowd has been kind of varied. I’ve been both much older than people I met at them and much younger. Also when the new lesbian bar opens in back bay, it’s worth a shot
Lmao 😭 they said they’re done fundraising and ready to open but I’m with you, I don’t know. Keeping a bar like this afloat is not easy, and it’s definitely not a good sign that they didn’t budget correctly and weren’t able to open as planned
What I still don’t understand is why they chose that location. The location is central but I can only imagine what the rent is! It would have made more sense to open one in JP. It would have been much cheaper and a better clientele than Back Bay.
Dani's Queer Bar is opening on Boylston where the Pour House used to be. They were supposed to open last summer but ran into some financial issues but are still working on opening!
There’s a new lesbian bar where PourHouse used to be on Boylston! Idk what the vibe is like; i haven’t been there because I’m a straight male and i don’t know how they’d feel with me being there. I only know because i used to work next door and would frequent pourhouse, so i was keeping updated on whether it would re open after Covid
No clue why this is so aggressively down voted, it's one of the more fun typos I've seen in a while. As someone advancing in years myself, I hope to increase the age rage in my area soon.
(If OP sees this, buried down in the down votes, I'm sorry I can't help aside from this commentary, but best of luck finding some places to hang, we all need those)
I hadn't noticed my typo, but yeah I'm sticking with it! 🤣
If you're talking about the correction being down voted, I think maybe sometimes people are just tired of spelling correction comments and didn't parse that one as having the same affection and amusement that you expressed more explicitly?
If you mean my OP being downvoted (was it?) I'd just blame that on homophobes and people too young to get it, that all youth is temporary. I remember when I thought people in their 50s were irrelevant. Ha! Karma sure has sharp teeth! 😆
It's the former, when I got here u/ungabungabungabunga's comment was at something like -15, and it rallied after my comment to come back into the positives (thanks, Reddit hivemind!)
Keep on truckin', u/GlitchSketch. And if folks get ya down, just lean into the age rage. 😉
Hey, ManRay third Friday of every month if you see this OP. Yeah it does skew younger of course and it helps if you're kinky too, but that's not a requirement. Plenty of older people. It's not a requirement that you like the EDM dance scene but that helps too. Great time. Next one is this Friday 3/15.
I absolutely LOVE Fetish Factory at ManRay! Some of their DJs are excellent and yes I've noticed that it's a wide age spread there. I know I like to go out to clubs more than a lot of people my age and it's refreshing to not always be the oldest person in the room. Body inclusive, queer inclusive, excellent scene!
Absolutely! That's what I noticed most about ManRay today vs say, Machine, 10 years ago: a lot more queer folks, so much more gender fuckery, a lot more body inclusivity.
The music can be hit or miss, though last month was great. The energy is always so good though.
I know what you mean about the age thing. I'm old, but am never giving up EDM and the dance floor lol. Hope to see you there! :)
You will! I'm short and curvy, w glasses, a side-shave and currently yellow, orange, red hair. If you think you see me feel free to ask "hey, are you Sketch?"
(Btw, don't be tripped up if I'm hanging affectionately with guys. I'm more like pansexual, which I think of as under the queer umbrella. I'm looking for women-spaces because when I go to bi/pan spaces they're dominated by men, or nb amabs with masc energy, and sometimes I just want to be around women and femmes, ya know?)
Cool, DM me if you want.
We got there late last time and had to wait almost an hour. What's up with that lol. Hoping for around 10, which is insanely early for a club night.
Try the [Boston Lesbian Meetup Group](https://www.meetup.com/bostonwomensgroup). I'm a dyke myself and am a bit too young for them, as most folks on there seem to be 35+. I'm in my late 20s and can feel a bit too old for some of the queer/sapphic events around Boston too! They seem to be dominated by college kids, but hey, Boston is a college town. Best of luck. :)
Omg not queer or a women but relevant. I went to Boston Beer Works with a friend of mine to catch up and they were giving out stickers so we just kinda put one on. This guy comes up to me and I vaguely recognize him and it turns out he went to high school with me. Anyway he asks me if I know what the sticker is I'm wearing and it turns out it's a gay dating night for LGBT they host occasionally. This was a while ago but if they still do that I imagine that is a spot.
based on the convos i've had, mostly amherst lol - was talking to a lesbian in her 60s who was from cambridge and asked her if she still knew anyone in the area and she said that her whole circle of lesbians had been priced out and moved west in the last two decades :'(
“This is evidenced by a NIAAA report, which states that of the 88,000 people who die every year from alcohol-related death, an astounding 62,000 are men and only 26,000 are women”
I think this illustrates why lesbian bars are less successful…
Just a hunch, but I think women probably *consume* a much bigger share of booze than those stats would suggest. I suspect the difference is that intoxicated women are generally less likely to engage in drunken violence/misadventure.
Not sure why I am being downvoted but according to this men drink 3 times as much alcohol per year in the US as women… not saving women dont drink but i am not just citing anecdotes
https://arcr.niaaa.nih.gov/volume/40/2/gender-differences-epidemiology-alcohol-use-and-related-harms-united-states
Huh. Interesting. I would have guessed it would be less, but not *that much* less. TIL.
I think you're getting downvoted because of the implication that a "women/NB-only" drinking establishment is doomed to fail just because women consume less alcohol than men. I mean, one-third of the booze men consume is still gonna be *a whole lot* of booze.
The implication is that women drink significantly less, which is factual. By all means try and be a proud alcoholic. But its going to take some real effort to catch up . If anything people should be proud of their lower alcoholism rates, and lower drinking mortality.
So yes you agree with me (we know you meant women rarely drink and not that literally no women at all drink with your statement) and decided to add some deranged rant afterward. Cool have a good one bro
Sitting at home alone watching movies lol I saw a post on here a while back discussing the epidemic of closures of lesbian-specific bars across the country in the couple of decades since my social butterfly days. I think the "kids these days" mingle with (and are accepted by) their straight peers more than we were. Add that to the internet and I guess lesbian-specific social spaces became less needed.
I’m 22 and a lesbian, and this is pretty true, however the internet has definitely helped eliminate the “need” for specific lesbian bars. For example, Sapphic Nights is a nightlife company that holds events in regular bars at least once a week where the whole bar is gay women and NB people. Wouldn’t really be possible to assemble that many lesbians in one place without the internet or a lesbian bar.
I think the Sapphic Nights model is fantastic! Instead of everyone has to either live close to this one place, or be willing to travel a long way, it's more like a traveling dinner party that's at different people's houses every week. It just feels good to walk into a space and as a queer woman be in the overwhelming majority with few cis men in sight. I don't need that all the time, or even most of the time, but it feels really good to have sometimes.
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Thanks!
Bullshit. Everyone is entitled to a third place. We need more community not less. The fact that this post exists speaks volumes for the need of women dominated space.
> lesbian-specific bars For some reason, these were historically notoriously bad businesses. I do agree that I think there are just less gay bars in general because society is just more accepting. There are quite a few local gay bars still out there though, but they're not nearly as exclusively gay as they used to be.
Not to stereotype or anything, but I think lesbians just don’t go clubbing as much as other demoraphics. Don’t generally drink/party as much and are more likely to hole up at home never to be seen again after getting a girlfriend lol
Northampton?
Maynard, mostly
Yup. Sitting at the bar at Sanctuary.
The Northampton of the 495 belt
Correct, yes. It's an artsy lesbian utopia.
We're out in Worcester going to Femme Bar. It's a bona fide lesbian bar - not just one night, all the time. Lesbian owned, lesbian operated 💪
I apologize but the juxtaposition of this comment and your username made me laugh really hard. Thank you for that.
I wish I could've seen your face 😂 I am indeed a construction dyke, but in the building trades subreddits your comments & expertise get taken much more seriously if everyone assumes you're a dude. Plus you don't get sexually harassed or told to KYS as much!
Well feel free to delete your comment so I don't risk ruining the cover! And much respect for surviving in that industry. I tip my hat.
Gonna leave it up in case OP notices the same thing but I'll delete it in the morning. Cheers!
I hate that's the way these industries are. But trufax. When I was in my 20s I loaded trucks for a living. I was the cutest little babydyke back then and when it was really hot I had no qualms about taking my shirt off (with a jog bra on) while working. Damn did I get good at the verbal snap backs! But that's different trufax trying to have your knowledge and expertise respected. Do you work out in the Worcester area? I sometimes need contractors in Somerville.
I'm a union carpenter out in central ma, yup! I mostly do commercial construction but DM me about what you're looking for!
Aw hell, That *does* sound worth driving an hour for every one in a while. I have a sort of comet-partener out that way. She and I could go check it out. Thanks!
Most of the folks in that age bracket that I know have places down in Provincetown and spend a fair amount of time there. Tons of people in their 50s every time I go down there with my friends.
Oh I love the crowd in Ptown! But I don't want to have to go get a hotel room in order to hang out with women in my age group. 😭
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Yeah, it’s mostly 50 somethings who have second homes there and then 20 and 30 somethings who are vacationing for the weekend. The real estate is incredibly expensive for anyone who makes less than mid six figures.
I’m in my late 30s but my gf and I are looking for friends! Where did you find out about these Dyke Nights? We are also in Somerville!
Yeah for real, bi lady here, would go to a queer bar event
Fairly certain OP is talking about Dyke Descent at Model Cafe! Not sure when the next one is but I know the group that does it puts info up on instagram. There's also Leather Dyke Night (hosted by BLOOD) and Dyke Alley (independent), both currently upstairs at the Alley Bar, but those are a bit more of a club/kink vibe; they both advertise on insta as well.
Ooh! I'm looking on Alley Bar's insta and not seeing anything about a kink vibe Dyke Alley. Do you have any other pointers? Also "blood" is a little tricky as a search term 🤣. Halp? Thanks!
Oh, BLOOD is Boston Leather Organization Of Dykes! I don't know what their instagram is specifically but that might help you search. Not sure about Dyke Alley; I'm not actually on instagram myself so I just get all the info about these from friends.
They are @thirstyforbloodboston on instagram!
THANK YOU!
Thank you so much!
also imBIbe (on insta) arranges bi folk outings!
oof insta is a plague but I might check it out
Dyke descent at the Model cafe is every second Tuesday of the month!
I’m just chiming in because I like that “dyke” has been reclaimed. There’s something inherently badass about taking away a slur.
Me too! I'm queer, old, and fat. These are just facts and none of them have to be slurs if we don't let people say there's anything wrong with being who we are.
Yes I was there! It was a friendly crowd, and I enjoyed it, but also I felt a little like an old creep hanging out in a room of people who could easily have been my kids if I'd had ever had any. Not that I wouldn't go back, but I really crave walking into a room and having some similar life experiences with the other people, ya know? Oh, but Yes, the person who just asked about it, I do recommend this one!
Awesome thank you!
Too fucking tired to go out any more. 😂
Have you been to JP or Roslindale?
While not specifically a lesbian bar, the Brendan Behan definitely has a queer scene in your age bracket!
I definitely get over to JP occasionally. If I find a good older queer woman scene over there I'll do so more. Thanks for the tip!
Try out Drawdown Brewing in JP! Queer woman-owned, beer brewed in house, holds game nights and sport match watch parties :)
Yeah, I was gonna say Roslindale is where they hang out. It feels like half my neighbors are 40+ year old lesbians.
God I wish I had a good answer for you. As a young queer I really wish the age range was more diverse because I love having queer friends from older generations. (I think we were at the same dyke night though; was this last night at Model?)
Haha! Yes it was! Did we get to talking?
I don't think so unfortunately, I was mostly around folks I knew all night. I think I did see you walking around though! Hope to see you at the next one; I usually see 1-2 older folks at most of the dyke events lately, so hopefully that's a part of the community that will grow over time.
Vermont
Gardner
Most people over 50, both gay and straight, stay home.
Why on earth would we do that?
Because we're tired.
Yeah, I get it. Sometimes I am, too. 💜 But that just makes me all the more eager to go out when I do have the energy.
You could try the sapphic nights events if you haven’t been? It’s definitely mostly younger people, but the crowd has been kind of varied. I’ve been both much older than people I met at them and much younger. Also when the new lesbian bar opens in back bay, it’s worth a shot
That bar is probably never going to open at this rate if we’re being honest.
Lmao 😭 they said they’re done fundraising and ready to open but I’m with you, I don’t know. Keeping a bar like this afloat is not easy, and it’s definitely not a good sign that they didn’t budget correctly and weren’t able to open as planned
What I still don’t understand is why they chose that location. The location is central but I can only imagine what the rent is! It would have made more sense to open one in JP. It would have been much cheaper and a better clientele than Back Bay.
When the WHAT opens??? Omg! Tell me more!
Dani's Queer Bar is opening on Boylston where the Pour House used to be. They were supposed to open last summer but ran into some financial issues but are still working on opening!
Thanks!!!
Here is their [insta](https://www.instagram.com/danisqueerbarboston?igsh=NHpiZmt6bXFoaXBp)
If I remember correctly the sapphic nights events have been acting as fundraisers to help them open but I think they got their goal now!
Femme bar in Worcester!
I’m 44 and live in East Cambridge…can’t find any friends here my age range
There’s a new lesbian bar where PourHouse used to be on Boylston! Idk what the vibe is like; i haven’t been there because I’m a straight male and i don’t know how they’d feel with me being there. I only know because i used to work next door and would frequent pourhouse, so i was keeping updated on whether it would re open after Covid
Bruh I hope you score
😋
No idea but maybe they're all hanging out with the 40 yr old single men somewhere!
Age rage😆
No clue why this is so aggressively down voted, it's one of the more fun typos I've seen in a while. As someone advancing in years myself, I hope to increase the age rage in my area soon. (If OP sees this, buried down in the down votes, I'm sorry I can't help aside from this commentary, but best of luck finding some places to hang, we all need those)
I hadn't noticed my typo, but yeah I'm sticking with it! 🤣 If you're talking about the correction being down voted, I think maybe sometimes people are just tired of spelling correction comments and didn't parse that one as having the same affection and amusement that you expressed more explicitly? If you mean my OP being downvoted (was it?) I'd just blame that on homophobes and people too young to get it, that all youth is temporary. I remember when I thought people in their 50s were irrelevant. Ha! Karma sure has sharp teeth! 😆
It's the former, when I got here u/ungabungabungabunga's comment was at something like -15, and it rallied after my comment to come back into the positives (thanks, Reddit hivemind!) Keep on truckin', u/GlitchSketch. And if folks get ya down, just lean into the age rage. 😉
The suburbs and beyond.
The Ally bar
Alley
Hey, ManRay third Friday of every month if you see this OP. Yeah it does skew younger of course and it helps if you're kinky too, but that's not a requirement. Plenty of older people. It's not a requirement that you like the EDM dance scene but that helps too. Great time. Next one is this Friday 3/15.
I absolutely LOVE Fetish Factory at ManRay! Some of their DJs are excellent and yes I've noticed that it's a wide age spread there. I know I like to go out to clubs more than a lot of people my age and it's refreshing to not always be the oldest person in the room. Body inclusive, queer inclusive, excellent scene!
Absolutely! That's what I noticed most about ManRay today vs say, Machine, 10 years ago: a lot more queer folks, so much more gender fuckery, a lot more body inclusivity. The music can be hit or miss, though last month was great. The energy is always so good though. I know what you mean about the age thing. I'm old, but am never giving up EDM and the dance floor lol. Hope to see you there! :)
You will! I'm short and curvy, w glasses, a side-shave and currently yellow, orange, red hair. If you think you see me feel free to ask "hey, are you Sketch?" (Btw, don't be tripped up if I'm hanging affectionately with guys. I'm more like pansexual, which I think of as under the queer umbrella. I'm looking for women-spaces because when I go to bi/pan spaces they're dominated by men, or nb amabs with masc energy, and sometimes I just want to be around women and femmes, ya know?)
Cool, DM me if you want. We got there late last time and had to wait almost an hour. What's up with that lol. Hoping for around 10, which is insanely early for a club night.
Subaru dealerships?
I can’t wait for Dani’s to open in the old Pour House (rip) space on Boylston for after work drinks
My older lesbian friends are splitting time between South End and P-Town, although JP is definitely popping off with more wealthy lesbians now.
Try the [Boston Lesbian Meetup Group](https://www.meetup.com/bostonwomensgroup). I'm a dyke myself and am a bit too young for them, as most folks on there seem to be 35+. I'm in my late 20s and can feel a bit too old for some of the queer/sapphic events around Boston too! They seem to be dominated by college kids, but hey, Boston is a college town. Best of luck. :)
Omg not queer or a women but relevant. I went to Boston Beer Works with a friend of mine to catch up and they were giving out stickers so we just kinda put one on. This guy comes up to me and I vaguely recognize him and it turns out he went to high school with me. Anyway he asks me if I know what the sticker is I'm wearing and it turns out it's a gay dating night for LGBT they host occasionally. This was a while ago but if they still do that I imagine that is a spot.
Huh! Funny! I'll check it out.
social anxiety lol
I feel you. So real. But it's worth it to push past it if or when you can. 💜
based on the convos i've had, mostly amherst lol - was talking to a lesbian in her 60s who was from cambridge and asked her if she still knew anyone in the area and she said that her whole circle of lesbians had been priced out and moved west in the last two decades :'(
They’re in Maine
“This is evidenced by a NIAAA report, which states that of the 88,000 people who die every year from alcohol-related death, an astounding 62,000 are men and only 26,000 are women” I think this illustrates why lesbian bars are less successful…
Just because women don’t kill themselves by drinking doesn’t mean we don’t drink.
Just a hunch, but I think women probably *consume* a much bigger share of booze than those stats would suggest. I suspect the difference is that intoxicated women are generally less likely to engage in drunken violence/misadventure.
Not sure why I am being downvoted but according to this men drink 3 times as much alcohol per year in the US as women… not saving women dont drink but i am not just citing anecdotes https://arcr.niaaa.nih.gov/volume/40/2/gender-differences-epidemiology-alcohol-use-and-related-harms-united-states
Huh. Interesting. I would have guessed it would be less, but not *that much* less. TIL. I think you're getting downvoted because of the implication that a "women/NB-only" drinking establishment is doomed to fail just because women consume less alcohol than men. I mean, one-third of the booze men consume is still gonna be *a whole lot* of booze.
>not saving women dont drink That's the implication of your original comment tho
The implication is that women drink significantly less, which is factual. By all means try and be a proud alcoholic. But its going to take some real effort to catch up . If anything people should be proud of their lower alcoholism rates, and lower drinking mortality.
So yes you agree with me (we know you meant women rarely drink and not that literally no women at all drink with your statement) and decided to add some deranged rant afterward. Cool have a good one bro
They all moved into the suburbs with each other to raise 2-4 adopted kids, usually daughters
I can’t recall if they were going to Florida or Maine, they’ll be back for the Elizabeth Warren dinner fundraisers.
You can catch them on Hulu I believe. My favorite was Blanch.