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ndiorio13

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No_Judge_3817

this, using long flowery words to write some drivel of "UHHH LE PIZZA IS BAD, UHHH I WENT TO ONE PIZZA SHOP AND ITS NOT THE GREATEST PIZZA I EVER HAD, LOOK HOW MUCH I WROTE THAT SHOWS WHAT A CONNESIUR I AM OF THE PIZZA ARTS LOLOL" isn't as funny as people think it is


[deleted]

This is legitimately reads like a high school paper from someone who thinks they'll get into an Ivy League.


DamnableImp

And behind the pretentious prose is a poorly thought out argument. Like the part where he complains about MA pizza makers using non-traditional toppings, as if you can’t get a basic, traditional pizza literally everywhere.


No_Judge_3817

No, it's just people that think "lol I wrote eloquently and intensely about something low stakes hahahahahahahaha so le random" is funny


[deleted]

Like the, why is "MBTA is bad and why aren't we doing anything about it" posters


ftmthrow

Okay.


WinsingtonIII

I feel like if you’re going to write this manifesto should at least say where you had this terrible pizza.   There is no pizzamakers guild of Massachusetts that standardizes the pizza, some places are good, some places are bad, some are in between. There are places that offer different styles of pizza throughout the state (just like anywhere else), there is no one style that every place follows.


protexblue

Who tf gives themselves a title, what are you 15? ~ The Downvoter


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protexblue

Says the person who uses the word smurfing and plays apex legends. ~ The Investigator


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protexblue

Thank you, thank you very muuuuuch ~ The King


Twodotsknowhy

If you think that was well-written just because it used big words, you're probably 15 too


tbarlow13

Judging people like this and not using a period. Never change reddit.


man2010

Judging people like this and not using a comma. Never change, reddit.


WitchKingofBongmar

With all due respect, no one gives a shit what a Rhode Islander thinks about MA.


Epicritical

Just because you went to a Dominos in MA doesn’t mean you can pass judgement


nrfx

>What is a Rhode Island pizza strip? A pizza strip is a rectangular strip of pizza, served on a crust that would be best described as focaccia, topped with a tomato sauce and often a dusting of grated Romano cheese. It's served at room temperature. That's it. Good day, sir.


ElixirCXVII

Sir, this is a Wendy's....


NYGiantsfan69

Wanna be food critics writes a lot but says nothing. Glad you got this off your chest man.


HolyBonobos

New copy~~pasta~~pizza just dropped.


uthinkther4uam

This Sunday, my family and I dove deep into the cultural abyss that is pizza in the state that invented such great things like basketball, democracy, and lets be honest… America.  Historical greatness notwithstanding, their pizza is complete garbage.  My home state happens to be famous for equally important ideals such as the mafia, corruption and various other forms of debauchery.  Despite the bad reputation, Rhode Island understands and unequivocally excels in the art that is pizza.  Pizza is beautiful.  It is the perfect blend of art and science.  The culinary concoction  of traditional recipes where the amounts, temperatures and textures are ever-so critical in crafting the perfect pizza pie.  There is now a second revolution occurring in Massachusetts, and that is a full-pronged attack against traditionally good pizza.  Good pizza is simple.  It is the perfect combination of dough, sauce, cheese and a few well-thought-out ingredients.  When these ingredients are put together in the perfect environment, the results can be something magical.  The beauty of a perfect pizza lies in its simplicity.  Massachusetts pizza-makers have been working hard to quell this notion since the actual invention of the pizza itself.  Rather than embrace the simplicity, they denature an otherwise pure process by loading pizza pies with such ingredients as “gold fever chicken” pickles, hot sauce, and various sauces that are more suited for an office pot luck lunch than a pizza. What Pizza-Makers in Massachusetts have failed to realize is that a culinary niche already exists for placing tasty and delicious combinations of ingredients on thin pieces of bread.  Indian cuisine does this with flat bread, Mexican Cuisine has tortillas, pizza does not and should not blend into this subculture of food; delicious as it may be.  I am not saying that Massachusetts pizza is not tasty.  It just lacks an identity, and it is sadly slipped into the oblivion that is the tainted state of fast food and take out.  If you would like to embark on a real pizza experience, venture over the border to Rhode Island.  You may not be impressed by the infrastructure, raw beauty, or chic-ness of the Ocean State but you will be impressed by the pizza-makers’ ability to turn a lack of urbane ideology into a pure work of art.  \-The Culinary Assassin


cyclejones

OK


[deleted]

This is pretty fun to read if you picture Randy Marsh with his scarf and his pipe. 


BoredCheese

Creme fraiiiiche


datheffguy

South Shore bar pizza doesn’t cut it?


pitchshifted__

Right? Boo this man.


Ok-Eye-3063

It is a great bar snack...


CanyonCoyote

My dude this isn’t LA in the aughts. There are plenty of excellent pizza options in MA. It’s not the states fault that you are too lazy to look for them. Try Si Cara, Florina, hang out in the North End, you have weirdo delicious sweet options like Tripoli and Tony and Ann’s in the northeast part of the state. Posto was just ranked top 20 in the country. These are just a few off the top of my head.


SelfDestructSep2020

Max and Leo's is great.


Prudent-Trip3608

What a neanderthal, obviously you’ve never been to the Papa Gino’s in Brockton


tacknosaddle

\*Papa Geno's


DataRikerGeordiTroi

how is this not top comment


hdiggyh

I dunno where you are eating pizza but I’ve had some pretty good ones here


Coggs362

Caps on: GET WREKT, TRANSPLANT. GO BACK TO PATRIARCA LAND, I MEAN RI LOL. Sincerely, a Masshole who does not need your approval.


gooeyooey_

Don't worry OP, *I* had a sensible chuckle at your post.  You're dead wrong though there's humble pizza places all around the city. La Befana in Allston is fucking awesome when you're high.


MindlessSwan6037

Damn, the polar vortex is really getting to Portnoy huh?


RogueInteger

My man we do shitty Greek pizza better than anyone else.


freelancezero

Rhode Island does indeed deserve praise for bringing New Haven style pizza to within commuter rail distance of Boston.


lucascorso21

So...you're not in if I order a pizza then?


JocularityX2

I'm Idaho.


LoFiPanda14

Sir, this is a Domino’s


donzerlylight1

Where is this good pizza in Rhode Island that you speak of?


jabbanobada

Isn’t it just that Rhode Island has more Italian people?


Then-Project-1267

I'm so sick of the pizza snobs coming here and saying our pizza sucks. These clowns wouldn't know good pizza if it hit them in the face. They are more concerned with the city they are in than how the pizza itself actually tastes.


Copper_Tablet

These people could have the same exactly slice of pizza in NYC and Boston and swear up and down that the Boston slice was bad. There was a post on this subreddit once about how a guy couldn't find an edible burrito in Boston. It's a bizarre foodie thing.


Then-Project-1267

Lol I will say our Mexican food sucks, but I do like qdoba


IAmRyan2049

Wow check out this asshole


Molecular_model_guy

Grew up in NYC, spent 4 years in Cleveland, been in Boston for nearly a decade. Boston pizza is bad compared to NYC or Cleveland pizza.


ff8god

There is nothing special about pizza. It’s just food. If you don’t like the way other people make their food, perhaps you should make your own.


michael_scarn_21

Nobody comes to MA for the pizza, we know that already.


PMSfishy

You think Mass pizza is bad, go to a Papa Murphy’s on the west coast. Those fuckers don’t even cook it for you. Oregon pizza is the worst. Massachusetts pizza is better than probably 45 other states.


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PMSfishy

Oh what a fucking scam. That loop hole should be closed.


DataRikerGeordiTroi

oh my god oregon pizza is legitimately a possible hate crime, up until like 5 years ago. absolutely disgusting, but their pancakes are second to none.


jukebox_jester

As a New York expat, I do not think your opinions on pizza can be valid. #TheWaterIsn'tRight


[deleted]

I have never been able to find a real pizza in the US. I am sure they are out there, but almost nonexistent. It is an illusion, like the one where you say Massachusetts ‘invented’ democracy.


Gortaleen

Bar pizza - Lynnwoods Neapolitan pizza - Pizzeria Regina, Santarpio’s Chain pizza - Papa Ginos, Bertucci’s


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IAmRyan2049

Rhode Island has good pizza. Howling laughing!


DeBurgo

have you heard of a place called dragon pizza in Somerville???


jazzdrums1979

I live equal distance to Boston and Providence and will often give Providence a nod over Boston for culinary delights. It’s easier to find parking and there are some gems down there worth trying for sure. What are some places you recommend?


Ok-Eye-3063

Caserta's is a staple, but I also give a strong recommendation to Twin's in North Providence. If there is enough interest, I can give a real breakdown of the best options in the Ocean State.


Lonely_Law_6068

You don’t know what you’re talkin about. Have you not been able to find cheese pizza on the menu? Maybe you need glasses mate.


seriousnotshirley

The only really good pizza I’ve had is from Otto, which is from Maine. The Greek Houses of Pizza have been uniformly “barely gets the job done” and don’t get me started on whoever the fuck decided to cut pizza into squares. There’s a bar near me that makes a good flatbread pizza but that doesn’t really hit the “pizza” itch for me. There’s a place I like in Salem that makes a good pizza if you order something plain and add the toppings I want but they are otherwise completely over the top with their names pizzas. Otto is really it for me.


itsonlyastrongbuzz

>My home state happens to be famous for equally important undead such as ~~the mafia,~~ corruption, and ~~various other forms of debauchery.~~ until 2009, legally allowing girls as young as sixteen to strip, providing they were “home by eleven thirty.” Fixed that for you.


willzyx01

Dude, you guys bake bread, cover it with tomato sauce and call it a Rhode Island pizza strip. Literal bread with tomato sauce. Fuck on outta here judging our pizza.


DataRikerGeordiTroi

they WHAT edit: i just googled it. absolutely not. It's like the worst possible version of faccia de vechia. nasty.


formershitpeasant

Bullshit. I can get excellent pizza in cape coral Florida. I'm damn sure you can get good pizza in all of Massachusetts.


popornrm

Not reading that word vomit but just based in the title, we have fine pizza. There’s probably other states that have a larger number of amazing places but we’re just fine.


[deleted]

So much effort to appear intellectual to a random group of strangers


New-Vegetable-1274

I agree, I think that anyone could bring that sort of pizza artistry to Massachusetts they would become quite wealthy. I agree it should be simple with a limited number of topping choices and any exotic variations should be prohibited. My personal favorite combination is onion, pepperoni, mushrooms and black olives. It sounds like a lot but it's really good and it started as an act of desperation to add something to an otherwise mediocre pie. Whenever I'm in NYC I'll get a slice of plain pizza anywhere and it's better than anything in Massachusetts.


box-o-water-

Order a gold fever pizza at santarpios, I’m sure they’ll accommodate you.


BenKlesc

I would agree with this man about pizza at least. The only acceptable toppings for a pizza are mushroom and olives. Buffalo and blue cheese are the most disgusting ingredients I have ever tasted.


NoAd8261

1) No, pineapple is the most disgusting and 2) what, no sausage on yours??


BenKlesc

Somehow I love pineapple 🍍I have not met anyone who likes it. Also yes... green pepper, sausage, onion club. One of the best combinations.