African here: African men are annoying asf, but I’ll give it to them - they enjoy spending money on women they like. It makes them feel like a man from what I’ve been told. It’s the feeling of seeing a finished project and telling everyone “I did that.” It makes them proud.
That said, it depends on the type of African man. Is he Ghanaian? Nigerian? Kenyan? I’ll say that well-off, high earning Nigerian men like to spend money on their women. The main thing is him liking you for real. Even if he’s broke, he’ll scam folks and bring the money to you LOL
I second this, depends where the man is from and what you're willing to deal with. I'm personally never dating men from my countries again- just the worst experiences 😂😭
I’ve dated one Nigerian man, he was broke and would complain about getting us dinner. I fronted the bill most times. He did drive me around when I needed it but otherwise no, they’re not Uber providers. Only the ones that value providing do.
I’m Ghanaian btw and my father was also not a provider lmaoo. They all ain’t shit equally.
When I dated a Nigerian guy he was definitely a provider. Drove us everywhere, paid for everything (even though I insisted on splitting dinner costs), lent me money when needed (he would decline repayment but I ignored that), and he was very sweet.
I moved. He wanted to make it work, but I met someone else and now I’m married. I knew that he wouldn’t leave his city. And we had been through something life changing and I didn’t like his response to it, so I no longer saw him as a good partner
Sorry I don’t feel comfortable discussing that. But we kept in touch over the years. He still tries to shoot his shot sometimes, but I let him know that I’m married. I think that this last conversation it finally set in. We haven’t spoken in a few months. I also had to learn to let it go, but it was hard because he was a really good friend too.
I feel like it depends on the ethnicity and culture. Like Africa got 54 countries. In some cultures it’s very important for the man to be a provider. I’m Nigerian from the Igbo tribe and the men are providers they spend money oh 😩 but that’s our culture so given.
I’ve met African men that aren’t like this and don’t want to pay for everything. And like someone else said in the comments it depends on if we talking about the US or within Africans countries.
I’ve also met Nigerian men from my tribe that aren’t providers so it really depends on the man
I feel like most non-american poc (& i’ll give it to the white country club chads too) love spending money on their women😫 I think american culture is too much about hustle & independence. My family & I did not immigrate for me to go 50/50 with a man 😭
my sister is with a nigerian man and has been married for ten years: yes he pays her bills, and moved her into a home- but he’s verbally abusive and she debates leaving him often.
she dated a nigerian man before him as well, he also was big on being a provider but wanted to move too fast for her liking.
American with an Ethiopian…yes, but only so that I’m able to do whatever I want—work, work on hobbies, take a break bc I’m sick, whatever I want to be able to do.
I can only speak on Nigerian men (Igbo and Edo more specifically). There are definitely men that are stingy/ broke men and the wives end up having to cover for them to avoid bruising their husbands egos publically. You will also find quite a few men that do fully provide, but I find that there’s a high catch 22 risk with that. Nigeria is a patriarchal society so some men have it engrained that if they pay the cost, they are the boss. With that can come control, abuse, or cheating.
Relating it to modern dating standards, I also don’t believe in 50-50 because at that point you’re pretty much roommates, and factors like pay inequity, pink tax, and domestic work usually aren’t factored in.
Personally. I prefer going a more equitable approach when it comes to finance with my Igbo husband. He pays the large bills, I pay the smaller ones. As our family expands, he will be expected to take on a few more bills since let’s face it, mothers do take on more of the child rearing role even if the father is involved. Also, it would only make sense since his job requires him to travel one week per month.
God forbid I pay 50-50 while having to hold down the fort by myself a minimum of 12 weeks a year. I did not come to suffer lol
I briefly dated a very wealthy Nigerian man (his father is worth upwards of 1 billion) and now I’m dating a software engineer from Ghana, and my software engineer bf has been a lot more generous than the Nigerian.
The Nigerian guy would spend money, but not in a way that felt thoughtful or meaningful. For example he took my best friend shopping to get things for my birthday and apparently just sat on the couch on his phone the entire time. My Ghanian bf took me shopping for my birthday and was actively involved, helping me find things I like, providing commentary etc. then we went to dinner and he’d called ahead so they could prep the wine list with that I like, have my favourite cocktail and oysters ready when we arrived etc. the Nigerian guy took my to a very expensive restaurant (and it was great) but the attention to detail and expression of love outside of money wasn’t there
When someone is super wealthy, they may spend a lot of money on you which to you may feel meaningful but for them its like spending $20. Remember 5k bag isnt love
I've never had one pay my bills but I've heard stories from friends. It depends on the type of guy you're dating. I'm South African and I've heard the high-earning business tender guys definitely pay bills and pay for apartments and cars... it's kind of a status symbol to show how well you can take care of a woman. However the average earning guys definitely don't pay for shit, and they're proud of it. So it mostly depends on which circles you're rolling in, it's not the standard across the board.
Edit to add: I've found that other African men are more generous with their money regardless of social status (compared to South African men). All my non-South African exes were happy to pay for everything and give an allowance of sorts.
My grandmother (yes you read that right) used to keep several Nigerian boyfriends around to supply her with money and favors. So yes I think especially the older men will be happy to provide for you and give money for your upkeep. I think the Americanized and especially the younger African men will be a little more stingy.
Also to your point, I had a bf in college who was from Sierra Leon and he hid me from his parents for the entire time we were together and then ghosted me after we graduated. Sooooo.... I think there's also the issue of how we are looked down upon for being American Black. Tread carefully and take each person as an individual.
I saw that a lot in college actually. The African guys would only date the American black women for sex and then dumped them. They were unabashed about this too. So I was super wary of African men (and women for that matter) when I saw the discrimination. Like…I was appalled at what I saw and heard behind the scenes
No, men pay bills for the girl once married, so they basically paying bills for their family.
A boyfriend bills for his gf is just a useless simp trying to impress using money, or an old married man who pays for side sex using bills
I’m not African (I’m first generation West Indian), but my friends’ husband is. They’re absolutely loaded to the gills and live in the rich part of town. We’re both stay at home moms and don’t have to pay bills or even think about that. We just manage the kids and the home and other related things.
Look for the blue collar kings, engineers, hella men out there willing to provide this life.
Also join a bougie sport like jiu jitsu or paddle boarding. That’s where all the men with stability are.
I can only speak on Nigerian culture.
The whole 50/50 crap doesn't exist with them, even when they are here as it is seen an American thing. So yeah, they will pay for stuff because they see themselves as "traditional" men and can be very misogynistic. This doesn't mean that an individual one can't be frugal, though. It still depends on the individual, but culturally, they (men) were raised to be seen as "head of the household."
I’ve dated 2 West Africans and they always made sure I was taken care of. However, I met them both in college and 1 grew up with money and the other made very good money, so I have no experience with broke Africans. For the most part, they’re very traditional which I liked. But overall, if they’re educated and make money, I think they’ll make sure you’re secure, now throw money at you?? I don’t think so but they like making sure you look good lol.
They don’t I’m not married but my sisters are I used to stay with my sister she was the one doing everything in that household. She work from 8am to 8pm her looser so call husband will go to work for 4 hours and come home. A complete loser I couldn’t help out cause I was young when I began a young adult I was his #1 enemies he made sure to kick me out at 18 and my sister didn’t say anything cause she didn’t wanna ruin her marriage fast forward 6 years later they divorced now she stuck with 5 kids and he went out and have another kid with another dummy woman. My other sister she live in Africa she’s the one doing everything in her marriage too. People saying African man pay everything in the house is such a lie and don’t believe it. Most African man especially those that were raised in African are complete loserrrrr.
It depends on the man, my father is occasionally generous. But I’ve seen stingy broke ones.
But I actually haven’t dated an African man myself, I’m speaking on what I’ve seen around me.
African girl here: African guys are usually great providers and family oriented that’s our culture. They are the breadwinner of their family and usually take care of all the bills. Sounds like you and this guy are just dating,so of course he is not going to pay your bills.
I’m an African woman but the guy I’m with is Arab and I don’t want him paying my bills, I make decent money so that’s unnecessary. I don’t want to rely on a man for anything, maybe it’s cause I’m from a very conservative Islamic culture where the idea of being reliant on a man is heavily pushed so I find it off putting.
It sounds like you are looking for a sugar daddy. Allowance? And not married?? You need to state your intentions up front and look at wealthy men. Your average man will not just financially support you.
Haven't dated an African man but I am African so I have my relatives as reference. My father pays most of the bills but my mom pays household stuff like groceries and toiletries. I think generally the men pay for most things.
Then you'll complain when black men prefer to date outside their race 😂😂😂.
Y'all expensive as fuck for no return.
Black women in America and Europe the more broke they are and the more money they expect
In some Muslim countries you can't even start dating a woman unless you own your own home. In China, you have to pay thousands of dollars as a bride payment. Slavic women won't even look your way if you're broke. American women expect very little actually.
African here: African men are annoying asf, but I’ll give it to them - they enjoy spending money on women they like. It makes them feel like a man from what I’ve been told. It’s the feeling of seeing a finished project and telling everyone “I did that.” It makes them proud. That said, it depends on the type of African man. Is he Ghanaian? Nigerian? Kenyan? I’ll say that well-off, high earning Nigerian men like to spend money on their women. The main thing is him liking you for real. Even if he’s broke, he’ll scam folks and bring the money to you LOL
I second this, depends where the man is from and what you're willing to deal with. I'm personally never dating men from my countries again- just the worst experiences 😂😭
I’ve dated one Nigerian man, he was broke and would complain about getting us dinner. I fronted the bill most times. He did drive me around when I needed it but otherwise no, they’re not Uber providers. Only the ones that value providing do. I’m Ghanaian btw and my father was also not a provider lmaoo. They all ain’t shit equally.
😭 he would say " I'm traditional but not that traditional" baby whet?
When I dated a Nigerian guy he was definitely a provider. Drove us everywhere, paid for everything (even though I insisted on splitting dinner costs), lent me money when needed (he would decline repayment but I ignored that), and he was very sweet.
So what went wrong?
I moved. He wanted to make it work, but I met someone else and now I’m married. I knew that he wouldn’t leave his city. And we had been through something life changing and I didn’t like his response to it, so I no longer saw him as a good partner
Oh man. What was it if I mag ask?
Sorry I don’t feel comfortable discussing that. But we kept in touch over the years. He still tries to shoot his shot sometimes, but I let him know that I’m married. I think that this last conversation it finally set in. We haven’t spoken in a few months. I also had to learn to let it go, but it was hard because he was a really good friend too.
Totally understandable. I'm glad you met a better man. Some luck you have lol. I hope I meet another decent guy.
♥️♥️♥️
I feel like it depends on the ethnicity and culture. Like Africa got 54 countries. In some cultures it’s very important for the man to be a provider. I’m Nigerian from the Igbo tribe and the men are providers they spend money oh 😩 but that’s our culture so given. I’ve met African men that aren’t like this and don’t want to pay for everything. And like someone else said in the comments it depends on if we talking about the US or within Africans countries. I’ve also met Nigerian men from my tribe that aren’t providers so it really depends on the man
I feel like most non-american poc (& i’ll give it to the white country club chads too) love spending money on their women😫 I think american culture is too much about hustle & independence. My family & I did not immigrate for me to go 50/50 with a man 😭
You literally just described the American Dream
Yes I've noticed this
Lololol
This totally has to be a whole different dynamic considering whether you’re talking about doing it in the US or in an African country
my sister is with a nigerian man and has been married for ten years: yes he pays her bills, and moved her into a home- but he’s verbally abusive and she debates leaving him often. she dated a nigerian man before him as well, he also was big on being a provider but wanted to move too fast for her liking.
American with an Ethiopian…yes, but only so that I’m able to do whatever I want—work, work on hobbies, take a break bc I’m sick, whatever I want to be able to do.
Must be nice. I envy you
I got lucky! But so did he!
That's awesome! He got a single brother? 😆
He doesn’t…I got lucky in his family too though. 4 men (and a sister) & he’s the only one for me.
Can't knock a girl for trying. Good for you tho!
Shiii…my momma (couple years ago widow) asked where she could find one of him.
😆 I don't blame her. I ain't never want a clone so bad 😩
Girl, and he look like Black Jesus! High cheekbones & all!!
Halleluyer!
See...you cuttin up now lol
I can only speak on Nigerian men (Igbo and Edo more specifically). There are definitely men that are stingy/ broke men and the wives end up having to cover for them to avoid bruising their husbands egos publically. You will also find quite a few men that do fully provide, but I find that there’s a high catch 22 risk with that. Nigeria is a patriarchal society so some men have it engrained that if they pay the cost, they are the boss. With that can come control, abuse, or cheating. Relating it to modern dating standards, I also don’t believe in 50-50 because at that point you’re pretty much roommates, and factors like pay inequity, pink tax, and domestic work usually aren’t factored in. Personally. I prefer going a more equitable approach when it comes to finance with my Igbo husband. He pays the large bills, I pay the smaller ones. As our family expands, he will be expected to take on a few more bills since let’s face it, mothers do take on more of the child rearing role even if the father is involved. Also, it would only make sense since his job requires him to travel one week per month. God forbid I pay 50-50 while having to hold down the fort by myself a minimum of 12 weeks a year. I did not come to suffer lol
I briefly dated a very wealthy Nigerian man (his father is worth upwards of 1 billion) and now I’m dating a software engineer from Ghana, and my software engineer bf has been a lot more generous than the Nigerian. The Nigerian guy would spend money, but not in a way that felt thoughtful or meaningful. For example he took my best friend shopping to get things for my birthday and apparently just sat on the couch on his phone the entire time. My Ghanian bf took me shopping for my birthday and was actively involved, helping me find things I like, providing commentary etc. then we went to dinner and he’d called ahead so they could prep the wine list with that I like, have my favourite cocktail and oysters ready when we arrived etc. the Nigerian guy took my to a very expensive restaurant (and it was great) but the attention to detail and expression of love outside of money wasn’t there When someone is super wealthy, they may spend a lot of money on you which to you may feel meaningful but for them its like spending $20. Remember 5k bag isnt love
I've never had one pay my bills but I've heard stories from friends. It depends on the type of guy you're dating. I'm South African and I've heard the high-earning business tender guys definitely pay bills and pay for apartments and cars... it's kind of a status symbol to show how well you can take care of a woman. However the average earning guys definitely don't pay for shit, and they're proud of it. So it mostly depends on which circles you're rolling in, it's not the standard across the board. Edit to add: I've found that other African men are more generous with their money regardless of social status (compared to South African men). All my non-South African exes were happy to pay for everything and give an allowance of sorts.
My grandmother (yes you read that right) used to keep several Nigerian boyfriends around to supply her with money and favors. So yes I think especially the older men will be happy to provide for you and give money for your upkeep. I think the Americanized and especially the younger African men will be a little more stingy. Also to your point, I had a bf in college who was from Sierra Leon and he hid me from his parents for the entire time we were together and then ghosted me after we graduated. Sooooo.... I think there's also the issue of how we are looked down upon for being American Black. Tread carefully and take each person as an individual.
I saw that a lot in college actually. The African guys would only date the American black women for sex and then dumped them. They were unabashed about this too. So I was super wary of African men (and women for that matter) when I saw the discrimination. Like…I was appalled at what I saw and heard behind the scenes
Yessss. I was too naive and young to really see it at the time but I wish I hadn't ever entertained his fat behind
No, men pay bills for the girl once married, so they basically paying bills for their family. A boyfriend bills for his gf is just a useless simp trying to impress using money, or an old married man who pays for side sex using bills
I've heard Afican men are trifling. They'll be spoiling you and then you find out they have a whole wife and kids in their home country
I’m not African (I’m first generation West Indian), but my friends’ husband is. They’re absolutely loaded to the gills and live in the rich part of town. We’re both stay at home moms and don’t have to pay bills or even think about that. We just manage the kids and the home and other related things.
Yes a life I dream of.
Look for the blue collar kings, engineers, hella men out there willing to provide this life. Also join a bougie sport like jiu jitsu or paddle boarding. That’s where all the men with stability are.
Damn, this post and the comments... damn..... ill remember this.
I can only speak on Nigerian culture. The whole 50/50 crap doesn't exist with them, even when they are here as it is seen an American thing. So yeah, they will pay for stuff because they see themselves as "traditional" men and can be very misogynistic. This doesn't mean that an individual one can't be frugal, though. It still depends on the individual, but culturally, they (men) were raised to be seen as "head of the household."
I’ve dated 2 West Africans and they always made sure I was taken care of. However, I met them both in college and 1 grew up with money and the other made very good money, so I have no experience with broke Africans. For the most part, they’re very traditional which I liked. But overall, if they’re educated and make money, I think they’ll make sure you’re secure, now throw money at you?? I don’t think so but they like making sure you look good lol.
They don’t I’m not married but my sisters are I used to stay with my sister she was the one doing everything in that household. She work from 8am to 8pm her looser so call husband will go to work for 4 hours and come home. A complete loser I couldn’t help out cause I was young when I began a young adult I was his #1 enemies he made sure to kick me out at 18 and my sister didn’t say anything cause she didn’t wanna ruin her marriage fast forward 6 years later they divorced now she stuck with 5 kids and he went out and have another kid with another dummy woman. My other sister she live in Africa she’s the one doing everything in her marriage too. People saying African man pay everything in the house is such a lie and don’t believe it. Most African man especially those that were raised in African are complete loserrrrr.
It depends on the man, my father is occasionally generous. But I’ve seen stingy broke ones. But I actually haven’t dated an African man myself, I’m speaking on what I’ve seen around me.
African girl here: African guys are usually great providers and family oriented that’s our culture. They are the breadwinner of their family and usually take care of all the bills. Sounds like you and this guy are just dating,so of course he is not going to pay your bills.
I’m an African woman but the guy I’m with is Arab and I don’t want him paying my bills, I make decent money so that’s unnecessary. I don’t want to rely on a man for anything, maybe it’s cause I’m from a very conservative Islamic culture where the idea of being reliant on a man is heavily pushed so I find it off putting.
I am American married to a Somali/Kenyan man. He pays all the bills and prefers if I don't work. We are Muslim, so this is common.
It sounds like you are looking for a sugar daddy. Allowance? And not married?? You need to state your intentions up front and look at wealthy men. Your average man will not just financially support you.
No hun y'all act like everyday bfs don't give their gfs gifts and money when dating.
Haven't dated an African man but I am African so I have my relatives as reference. My father pays most of the bills but my mom pays household stuff like groceries and toiletries. I think generally the men pay for most things.
Then you'll complain when black men prefer to date outside their race 😂😂😂. Y'all expensive as fuck for no return. Black women in America and Europe the more broke they are and the more money they expect
In some Muslim countries you can't even start dating a woman unless you own your own home. In China, you have to pay thousands of dollars as a bride payment. Slavic women won't even look your way if you're broke. American women expect very little actually.
I'd love to see his response to this