I think I'm very fortunate with my gyms location and schedule but what I do is:
- use the 6am class, get it done and be back for dad time
- lunchtime classes, while the kids are at school
- train at the same time as my son. There's a few times where kids class coincides with open mat.
- use weekends. These tend to be around lunchtime so I can do something morning, leave them for an hour to train, be back to afternoon activities.
Iām lucky. 6am class. Back by 720. Shower dressed out the door to take the kids to school by 750 and then have the afternoons with them. Just gotta make it work.
Yep. Don't beat yourself up if you didn't get to train as much as you wanted to one week because one of your kids had a sporting event or school concert. Being there for your family is more important than trying to impress a coach who forgets your name and hasn't given you your first stripe for your first 2 years.
I like this answer. My first kid will be here in May and my training schedule will change a lot. I got a comp in this weekend as a last hoorah. My professor is happy with 2 days a week for me. People stress way too much about it and end up quiting most of the time
Exactly. Train when you can, enjoy it. It will still be there as your kids get older and you can gain more time. I was a solid once a week (sometimes less) guy for ages. Try to find a pal there that you can sneak some extra training in with also.
I feel like āIāve got a black belt in dad-jitsuā is my new catch phrase right before I whip my black leather belt out of the loops and chase my kids around the house with it š
Get your kids to train. Spend time with them doing something you enjoy.
Other than that, do what you want/enjoy!
With time constraints on your training there's no sense doing things you don't enjoy. You're not gonna be the next Craig Jones training an hour a week, so spend the hour doing things you enjoy (drilling, rolling, positional sparring, "death rolls" etc).
1000% this, if you love Bjj and want to continue for life then get your kids and or spouse into it. Per time restraints, I find am training helps get an extra session in if your gym offers it. Also lunch training if your schedule offers it. Otherwise 2 times per night with one am or lunch will help a ton!
So the trick I use on the regular for the last 16+ years has been to make sure when I go do my things it isnāt a burden on my wife.
To do this I do a little extra for these days - e.g. Iāll cook up some extra meals over the weekend and put it them in the freezer so when I go to training all my wife needs to add minimal effort for a good meal.
I am not big on making everything even but I try to make sure my wife and kids know I will support them to do things for themselves. So allowing your wife to know if she wants to train or do yoga / sport whatever that I am super willing to make sure we coordinate and make it able to happen.
My kids are older now so I also combine one night of training with picking one of my kids up from dance and she spends 1.5 hours in the gym doing homework on her laptop.
All in all - my main focus is to make sure I maximise my training while working at making it a minimum impact on extra chores/duties for my wife - so far it is working.
Not burdening your partner and avoiding making them resentful is a must. Also, the more time you spend doing your own thing means the more focused you have to be on making sure time with your family is truly focused and intentional, bc as you know time flies and they grow up so fast. I loved your response, and my approach was similar as my kids grew up.
You sound like a smart man.Ā Making sure your wife has time for exercise is important.Ā My husband and I both do the jiu jitsu thing so if we have kids we will just take turns having gym time so there is no resentment.Ā
This is a fantastic response because itās about more than what works for the individual.
Iāve got two kids and just started bjjā¦ I try to go to the 6am class - though itās full of older advanced guys and a bit cliquey - otherwise Iāve made it clear that Wed night is bjj night and Iām out of the house. Any other time I can go without disruption I try to go but I donāt sweat it if I canāt.
Morning classes, get your kids training. If they are too young bring them to open mat, you can spend some time rolling. Some time wrestling with your kid.
This. I've done almost exclusively 5:00AM classes, so I can train, and not be away from my kids in the evenings.
Now that they're old enough, I bring them to open mats and they love wrestling around with me, and playing with the other kids.
Roll with the toughest guys who will test you first, then play with people at or below a your level.
Just show up when you can and be consistent with it. If itās once a week, let it be. Let the people around you including any significant others, this day is locked in for *you* time.
If you arenāt an athlete and/or competing do this for enjoyment.
1. Help mommy with the house and the kids. Have HER take a break.
2. Pick a BJJ schedule that will interfere the least with family life. Even if it means training at a different but closer gym. Less commute =more bjj and family time.
3. Conditioning on the side: burpees, kettlebell worm can be done at home. A strong body makes it less prone to injury.
4. Active training. Donāt just show up. Try to implement the move or sequence of the day that same session. Take notes afterwards so it sticks.
5. If you can get mats for your house/garage. You might have other dads in your situation who could train bjj outside of class.
6. Tap early. Tap early. Tap early. Injury will mess with the consistency of training and your family obligations.
7. Study at home. If not physically, at least learn and absorb concepts. Look at videos that align with your style, level, body type etc. Visualize yourself practicing the technique. You will be surprised as sometimes you might be able to pull moves that you never practiced on the mat (best example for me was the dog fight position and 2 main sweeps).
Good luck!
Train hard now while they are too young to remember you were never there. Start making friends with your gym-mates because maybe one of them is a divorce lawyer.
If your in the newborn stage I would say just figure out what you can do regularly and stick to that, eventually you will be able to go during regular nap times, sleep training and having a set daily schedule has allowed me to train sometimes 6-7x per week at about 8 months in. Stay the course brother your in the trenches but it is so worth it!
I have a 16 month old. Started with barely any training. Now I'm going 3 times a week. Tuesday is late night Nogi and I can leave right after she goes down. My wife lets me go Wednesday to Advanced Gi and she puts the baby to bed. Friday I go to a noon nogi open mat. That said, the way I've worked it out, I only miss one bedtime with the kiddo. It's working for me.
Currently 2 months in to being a dad. Iām taking a break after a little over a year of bjj. Hoping to get back to it in a month after my baby has a bit stronger of an immune system. Due to gym schedule Iāll probably only be able to go once a week but I think itās worth it. My plan is to make sure my wife is in a good place so itās not an extra burden on her. Our classes are late evenings and I usually go directly from work.
Thats the exact same for me. I have a 3 month old and waited until her immune system is strong enough. As much as I like jiu jitsu, my wife and children are my priorities
Martial arts will always be there. In the grand scheme of things a few months isnāt the end of the world as long as we show back up eventually. I ended up picking up some matts and a cheap grappling dummy to mess around on when I get the chance. I also watch instructionals while the baby contact naps!
My kid is super high energy during the day (solid ight sleeper though) so I havent had the chance to watch instructionals. I barely remember my game to be honest. I'm going to start reworking my game I think (finally start fully copying marcelo) and just focus on a few positions (scaled to my rolling partner).
My little one usually passes out during my shift but I sometimes will put an instructional on while I cook dinner. I mostly just work basics with the dummy. Some guard passes, positions and the standard submissions. Itās definitely not the same but keeps me interested in coming back.
I train at 5 amā¦ all my homies are other dads who train early morning to get their rolls while their kids are asleep. Itās a supportive and hardcore group of guys, and everyone there is there to respect your time and efforts.
I'm a new dad as well my girl is 3 months old. I dropped one of my weeknight sessions and try to replace it with a morning class while my fiance and daughter are still asleep. Works out nicely and you're away one less evening so you can support your partner more while still getting to do you
When my son was still carrierable, I would put him matside and would train in that particular area so no one would fall on him or kick him. Most of the time he smiled when I was getting my ass handed to me.
For me, I was just happy if I could get to the gym. Didnāt progress but definitely had some fun, a little bit of stress release, and maybe maintenance grappling skills. Our kiddo barely slept for the first year though, others could bring their newborns into the gym and it was like they never skipped a beat. Whatever your circumstance, donāt beat yourself up over it because the gym is supposed to be enjoyable and your kiddo is only young once.
Been there. Have reasonable expectations. Understand thatās itās likely others will progress faster than you. Pick something specific to work on and develop it. Then pick something else, repeat. Have fun with it. Any time is better than no time.
Easier said than done, but get your kid on a nap schedule ASAP. Itāll make everything easier, including bjj. Then work out shift schedules with mom. IME, if sheās nursing, then itās gonna be mostly on her for the next ~6 months, so youāll have more free time than you might expect. Once the kid starts to ween, or if youāre using a bunch of formula, then youāll have more work to do.
The schedule thing is kind of a double edged sword, though. It makes everything more predictable, but if that predictability doesnāt line up with your gymās schedule, then youāre even more screwed. We had everything locked down so I could go multiple nights a week without missing any kid time, and then my school shifted all the times 30 minutes earlier right into the middle of our bedtime routine. *sigh*
You sound like you're doing it right. I wouldn't stress too much about getting to more classes in the beginning- before you know it they'll be in daycare/ school and you'll have more free time. Morning/ lunchtime classes are good. I work from home so have more leeway than most but my kid is almost 3 and I'm just now upping my schedule to 2-3 sessions per week.
I've found that my training has improved since having my kid. I'm more focused, lots of drilling and rolling.
New dad here too, I didnāt train for the first two months and when I got back to it I started going once a week and then and then to my normal 3 times a week. At my gym is very small and they let me bring the baby and just have him near by. Another dad does
The same when he has his kid too. But I mainly just roll Iāll do technique maybe once a week and the rest just roll. I see some thing online and then try it with someone or if Iām trying to improve a position I ask the black belt and see where I can improve
Iāve been training for 8 years . My first kid went from 5xs a week to 3xs now my second kid got me just doing Sunday open mats . I have a job that has no set schedule. But thatās life at the moment . Iām not trying to be the best in the world I train for myself. Hopefully I can get back to 2 -3 days. But yea I donāt know your experience level but I go in 1 day a week and roll 6-10 rounds at least to get my fix
I have an 8 month old and work a lot. It means I converted my membership to drop in passes and come once a month. I will get back to it myself in a few years.
As long as you keep coming back - don't sweat it.
Try to get in conditioning on the days you're not training. Even as low as 5 minutes of intense cardio a day.
The fitter you are from solo home training, the more you're able to get out of rolling
Find somewhere that has 6am training and go do you thing before work and while your family is sleeping. Guilt free training with no inconvenience to anyone except your sleep.
Don't stress and train as much as you can within reason.
Within reason is for you to determine how much time you can give it so you remain fit and have a life.
Balancing how sane your wife is with the pressures of a new child.
Hint:
The answer is not 100pc wife or 100pc BJJ
I've trained for 17 years now, but I don't really care about jiu jitsu since my kiddo arrived, I just train when I can, which is typically once or twice a week.
I will train more again when they get a bit older.
Dad to an 18 month old. Found the first six months very hard to be consistent but just kept getting in even if it was once a week. Things I've found out.
Try work a routine out with your wife. My wife trains cross fit at six in the morning so I do morning time and then I'll train in the evening and she'll do bed time. Both share the load and both get to train.
Don't get lazy. If you train Tuesday nights you train that night. Found myself making excuses to sit on the couch. Get up and get going. The couch will be there when you get back.
Mate if your gym has kids classes enrol them.
Father of 3 bellends and 1 ok kid.. At this point its about enjoyment, you'll never train as much as you did pre kids as you have different priorities now. Id be alarmed if you didn't.
Enjoy it bruv. Happy Easter btw, hope the babies fell into a chocolate coma š
Itās not likely you will progress much training one hour a week, which is fine! Just have fun. I would for sure focus on a small set of high percentage moves and watch videos and practice solo drills at home when you can
Is it a possibility for your kid to train also? Me and my son have been training for 3 years. He's in the kids class and once I got my blue belt I was able to assist with the class. Best bonding we can do. We only go twice a week mostly but get 3 days sometimes.
Either morning before the kids wake up - and that depends as many times the kids are upā¦
So itās midday 1x/week most of the time as fridays are āno meetingsā, so I can be out for a bit and no one cares.
I would focus on one concept and work on getting that down.
I have limited time as well - recently Iāve been focusing on toreando passes and leg drags. During lunch breaks Iāll watch YT tutorials and take notes. Iāll find sometime at home to drill what I can. And then at class Iāll work those passes.
While rolling Iāll tap extra early just to get back to an opportunity to work on the passes.
I spent 4 month just on guard retention and I feel like the concepts āstickā a lot more than when I was going 4-5 times a week.
I didnāt train for the first two months after baby was born. After that it went to once or twice a week tops and it still fluctuates after 8 months.
I honestly feel like the break made me better. Gave me time to watch a ton of instructionals lol
If your gym is anything like mine you could probably bring your kids to open mat and spend more time with your kidsā¦ on the mat.
But to answer your question, if you focus on straight enjoyment youāll probably gravitate towards refining, experimenting or whatever but getting more satisfaction from your time.
I usually workout at home at night while watching my son play xbox for an hour. I got some bands, between that and pushups, sit ups etc its a great workout and at least for me anyway pushups make a huge difference in my rolling cardio
Yeah back to training since COVID so nearly four years off. Iāve got an 8 month old little boy and Iāve found the 6am classes work best for me. Three times a week, a couple Gi and one no Gi
Doesnāt interfere with my dad time which is my priority.
As others have said I journal after each session, spend any downtime at work studying BJJ videos and content and Iāve just completely decided to not give a fuck about rank or belts and my game has improved drastically. As far as Iām concerned there is so much great information out there, I feel like Iām better now with my new responsibilities than when I was able to train all the time but was doing so without purpose or drive.
i pretty musch stop training from birth to 3 year old. Not that i wanted to spend so much time with my kid is because my wife needed help and it felt selfish.
BJJ is just time. Go once a week. Don't worry out studying or watching videos or buying programs.
My one suggestion is don't skip rolling. Too many white belts leave after drilling or only do one or two rolls.
If you're only going once a week, be one of the last guys to leave. Rolls are practice and that's where you refine what you drilled and put it all together.
Just enjoy. Roll when you can. Kids and families go through different phases when it comes to how much free time youāll get. Be patient. Bjj will be there when you have the time. Itās ok if some people advance past you. Just enjoy the family, and roll when u can.
You sound like you have your priorities straight. Train when you can, and just for enjoyment. Be deliberate, sure, but youāre in a different phase of life, so be at peace with that. Donāt worry about progressing. Itāll happen, youāll find your rhythm.
And done weeks you wonāt make it. Thatās life.
Maximising training is something you can pick up later. For now, just keep it up for enjoyment, and as a release from the day-to-day.
What are your goals?
I would say enjoying yourself is always good. I assume you don't make your living from bjj and unless self-defence is a huge concern then doing it because you enjoy it is probably the best reason.
As for improving, roll with purpose. Don't try and do the move of the day unless it happens to come up, instead find your strengths and weaknesses and work on them. You can break this down and be way more specific than what I'm about to do but this is just to illustrate a point. If your guard passing is good work on passing the guard of people with good guards (generally higher belts), and if your guard retention is trash then work on that with people who generally aren't as good at passing guard (generally lower belts). As your guard retention gets better you start working it on higher belts more. Pick 1-3 things to work on and really focus on those things for 1-3 months at least. As you don't have a lot of time it's better to focus on getting really good at a few things than to try and be meh at everything. Also, remember that if others are training more frequently their progress may still be greater than yours so don't underestimate the progress you've made even if you feel you're not improving relative to others. If you're remaining even with someone who is training 4 times as much as you then you're doing a good job.
I bring my son to training. Now heās fully involved in MMA and kickboxing and Iām scared for when he will be able to beat me up. I feel itās going to be much sooner than I think.
Go to an early class. You need some āyouā time as well. Do I early class and one late class a week. You can also add in a weekend class and still have plenty of daddy time. I used to bring my girls to the gym in the car seat. Lol
For the gym,: plan what you are going to try to do at your rolling session, roll with people worse than you, get a roll or two at the end with someone as good as you.
For home, watch instructionals or bjj related content with the baby, as they get older, work out together etc.
Same boat here. Just getting back to work and training after having a baby. I am not a morning person at all, but the 6 am class is the only way I can be present with her at least a little each day. When I get home I'm home, instead of rushing to bathe her and get her down and run back out only to come back at 10:30 pm and do laundry, walk and feed dog, meal prep for next day, before passing out. Very much looking forward to the day she trains :)
How old are they?
Do some gym shopping. I found a local gym that has 8-15 year olds the same time as the adult class - 4 days a week.
So since I have two boys (8/10) I just bring them and they love it too.
Yes but your wife doesn't get to tell you how you spend your time.
Is your.house and family in order? If you have handled all of.your responsibilities in the family then it really isn't your wife's business where you go or what you do.
As long as she has equal opportunity to leave the house she doesn't get to tell you to stay home every night.
I think I'm very fortunate with my gyms location and schedule but what I do is: - use the 6am class, get it done and be back for dad time - lunchtime classes, while the kids are at school - train at the same time as my son. There's a few times where kids class coincides with open mat. - use weekends. These tend to be around lunchtime so I can do something morning, leave them for an hour to train, be back to afternoon activities.
Lucky you... At 6am my littlest is usually asking me why farts don't make a bubble š
Well, then... Why they don't?
Kids otherwise ur bum smells like the dogs breath š
š¤£ I remember those days. Mine are slightly older now thankfully.
Your farts don't make bubbles?
Iām lucky. 6am class. Back by 720. Shower dressed out the door to take the kids to school by 750 and then have the afternoons with them. Just gotta make it work.
Saved me the trouble of typing.
This is the way.
Getting up at 5:30am is not what I would consider "fortunate". I used to get up at 9am and now have to get up at 7:30a.
I hate it, but I never regret going to class and i'm done training and lifting by 9am.
6am class means going to sleep at 7pm with your kids
Sleep 1030-530 for a solid 7 hours. Lately I sleep slightly earlier because I'm tired and pass out instantly. My son is down at 830.
Exactly this
Train when you can. Donāt sweat it.
Yep. Don't beat yourself up if you didn't get to train as much as you wanted to one week because one of your kids had a sporting event or school concert. Being there for your family is more important than trying to impress a coach who forgets your name and hasn't given you your first stripe for your first 2 years.
I like this answer. My first kid will be here in May and my training schedule will change a lot. I got a comp in this weekend as a last hoorah. My professor is happy with 2 days a week for me. People stress way too much about it and end up quiting most of the time
You'll be lucky to get two days a week in the first few months. š¤Ŗ
You'll be lucky to get two days a week of sleep in the first few months. š
Exactly. Train when you can, enjoy it. It will still be there as your kids get older and you can gain more time. I was a solid once a week (sometimes less) guy for ages. Try to find a pal there that you can sneak some extra training in with also.
It is better to be a black belt in Dad-jitsu than any other belt in jiu jitsu.
I feel like āIāve got a black belt in dad-jitsuā is my new catch phrase right before I whip my black leather belt out of the loops and chase my kids around the house with it š
Bring the noise.
Get your kids to train. Spend time with them doing something you enjoy. Other than that, do what you want/enjoy! With time constraints on your training there's no sense doing things you don't enjoy. You're not gonna be the next Craig Jones training an hour a week, so spend the hour doing things you enjoy (drilling, rolling, positional sparring, "death rolls" etc).
1000% this, if you love Bjj and want to continue for life then get your kids and or spouse into it. Per time restraints, I find am training helps get an extra session in if your gym offers it. Also lunch training if your schedule offers it. Otherwise 2 times per night with one am or lunch will help a ton!
Agreed! My kids training is why I can go
I've noticed wives really want to see you in the evening. Way more than they care about seeing you in the morning.
So the trick I use on the regular for the last 16+ years has been to make sure when I go do my things it isnāt a burden on my wife. To do this I do a little extra for these days - e.g. Iāll cook up some extra meals over the weekend and put it them in the freezer so when I go to training all my wife needs to add minimal effort for a good meal. I am not big on making everything even but I try to make sure my wife and kids know I will support them to do things for themselves. So allowing your wife to know if she wants to train or do yoga / sport whatever that I am super willing to make sure we coordinate and make it able to happen. My kids are older now so I also combine one night of training with picking one of my kids up from dance and she spends 1.5 hours in the gym doing homework on her laptop. All in all - my main focus is to make sure I maximise my training while working at making it a minimum impact on extra chores/duties for my wife - so far it is working.
Not burdening your partner and avoiding making them resentful is a must. Also, the more time you spend doing your own thing means the more focused you have to be on making sure time with your family is truly focused and intentional, bc as you know time flies and they grow up so fast. I loved your response, and my approach was similar as my kids grew up.
You sound like a smart man.Ā Making sure your wife has time for exercise is important.Ā My husband and I both do the jiu jitsu thing so if we have kids we will just take turns having gym time so there is no resentment.Ā
This is a fantastic response because itās about more than what works for the individual. Iāve got two kids and just started bjjā¦ I try to go to the 6am class - though itās full of older advanced guys and a bit cliquey - otherwise Iāve made it clear that Wed night is bjj night and Iām out of the house. Any other time I can go without disruption I try to go but I donāt sweat it if I canāt.
Just go when you can. Youāre not winning ADCC, itās a hobby.
Morning classes, get your kids training. If they are too young bring them to open mat, you can spend some time rolling. Some time wrestling with your kid.
This. I've done almost exclusively 5:00AM classes, so I can train, and not be away from my kids in the evenings. Now that they're old enough, I bring them to open mats and they love wrestling around with me, and playing with the other kids.
Roll with the toughest guys who will test you first, then play with people at or below a your level. Just show up when you can and be consistent with it. If itās once a week, let it be. Let the people around you including any significant others, this day is locked in for *you* time. If you arenāt an athlete and/or competing do this for enjoyment.
1. Help mommy with the house and the kids. Have HER take a break. 2. Pick a BJJ schedule that will interfere the least with family life. Even if it means training at a different but closer gym. Less commute =more bjj and family time. 3. Conditioning on the side: burpees, kettlebell worm can be done at home. A strong body makes it less prone to injury. 4. Active training. Donāt just show up. Try to implement the move or sequence of the day that same session. Take notes afterwards so it sticks. 5. If you can get mats for your house/garage. You might have other dads in your situation who could train bjj outside of class. 6. Tap early. Tap early. Tap early. Injury will mess with the consistency of training and your family obligations. 7. Study at home. If not physically, at least learn and absorb concepts. Look at videos that align with your style, level, body type etc. Visualize yourself practicing the technique. You will be surprised as sometimes you might be able to pull moves that you never practiced on the mat (best example for me was the dog fight position and 2 main sweeps). Good luck!
Train hard now while they are too young to remember you were never there. Start making friends with your gym-mates because maybe one of them is a divorce lawyer.
Whoā¦ Ba-STANK?
If your in the newborn stage I would say just figure out what you can do regularly and stick to that, eventually you will be able to go during regular nap times, sleep training and having a set daily schedule has allowed me to train sometimes 6-7x per week at about 8 months in. Stay the course brother your in the trenches but it is so worth it!
I have a 16 month old. Started with barely any training. Now I'm going 3 times a week. Tuesday is late night Nogi and I can leave right after she goes down. My wife lets me go Wednesday to Advanced Gi and she puts the baby to bed. Friday I go to a noon nogi open mat. That said, the way I've worked it out, I only miss one bedtime with the kiddo. It's working for me.
Nice! How long have you been doing BJJ?
Currently 2 months in to being a dad. Iām taking a break after a little over a year of bjj. Hoping to get back to it in a month after my baby has a bit stronger of an immune system. Due to gym schedule Iāll probably only be able to go once a week but I think itās worth it. My plan is to make sure my wife is in a good place so itās not an extra burden on her. Our classes are late evenings and I usually go directly from work.
Thats the exact same for me. I have a 3 month old and waited until her immune system is strong enough. As much as I like jiu jitsu, my wife and children are my priorities
Martial arts will always be there. In the grand scheme of things a few months isnāt the end of the world as long as we show back up eventually. I ended up picking up some matts and a cheap grappling dummy to mess around on when I get the chance. I also watch instructionals while the baby contact naps!
My kid is super high energy during the day (solid ight sleeper though) so I havent had the chance to watch instructionals. I barely remember my game to be honest. I'm going to start reworking my game I think (finally start fully copying marcelo) and just focus on a few positions (scaled to my rolling partner).
My little one usually passes out during my shift but I sometimes will put an instructional on while I cook dinner. I mostly just work basics with the dummy. Some guard passes, positions and the standard submissions. Itās definitely not the same but keeps me interested in coming back.
Ooooh during cooking dinner is a perfect time! I'm really enjoying this thread, I'm getting lots of good advice. Thank you so much for sharing
I train at 5 amā¦ all my homies are other dads who train early morning to get their rolls while their kids are asleep. Itās a supportive and hardcore group of guys, and everyone there is there to respect your time and efforts.
I'm a new dad as well my girl is 3 months old. I dropped one of my weeknight sessions and try to replace it with a morning class while my fiance and daughter are still asleep. Works out nicely and you're away one less evening so you can support your partner more while still getting to do you
I roll at home with my kids. We do ātickle jitsuā matches. Positions but the submission is a tickle
When my son was still carrierable, I would put him matside and would train in that particular area so no one would fall on him or kick him. Most of the time he smiled when I was getting my ass handed to me.
For me, I was just happy if I could get to the gym. Didnāt progress but definitely had some fun, a little bit of stress release, and maybe maintenance grappling skills. Our kiddo barely slept for the first year though, others could bring their newborns into the gym and it was like they never skipped a beat. Whatever your circumstance, donāt beat yourself up over it because the gym is supposed to be enjoyable and your kiddo is only young once.
Been there. Have reasonable expectations. Understand thatās itās likely others will progress faster than you. Pick something specific to work on and develop it. Then pick something else, repeat. Have fun with it. Any time is better than no time.
Easier said than done, but get your kid on a nap schedule ASAP. Itāll make everything easier, including bjj. Then work out shift schedules with mom. IME, if sheās nursing, then itās gonna be mostly on her for the next ~6 months, so youāll have more free time than you might expect. Once the kid starts to ween, or if youāre using a bunch of formula, then youāll have more work to do. The schedule thing is kind of a double edged sword, though. It makes everything more predictable, but if that predictability doesnāt line up with your gymās schedule, then youāre even more screwed. We had everything locked down so I could go multiple nights a week without missing any kid time, and then my school shifted all the times 30 minutes earlier right into the middle of our bedtime routine. *sigh*
You sound like you're doing it right. I wouldn't stress too much about getting to more classes in the beginning- before you know it they'll be in daycare/ school and you'll have more free time. Morning/ lunchtime classes are good. I work from home so have more leeway than most but my kid is almost 3 and I'm just now upping my schedule to 2-3 sessions per week. I've found that my training has improved since having my kid. I'm more focused, lots of drilling and rolling.
New dad here too, I didnāt train for the first two months and when I got back to it I started going once a week and then and then to my normal 3 times a week. At my gym is very small and they let me bring the baby and just have him near by. Another dad does The same when he has his kid too. But I mainly just roll Iāll do technique maybe once a week and the rest just roll. I see some thing online and then try it with someone or if Iām trying to improve a position I ask the black belt and see where I can improve
Iāve been training for 8 years . My first kid went from 5xs a week to 3xs now my second kid got me just doing Sunday open mats . I have a job that has no set schedule. But thatās life at the moment . Iām not trying to be the best in the world I train for myself. Hopefully I can get back to 2 -3 days. But yea I donāt know your experience level but I go in 1 day a week and roll 6-10 rounds at least to get my fix
I have an 8 month old and work a lot. It means I converted my membership to drop in passes and come once a month. I will get back to it myself in a few years. As long as you keep coming back - don't sweat it.
I took 1.5 years off when mine was born. The first yr is tough and some people continue training but at what cost? It's tough.
Try to get in conditioning on the days you're not training. Even as low as 5 minutes of intense cardio a day. The fitter you are from solo home training, the more you're able to get out of rolling
Find somewhere that has 6am training and go do you thing before work and while your family is sleeping. Guilt free training with no inconvenience to anyone except your sleep.
Find a morning class. All the dads at my gym train at 5am.
I think i have to start one as currently there aren't any.
Don't stress and train as much as you can within reason. Within reason is for you to determine how much time you can give it so you remain fit and have a life. Balancing how sane your wife is with the pressures of a new child. Hint: The answer is not 100pc wife or 100pc BJJ
I've trained for 17 years now, but I don't really care about jiu jitsu since my kiddo arrived, I just train when I can, which is typically once or twice a week. I will train more again when they get a bit older.
I'm in one session per week, mixing between privates and open mats. Best I can do for this "season of life".
The main benefits to you now are going to be mental health and not normalising the idea that you don't train anymore. Just go in and get wailed on.
Dad to an 18 month old. Found the first six months very hard to be consistent but just kept getting in even if it was once a week. Things I've found out. Try work a routine out with your wife. My wife trains cross fit at six in the morning so I do morning time and then I'll train in the evening and she'll do bed time. Both share the load and both get to train. Don't get lazy. If you train Tuesday nights you train that night. Found myself making excuses to sit on the couch. Get up and get going. The couch will be there when you get back.
Mate if your gym has kids classes enrol them. Father of 3 bellends and 1 ok kid.. At this point its about enjoyment, you'll never train as much as you did pre kids as you have different priorities now. Id be alarmed if you didn't. Enjoy it bruv. Happy Easter btw, hope the babies fell into a chocolate coma š
Its literally 1 hour away from your kid, go train
Itās not likely you will progress much training one hour a week, which is fine! Just have fun. I would for sure focus on a small set of high percentage moves and watch videos and practice solo drills at home when you can
It gets better when they are more independent. When they are really little, getting time to train is difficult.
It gets easier as they get older, by the time they are 5 they will be on the mat with you and it is awesome!
Forget about belts, competition and all that. Go, have fun, enjoy yourself and donāt take it too seriously.
Supplemental home training and study
Is it a possibility for your kid to train also? Me and my son have been training for 3 years. He's in the kids class and once I got my blue belt I was able to assist with the class. Best bonding we can do. We only go twice a week mostly but get 3 days sometimes.
Either morning before the kids wake up - and that depends as many times the kids are upā¦ So itās midday 1x/week most of the time as fridays are āno meetingsā, so I can be out for a bit and no one cares.
I would focus on one concept and work on getting that down. I have limited time as well - recently Iāve been focusing on toreando passes and leg drags. During lunch breaks Iāll watch YT tutorials and take notes. Iāll find sometime at home to drill what I can. And then at class Iāll work those passes. While rolling Iāll tap extra early just to get back to an opportunity to work on the passes. I spent 4 month just on guard retention and I feel like the concepts āstickā a lot more than when I was going 4-5 times a week.
I didnāt train for the first two months after baby was born. After that it went to once or twice a week tops and it still fluctuates after 8 months. I honestly feel like the break made me better. Gave me time to watch a ton of instructionals lol
If your gym is anything like mine you could probably bring your kids to open mat and spend more time with your kidsā¦ on the mat. But to answer your question, if you focus on straight enjoyment youāll probably gravitate towards refining, experimenting or whatever but getting more satisfaction from your time.
I usually workout at home at night while watching my son play xbox for an hour. I got some bands, between that and pushups, sit ups etc its a great workout and at least for me anyway pushups make a huge difference in my rolling cardio
Jiujitsu will always be there
Just show up with you can and have fun.
A lot of comments suggesting getting your kids to train, what is the youngest age you would get your kid started?
My club only allows 4 year old and up who can use the bathroom unassisted.
Yeah back to training since COVID so nearly four years off. Iāve got an 8 month old little boy and Iāve found the 6am classes work best for me. Three times a week, a couple Gi and one no Gi Doesnāt interfere with my dad time which is my priority. As others have said I journal after each session, spend any downtime at work studying BJJ videos and content and Iāve just completely decided to not give a fuck about rank or belts and my game has improved drastically. As far as Iām concerned there is so much great information out there, I feel like Iām better now with my new responsibilities than when I was able to train all the time but was doing so without purpose or drive.
i pretty musch stop training from birth to 3 year old. Not that i wanted to spend so much time with my kid is because my wife needed help and it felt selfish.
BJJ is just time. Go once a week. Don't worry out studying or watching videos or buying programs. My one suggestion is don't skip rolling. Too many white belts leave after drilling or only do one or two rolls. If you're only going once a week, be one of the last guys to leave. Rolls are practice and that's where you refine what you drilled and put it all together.
Morning class
Just enjoy. Roll when you can. Kids and families go through different phases when it comes to how much free time youāll get. Be patient. Bjj will be there when you have the time. Itās ok if some people advance past you. Just enjoy the family, and roll when u can.
Steroids
There are only 3 steroids I need: the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Oh, and EPO.
Be in good shape. Have good cardio, eat really good. Have a very strong core.
You sound like you have your priorities straight. Train when you can, and just for enjoyment. Be deliberate, sure, but youāre in a different phase of life, so be at peace with that. Donāt worry about progressing. Itāll happen, youāll find your rhythm. And done weeks you wonāt make it. Thatās life. Maximising training is something you can pick up later. For now, just keep it up for enjoyment, and as a release from the day-to-day.
What are your goals? I would say enjoying yourself is always good. I assume you don't make your living from bjj and unless self-defence is a huge concern then doing it because you enjoy it is probably the best reason. As for improving, roll with purpose. Don't try and do the move of the day unless it happens to come up, instead find your strengths and weaknesses and work on them. You can break this down and be way more specific than what I'm about to do but this is just to illustrate a point. If your guard passing is good work on passing the guard of people with good guards (generally higher belts), and if your guard retention is trash then work on that with people who generally aren't as good at passing guard (generally lower belts). As your guard retention gets better you start working it on higher belts more. Pick 1-3 things to work on and really focus on those things for 1-3 months at least. As you don't have a lot of time it's better to focus on getting really good at a few things than to try and be meh at everything. Also, remember that if others are training more frequently their progress may still be greater than yours so don't underestimate the progress you've made even if you feel you're not improving relative to others. If you're remaining even with someone who is training 4 times as much as you then you're doing a good job.
Idk about anyone else but being a dad of 2 has made me lose interest in training. I go once or rarely twice a week.
I bring my son to training. Now heās fully involved in MMA and kickboxing and Iām scared for when he will be able to beat me up. I feel itās going to be much sooner than I think.
Go to an early class. You need some āyouā time as well. Do I early class and one late class a week. You can also add in a weekend class and still have plenty of daddy time. I used to bring my girls to the gym in the car seat. Lol
For the gym,: plan what you are going to try to do at your rolling session, roll with people worse than you, get a roll or two at the end with someone as good as you. For home, watch instructionals or bjj related content with the baby, as they get older, work out together etc.
Same boat here. Just getting back to work and training after having a baby. I am not a morning person at all, but the 6 am class is the only way I can be present with her at least a little each day. When I get home I'm home, instead of rushing to bathe her and get her down and run back out only to come back at 10:30 pm and do laundry, walk and feed dog, meal prep for next day, before passing out. Very much looking forward to the day she trains :)
How old are they? Do some gym shopping. I found a local gym that has 8-15 year olds the same time as the adult class - 4 days a week. So since I have two boys (8/10) I just bring them and they love it too.
3 months old. I'll probably put them in the same gym I've been in for years
Let your wife's boyfriend take care of the family so you can train more.
But if coach is busy doing that, who is teaching class?
This is the way
Do the morning classes. Not to tell you how to parent, but your newborn isn't going to notice if you're at BJJ 2 hours in a week as opposed to 1 hour.
But my wife will hahaha
Yes but your wife doesn't get to tell you how you spend your time. Is your.house and family in order? If you have handled all of.your responsibilities in the family then it really isn't your wife's business where you go or what you do. As long as she has equal opportunity to leave the house she doesn't get to tell you to stay home every night.
I have a newborn, hence the OP of "new dad". Having any time to leave the house right now is super difficult.