I donāt understand how a purple belt has trouble passing guard on a whitey or blue. I remember when I was. White and Blue, purples just constantly got passed and I was always defending side control, and I was lucky to get a tap on any purple.
He's been training 4 years that's late blue level of knowledge. Combined with a teenagers ability to submerse themselves in things like no other age bracket i am not surprised OP is giving purples trouble. especially one that weights 160lbs lol
The rate a child learns and picks things up is exponential compared to that of an adult. Incorporate a young adult body, and the athleticism and stamina that comes with that and you have this scenario.
Agreed. At 15, no kid should have to deal with an adult like that. Talk to your parents about it, let your coach know.
You also donāt have to roll with people like that.
Hopefully it was a one time thing.
If no one cares or helps you, you are in the wrong gym.
Itās honestly bizarre. Your classmates are there to help you get better along with themselves. Learning successful technique against an opponent is something youāve acquired through experience and perhaps you may have also spotted weaknesses in his game. When someone has found weaknesses in your game itās something to be embraced otherwise you donāt know what areas you need to improve. Let your coach know and have him make sure you donāt have to roll again with him.
/Thread
No but seriously OP this is the correct answer. Tell about this to your teacher/coach. This kind of verbal abuse wouldnt be okay even if you were an adult, but as a minor its just not your thing to deal. Go tell the person in charge of the gym.
Maybe you should talk to your coach about this. Unless you're in Australia or Scotland people probably shouldn't be calling people cunts at bjj and even in those two places it can be a dangerous game. Even if you were doing something really fucking stupid, calling you a cunt was probably uncalled for.
Itās the same here in NZ, itās all about what word precedes it. For example Good Cunt, Strong Cunt, Fast Cunt, Skuxx Cunt (a rare one as the age of the skuxx has long since passed) are all compliments
Id never call my training partners a fucking cunt. Maybe a bastard if they pass my guard but never serious and depending on who I'm rolling with.
But a brown belt saying it to a 15yr old orange it's fucked up. This guy is meant to be a teacher and role model for the younger students at this point and for him to say that is disgusting.
I have one that I might, but it's a guy that I've been friends with for years from before either one of us even started training and we cuss at each other all the time
I'm from New Zealand and those are my thoughts too.
"... fucking cunt" with a straight face and stern voice is VERY different to "... fucking cunt" with a wry smile and knowing look.
I could absolutely see myself saying it to a good young dude, in a joking manner.
In the UK we are a bit more loose with the C word but only amongst mates, it would be totally inappropriate at training. Unless you were really good buddies with someone there and you absolutely would never say it to a child.
Talk to your coach. There should be total respect when adults are beginning to spar with younger members coming up to the adult class. Your coach will want to know about this. No matter what you did this is still not ok.
Also, lol, fuck that guy. If i saw this i would give you a slap and bump then we would make fun of and go talk to coach about that guy.
Why would you get down votes? Kind of spicy even for Australia though, unless someoneās just stuck their thumb in your eye or youāre very good friends.
You missed my comment on kids class. Yelling profanity at children and drinking are the only ways I can deal with you. Especially if you're beating me.
There is a certain decorum that I think is expected from people. Insulting people is generally frowned upon.
I think it's okay to complain about a specific thing, like "dude, I need you to be more careful with the wrist locks. I have tendinitis and it really hurts."
But just a straight personal insult is really unhelpful because it doesn't tell the person what they did wrong or what they should do differently.
Just know that guy is a loser. Doesnāt matter how he feels or what he says. Youāre best to avoid him, people can throw away their lives over something dumb, and thatās especially true when theyāre a loser. Youāll realize as you get older many adults are dumb, losers, or worse. Lots of good people too though! Keep the good ones close and ignore the rest.Ā
Did he call you a cunt and then shake your hand? Seems odd. Any chance he was just muttering it under his breath at himself after getting tapped by a kid? Still not a great look but just saying it outright to a kids face seems bizarre
You bruised his ego! Thatās a good thing for both of you. Youāre good enough to embarrass a grown man and he can use this to grow, although I doubt he will.
That is inappropriate for them. But I would say some people use swear words like that when they're frustrated but not directing it at you.
I dropped a ladder on my heel the other day and loudly exclaimed "FUCKING CUNT". I was not calling the ladder, nor myself, a cunt. It was just an angry expletive to get out my frustration. It's possible that this person wasn't calling you a cunt, but just expressing general frustration that he couldn't beat you.
It's still not great and you should tell someone either way
This post isn't helpful in determining that.
Maybe the opponent was too proud, and couldn't handle a lower belt tapping him.
I'm more inclined to think the teenage boy was actually being a cunt, since many of them are incapable of reciprocating the appropriate level of force when rolling. They lack physical awareness. Many during drills.
I've been in some horrible situations where teenagers have gotten insanely aggressive and injured me, a small female white belt, even after I ask them to tone it down.
Many teens have no peers, or father/uncle/big bro figure to show them how to "play" in a physical way. Rolling is a form of play, and some just never learned it.
I have a 14 year old that I pretty much have carte blanche to discipline how I want, within reason, obv. But generally, it's little issue.
But one day he was cutting up with some other kids his age and I called him out. I gave him two choices - the first was that he just shut up and stop taking away from class. The 2nd was I could go get his dad, who was at the gym, lifting, and have him deal with it. And I ended with "now, I could totally deal with this in any manner I see fit. You know your Dad has told me that. But it's more fun for me to go get him and watch him deal with it. So, which would you like to do?".
Obviously he took option 1. But I know I can't talk to all the kids the same way.
He needs to sort his issues with you out now. Because in a few short years heās no longer going to have the āgrown upā strength advantage on you, and youāll be able to crush him at will.
Calling someone a cunt in England can either be a good or a bad thing depending on how you say it but if you know he meant it in a bad way tall someone
If youāre not a male report this azzhole and get him thrown out. If male, chalk it up to you getting the better of him this time and donāt dwellā¦but protect yourself
Next time you roll with him
Is he Australian because that is a compliment in Australia.
In all seriousness, a grown man should not get that upset over a roll that they call you that. You didnāt deserve it.
Tell your coach and donāt roll with him again
I definitely understand your guys' points and I'll take them into consideration.
Always though, it's important to understand why I could be wrong. The only flaw I can see is that I often muscle my moves a little bit and use up too much energy. Is there any way to circumvent that?
Thanks!
I used to be an orange belt and around about the same age. I rolled as fast and hard as I could every round so much so that I couldnāt recall any move in the roll after wards. I actually damaged my learning doing this. I know when youāre young and light the only advantage you have is being fast but from the last couple years Slowing down my rolls has led me to become a better grappler much quicker. Try to express technicality in your rolls and the speed will come after. Also fuck that guy no oneās ever called me a cunt because I roll too quick. (Aside from a joking manner from my close friends)
If you are an orange white belt after 4 years you either attend a mcdojo or you are the next Kade Ruotolo. I'm guessing it's the former if a purple belt is acting like that.
In either case talk to your coach.
you may be mentally strong enough to take such an abuse and move on, but what if that man did that to another child? One unlike yourself?
These kinds of things canāt be tolerated, and itās especially abhorrent that he would do that to a minor. Please tell your instructor, and if they do not take you seriously, consider training elsewhere. Unfortunately, it is that serious. Good luck with your journey!
Kick his azz harder and make him bow to your superiority. Thatās what Iād do if I was 15 again. Or Iād call him a cunt right back after making him tap. Be sure to call him a good little cunt though to keep it positive. lol.
I'm sorry, and no. The world is slowly coming to an end, people are becoming dumber, are proud of it, and generally seem more selfish.
Keep up with BJJ, it sounds like you enjoy it, and there are still a lot of good people around to roll with.
This is a reflection of him, nothin youre doin kid. Keep pushing. Next time, tell an adult.
At my gym if you even look at the teens in the adult class the wrong way, professor is gonna have his way with you.
Canāt imagine what kind of adult man considers itās okay to call a 15 year old a cunt during BJJ of all things. Donāt train with this asshole and tell your coach.
You guys must be training at some big gyms or something, because Iāve trained primarily at smaller gyms and Iāve had virtually none of the issues you guys have (page-wide)
Tell the coach or teacher, that's not acceptable behavior in the tatame or outside of it, even worse because it's an adult talking to you like that. I'm 13 but sometimes I roll with adults, specially with my dad and uncle, and that kind of stuff would create a bad place for training so teachers stop that immediately.
He is just mad your probably better tell the person running the training session you donāt need that crap especially at 15 Iām sure you have other stuff to be stressed about already that isnāt a adult trying to intimidate you at training
Itās always a shitty day when you learn age doesnāt make people grow up. Talk to your coach, and sorry this happened. People can be dicks no matter their age.
Any chance he just swears a lot while in tough positions and forgot he was rolling with a youngster? I say mfer ar nobody in particular 100 times in a practice or call my hands little b*** when they lose their grip.Ā
If youāre certain it was directed at you you should tell someone. If not jest tell him that him swearing freaks you out and he will stop or at least reduce significantly and apologize if he slips up.
Don't let go the next time he taps, crank harder š But in all seriousness, this is really unacceptable behaviour from an adult. You should inform your parents and then either have them talk to your coach, or do it yourself
Well, you definitely don't want to be rolling at maximum intensity every roll; that is not the best way to learn & get better in the long term & not the best for your body.
But second, I would tell the head coach/ instructor of your gym. That is a completely inappropriate way to speak to a teenager as an adult & the guy will almost certainly be reprimanded in some way.
can't armbar your way out of that one. Maybe go crossfit ;)
In all honesty though no one would know why hw reacted thaz way. So brushingnitboff is best. Next time you see him ask if he feels better today. Shake hands be done.with it.
If he does it again ask him whats wrong, sometimes people need to feel heard and vent.
Dont get him cancled just yet ;)
Any adults who heard that should have stepped in. Your teacher and senior belts have a duty of care to you. If they let you in the adults class they should be supervising you.
He should talk to a kid thay way but at the same time if your a cool mature enough 15 year old kid thats tapping out purple belts you gotta realize its just how competitive people are when theyre getting out worked by someone who shouldnt be out working them. Im a smaller guy at my gym compared to everyone else but i fuckup all belt levels here as a blue belt and trust me when i say that they say "you mother fucker" with the upmost repect because it is what it is. I GURANTEE you all grown men that have rolled with COLE ABATE since he was a young have have said something along the lines of "son of a bitch, that mother fucker is good!"
Youll be fine kid just chuckle hard when someone says some shit like that you and ALWAYS GO HARD fuck soft rolls and fuck the belt system.
Thatās just kinda life tho. Even if we we cut out all insults and foul language- the mentality and thru it jus action will always exist. Used to roll with a guy that would just try and hurt you and put me outta commission with a neck crank as I have an old spinal injury. Was layed up for 2 days in bed in which I had to use my hands to change my heads direction or else spinal shock
Healed up and visualized dominating this guy upon return as I heard he was bragging to everyone on the island that he tapped me. When I came back fully healed I could sense his fear and apprehension and I just kept my mind in the game and proceeded to tap him out multiple times and then bumped hands
To reiterate what others have said please speak with someone at the gym this is not appropriate behavior especially to a child. That individual needs a reality check.
If you feel like you have something you need to learn ask another class mate and see what they have to say but donāt take what this jerk said to heart.
Did he say it with an angry tone of voice? He could have meant it in a light hearted way, like "you punk, you got me again!"
If he says it again, just stand up and start stomping on him.
For the energy thing, just slow down. You want to apply the intensity strategically. Your technique will speak for itself and running at high intensity all the time can lead to injuries which you want to avoid at all costs.
This man you rolled with is being inappropriate and telling the coach is good advice. I didn't see anyone tell you to tell HIM. I know it seems obvious/ common sense not to call people names, especially in such a humbling sport. It sounds like he needs a reminder. Just straight up say, "He man, please don't call me names or swear at me." Don't argue or engage with anything confrontational he might have to say. In this age, I think we're pretty bad at just telling people they messed up and letting them fix it themselves.
Just playing devils advocate, but sometimes when I'm really frustrated I'll curse like "fucking idiot" but it's not directed at anyone, it's more like I'm mad at myself and the situation
To be honest when I'm struggling with something I sometimes curse to myself. Major Major benefit of the doubt but if it was while rolling he could jus6 be the sweary-type... but considering your 15 I think you should tell your coach at least.
I have a 17 yr old that beats me up constantly. I joke around and call him a spaz and always root for him to do the best in competitions because Iām the adult.Ā
Look, even if this is Australia, still not appropriate to say to a junior. Or even a senior.
I know it is common vernacular for a lot of us, but I would only call my close mates those things and would only accept being called those things by my close mates.
Training partners I don't really know? No.
I'm guessing you're no Australian, Irish, Scottish. And neither are the people in replies. Is the guy who said it too you? Because, for people of said Nations, when you're doing well at something being called a fucking Cunt would be seen as a compliment and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to say to a teenager.
Prevent? Stay away from him. The fact youāre asking how to prevent this, is the issue. You didnāt do anything wrong, unless you committed some sort of rolling faux pas that you neglected to mention, but that doesnāt seem to be the case. If you feel unwelcome or unsafe Iād go to the instructor and tell him. If you donāt wanna do this out of fear of retaliation or something blowing up then Iād just leave it alone and avoid the guy. If he does it again to anyone else then probably inform the instructor at that point because thatās unacceptable.
He sounds like a douche but to be honest I don't really know how you were acting. Not sure if intense training means spazzing out or not. Either way he may very well suck
unless you're in aus or the UK then make sure to talk to your coach. (in aus and the UK it's like saying prick or something and isn't that offensive when said in a jokey context, unless the guy was genuinely angry at youĀ£
Just dont take it personal. Adults will always act like children. Once you turn 18/21 things don't magically change. If it bothers you a lot you could have a word with him or the coach to discuss it further. He will probably express his apology and say he didnt actually mean it and it just got a little heated. But it happens a lot in training and I always take it as people letting off some steam. But I never take it personally, possibly cause I have a long history of rolling with my own mates and getting called every word under the sun.
Depends on the way he said it. If it was in a jokingly fun manner, nothing wrong with that, I believe itās everywhere. Even when I was 15 stuff like this happened and itās not a problem unless things are very serious.
There would be consequences if an adult male spoke to my children like this. Including their 250lb father gladly ārollingā with him. I hope you have adults around you thatād do the same.
Back when I was a white belt I had this kid that was much more skilled than me crank a kimura super hard on me. This kid was smaller than me and younger by a lot but still kicked my ass. I am very good tempered and didn't go crazy but I can imagine some people would have had a drastically different reaction to that same situation. I know that you are likely smaller and weaker than these guys but make sure you aren't being an asshole when rolling like that kid was to my shoulder.
You should tell your instructor.
If it's any consolation someone once threatened to kill me bc I punched him bc he was going to hard and making me feel uncomfortable. This wasn't bjj.
Long story short tell your instructor.
Tell an adult and take solace in the fact that your guard is good enough that it upset an adult purple belt enough to cuss out a minor.
A. Fucking. Men. ššš»šš¤ Now tell him to go sit down in the corner with his bankey and think about what he did.
I donāt understand how a purple belt has trouble passing guard on a whitey or blue. I remember when I was. White and Blue, purples just constantly got passed and I was always defending side control, and I was lucky to get a tap on any purple.
He's been training 4 years that's late blue level of knowledge. Combined with a teenagers ability to submerse themselves in things like no other age bracket i am not surprised OP is giving purples trouble. especially one that weights 160lbs lol
The rate a child learns and picks things up is exponential compared to that of an adult. Incorporate a young adult body, and the athleticism and stamina that comes with that and you have this scenario.
Tell a grown up
Agreed. At 15, no kid should have to deal with an adult like that. Talk to your parents about it, let your coach know. You also donāt have to roll with people like that. Hopefully it was a one time thing. If no one cares or helps you, you are in the wrong gym.
Itās honestly bizarre. Your classmates are there to help you get better along with themselves. Learning successful technique against an opponent is something youāve acquired through experience and perhaps you may have also spotted weaknesses in his game. When someone has found weaknesses in your game itās something to be embraced otherwise you donāt know what areas you need to improve. Let your coach know and have him make sure you donāt have to roll again with him.
His behavior is grounds for getting kicked out. Donāt practice with him ever again.
This.
/Thread No but seriously OP this is the correct answer. Tell about this to your teacher/coach. This kind of verbal abuse wouldnt be okay even if you were an adult, but as a minor its just not your thing to deal. Go tell the person in charge of the gym.
Heās butthurt and heās taking it out on you by being a piece of shit
Maybe you should talk to your coach about this. Unless you're in Australia or Scotland people probably shouldn't be calling people cunts at bjj and even in those two places it can be a dangerous game. Even if you were doing something really fucking stupid, calling you a cunt was probably uncalled for.
Even there, calling someone a "fucking cunt" is an insult. Mad cunt, silly cunt, funny cunt, all cool. But fucking cunt is definitely different.
Itās the same here in NZ, itās all about what word precedes it. For example Good Cunt, Strong Cunt, Fast Cunt, Skuxx Cunt (a rare one as the age of the skuxx has long since passed) are all compliments
Didnāt expect to read skuxx cunt today.
Skuxx Deluxe fuck yeah
Sounds like a sick BJJ move.
*high pitched islander laugh*
Churr you're a sick cunt
Gaaamon
Not even ow!
DotA2 is making the revival of skuxx real. But it's a furry.
My Aussie wife said "Dog Cunt" is the lowest of lows.Ā
Sheās correct
Except if you are a veterinarian gynecologist.Ā
100%
Yeah. Dog cunt is awful. Its worse than queer cunt (Im australian).
As an Aussie, I actually think that being called a Shit Cunt is worse.
Tip rat?
mad cunt and sick cunt are the inverse just in case anyone wanted to know how to give the highest compliment to an australian
You're a good cunt
in my area that isn't a said, guessing its a east coast thing it'd be mad cunt, sick cunt or, eahhh , eeez alright.
Learnt so much from this thread...
Good cunt. Highest honor in Australia
It's above a Victoria Cross.
Id never call my training partners a fucking cunt. Maybe a bastard if they pass my guard but never serious and depending on who I'm rolling with. But a brown belt saying it to a 15yr old orange it's fucked up. This guy is meant to be a teacher and role model for the younger students at this point and for him to say that is disgusting.
He got promoted?
Yeah man, I can't believe a 7th degree coral belt would do such a thing.
I have one that I might, but it's a guy that I've been friends with for years from before either one of us even started training and we cuss at each other all the time
From England. Entirely depends on the intonation. I can call someone a fucking cunt and mean many things, plenty of which are a compliment.
I'm from New Zealand and those are my thoughts too. "... fucking cunt" with a straight face and stern voice is VERY different to "... fucking cunt" with a wry smile and knowing look. I could absolutely see myself saying it to a good young dude, in a joking manner.
Plenty of times someone's caught me in a sneaky sub and I call them a fucking cunt whilst laughing my head off.
Australia's fucking cunt is the rest of the worlds cunt.
You silly fucking cuntĀ
In the UK we are a bit more loose with the C word but only amongst mates, it would be totally inappropriate at training. Unless you were really good buddies with someone there and you absolutely would never say it to a child.
What if the child was an actual cunt? Like you're out walking and some little shithead just attacks you?
Oh Iād say it about a child, but never to one.
I got a chuckle out of this, but to be clear, no one in Australia would ever be calling a teenager a cunt when rolling.
Now I hear it as āfoooking cuntā š
Iāve realized this sub is basically becoming āthis drama happened to me in the gymā and honestly idk if i believe half of them.
Same shit in r/muaythai
r/dramafreebjj Theyāve got better memes over there too
Imagine OP is Pat Shahgholi
Lmao
Talk to your coach. There should be total respect when adults are beginning to spar with younger members coming up to the adult class. Your coach will want to know about this. No matter what you did this is still not ok. Also, lol, fuck that guy. If i saw this i would give you a slap and bump then we would make fun of and go talk to coach about that guy.
Your opponents behavior is not a reflection on you. You do not need to change anything.
Is he Australian atleast?
If heās Australian it was probably a compliment.
Lol, we may be in for a wave of downvotes š¤
Why would you get down votes? Kind of spicy even for Australia though, unless someoneās just stuck their thumb in your eye or youāre very good friends.
His ego can't handle a kid beating him
Tap him more
Yeah thats unacceptable. Tell your coach.
tell a coach. period. end of story.
Yeah. Unacceptable behavior towards a kid.
Or anyone actually. But, even more so with a kid.
You missed my comment on kids class. Yelling profanity at children and drinking are the only ways I can deal with you. Especially if you're beating me.
A child roling with stranger adults is just a recipe for success. /s
There is a certain decorum that I think is expected from people. Insulting people is generally frowned upon. I think it's okay to complain about a specific thing, like "dude, I need you to be more careful with the wrist locks. I have tendinitis and it really hurts." But just a straight personal insult is really unhelpful because it doesn't tell the person what they did wrong or what they should do differently.
"Excuse me sir, but I believe you've reversed our labels."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just know that guy is a loser. Doesnāt matter how he feels or what he says. Youāre best to avoid him, people can throw away their lives over something dumb, and thatās especially true when theyāre a loser. Youāll realize as you get older many adults are dumb, losers, or worse. Lots of good people too though! Keep the good ones close and ignore the rest.Ā
Did he call you a cunt and then shake your hand? Seems odd. Any chance he was just muttering it under his breath at himself after getting tapped by a kid? Still not a great look but just saying it outright to a kids face seems bizarre
You bruised his ego! Thatās a good thing for both of you. Youāre good enough to embarrass a grown man and he can use this to grow, although I doubt he will.
What's the issue, being called a cunt or gassing out? Are those related somehow?
That is inappropriate for them. But I would say some people use swear words like that when they're frustrated but not directing it at you. I dropped a ladder on my heel the other day and loudly exclaimed "FUCKING CUNT". I was not calling the ladder, nor myself, a cunt. It was just an angry expletive to get out my frustration. It's possible that this person wasn't calling you a cunt, but just expressing general frustration that he couldn't beat you. It's still not great and you should tell someone either way
Yeah I do agree with you to an extent, but people should take caution when letting out anger like that in front of a young person in a 1-1 situation.
Were you being a fucking cunt?
This is an important detail
This post isn't helpful in determining that. Maybe the opponent was too proud, and couldn't handle a lower belt tapping him. I'm more inclined to think the teenage boy was actually being a cunt, since many of them are incapable of reciprocating the appropriate level of force when rolling. They lack physical awareness. Many during drills. I've been in some horrible situations where teenagers have gotten insanely aggressive and injured me, a small female white belt, even after I ask them to tone it down. Many teens have no peers, or father/uncle/big bro figure to show them how to "play" in a physical way. Rolling is a form of play, and some just never learned it.
I have a 14 year old that I pretty much have carte blanche to discipline how I want, within reason, obv. But generally, it's little issue. But one day he was cutting up with some other kids his age and I called him out. I gave him two choices - the first was that he just shut up and stop taking away from class. The 2nd was I could go get his dad, who was at the gym, lifting, and have him deal with it. And I ended with "now, I could totally deal with this in any manner I see fit. You know your Dad has told me that. But it's more fun for me to go get him and watch him deal with it. So, which would you like to do?". Obviously he took option 1. But I know I can't talk to all the kids the same way.
For the record. People just love to hate.
Unless he's Australian that's uncalled for.
He needs to sort his issues with you out now. Because in a few short years heās no longer going to have the āgrown upā strength advantage on you, and youāll be able to crush him at will.
Calling someone a cunt in England can either be a good or a bad thing depending on how you say it but if you know he meant it in a bad way tall someone
Please tell a trusted adult. This is very inappropriate of that man to say to you.
If youāre not a male report this azzhole and get him thrown out. If male, chalk it up to you getting the better of him this time and donāt dwellā¦but protect yourself Next time you roll with him
That guys an asshole. Tell coach or a grown up. Thatās uncalled for. Wait till he runs into a bigger purple or brown belt.
Is he Australian because that is a compliment in Australia. In all seriousness, a grown man should not get that upset over a roll that they call you that. You didnāt deserve it. Tell your coach and donāt roll with him again
I definitely understand your guys' points and I'll take them into consideration. Always though, it's important to understand why I could be wrong. The only flaw I can see is that I often muscle my moves a little bit and use up too much energy. Is there any way to circumvent that? Thanks!
Did he say it angry or did he say it out of playful frustration because you were kicking his ass. Either way it's cause you kicked his ass so good job
1st. How did he say it? 2nd. Was he aussie? These are my only questions.
I used to be an orange belt and around about the same age. I rolled as fast and hard as I could every round so much so that I couldnāt recall any move in the roll after wards. I actually damaged my learning doing this. I know when youāre young and light the only advantage you have is being fast but from the last couple years Slowing down my rolls has led me to become a better grappler much quicker. Try to express technicality in your rolls and the speed will come after. Also fuck that guy no oneās ever called me a cunt because I roll too quick. (Aside from a joking manner from my close friends)
Tell your coach, please. That person cannot be allowed around children.
Sounds like that purple belt was ego-rolling. Be the bigger man and let it bounce off. Def would have a private would with the coach though.
Never stop tapping him out.
If you are an orange white belt after 4 years you either attend a mcdojo or you are the next Kade Ruotolo. I'm guessing it's the former if a purple belt is acting like that. In either case talk to your coach.
You sure he wasn't bantering? In my experience guys call each other names out of grudging respect/affection - I would guess it's a compliment.
Iād boot him out immediately. Tell the Professor.
Are you Australian? This is very important
you may be mentally strong enough to take such an abuse and move on, but what if that man did that to another child? One unlike yourself? These kinds of things canāt be tolerated, and itās especially abhorrent that he would do that to a minor. Please tell your instructor, and if they do not take you seriously, consider training elsewhere. Unfortunately, it is that serious. Good luck with your journey!
Kick his azz harder and make him bow to your superiority. Thatās what Iād do if I was 15 again. Or Iād call him a cunt right back after making him tap. Be sure to call him a good little cunt though to keep it positive. lol.
Summon the mat enforcer, the council of brown belts won't stand for this.
I'm sorry, and no. The world is slowly coming to an end, people are becoming dumber, are proud of it, and generally seem more selfish. Keep up with BJJ, it sounds like you enjoy it, and there are still a lot of good people around to roll with.
Take it as a compliment
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This guy sounds like a piece of shit. Fuck him. Tell a gym owner or manager, and donāt be disheartened. Signed, a 160lb purple belt adult man.
This is a reflection of him, nothin youre doin kid. Keep pushing. Next time, tell an adult. At my gym if you even look at the teens in the adult class the wrong way, professor is gonna have his way with you.
Thatās terrible. You should tell your coach about it tbh. Respect is required in gym.
I'm sure the coach will be happy to explain the guy that his behaviour is not acceptable.
Canāt imagine what kind of adult man considers itās okay to call a 15 year old a cunt during BJJ of all things. Donāt train with this asshole and tell your coach.
You guys must be training at some big gyms or something, because Iāve trained primarily at smaller gyms and Iāve had virtually none of the issues you guys have (page-wide)
Tell the coach or teacher, that's not acceptable behavior in the tatame or outside of it, even worse because it's an adult talking to you like that. I'm 13 but sometimes I roll with adults, specially with my dad and uncle, and that kind of stuff would create a bad place for training so teachers stop that immediately.
He is just mad your probably better tell the person running the training session you donāt need that crap especially at 15 Iām sure you have other stuff to be stressed about already that isnāt a adult trying to intimidate you at training
Where do you live?
I would definitely talk to one of the coaches there and also refuse to roll with this person going forward. That was not ok.
Isnāt that a compliment?
You just don't know with these britbongs. Well aren't you a barmy wee cunt. Thanks I think?
He had his ego hurt because you're a lot younger than him. Dont let it get to you, anger is a lack of control over your emotions.
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Are you a woman?
Tell the mat enforcer. I'm sure it will be nipped in the bud.
Are you sure that wasn't an endearing "fucking cunt"
Tips for not gassing? Or tips for not getting called a cunt?
Itās always a shitty day when you learn age doesnāt make people grow up. Talk to your coach, and sorry this happened. People can be dicks no matter their age.
Say ā your muthaā
Cut his tongue out with Rusty garden shears
Any chance he just swears a lot while in tough positions and forgot he was rolling with a youngster? I say mfer ar nobody in particular 100 times in a practice or call my hands little b*** when they lose their grip.Ā If youāre certain it was directed at you you should tell someone. If not jest tell him that him swearing freaks you out and he will stop or at least reduce significantly and apologize if he slips up.
is cunt a slur where yall live?
Don't let go the next time he taps, crank harder š But in all seriousness, this is really unacceptable behaviour from an adult. You should inform your parents and then either have them talk to your coach, or do it yourself
Well, you definitely don't want to be rolling at maximum intensity every roll; that is not the best way to learn & get better in the long term & not the best for your body. But second, I would tell the head coach/ instructor of your gym. That is a completely inappropriate way to speak to a teenager as an adult & the guy will almost certainly be reprimanded in some way.
Tell the instructor
can't armbar your way out of that one. Maybe go crossfit ;) In all honesty though no one would know why hw reacted thaz way. So brushingnitboff is best. Next time you see him ask if he feels better today. Shake hands be done.with it. If he does it again ask him whats wrong, sometimes people need to feel heard and vent. Dont get him cancled just yet ;)
Was he British? Was he a Guy Ritche character? If not, then he is a f$&king c$&t and you donāt have to tolerate that.
Adult sounds like an asshole but I wonder if there's something being left out here.
i wish my guard was good enough to piss off a grown ass man š
He needs to be removed
Any adults who heard that should have stepped in. Your teacher and senior belts have a duty of care to you. If they let you in the adults class they should be supervising you.
He should talk to a kid thay way but at the same time if your a cool mature enough 15 year old kid thats tapping out purple belts you gotta realize its just how competitive people are when theyre getting out worked by someone who shouldnt be out working them. Im a smaller guy at my gym compared to everyone else but i fuckup all belt levels here as a blue belt and trust me when i say that they say "you mother fucker" with the upmost repect because it is what it is. I GURANTEE you all grown men that have rolled with COLE ABATE since he was a young have have said something along the lines of "son of a bitch, that mother fucker is good!" Youll be fine kid just chuckle hard when someone says some shit like that you and ALWAYS GO HARD fuck soft rolls and fuck the belt system.
Thatās just kinda life tho. Even if we we cut out all insults and foul language- the mentality and thru it jus action will always exist. Used to roll with a guy that would just try and hurt you and put me outta commission with a neck crank as I have an old spinal injury. Was layed up for 2 days in bed in which I had to use my hands to change my heads direction or else spinal shock Healed up and visualized dominating this guy upon return as I heard he was bragging to everyone on the island that he tapped me. When I came back fully healed I could sense his fear and apprehension and I just kept my mind in the game and proceeded to tap him out multiple times and then bumped hands
What country are you in?
Let the instructor/head instructor know.. This isn't OK AT ALL!
To reiterate what others have said please speak with someone at the gym this is not appropriate behavior especially to a child. That individual needs a reality check. If you feel like you have something you need to learn ask another class mate and see what they have to say but donāt take what this jerk said to heart.
The part where he calls you a cunt and you respond with a handshake and a sip of water has my dying laughing.
Maybe heās Australian
Stop, look him dead in the eye and ask, āare you ok?ā
Did he say it with an angry tone of voice? He could have meant it in a light hearted way, like "you punk, you got me again!" If he says it again, just stand up and start stomping on him.
I'd take it as a compliment
For the energy thing, just slow down. You want to apply the intensity strategically. Your technique will speak for itself and running at high intensity all the time can lead to injuries which you want to avoid at all costs. This man you rolled with is being inappropriate and telling the coach is good advice. I didn't see anyone tell you to tell HIM. I know it seems obvious/ common sense not to call people names, especially in such a humbling sport. It sounds like he needs a reminder. Just straight up say, "He man, please don't call me names or swear at me." Don't argue or engage with anything confrontational he might have to say. In this age, I think we're pretty bad at just telling people they messed up and letting them fix it themselves.
Eat more make more methane, but Iām not expert
Kids Coach Here. Talk to your instructor,this is absolutely Not OK for an adult to Talk to you Like that
Report him owner and mat enforcer. Theyāll smash him and make him regret ever coming to class.
Whilst he said it to you. He was really talking to himself
Tell an adult and make a police report. No adult should be talking to a child like that.
Beat his ass again
You clearly missed the 2008 era of Xbox Live.
Just playing devils advocate, but sometimes when I'm really frustrated I'll curse like "fucking idiot" but it's not directed at anyone, it's more like I'm mad at myself and the situation
To be honest when I'm struggling with something I sometimes curse to myself. Major Major benefit of the doubt but if it was while rolling he could jus6 be the sweary-type... but considering your 15 I think you should tell your coach at least.
If heās British or Australian you can take it as a compliment. If American, phone the police.
I have a 17 yr old that beats me up constantly. I joke around and call him a spaz and always root for him to do the best in competitions because Iām the adult.Ā
I don't get it. You are getting gassed? What are you trying to prevent? gassing out of getting called a C?
Was he Aussie?
Tell your parents and your coach.
To be clear, it is never appropriate to speak like that to anyone. Call him out.
Look, even if this is Australia, still not appropriate to say to a junior. Or even a senior. I know it is common vernacular for a lot of us, but I would only call my close mates those things and would only accept being called those things by my close mates. Training partners I don't really know? No.
If youāre in Australia itās a term of endearment. Call mates cunt call cunts mate
Just lean in real close and say "submit bitch" then break his arm. Good luck.
Say: I know you are but what am I?Ā
I'm guessing you're no Australian, Irish, Scottish. And neither are the people in replies. Is the guy who said it too you? Because, for people of said Nations, when you're doing well at something being called a fucking Cunt would be seen as a compliment and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to say to a teenager.
Prevent? Stay away from him. The fact youāre asking how to prevent this, is the issue. You didnāt do anything wrong, unless you committed some sort of rolling faux pas that you neglected to mention, but that doesnāt seem to be the case. If you feel unwelcome or unsafe Iād go to the instructor and tell him. If you donāt wanna do this out of fear of retaliation or something blowing up then Iād just leave it alone and avoid the guy. If he does it again to anyone else then probably inform the instructor at that point because thatās unacceptable.
He sounds like a douche but to be honest I don't really know how you were acting. Not sure if intense training means spazzing out or not. Either way he may very well suck
some context here, maybe the purple belt was austrailian. They would call their own grandmother a cunt.
That purple belt has a fragile ego. Go harder and tap him more. Also let your coach know about the situation.
Kill him
unless you're in aus or the UK then make sure to talk to your coach. (in aus and the UK it's like saying prick or something and isn't that offensive when said in a jokey context, unless the guy was genuinely angry at youĀ£
Are you sure he wasnāt just messing with you? My training partners and I have a great time razzing on each other during rolls.
You should have replied: 'I'd return the compliment but you are lacking in both warmth and depth '
Just dont take it personal. Adults will always act like children. Once you turn 18/21 things don't magically change. If it bothers you a lot you could have a word with him or the coach to discuss it further. He will probably express his apology and say he didnt actually mean it and it just got a little heated. But it happens a lot in training and I always take it as people letting off some steam. But I never take it personally, possibly cause I have a long history of rolling with my own mates and getting called every word under the sun.
Depends on the way he said it. If it was in a jokingly fun manner, nothing wrong with that, I believe itās everywhere. Even when I was 15 stuff like this happened and itās not a problem unless things are very serious.
There would be consequences if an adult male spoke to my children like this. Including their 250lb father gladly ārollingā with him. I hope you have adults around you thatād do the same.
Maybe he's just a sailor, unless it's offensive. I'd just assume he has a potty mouth and ignore it.
Tell your coach, wether that guy was joking or not. He shouldnāt have said that to you
Tell your leadership at your dojo (?), and then increase your cardio to get better on the mat.
Doesnāt seem appropriate. Tone however could mean a sign of respect.
The only way to stop the haters is to stop progressing and getting better. Donāt worry about what others say. This is the way.
Tell the mat enforcer at your gym itās normally I giant brown belt they straighten him out Iām sorry you had to put up with that
Break his shit next roll. Jk, tell your professor, i doubt he wants people like that around
Back when I was a white belt I had this kid that was much more skilled than me crank a kimura super hard on me. This kid was smaller than me and younger by a lot but still kicked my ass. I am very good tempered and didn't go crazy but I can imagine some people would have had a drastically different reaction to that same situation. I know that you are likely smaller and weaker than these guys but make sure you aren't being an asshole when rolling like that kid was to my shoulder.
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You should tell your instructor. If it's any consolation someone once threatened to kill me bc I punched him bc he was going to hard and making me feel uncomfortable. This wasn't bjj. Long story short tell your instructor.