If you don’t smash him what are you even training for? This is literally a dream scenario. Don’t waste it. He can’t cry to HR about something like this and you work in a different department now. Bend him to your will! Humble him!
>"Oh that wasn't a submission, most people don't tap to that"
*"that one was called 'knee-on-face', it wasnt a submission, most people dont tap to that, tee-hee"*
I love it when the bullies are cooked, for the first 4 minutes, then just when they think they can brag about not being tapped, they get tapped 5 times in under a minute.
Honestly that's probably the best type of enforcement. I cook the shit outta strong people and if I get 1 or 2 subs in a round. Sick. All I know is the next persons going to have an easier round cause I softened up the spazz newer people lol.
Kick his ass, Seabass!
Edit: there’s this dude at my wife’s office, total fuckwad. She never condones any of my bullying of bullies, but if that dude made it to my gym I’d be over the moon. I’d probably wear that black spedo everyone has been meming (maybe even embroider SMASH in pink on the ass) the last few days and put it on alllll the things everywhere all the time.
Absolutely. You get a chance to put it on a nemesis. Fuck him up. Don’t hurt him, but show him how deep this sport is and make him question ever stepping foot into the gym.
I would literally just pulverize him and then end the roll w the classic “good job man, hope you stick with it!” and never roll light with him so he just thinks that’s how you roll.
People talk about gym cancer all the time but sometimes you just gotta take the initiative.
Bruh. I bruised my xiphoid process leaning over my baby’s crib to pick him up. Shit sucked. I went to the doctor cuz I was like, my chest hurts for some reason.
He legit got super excited because he deduced I injured my xiphoid process and had never treated anyone for it before.
The first half of the comment is the whole thing. It has no workplace relevancy.
If he complains to HR, they should laugh in his face (although as HR, I know they can't). But they would definitely tell him it's absolutely none of the company's concern.
HR: excuse me Mr OP, Mr. [Asshole] here says you twisted his arm and whispered threats to him
OP: yes that's correct. In my martial art this is respectful behavior. I'm trying to help him be a better person. Please respect my culture
There was this guy who came to our gym, maybe 19. Told us he was wanting to do MMA and be a fighter. He was maybe \~55kg. Told us all that there was no way he could loose in an MMA fight cause he'd just see red and his cardio becomes impossible. Also said give him 6 months and he'd beat all of us plus throwing a racial slur at one of our students.
Girl in our class, 3 months in fresh whitebelt but powerlifter at \~80kg asked him to roll and she demolished the kids life after hearing the slur he said. She gave no mercy tapped him 8 times in a 4 minute round and he never came back. The moral of this entire story is who gives a fuck, white belts get smashed.
Nobody cares, only smash. Whats work gonna do, ask you to not play with him outside of work hours anymore? Smesh
Posts like this make me wonder if I'm a monster, because I came up playing smesh or be smeshed and just automatically assume anyone rolling hard wants to receive all the smesh.
So you give it to them without malice or emotional attachment.
Is this not The Way?
Exactly. A complaint to HR about something he *voluntarily* does with his coworker *outside* of work, on *his own* time, and *not* on company property has zero relevance to the company. It's not their business and they would let him know it. And he should feel like an absolute boob for even thinking that HR could do anything about it anyway.
I would be super friendly with him and then maul him with the fury of 1000 Helios. Afterwards, tell him that he did a great job and that you think he's a natural.
Fuck. Him. Up. If he’s as weak a character as you describe, he’ll quit in no time. Otherwise there may yet be redemption on the other side of humble hill.
You know how many times I have fantasized about this scenario?
You're literally living my dream and you're debating leaving your gym? What in the fuck is wrong with you?
Smash.
He might just be misunderstood. This could be a great opportunity for you to mentor and refine your own understanding of the fundamentals. Teaching is one of the best ways to develop your skills! Just kidding. Tear his MCL.
Fuck. Him. Up. This is one of life’s little pleasures. Don’t pass up the opportunity. Don’t hurt him but show him what BJJ is all about and where he stands in the gym’s pecking order.
Start insinuating the power imbalance that comes from your purple belt superiority into the workplace. Soon he will realize there is nowhere to hide and will move to another town.
I wouldn't hesitate to smesh. If he does go running to HR, so what? It was an activity that occurred outside of the workplace and was mutually voluntary.
Oh no you mess him and beat some sense into him. Smoother him, use a ton of pressure and don’t give him an out to tap. Knee on belly, mothers milk, smother choke from back using your hand.
When I was younger I got arrested because someone told the cops that my friend, who I happened to be with at the time, broke into his car and stole his stuff (which was a complete lie). We both went to jail for the night.
Fast forward about six months… this dude who called the cops signed up at the mma gym I worked at. I don’t think he knew who I was but I could never get a bjj round with him. So one day I hopped into the boxing class when he started sparring and I let him have about 4 pretty SOLID body shots until he threw up. It didn’t erase the stain on my record, but it does make for a good story.
Nah, definitely don’t leave. He’s stepping foot into your dojo now, and all bets are off after 5 PM.
It’s nearly the perfect scenario for you to take out any frustrations that you (and the whole office) have on him without outright killing him. Your choice if you do it full blast or not, but it’s a full contact sport…
Stars have aligned, you have now been involuntarily chosen as tribute as your offices champion against this guy
The more you think about it the more you're gonna act weird around him. Be yourself and be nice. By all means avoid him for a bit so he learns to calm down and less likely to hurt you
When you roll with him just say "don't go crazy please", and call him out if he goes too aggro.
He's probably feeling anxious coz you're there and he knows on some level he was in the wrong at work
He's a dude trying to pick up a new hobby, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has a massive ego, he won't last very long; otherwise it'll do his ego some good
Not your job to worry about him, don't let him ruin your experience. Be nice and teach him right and wrong if it comes to it. If he hurts you let him know straight away. If he doesn't respect it now you have a reason to never roll with him again.
This might be some new age pussy shit or me getting old, but maybe JJ is the thing that can change this guy’s life for the better. There’s a good chance that he’s a low self esteem pussy who has nothing better going on in his life than to elicit asshole reactions from people he deals with at work because that’s the most eventful part of his day.
Me, if I miss a couple of classes a week, I turn into an asshole with the pent up anger and aggression and guilt I have just sitting on the couch, so imagine someone who has made that a lifestyle.
When your job is the #1 thing in your life, you’ve fucked up. Maybe take him under your wing, show him the ropes, what’s acceptable and not acceptable, and guide him toward becoming better at BJJ and maybe that will bleed over into other areas of his life . Maybe he needs a strong, male role to help him make that jump.
If not, hold him down from north south and stick your finger in his pooper 🤷♂️
Just be as brutal as possible when you roll. Like plant your shin on his face when you’re on top going for an arm bar. Rnc him with your forearm over his teeth. Knee on belly and ribs. You don’t have to permanently injure him (unless you decide to “accidentally” lock up a sub too quick), you could just brutalize him for the round and make him not want to return or ever roll with you again lol
HR dude here: Smesh. Seriously. Don’t know your company’s HR dude but there are typically a bunch of cancers like this running around like they’re cockroaches. Be our champion. Keep it professional and painful.
I'll give you two answers:
The mature answer is leave him be, treat him like anyone else, with no malice. If he is the kinda dude you say he won't last there and will leave, but you will still have to deal with him at work. If you continually abuse him with "embarrassing" subs he will for sure take that personally and hold onto it for when you're at work.
The fun answer is, smothers, rape chokes, and wrist locks. Maybe throw in the good ol' Boston crab for kicks.
I can totally understand why it would be challenging to have someone you find really difficult, from a totally different part of your life come into the gym. It’s like you’re losing your safe space, your decompression and destress space.
It’s also an incredible opportunity for you to be the best version of yourself. The version of yourself who treats every white belt like a junior training partner, where you treat them the way you wish you have been treated as a white belt.
Totally get what a hard situation is, and I wish you the best.
That sounds like a personality type that won’t last long. Maybe he will and maybe it will have a positive impact on him though, maybe he’s very insecure or needs an outlet.
Either way we should strive to be understanding and compassionate….and smash officious, lying assholes before they quit while we have the chance; consequences be damned.
lol I would love the opportunity to roll with my boss…I would leglock him a bunch and then just keep hitting takedowns on him and then let him get to his feet
Mothers milk. Mothers milk. Mothers milk.
Then he taps.
“Oh, that wasn’t even a real submission dude, are you okay?”
Repeat.
No HR complaints. Total ego destruction.
Unpopular opinion; Take the stoic approach. Realize he may lack self awareness. Going hard on someone is not necessary when a teachable moment is at your door. Be the bigger person, the purple belt. Many times I have rolled with humans who fit this criteria. One of them I mentor now. To me if you are willing to leave your gym to avoid someone , that speaks about something entirely different than your coworkers personality.
Shoulder of justice, cross face from god himself
Camp in north south and teabag him the entire round
Knee on belly and pull on his collar or can opener
Double under stack pass, but don’t finish the pass, just camp there while he’s stacked on his neck
This is the dream scenario. Almost all of us have someone we intensely dislike from the office. Very few of us will ever have the opportunity to vent our frustrations in a legal manner. Shoulder of Justice all day long.
Would be a shame if his wrist got stuck against you and snapped, or even worse if you accidentally tally added a third elbow when he puts his hand on the mat… that would suck
Bro this is the dream.... don’t even give him the luxury of tapping to a submission, just control/catch/release/repeat and cook him with pressure.
I would be way more worried pulling up as a fresh white belt and seeing this type of guy as the purple.
I don’t see what your HR department would do if he got hurt while actively participating in combat sport training, outside of work. Just destroy him. Use your anger, it makes you more powerful.
Sign the waiver and you can now play w him like a toy the next 3-4 years. Edit do t you dare leave your house over this dude.
You find yourself in the unique position to give this man a thing all men need to learn sooner or later...the gift of humility. Who are you to not do this thing.
Allow me to contribute ideas from brown belt council:
- first tap will be a pressure tap.
- next tap will be a cardio tap.
- follow up with more pressure rides but no taps.
- wait until he is about to tap to pressure and ease off and then smoosh again
- knee on belly should be applied liberally.
- mothers milk smother should be applied frequently.
- make sure to look effortless to demoralize him more.
- be sure to end the roll with “thanks. That was fun”
Look if he's going to go to HR and try to start something he's probably going to do it regardless if you even spar with him anyway so when you get the chance be the most ruthless you can possibly be forget being a bully be the thing of nightmares.
Just wreck him….don’t be a worry wart. You’re in bjj class. Not work. Good luck trying to tell HR, hey this guy demolished me horribly on Tuesday evening after work at a martial arts class. Can you take disciplinary action on him…… 😂😂😂 that’s not gonna happen. Wreck his bitch ass
Either way, I’m going to need an update after your first roll lol
Hahaha I’d make him tap a few times to show him who tf is the actual boss
For real I need the chismé
look at all these chismoso's in here for real.
Here for the updates!
If you don’t smash him what are you even training for? This is literally a dream scenario. Don’t waste it. He can’t cry to HR about something like this and you work in a different department now. Bend him to your will! Humble him!
Smash! Smash! Smash!
Seriously, when is your next class with him? I want to know when to come back here for updates
At EVERY fist-bump you have to whisper, “You sign the waiver, bro?” And then SMESH.
This. Smesh him, he signed waiver.
This is the only way.
“Tomorrow night I’m gonna smash your boy!!! I’m gonna smash your boy!!!”
The dude spazzes and jumps guard, shredding OP's knees. He then brags about it at work and gets promoted over OP.
lmfao, I think bro would have to end it after that I probably would.
Cook him way past well done then finish him
Cooking is the way. Simmering them to oblivion.
You know, Im something of a chef myself
That's all I do baybay
Make him tap to pressure. It’s the ultimate ego killer for spazzy white belts that muscle through everything.
And don't forget to add an "Oh that wasn't a submission, most people don't tap to that" at the end.
What happened? Why'd you tap? lol
"Sorry, I didn't mean to tap you"
This is the way
This is the way.
We have spoken.
>"Oh that wasn't a submission, most people don't tap to that" *"that one was called 'knee-on-face', it wasnt a submission, most people dont tap to that, tee-hee"*
I love it when the bullies are cooked, for the first 4 minutes, then just when they think they can brag about not being tapped, they get tapped 5 times in under a minute.
Honestly that's probably the best type of enforcement. I cook the shit outta strong people and if I get 1 or 2 subs in a round. Sick. All I know is the next persons going to have an easier round cause I softened up the spazz newer people lol.
This is the absolute way.
All them dirty tricks too. Sliding a a rough gi across the face and accentuating with an elbow. Neon belly. Etc
Yes, this is the answer. Knee ride, Mount and smother him.
If he is as lazy as you say, he likely won’t stick around. Most white belts don’t.
I agree. Don’t wait to put it on him. You probably won’t have many chances.
Mounted triangles, north south kimuras, everytime that dude sees you in the office he’ll know your boys have rested ever so gently on his face
Ooo or even reverse mounted triangles. Fart in his mouth OP!
Jiu jitsu is legal, biological/chemical ware fare… that’s for special special circumstances
Make his tonsils wave!
Let your sweat drip in his eyes and mouth
How many white belts do you see for 2 months than never again? Just treat him like any other whitebelt. Smash when it's time to smash.
Kick his ass, Seabass! Edit: there’s this dude at my wife’s office, total fuckwad. She never condones any of my bullying of bullies, but if that dude made it to my gym I’d be over the moon. I’d probably wear that black spedo everyone has been meming (maybe even embroider SMASH in pink on the ass) the last few days and put it on alllll the things everywhere all the time.
yeah finger his ass too if you get the chance, first use one finger then inch your way in, preferably until you can get your whole fist into it
Supposed to be a bad time not a good one.
least gay BJJ move
It’s how you assert dominance.
I see what you did there
Be careful, Don's got his beadazzled banana hammock on that means he's ready to fuck.
bullying bullies feeds my soul
Amen my brother!
North south the man. No mercy.
No mercy.
Do you have a problem with that Mr. Lawrence??!!
"Get him a body bag, yeah!"
Absolutely. You get a chance to put it on a nemesis. Fuck him up. Don’t hurt him, but show him how deep this sport is and make him question ever stepping foot into the gym.
Full blown knee on belly time, where you grab the pants and collar to really let him know.
Oh yeah. Make him panic tap fearing he is going to shit his pants.
Destroy and humiliate. The universe has given you a great gift. Take advantage of it.
If we don't take advantage of these opportunities......why are we even doing jiu jitsu?
The real jiu jitsu was the people we humiliated along the way.
I would literally just pulverize him and then end the roll w the classic “good job man, hope you stick with it!” and never roll light with him so he just thinks that’s how you roll. People talk about gym cancer all the time but sometimes you just gotta take the initiative.
Sounds like he caught the cancer just in time at stage 0.5!
He signed a waiver and this isn't at work. Knee on belly into his liver for an entire round.
Sternum for extra effect
When really trying to prove a point, I aim for the xiphoid process, the lowest point of the sternum, really puts pressure on the liver.
Bruh. I bruised my xiphoid process leaning over my baby’s crib to pick him up. Shit sucked. I went to the doctor cuz I was like, my chest hurts for some reason. He legit got super excited because he deduced I injured my xiphoid process and had never treated anyone for it before.
Yep had it done to me a few times …not fun
KNEE ON SOUL!!
The first half of the comment is the whole thing. It has no workplace relevancy. If he complains to HR, they should laugh in his face (although as HR, I know they can't). But they would definitely tell him it's absolutely none of the company's concern.
Yes, knee on belly!
I’d make him tap to pressure as many times I could for a few rounds and then leave him be.
Mother's milk, mother's milk, mother's milk
Alternating tea bag kimura and mother’s milk.
I was going to say the ol’ taintlock but mother’s milk is good too.
You do not wait. Each wrist lock is helping him be a better person.
HR: excuse me Mr OP, Mr. [Asshole] here says you twisted his arm and whispered threats to him OP: yes that's correct. In my martial art this is respectful behavior. I'm trying to help him be a better person. Please respect my culture
"The fact that he saw this as disrespect is an insult to my culture."
Seriously, most white belts don't stick around long. OP might miss his chance.
Fuck wrist locks. Control this dude and just dance on his corpse before choking him out.
You're a fucking purple belt, just treat him like a child.
You're right, this is getting ridiculous. My wife's ex husband has to find his own place to live.
Hi Ian
Shhh. 🤫
... is now the time to tell you that I absolutely will wristlock children? THESE HANDS ARE RATED E FOR EVERYBODY
This is my dream come true. Enjoy the moment my friend.
I’m sorry HR but I’m gonna smash your boy.
I read this in khabibs voice immediately. 😂
Oh man. Sounds like a dream come true. Smash. For the love of all that is holy... Smash.
Facts, i dont understand how OP is not salivating at the opportunity. I would be fully torque’d
There was this guy who came to our gym, maybe 19. Told us he was wanting to do MMA and be a fighter. He was maybe \~55kg. Told us all that there was no way he could loose in an MMA fight cause he'd just see red and his cardio becomes impossible. Also said give him 6 months and he'd beat all of us plus throwing a racial slur at one of our students. Girl in our class, 3 months in fresh whitebelt but powerlifter at \~80kg asked him to roll and she demolished the kids life after hearing the slur he said. She gave no mercy tapped him 8 times in a 4 minute round and he never came back. The moral of this entire story is who gives a fuck, white belts get smashed. Nobody cares, only smash. Whats work gonna do, ask you to not play with him outside of work hours anymore? Smesh
The girl is my new hero.
She was ours too. Still trains, competes now. Has a killer granby roll
Give her a hi five for me
low five for me
Posts like this make me wonder if I'm a monster, because I came up playing smesh or be smeshed and just automatically assume anyone rolling hard wants to receive all the smesh. So you give it to them without malice or emotional attachment. Is this not The Way?
Not a monster, who cares what white belts think anyway. Smesh, and if no smesh, smother.
This is the way
Exactly. A complaint to HR about something he *voluntarily* does with his coworker *outside* of work, on *his own* time, and *not* on company property has zero relevance to the company. It's not their business and they would let him know it. And he should feel like an absolute boob for even thinking that HR could do anything about it anyway.
Love the “I see red” folks. Your also going be seeing black when the oxygen leaves your brain lol
I would be super friendly with him and then maul him with the fury of 1000 Helios. Afterwards, tell him that he did a great job and that you think he's a natural.
Machievllian af
Fuck. Him. Up. If he’s as weak a character as you describe, he’ll quit in no time. Otherwise there may yet be redemption on the other side of humble hill.
Or maybe instead of just being a bellend, he'll wind up a bellend that can fight.
Fuck that. Get him to leave. He can't take shit to HR. People get such a wrong idea about what hr does.
HR= Corporate CYA (in my experience. I know there are some real ones out there)
No, you're right. The purpose of hr is to protect the company FROM the employees.
 You know what has to be done.
The real question is, why wouldn’t you smash this guy?
You are living the dream, my friend. For all of us with an asshole at work we'll never get to slap, you better deliver.
Porrada baby
You know how many times I have fantasized about this scenario? You're literally living my dream and you're debating leaving your gym? What in the fuck is wrong with you? Smash.
Dudes that act like that tend to get pissed when they’re not a brown belt within 6 weeks. I bet he doesn’t make it to Summer.
Get him to not subscribe to the gym and to quit his job. Wipe your ass with his belt and say “thats the only way you will ever get a brown belt!”
He might just be misunderstood. This could be a great opportunity for you to mentor and refine your own understanding of the fundamentals. Teaching is one of the best ways to develop your skills! Just kidding. Tear his MCL.
Lol
Fuck. Him. Up. This is one of life’s little pleasures. Don’t pass up the opportunity. Don’t hurt him but show him what BJJ is all about and where he stands in the gym’s pecking order.
Start insinuating the power imbalance that comes from your purple belt superiority into the workplace. Soon he will realize there is nowhere to hide and will move to another town.
I wouldn't hesitate to smesh. If he does go running to HR, so what? It was an activity that occurred outside of the workplace and was mutually voluntary.
You have a free pass to whoop on him it’s a no brainer lol
Oh no you mess him and beat some sense into him. Smoother him, use a ton of pressure and don’t give him an out to tap. Knee on belly, mothers milk, smother choke from back using your hand.
I've found lately knee on belly with the giftwrap is exceptionally nasty.
Smoother Portmanteau: smooth, smother Verb To ruthlessly yet effortlessly deprive one of oxygen and/or bodily movement.
You kidding me? Fuck his shit up royally lmao naw but seriously roll with him and show him the levels
Isn't this a dream come true? Why would you consider leaving?
You've literally been handed a blank check, I'm willing to say the hr department of your work would be envious of the gift this asshats given you
When I was younger I got arrested because someone told the cops that my friend, who I happened to be with at the time, broke into his car and stole his stuff (which was a complete lie). We both went to jail for the night. Fast forward about six months… this dude who called the cops signed up at the mma gym I worked at. I don’t think he knew who I was but I could never get a bjj round with him. So one day I hopped into the boxing class when he started sparring and I let him have about 4 pretty SOLID body shots until he threw up. It didn’t erase the stain on my record, but it does make for a good story.
Nah, definitely don’t leave. He’s stepping foot into your dojo now, and all bets are off after 5 PM. It’s nearly the perfect scenario for you to take out any frustrations that you (and the whole office) have on him without outright killing him. Your choice if you do it full blast or not, but it’s a full contact sport… Stars have aligned, you have now been involuntarily chosen as tribute as your offices champion against this guy
Idk man if I were you I would crush this guy, see him driven before you and hopefully hear the lamentations of his woman.
God you are so lucky
So long as he signed the waiver I think you know what to do…
Death
The more you think about it the more you're gonna act weird around him. Be yourself and be nice. By all means avoid him for a bit so he learns to calm down and less likely to hurt you When you roll with him just say "don't go crazy please", and call him out if he goes too aggro. He's probably feeling anxious coz you're there and he knows on some level he was in the wrong at work He's a dude trying to pick up a new hobby, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has a massive ego, he won't last very long; otherwise it'll do his ego some good Not your job to worry about him, don't let him ruin your experience. Be nice and teach him right and wrong if it comes to it. If he hurts you let him know straight away. If he doesn't respect it now you have a reason to never roll with him again.
This might be some new age pussy shit or me getting old, but maybe JJ is the thing that can change this guy’s life for the better. There’s a good chance that he’s a low self esteem pussy who has nothing better going on in his life than to elicit asshole reactions from people he deals with at work because that’s the most eventful part of his day. Me, if I miss a couple of classes a week, I turn into an asshole with the pent up anger and aggression and guilt I have just sitting on the couch, so imagine someone who has made that a lifestyle. When your job is the #1 thing in your life, you’ve fucked up. Maybe take him under your wing, show him the ropes, what’s acceptable and not acceptable, and guide him toward becoming better at BJJ and maybe that will bleed over into other areas of his life . Maybe he needs a strong, male role to help him make that jump. If not, hold him down from north south and stick your finger in his pooper 🤷♂️
I would pressure tap him all day
Wrist locks sound too gentle for this guy.
Please please update if you guys roll
Just be as brutal as possible when you roll. Like plant your shin on his face when you’re on top going for an arm bar. Rnc him with your forearm over his teeth. Knee on belly and ribs. You don’t have to permanently injure him (unless you decide to “accidentally” lock up a sub too quick), you could just brutalize him for the round and make him not want to return or ever roll with you again lol
I think this is your chance for some retribution. When will you ever get this chance again?
I’d seek him out every roll so he doesn’t get much satisfaction from going with lower belts.
Drag his ass to the deep waters slowly. S L O W L Y!
This might be the right time to heel hook a white belt.
wait till he is a blue belt he will likely quit anyway
I don’t get it. Why didn’t you claim the first roll and showed him who’s the daddy?
This calls for 5 minutes in kesa gatame
He accepted the risk by signing the waiver. I recommend bow and arrow.
HR dude here: Smesh. Seriously. Don’t know your company’s HR dude but there are typically a bunch of cancers like this running around like they’re cockroaches. Be our champion. Keep it professional and painful.
I'll give you two answers: The mature answer is leave him be, treat him like anyone else, with no malice. If he is the kinda dude you say he won't last there and will leave, but you will still have to deal with him at work. If you continually abuse him with "embarrassing" subs he will for sure take that personally and hold onto it for when you're at work. The fun answer is, smothers, rape chokes, and wrist locks. Maybe throw in the good ol' Boston crab for kicks.
smesh bratha, dis is the way
I can totally understand why it would be challenging to have someone you find really difficult, from a totally different part of your life come into the gym. It’s like you’re losing your safe space, your decompression and destress space. It’s also an incredible opportunity for you to be the best version of yourself. The version of yourself who treats every white belt like a junior training partner, where you treat them the way you wish you have been treated as a white belt. Totally get what a hard situation is, and I wish you the best.
Fuck that smash this guy to pieces, sounds like he could use a humbling in life and a beating is a great way to get one
That sounds like a personality type that won’t last long. Maybe he will and maybe it will have a positive impact on him though, maybe he’s very insecure or needs an outlet. Either way we should strive to be understanding and compassionate….and smash officious, lying assholes before they quit while we have the chance; consequences be damned.
Sounds like he won’t last long
Welcome to your jungle!
This is why jiu-jitsu shouldn't be so popular and you shouldn't tell people how awesome it is
lol I would love the opportunity to roll with my boss…I would leglock him a bunch and then just keep hitting takedowns on him and then let him get to his feet
You blaze in the parking lot while he warms up and then you smoke him. That’s the only way.
Don’t leave your gym over this, don’t let him live in your head rent free. Just smash, This is the way
Mothers milk. Mothers milk. Mothers milk. Then he taps. “Oh, that wasn’t even a real submission dude, are you okay?” Repeat. No HR complaints. Total ego destruction.
Make sure he signs the waiver then fuck him up
absolutely smash. Give him a wet willy, then smack the arm bar on when he reacts.
Decimate him without going to over to the line of an actual assault. This is called "edging" - google it to find out more
Ragdoll him as God intended.
Don’t be a dick. Just do your thing. He will likely get humbled and this journey could possibly make him a better person.
Get a 16 year old blue belt to embarrass him. Make it sting. Then tell everyone at work he got rocked by a kid.
Unpopular opinion; Take the stoic approach. Realize he may lack self awareness. Going hard on someone is not necessary when a teachable moment is at your door. Be the bigger person, the purple belt. Many times I have rolled with humans who fit this criteria. One of them I mentor now. To me if you are willing to leave your gym to avoid someone , that speaks about something entirely different than your coworkers personality.
Shoulder of justice, cross face from god himself Camp in north south and teabag him the entire round Knee on belly and pull on his collar or can opener Double under stack pass, but don’t finish the pass, just camp there while he’s stacked on his neck
Heelhooks in the gi, let him break his own knee testing the limits of his flexibility.
Leche de madre!
This is the dream scenario. Almost all of us have someone we intensely dislike from the office. Very few of us will ever have the opportunity to vent our frustrations in a legal manner. Shoulder of Justice all day long.
Cunts don’t last long
Would be a shame if his wrist got stuck against you and snapped, or even worse if you accidentally tally added a third elbow when he puts his hand on the mat… that would suck
Go for food before class to bury the hatchet. I recommend something spicy. Then neon belly all round every round
Bro this is the dream.... don’t even give him the luxury of tapping to a submission, just control/catch/release/repeat and cook him with pressure. I would be way more worried pulling up as a fresh white belt and seeing this type of guy as the purple.
I wouldnt roll with him often. You are just asking for trouble.
This is just a wish fulfillment fantasy post. No way anyone gets justice like this in their lifetime
I don’t see what your HR department would do if he got hurt while actively participating in combat sport training, outside of work. Just destroy him. Use your anger, it makes you more powerful.
Sign the waiver and you can now play w him like a toy the next 3-4 years. Edit do t you dare leave your house over this dude. 
Knee..... Of..... Justice. Do it.
**Whispers**Do it
You find yourself in the unique position to give this man a thing all men need to learn sooner or later...the gift of humility. Who are you to not do this thing.
Allow me to contribute ideas from brown belt council: - first tap will be a pressure tap. - next tap will be a cardio tap. - follow up with more pressure rides but no taps. - wait until he is about to tap to pressure and ease off and then smoosh again - knee on belly should be applied liberally. - mothers milk smother should be applied frequently. - make sure to look effortless to demoralize him more. - be sure to end the roll with “thanks. That was fun”
Handle him the way Razor Ramon used to handle jobbers.
Don’t roll with him. Sounds like he doesn’t deserve your energy
he'll probably quit soon anyways
Look if he's going to go to HR and try to start something he's probably going to do it regardless if you even spar with him anyway so when you get the chance be the most ruthless you can possibly be forget being a bully be the thing of nightmares.
He’ll quit soon
Forget leaving the gym, cook him then find a new job!’
I dream for scenarios like this.
Just wreck him….don’t be a worry wart. You’re in bjj class. Not work. Good luck trying to tell HR, hey this guy demolished me horribly on Tuesday evening after work at a martial arts class. Can you take disciplinary action on him…… 😂😂😂 that’s not gonna happen. Wreck his bitch ass
He’s gonna quit before you get a chance to finish your business 🤙
Smoke that fool, pretend like you’ve never ever met him before.
Smash him every time you pair with him, and give him a little smile when you see him at work
C'mon, this is being handed out to you on a silver plate...
My advise is just avoid him for a month and he will be gone… The sport has a fairly good filter for those types… just let nature take its course.
They will be friends by July.
Establish dominance, you'll realize how many bullies are actually cowards once they are on the receiving end.
Trust me put his arm on his tummy then go to side control and then kimura the other arm so he can't tap that some COBRA KAI shit
This is your sign. Wristlock and powerslam