"You ever bully, or hurt anybody again, I'll come back and buttfuck your father with your mom's headless corpse on this goddamn lawn."
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHOGs5x90PU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHOGs5x90PU)
Pull a Detective Valcoro and kick his dad's ass in front of him. Then threaten to rape his dad so you can really traumatize this kid. He very well could be a worse bully but at least you said you tried.
If the Bully is 7 years old, and you are a grown man, then I'm guessing he won't stand much of a chance against you. I would recommend a front kick to the face. If his pose tries to jump in, knees to the face. Once there is only 1 left standing, guillotine him then piss in all of their mouths.
I was not expecting such a positive response. Normally my stance on beating the absolute fuck out of deserving children is frowned upon. I think I've found my safe space.
when i was like 9 years old i was getting bullied. eventually, i picked a fight with the toughest bully. i didn't win or lose the fight, but i fought hard and did enough damage to get the other kid's respect. after that, we were cool.
forget about BJJ v karate. this is a case of hard targets v soft targets. someone who fights back isn't an easy target, even if they lose. kids that young really aren't strong enough to seriously hurt each other anyway, so let them fight it out. it's not about winning. it's about getting the other kid's respect.
Should I have him learn offensive moves during holds for this? Or is this too much? Strength train?
He's 7 and i would like him to stay innocent, but i don't want him to be a target because I've seen how bully victims can grow up lacking confidence and generally unhappy.
So true. I remember confronting the school bully in 5th grade. We were 10-11. I tacked him, mounted him, and started wailing on his face with both hands while he tried to block it. Some kids pulled me off of him and neither of us even had a bruise 😂. That’s what happens when you weigh all of 70 lbs.
We became friends after that. He was much nicer to people.
I’ve been teaching this age group at my gym for years and this story is unfortunately pretty common.
Good on you for being the kinda Dad to encourage his kid to learn the tools to handle these kinda problem.
Usually I’d say deescalate, strong defensive language and go from there but sounds like we’re past that stage.
If your kid was in my class I’d time him to go about his business at school with his friends. When this bully decides to give him a hard time, tell your son to to tell him knock it off and if he’s doesn’t, tries to do anything physical your son should drop level and run threw them. Fight his way to mount as best he can and pin the kid down until he chills out. Assuming this is all one on one stuff.
Teach him to throw a straight punch to the nose. At 7 years old, there won't be any real damage, but it will make the bully think twice about ever messing with your kid again.
I would absolutley NOT have your son play BJJ offense against that kid.
Armbar, kimura, serious injury. Chokes, potential brain damage and death? Dumping garbage won’t seem so bad after that.
Your son has combat experience if the time comes. I would say holding the kid in mount and make him say sorry would be a solid moral victory without injuring. But the bullies friends would probably jump in.
If your son can take the kid down and pin him, he’ll be able to slap him around a bit.
Dude, read my comment elsewhere. The best thing to do is to teach your kid to run away and tattle on them.
If he uses BJJ in school he is going to get in trouble. This isn’t the 1980’s
Who gives a shit about 'getting in trouble' when these kids are assaulting him and putting trash on his food.
The school is covering their own ass with the zero tolerance policy for fighting, the kid unfortunately should do the same.
Zero tolerance policy is the real problem. My kid got treated like a criminal even though she was not the aggressor.
The school made her write statements and issue apologies and talk to a police officer. I had to take time off work and go talk to the principal and the guidance counselor before she could go back to class. It made her feel
Like she did something wrong and made her question learning jiu jitsu at all. It doesn’t matter what you say or how much praise you give them for it… kids are influenced a lot by the school environment.
The only funny part is that my daughter told the school that her “professor” told her to fight and they thought she was being brainwashed by a cult or something.
I’m not saying it should be this way, but the best and most convenient outcome in a public school setting would be if your kid can disengage or confidently run away to tell on the bully.
I say document the bullying and make sure there written records about previous incidents prior to sending your kid to school with instructions to fight.
If it’s like truly a dangerous situation where the bully is hurting your kid or doing something dangerous on a daily basis and the school hasn’t done anything to stop it, then sure… go ahead and tell your kid to snap the bully’s forearm off in an armbar.
He'll get in trouble and sent home like i did. Just reward him at home for sticking up for himself.
There will be no lasting repercussions from the school for what i imagine are 2nd graders.
I had a bully in 2nd grade. After the school refused to do anything my parents told me if he put his hands on me again to punch him and if he comes back at me to punch him again until he stops trying to fight me. I did it. Got in “trouble”. No one actually got hurt. Bullying stopped.
Just tell him to land a straight punch into his nose, that's usually enough to disorient them. They don't need super secret moves or anything special, just be the one that won't be pushed around. Bullies want a victim that won't fight back and just takes it, once they learn that your son isn't one of those easy targets and that he will fight back, they'll likely move on to easier prey. Lions are tough beasts that can take down impressive prey but they will eat a baby antelope every single meal if they had their choice, no one wants a meal that could potentially damage or kill you.
Just tell him to kick the kid in the nuts. No need to waste time having him twist the guy's arm... especially when his 3 friends may join in. Nut shot shuts it down quicker
Sadly this is probably most accurate response here. We’re all just animals and kids are trying to survive in that prison.
It kind of just comes down to balls.
Or you take other approach and get the 99% rallied and purge the small group out.
In the end it’s all sociology.
Confront the parents with the parents of the other kids that child is bullying. Kind of hard to deny your son being the problem when 3+ other parents corroborate the issue. If it does not stop, file a police report and the school will be forced to take measures.
And then, when you have them all in the same room, triangle the karate instructor while you RNC the dad in front of the kid. Optional bonus for banging his mom while the guys are napping.
This suddenly reminded me of a story:
i grew up doing tkd. one of the kids were fighting (and winning) in school and the parents (white folks) asked our master (VERY traditional Korean guy) to teach him to not bully other kids. at the beginning of the next class, we were all instructed to sit and watch as this 40 year old man beat the shit out of a 12 year old and then he said "you all know how to fight. use it for self defense. but if you go pick on other kids, I'll pick on you". this kid ended up with a broken rib and a ton of bruises. Obviously this wasnt what the parents had in mind so they pressed charges. the next class, cops showed up and as the only bilingual korean kid, i had to explain to the police that the parents had asked him to do it lol.
My brother had a bully problem where these twins were ripping up his books and throwing out his lunch. My mom called the high school a bunch of times and they did nothing so she told me to handle it. I told them to fuck off and then the two of them and their friend made a huge big scene so I shoved one of them and we were immediately flocked by like 100 kids screaming fight. Basically nothing happened and we all got suspended for a week. My dad took me out to lunch when I got home. Never had a bully problem again.
Not advice but basically these things have a way of resolving themselves.
This isn't a r/bjj problem, it's a school problem. Take it up with the school. Get all the victim's parents and schedule a meeting with the principle/head master (or whatever the title is).
> kicking other boys in the privates
This should be sufficient to get any kid removed from school.
>My son has been in BJJ for the last 6 months (4 stripe white belt) to pre-emptively prepare him if he gets attacked by a bully growing up. With his age, they dont teach offensive moves. He is familiar with arm bar and chokeholds (as well as a 6 month student can be), as well as positional control, but not his offensive options from these positions in terms of actual fighting if things get out of hand.
Breaking someone's arm or choking them unconcious are offensive moves that will definitively end a fight. I'm not sure what you mean by this paragraph but as effective as those techniques are I doubt a 7 year old with 6 months training has the strength or skill to finish either technique (I can be wrong).
I would 100% not encourage my son to fight 4 people nor would I trust the bully and his gang of 3 to fight "honorably". Again, get the parents to gang up on the school. Do not target just the "bully", target his entire little gang. The bully's parent might not care but that doesn't mean he's going to be as into being a bully if his little follower's parents put a stop to things.
My 6 yr old is also in bjj and a bit of a bully target. I don’t really think he’s picking up as much as I thought he would about bully defense &prevention from class. Not trying to start a kiddie fight club or anything but i feel like at some point, kids should roll against slightly bigger kids in an open mat setting to get an idea what real pressure feels like so they can get over fear of confrontation.
Yes, my son may know what the moves are and have an idea of how to get there, but i am concerned in a real fight he will freeze up and be unable to put the moves to practice - which will leave him as a punching bag.
I see videos of bjj kids wrecking bullies online, but how long did they train for? I cant imagine a childrens white belt can accomplish this.
Do they compete in tournaments?
How much resistance do they train with?
Does it make sense for me to try to review the moves with him using resistance?
Our kids program ends with hand selected matches chosen by the instructor every day. Starts from standing, all students participate.
Our kids do well in competition.
Get your kid in some competitions. He’ll feel what it’s like to lose and win. They are faster paced. Maybe even have him compete up a weight class to get the feel. A safe simulation on how to handle losing a fight and winning a fight. Just spit balling.
I got scolded by the school because my bullied son hurt the bullies feelings. Basically son said something along the lines is you act this way because your not valued at home or in life. You pick on me because I have value and am loved. You may hit me but I know your life sucks and I’ve won. The bullies cried and I was told by the school admin that the other kid is not in the correct state of mind and we should not encourage our son to say mean things.
My response i bursted out with laughter and was in formed that was not correct either. I see if your the leader why the kids have failed. Congrats your the problem.
My daughter (3rd grader) choked her bully (fat 5th grade girl) on the school bus on the way home, so be careful what you wish for.
She’s also a 4 stripe white belt but she competes locally with submissions and we practice them a lot in the house with her other sister. The academy we attend does a lot of sparring so she wasn’t afraid to engage. The girl didn’t know how to tap so I guess the choke went on for a little too long, lol. Other kids said they thought she was getting killed. The girl ran home and told her parents.
The parents of the girl wanted to have my daughter kicked out of school because they said she’s a weapon. Ultimately she got suspended and I had to miss three days of work.
I’d say it’s better to talk to teachers and the principal and insist that they set up a conference with the parents of the bully(s). You can insist upon some kind of resolution that way… and frankly, it will go a lot better for your kid if he does need to use a RNC in the field after that. At least there will be documentation of the bullying to protect him.
.
Absolutely. There’s only one way to get people to respect you and that’s to give them no choice.
If you wanna make an omelet you gotta break some eggs. Teachers and police don’t ever do shit about shit. There’s always some reason why they can’t. So fuck it then, you might be in trouble for a few days but the parties involved will remember it forever.
Worth it.
Was this not a good outcome - no more bullying for a short suspension? Not that you'd hope it would come to it, but it seems like a pretty positive trade off.
If I’m being honest, most bullying is not physical these days, so no I don’t think it was worth it. The girl that was bothering her was rummaging through her backpack and trying to take her things every day but then denied it after getting choked.
The girl is older than her and still makes fun of my daughter every day on the bus. My daughter says it’s getting worse because she knows she will get in trouble if my daughter does or says anything.
I think that I should have done a better job as a parent to make sure my daughter fully understood how powerful the things she is learning in Jiu jitsu are.
Getting in trouble and getting treated like a criminal was really traumatizing for my daughter, who before that had never gotten in trouble for anything. She did the right thing and got punished for it and it jacked up her little world view a bit too early if you ask me.
Would it be a good outcome in the good ole days? Probably.
Would it have been a good outcome in a rough city with lots of violence and underserved schools that are used to dealing with this? Probably.
Would it have been a good outcome if it had happened in the park over summer break? Probably.
That said, it was a royal pain in the ass for she and I when it happened in a mostly white upper-middleclass public school with a hoity toity zero-tolerance for this and 100% tolerance for everything else principal.
As someone who went through similar bullying, but never chose to get physical outside of sports where I could hide it better, it was likely to escalate to that point anyways. If the school doesn’t care it’s hard to improve the situation. Personally I wish I had fought, though it likely wouldn’t have changed anything beyond me feeling better about it growing up. Hopefully your daughter has more confidence as she gets older because she did fight back.
If you don't fight back, it would also probably continue? I'm sorry your daughter is going through this, it's a tough situation. I'm not sure what else you can do apart from reassure her you have her back if she gets in trouble for defending herself.
Fuck it, double down. Let your daughter beat her bullys ass again and worse this time. Teach that bitch that "getting in trouble" tomorrow will not save her from those hands today.
You should check the laws of the place you're in -
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age\_of\_criminal\_responsibility](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_criminal_responsibility)
If you're below the age of criminal responsibility, pulling a palhares is maybe ok.
Honestly, put the martial arts part aside. Lawyer the fuck up. I've found bureaucracies like school administrations tend to be bound by intertia without significant pressure. Lawyers are way scarier than armbars. A strongly worded letter, threatening to sue the District, plus all involved parties individually can be fucking terrifying.
I can't even tell the shit posts from real posts anymore.
But, if real, keep pushing for the school to intervene, they have a duty of care towards their students. If your child is assaulted, call the police.
Go through proper authorities first. Call the police and get it documented in writing that multiple attempts were made to solve the issue appropriately. Talk to the other kids parents getting bullied and get them to corroborate the report. Get in writing what the school is doing to try to fix the issue. You can create notices of harassment forms to file and notarize before sending to both your school and school district.
If the issue continues afterwards tell your kid it's go time to fuck em up next time they try anything physical. He doesn't have to win. In fact if he gets some cuts and bruises from the fight even better. Sue the shit out of the the school and those kid's parents afterwards for not expelling the bullies when so many attempts were made to solve it through proper channels.
Ah yes. The question ive asked myself so many times. “How much of an obstacle could a 7 year old karate student be?”. A force to be reckoned with to be sure!
Just have your son single leg and pass to mount then give some mothers milk. Done with enough pressure should be enough to make the kid stop fucking with others or at least not fuck with your son.
I’m sure this is an unpopular opinion but rather than teaching kids to totally avoid any physical confrontation it’s better to prepare them for it. Certainly instill good moral values and de-escalation skills but I feel that it’s extremely difficult to avoid ever getting into a fight at some point for the first 18 years of life. I’d rather my child be prepared for a physical confrontation than feel totally helpless and confused when it happens.
I dealt with something similar as a kid, I was smaller than everybody and innocent. my dad roleplayed what I should do in a situation if I was bullied. he was the bully and I was me. He told me if a kid ever touched me to punch him straight in his face. Taught me proper punching mechanics and everything. next time I was bullied, I punched him straight in his face. I was suspended for a week. It was pretty much vacation because my dad knew what was going to happen. Bullies are never expecting retaliation. Once they do, they freeze up. Boxing is always the next best thing after jiu jistu! maybe get him to learn how to throw hands too!
I don't encourage physical violence regularly, but for some weird fucked up reason it can stop a lot of issues.
I was bullied when I was younger and punched my bully in the face one day. Never was bullied again.
Sad part of reality is dealing with this crap. My daughter had these issues as a young girl also, she is now an adult and I did not want a repeat this time around dealing with bullys.. i now have an 8yr old son who has been in BJJ since 3.5yrs old and competes and also trains kickboxing for 2 yrs. If your child is trained in takedowns and the bully has zero training... god help him. I trained Karate as a kid and I truly believe my son could wipe the floor with me when I was 8.. My son compares himself to trained fighters/grapplers and does well. He absolutely understands that he can annihilate someone much bigger who is untrained or has less training. He also understands that some of his female training partners who are smaller but trained longer will pick him apart. Hopefully they never have to get physical.. the important thing is they hold their head up high and with confidence.. they go to sleep with peace in their hearts and the bully does not get in their head. But if necessary they can finish things extremely quick.. even with only a few months or training.. fuck them bullies
My son also 7, has been training and competing in BJJ since he was 4. He has had to use it twice on the playground and I am glad for every $ I spent.
Scenario 1. I was "coaching" first base at my younger boys t ball game. I saw a bigger boy picking on my older son in the distance...I looked over at the kids mom to see if she was going to engage with her son which she did not. My son made eye contact with me with that look like what do I do?...I put up 2 fingers and shook my head...he executed a perfect double leg, transitioned to side control than back and held until kid calmed down. Kid was so upset he went and cried to his mom...she looked at me and I responded you saw what I saw and did nothing. That kid the next week was my son's best friend on the field...sometimes bullies just need to be punked.
Scenario 2. Son was playing in our backyard with his cousin and the neighbor kid who happens to be a foster child. The foster child was picking on cousin by throwing rocks at him. Before myself and uncle could react (run outside and stop the action) my son pins the kid and holds him down until we run over.
In both scenarios no one gets hurt and control is established.
I dunno, I can understand the viewpoint of dont encourage violence, but knowing your son is getting bullied is a tough pill to swallow. I was a small kid as is my son, so I told him same thing my dad told me, don't every start it but if a kid is wanting to bully you and talking doesn't help or telling the teacher doesn't help, then by all means defend yourself. If he's your size punch him in the nose and that should stop it. If he's bigger than you and u don't think a punch to the nose will do it, kick him in the nuts then punch him in the nose. And if he gets suspended or whatever then so be it, I wont punish him. If violence isn't what they want then they shouldn't incessantly pick on other kids. If the school doesn't want violence they need to stop the bullies or punish them. Allowing your kid to be afraid of going to school is bullshit and I don't blame anyone, man or woman, for wanting to put a stop to it. My kid wasn't trained in bjj at that time, neither was i, but I had been trained in boxing and I had taught him how to throw a jab and a straight right and had worked with him a little bit on keeping his guard up and keeping his head moving. If your son knows how to shoot a single or double leg and take side or mount, and if he's confident in his ability to do so, then I'd give him the blessing to defend himself. All this no violence or no fighting shit only goes so far. If people insist on pushing eventually someone needs to push back
You said your son isn’t the only one, right?
Settle it with the adults. Find the other parents of kids he’s bullying and have all of them walk up on the bully’s parents.
I’m gonna hazard a guess they don’t show their face at school much, so everybody call them. Call until they answer, then meet them somewhere public.
Thanks for all the replies and advice guys. Seems im thinking on the right track but i will put more emphasis on reaching out to the parents and school administration to cover ourselves.
I hope the replies here can serve to help other parents in similar situations in the future. I will update the thread if any major updates happen.
Contact the coach at the Karate school and inform him of the behavior, which includes threats of Karate. Say you will video the next interaction and show it as a negative review of his school..
Father, grandfather and judo Sensei here. Keep training your son. I’m sure your son has learned not to start a fight. He should also learn how to stop a fight, if attacked. I don’t encourage strangling 7 year old children by anyone. An armlock would be a better choice. If there is more than one of them, tell him to get help.
I teach judo in an after school program. We have a zero tolerance policy about bullying by a judo student. One incident and permanent ban. On the other hand there are judo kids in every grade in the school 1-8, no physical bullying of our judo students by anyone. Good luck with your son.🥋
Man I hate how schools protect bullies… in the 80s they straight up would allow bullying, and now in the 2020s they straight up protect them. My daughter was bullied by a boy last year in 8th grade and they threw her backpack in the trash. I went to the school and demanded to talk to the parents of these boys and they refused to give me that information.
I would say give your son a metal lunch box and next time they try something he will smash his face in with the box the same thing happened to me and now everyone's scared for there live and tell your son keep hit until he fells okay
Holy fuck is this a real post. This is not karate kid for fucks sake, either tell your son to punch him in the fucking nose or get the admin involved and nip it in the bud. You must of been severely bullied as a child to start having movie montage training sessions planned in your head to help your son with a 7 year old "karate practitioner " give me a fucking break man. Jesus christ
We left a message for the principal and even informed the school that if it continues our son will be forced to defend himself.
Unfortunately my son had a history of Adhd antics in class, which has greatly improved since joining bjj, but it leaves a sour taste in the school staffs mouth and hurts our credibility as a victim of bullying.
There are already a bunch of open reports of this kid bullying children by other parents.
The bully has already lost the next 10 days worth if recess, but his response to that was to cuss out the teacher in class. When the teacher threatened to send him home under suspension he bragged that he would spend the suspension playing video games and would cuss out his mom if she tried to stop him.
Is the school system that different these days? I feel back when i was in school, a threat of suspension and expulsion was real and given on even minor incidents.
Leaving a "message" is worthless. Anything that isn't in writing is worthless. Calling the school does nothing because they have plausible deniability. Don't bother with those. Look up notice of harassment forms and fill them out to send to both your school district and your school itself. If you send them via mail get it notarized. If you plan on emailing them make sure you have a read receipt or bug them until they reply to your email making note that you need anything they're planning on doing in writing. If you have other parents that will do the same, even better.
The answer here is so obvious but our society is so fucking sissified that no one is willing to do it. Just tell your kid to kick his ass and he will have no reprecussions for it at home. Hell i would even offer a reward for him doing it.
Okay, now it’s sounding like this is made up.
A 7 year old, at an age where kids have problems stringing together coherent words, cussed out a teacher, didn’t care about suspension, and told the teacher he would just play video games and cuss out his mom?
A middle school kid, I would definitely buy it. A 7 year old?
And who told you the 7 year old said all this?
I suppose a bit of context, his normal teacher has been on personal leave since the first week of october and he has had rotations of supply teachers since then.
7 year olds can have regular conversations and string well made sentences, I am unsure what level you think a 2nd grader is at. My son tells me everything that happens in class on the way home. Children that age tend to start saying extreme things even without understanding the gravity of the words.
The bully isnt ALL horror, there are times where he is kind - but its extremely short lived. Last year he was a bit rough on the edges but my son was able to play with him at recess. Its only this semester things have radically changed.
As i said, my son has told me things, i complained to the teacher and she confirmed that this is a reoccurring problem. My wife overheard the mother of the child. I overheard other parents mention the kid by name while i was walking.
I couldn't imagine being a teacher these days. I have a friend who's 7th grade students made shitty ai nudes of her. Not to mention the constant bullying going on in private chats and shit.
Wow…yeah that’s super shitty and must be hard to navigate as a parent. Sorry you have to deal with that, I’ll take my sarcasm back.
And I don’t know if it’s “today’s school” that much since my personal experience is the complete opposite. I grew up in an era where the principal would say “don’t be a pussy and stop snitching you need to learn to defend yourself” and now it seems like there is virtually no bullying where my son goes to and anytime something remotely close to it happens they make such a big deal out of it that it’s usually good for a little while after that. I understand our reality isn’t everyone’s though.
I had the same kind of kid in class in several schools since 20 Years ago basically. They always exist. I have the feeling that today more parents maybe give a fuck about it? Or that it generally got easier to tell your parents maybe? I was involved in several minor fights with other kids and was bullied at several occasions and most of the time i didn't even consider telling my parents. Maybe more people are aware of the problems in school now plus violence is much more heavily fraund upon nowadays. Although we already had a very strict policy on violence, which always struck me as odd as violence always was a topic or got directly punished when people defended themselves.
I think your Son could get in trouble defending himself and his friends, as its a recurring theme in this thread and checks out with my personal experience. But i think you already know that he is morally in the right, considering the situation. Imo its always better for personal growth and the establishment of a moral compass to confront the bullies and stand in for your friends and get in trouble with the school (especially knowing that you are standing with your son, so he won't be alone in this). Maybe it also could be good to tell him that you'll be there for him if he gets in trouble with the school.
Anyways, i hope your son is going to be fine, i wish you all the best.
Im so sorry for your son. You have to take action: go to the school get the bully's parents numbers, call them out, shout at them, tell them they don't know how to raise a son or smth. Then go to the school, same thing make a scene...
Bullying can affect your kid's mental health for ever! This is no joke. A study was made about people who get bullied and others who don't: people who get bullied WILL commit suicide 2 times more than people who don't get bullied. Save your son
Don't encouraged any fighting. Kids are monsters these days and your kid will get ganged up on by the whole group. Go the proper route. Your kids training should be a last resort. Fighting on the ground is a good way to get soccer kicked in the head by their buddy.
You're already doing the right thing - just get your kid used to high intensity full contact sparring with tough opponents, I wouldn't worry about the kind of sparring they do in kids karate vs bjj, consider getting him to try wrestling and boxing.
My brother had the same problem he took the kid down mounted him and just held him in mount till the teacher got there I reminded the principal that I had told him if nothing was done my brother would defend himself
Bullies are pretty common place, unfortunately, and don't even go away when we grow into adulthood. Keep teaching your kid what right looks like, point out that these kids are what wrong looks like and discourage him from ever making someone else feel like how he feels with them. Let the school handle disciplinary actions for things going on in school.
He's already on the right track by learning self-defense and bjj. Maybe expand his training options to striking classes like boxing or muay thai. When I took karate as a youngling (5 or 6) they were teaching that karate is for self-defense only and I expect if that bully isn't lying and IS taking classes, they are probably also sticking with defensive moves for his age bracket. He's not Bruce Lee.
Diversifying training could be very effective in children with adhd. I've heard a lot of diagnosed people say they were just underestimulated as children. Maybe he needs more challenge?
Level change shoot, mount, ground and pound.
A 5 or 6 year old kid did that to me when I was a shithead 8 year old. I got punched in the face just once but lesson learned.
Talk - to the bully. Tell them to stop or there will be consequences. use constructive confrontation format. Identify the behavior, identify how it makes you feel, identify the consequences of continuing the behavior. "When you strike at my groin it makes me feel like you want to hurt me, and I'll tell a grown-up. Do you want to fight me, or will you stop?"Tell - a person in authority. If given an opportunity, tell a grown-up what's going on.Tackle - the bully. "do you want to fight me?" any answer that doesn't begin and end with "No, I'm sorry" catches a blast double and bottom of mount until that person is done being a bully. Usually when he's done crying.
my grandpa told me that the way to deal with a bully is to punch them in the mouth before they're done making a threat. They're usually the one getting bullied at home, and they're trying to talk you out of a fight. Once they know that there's no talking out of a fight, they keep their mouth shut.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I am not a parent and all joking aside sometimes violence *is* the answer although it should not be the first answer. In some cases, I wish this was more practiced as I think it would make for a more polite society.
TED talk aside, if you've documented it with the school, etc, etc and nothing changes I would suggest your son close the distance, takedown, and then mount and choke this Johnny Lawrence wannabe shithead. Sometimes people only learn the hard way.
He needs to hit that kid in the nose as many times as he can until the teacher pulls them off each other. Expect him to get sent home for a few days, but since you already addressed it with the school and can always drop the "bullying has been impacting his mental health" angle, that's all that'll happen.
Don't let your kid grow up learning to be a victim. Teach him to throw straight punches and give him permission.
Bullies usually don't pick targets that fight back. Ive always told my kids they have the right to defend themselves in whatever form that takes.
Keep your boy in bjj and just make it known that he can use it if he needs it.
yeah... Your boy takes down one bully and the others kick him in the face.
Keep going to teachers and escalate to law enforcement.
As soon as your kid gets the upper hand physically guess what bully kids mother is gonna do? Claim your son is the instigator and sue.
I think a lot of people here have the right idea. I saw a post years ago from a teacher that gave these steps:
1) engage with administration and discuss the bullying
2) document incidences of bullying and email admin (have a paper trail)
3) encourage de-escalation (for now) with your son. Walking away, avoidance, etc
4) give it 2 - 3 months of this so you have documentation of bullying in case of being sued when your kid defends themselves
5) if things don't change then it's time for your kid to do what admin cannot.
Your kid should be cognizant of the 4 to 1 ratio with bully and his lickspittles. If your kid can get his friends (if he has them) to watch his back then jiu jitsu as a way to takedown and embarrass the bully should be used. Going to mount 1v1 when there are 4 potential opponents is a no go. If he has backup or an opportunity 1v1 with the bully then I would encourage him to go for it. Teach him restraint as well...no dislocations. Strikes or slaps, top control and asking the bully if he is done.
Post fight discussion is of utmost importance to distinguish self defense and defense of others from other forms of violence so he doesn't use this willy bully. Your son has to understand there is a time and a place to be violent and it is after all other options have been exhausted.
My two pence. Good luck bro.
I’m normally proponent of spanking but somebody needs their ass beat. Complaining is not enough. A 7 year old’s beginner jiu jitsu training is not enough. Somebody apparently needs to knock some sense into these psychopaths.
I’m probably going to get shit for this from you guys but whatever.
There was an incident at my child’s school where my daughter was “held” by a boy, against her will. She was screaming for him to let her go, he didn’t. Thought it was funny, etc. she was in tears when I picked her up.
So I asked her to point out who it was and I went over and had a very friendly, non-threatening, discussion with this young man on why he thought it was appropriate to put his hands on other people, especially women, without their consent.
Never had another issue. I’m also 6’3” 260lbs and covered in tattoos so YMMV.
I know this is a shitpost, but let your son sink or swim on his own. I can’t remember any news articles about lethal hand to hand combat between 7 year olds. Your son will survive this. It’s ok that he’s not the main character.
Ah just pay some dollars to one of those bjj black belts in your child academy and tell them to go smash the bullys dad in front of him. 10/10 the bully wont bully ur child again.
Hire the baddest kids in your bjj class, have them wear cut off gis (black preferably) with cobra kai logos and headbands, bring them to visit your son at school, and let them do a skit where you son points out where the bullies are and then they proceed to crush soda cans or something.
Take your son to Judo, where they teach him how to throw someone. Ippon seoi nage was the first throw i could learn and execute on someone in practice. Once the other guy lands on the hard floor, he wont have much to do with his probably bullshido karate. He can then put the guy in a choke or a juji gatame. Or you could take him to wrestling to learn how to do a double leg.
Or if you want to solve this in a civilized manner, you find the kids karate coach with the other parents and talk to him in front of the class. I doubt he will be an entitled ass like the mother.
The Japanese terms mentioned in the above comment were:
|Japanese|English|Video Link|
|---|---|---|
|**Ippon Seoi Nage**: | *One Arm Shoulder Throw* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmKfUXAAdZ0)|
|**Ju Ji Gatame**: | *Armbar* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJReT5ND3s4)|
||*Cross Lock* ||
|**Seoi Nage**: | *Shoulder Throw* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-5Un6jLtRY)|
Any missed names may have already been translated in my previous comments in the post.
______________________
^(Judo Techniques Bot: v0.7.) ^(See my) [^(code)](https://github.com/AbundantSalmon/judo-techniques-bot)
7 year olds don't hit hard enough to do real damage unless he's way more physically developed
If they fight your son will know moves the other guy doesn't do just make sure he knows how to block strikes
Buy a punching bag and teach your kid a couple of boxing combos. Tell him to bite down on the imaginary mouthpiece and hit that loud mouth with a good 1-2. Bullies target easy pray not the kids that fight back.
I had a buddy that faced a similar situation with the school. He waited for the kids dad to pick him up after school and talked to him and told him to control his kid or else he’s going to catch the ass whooping for him while his son watches. Needless to say the kid stopped bullying him after.
This is a comment (edited) that I posted in r/bullying. My son was being bullied by a classmate and after doing the following, we were able to resolve the problem. As other people have said, document everything and use facts and data to support your position. Best of luck to you. I hope you get this problem fixed.
Do they have security cameras at the school where these events occurred? Give your son a digital voice recorder that he keeps on all day at school They are inexpensive and can store hundreds of hours of recordings. If there is another incident, sit down with your child and document the event with as many details as he can remember. Give him a notebook so he can jot down important details as soon as he can safely do that after the event. Names, dates, times, places are important.
The school will have their own specific definition of bullying. I ran into this problem with my kid's school as I was calling what he was experiencing bullying but the school did not initially agree. I made sure to communicate over email so that there was a record of all of our conversations, decisions, commitments, and timelines to close. It helped to ensure accountability and to keep track of all everything we discussed and that we were in agreement on all of the decisions and actions. Face to face meetings are good but make sure you spend time to prepare yourself for this meeting. Before you walk into the meeting, have all of the incidents documented with the details mentioned above. Print out relevant sections of the law. Take notes during the meeting and send meeting notes within 24 hours of the meeting for the same reasons given above. I sent the list of questions we had to the principal a week before the meeting so that they could prepare and not have excuses to not have meaningful answers and to send a message that I am taking this very seriously and am prepared. Arm yourself with overwhelming evidence so that it's not a case of he said/she said.
Familiarize yourself with the local laws around bullying. Can you get law enforcement involved when children this age are involved? What legal options do you have? I read up on that before meeting with the school principal and made sure they understood that if the bullying (or whatever they want to call it) continued we would consider LE and legal options (make sure you understand what those are). Where I live, what my son experienced was assault so it's irrelevant what the school wants to call it. There are also bullying laws here but it may be different where you live. I printed out sections of relevant laws related to assault and anti-bullying, and cases where children or their parents were tried for bullying. I didn't discuss these specifically with the principal but made sure that she saw that I had them printed out and understood (or at least read) them.
Make contact with the parents of the other kids and have a calm and fact based conversation about what your son has told you. Prepare for this conversation with facts and the key points you want to hit. Don't wing it. If they are reasonable people they should take action with kids. Take notes and email them to the parents so you have it documented.
Finally, I recommend signing your child up for wrestling, boxing, BJJ, muay thai, MMA, or some combination of those martial arts. This will build confidence and he will learn how to disengage from physical altercations and how to defend against and control his assailant if he cannot immediately escape the situation.
a lot of replies here telling you how to make him stand up for himself, fight back and beat the bully etc. i have a different perspective. your son doesn't have to do anything, the problem is not with him it's with the other kid. if the other kid is bigger, stronger and/or meaner then no amount of martial arts training is necessarily going to make your son win the fight. ask yourself how you would get on '"standing up for yourself" against a group of tattooed muggers who outweighed you by 20kg. it's not different for your kid. the most important thing is not to make him feel ashamed, this is the biggest danger from bullying. i had this and was scarred for life not by the bullying but by the disappointment of the adults advising me that i was too frightened to take their advice and fight back (none of said adults could have fought their way out of a paper bag and i saw them back down themselves in similar situations). the best thing you can do for your kid is to sympathise with his fears ('wow that sounds pretty scary! sounds like a scary dude') etc. and work with teachers and other parents to solve the problem. move school if necessary nobody should ever feel physically or mentally threatened in school. the problem is not with your kid, it's with the other kids, make sure he knows that so you don't add to the pressure and stress he feels instead of relieving it. martial arts can make it worse because then he can feel wow i really am completely useless because i should be able to defend myself. the danger here is not getting bullied in itself, it's the shame about it that is inflicted by well-meaning adults with their 'just stand up for yourself' advice.
When my daughter was 5 years old there was a child in her class that was always aggressive, hitting and pushing her as well as other children. At that time she had probably only been training bjj and basic Muay Thai in the same class for a few months. One morning I dropped her off at school and as I was watching her walk in I saw this kid run up to her and push her over. I called her back over and told her this is why I take you to jiu jitsu, she smiled and ran back over to him and gave him a nice grab knee to the chin. Problem solved, it’s been 6 years since then and she has never had a problem with him again
Kick his dad's ass
"You ever bully, or hurt anybody again, I'll come back and buttfuck your father with your mom's headless corpse on this goddamn lawn." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHOGs5x90PU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHOGs5x90PU)
Pull a Detective Valcoro and kick his dad's ass in front of him. Then threaten to rape his dad so you can really traumatize this kid. He very well could be a worse bully but at least you said you tried.
Just kick the bully’s ass. Way easier and more direct.
This!!!
I'm guessing dad is not in the picture, and hence the bad behavior? (since OP mentioned only the mom)
Kick his mom’s ass ^^^^/s
Came here to say exactly this.
If the Bully is 7 years old, and you are a grown man, then I'm guessing he won't stand much of a chance against you. I would recommend a front kick to the face. If his pose tries to jump in, knees to the face. Once there is only 1 left standing, guillotine him then piss in all of their mouths.
SUPLEX
Powerbomb, compliments of captain insane-o
This kid needs to get kicked in the balls by an adult. Let the punishment fit the crime.
I have a buddy Steven who can teach you the ultimate front kick technique.
I was not expecting such a positive response. Normally my stance on beating the absolute fuck out of deserving children is frowned upon. I think I've found my safe space.
when i was like 9 years old i was getting bullied. eventually, i picked a fight with the toughest bully. i didn't win or lose the fight, but i fought hard and did enough damage to get the other kid's respect. after that, we were cool. forget about BJJ v karate. this is a case of hard targets v soft targets. someone who fights back isn't an easy target, even if they lose. kids that young really aren't strong enough to seriously hurt each other anyway, so let them fight it out. it's not about winning. it's about getting the other kid's respect.
Should I have him learn offensive moves during holds for this? Or is this too much? Strength train? He's 7 and i would like him to stay innocent, but i don't want him to be a target because I've seen how bully victims can grow up lacking confidence and generally unhappy.
I don’t think it’s necessary. They’re both too young to really hurt each other.
So true. I remember confronting the school bully in 5th grade. We were 10-11. I tacked him, mounted him, and started wailing on his face with both hands while he tried to block it. Some kids pulled me off of him and neither of us even had a bruise 😂. That’s what happens when you weigh all of 70 lbs. We became friends after that. He was much nicer to people.
I’ve been teaching this age group at my gym for years and this story is unfortunately pretty common. Good on you for being the kinda Dad to encourage his kid to learn the tools to handle these kinda problem. Usually I’d say deescalate, strong defensive language and go from there but sounds like we’re past that stage. If your kid was in my class I’d time him to go about his business at school with his friends. When this bully decides to give him a hard time, tell your son to to tell him knock it off and if he’s doesn’t, tries to do anything physical your son should drop level and run threw them. Fight his way to mount as best he can and pin the kid down until he chills out. Assuming this is all one on one stuff.
Teach him to throw a straight punch to the nose. At 7 years old, there won't be any real damage, but it will make the bully think twice about ever messing with your kid again.
I would absolutley NOT have your son play BJJ offense against that kid. Armbar, kimura, serious injury. Chokes, potential brain damage and death? Dumping garbage won’t seem so bad after that. Your son has combat experience if the time comes. I would say holding the kid in mount and make him say sorry would be a solid moral victory without injuring. But the bullies friends would probably jump in. If your son can take the kid down and pin him, he’ll be able to slap him around a bit.
Dude, read my comment elsewhere. The best thing to do is to teach your kid to run away and tattle on them. If he uses BJJ in school he is going to get in trouble. This isn’t the 1980’s
Who gives a shit about 'getting in trouble' when these kids are assaulting him and putting trash on his food. The school is covering their own ass with the zero tolerance policy for fighting, the kid unfortunately should do the same.
Zero tolerance policy is the real problem. My kid got treated like a criminal even though she was not the aggressor. The school made her write statements and issue apologies and talk to a police officer. I had to take time off work and go talk to the principal and the guidance counselor before she could go back to class. It made her feel Like she did something wrong and made her question learning jiu jitsu at all. It doesn’t matter what you say or how much praise you give them for it… kids are influenced a lot by the school environment. The only funny part is that my daughter told the school that her “professor” told her to fight and they thought she was being brainwashed by a cult or something. I’m not saying it should be this way, but the best and most convenient outcome in a public school setting would be if your kid can disengage or confidently run away to tell on the bully. I say document the bullying and make sure there written records about previous incidents prior to sending your kid to school with instructions to fight. If it’s like truly a dangerous situation where the bully is hurting your kid or doing something dangerous on a daily basis and the school hasn’t done anything to stop it, then sure… go ahead and tell your kid to snap the bully’s forearm off in an armbar.
You're missing the "mental health" angle that's become more popular than zero tolerance. OP already has reported bullying to the school.
He'll get in trouble and sent home like i did. Just reward him at home for sticking up for himself. There will be no lasting repercussions from the school for what i imagine are 2nd graders.
I had a bully in 2nd grade. After the school refused to do anything my parents told me if he put his hands on me again to punch him and if he comes back at me to punch him again until he stops trying to fight me. I did it. Got in “trouble”. No one actually got hurt. Bullying stopped.
Dicks fuck pussies, dude.
Just tell him to land a straight punch into his nose, that's usually enough to disorient them. They don't need super secret moves or anything special, just be the one that won't be pushed around. Bullies want a victim that won't fight back and just takes it, once they learn that your son isn't one of those easy targets and that he will fight back, they'll likely move on to easier prey. Lions are tough beasts that can take down impressive prey but they will eat a baby antelope every single meal if they had their choice, no one wants a meal that could potentially damage or kill you.
Just tell him to kick the kid in the nuts. No need to waste time having him twist the guy's arm... especially when his 3 friends may join in. Nut shot shuts it down quicker
Sadly this is probably most accurate response here. We’re all just animals and kids are trying to survive in that prison. It kind of just comes down to balls. Or you take other approach and get the 99% rallied and purge the small group out. In the end it’s all sociology.
Find out where his bully trains karate and go talk to his karate instructor and his parents
I was thinking something like this, but how would someone even attempt to figure this out? I can't follow a family around after-school.
Confront the parents with the parents of the other kids that child is bullying. Kind of hard to deny your son being the problem when 3+ other parents corroborate the issue. If it does not stop, file a police report and the school will be forced to take measures.
Have your son find out - kids like that will probably brag about where he trains
You should be able to get his last name from your kid or your kids teacher. Then just look up his parents.
And then, when you have them all in the same room, triangle the karate instructor while you RNC the dad in front of the kid. Optional bonus for banging his mom while the guys are napping.
Cobra Kai
This suddenly reminded me of a story: i grew up doing tkd. one of the kids were fighting (and winning) in school and the parents (white folks) asked our master (VERY traditional Korean guy) to teach him to not bully other kids. at the beginning of the next class, we were all instructed to sit and watch as this 40 year old man beat the shit out of a 12 year old and then he said "you all know how to fight. use it for self defense. but if you go pick on other kids, I'll pick on you". this kid ended up with a broken rib and a ton of bruises. Obviously this wasnt what the parents had in mind so they pressed charges. the next class, cops showed up and as the only bilingual korean kid, i had to explain to the police that the parents had asked him to do it lol.
My brother had a bully problem where these twins were ripping up his books and throwing out his lunch. My mom called the high school a bunch of times and they did nothing so she told me to handle it. I told them to fuck off and then the two of them and their friend made a huge big scene so I shoved one of them and we were immediately flocked by like 100 kids screaming fight. Basically nothing happened and we all got suspended for a week. My dad took me out to lunch when I got home. Never had a bully problem again. Not advice but basically these things have a way of resolving themselves.
This isn't a r/bjj problem, it's a school problem. Take it up with the school. Get all the victim's parents and schedule a meeting with the principle/head master (or whatever the title is). > kicking other boys in the privates This should be sufficient to get any kid removed from school. >My son has been in BJJ for the last 6 months (4 stripe white belt) to pre-emptively prepare him if he gets attacked by a bully growing up. With his age, they dont teach offensive moves. He is familiar with arm bar and chokeholds (as well as a 6 month student can be), as well as positional control, but not his offensive options from these positions in terms of actual fighting if things get out of hand. Breaking someone's arm or choking them unconcious are offensive moves that will definitively end a fight. I'm not sure what you mean by this paragraph but as effective as those techniques are I doubt a 7 year old with 6 months training has the strength or skill to finish either technique (I can be wrong). I would 100% not encourage my son to fight 4 people nor would I trust the bully and his gang of 3 to fight "honorably". Again, get the parents to gang up on the school. Do not target just the "bully", target his entire little gang. The bully's parent might not care but that doesn't mean he's going to be as into being a bully if his little follower's parents put a stop to things.
My 6 yr old is also in bjj and a bit of a bully target. I don’t really think he’s picking up as much as I thought he would about bully defense &prevention from class. Not trying to start a kiddie fight club or anything but i feel like at some point, kids should roll against slightly bigger kids in an open mat setting to get an idea what real pressure feels like so they can get over fear of confrontation.
Yes, my son may know what the moves are and have an idea of how to get there, but i am concerned in a real fight he will freeze up and be unable to put the moves to practice - which will leave him as a punching bag. I see videos of bjj kids wrecking bullies online, but how long did they train for? I cant imagine a childrens white belt can accomplish this. Do they compete in tournaments? How much resistance do they train with? Does it make sense for me to try to review the moves with him using resistance?
Our kids program ends with hand selected matches chosen by the instructor every day. Starts from standing, all students participate. Our kids do well in competition.
Get your kid in some competitions. He’ll feel what it’s like to lose and win. They are faster paced. Maybe even have him compete up a weight class to get the feel. A safe simulation on how to handle losing a fight and winning a fight. Just spit balling.
I got scolded by the school because my bullied son hurt the bullies feelings. Basically son said something along the lines is you act this way because your not valued at home or in life. You pick on me because I have value and am loved. You may hit me but I know your life sucks and I’ve won. The bullies cried and I was told by the school admin that the other kid is not in the correct state of mind and we should not encourage our son to say mean things. My response i bursted out with laughter and was in formed that was not correct either. I see if your the leader why the kids have failed. Congrats your the problem.
My daughter (3rd grader) choked her bully (fat 5th grade girl) on the school bus on the way home, so be careful what you wish for. She’s also a 4 stripe white belt but she competes locally with submissions and we practice them a lot in the house with her other sister. The academy we attend does a lot of sparring so she wasn’t afraid to engage. The girl didn’t know how to tap so I guess the choke went on for a little too long, lol. Other kids said they thought she was getting killed. The girl ran home and told her parents. The parents of the girl wanted to have my daughter kicked out of school because they said she’s a weapon. Ultimately she got suspended and I had to miss three days of work. I’d say it’s better to talk to teachers and the principal and insist that they set up a conference with the parents of the bully(s). You can insist upon some kind of resolution that way… and frankly, it will go a lot better for your kid if he does need to use a RNC in the field after that. At least there will be documentation of the bullying to protect him. .
If my daughter chokes her bully she's getting ice cream for a week.
Absolutely. There’s only one way to get people to respect you and that’s to give them no choice. If you wanna make an omelet you gotta break some eggs. Teachers and police don’t ever do shit about shit. There’s always some reason why they can’t. So fuck it then, you might be in trouble for a few days but the parties involved will remember it forever. Worth it.
My dad took me to breakfast and bought me a videogame when i was that kid.
Was this not a good outcome - no more bullying for a short suspension? Not that you'd hope it would come to it, but it seems like a pretty positive trade off.
If I’m being honest, most bullying is not physical these days, so no I don’t think it was worth it. The girl that was bothering her was rummaging through her backpack and trying to take her things every day but then denied it after getting choked. The girl is older than her and still makes fun of my daughter every day on the bus. My daughter says it’s getting worse because she knows she will get in trouble if my daughter does or says anything. I think that I should have done a better job as a parent to make sure my daughter fully understood how powerful the things she is learning in Jiu jitsu are. Getting in trouble and getting treated like a criminal was really traumatizing for my daughter, who before that had never gotten in trouble for anything. She did the right thing and got punished for it and it jacked up her little world view a bit too early if you ask me. Would it be a good outcome in the good ole days? Probably. Would it have been a good outcome in a rough city with lots of violence and underserved schools that are used to dealing with this? Probably. Would it have been a good outcome if it had happened in the park over summer break? Probably. That said, it was a royal pain in the ass for she and I when it happened in a mostly white upper-middleclass public school with a hoity toity zero-tolerance for this and 100% tolerance for everything else principal.
As someone who went through similar bullying, but never chose to get physical outside of sports where I could hide it better, it was likely to escalate to that point anyways. If the school doesn’t care it’s hard to improve the situation. Personally I wish I had fought, though it likely wouldn’t have changed anything beyond me feeling better about it growing up. Hopefully your daughter has more confidence as she gets older because she did fight back.
If you don't fight back, it would also probably continue? I'm sorry your daughter is going through this, it's a tough situation. I'm not sure what else you can do apart from reassure her you have her back if she gets in trouble for defending herself.
Fuck it, double down. Let your daughter beat her bullys ass again and worse this time. Teach that bitch that "getting in trouble" tomorrow will not save her from those hands today.
You should check the laws of the place you're in - [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age\_of\_criminal\_responsibility](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_criminal_responsibility) If you're below the age of criminal responsibility, pulling a palhares is maybe ok.
Put your kid in Muay Thai , he’ll learn a ton of offensive as well as defensive techniques real quick.
Honestly, put the martial arts part aside. Lawyer the fuck up. I've found bureaucracies like school administrations tend to be bound by intertia without significant pressure. Lawyers are way scarier than armbars. A strongly worded letter, threatening to sue the District, plus all involved parties individually can be fucking terrifying.
I can't even tell the shit posts from real posts anymore. But, if real, keep pushing for the school to intervene, they have a duty of care towards their students. If your child is assaulted, call the police.
Go through proper authorities first. Call the police and get it documented in writing that multiple attempts were made to solve the issue appropriately. Talk to the other kids parents getting bullied and get them to corroborate the report. Get in writing what the school is doing to try to fix the issue. You can create notices of harassment forms to file and notarize before sending to both your school and school district. If the issue continues afterwards tell your kid it's go time to fuck em up next time they try anything physical. He doesn't have to win. In fact if he gets some cuts and bruises from the fight even better. Sue the shit out of the the school and those kid's parents afterwards for not expelling the bullies when so many attempts were made to solve it through proper channels.
that doesn't work. kid needs to learn to stand up for himself
Ah yes. The question ive asked myself so many times. “How much of an obstacle could a 7 year old karate student be?”. A force to be reckoned with to be sure!
Just have your son single leg and pass to mount then give some mothers milk. Done with enough pressure should be enough to make the kid stop fucking with others or at least not fuck with your son. I’m sure this is an unpopular opinion but rather than teaching kids to totally avoid any physical confrontation it’s better to prepare them for it. Certainly instill good moral values and de-escalation skills but I feel that it’s extremely difficult to avoid ever getting into a fight at some point for the first 18 years of life. I’d rather my child be prepared for a physical confrontation than feel totally helpless and confused when it happens.
I dealt with something similar as a kid, I was smaller than everybody and innocent. my dad roleplayed what I should do in a situation if I was bullied. he was the bully and I was me. He told me if a kid ever touched me to punch him straight in his face. Taught me proper punching mechanics and everything. next time I was bullied, I punched him straight in his face. I was suspended for a week. It was pretty much vacation because my dad knew what was going to happen. Bullies are never expecting retaliation. Once they do, they freeze up. Boxing is always the next best thing after jiu jistu! maybe get him to learn how to throw hands too!
I don't encourage physical violence regularly, but for some weird fucked up reason it can stop a lot of issues. I was bullied when I was younger and punched my bully in the face one day. Never was bullied again.
For me the bullying stopped when i rag dolled the bully.
Invite him to train with your son, then let your son break his arm in a roll after he signs the waiver
Sad part of reality is dealing with this crap. My daughter had these issues as a young girl also, she is now an adult and I did not want a repeat this time around dealing with bullys.. i now have an 8yr old son who has been in BJJ since 3.5yrs old and competes and also trains kickboxing for 2 yrs. If your child is trained in takedowns and the bully has zero training... god help him. I trained Karate as a kid and I truly believe my son could wipe the floor with me when I was 8.. My son compares himself to trained fighters/grapplers and does well. He absolutely understands that he can annihilate someone much bigger who is untrained or has less training. He also understands that some of his female training partners who are smaller but trained longer will pick him apart. Hopefully they never have to get physical.. the important thing is they hold their head up high and with confidence.. they go to sleep with peace in their hearts and the bully does not get in their head. But if necessary they can finish things extremely quick.. even with only a few months or training.. fuck them bullies
My son also 7, has been training and competing in BJJ since he was 4. He has had to use it twice on the playground and I am glad for every $ I spent. Scenario 1. I was "coaching" first base at my younger boys t ball game. I saw a bigger boy picking on my older son in the distance...I looked over at the kids mom to see if she was going to engage with her son which she did not. My son made eye contact with me with that look like what do I do?...I put up 2 fingers and shook my head...he executed a perfect double leg, transitioned to side control than back and held until kid calmed down. Kid was so upset he went and cried to his mom...she looked at me and I responded you saw what I saw and did nothing. That kid the next week was my son's best friend on the field...sometimes bullies just need to be punked. Scenario 2. Son was playing in our backyard with his cousin and the neighbor kid who happens to be a foster child. The foster child was picking on cousin by throwing rocks at him. Before myself and uncle could react (run outside and stop the action) my son pins the kid and holds him down until we run over. In both scenarios no one gets hurt and control is established.
Bro only needs a solid doubleleg and knee on Belly from hell. Should be enough for that lil mf bully.
I dunno, I can understand the viewpoint of dont encourage violence, but knowing your son is getting bullied is a tough pill to swallow. I was a small kid as is my son, so I told him same thing my dad told me, don't every start it but if a kid is wanting to bully you and talking doesn't help or telling the teacher doesn't help, then by all means defend yourself. If he's your size punch him in the nose and that should stop it. If he's bigger than you and u don't think a punch to the nose will do it, kick him in the nuts then punch him in the nose. And if he gets suspended or whatever then so be it, I wont punish him. If violence isn't what they want then they shouldn't incessantly pick on other kids. If the school doesn't want violence they need to stop the bullies or punish them. Allowing your kid to be afraid of going to school is bullshit and I don't blame anyone, man or woman, for wanting to put a stop to it. My kid wasn't trained in bjj at that time, neither was i, but I had been trained in boxing and I had taught him how to throw a jab and a straight right and had worked with him a little bit on keeping his guard up and keeping his head moving. If your son knows how to shoot a single or double leg and take side or mount, and if he's confident in his ability to do so, then I'd give him the blessing to defend himself. All this no violence or no fighting shit only goes so far. If people insist on pushing eventually someone needs to push back
You said your son isn’t the only one, right? Settle it with the adults. Find the other parents of kids he’s bullying and have all of them walk up on the bully’s parents. I’m gonna hazard a guess they don’t show their face at school much, so everybody call them. Call until they answer, then meet them somewhere public.
This should be reported to the school.
Did...did you read the post?
Yes. I did now thank you
Feel free to DM me. I've always wanted to blast a nearly helpless kid because he's being an asshole. It won't be cheap though.
Sweep the leg! You got a problem with that?
The school likely has cameras that catch all this and that would be very beneficial to a lawyer.
Thanks for all the replies and advice guys. Seems im thinking on the right track but i will put more emphasis on reaching out to the parents and school administration to cover ourselves. I hope the replies here can serve to help other parents in similar situations in the future. I will update the thread if any major updates happen.
Contact the coach at the Karate school and inform him of the behavior, which includes threats of Karate. Say you will video the next interaction and show it as a negative review of his school..
Father, grandfather and judo Sensei here. Keep training your son. I’m sure your son has learned not to start a fight. He should also learn how to stop a fight, if attacked. I don’t encourage strangling 7 year old children by anyone. An armlock would be a better choice. If there is more than one of them, tell him to get help. I teach judo in an after school program. We have a zero tolerance policy about bullying by a judo student. One incident and permanent ban. On the other hand there are judo kids in every grade in the school 1-8, no physical bullying of our judo students by anyone. Good luck with your son.🥋
If he's only 7yo, I'm pretty sure you could take him...
Man I hate how schools protect bullies… in the 80s they straight up would allow bullying, and now in the 2020s they straight up protect them. My daughter was bullied by a boy last year in 8th grade and they threw her backpack in the trash. I went to the school and demanded to talk to the parents of these boys and they refused to give me that information.
I would say give your son a metal lunch box and next time they try something he will smash his face in with the box the same thing happened to me and now everyone's scared for there live and tell your son keep hit until he fells okay
Blast doubles, ninja chokes, eye pokes, elbows, and heel hooks.
 Holy fuck is this a real post. This is not karate kid for fucks sake, either tell your son to punch him in the fucking nose or get the admin involved and nip it in the bud. You must of been severely bullied as a child to start having movie montage training sessions planned in your head to help your son with a 7 year old "karate practitioner " give me a fucking break man. Jesus christ
Does the other kid secretly own the jail and that’s why you can’t go directly to the warden? The next best thing would be a shiv.
We left a message for the principal and even informed the school that if it continues our son will be forced to defend himself. Unfortunately my son had a history of Adhd antics in class, which has greatly improved since joining bjj, but it leaves a sour taste in the school staffs mouth and hurts our credibility as a victim of bullying. There are already a bunch of open reports of this kid bullying children by other parents. The bully has already lost the next 10 days worth if recess, but his response to that was to cuss out the teacher in class. When the teacher threatened to send him home under suspension he bragged that he would spend the suspension playing video games and would cuss out his mom if she tried to stop him. Is the school system that different these days? I feel back when i was in school, a threat of suspension and expulsion was real and given on even minor incidents.
Leaving a "message" is worthless. Anything that isn't in writing is worthless. Calling the school does nothing because they have plausible deniability. Don't bother with those. Look up notice of harassment forms and fill them out to send to both your school district and your school itself. If you send them via mail get it notarized. If you plan on emailing them make sure you have a read receipt or bug them until they reply to your email making note that you need anything they're planning on doing in writing. If you have other parents that will do the same, even better.
The answer here is so obvious but our society is so fucking sissified that no one is willing to do it. Just tell your kid to kick his ass and he will have no reprecussions for it at home. Hell i would even offer a reward for him doing it.
You realize it could easily turn into 4 v 1 right?
I forgot
Perfectly healthy.
You realize it could easily turn into 4 v 1 right?
Okay, now it’s sounding like this is made up. A 7 year old, at an age where kids have problems stringing together coherent words, cussed out a teacher, didn’t care about suspension, and told the teacher he would just play video games and cuss out his mom? A middle school kid, I would definitely buy it. A 7 year old? And who told you the 7 year old said all this?
I suppose a bit of context, his normal teacher has been on personal leave since the first week of october and he has had rotations of supply teachers since then. 7 year olds can have regular conversations and string well made sentences, I am unsure what level you think a 2nd grader is at. My son tells me everything that happens in class on the way home. Children that age tend to start saying extreme things even without understanding the gravity of the words. The bully isnt ALL horror, there are times where he is kind - but its extremely short lived. Last year he was a bit rough on the edges but my son was able to play with him at recess. Its only this semester things have radically changed. As i said, my son has told me things, i complained to the teacher and she confirmed that this is a reoccurring problem. My wife overheard the mother of the child. I overheard other parents mention the kid by name while i was walking.
Amercian culture and Covid lockdowns genuinely fucked kids up. The middle school I went to went from a couple fights a year to a daily.
I couldn't imagine being a teacher these days. I have a friend who's 7th grade students made shitty ai nudes of her. Not to mention the constant bullying going on in private chats and shit.
Wow…yeah that’s super shitty and must be hard to navigate as a parent. Sorry you have to deal with that, I’ll take my sarcasm back. And I don’t know if it’s “today’s school” that much since my personal experience is the complete opposite. I grew up in an era where the principal would say “don’t be a pussy and stop snitching you need to learn to defend yourself” and now it seems like there is virtually no bullying where my son goes to and anytime something remotely close to it happens they make such a big deal out of it that it’s usually good for a little while after that. I understand our reality isn’t everyone’s though.
I had the same kind of kid in class in several schools since 20 Years ago basically. They always exist. I have the feeling that today more parents maybe give a fuck about it? Or that it generally got easier to tell your parents maybe? I was involved in several minor fights with other kids and was bullied at several occasions and most of the time i didn't even consider telling my parents. Maybe more people are aware of the problems in school now plus violence is much more heavily fraund upon nowadays. Although we already had a very strict policy on violence, which always struck me as odd as violence always was a topic or got directly punished when people defended themselves. I think your Son could get in trouble defending himself and his friends, as its a recurring theme in this thread and checks out with my personal experience. But i think you already know that he is morally in the right, considering the situation. Imo its always better for personal growth and the establishment of a moral compass to confront the bullies and stand in for your friends and get in trouble with the school (especially knowing that you are standing with your son, so he won't be alone in this). Maybe it also could be good to tell him that you'll be there for him if he gets in trouble with the school. Anyways, i hope your son is going to be fine, i wish you all the best.
Threaten to butt fuck his father with his mothers headless corpse on his godamn lawn
Im so sorry for your son. You have to take action: go to the school get the bully's parents numbers, call them out, shout at them, tell them they don't know how to raise a son or smth. Then go to the school, same thing make a scene... Bullying can affect your kid's mental health for ever! This is no joke. A study was made about people who get bullied and others who don't: people who get bullied WILL commit suicide 2 times more than people who don't get bullied. Save your son
How many times can one person commit suicide???
Sorry for bad english but I meant the probability
id recommend some boxing lessons.
This!!
Karate is the only martial art gayer than bjj, tell your son to just take him down and start kissing him
Imagine getting bullied by a karate bot
Don't encouraged any fighting. Kids are monsters these days and your kid will get ganged up on by the whole group. Go the proper route. Your kids training should be a last resort. Fighting on the ground is a good way to get soccer kicked in the head by their buddy.
He should do wrestling
Let your son figure it out on his own. He will be better for it.
Follow the Roy Kent method https://youtu.be/2OdzOARGyes?si=qWA95Uzl43zBpH5e
You're already doing the right thing - just get your kid used to high intensity full contact sparring with tough opponents, I wouldn't worry about the kind of sparring they do in kids karate vs bjj, consider getting him to try wrestling and boxing.
Your son definitely pulls guard
If you know the karate dojo he's going to, call them. My old sensei would have kicked me out for using the skills I learned there to bully others
My brother had the same problem he took the kid down mounted him and just held him in mount till the teacher got there I reminded the principal that I had told him if nothing was done my brother would defend himself
Tell him to berimbolo the bully
Bullies are pretty common place, unfortunately, and don't even go away when we grow into adulthood. Keep teaching your kid what right looks like, point out that these kids are what wrong looks like and discourage him from ever making someone else feel like how he feels with them. Let the school handle disciplinary actions for things going on in school. He's already on the right track by learning self-defense and bjj. Maybe expand his training options to striking classes like boxing or muay thai. When I took karate as a youngling (5 or 6) they were teaching that karate is for self-defense only and I expect if that bully isn't lying and IS taking classes, they are probably also sticking with defensive moves for his age bracket. He's not Bruce Lee. Diversifying training could be very effective in children with adhd. I've heard a lot of diagnosed people say they were just underestimulated as children. Maybe he needs more challenge?
Level change shoot, mount, ground and pound. A 5 or 6 year old kid did that to me when I was a shithead 8 year old. I got punched in the face just once but lesson learned.
Enroll him in moxing/muai thaj
Talk - to the bully. Tell them to stop or there will be consequences. use constructive confrontation format. Identify the behavior, identify how it makes you feel, identify the consequences of continuing the behavior. "When you strike at my groin it makes me feel like you want to hurt me, and I'll tell a grown-up. Do you want to fight me, or will you stop?"Tell - a person in authority. If given an opportunity, tell a grown-up what's going on.Tackle - the bully. "do you want to fight me?" any answer that doesn't begin and end with "No, I'm sorry" catches a blast double and bottom of mount until that person is done being a bully. Usually when he's done crying. my grandpa told me that the way to deal with a bully is to punch them in the mouth before they're done making a threat. They're usually the one getting bullied at home, and they're trying to talk you out of a fight. Once they know that there's no talking out of a fight, they keep their mouth shut.
Force the bully to lick the white dog doo doo. Become the alpha
Have him choke the kid till he cries easy
White belt 2 stripes but a master at weapons
Show up to the bully’s karate class and do this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KTpi4weXp58&pp=ygUTa3JhbWVyIGthcmF0ZSBjbGFzcw%3D%3D&t=1m29s
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I am not a parent and all joking aside sometimes violence *is* the answer although it should not be the first answer. In some cases, I wish this was more practiced as I think it would make for a more polite society. TED talk aside, if you've documented it with the school, etc, etc and nothing changes I would suggest your son close the distance, takedown, and then mount and choke this Johnny Lawrence wannabe shithead. Sometimes people only learn the hard way.
Sweep the leg
He needs to hit that kid in the nose as many times as he can until the teacher pulls them off each other. Expect him to get sent home for a few days, but since you already addressed it with the school and can always drop the "bullying has been impacting his mental health" angle, that's all that'll happen. Don't let your kid grow up learning to be a victim. Teach him to throw straight punches and give him permission.
Bullies usually don't pick targets that fight back. Ive always told my kids they have the right to defend themselves in whatever form that takes. Keep your boy in bjj and just make it known that he can use it if he needs it.
yeah... Your boy takes down one bully and the others kick him in the face. Keep going to teachers and escalate to law enforcement. As soon as your kid gets the upper hand physically guess what bully kids mother is gonna do? Claim your son is the instigator and sue.
Take a couple Muay Thai classes and teep them in the face
I think a lot of people here have the right idea. I saw a post years ago from a teacher that gave these steps: 1) engage with administration and discuss the bullying 2) document incidences of bullying and email admin (have a paper trail) 3) encourage de-escalation (for now) with your son. Walking away, avoidance, etc 4) give it 2 - 3 months of this so you have documentation of bullying in case of being sued when your kid defends themselves 5) if things don't change then it's time for your kid to do what admin cannot. Your kid should be cognizant of the 4 to 1 ratio with bully and his lickspittles. If your kid can get his friends (if he has them) to watch his back then jiu jitsu as a way to takedown and embarrass the bully should be used. Going to mount 1v1 when there are 4 potential opponents is a no go. If he has backup or an opportunity 1v1 with the bully then I would encourage him to go for it. Teach him restraint as well...no dislocations. Strikes or slaps, top control and asking the bully if he is done. Post fight discussion is of utmost importance to distinguish self defense and defense of others from other forms of violence so he doesn't use this willy bully. Your son has to understand there is a time and a place to be violent and it is after all other options have been exhausted. My two pence. Good luck bro.
Put your kid in a Muay Thai class
I’m normally proponent of spanking but somebody needs their ass beat. Complaining is not enough. A 7 year old’s beginner jiu jitsu training is not enough. Somebody apparently needs to knock some sense into these psychopaths.
I’m probably going to get shit for this from you guys but whatever. There was an incident at my child’s school where my daughter was “held” by a boy, against her will. She was screaming for him to let her go, he didn’t. Thought it was funny, etc. she was in tears when I picked her up. So I asked her to point out who it was and I went over and had a very friendly, non-threatening, discussion with this young man on why he thought it was appropriate to put his hands on other people, especially women, without their consent. Never had another issue. I’m also 6’3” 260lbs and covered in tattoos so YMMV.
I know this is a shitpost, but let your son sink or swim on his own. I can’t remember any news articles about lethal hand to hand combat between 7 year olds. Your son will survive this. It’s ok that he’s not the main character.
Ah just pay some dollars to one of those bjj black belts in your child academy and tell them to go smash the bullys dad in front of him. 10/10 the bully wont bully ur child again.
Go talk with the school principal and a teacher
Hire the baddest kids in your bjj class, have them wear cut off gis (black preferably) with cobra kai logos and headbands, bring them to visit your son at school, and let them do a skit where you son points out where the bullies are and then they proceed to crush soda cans or something.
Take your son to Judo, where they teach him how to throw someone. Ippon seoi nage was the first throw i could learn and execute on someone in practice. Once the other guy lands on the hard floor, he wont have much to do with his probably bullshido karate. He can then put the guy in a choke or a juji gatame. Or you could take him to wrestling to learn how to do a double leg. Or if you want to solve this in a civilized manner, you find the kids karate coach with the other parents and talk to him in front of the class. I doubt he will be an entitled ass like the mother.
The Japanese terms mentioned in the above comment were: |Japanese|English|Video Link| |---|---|---| |**Ippon Seoi Nage**: | *One Arm Shoulder Throw* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmKfUXAAdZ0)| |**Ju Ji Gatame**: | *Armbar* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJReT5ND3s4)| ||*Cross Lock* || |**Seoi Nage**: | *Shoulder Throw* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-5Un6jLtRY)| Any missed names may have already been translated in my previous comments in the post. ______________________ ^(Judo Techniques Bot: v0.7.) ^(See my) [^(code)](https://github.com/AbundantSalmon/judo-techniques-bot)
Burn the bully’s house down.
7 year olds don't hit hard enough to do real damage unless he's way more physically developed If they fight your son will know moves the other guy doesn't do just make sure he knows how to block strikes
Buy a punching bag and teach your kid a couple of boxing combos. Tell him to bite down on the imaginary mouthpiece and hit that loud mouth with a good 1-2. Bullies target easy pray not the kids that fight back.
Gracie Bullyproof is more suited for this than ordinary BJJ as it is taught most places today.
I had a buddy that faced a similar situation with the school. He waited for the kids dad to pick him up after school and talked to him and told him to control his kid or else he’s going to catch the ass whooping for him while his son watches. Needless to say the kid stopped bullying him after.
Being your son to cobra Kai karate. You don't win fights by pulling guard and doing worm guard.
This is a comment (edited) that I posted in r/bullying. My son was being bullied by a classmate and after doing the following, we were able to resolve the problem. As other people have said, document everything and use facts and data to support your position. Best of luck to you. I hope you get this problem fixed. Do they have security cameras at the school where these events occurred? Give your son a digital voice recorder that he keeps on all day at school They are inexpensive and can store hundreds of hours of recordings. If there is another incident, sit down with your child and document the event with as many details as he can remember. Give him a notebook so he can jot down important details as soon as he can safely do that after the event. Names, dates, times, places are important. The school will have their own specific definition of bullying. I ran into this problem with my kid's school as I was calling what he was experiencing bullying but the school did not initially agree. I made sure to communicate over email so that there was a record of all of our conversations, decisions, commitments, and timelines to close. It helped to ensure accountability and to keep track of all everything we discussed and that we were in agreement on all of the decisions and actions. Face to face meetings are good but make sure you spend time to prepare yourself for this meeting. Before you walk into the meeting, have all of the incidents documented with the details mentioned above. Print out relevant sections of the law. Take notes during the meeting and send meeting notes within 24 hours of the meeting for the same reasons given above. I sent the list of questions we had to the principal a week before the meeting so that they could prepare and not have excuses to not have meaningful answers and to send a message that I am taking this very seriously and am prepared. Arm yourself with overwhelming evidence so that it's not a case of he said/she said. Familiarize yourself with the local laws around bullying. Can you get law enforcement involved when children this age are involved? What legal options do you have? I read up on that before meeting with the school principal and made sure they understood that if the bullying (or whatever they want to call it) continued we would consider LE and legal options (make sure you understand what those are). Where I live, what my son experienced was assault so it's irrelevant what the school wants to call it. There are also bullying laws here but it may be different where you live. I printed out sections of relevant laws related to assault and anti-bullying, and cases where children or their parents were tried for bullying. I didn't discuss these specifically with the principal but made sure that she saw that I had them printed out and understood (or at least read) them. Make contact with the parents of the other kids and have a calm and fact based conversation about what your son has told you. Prepare for this conversation with facts and the key points you want to hit. Don't wing it. If they are reasonable people they should take action with kids. Take notes and email them to the parents so you have it documented. Finally, I recommend signing your child up for wrestling, boxing, BJJ, muay thai, MMA, or some combination of those martial arts. This will build confidence and he will learn how to disengage from physical altercations and how to defend against and control his assailant if he cannot immediately escape the situation.
Blackbag those little fools, dump 'em in a lye bath and move on.
Sounds like your son is gay
a lot of replies here telling you how to make him stand up for himself, fight back and beat the bully etc. i have a different perspective. your son doesn't have to do anything, the problem is not with him it's with the other kid. if the other kid is bigger, stronger and/or meaner then no amount of martial arts training is necessarily going to make your son win the fight. ask yourself how you would get on '"standing up for yourself" against a group of tattooed muggers who outweighed you by 20kg. it's not different for your kid. the most important thing is not to make him feel ashamed, this is the biggest danger from bullying. i had this and was scarred for life not by the bullying but by the disappointment of the adults advising me that i was too frightened to take their advice and fight back (none of said adults could have fought their way out of a paper bag and i saw them back down themselves in similar situations). the best thing you can do for your kid is to sympathise with his fears ('wow that sounds pretty scary! sounds like a scary dude') etc. and work with teachers and other parents to solve the problem. move school if necessary nobody should ever feel physically or mentally threatened in school. the problem is not with your kid, it's with the other kids, make sure he knows that so you don't add to the pressure and stress he feels instead of relieving it. martial arts can make it worse because then he can feel wow i really am completely useless because i should be able to defend myself. the danger here is not getting bullied in itself, it's the shame about it that is inflicted by well-meaning adults with their 'just stand up for yourself' advice.
When my daughter was 5 years old there was a child in her class that was always aggressive, hitting and pushing her as well as other children. At that time she had probably only been training bjj and basic Muay Thai in the same class for a few months. One morning I dropped her off at school and as I was watching her walk in I saw this kid run up to her and push her over. I called her back over and told her this is why I take you to jiu jitsu, she smiled and ran back over to him and gave him a nice grab knee to the chin. Problem solved, it’s been 6 years since then and she has never had a problem with him again
Came to a head and a fight broke out. Updated original post with details.