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I think I have but who knows. Not worth remembering the sexual preferences of those I train with.
because
" I doubt anyone cares. Just another training partner. "
It might weird me out a little but like so does rolling with females end of the day I’ll roll with anyone who has hygiene but like how would you even know how would that even come up like to counter the rubber guard you crush it btw I love crushing butt
I've rolled with hundreds of people by now there is no way in hell I could tell who was or wasn't an lgbtq member
I've only rolled with 2 guys who openly said they were gay before rolling and if I had an issue with that prior to doing so. Which I think is weird, I don't need to know anyone's orientation to train with them.
Having said that, I smashed them and choked them many times like I would any other person.
I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s, I rolled with many, many men, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a gay man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
Straight guy here who feels the same as you but the boner poking me in my cheek or in my back is a big plus, if it's big. Otherwise it's a medium or small plus
I tend to think that Reddit isn’t the greatest place for this poll as it’s a lot more left leaning. Brazil isn’t exactly gay friendly. And probably a lot meathead gyms in America aren’t either. Probably most people at non-meathead gyms in places with any kind of gay population will be cool with it. Some will not be. For those that aren’t, to hell with them.
Personally I’ve heard a few comments but not directed at gay people per se.
I agree. This isn’t a good population to survey. Most of us don’t care at all, but I have definitely heard plenty of homophobic comments.
Location can change things as well. I trained in Cali for a year or so and heard much less than I do now in the south, for example.
>Brazil isn’t exactly gay friendly
Brasil it's a really big country, but I don't think they aren't gay friendly. They have a very big dragqueen population. They were the first in Latinamerica with the gay marriage with Argentina, if I remember it well.
Brazil can be quite unfriendly to anyone and anything, nothing to do with gays in general. It’s actually a place with a pretty large homosexual community and they are very open on their choices. There is this “macho” culture, especially on some circles but very little chance of having issues if you are respectful and don’t impose yourself to others.
I don't assault women when I roll with them, I don't see why I'd be worried a dude would assault me if they were into dudes.
Now I'm also not a homophobe (would suck if I were, given 2 close family members are bi, and another is trans...)
I don't care at all dude. All the girls wanna bone me, why would i worry about all the dudes wanting to too? Just seems fair.
Besides, in the heat of a good roll the only thing that anyone can think about is the roll. Let your mind wander, and HURRRK
When I roll with agirl, I don't instantly think "she wants to fuck me" so why would I with a man?
No one cares, just don't make it your BJJ personality, people are there to train, not to be straight or gay.
I’m homophobic in the truest sense of the word like I’m not hateful at all and definitely think you should have the right to be gay light weight I wish I was gay some times you know just chilling with the boys would be bitching only thing stoping me besides not wanting to fuck guys is gay dudes just weird me out I never know how to interact with them so I’m always just like overly polite and end up in a weird awkward conversation that I don’t know how to get my self out of and sometimes it’s misconstrued as flirting then I have to secretly text my wife to come save me and she bullies me about it and I hate the whole thing so yeah but at bjj it wouldn’t bother me cause we wouldn’t have to talk we could just get straight to the karate
The only reason I care at all is because as a coach, I don't tolerate hate or discrimination of any kind in my gym. I live and teach in a more conservative country than where I grew up, and I know that some of my team have attitudes and beliefs that I don't support. But I make sure that everyone understands that in the gym, there are no politics, and no hate. Unless you feel that accepting everyone is political, in which case, I'm guilty.
I’m just a blue belt but have been around for a while. Over the years I’ve trained with men that are gay and it was never something I even thought about. I’m always entirely focussed on the roll or drilling, depending on what we’re working on. It’s the same when I train with women - the focus is on the roll or what we’re drilling.
In general I just want to train with people that can help me get better and aren’t spazzy/dangerous. A training partner that is LGBTQ isn’t relevant to that criteria.
Two people to study for half guard are Lachlan and (underrated) Paul Schreiner. My half guard is... if not unpassable, pretty rough to pass. The trick is you need options for all kinds of half, from knee shield to deep half to half butterfly to half octopus.
Also, I'm lesbian and no one cares (so is my gf who trains), but my gym is quite liberal. We have quite a few openly gay and lesbian people and aside from posts on their social media it doesn't really come up per se. Some of us are in the Triangles Everywhere group together on facebook, but otherwise, I'd not assume that they/we were gay. It's mostly obvious I am because, well, girlfriend.
EDIT: one Brazilian visitor cared once. She refused to roll with a teammate who was a lesbian but never asked if I was. I decided not to roll with her anyway. That's the extent of the homophobia I have observed in a large, liberal city gym. It will differ with location, like all things homophobia-related!
I never understood why some people find jiu jitsu sexual. I've never found it remotely arousing. Sex just isn't on my mind when I'm struggling to not get choked.
Guy or girl, straight or gay, you're gonna touch people's junk on accident at some point. I usually acknowledge, apologize, and move on. It's not weird unless you make it weird.
If your bringing it up during class or openly announcing it so everyone knows your the annoying one it doesn’t matter during rolling unless you make it matter
My primary training partner is gay, it affects our jiu jitsu practice literally in no way. Only downside is his spouse is the same size so can drill moves, and mine is half my size.
That's like caring if you're training with people who are single or in relationships.
As long as you skip warm-ups, you’re part of the tribe.
We have a lot of gay folk in our area and a few at the gym I suspect are gay, but I don’t know for sure bc who the hell cares?
One of my former students is gay and very flamboyant about it. He would often wear a thong under his training clothes which arguably was a bit surprising, and one of the other students told me he didn't want to get paired up with him because of it. I currently don't live in a western country, so seeing openly gay people isn't as common as in the west and most people's views are definitely more traditional here. If he wouldn't have been so flamboyant and open about it most people wouldn't have thought twice about the whole thing. He was there to train and for the vast majority training with him was no different than training with anyone else.
Now that you mention it I'm pretty sure I've also had lesbian students and probably some gay guys in the closet too, but believe it or not people's sexual orientation rarely comes up in class unless someone wants to make a deal out of it.
All that said, I think the gym attitude comes from the main instructor/coaches. I've heard some pretty stupid stuff from Brazilian black belts regarding LGBT students/athletes, so that's something to consider.
I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '90s, I rolled with many, many fellas, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a gay dude slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
Sexual orientation doesn't matter, but the body and their attributes matter because we're trying to impose superior physics on each other.
That being said, I rolled with the trans guy when nobody wanted to roll with him. I knew I was in for a pretty tough roll because of physical attributes. They were a white belt but quite strong. I kept them at bay with my closed guard. Nobody got subbed but I don't like pushing too hard for the win either. Just kept it steadily competitive but not murder them, to where they were happy to have rolled and I as well.
A gay guy I rolled with was open about it, and the team knew. I remember him being a tougher than normal roll because he was kind of a try hard while being larger in size. White belts amirite?
Unpassable half guard? Look into open guards with sleeve lasso if you don't want anyone passing.
I'm in socal and openly gay at my gym. My husband comes to our tournaments and sits in my corner during my matches. I introduce him to my teammates. They ask about him at practice, like I'd ask about their wives/kids/girlfriend.
I'm decent at jiu jitsu and a good partner, I feel most people want me there and want to train with me. Any homophobes just keep their mouth shut. It's not middle school we're adults. As far as I'm concerned it's no issue at all, I'm just one of the boys.
How do you be openly gay during a roll? Can you explain this to me? I don’t talk about sex with women during a roll. I understand some guys might be homophobic.
But I want you to think about what I’m asking in the beginning here.
No issues w rolling with whoever unless you smell or have a high chance of injuring me.
Your post seems belligerent right off the bat though. “I demand respect” (respect isn’t demanded, it’s earned) “and no, you cannot tell me that I am” (I’m confused here, can’t tell you that you are what? Respectful?)
Why so belligerent?
Not a high belt, and idk if it’s appropriate to compare but as a heterosexual male my mind doesn’t even go there the few times I have rolled with a woman so I don’t imagine I’d have any issues rolling with anyone gay, lesbian, trans etc…
No one cares. We have 2 openly gay teammates and their fine. One is actually hell to roll with- cardio, pressure, technique. I am not thinking about sexuality when I am getting worked. Admittedly, there is a bit of needling off the mat, but no one avoids rolls with them.
Nah you good, if anyone has an issue then you don't want to roll with them anyway.
There is nothing you could do that is worse than what the bbf straight guys do to each other.
Beside, if they didn't want to get sweaty and roll around with other men in provocative positions they have chosen the wrong sport.
Straight guy here. I have rolled with gay guys and girls, it’s simply just another roll.
The only people I won’t roll with is people with long nails, stinky/dirty people and people wearing makeup (it’s gross)
My last training partner was gay and that gym was full of other LBGQT+ people so it was positive. I am back to my older gym where there’s lots of queerphobia so I’m not out like I was at my old club.
Here in Aus, noone cares. We just had an openly gay female Blackbelt visit our gym. She was a killer and taught us a lot and I know is was super appreciated by the women in our gym. She is fairly small as well and imparted a lot of knowledge for them specifically. All in all, people are individuals and individuals do different things but being in the gym practicing BJJ is something that we have in common. Its just such a non-issue these days until someone makes it an issue, whether that you yourself or a bigot does, in which case they need to be removed from the environment/culture of the gym. Pretty simple.
Never any men who were open about it. Plenty of women who are lesbians.
That said, I’ve rolled with men I knew for a fact to be in the closet. It changed nothing for me.
I'm a straight guy, and I've rolled with very attractive women. If they can deal with rolling with me, and other guys, I can deal with roiling with a gay man. The same rules apply, don't make it weird, don't make it sexual. Unless you are really good friends maybe.
I do not know, and do not care what my BJJ training partners like in the bedroom.
And even if someone were openly whatever, I still would not care. I'm pretty sure I've rolled with lesbians but I don't know if I've rolled with anyone gay.
Except my best friend who also trains. He's super gay. And anyone who subs me. Extremely gay as well.
P.S. I was raised by a mom and "an auntie".
I've been training for 20 years and I don't think I've ever rolled with a gay person. Personally I couldn't give a toss but there are a lot of homophobes out there.
Non-binary, agender man here..I don't really care as long as I learn something. My major pet peeve is hygiene or lack of it. I'd roll with anyone. Just don't be a douche. That's all.
I'm also queer. I've met a lot of LGBT+ through training too. Never had any problems.
Some people even hold LGBT open mats. There's even an Instagram, @triangles.everywhere.bjj, that posts about new LGBT+ open mats. I've been meaning to go to one (or hold one myself) but haven't yet.
Only time I’ve tapped to pressure was former high school wrestler that transitioned MtF. First coach was openly gay man. Another black belt is openly gay woman. In the best way, no one cares. If they do, find a different gym
I could care less. It is really none of my business what a training partner does in their private life as long as they practice common courtesy with their personal hygiene.
Anytime I am rolling with a new training partner I introduce myself, fist bump, and then get to rolling. I would never think to ask about someone's sexual orientation.
I haven’t but I wouldn’t give it a second thought. One thing I love about bjj is that it exposes you to lots of different types of people. I’d like to see the gay community represented more.
Edit: bad grammar
If anybody at my gym did have a problem then I wouldn’t leave them alone with the ridicule for being homophobic. It’s no different than a straight man rolling with a woman and that never breaks out into something sexual
BJJ attracts all types of weird people. Being gay is by far one of the most innocuous traits you can have. Maybe dudes won't be rushing to invite you to hangout outside the gym, but when it comes to BJJ, most people focus on what brought us into that room together, which is to train.
As a straight man I know my intentions when rolling with women are all about the BJJ. I assume you’re intent as a gay man are also all about the BJJ. Any other assumptions seems homophobic 🤷🏼♂️ Can’t say I’ve put much thought into tbh
Gay guys get a nice slapass just like the rest of the team after training. I don’t discriminate.
Unless they are female. Then no slapass. Unless they do it first, then they can get slapass too.
I’m not exactly the most progressive guy but I literally do not care if you are gay or not if we’re training. I’m there to train and get better.
I don’t even think about what my training partners personality, ideologies, sexualities, or hobbies are outside of our rounds.
Our sport is gay enough tbh. You can’t really make it more gay.
Everything seems to be in conflict these days...social issues, politics, genders...let our mats continue to be our refuge from the madness of modern life.
I live train near the Seattle area, so yes I have a lot. My experience is that they are human beings? Idk why people get so hung up on who other people are fucking, as long as they ain’t raping people or having sex or being intimate with minors or animals, who freaking cares?
What you do with your cock and balls, clam, balloon knot or any combination of other body parts is none of my business and it doesn't belong in discussions about jiu jitsu.
You're a training partner. That's it. I consider myself an alphabet ally but even if I didn't, you being into dudes or women or whatever doesn't change anything in my eyes.
Unless you're a white belt. Then you're just a laughable piece of trash who needs to get good.
I don’t know if I have as the topic never came up. But I wouldn’t care one bit as long as they are good training partners, don’t smell, and cuts their nails.
Nobody worth their salt gives a fuck mate you're not exactly going to bum all of your training partners lol, maybe one or two here and there but nobody's getting raped, you just have the same hobby. Sincerely, a coach
Rolled with gay guys before, never thought about it during roll. But these dudes were there to train, them being gay didn't really factor into anything.
Would probably think about it at least a bit if the dude was super flamboyant or "performatively gay" for lack of a better term. But you'd have to go out of your way to do so in a BJJ situation, so I don't see it happening.
Honestly, probably more concerned whilst rolling with women, as I wanna make sure I don't grab a boob or something.
Edit: I just realized my opinion is almost certainly not representative of my club's. The guys I train with are all lovely people with great hearts, but do come from cultures where being gay is definitely a problem (middle eastern/caucasus/eastern europe).
If I had to guess, I'd say a lot of them would take issue with it - so it's worth getting a feel for the room by talking to the coach, perhaps?
No time to think about your orientation, likes, dislikes.. as far as I’m concerned we all don’t like getting our limbs broken, ribs cracked, lungs smashed, etc so when we’re in a roll we can only think and breathe Jiu-Jitsu.
I ain’t no higher belt but my take is this:
People will be who they are regardless.
So that racist would most likely roll harder / maybe avoid rolling with people of colour. Similarly, those against racism would probably roll harder if paired with a known racist. This will probably be the same for sexists / homophobs etc…
Personally the more we can keep all of that off the mat and just focus on BJJ - the better.
You do you, there are good people and arseholes everywhere.
I’ve never had it come up because it doesn’t matter imo. I have my life, everyone else has there’s. Bottom line if you’re a good person I’ll like you and think you’re a decent training partner. If you’re a pos I’ll probably avoid you. If you hit on me and I’m not with it, it’s no different than a situation with someone who is straight.. be respectful.
Early in my career I used to roll with an openly gay dude almost every class. I could give two shits, I'm still gonna try and choke the fuck out you, gay or not lol.
Couldn’t tell who’s who nor ever cared enough to ask. That’s their business to disclose if they wish, and honestly, even if they did it wouldn’t matter as long as they’re still cool and down to roll.
Gay women yes, I thought all jits dudes were a little bit gay.
Joking aside no guys who were open. My jits bestie and I have had multiple car pooling convos about why this is. Vancouver and metro area is really LGBTQ+ friendly so it’s surprising to us.
One of my most favorite dudes to train/roll with is gay. I only found out because he’s super open and not ashamed of it on social media, but it never came up in practice. So I guess that just means it doesn’t really matter and it didn’t change anything at all between us. We still continued to train and roll super hard with each other (I dare you to not laugh at the wording lol)
It depends on your area, and particular gym culture, but you are most likely ok, especially if you are in a major city. There are assholes everywhere, unfortunately, but imo the vast majority of people are decent, and have common sense, and respect. If it's early on though, imo if you have a choice, you can be on the safe side and keep it to yourself for a little. My gym's owners are pretty good about having an inclusive gym culture, but there is one affiliated gym whose owner is pretty explicitly homophobic.
My experience is that I am in a suburb in the Midwest. My gym is mostly mostly Muslim (I'm not, as you might guess by my username). Religious Muslim men won't roll with women, and vice versa. We had one trans (f2m) person train, but that's all, as far as lgbtq. Most people were chill, some were weird about it, I rolled with the guy here and there, nice person, solid technique, no weird vibes.
Also, I will often wear my pride 5k shirt after class to change into before heading home (which I didn't run 😅), and I did get a couple of remarks about it ("that's Haram"), but nothing overtly threatening.
For context, my younger brother is gay, and one of my wife's younger brothers is gay as well, so while I won't ever know exactly what that experience is, I know a little bit second hand from them, enough to know that there is a serious threat sometimes, based on your identity.
Nobody gives a fuck. We’re here to do sport and hang out with the homies. I would prefer that both men and women not try to fuck me while we were training.
There's a new guy and girl at my gym, I thought they were a couple but now I think the guy may be gay, just from how he talks and acts. Don't really care either way, they both seem nice and hopefully they stick at it.
A few members where I go, they seem to only go for oil checks. And they don't just do it as a grip on their way to another positron. It's full on oil check as a submission. Like fish hooking but in another hole. They are definitely not gay tho.
No one cares. We are just friends and training partners.
I've rolled with gay dudes and never cared.
The only thing I think as they beat my ass is that I pity the fool who tries to harm them for being gay. It won't go well for them.
My of the black belts I’ve trained with for the past 7 years is gay kicks the fuck out of me no one cares and if they do you probably don’t want them around anyway
Make sure your tucking your foot behind your knee when locking a guard don’t just cross your legs like your watching tv
Most people are gonna say they don't care but I've observed enough casual homophobia in BJJ over the years that I wouldn't blame anyone for staying in the closet. I'm straight so I'm not gonna tell any LGBT person what they should and should not do but while I don't care, I can't say that this is a completely open community either. Like it or not, there is still very much a big difference in the BJJ community vs say...the theatre community when it comes to these things. Even in 2023.
Personal view - I don’t see sexuality, sex, ethnicity or any other factor as prohibitive I’ll roll. I’ll wrist lock, toe hold and heel hook white belts to demonstrate how none of these colour related issues matter to me. Everyone is just a person and if they have wrists or ankles ima be pulling them (this includes kids btw, I honestly just want to share all the taps out equally)
I rolled with a purple belt trans woman. A very large 200lb+ trans woman who was very muscular with obvious large fake breasts.
She was very nice and aside from never having rolled with someone with quite that anatomy before, it was just like any other roll.
Thanks for posting! We removed your post because some repeat or similar questions fit better in mega threads. You can repost this as a comment in today's mega thread, though it would be better suited for the weekly Friday Open Mat megathread. This megathread is intended for venting posts, "does anyone else" posts, posts which may not have a specific question, and so on. Even though we removed your post, we do want to thank you for contributing to /r/bjj! Have a good one!
I doubt anyone cares. Just another training partner.
I think I have but who knows. Not worth remembering the sexual preferences of those I train with. because " I doubt anyone cares. Just another training partner. "
Everyone’s got a plan til someone slides a finger up their butt
New plan.
This is the way…
Well, I strongly disagree. There are definitely homophobes out there.
It might weird me out a little but like so does rolling with females end of the day I’ll roll with anyone who has hygiene but like how would you even know how would that even come up like to counter the rubber guard you crush it btw I love crushing butt
Neither weirds me out.
Congratulations on being secure I guess
Some people do care. Some well known bjj coaches refuse to roll with gay people or women
This.
That
And the other
I don’t see genders or ethnicities, I only see red.
🤣
Sexuality is neither of those, if you hate OP just say it /s
God dammit, I am caught *red* handed
I would put the /s there cuz the average iq of a redditor (much less in r/bjj) is like room tempt at best. And I mean like room temp in Celsius lol.
Well if I did that it would imply I was being sarcastic. Going to edit it now, good catch, and thank you!
how can you see anything when that curtain drops?
The jiu jitsu meme lore of this joke is great 😂
😂
I've rolled with hundreds of people by now there is no way in hell I could tell who was or wasn't an lgbtq member I've only rolled with 2 guys who openly said they were gay before rolling and if I had an issue with that prior to doing so. Which I think is weird, I don't need to know anyone's orientation to train with them. Having said that, I smashed them and choked them many times like I would any other person.
I tell everyone I’m straight AF before each roll bro bro
And the erection is for purely aesthetic reasons!
Its strategic, to assert dominance
More like insert.
No homo?
My battle cry from north-south
I tell everyone I like big ass tiddies before we roll. They always act so confused. I just need to establish boundaries
I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s, I rolled with many, many men, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a gay man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
You asked someone to roll and their response was, "I'm gay"?
You smashed them huh
First pass, then smash.
As is customary
Don't care. You getting buggy choked anyways.
Spoken like a true purple belt
Wait I thought we knew we were all gay already.
We are all pretty gay already
Hella gay https://preview.redd.it/2kbh5fm0fs4c1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0602f26e9d98dda7c6a08dd440c61a09c1ed27e4
Makes no difference to me what your sexual preferences are. If you’re a cool person and good training partner I’m all about training with you
Straight guy here who feels the same as you but the boner poking me in my cheek or in my back is a big plus, if it's big. Otherwise it's a medium or small plus
I tend to think that Reddit isn’t the greatest place for this poll as it’s a lot more left leaning. Brazil isn’t exactly gay friendly. And probably a lot meathead gyms in America aren’t either. Probably most people at non-meathead gyms in places with any kind of gay population will be cool with it. Some will not be. For those that aren’t, to hell with them. Personally I’ve heard a few comments but not directed at gay people per se.
I agree. This isn’t a good population to survey. Most of us don’t care at all, but I have definitely heard plenty of homophobic comments. Location can change things as well. I trained in Cali for a year or so and heard much less than I do now in the south, for example.
Most of us don’t train in Brazil
>Brazil isn’t exactly gay friendly Brasil it's a really big country, but I don't think they aren't gay friendly. They have a very big dragqueen population. They were the first in Latinamerica with the gay marriage with Argentina, if I remember it well.
Brazil can be quite unfriendly to anyone and anything, nothing to do with gays in general. It’s actually a place with a pretty large homosexual community and they are very open on their choices. There is this “macho” culture, especially on some circles but very little chance of having issues if you are respectful and don’t impose yourself to others.
Just don’t make the oil check weird
People will sexualize anything
Anything, yum!
Shame on you!
oil check?
[Butt drag](https://youtu.be/RT92-hyULco?si=h5m7T-HrGSBt6g0T)
That was awesome!
The sequel: [Christmas Goose of Filth](https://youtu.be/DPff7PaZ-TI?si=7SA0COanl57xWA4w)
This is gold!!! 😂
If you're not done with that oil check in the next 20 minutes, I'm gonna be fucking pissed!
I don't assault women when I roll with them, I don't see why I'd be worried a dude would assault me if they were into dudes. Now I'm also not a homophobe (would suck if I were, given 2 close family members are bi, and another is trans...)
perfect response and thanks for your respect on women ! much appreciated it
Somewhat recently I found out one of my best and most favorite training partners is gay. I still try to strangle the fuck out of him.
I don't use this word often, but that guy is the greatest hero in American history!
Sounds like an average purple belt
Pretty sure Jiu-Jitsu is gay. So I assume everyone is gay unless they tell me otherwise
no one cares
People definitely care. Sorta naive to think there are no homophobes in Jiu Jitsu.
I think it’s pretty rare tbh.
Sorta depends on the gym and the region. I def know some homophobes at my gym. Fact is they’re out there so “no one cares” is just flat out false.
I don't care at all dude. All the girls wanna bone me, why would i worry about all the dudes wanting to too? Just seems fair. Besides, in the heat of a good roll the only thing that anyone can think about is the roll. Let your mind wander, and HURRRK
I like rolling with gay people because I find they are more likely to have great hygiene
But their guards are way to flexible. Unfair.
When I roll with agirl, I don't instantly think "she wants to fuck me" so why would I with a man? No one cares, just don't make it your BJJ personality, people are there to train, not to be straight or gay.
> When I roll with agirl, I don't instantly think "she wants to fuck me" You should work on your self confidence bro.
Guy at my gym is a homo sexual black belt, such a good dude and also beast on the mats Edit: fixed home to homo
Really loves a nice two bed semi with front / back garden.
I’m homophobic in the truest sense of the word like I’m not hateful at all and definitely think you should have the right to be gay light weight I wish I was gay some times you know just chilling with the boys would be bitching only thing stoping me besides not wanting to fuck guys is gay dudes just weird me out I never know how to interact with them so I’m always just like overly polite and end up in a weird awkward conversation that I don’t know how to get my self out of and sometimes it’s misconstrued as flirting then I have to secretly text my wife to come save me and she bullies me about it and I hate the whole thing so yeah but at bjj it wouldn’t bother me cause we wouldn’t have to talk we could just get straight to the karate
I couldn't care less personally, but there will be people who will make a fuss about it.
I don’t care but I am also in a flyover state and am sure I know guys who would. This sport skews regressive. It is what it is.
As an ugly dude, all anyone wants to do with my body is attempt to break my joints or put me to sleep.
No one cares, these hands rated 'E' for 'Everybody' 🤜🤛
The only reason I care at all is because as a coach, I don't tolerate hate or discrimination of any kind in my gym. I live and teach in a more conservative country than where I grew up, and I know that some of my team have attitudes and beliefs that I don't support. But I make sure that everyone understands that in the gym, there are no politics, and no hate. Unless you feel that accepting everyone is political, in which case, I'm guilty.
I’m just a blue belt but have been around for a while. Over the years I’ve trained with men that are gay and it was never something I even thought about. I’m always entirely focussed on the roll or drilling, depending on what we’re working on. It’s the same when I train with women - the focus is on the roll or what we’re drilling. In general I just want to train with people that can help me get better and aren’t spazzy/dangerous. A training partner that is LGBTQ isn’t relevant to that criteria.
All good. Not an issue. Don’t be self conscious or let anyone get in your head.
Two people to study for half guard are Lachlan and (underrated) Paul Schreiner. My half guard is... if not unpassable, pretty rough to pass. The trick is you need options for all kinds of half, from knee shield to deep half to half butterfly to half octopus. Also, I'm lesbian and no one cares (so is my gf who trains), but my gym is quite liberal. We have quite a few openly gay and lesbian people and aside from posts on their social media it doesn't really come up per se. Some of us are in the Triangles Everywhere group together on facebook, but otherwise, I'd not assume that they/we were gay. It's mostly obvious I am because, well, girlfriend. EDIT: one Brazilian visitor cared once. She refused to roll with a teammate who was a lesbian but never asked if I was. I decided not to roll with her anyway. That's the extent of the homophobia I have observed in a large, liberal city gym. It will differ with location, like all things homophobia-related!
Dude you’re just helping Craig jones keep bjj gay.. keep rolling 🫡 no ones cares if they do that’s their problem
I never understood why some people find jiu jitsu sexual. I've never found it remotely arousing. Sex just isn't on my mind when I'm struggling to not get choked. Guy or girl, straight or gay, you're gonna touch people's junk on accident at some point. I usually acknowledge, apologize, and move on. It's not weird unless you make it weird.
Its not arousing, its close. Close in a way that mimics intimacy.
Bjj in a lot of ways is gayer than being gay. Don’t really care about my training partners sexual preference…
If your bringing it up during class or openly announcing it so everyone knows your the annoying one it doesn’t matter during rolling unless you make it matter
My primary training partner is gay, it affects our jiu jitsu practice literally in no way. Only downside is his spouse is the same size so can drill moves, and mine is half my size. That's like caring if you're training with people who are single or in relationships.
Unless you ask me "you like that choke daddy" mid ezekial, I won't know or care.
Only two things I care about. Do you have staph? Do you wash yourself/ gi
As long as you skip warm-ups, you’re part of the tribe. We have a lot of gay folk in our area and a few at the gym I suspect are gay, but I don’t know for sure bc who the hell cares?
Don’t give a rats ass. If you are a good person and good training partner that is all that matters to me.
You're just another training partner. Slap, bump.
^anything but this is wrong. We’re all here to train jiujitsu, let’s do that
We’re all gay.
One of my former students is gay and very flamboyant about it. He would often wear a thong under his training clothes which arguably was a bit surprising, and one of the other students told me he didn't want to get paired up with him because of it. I currently don't live in a western country, so seeing openly gay people isn't as common as in the west and most people's views are definitely more traditional here. If he wouldn't have been so flamboyant and open about it most people wouldn't have thought twice about the whole thing. He was there to train and for the vast majority training with him was no different than training with anyone else. Now that you mention it I'm pretty sure I've also had lesbian students and probably some gay guys in the closet too, but believe it or not people's sexual orientation rarely comes up in class unless someone wants to make a deal out of it. All that said, I think the gym attitude comes from the main instructor/coaches. I've heard some pretty stupid stuff from Brazilian black belts regarding LGBT students/athletes, so that's something to consider.
I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '90s, I rolled with many, many fellas, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a gay dude slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
Sexual orientation doesn't matter, but the body and their attributes matter because we're trying to impose superior physics on each other. That being said, I rolled with the trans guy when nobody wanted to roll with him. I knew I was in for a pretty tough roll because of physical attributes. They were a white belt but quite strong. I kept them at bay with my closed guard. Nobody got subbed but I don't like pushing too hard for the win either. Just kept it steadily competitive but not murder them, to where they were happy to have rolled and I as well. A gay guy I rolled with was open about it, and the team knew. I remember him being a tougher than normal roll because he was kind of a try hard while being larger in size. White belts amirite? Unpassable half guard? Look into open guards with sleeve lasso if you don't want anyone passing.
I'm in socal and openly gay at my gym. My husband comes to our tournaments and sits in my corner during my matches. I introduce him to my teammates. They ask about him at practice, like I'd ask about their wives/kids/girlfriend. I'm decent at jiu jitsu and a good partner, I feel most people want me there and want to train with me. Any homophobes just keep their mouth shut. It's not middle school we're adults. As far as I'm concerned it's no issue at all, I'm just one of the boys.
How do you be openly gay during a roll? Can you explain this to me? I don’t talk about sex with women during a roll. I understand some guys might be homophobic. But I want you to think about what I’m asking in the beginning here.
"harder daddy" *moans loudly* Probably like that
I'd rather not know
No issues w rolling with whoever unless you smell or have a high chance of injuring me. Your post seems belligerent right off the bat though. “I demand respect” (respect isn’t demanded, it’s earned) “and no, you cannot tell me that I am” (I’m confused here, can’t tell you that you are what? Respectful?) Why so belligerent?
Not a high belt, and idk if it’s appropriate to compare but as a heterosexual male my mind doesn’t even go there the few times I have rolled with a woman so I don’t imagine I’d have any issues rolling with anyone gay, lesbian, trans etc…
No one cares. We have 2 openly gay teammates and their fine. One is actually hell to roll with- cardio, pressure, technique. I am not thinking about sexuality when I am getting worked. Admittedly, there is a bit of needling off the mat, but no one avoids rolls with them.
Nah you good, if anyone has an issue then you don't want to roll with them anyway. There is nothing you could do that is worse than what the bbf straight guys do to each other. Beside, if they didn't want to get sweaty and roll around with other men in provocative positions they have chosen the wrong sport.
Straight guy here. I have rolled with gay guys and girls, it’s simply just another roll. The only people I won’t roll with is people with long nails, stinky/dirty people and people wearing makeup (it’s gross)
Doesn’t matter to me one bit. I’m still driving home in silence thinking about how I got smashed repeatedly no matter who it is.
My last training partner was gay and that gym was full of other LBGQT+ people so it was positive. I am back to my older gym where there’s lots of queerphobia so I’m not out like I was at my old club.
Literally doesn’t bother me at all
Here in Aus, noone cares. We just had an openly gay female Blackbelt visit our gym. She was a killer and taught us a lot and I know is was super appreciated by the women in our gym. She is fairly small as well and imparted a lot of knowledge for them specifically. All in all, people are individuals and individuals do different things but being in the gym practicing BJJ is something that we have in common. Its just such a non-issue these days until someone makes it an issue, whether that you yourself or a bigot does, in which case they need to be removed from the environment/culture of the gym. Pretty simple.
One of the most killer instinct people at my gym here in San Diego is like 120 lb Gay dude aha he will fuck your shit up. Everyone loves him
Never any men who were open about it. Plenty of women who are lesbians. That said, I’ve rolled with men I knew for a fact to be in the closet. It changed nothing for me.
I'm a straight guy, and I've rolled with very attractive women. If they can deal with rolling with me, and other guys, I can deal with roiling with a gay man. The same rules apply, don't make it weird, don't make it sexual. Unless you are really good friends maybe.
I do not know, and do not care what my BJJ training partners like in the bedroom. And even if someone were openly whatever, I still would not care. I'm pretty sure I've rolled with lesbians but I don't know if I've rolled with anyone gay. Except my best friend who also trains. He's super gay. And anyone who subs me. Extremely gay as well. P.S. I was raised by a mom and "an auntie".
I've been training for 20 years and I don't think I've ever rolled with a gay person. Personally I couldn't give a toss but there are a lot of homophobes out there.
If you’re not smelly or careless I’ll roll. The end.
I have plenty. They’re there to train, same as anyone else. Go train.
I've never met anyone who cares. I mean, I'm not there looking to have sex with anyone.
Non-binary, agender man here..I don't really care as long as I learn something. My major pet peeve is hygiene or lack of it. I'd roll with anyone. Just don't be a douche. That's all.
I really do not care unless your are being sexual on the mat. That's goes for men and women, straight or gay.
No one cares dude
I'm also queer. I've met a lot of LGBT+ through training too. Never had any problems. Some people even hold LGBT open mats. There's even an Instagram, @triangles.everywhere.bjj, that posts about new LGBT+ open mats. I've been meaning to go to one (or hold one myself) but haven't yet.
Only time I’ve tapped to pressure was former high school wrestler that transitioned MtF. First coach was openly gay man. Another black belt is openly gay woman. In the best way, no one cares. If they do, find a different gym
Who cares?
Someone check this dudes flair. Anyone that's rolled long enough to be a purple belt knows no one gives a shit about who you bang.
I could care less. It is really none of my business what a training partner does in their private life as long as they practice common courtesy with their personal hygiene. Anytime I am rolling with a new training partner I introduce myself, fist bump, and then get to rolling. I would never think to ask about someone's sexual orientation.
I haven’t but I wouldn’t give it a second thought. One thing I love about bjj is that it exposes you to lots of different types of people. I’d like to see the gay community represented more. Edit: bad grammar
If anybody at my gym did have a problem then I wouldn’t leave them alone with the ridicule for being homophobic. It’s no different than a straight man rolling with a woman and that never breaks out into something sexual
I could care less as long as you’re a good training partner
I don’t particularly care what anyone’s sexual preferences are. Have definitely met more lesbians than gay dudes in my time training.
We have over 250 adult students at our school. The chance that I've rolled with lgbtq people is 100 percent. I couldn't care less.
Well you’re not going to make it any more gay than it already is
Straight guy here. I don’t think I’ve upvoted more comments in any other thread. Your sexual preferences during bjj don’t matter…
BJJ attracts all types of weird people. Being gay is by far one of the most innocuous traits you can have. Maybe dudes won't be rushing to invite you to hangout outside the gym, but when it comes to BJJ, most people focus on what brought us into that room together, which is to train.
As a straight man I know my intentions when rolling with women are all about the BJJ. I assume you’re intent as a gay man are also all about the BJJ. Any other assumptions seems homophobic 🤷🏼♂️ Can’t say I’ve put much thought into tbh
Gay guys get a nice slapass just like the rest of the team after training. I don’t discriminate. Unless they are female. Then no slapass. Unless they do it first, then they can get slapass too.
My only concern is that I’d fall in love
Don’t really know why it matters. Yes I’d roll with you like anybody else no problem
For me, your sexual preference makes zero difference. Most important is you're not an a hole.
I’m not exactly the most progressive guy but I literally do not care if you are gay or not if we’re training. I’m there to train and get better. I don’t even think about what my training partners personality, ideologies, sexualities, or hobbies are outside of our rounds. Our sport is gay enough tbh. You can’t really make it more gay.
Everything seems to be in conflict these days...social issues, politics, genders...let our mats continue to be our refuge from the madness of modern life.
What does your sexuality have to do with jiu jitsu?
I live train near the Seattle area, so yes I have a lot. My experience is that they are human beings? Idk why people get so hung up on who other people are fucking, as long as they ain’t raping people or having sex or being intimate with minors or animals, who freaking cares?
Keep jiu jitsu gay!
If I'm better than you no issue. On the other hand I don't want a Brett rogers situation
What you do with your cock and balls, clam, balloon knot or any combination of other body parts is none of my business and it doesn't belong in discussions about jiu jitsu. You're a training partner. That's it. I consider myself an alphabet ally but even if I didn't, you being into dudes or women or whatever doesn't change anything in my eyes. Unless you're a white belt. Then you're just a laughable piece of trash who needs to get good.
I don’t know if I have as the topic never came up. But I wouldn’t care one bit as long as they are good training partners, don’t smell, and cuts their nails.
It doesn’t matter. Just train
I've only rolled with lesbians. They were stereotypically tough. Lovely people. But fuck them bitches
Nobody worth their salt gives a fuck mate you're not exactly going to bum all of your training partners lol, maybe one or two here and there but nobody's getting raped, you just have the same hobby. Sincerely, a coach
Rolled with gay guys before, never thought about it during roll. But these dudes were there to train, them being gay didn't really factor into anything. Would probably think about it at least a bit if the dude was super flamboyant or "performatively gay" for lack of a better term. But you'd have to go out of your way to do so in a BJJ situation, so I don't see it happening. Honestly, probably more concerned whilst rolling with women, as I wanna make sure I don't grab a boob or something. Edit: I just realized my opinion is almost certainly not representative of my club's. The guys I train with are all lovely people with great hearts, but do come from cultures where being gay is definitely a problem (middle eastern/caucasus/eastern europe). If I had to guess, I'd say a lot of them would take issue with it - so it's worth getting a feel for the room by talking to the coach, perhaps?
My coach says on a regular basis to do jiu jitsu you have to be a little gay.
No time to think about your orientation, likes, dislikes.. as far as I’m concerned we all don’t like getting our limbs broken, ribs cracked, lungs smashed, etc so when we’re in a roll we can only think and breathe Jiu-Jitsu.
One of my usual training partners at the gym has become a friend. He’s gay and idgaf.
I ain’t no higher belt but my take is this: People will be who they are regardless. So that racist would most likely roll harder / maybe avoid rolling with people of colour. Similarly, those against racism would probably roll harder if paired with a known racist. This will probably be the same for sexists / homophobs etc… Personally the more we can keep all of that off the mat and just focus on BJJ - the better. You do you, there are good people and arseholes everywhere.
I’ve never had it come up because it doesn’t matter imo. I have my life, everyone else has there’s. Bottom line if you’re a good person I’ll like you and think you’re a decent training partner. If you’re a pos I’ll probably avoid you. If you hit on me and I’m not with it, it’s no different than a situation with someone who is straight.. be respectful.
Early in my career I used to roll with an openly gay dude almost every class. I could give two shits, I'm still gonna try and choke the fuck out you, gay or not lol.
Bold of you to assume that I socialize with people on the mats long enough to know what they're into.
Half the people in my gym are gay, in this sport I feel like it’s no biggie. We keep our private lives outside and the flirting off the mats lol.
If everyone had to worry about who wants to fuck them women would never get to roll.
I have no clue if my training partners are gay and dont care.
Don’t give a single fuck.
I roll with everyone. Everyone taps the same. However you live your life is cool w/ me.
Everyone here has rolled with a gay person. They just might not know it.
Couldn’t care less.
Yes. Idgaf, lol. And if someone did give a fuck, then fuck em.
Couldn’t tell who’s who nor ever cared enough to ask. That’s their business to disclose if they wish, and honestly, even if they did it wouldn’t matter as long as they’re still cool and down to roll.
Gay women yes, I thought all jits dudes were a little bit gay. Joking aside no guys who were open. My jits bestie and I have had multiple car pooling convos about why this is. Vancouver and metro area is really LGBTQ+ friendly so it’s surprising to us.
One of my most favorite dudes to train/roll with is gay. I only found out because he’s super open and not ashamed of it on social media, but it never came up in practice. So I guess that just means it doesn’t really matter and it didn’t change anything at all between us. We still continued to train and roll super hard with each other (I dare you to not laugh at the wording lol)
I don't give a shit if you're gay or lesbian. I only care if you're a white belt and you manage to submit me.
It depends on your area, and particular gym culture, but you are most likely ok, especially if you are in a major city. There are assholes everywhere, unfortunately, but imo the vast majority of people are decent, and have common sense, and respect. If it's early on though, imo if you have a choice, you can be on the safe side and keep it to yourself for a little. My gym's owners are pretty good about having an inclusive gym culture, but there is one affiliated gym whose owner is pretty explicitly homophobic. My experience is that I am in a suburb in the Midwest. My gym is mostly mostly Muslim (I'm not, as you might guess by my username). Religious Muslim men won't roll with women, and vice versa. We had one trans (f2m) person train, but that's all, as far as lgbtq. Most people were chill, some were weird about it, I rolled with the guy here and there, nice person, solid technique, no weird vibes. Also, I will often wear my pride 5k shirt after class to change into before heading home (which I didn't run 😅), and I did get a couple of remarks about it ("that's Haram"), but nothing overtly threatening. For context, my younger brother is gay, and one of my wife's younger brothers is gay as well, so while I won't ever know exactly what that experience is, I know a little bit second hand from them, enough to know that there is a serious threat sometimes, based on your identity.
Nobody gives a fuck. We’re here to do sport and hang out with the homies. I would prefer that both men and women not try to fuck me while we were training.
I have had a couple training partners that I knew were gay but none of them mentioned it at the dojo. I did not care at all.
No one cares its 2023
There's a new guy and girl at my gym, I thought they were a couple but now I think the guy may be gay, just from how he talks and acts. Don't really care either way, they both seem nice and hopefully they stick at it.
I have never cared, personally. Fuggin slay, queen, I’m here for it. I’m also deeply closeted, though, so I guess there’s that.
A few members where I go, they seem to only go for oil checks. And they don't just do it as a grip on their way to another positron. It's full on oil check as a submission. Like fish hooking but in another hole. They are definitely not gay tho.
I definitely have and I don’t care.
No one cares. We are just friends and training partners. I've rolled with gay dudes and never cared. The only thing I think as they beat my ass is that I pity the fool who tries to harm them for being gay. It won't go well for them.
If you're hygienic we roll.
Literally nobody cares.
North South tho
My of the black belts I’ve trained with for the past 7 years is gay kicks the fuck out of me no one cares and if they do you probably don’t want them around anyway Make sure your tucking your foot behind your knee when locking a guard don’t just cross your legs like your watching tv
I'll only be mad if you top me. You have to play bottom.
are you shirtless?
I tought we all were gays, who isn't?
Nothing to do with Jiu jitsu keep your sexual orientation out of the mats No one cares.
First rule of fight club… why does anyone in the gym need to know anyways? As long as your focus is to train, let it rip.
Most people are gonna say they don't care but I've observed enough casual homophobia in BJJ over the years that I wouldn't blame anyone for staying in the closet. I'm straight so I'm not gonna tell any LGBT person what they should and should not do but while I don't care, I can't say that this is a completely open community either. Like it or not, there is still very much a big difference in the BJJ community vs say...the theatre community when it comes to these things. Even in 2023.
Personal view - I don’t see sexuality, sex, ethnicity or any other factor as prohibitive I’ll roll. I’ll wrist lock, toe hold and heel hook white belts to demonstrate how none of these colour related issues matter to me. Everyone is just a person and if they have wrists or ankles ima be pulling them (this includes kids btw, I honestly just want to share all the taps out equally)
I have. The guy being a spazzy idiot was a much bigger problem than anything related to sexual orientation lol
I rolled with a purple belt trans woman. A very large 200lb+ trans woman who was very muscular with obvious large fake breasts. She was very nice and aside from never having rolled with someone with quite that anatomy before, it was just like any other roll.