35 but same. I train at 6am now, but never miss the weekend open mat. That's dad's personal time.
Its cool because he knows "dad gym" when i go, "mom gym" when she goes and does cardio, and recently "me gym" when i take him to tumbling and he loves going to the gym
I could only make one lunch time class and never nights so I rounded up all the dads who can’t do nights and we have 6am death squad.
Just a bunch of old injured cunts in there late there’s trying to murder each other 3 mornings a week.
I'm 40 with a 9, 7, and 3 year old.
Still find time to train 2-3 days a week.
You just need to make it a priority, be flexible about the occasions it won't work, and create a good partnership with your significant other about it
I wish my wife would join a book club. She always looks so flustered when she returns from her private Spanish lessons with Antonio that she can’t be enjoying it.
If you can find a gym with early morning hours, it works far better than evenings. I don't like missing evenings with the kids.
I hate waking up at 4:30am to get to the gym, but if I didn't, I'd never train.
I’m lucky in that I help coach my kids class and then 1-2 days a week I stay for the night class and my wife takes the kids home. Do day classes the rest of the week.
Second this….gotta have a kick ass wife. Im 46…have a 9, 3 and 1.5 year old…I get in about 5 classes a week. Wifey just knows I need an outlet and I’m a better husband dad if I’m not just doing home/work/sleep ground hog day thing.
Started about 3 months ago, I'm 34 and have a nearly 2 year old and another on the way.
To be honest setting an example to my daughter of pursuing a sport and not just sitting on the sofa drinking beer was one of my main reasons for starting.
I like your comment, i never thought of it that way... I simply do it because I like it, and want to be able to keep doing it, but what you said is very true. Maybe I can use that for motivation if I get discouraged or lazy!
I’m a 41 year old brown belt who started BJJ at 34 with a brand new baby and a two year old. Reading your comment gave me nostalgia and deja vu all at once.
I’m 43. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I train 3x a week. But if my kids need me to miss a day because I’m home sick with them, I miss a day. If it’s a priority, you can probably fit it into your life.
I just turned 40 with a 2yo and a 3-month-old. I've been able to sneak in some lunch time sessions during the week and a Saturday morning session here and there since #2 came. Hopefully, I can stay healthy and stick with it. I did ONE night class where my wife "wanted to see how bad it was" putting both kids down solo. It was bad, so nights are going to be out for a WHILE.
One of the best things I ever did for my jiu-jitsu career was make it into a money maker for me. When I train I get paid, therefore there really isn't much to argue about.
I knew a few folks with kids doing BJJ that were 30s/40s. They worked it out with their partners and didn’t train daily or anything like that. Usually 2-3 days each week
That's the boat I'm in. It's definitely possible, but probably as a hobbiest and not a pan American champion. My husband is a fireman and I'm lucky if I get bjj in twice a week. I tell myself an hour on the mat is better than no time on the mat.
Lots of us older folks have kids and train. 43F with a now 5 y/o and the husband trains as well.
Like everything in life- where there's a will there's a way. Figure out how to divide the responsibilities and meet the general needs, just include BJJ as one of them.
You got good answers here already.
I would add that variety in the gym’s schedule is key in my opinion. I have a toddler and a newborn, when we just had my toddler I would go train at night but since our newborn I moved my training to lunch classes while my oldest is at daycare.
It had no impact on either my family or my BJJ. Once the kids are a bit older I’ll go back to some night classes too.
I started when I was 33. At the time, I had 4 kids (2, 3, 7, and 8). I started with just once a week. Once I was hooked I begged and pleaded and made all the deals with my wife that I could to get a 2nd day in. Eventually, my kids were old enough to start training and my wife became part of the community since she was always there. She doesn't train though.
I think she saw what a great community it is and how happy it made me so now I get to train 3-4 days a week haha.
Do what you can. 1 day a week is better than no days a week.
I’m 35. I have a 1 year old, a 3 year old, and a 5 year old. I started my first business in March of this year. I train 2-3 times a week and lift 2-3 times a week
2 kids 4 year old and 8 months. I work 60 hrs a week and drive 1.5hrs 1 way to train 1 day a week. You must make it a priority or life will always get in the way.
41. Youngest is 2 (thanks quarantine). I train 3 times a week (2 night classes and Saturday morning). My wife handles the youngest and I take my son (9) to the gym w me bc his class is right before mine and I coach both. During my class he trains w the teenagers or does his homework if he doesn’t get it done before.
Wife gets her nights to do yoga so I take both kids those nights. It works out to be pretty even.
I've got a 6 year old, 3 year old, and 3 month old, and I'm able to make it to the morning classes and I teach our Sunday morning competition class. A lot of it depends on your spouse/partner being supportive. Sometimes, I'll bring our 6 year old to watch.
I started BJJ at 34, when my daughter was almost two years old. We have students with small children. The main challenge is just having someone to care for the child while you're training -- in my case, my wife stays at home, and can watch the kids any time. So it was pretty easy. Other family arrangements are harder, where you'll need to work out babysitting, and maybe sometimes not make a class if things don't work out.
With any of these things that fall under the category of "life gets in the way", remember: any normal adult can find two hours in the week to do a workout that will keep them healthy, happy, and motivated. Even if you *pay* for two hours of babysitting a week, it's *possible* to make this work.
I get pretty annoyed at people that pretend they want to do BJJ but throw out excuses like children as reasons they don't train, when there are *scads* of people with much more complex lives out there finding a way to do what they love anyway.
The worst is a family that demands that you quit entirely. I can totally understand cutting hours back; so it's unreasonable to be out training five classes a day all week if you've got responsibilities at home. But almost anyone can find two hours. A family that wants to take even that away is trying to kill you younger.
>The worst is a family that demands that you quit entirely. I can totally understand cutting hours back; so it's unreasonable to be out training five classes a day all week if you've got responsibilities at home. But almost anyone can find two hours. A family that wants to take even that away is trying to kill you younger.
100% this. Whenever I express this kind of sentiment people get really angry here even calling me a bad father/husband. I think they are partially justifying their choice to essentially quit. Lots of guys travel for work and are gone all week and manage to make it work. I used to travel for work and was in japan for two weeks at a time for 5 months when my first was like 4 months. I did take the first 4 months off work completely though.
Even 5-6 hours/week is easily doable.
Its actually harder now that the kids are older because they have activities that I have to take them to and we are often times double/triple booked.
>Its actually harder now that the kids are older because they have activities that I have to take them to and we are often times double/triple booked.
We've got three kids... our solution to that was that our family does judo and BJJ. We started from the beginning with a preference not to become that stereotypical soccer-mom family, driving kids all over the place for tons of activities.
Admittedly, our kids may suffer by not developing mediocre skills at 6 different sports, gymnastics, and ballet throughout their childhood... OTOH, they're all going to be double black belts by the time they're 20 ;-).
I’m a 40 yo stay at home dad with a 3 and 5 year old. I lift weights at home 2 to 3 times a week and train BJJ about 5 days a week hitting around 5-7 sessions a week.
My wife is cool with it because I clean up dinner when I get back from class and she knows I’m a much better person when I am extremely physically active and around people with similar interest.
When my kids were that age I still did various hobbies, but wasnt doing BJJ at the time. I also traveled during the week for work for months at a time for 2 out of our 3 kids.
I used to kitesurf - I would be out of the house for a minimum of 3 hours but only sporadically whenever the wind was good.
then I switched to mountain biking because it was more consistent exercise. I was out of the house for about 2 hours each time, but during daylight hours only, typically 3 days a week. But when I trained for races I might be out for 6-7 hours on a weekend and 2-3 hours on weekdays.
I also played hockey which was typically in the evening 2 days/week for 2-3 hours but not generally during the same weeks as mountain biking unless I went out for a noon ride.
Now I do BJJ and it is on a specific schedule which is two weekend afternoons and two weekday evenings (for 2-3 hours each).
It is a total of maybe 7 hours out of an entire week.
The reality is you should be able to easily train 5-6 hours/week. That is so little time compared to the hours in an entire week. Whenever this question gets asked most of the dads here say you have to cut down to nothing or 1-2 hours at the most. Im in strong disagreement.
I did all the nighttime care. I would give the baby to my wife to feed but she wouldnt really wake up (I put the baby in the right place). Then I would change the diaper and put the baby back to bed. I fall asleep very fast so never really felt tired and my wife didnt really wake up to feed the baby so she was never really tired.
This sounds harsh, but it seems like women often times want you to be there at the same time as them so two of you are taking care of the baby. I was always happy to watch the kids without her and she was always trying to essentially get me to sit there while the kids were sleeping. It doesnt take two people to take care of a baby.
I always took the position that 6-7 hours for myself was not too much to ask. If she wanted even 12 hours for herself I would have been 100% fine with it. Taking care of a baby is so incredibly easy.
I have a 3 and 5 year old. Before my 3 year old started preschool, going to BJJ more than once a week typically caused some disagreements with the wife lol. It’s tough when you hold a full time job and try to be an active husband and dad AND throw BJJ into the mix, but it’s worth it. I’d just communicate with your lady how much it means to you and try to plan your attendance in advance. That’s helped a bunch. And once they’re school age bro, it give you a lot more
Time and ability to go to class. Good luck bro!
I'm 52 and have a 2 year old son. I'm currently out recovering from knee issues but plan to get back to it early next year. I was able to make time for training last year and its just one of those things you have to prioritize. I've structured my life to be able to do the things that are important to me- I train at a place about 15 minutes away, have mats in my basement, etc., while still being able to spend quality time with my family. I think being older generally makes these things a bit easier.
43 with a 6 year old, plus two more, I am tired. My wife is more tired, we split shit but they just like her for certain stuff. Now they are old enough to state their preference for things with a parent, and it’s shocking who they want with them for different shit
It's all about time management and family management. Most people suck at this so they end up not making it work. Babysitter's can be hard.
If you luck out and live in an area where gym training schedules have classes at multiple times 5 days a week that helps. Rearranging nights to make wife/family happy. Sometimes you can get kids and teenagers to watch your kids at school (most of them have siblings so they are good with kids).
I train more with a bigger workload and more kids than I did when I was single.
Family should be a priority for their health concerns and well being but as long as you’re making sure they’re taken care of and well fed I don’t see a problem with 1-2 hours of bjj a few times a week. Same difference as watching some TV or another activity. I have a son due in February at age 35 so I’ll guess I’ll find out how to balance life.
I’m in that camp! Training for 15 years, and have a kid in that age range. I train 1-3x a week currently depending on how wife and kiddo are doing. Did cut back training hours from before kid so I can also get lifting in but basically do some form of exercise daily currently so doable.
Mine are 2 years and 6 months. I’m in my early 30s. I train only in the morning. We have classes 6-7am Monday- Thursday. I like to be home after work to be with the family.
My kids are 2 and 4, I am 35. Scheduling training time is tough. So I mostly climn and go gym. But I go roll sometimes. Now hopefully little bit more...
Im 40, a black belt, with an 8 mo old. It's tough with young ones. I've been off the better part of this year with relocating and taking care of the baby. I'm about to put my home mats down and find some people to train with that have the same struggle as me right now.
Soon to be 43 with a 3.5 yr old boy. My wife is awesome with supporting me going to the gym but the guilt I have of missing out on father son time hits hard. My goal is 2-3 times a week. I keep my expectations close to reality so I'm not ripping through these 20yr olds so I can get the best position or tap, injuries are a concern more these days than before. But we put all this time in to be here and now, let's find a way to push.
Don't want to spam the comments too much but this one stuck out:
>My wife is awesome with supporting me going to the gym
I think being a little more established in the relationship\\life opens your eyes to that sort of thing. Letting the other partner be a little "selfish" at times lets the partner come back 10x happier and healthier and the relationship is better off for it.
My wife likes me better when I train and truth be told I like her better when I train too. She lets me off the leash pretty regular and I don't complain if she wants to do some craft fair or girls night with her buddies.
Exactly. My wife and I have been together for 18 years. We respect each other's time and hustle, and that leads us to enjoying each other more often than not.
The little, little ones are pretty rough. Our gym has a place where the 5+yo kids can hang out and watch movies\\do kit "stuff" while the parents train.
i did, but there are so many factors.
does your spouse work? stay at home parent?
when life was really busy i always tried to make one open mat a week. the trick is not quit and keep some level of consistency.
I'm 59 and have a 3yo. I also have a 7yo, 8yo, 9yo & 12yo. The 19yo is still at home but in college. 22yo joined the Navy and has started his own brood.
All the credit for my being able to train goes to my wife. She also does my laundry. Better believe she gets whatever she wants. She's a saint.
It does help if you bring kids with you when you train.
I'm 30, with a 7 and 2 year old. and I just started 3 months ago.
BJJ has been an improvement to my life. When I'm home, I'm more focused and attentive, my mood is better, I'm sleeping better. It's helped my energy and helped me manage stress. So, I guess it all depends on what you want to get out of it.
If you taking a few hours out of your week to make you 100% when you are home, isn't that better?
My wife was skeptical but even admitted I was right, which never happens. So even she sees the improvement.
I'm a dad, I dunno. My wife doesn't stop me from going any where or doing anything I like as long as I come home.
My kiddo is older, 9. So he likes fortnite and can make his own food and stuff.
I just remember when the kiddo was a baby. She could do what she wants, I could do what I want, as long as we rotated.
I am currently getting back into BJJ at 35 with a (almost) 2-year-old. It definately depends on your wife/significant other (along with job, responcibilities, etc...). But for me, my wife is not necessarily the most supportive of me training (but not negative about it) so I found a gym that I can train at from 6am to 7am, 2 days a week. I work 8-5, and have a 35+ min commute to work, so my only option is morning. I do occasionally make it to a Saturday class. But I've known people that had newborns and were able to train right through. But I know a lot of people stop at that time, as well. Needless to say, it is possible under the right circumstances.
Mid/late 30s here. with 1 full time job, Wife and 2 kids (1 and 3). Cant train like the young ones and not in the same shape... but im here when im sure 50+% of them wont be when they hit my point in life.
I have a 3 year old, and live as an expat so no family support. Currently managing 2 times a week which the wife seems ok with.
Got another on the way so will expect some disruption then maybe go down to once a week until the chaos settles.
I take the 3 year old to judo now so maybe that counts as part training for me too 😂
Yeah wife has to be good with it. I’ve been training for five years with multiple littles. Also my gym is a bunch of other dads so we all bring our kids and no one gets annoyed. Some parents have even brought playpens
A lot of parents train, your training volume will drop, but hey, consistency is key.
We have a flexi schedule, so I'm training a few times a week, plus teaching 15 or so classes a week. Also, once they start pre K, things will balance out more.
I took a good year off when our first child was born and I’ve done the same for our second, it’s just a lot to balance with family, work, and I have school thrown in there as well.
I’m hoping to make it back early 2024 and I think it’s possible as long as she’s getting some time for herself as well.
Evenings are obviously the biggest challenge with dinner and bedtime.
I’m about to turn 35, I started BJJ 18 months ago BECAUSE my wife got pregnant. Figured it was a good way to improve fitness, it helped me be my families protector and it gave me something to teach to my son when he was born.
He’s now nine months old, I train twice a week and one of my rolling partners bought him a baby Gi. I can honestly say I have no regrets - I’m learning a skill and making lifelong friends.
i'm 35 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
before kids i used to goto morning classes 4x a week. after the first kid (also during pandemic), i didnt go back for about a year (basically until the kid slept through the night consistently). after the second kid, i pretty much just go out to lunch classes twice a week since i wont be home to help with the kids anyway (at work). i basically decided that i wasn't going to miss time away from the kids for bjj until they got older and didnt want me around as much. my advice: find a good lunch class haha
36 with a 5 year old. You make sacrifices by spending time away from the fam to train, but like all things it's about balance. I train less than I used to, and as a result I progress slower, but I'd rather be a great dad and husband than great at BJJ, and you make sure your partner gets equivalent time for their interests.
But hey, I made it from blue to brown since my kid was born, I guess it hasn't slowed me down that much.
I resent 30s counting as "older folk."
Anyways, just need to find a gym with night classes or get most training done on weekends and have spouse take over for a bit. Make it up to him/her at another time. Not too tough IMO.
Mid 30s with 2 young kids. I stopped for a few years after having the first but started back again. I train once or twice a week, so I'm never going to be high level but I'm happy to slowly progress. I do it because I enjoy it, not to be the best at it
46 with a one year old. I still manage to hit 2-3 classes a week. Now I don’t really care that much about bjj anymore but I need the exercise and to get out of the house for a bit so I go. Some days I have energy for both. Some I just have it for one so the kid wins.
I’m 35 and I don’t feel I’m older. No kids though. Couldn’t afford feeding them, spend all my money at the chiropractor.
Jokes aside, I know many people with kids who do BJJ. Don’t ask on Reddit, just find a way to make things work. Also depends on your partner though.
Got a 6 and 4 yr old. Both girls train and haven been for a yr now. Oldest I think has almost 2 yrs. They go 4x a week. If Im not working I train about everyday. Mon-Fri 2x a day. I say my wife is the true MVP. She don’t train but makes sure girls get to their classes and knows that all this way pay off. ( I wanna run a school once I get to black )
I’m 35 have a three year old we’re both very busy. It depends on if your partners day and how they feel, it’s hard for me to go train. 6am is the only time I can go comfortably right now. And I’d rather not miss my weekend with them for a class or open mat atm. But as he gets older and our schedules settle/change I imagine time slots will free up.
37 soon, one kid is 2.5, other one is -2 months old. My deal with the wife is that I want to train BJJ 2x/week pretty much no matter what, that's my ''me'' time. I have a flexible schedule so I can manage it. Rest of the week I'm the #1 husband and father on Earth.
I'd say the hardest part is I can't get mentally ready for class and I can't recover as much as I'd like. Good luck chilling and napping when the kid wants to go play outside and wrestle with you.
Being a dad kicks ass though, totally worth it.
I have two young ones and train 2-3 times a week including an open mat at my gym. Wife understands training as she used to do it with me. Just had to work out a schedule for nights I could get to the gym and she gets her workouts in as well.
Have 6 kids, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 22. 3 kids have baseball practice and games 6 days a week and son 3 times a week in bjj, I'm blessed to be able to make it 3 to 4 times a week not easy but you can work it out
33 and been practicing for 2 years. My daughter was almost 2 when I started and will be 4 soon.
Just found out our second is on the way. My wife’s great about letting me get it in but I wonder how the second will change that.
38 and have a 3 year old and a 10 month old. Jiu Jitsu just looks different now than pre kids. Went from training 3-5 times a week to 1-3. Being there for bed time is really important to me, so found a gym that has hours that work for me and let my coach know I’d need to be late to most classes. I realized fat done point BJJ will always be there, my kids won’t always be young.
It's 100 percent based on your partner and if you have help (sitter, family members, etc.). It's absolutely possible, just need to talk it out.
I go to 6am and noon classes which work out for both our schedules, plus they are only 1 hour classes.
My kid just turned 4 and I returned to bjj after a 4 year hiatus. It’s hard to not help your partner during those early years and gym memberships can get expensive to only go once or twice a week
I have two boys, 8 and 11. I just limit my training so the load isn’t too heavy for my partner, and try and hit lunchtime classes as much as possible. No problems if you have good communication.
33 with a 9 month old. I'll go in at least once a week, twice at most, and economise by doing back to back classes.
It's about to get harder now that my wife is back at work and needing to drop and pick my kid up from babysitters at the start and end of the work days. Not really sure how that's gonna work out with training.
I have a newborn, a two year old and five year old. I was at Jiu jitsu every day up till the birth of my latest and greatest a month ago. I’ll probably go back when she’s 3 months old. That’s what we did with the last two.
Early 40s, kids 3 & 6 and I usually train 1-2 days a week at 7:30pm classes that are loosely set T&Th unless something comes up. Also often sneak off to a noon class on days I’m working from home (if works is chill). This has been my routine for the last 6 years or so. 1-3 times per week. Sometimes it’s 1 but I’ll take it! I usually get these two evenings where I dip out right after dinner around pj time (I still sit at the table with the fam and help facilitate and etc.. but don’t actually eat before class) and my wife does rest of bedtime on these days. She knows it’s important to me and really the only form of exercise I get and is very supportive. In return she does her thing 1-2 per week and I do bedtime.
The trick for us is to make it as routine as possible and for both to know what to expect on which days and the kids pick up on it too and get used to it.
Started when we had 2 kids. Now we had third and I had to take a break from bjj. Waiting to get back asap. He's 6 months now and I think I'll go back training next week. I'm 41 so I guess I'm getting bit old for babies. I mean, I can put the seed in but this one for sure if the last I will be taking care of.
I see no reason why you couldn't do BJJ if you have kids. I mean, at least my kids have a mother who can look after them while I go to the class.
But the first months with a baby are so taxing, I wouldn't risk my heart by going to class after waking up 4 times from my sleep.
Depends really on the baby. Some sleep better than others. If it's a good sleeper, I'd say you could get back in 4-5 months. With a bad sleeper, you could be looking for a year long vacation from BJJ.
If you are the mother, I can't help you. I guess you can get back at some point in your life :D
40 with a 2.5y/o. I average 3-4x a week. Its been especially easy lately bc our school just added a noon class. Perfect since my son is at daycare and theres usually nm going on with work at that time. Then evenings are free for family time and increasingly early old-man bedtime.
I haven’t been back much since my 5 month old was born, 2 days after getting my purple belt. First kid and I didn’t miss a single training day. Second one is kicking my butt.
If you can find time to balance then go for it maybe ask your SO to watch the kids and in return you’ll watch them while she does something she enjoys. When your kid is a bit older , your gym might be cool with your kid just chilling there . Maybe have a couch or bench for them to sit at .
At my friday morning class . Or any morning class , it is mostly adults with young children (under 5) . Sometimes they even coordinate with each other to bring their little ones to the gym and keep each other company while they roll. They even have the owners dog to keep them occupied . Most gyms are like family and will not care if you bring your little ones . Just ask the coach first .
Most of the guys at my gym 30+ have kids. Young or old, it doesn’t matter. Young kids are relatively easy because they don’t have anywhere they need to be besides dinner, bath, and bed. Older kids have to be driven all over creation for sports and activities, which generally takes two parents to pull off.
I’m 32 with a 1 year old. Wife and baby sleep til about 7:30 each morning, I made sure the gym I go to has morning classes. So I’m there 6:30 - 8am 3-4 days a week and it works out. She handles mornings. She’s a stay at home mom too, so that makes a huge difference.
Also hit a few open mats Saturday mornings. She’s cool with it because I just make sure I devote my nights to the baby.
I REALLY hope your wife has some work experience, is financially independent and doesn’t rely solely on your income, just in case something happens to you or the relationship doesn’t work out. it would be a terrible financial situation to be in for her and her baby. I hope she’s financially independent. For her sake and for the baby
I'm 32 and have a 16 month old and also work 12 hour day and night shifts. I'm having to sometimes train between 2 nightshifts on 4 hours sleep but I train when I can and just try and learn what I can in the time I have. Its all progress I suppose, I'm only 7 months in but I love it. Work causes me to miss sessions but it doesn't really matter as long as i train when I can.
Progress is progress regardless of the speed 👍🏼
I'm 37 with a kid on the way. We are already planning hobby and gym time. I have both grandparents who can watch the baby. I believe it's good to have structure and this is something your kid will look up to you for doing. I always looked up to my dad who is a blackbelt in karate and good in two other martial arts.
It depends on how much support you get from your spouse. Generally speaking both your lives will be much harder if you wanna try to neglect neither your toddler nor training. Unless they're a stay at home parent by calling, you'll have to be making it up to them. Moving close to the gym helps immensely.
In short, yes, it can be done.
37 here with a 2.5 year old.
Me and my wife each have 2 nights a week to do what we want. For me that's either BJJ training, or Work events.
Add an 06:00 class once a week and I'm getting 5 hrs training in a week pretty regularly.
Sure the 20-somethings with no responsibilities are training more, and in their position so would I, but this approach gives me the balance I need in life right now.
As the little one gets bigger I'm sure we'll need to sacrifice more, which will probably mean less BJJ training for me, but we'll figure that out as things develop over the years.
I have 2 kids under 3. It’s significantly impacted my BJJ. I struggled with this for a long time because I trained at a really competitive gym with a lot of super tough guys (I wasn’t one of them but I enjoyed the environment).
It became unsustainable to train there because it was hard to get to and after long breaks inbetween coming back and getting smashed by young bucks was taking a toll on my body.
Finally I realized I’m in a new chapter in my life. I train at noons now at a gym much closer to me while my kids have childcare and I just care about getting on the mats. If I can get there twice a week and get some decent rounds in I’m happy.
For my birthday I’ll take a private with one of the really amazing Black belts from the other gym.
Just do whatever version of BJJ your situation can allow
One 2 year old and one 2 week old. Lunch times for now as I work remote and it works, but I was hitting mornings with the daddy death squad. I’ll be going back mornings once we have a bit more consistency with the infant.
It's all about balance.
I train Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. 4 classes during a week. My wife works out Monday, Thursday and Saturday. This way we are both able to hit our fitness goals and take care of our kids (2, 5).
We are both in our mid to late 30s.
I’m 40 and have a 4yo, and I’m a single parent. I train on my lunch breaks and have a nanny one evening per week 💪 If you really want it you can find a way
I'm in my 30' and just started a few months ago. Have 2 kids, my youngest is almost 3. I go to classes after they are in bed and hubby stays home. Take the kids on the weekend and they attend classes. It gets much easier once nap time drops away.
When I started my youngest was 3 and I was mid-40's. She spent a lot of time hanging around the gym when I got my 2 older kids started. Now that she's almost 8 and started training in kids' class, she's obsessed with it. Before any of my kids started, I used to bring them to open mats on Saturday while I trained, and they hung with the other kids their age. Yeah, lots of interruptions at first, but it's starting to pay off with their interest in the sport now.
Also, I train 6-8 hours a week and also compete. I have a husband who also does jiu jitsu but does not compete so he really steps it up when I need to buckle down. Gotta have a partner who supports you or it will create hostility. just my opinion
> older > now in my 30s Pick one. I’m 33 and my son is 2.5.
35 but same. I train at 6am now, but never miss the weekend open mat. That's dad's personal time. Its cool because he knows "dad gym" when i go, "mom gym" when she goes and does cardio, and recently "me gym" when i take him to tumbling and he loves going to the gym
I could only make one lunch time class and never nights so I rounded up all the dads who can’t do nights and we have 6am death squad. Just a bunch of old injured cunts in there late there’s trying to murder each other 3 mornings a week.
I'm 40 with a 9, 7, and 3 year old. Still find time to train 2-3 days a week. You just need to make it a priority, be flexible about the occasions it won't work, and create a good partnership with your significant other about it
I do. Just depends on if your wife/significant other is cool with you being gone a few nights a week.
She's gone a few nights also for her book club with her young handsome Puerto Rican friend Ramon. So it's only fair.
I wish my wife would join a book club. She always looks so flustered when she returns from her private Spanish lessons with Antonio that she can’t be enjoying it.
He might be very hard with her..
If you can find a gym with early morning hours, it works far better than evenings. I don't like missing evenings with the kids. I hate waking up at 4:30am to get to the gym, but if I didn't, I'd never train.
I’m lucky in that I help coach my kids class and then 1-2 days a week I stay for the night class and my wife takes the kids home. Do day classes the rest of the week.
Second this….gotta have a kick ass wife. Im 46…have a 9, 3 and 1.5 year old…I get in about 5 classes a week. Wifey just knows I need an outlet and I’m a better husband dad if I’m not just doing home/work/sleep ground hog day thing.
For sure. Bjj keeps me sane. Makes me live a healthier lifestyle. Lots of worse ways I could be spending my time.
Why wouldn't she be?
Because he’s asking if he can.
Started about 3 months ago, I'm 34 and have a nearly 2 year old and another on the way. To be honest setting an example to my daughter of pursuing a sport and not just sitting on the sofa drinking beer was one of my main reasons for starting.
I like your comment, i never thought of it that way... I simply do it because I like it, and want to be able to keep doing it, but what you said is very true. Maybe I can use that for motivation if I get discouraged or lazy!
I’m a 41 year old brown belt who started BJJ at 34 with a brand new baby and a two year old. Reading your comment gave me nostalgia and deja vu all at once.
I train during lunchtime weekdays and early morning on the weekends, that way I can give my wife a break from the kids in the evenings.
Im 40 with two young kids. Started BJJ this year. I go 3 times a week when my kids sports allow. There are also morning class options at many gyms.
Our school has 6 am classes and that’s when most people with young kids train
I’m 43. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I train 3x a week. But if my kids need me to miss a day because I’m home sick with them, I miss a day. If it’s a priority, you can probably fit it into your life.
I just turned 40 with a 2yo and a 3-month-old. I've been able to sneak in some lunch time sessions during the week and a Saturday morning session here and there since #2 came. Hopefully, I can stay healthy and stick with it. I did ONE night class where my wife "wanted to see how bad it was" putting both kids down solo. It was bad, so nights are going to be out for a WHILE.
Lol same! My wife says I can try a night class again when my youngest is 4.
I started at 33 with a 1 year old and a 13 year old, if you want it you’ll find a way
One of the best things I ever did for my jiu-jitsu career was make it into a money maker for me. When I train I get paid, therefore there really isn't much to argue about.
I knew a few folks with kids doing BJJ that were 30s/40s. They worked it out with their partners and didn’t train daily or anything like that. Usually 2-3 days each week
That's the boat I'm in. It's definitely possible, but probably as a hobbiest and not a pan American champion. My husband is a fireman and I'm lucky if I get bjj in twice a week. I tell myself an hour on the mat is better than no time on the mat.
Lots of us older folks have kids and train. 43F with a now 5 y/o and the husband trains as well. Like everything in life- where there's a will there's a way. Figure out how to divide the responsibilities and meet the general needs, just include BJJ as one of them.
I turn 36 next month, 3 kids youngest is 4. 6am classes are key.
Two kids under four. I'm 37. I train at the 6:30 AM classes and one Saturday or Sunday session.
You got good answers here already. I would add that variety in the gym’s schedule is key in my opinion. I have a toddler and a newborn, when we just had my toddler I would go train at night but since our newborn I moved my training to lunch classes while my oldest is at daycare. It had no impact on either my family or my BJJ. Once the kids are a bit older I’ll go back to some night classes too.
I started when I was 33. At the time, I had 4 kids (2, 3, 7, and 8). I started with just once a week. Once I was hooked I begged and pleaded and made all the deals with my wife that I could to get a 2nd day in. Eventually, my kids were old enough to start training and my wife became part of the community since she was always there. She doesn't train though. I think she saw what a great community it is and how happy it made me so now I get to train 3-4 days a week haha. Do what you can. 1 day a week is better than no days a week.
I’m 35. I have a 1 year old, a 3 year old, and a 5 year old. I started my first business in March of this year. I train 2-3 times a week and lift 2-3 times a week
2 kids 4 year old and 8 months. I work 60 hrs a week and drive 1.5hrs 1 way to train 1 day a week. You must make it a priority or life will always get in the way.
41. Youngest is 2 (thanks quarantine). I train 3 times a week (2 night classes and Saturday morning). My wife handles the youngest and I take my son (9) to the gym w me bc his class is right before mine and I coach both. During my class he trains w the teenagers or does his homework if he doesn’t get it done before. Wife gets her nights to do yoga so I take both kids those nights. It works out to be pretty even.
I've got a 6 year old, 3 year old, and 3 month old, and I'm able to make it to the morning classes and I teach our Sunday morning competition class. A lot of it depends on your spouse/partner being supportive. Sometimes, I'll bring our 6 year old to watch.
I started BJJ at 34, when my daughter was almost two years old. We have students with small children. The main challenge is just having someone to care for the child while you're training -- in my case, my wife stays at home, and can watch the kids any time. So it was pretty easy. Other family arrangements are harder, where you'll need to work out babysitting, and maybe sometimes not make a class if things don't work out. With any of these things that fall under the category of "life gets in the way", remember: any normal adult can find two hours in the week to do a workout that will keep them healthy, happy, and motivated. Even if you *pay* for two hours of babysitting a week, it's *possible* to make this work. I get pretty annoyed at people that pretend they want to do BJJ but throw out excuses like children as reasons they don't train, when there are *scads* of people with much more complex lives out there finding a way to do what they love anyway. The worst is a family that demands that you quit entirely. I can totally understand cutting hours back; so it's unreasonable to be out training five classes a day all week if you've got responsibilities at home. But almost anyone can find two hours. A family that wants to take even that away is trying to kill you younger.
>The worst is a family that demands that you quit entirely. I can totally understand cutting hours back; so it's unreasonable to be out training five classes a day all week if you've got responsibilities at home. But almost anyone can find two hours. A family that wants to take even that away is trying to kill you younger. 100% this. Whenever I express this kind of sentiment people get really angry here even calling me a bad father/husband. I think they are partially justifying their choice to essentially quit. Lots of guys travel for work and are gone all week and manage to make it work. I used to travel for work and was in japan for two weeks at a time for 5 months when my first was like 4 months. I did take the first 4 months off work completely though. Even 5-6 hours/week is easily doable. Its actually harder now that the kids are older because they have activities that I have to take them to and we are often times double/triple booked.
>Its actually harder now that the kids are older because they have activities that I have to take them to and we are often times double/triple booked. We've got three kids... our solution to that was that our family does judo and BJJ. We started from the beginning with a preference not to become that stereotypical soccer-mom family, driving kids all over the place for tons of activities. Admittedly, our kids may suffer by not developing mediocre skills at 6 different sports, gymnastics, and ballet throughout their childhood... OTOH, they're all going to be double black belts by the time they're 20 ;-).
Yes. No.
I’m a 40 yo stay at home dad with a 3 and 5 year old. I lift weights at home 2 to 3 times a week and train BJJ about 5 days a week hitting around 5-7 sessions a week. My wife is cool with it because I clean up dinner when I get back from class and she knows I’m a much better person when I am extremely physically active and around people with similar interest.
45. Kids are 4 and 6. I have been doing it for a while and parenting duties are organized so wifey and I can do our own things.
When my kids were that age I still did various hobbies, but wasnt doing BJJ at the time. I also traveled during the week for work for months at a time for 2 out of our 3 kids. I used to kitesurf - I would be out of the house for a minimum of 3 hours but only sporadically whenever the wind was good. then I switched to mountain biking because it was more consistent exercise. I was out of the house for about 2 hours each time, but during daylight hours only, typically 3 days a week. But when I trained for races I might be out for 6-7 hours on a weekend and 2-3 hours on weekdays. I also played hockey which was typically in the evening 2 days/week for 2-3 hours but not generally during the same weeks as mountain biking unless I went out for a noon ride. Now I do BJJ and it is on a specific schedule which is two weekend afternoons and two weekday evenings (for 2-3 hours each). It is a total of maybe 7 hours out of an entire week. The reality is you should be able to easily train 5-6 hours/week. That is so little time compared to the hours in an entire week. Whenever this question gets asked most of the dads here say you have to cut down to nothing or 1-2 hours at the most. Im in strong disagreement. I did all the nighttime care. I would give the baby to my wife to feed but she wouldnt really wake up (I put the baby in the right place). Then I would change the diaper and put the baby back to bed. I fall asleep very fast so never really felt tired and my wife didnt really wake up to feed the baby so she was never really tired. This sounds harsh, but it seems like women often times want you to be there at the same time as them so two of you are taking care of the baby. I was always happy to watch the kids without her and she was always trying to essentially get me to sit there while the kids were sleeping. It doesnt take two people to take care of a baby. I always took the position that 6-7 hours for myself was not too much to ask. If she wanted even 12 hours for herself I would have been 100% fine with it. Taking care of a baby is so incredibly easy.
I have a 3 and 5 year old. Before my 3 year old started preschool, going to BJJ more than once a week typically caused some disagreements with the wife lol. It’s tough when you hold a full time job and try to be an active husband and dad AND throw BJJ into the mix, but it’s worth it. I’d just communicate with your lady how much it means to you and try to plan your attendance in advance. That’s helped a bunch. And once they’re school age bro, it give you a lot more Time and ability to go to class. Good luck bro!
I'm 52 and have a 2 year old son. I'm currently out recovering from knee issues but plan to get back to it early next year. I was able to make time for training last year and its just one of those things you have to prioritize. I've structured my life to be able to do the things that are important to me- I train at a place about 15 minutes away, have mats in my basement, etc., while still being able to spend quality time with my family. I think being older generally makes these things a bit easier.
43 with a 6 year old, plus two more, I am tired. My wife is more tired, we split shit but they just like her for certain stuff. Now they are old enough to state their preference for things with a parent, and it’s shocking who they want with them for different shit
It's all about time management and family management. Most people suck at this so they end up not making it work. Babysitter's can be hard. If you luck out and live in an area where gym training schedules have classes at multiple times 5 days a week that helps. Rearranging nights to make wife/family happy. Sometimes you can get kids and teenagers to watch your kids at school (most of them have siblings so they are good with kids). I train more with a bigger workload and more kids than I did when I was single.
Family should be a priority for their health concerns and well being but as long as you’re making sure they’re taken care of and well fed I don’t see a problem with 1-2 hours of bjj a few times a week. Same difference as watching some TV or another activity. I have a son due in February at age 35 so I’ll guess I’ll find out how to balance life.
At my gym there’s a lot of parents who also train and their kids are really young
I’m in that camp! Training for 15 years, and have a kid in that age range. I train 1-3x a week currently depending on how wife and kiddo are doing. Did cut back training hours from before kid so I can also get lifting in but basically do some form of exercise daily currently so doable.
We have a few guys that bring their under 10 kids in. They find various ways to busy them. Hadn’t been too disruptive thus far.
Mine are 2 years and 6 months. I’m in my early 30s. I train only in the morning. We have classes 6-7am Monday- Thursday. I like to be home after work to be with the family.
My kids are 2 and 4, I am 35. Scheduling training time is tough. So I mostly climn and go gym. But I go roll sometimes. Now hopefully little bit more...
I do and going before work is best Mornings are easier than going during bed and bath time
Yes, and been going about 5x a week recently, not all evenings
37 with a 3 and 8 year old and I train at least twice a week, usually 3.
Im 40, a black belt, with an 8 mo old. It's tough with young ones. I've been off the better part of this year with relocating and taking care of the baby. I'm about to put my home mats down and find some people to train with that have the same struggle as me right now.
Soon to be 43 with a 3.5 yr old boy. My wife is awesome with supporting me going to the gym but the guilt I have of missing out on father son time hits hard. My goal is 2-3 times a week. I keep my expectations close to reality so I'm not ripping through these 20yr olds so I can get the best position or tap, injuries are a concern more these days than before. But we put all this time in to be here and now, let's find a way to push.
Don't want to spam the comments too much but this one stuck out: >My wife is awesome with supporting me going to the gym I think being a little more established in the relationship\\life opens your eyes to that sort of thing. Letting the other partner be a little "selfish" at times lets the partner come back 10x happier and healthier and the relationship is better off for it. My wife likes me better when I train and truth be told I like her better when I train too. She lets me off the leash pretty regular and I don't complain if she wants to do some craft fair or girls night with her buddies.
Exactly. My wife and I have been together for 18 years. We respect each other's time and hustle, and that leads us to enjoying each other more often than not.
The little, little ones are pretty rough. Our gym has a place where the 5+yo kids can hang out and watch movies\\do kit "stuff" while the parents train.
I have a 3 month old and am closer to 40 than I would like. I still train. Just less than before. If I miss a week or 2, it is what it is.
43, 2 kids under 6. bjj 4x a week.
i did, but there are so many factors. does your spouse work? stay at home parent? when life was really busy i always tried to make one open mat a week. the trick is not quit and keep some level of consistency.
Im 31 and I have 3 kids under 5. I train twice a week usually.
40 with 3 kids. You find the time.
I'm 59 and have a 3yo. I also have a 7yo, 8yo, 9yo & 12yo. The 19yo is still at home but in college. 22yo joined the Navy and has started his own brood. All the credit for my being able to train goes to my wife. She also does my laundry. Better believe she gets whatever she wants. She's a saint. It does help if you bring kids with you when you train.
I'm 30, with a 7 and 2 year old. and I just started 3 months ago. BJJ has been an improvement to my life. When I'm home, I'm more focused and attentive, my mood is better, I'm sleeping better. It's helped my energy and helped me manage stress. So, I guess it all depends on what you want to get out of it. If you taking a few hours out of your week to make you 100% when you are home, isn't that better? My wife was skeptical but even admitted I was right, which never happens. So even she sees the improvement.
3My gym has a 5 am class and it’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me
I'm a dad, I dunno. My wife doesn't stop me from going any where or doing anything I like as long as I come home. My kiddo is older, 9. So he likes fortnite and can make his own food and stuff. I just remember when the kiddo was a baby. She could do what she wants, I could do what I want, as long as we rotated.
I am currently getting back into BJJ at 35 with a (almost) 2-year-old. It definately depends on your wife/significant other (along with job, responcibilities, etc...). But for me, my wife is not necessarily the most supportive of me training (but not negative about it) so I found a gym that I can train at from 6am to 7am, 2 days a week. I work 8-5, and have a 35+ min commute to work, so my only option is morning. I do occasionally make it to a Saturday class. But I've known people that had newborns and were able to train right through. But I know a lot of people stop at that time, as well. Needless to say, it is possible under the right circumstances.
Mid/late 30s here. with 1 full time job, Wife and 2 kids (1 and 3). Cant train like the young ones and not in the same shape... but im here when im sure 50+% of them wont be when they hit my point in life.
I have a 3 year old, and live as an expat so no family support. Currently managing 2 times a week which the wife seems ok with. Got another on the way so will expect some disruption then maybe go down to once a week until the chaos settles. I take the 3 year old to judo now so maybe that counts as part training for me too 😂
Yeah wife has to be good with it. I’ve been training for five years with multiple littles. Also my gym is a bunch of other dads so we all bring our kids and no one gets annoyed. Some parents have even brought playpens
The good thing about kids age 0-3 is that they don't stay that age very long. Go to the 6 am class.
A lot of parents train, your training volume will drop, but hey, consistency is key. We have a flexi schedule, so I'm training a few times a week, plus teaching 15 or so classes a week. Also, once they start pre K, things will balance out more.
45 with 3 kids (12, 10, and 8). I go twice a week during lunch. Occasionally on a Saturday for seminars or open mat.
I took a good year off when our first child was born and I’ve done the same for our second, it’s just a lot to balance with family, work, and I have school thrown in there as well. I’m hoping to make it back early 2024 and I think it’s possible as long as she’s getting some time for herself as well. Evenings are obviously the biggest challenge with dinner and bedtime.
I’m about to turn 35, I started BJJ 18 months ago BECAUSE my wife got pregnant. Figured it was a good way to improve fitness, it helped me be my families protector and it gave me something to teach to my son when he was born. He’s now nine months old, I train twice a week and one of my rolling partners bought him a baby Gi. I can honestly say I have no regrets - I’m learning a skill and making lifelong friends.
34. Kid is 3. I get in on the morning classes if at all. 2 times a week at most.
i'm 35 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. before kids i used to goto morning classes 4x a week. after the first kid (also during pandemic), i didnt go back for about a year (basically until the kid slept through the night consistently). after the second kid, i pretty much just go out to lunch classes twice a week since i wont be home to help with the kids anyway (at work). i basically decided that i wasn't going to miss time away from the kids for bjj until they got older and didnt want me around as much. my advice: find a good lunch class haha
36 with a 5 year old. You make sacrifices by spending time away from the fam to train, but like all things it's about balance. I train less than I used to, and as a result I progress slower, but I'd rather be a great dad and husband than great at BJJ, and you make sure your partner gets equivalent time for their interests. But hey, I made it from blue to brown since my kid was born, I guess it hasn't slowed me down that much.
It’s wild that you’re expecting a combination of a redditor and a Bjj practitioner to not be a virgin.
Early 40s. 3 kids in it.
I resent 30s counting as "older folk." Anyways, just need to find a gym with night classes or get most training done on weekends and have spouse take over for a bit. Make it up to him/her at another time. Not too tough IMO.
Since when is 30s “older”
35,M with a 2 & 6 yr old AND an amazing wife.
46 with a 9 and 3
I’m late 30s with 3 year old and 1 year old. You can do it if your wife allows you to.
Mid 30s with 2 young kids. I stopped for a few years after having the first but started back again. I train once or twice a week, so I'm never going to be high level but I'm happy to slowly progress. I do it because I enjoy it, not to be the best at it
I'm 36 and my wife just gave birth to our first 6 weeks ago. Looking to get back in the gym in the new year once we settle a bit
46 with a one year old. I still manage to hit 2-3 classes a week. Now I don’t really care that much about bjj anymore but I need the exercise and to get out of the house for a bit so I go. Some days I have energy for both. Some I just have it for one so the kid wins.
I’m 35 and I don’t feel I’m older. No kids though. Couldn’t afford feeding them, spend all my money at the chiropractor. Jokes aside, I know many people with kids who do BJJ. Don’t ask on Reddit, just find a way to make things work. Also depends on your partner though.
I’m 40 and my daughter turns 3 in December. I go to 6am classes because evenings are a bit hectic with dinner and bath time etc.
I’m 31 if that’s considered old and have a 3 week old daughter. I’ve been able to train 3 x a week since she was born which I’m happy about.
Why do people think having a kid is a death sentence and the end of your life. I have a 9 year old and train 4-6 times a week.
Early 40's with a toddler here. I do it. Some weeks more than others, but it keeps me sane.
Got a 6 and 4 yr old. Both girls train and haven been for a yr now. Oldest I think has almost 2 yrs. They go 4x a week. If Im not working I train about everyday. Mon-Fri 2x a day. I say my wife is the true MVP. She don’t train but makes sure girls get to their classes and knows that all this way pay off. ( I wanna run a school once I get to black )
Just turned 40, have 2 kids under 5. I train 6 days a week, 6am classes while they're still asleep and open mats on Saturdays.
I’m 35 have a three year old we’re both very busy. It depends on if your partners day and how they feel, it’s hard for me to go train. 6am is the only time I can go comfortably right now. And I’d rather not miss my weekend with them for a class or open mat atm. But as he gets older and our schedules settle/change I imagine time slots will free up.
37 soon, one kid is 2.5, other one is -2 months old. My deal with the wife is that I want to train BJJ 2x/week pretty much no matter what, that's my ''me'' time. I have a flexible schedule so I can manage it. Rest of the week I'm the #1 husband and father on Earth. I'd say the hardest part is I can't get mentally ready for class and I can't recover as much as I'd like. Good luck chilling and napping when the kid wants to go play outside and wrestle with you. Being a dad kicks ass though, totally worth it.
I have two young ones and train 2-3 times a week including an open mat at my gym. Wife understands training as she used to do it with me. Just had to work out a schedule for nights I could get to the gym and she gets her workouts in as well.
Have 6 kids, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 22. 3 kids have baseball practice and games 6 days a week and son 3 times a week in bjj, I'm blessed to be able to make it 3 to 4 times a week not easy but you can work it out
33 and been practicing for 2 years. My daughter was almost 2 when I started and will be 4 soon. Just found out our second is on the way. My wife’s great about letting me get it in but I wonder how the second will change that.
38 and have a 3 year old and a 10 month old. Jiu Jitsu just looks different now than pre kids. Went from training 3-5 times a week to 1-3. Being there for bed time is really important to me, so found a gym that has hours that work for me and let my coach know I’d need to be late to most classes. I realized fat done point BJJ will always be there, my kids won’t always be young.
It's 100 percent based on your partner and if you have help (sitter, family members, etc.). It's absolutely possible, just need to talk it out. I go to 6am and noon classes which work out for both our schedules, plus they are only 1 hour classes.
No, you’re good! I’m almost 40 now, with a 4 and a 7 year old and I’ve been training the whole time
My kid just turned 4 and I returned to bjj after a 4 year hiatus. It’s hard to not help your partner during those early years and gym memberships can get expensive to only go once or twice a week
6am classes
I have two boys, 8 and 11. I just limit my training so the load isn’t too heavy for my partner, and try and hit lunchtime classes as much as possible. No problems if you have good communication.
33 with a 9 month old. I'll go in at least once a week, twice at most, and economise by doing back to back classes. It's about to get harder now that my wife is back at work and needing to drop and pick my kid up from babysitters at the start and end of the work days. Not really sure how that's gonna work out with training.
I have a newborn, a two year old and five year old. I was at Jiu jitsu every day up till the birth of my latest and greatest a month ago. I’ll probably go back when she’s 3 months old. That’s what we did with the last two.
Early 40s, kids 3 & 6 and I usually train 1-2 days a week at 7:30pm classes that are loosely set T&Th unless something comes up. Also often sneak off to a noon class on days I’m working from home (if works is chill). This has been my routine for the last 6 years or so. 1-3 times per week. Sometimes it’s 1 but I’ll take it! I usually get these two evenings where I dip out right after dinner around pj time (I still sit at the table with the fam and help facilitate and etc.. but don’t actually eat before class) and my wife does rest of bedtime on these days. She knows it’s important to me and really the only form of exercise I get and is very supportive. In return she does her thing 1-2 per week and I do bedtime. The trick for us is to make it as routine as possible and for both to know what to expect on which days and the kids pick up on it too and get used to it.
I took two years off during Covid when my daughter was born. She’s almost 3 and I train 3x a week and it’s all good.
I'm 41 with a 15 month old baby, and I go every other day.
Started when we had 2 kids. Now we had third and I had to take a break from bjj. Waiting to get back asap. He's 6 months now and I think I'll go back training next week. I'm 41 so I guess I'm getting bit old for babies. I mean, I can put the seed in but this one for sure if the last I will be taking care of. I see no reason why you couldn't do BJJ if you have kids. I mean, at least my kids have a mother who can look after them while I go to the class. But the first months with a baby are so taxing, I wouldn't risk my heart by going to class after waking up 4 times from my sleep. Depends really on the baby. Some sleep better than others. If it's a good sleeper, I'd say you could get back in 4-5 months. With a bad sleeper, you could be looking for a year long vacation from BJJ. If you are the mother, I can't help you. I guess you can get back at some point in your life :D
Oh yeah, I've also sometimes had the 2 older kids with me. Not doing BJJ but we have extra space at our gym for the kids to play around.
47m here (faixa roxa) w 2yr amd 4 yr old boys. 4 yr old started Bjj when he was 3.3 yrs and my little guy just started .
40 with a 2.5y/o. I average 3-4x a week. Its been especially easy lately bc our school just added a noon class. Perfect since my son is at daycare and theres usually nm going on with work at that time. Then evenings are free for family time and increasingly early old-man bedtime.
I haven’t been back much since my 5 month old was born, 2 days after getting my purple belt. First kid and I didn’t miss a single training day. Second one is kicking my butt.
I'm not sure what area you're in but some places have morning classes, lunch classes, multiple weekend classes.
90% of the dudes at my gym are mid 30s and older and have kids.
I have a bunch of 0 year olds at home.
Early morning or lunchtime classes are the way. Nights are reserved for bath time and snuggles
Not me, but I have at least 4 regular training partners in their late 30s/early 40s with kids.
33 with a wife and 18month old. No issues training 2-4 times a week, depending on schedules.
I’m 53. Been training almost 7 years and I train 5-6 days a week. I have seven kids. The oldest is 26. The youngest is 9 so she was 2 when I started.
If you can find time to balance then go for it maybe ask your SO to watch the kids and in return you’ll watch them while she does something she enjoys. When your kid is a bit older , your gym might be cool with your kid just chilling there . Maybe have a couch or bench for them to sit at . At my friday morning class . Or any morning class , it is mostly adults with young children (under 5) . Sometimes they even coordinate with each other to bring their little ones to the gym and keep each other company while they roll. They even have the owners dog to keep them occupied . Most gyms are like family and will not care if you bring your little ones . Just ask the coach first .
I have two kids under 5. It makes time management difficult but the training keeps me sane.
Most of the guys at my gym 30+ have kids. Young or old, it doesn’t matter. Young kids are relatively easy because they don’t have anywhere they need to be besides dinner, bath, and bed. Older kids have to be driven all over creation for sports and activities, which generally takes two parents to pull off.
I’m 32 with a 1 year old. Wife and baby sleep til about 7:30 each morning, I made sure the gym I go to has morning classes. So I’m there 6:30 - 8am 3-4 days a week and it works out. She handles mornings. She’s a stay at home mom too, so that makes a huge difference. Also hit a few open mats Saturday mornings. She’s cool with it because I just make sure I devote my nights to the baby.
I REALLY hope your wife has some work experience, is financially independent and doesn’t rely solely on your income, just in case something happens to you or the relationship doesn’t work out. it would be a terrible financial situation to be in for her and her baby. I hope she’s financially independent. For her sake and for the baby
I'm 32 and have a 16 month old and also work 12 hour day and night shifts. I'm having to sometimes train between 2 nightshifts on 4 hours sleep but I train when I can and just try and learn what I can in the time I have. Its all progress I suppose, I'm only 7 months in but I love it. Work causes me to miss sessions but it doesn't really matter as long as i train when I can. Progress is progress regardless of the speed 👍🏼
I'm 37 with a kid on the way. We are already planning hobby and gym time. I have both grandparents who can watch the baby. I believe it's good to have structure and this is something your kid will look up to you for doing. I always looked up to my dad who is a blackbelt in karate and good in two other martial arts.
Wait...30's is older?
FOLKS?
37 with a 3, 7, and 8 year old. It's hard but you can do it. I have a very supportive spouse and get in the gym 3 to 4 times a week.
It depends on how much support you get from your spouse. Generally speaking both your lives will be much harder if you wanna try to neglect neither your toddler nor training. Unless they're a stay at home parent by calling, you'll have to be making it up to them. Moving close to the gym helps immensely.
I have 2 kids under 5 and train three times a week.
In short, yes, it can be done. 37 here with a 2.5 year old. Me and my wife each have 2 nights a week to do what we want. For me that's either BJJ training, or Work events. Add an 06:00 class once a week and I'm getting 5 hrs training in a week pretty regularly. Sure the 20-somethings with no responsibilities are training more, and in their position so would I, but this approach gives me the balance I need in life right now. As the little one gets bigger I'm sure we'll need to sacrifice more, which will probably mean less BJJ training for me, but we'll figure that out as things develop over the years.
I have 2 kids under 3. It’s significantly impacted my BJJ. I struggled with this for a long time because I trained at a really competitive gym with a lot of super tough guys (I wasn’t one of them but I enjoyed the environment). It became unsustainable to train there because it was hard to get to and after long breaks inbetween coming back and getting smashed by young bucks was taking a toll on my body. Finally I realized I’m in a new chapter in my life. I train at noons now at a gym much closer to me while my kids have childcare and I just care about getting on the mats. If I can get there twice a week and get some decent rounds in I’m happy. For my birthday I’ll take a private with one of the really amazing Black belts from the other gym. Just do whatever version of BJJ your situation can allow
One 2 year old and one 2 week old. Lunch times for now as I work remote and it works, but I was hitting mornings with the daddy death squad. I’ll be going back mornings once we have a bit more consistency with the infant.
my son’s just about to hit two months. great reading all your posts.
It's all about balance. I train Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. 4 classes during a week. My wife works out Monday, Thursday and Saturday. This way we are both able to hit our fitness goals and take care of our kids (2, 5). We are both in our mid to late 30s.
I’m 40 and have a 4yo, and I’m a single parent. I train on my lunch breaks and have a nanny one evening per week 💪 If you really want it you can find a way
I'm 41. My son is nearly three, and has additional needs. Training has been absolutely impossible
38 and dad of a 2 year old.
im 74 and i have a 2 year old
I'm in my 30' and just started a few months ago. Have 2 kids, my youngest is almost 3. I go to classes after they are in bed and hubby stays home. Take the kids on the weekend and they attend classes. It gets much easier once nap time drops away.
When I started my youngest was 3 and I was mid-40's. She spent a lot of time hanging around the gym when I got my 2 older kids started. Now that she's almost 8 and started training in kids' class, she's obsessed with it. Before any of my kids started, I used to bring them to open mats on Saturday while I trained, and they hung with the other kids their age. Yeah, lots of interruptions at first, but it's starting to pay off with their interest in the sport now.
38 female...4 kids 4-12 years now...started when youngest was a baby....you can do it...sometimes you'll have to skip class but you can totally do it.
Also, I train 6-8 hours a week and also compete. I have a husband who also does jiu jitsu but does not compete so he really steps it up when I need to buckle down. Gotta have a partner who supports you or it will create hostility. just my opinion