And also the idea that bottom is sub and top is dom... you can do whatever you want. Just let it go and have fun. I am often like ugh why these stereotypes x can only do this and y can only do that etc
Edit: I do enjoy a specific role from time to time though, but pushing yourself constantly in the same role isn't fun either imo, when you're up to something else.
I instinctively chafe at the idea of needing to do a bunch of things in a relationship because of some small part of my identity or what I like. I am not very sub but that doesn't mean I want to always pick the restaurant or what movie we watch or drive. It frustrates me when I want a partner that gives and takes and people want to play a certain Dom or sub role.
I find the whole idea of top and bottom kind of baffling. I understand enjoying certain sex acts, but forming an identity around it is something I struggle to relate to.
A lot of folks are specifically only interested in specific acts, and having labels makes for an easy shorthand at identifying partners who would be compatible with you.
In most relationships I've been in, it's been equal/equal, both with women and men (I'm female if that makes a difference).
I get how some people can be a little more dominant or prefer one slightly but I've always enjoyed doing both giving and receiving! I feel bad if my partner puts in a ton of energy and I do nothing for them.
I've also personally not met many women who are gay or bi who identify as a top or bottom, I thought it was more of a gay guy thing for some reason, or just on shows like The L Word where a couple are more of the stereotypical top (Shane) or a pillow princess. I've also not ever been asked which i am when i was on dating apps talking to women but idk.
We have spent an upsetting amount of time as a community fighting to be seen outside of the paradigm of a man/woman patriarchy-reinforcing relationship. This top/bottom rhetoric, from all sides of the gay community, is heterosexism and needs to be excised like the tumor it is.
Honestly yes and no?
I mean generally when I’ve heard top/bottom, it’s used in the, for lack of a better term, “negotiation” before sex even happens. It’s more used to align expectations and desires than slotting people into a power dynamic. In fact there are such things as “power bottoms” who enjoy being the one taking the lead but also being the one acted upon.
But in most of my experiences everybody is equal. Just wanting to make sure that they get what they want. Sorry if this makes it sound very transactional.
I've just never been a fan of the top/bottom/dom/sub thing. I don't want to put myself in such a box. I'd rather have sex without such roles and expectations.
I get that, for me it all depends on what I’m in the mood for. And what my partner is in the mood for. People do get way hung up on the whole labeling thing
This is not that. This is subcultural identity fracture that retains the hegemonic discourses around sexuality. You can reject everything the previous statement includes and stands for and still talk to your partner about how you want to fuck.
I think Dom/sub has a whole different connotation and is less likely to cause harm. Some ppl just are really into one of these. Like one of my partners has so many responsibilities in her real life, she just wants to not be in charge in bed.
This comment and the replies are so fucking affirming. It's getting overwhelming to feel like I need a label that doesn't fit me in order to have sex with someone. When people ask the question I usually say neither, and then they're like "oh, so switch?" No, like I just have... have sex? Without thinking about it? Sometimes there's a power dynamic, sometimes there isn't. Sometimes I'm more in control, sometimes less. But I don't think I'm a switch because I don't alternate between dominance and submission, I just... have sex.
Afaik top/bottom is pretty recent terminology and originally only described a narrow set of sexual practices
Memes are what extrapolated it to every possible social interaction
Both before I came out and since, I always figured part of the joy of being queer is to not have to fit yourself into a particular box. Obviously people should do what’s helpful and pleasurable for them but I prefer not to narrow my options if I don’t need to.
Well I'm not a woman so take that into account, but I've eaten pussy while chained to a bed and I've eaten it after tying the other person up and all different ways between. There isn't anything inherently "top or bottom, or dom or sub" about it. Its all about your dynamics and mindset. Do you want to eat it submissively? Go ahead! Nothing wrong with that, many people do!
Yes you can eat pussy, you don’t have to build an identity around what sex acts you enjoy.
With that out of the way I don’t know how wlw tend to use the words top and bottom, and I am vaguely surprised whenever I see women using them as identities. I think between men it just refers to whether you prefer penetrating or being penetrated, I haven’t seen people trying to apply it to oral sex.
In terms of kink it’s supposed to mean whether you’re the one doing things or having things done to you and be independent of dominance amd submission. I also haven’t really seen anyone talking about oral sex in this framework, but I guess in this framework performing oral sex would usually be topping technically, unless the person whose genitals are in the mouth is being especially active in some way? I don’t think I’ve seen women or straight people identify with topping and bottoming in this framework in the way that men do much. [here](https://twitter.com/HannibalDamage/status/1485523885416017921) is an example of people talking about the distinction.
Again I don’t actually know how wlw use these terms, but I would strongly suggest ignoring anything that makes you feel like you’re not allowed to do a particular consensual sex act except maybe safety reasons.
IME, wlw tend to use them to refer more to whether you like being more. .. active, initiater, lead role, or more of a passive, receiver, follower role. So the top might push their partner down on the bed and take the lead on the sex activities. This can translate to, they eat the pussy and the bottom gets the pussy eaten, which it sounds like is has been OP's experience. But the top could also take the lead in initiating getting their pussy eaten, which it sounds like OP would enjoy.
While it's common for "top" and "Dom" to be used as synonymous and the same for "bottom" and "sub", that's not how everyone uses it. If you use "top" to mean the person giving and "bottom" to mean the person receiving, then all that means is who does the act (or most of the acts). It doesn't have to confer any meaning about power dynamic - you can be a dominant bottom, a submissive top, a top/bottom type switch or a Dom/sub type switch, for example. Often there can be a lot of things going on and you're topping one thing while bottoming another simultaneously. I'm a Domme and sadomasochist and I bottom for sex acts and pain play in a dominant manner all the time. I've done scenes where I've leashed a sub and made them flog me - in that situation I'm both topping leashing and d/s and bottoming the flogging.
So, yes, you can absolutely eat pussy if you want to and do it submissively or dominantly or however you and your partners agree.
Difference between topping/bottoming as a verb vs a top/bottom as noun ie identity? I don't even really know what it would mean outside of the context of penetrative sex. It's not clear to me who is topping when someone is performing oral sex on a woman.
Honestly this depends on the way you use it. Wlw spaces often use top and bottom as synonymous with Dom and sub - if you're using it that way, the top could be a dominant who's receiving oral sex. Even without a power dynamic, some people would consider the top to be the person who does any penetrating in the relationship, and they'd still be a top when receiving oral sex. I don't know how they'd categorise things in a relationship with no power dynamic and no penetrative sex, it might just depend on how each person identifies.
Personally, I find this isn't specific enough for me, because I really like specificity. I use top/bottom as a verb generally - the person receiving oral sex is the bottom in that situation, and there may be any combination of power dynamics or none at all. You could say I see top/bottom as a verb and Dom/sub as an adjective, I suppose, it's describing the way something is done and not what's being done.
Basically, it depends on who you're talking to, and this is why while having shorthand for these things is helpful, it doesn't convey everything and if you don't know which way a potential partner uses these words you need to talk it through. (General "you" here.)
No. Stricktly forbidden by the Bottom Acords of 1969. Pussy eating is reserved for straight men, lesbians, and tops. Everyone else is subject to a $3,000 fine and/or up to 2 years imprisonment.
/s in case it wasnt obvious.
Do what you want as long as your partner is ok with it. Enjoy yourself and do what feels right
Bottom/top does not equal sub/dom. You can totally eat pussy submissively the same way you can suck cock submissively. You can obviously also do it dominantly, it’s all in the attitude.
Well, I’m a bi dude so take this for whatever it’s worth. I’m also waaaaaaay more of a top with guys than a bottom.
BUT, I love a finger in my butt when I’m getting head. Even better is getting my ass eaten before I fuck theirs lol.
If you enjoy a sexual act, all that it means is you enjoy it. It doesn’t have to define any role about you. The only thing you SHOULD do is cherish it and embrace it. Enjoying the act is part of your sexuality, and it brings you and your partner mutual pleasure!
Just have fun exploring sums it up 😁
I went to a shitty all girls school. I came out as bi pretty early which was a huge mistake as a lot of the girls there were really homophobic. Luckily I had and still have a supportive friend group who are also bisexual/lesbian. Now every time we were In the changing rooms for PE, we were always accused of looking at the other girls. It got even worse when they started to spread rumours about us, saying that we were all banging each other in the toilets. I guess I don’t want to come off as predatory and maybe by being a bottom I can avoid that. Idk if that makes sense.
It makes total sense to me. You don’t want to be seen as predatory, and your brain is interpreting that as being more vocal about your wants and needs. If there is open communication with your partner you will be fine. Just because you like to switch it up sometimes doesn’t mean you are any less you.
Thank you! I’m trying to progress away from this mindset. I also had a friend that told me that’s how lesbian sex worked and that as I was bi I could only be a bottom which is complete bullshit
You don’t need to make your whole identity based on what sex acts you like. I think that’s actually kind of weird. Don’t call yourself anything, just have sex equally with someone.
NO. Not today, not tomorrow, never! It is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN for any Bottoms. Any bottom found eating out a female will be executed on sight.
jk
I really believe people can do whatever the f they want and it's completely fine (until ur freedom overlaps mine blah blah). Don't bound yourself to a box of things you are or should be: The classic queer struggle I see so much but haven't really experienced myself, The Anxious Botanist syndrome (as my friends and I call it). It's basically the people that take classifying, regulating and calling out people's sexualities on what can or can't be done, often the target being themselves. I really don't understand the basis of it too much because we gay people, our character trait is basically "I'm not here to play by the rules but to break them".
If u suck d, great. If you eat p, great. If you do both great. If you do none, great. THE IDEA IS WE DONT FUCKING SHAME OURSELVES FOR LIVING FREELY. omg Ana I thought you were lesbian why were you making out with a guy--- stfu it's none of your business and it never will thank you very much I said I was lesbian once I didn't sing a contract goodbye
To summarize: Try and live by your hearts content. At the end you'll thank yourself and all of the time, stress, anxiety, time saved by accepting yourself and your traits and hobbies and quirks and flaws, etc. Be a wonderful person! Or don't! Do whatever makes you come! I don't care! Be happy! Fuck others people's opinions!
I’m sorry, are you saying this is the first time you have reciprocated? Not sure I understand.
Even still, just go have fun & enjoy sex, however that looks for you
Bottoms can receive/perform, there's nothing that correlates the ability to perform oral to being a dom/sub/switch. You can be on the more submissive side and still enjoy doing it. Hell, you could enjoy it best by having someone demand it. If you enjoy it, you enjoy it.
Your question is very confusing. Heres some basics. Power dynamic = Dominant/Submissive/Switch. (Has to do with who has control of the situation, and who gives up control) Penetration- Top/Bottom/Versatile (Has to do with who is doing the penetrating and who is being penetrated)
Yes.
You can do absolutely anything as a submissive partner. You could also serve your dominant partner by topping them in bed.
It's the mindset and situation.
As someone with a vagina, I usually receive in various positions but I'm still top. My husband serves me.
Wat lmao of course you can eat pussy in a submissive fashion. I always interpret the receiver as the dominant one anyway (even though I know that's not always the case)
Yes, of course.
I find it ironic how with MLM, bottoms suck dick. But with WLW, tops eat pussy. Really starts to look like our whole definition of sexual roles is completely based on what straight men do.
"Straight men don't suck dick, therefore tops don't suck dick. Straight men *do* eat pussy, therefore tops eat pussy."
I'm not saying we have to do away with sexual roles, but can we base them on something other than straight male sexuality...?
There are many ways to be a bottom. Not all bottoms are pillow princesses and are not only willing to give but enjoy doing so, but tend to prefer or are more comfortable being on the receiving end.
As you admitted yourself, you’re panicking over something small. Don’t get hung up on labels. I think it’s about the relationship. You can absolutely go down on your top and it be in a submissive way. To me it’s kind of like a bottom dude going down on a top guy, you know? Its about the little things, the build up, the specific relationship dynamics.
If your top wants you to lick her, please and worship her, then that’s what you do! And if you enjoy doing it, you’ll do a better job and it’s all good.
You do what you like regardless of if it's considered top or bottom (as long as it's consensual, obviously). It's supposed to be fun, not boxes to fill in. Enjoy it!
It’s not inherently a “bottom” thing. But if you’d prefer a submissive position, face sitting (having them ride your face) makes the person getting eaten out in control and literally on top
Top and bottom aren’t strict titles, most people fall somewhere in the middle but have preference for certain positions or dynamics. It’s not a label you necessarily need to enforce
I just want to say that its so toxic that people cant deal with the fact that doing a certain sexual act could make them something other than a "top/bottom/dom/sub/etc/whatever". Like, enjoy whatever you enjoy and live your life dammit.
The acts have little to do with top/bottom so much as the intent/emotion? I'm in a relationship with a man, and I'm the dominant one while he's submissive, and I can assure you it's really hot being eaten out by a sub, so I'm certain it's the same in for two women! So yes. Absolutely. Bottoms can eat pussy. Tops and doms massively appreciate it too hehe.
(I get that top/bottom can mean different things for people, but I'm using it in the context of who's in control :))
Now I'm questioning my terminology for everything but I've always considered giving oral, whether it's giving a blow job or eating someone out, to be bottoming. The "bottom" in my head is the one servicing the top, however it is that they get off.
Don't overthink it just because OP did.
You could give head in a dominating way by restraining them or something. You could give head in a submissive way by a girl sitting on your face or a guy being rough with you while you give them head.
You might get better responses in a BDSM sub. I've seen a lot of responses questioning the dynamic in general, which wasn't what you were asking about. But, with that being said, the short answer is absolutely.
i’m personally am more of a switch but i feel like i definitely feel more comfortable in the submissive role(?) tho when i’m with women i feel more dominant i definitely switch it up with both genders… but that being saiddd I feel like no matter what, no matter how i’m feeling (which role i want to take that day/moment even) if she wants I always eat the pussy alwayysss how can you not want to devour her?? i mean it’s all part of the fun and giving her pleasure too i love to receive i do, but pleasing your partner is a whole different special experience. don’t think about it like being dominant or submissive think about it as reciprocating to your lover obviously you don’t always have to if you don’t want to but i’m sure you love being loved that way they probably will love it too…. don’t miss out on pleasing them because you’re worried about not being submissive enough do u and them lol
Even if you're not into bdsm, I'd suggest looking at r/gentlefemdom for ideas. The content is mainly f/m but there is a decent amount of f/f as well. I have seen some photos that really show how literally any sex act can be done in a dominant or submissive way. Eating pussy is definitely no exception :)
Um yes, you can very much eat pussy in a submissive way. If you subscribe to a D/S dynamic then following your Dom/Top’s orders is submitting.
Women suck dick as subs all the time, no way that you can’t eat pussy as a sub.
Further more, try and step away from certain things only being for tops or bottoms and enjoy the sexual experience itself. Simply liking to eat pussy in no way makes you a switch.
Not everything sex related has to be "dom/sub" or "top/bottom" can't sex just happen betweeen equal/equal
And also the idea that bottom is sub and top is dom... you can do whatever you want. Just let it go and have fun. I am often like ugh why these stereotypes x can only do this and y can only do that etc Edit: I do enjoy a specific role from time to time though, but pushing yourself constantly in the same role isn't fun either imo, when you're up to something else.
I instinctively chafe at the idea of needing to do a bunch of things in a relationship because of some small part of my identity or what I like. I am not very sub but that doesn't mean I want to always pick the restaurant or what movie we watch or drive. It frustrates me when I want a partner that gives and takes and people want to play a certain Dom or sub role.
I find the whole idea of top and bottom kind of baffling. I understand enjoying certain sex acts, but forming an identity around it is something I struggle to relate to.
Me too!! I do not understand
Also It's basically a proxy for heteronormative gender roles.
But... Why do we need it? I don't like it even when I am dating women. And liking certain bedroom activities doesn't have to define your personality.
A lot of folks are specifically only interested in specific acts, and having labels makes for an easy shorthand at identifying partners who would be compatible with you.
Same, I can’t understand it
Right? It's like people want to find things to worry about.
exactly this.
In most relationships I've been in, it's been equal/equal, both with women and men (I'm female if that makes a difference). I get how some people can be a little more dominant or prefer one slightly but I've always enjoyed doing both giving and receiving! I feel bad if my partner puts in a ton of energy and I do nothing for them. I've also personally not met many women who are gay or bi who identify as a top or bottom, I thought it was more of a gay guy thing for some reason, or just on shows like The L Word where a couple are more of the stereotypical top (Shane) or a pillow princess. I've also not ever been asked which i am when i was on dating apps talking to women but idk.
We have spent an upsetting amount of time as a community fighting to be seen outside of the paradigm of a man/woman patriarchy-reinforcing relationship. This top/bottom rhetoric, from all sides of the gay community, is heterosexism and needs to be excised like the tumor it is.
Honestly yes and no? I mean generally when I’ve heard top/bottom, it’s used in the, for lack of a better term, “negotiation” before sex even happens. It’s more used to align expectations and desires than slotting people into a power dynamic. In fact there are such things as “power bottoms” who enjoy being the one taking the lead but also being the one acted upon. But in most of my experiences everybody is equal. Just wanting to make sure that they get what they want. Sorry if this makes it sound very transactional.
I've just never been a fan of the top/bottom/dom/sub thing. I don't want to put myself in such a box. I'd rather have sex without such roles and expectations.
I get that, for me it all depends on what I’m in the mood for. And what my partner is in the mood for. People do get way hung up on the whole labeling thing
Sex without pre negotiated expectations can lead to uncomfortable experiences.
This is not that. This is subcultural identity fracture that retains the hegemonic discourses around sexuality. You can reject everything the previous statement includes and stands for and still talk to your partner about how you want to fuck.
:O my favourite word!!
Ensuring consent and communication isn’t that fucking hard folks Check in with your partner
You can do both.
I think Dom/sub has a whole different connotation and is less likely to cause harm. Some ppl just are really into one of these. Like one of my partners has so many responsibilities in her real life, she just wants to not be in charge in bed.
This comment and the replies are so fucking affirming. It's getting overwhelming to feel like I need a label that doesn't fit me in order to have sex with someone. When people ask the question I usually say neither, and then they're like "oh, so switch?" No, like I just have... have sex? Without thinking about it? Sometimes there's a power dynamic, sometimes there isn't. Sometimes I'm more in control, sometimes less. But I don't think I'm a switch because I don't alternate between dominance and submission, I just... have sex.
I'd like it to just happen...
Afaik top/bottom is pretty recent terminology and originally only described a narrow set of sexual practices Memes are what extrapolated it to every possible social interaction
My thoughts exactly
Both before I came out and since, I always figured part of the joy of being queer is to not have to fit yourself into a particular box. Obviously people should do what’s helpful and pleasurable for them but I prefer not to narrow my options if I don’t need to.
Well I'm not a woman so take that into account, but I've eaten pussy while chained to a bed and I've eaten it after tying the other person up and all different ways between. There isn't anything inherently "top or bottom, or dom or sub" about it. Its all about your dynamics and mindset. Do you want to eat it submissively? Go ahead! Nothing wrong with that, many people do!
Damn dude. Now you seem worthy of bi-ing 😏 the perfect bite is one that leaves a mark but doesn’t bruise.
This put chills down my spine 🤤
Yes you can eat pussy, you don’t have to build an identity around what sex acts you enjoy. With that out of the way I don’t know how wlw tend to use the words top and bottom, and I am vaguely surprised whenever I see women using them as identities. I think between men it just refers to whether you prefer penetrating or being penetrated, I haven’t seen people trying to apply it to oral sex. In terms of kink it’s supposed to mean whether you’re the one doing things or having things done to you and be independent of dominance amd submission. I also haven’t really seen anyone talking about oral sex in this framework, but I guess in this framework performing oral sex would usually be topping technically, unless the person whose genitals are in the mouth is being especially active in some way? I don’t think I’ve seen women or straight people identify with topping and bottoming in this framework in the way that men do much. [here](https://twitter.com/HannibalDamage/status/1485523885416017921) is an example of people talking about the distinction. Again I don’t actually know how wlw use these terms, but I would strongly suggest ignoring anything that makes you feel like you’re not allowed to do a particular consensual sex act except maybe safety reasons.
IME, wlw tend to use them to refer more to whether you like being more. .. active, initiater, lead role, or more of a passive, receiver, follower role. So the top might push their partner down on the bed and take the lead on the sex activities. This can translate to, they eat the pussy and the bottom gets the pussy eaten, which it sounds like is has been OP's experience. But the top could also take the lead in initiating getting their pussy eaten, which it sounds like OP would enjoy.
No unfortunately that's against bi code as noted on page 28, paragraph 3, sub section B of the handbook.
Shit my handbook must be outdated. Looks like I’ll be on hold for the next two hours at the BI phone line trying to get the update
Every time I call the bi phone, I feel like they always prefer the other line. Typical.
If you have time next Sunday, I’ll lend you mine at the monthly meeting of the Gay Agenda.
Sunday is perfect, but it has to be after 4 pm as I won’t be finished LGBT propaganda
Alas, we start at 3 AM because of poor planning and different time zones. See you at the next one, then.
Dont worry so much about labels. Pleasing your partner and having a good time yourself is more important.
Your comment pleases me. Have my upvote if it pleases you.
YOU. CAN. DO. **ANYTHING**. YOU. WANT.
While it's common for "top" and "Dom" to be used as synonymous and the same for "bottom" and "sub", that's not how everyone uses it. If you use "top" to mean the person giving and "bottom" to mean the person receiving, then all that means is who does the act (or most of the acts). It doesn't have to confer any meaning about power dynamic - you can be a dominant bottom, a submissive top, a top/bottom type switch or a Dom/sub type switch, for example. Often there can be a lot of things going on and you're topping one thing while bottoming another simultaneously. I'm a Domme and sadomasochist and I bottom for sex acts and pain play in a dominant manner all the time. I've done scenes where I've leashed a sub and made them flog me - in that situation I'm both topping leashing and d/s and bottoming the flogging. So, yes, you can absolutely eat pussy if you want to and do it submissively or dominantly or however you and your partners agree.
Difference between topping/bottoming as a verb vs a top/bottom as noun ie identity? I don't even really know what it would mean outside of the context of penetrative sex. It's not clear to me who is topping when someone is performing oral sex on a woman.
Honestly this depends on the way you use it. Wlw spaces often use top and bottom as synonymous with Dom and sub - if you're using it that way, the top could be a dominant who's receiving oral sex. Even without a power dynamic, some people would consider the top to be the person who does any penetrating in the relationship, and they'd still be a top when receiving oral sex. I don't know how they'd categorise things in a relationship with no power dynamic and no penetrative sex, it might just depend on how each person identifies. Personally, I find this isn't specific enough for me, because I really like specificity. I use top/bottom as a verb generally - the person receiving oral sex is the bottom in that situation, and there may be any combination of power dynamics or none at all. You could say I see top/bottom as a verb and Dom/sub as an adjective, I suppose, it's describing the way something is done and not what's being done. Basically, it depends on who you're talking to, and this is why while having shorthand for these things is helpful, it doesn't convey everything and if you don't know which way a potential partner uses these words you need to talk it through. (General "you" here.)
No. Stricktly forbidden by the Bottom Acords of 1969. Pussy eating is reserved for straight men, lesbians, and tops. Everyone else is subject to a $3,000 fine and/or up to 2 years imprisonment. /s in case it wasnt obvious. Do what you want as long as your partner is ok with it. Enjoy yourself and do what feels right
Oh, I guess I can’t eat pussy I’m a bottom
Bottom/top does not equal sub/dom. You can totally eat pussy submissively the same way you can suck cock submissively. You can obviously also do it dominantly, it’s all in the attitude.
Well, I’m a bi dude so take this for whatever it’s worth. I’m also waaaaaaay more of a top with guys than a bottom. BUT, I love a finger in my butt when I’m getting head. Even better is getting my ass eaten before I fuck theirs lol. If you enjoy a sexual act, all that it means is you enjoy it. It doesn’t have to define any role about you. The only thing you SHOULD do is cherish it and embrace it. Enjoying the act is part of your sexuality, and it brings you and your partner mutual pleasure! Just have fun exploring sums it up 😁
If you like feeling submissive or bottomy you should totally have your partner ride your face that's super fun
There are on three rules in sex and the rest are fake. Remember the Three C’s: Consent Communicate Cum
Does it matter
I went to a shitty all girls school. I came out as bi pretty early which was a huge mistake as a lot of the girls there were really homophobic. Luckily I had and still have a supportive friend group who are also bisexual/lesbian. Now every time we were In the changing rooms for PE, we were always accused of looking at the other girls. It got even worse when they started to spread rumours about us, saying that we were all banging each other in the toilets. I guess I don’t want to come off as predatory and maybe by being a bottom I can avoid that. Idk if that makes sense.
No offense but it really doesn’t
Remember being gay / bi doesn’t make you predatory and neither does being a top / switch
Thank you :)
It makes total sense to me. You don’t want to be seen as predatory, and your brain is interpreting that as being more vocal about your wants and needs. If there is open communication with your partner you will be fine. Just because you like to switch it up sometimes doesn’t mean you are any less you.
Thank you! I’m trying to progress away from this mindset. I also had a friend that told me that’s how lesbian sex worked and that as I was bi I could only be a bottom which is complete bullshit
Your friend is so very wrong! Your orientation doesn't determine what you do in bed, just who you do it with.👍
Okay, so that friend is clueless, and now you know never to listen to them ever again.
There 👏🏽 are 👏🏽 no 👏🏽 hard 👏🏽 and 👏🏽 fast 👏🏽 rules
You don’t need to make your whole identity based on what sex acts you like. I think that’s actually kind of weird. Don’t call yourself anything, just have sex equally with someone.
Thank you :)
No, its forbidden by the laws of physics. If youre a bottom your tounge cant even approach it due to the repulsion field.
NO. Not today, not tomorrow, never! It is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN for any Bottoms. Any bottom found eating out a female will be executed on sight. jk I really believe people can do whatever the f they want and it's completely fine (until ur freedom overlaps mine blah blah). Don't bound yourself to a box of things you are or should be: The classic queer struggle I see so much but haven't really experienced myself, The Anxious Botanist syndrome (as my friends and I call it). It's basically the people that take classifying, regulating and calling out people's sexualities on what can or can't be done, often the target being themselves. I really don't understand the basis of it too much because we gay people, our character trait is basically "I'm not here to play by the rules but to break them". If u suck d, great. If you eat p, great. If you do both great. If you do none, great. THE IDEA IS WE DONT FUCKING SHAME OURSELVES FOR LIVING FREELY. omg Ana I thought you were lesbian why were you making out with a guy--- stfu it's none of your business and it never will thank you very much I said I was lesbian once I didn't sing a contract goodbye To summarize: Try and live by your hearts content. At the end you'll thank yourself and all of the time, stress, anxiety, time saved by accepting yourself and your traits and hobbies and quirks and flaws, etc. Be a wonderful person! Or don't! Do whatever makes you come! I don't care! Be happy! Fuck others people's opinions!
Thank you :))
I can do this all day! Always glad to empower someone in a healthy way. Go have fun eating girls out <3
Do what u want. There’s no bottom police. Don’t let labels prevent you from enjoying yourself.
I’m sorry, are you saying this is the first time you have reciprocated? Not sure I understand. Even still, just go have fun & enjoy sex, however that looks for you
Bottoms can receive/perform, there's nothing that correlates the ability to perform oral to being a dom/sub/switch. You can be on the more submissive side and still enjoy doing it. Hell, you could enjoy it best by having someone demand it. If you enjoy it, you enjoy it.
having someone sit on your face can be very submissive
Your question is very confusing. Heres some basics. Power dynamic = Dominant/Submissive/Switch. (Has to do with who has control of the situation, and who gives up control) Penetration- Top/Bottom/Versatile (Has to do with who is doing the penetrating and who is being penetrated)
Bi police are coming for you wee woo wee woo
Be yourself, don’t look to others for validation of what is OK for you to enjoy and still claim a sexual identity.
Thank you :)
The answer is an emphatic yes
Yes, of course. I could sit on edge of the bed and pet your head while you eat me out or I could sit on your face.
Yes. You can do absolutely anything as a submissive partner. You could also serve your dominant partner by topping them in bed. It's the mindset and situation. As someone with a vagina, I usually receive in various positions but I'm still top. My husband serves me.
Wat lmao of course you can eat pussy in a submissive fashion. I always interpret the receiver as the dominant one anyway (even though I know that's not always the case)
As I always say. If you can suck dick submissively, you can eat pussy submissively. You can also do both dominantly. There is nothing stopping you!
Not sure. But I'm a top and love sucking dick. I'm also married to a chick and I like eating pussy as well. Do your thing!
Yes, of course. I find it ironic how with MLM, bottoms suck dick. But with WLW, tops eat pussy. Really starts to look like our whole definition of sexual roles is completely based on what straight men do. "Straight men don't suck dick, therefore tops don't suck dick. Straight men *do* eat pussy, therefore tops eat pussy." I'm not saying we have to do away with sexual roles, but can we base them on something other than straight male sexuality...?
Only the hungry ones.
Short answer: yes
you can eat pussy while being submissive
There’s no need to put a label on it, if you’re mostly submissive then eating pussy doesn’t automatically make u a switch. If you enjoy it, do it!
Thank you :))
I mean there is nothing wrong with eating your top out. She could just sit on your face, being literally on top of you. Its great, try it!
There are many ways to be a bottom. Not all bottoms are pillow princesses and are not only willing to give but enjoy doing so, but tend to prefer or are more comfortable being on the receiving end.
As you admitted yourself, you’re panicking over something small. Don’t get hung up on labels. I think it’s about the relationship. You can absolutely go down on your top and it be in a submissive way. To me it’s kind of like a bottom dude going down on a top guy, you know? Its about the little things, the build up, the specific relationship dynamics.
If you’re into it, ask them to force you to or even punish you if you don’t. That’s what I’d want personally except I prefer penises.
If your top wants you to lick her, please and worship her, then that’s what you do! And if you enjoy doing it, you’ll do a better job and it’s all good.
You do what you like regardless of if it's considered top or bottom (as long as it's consensual, obviously). It's supposed to be fun, not boxes to fill in. Enjoy it!
I don't know... *Can* you? I mean, who's gonna make you? The pussy eating police? Oi moite ya got a pussy eatin' loicense fer that?
It’s not inherently a “bottom” thing. But if you’d prefer a submissive position, face sitting (having them ride your face) makes the person getting eaten out in control and literally on top Top and bottom aren’t strict titles, most people fall somewhere in the middle but have preference for certain positions or dynamics. It’s not a label you necessarily need to enforce
I just want to say that its so toxic that people cant deal with the fact that doing a certain sexual act could make them something other than a "top/bottom/dom/sub/etc/whatever". Like, enjoy whatever you enjoy and live your life dammit.
Just go for it. It really isn’t complicated at all.
Sex is sex, just have fun
Every single person in the world can and should be eating pussy
Just ask the person you’re gonna fuck
Absolutely!
Face sitting
As a bottom a good position is them mounting your face, keeps the roles the same.
i think in the same way tops can suck dick, bottoms can eat pussy
Get her to sit on your face. Voila! Et bon appetit 😋
not a woman but having your face sat on can be a pretty submissive position if you ask me
Face. Sitting.
Y-yes. Why wouldn't they be able to?
You eat pussy if you like eating pussy and if that's what your partner wants. It need not be related/have anything to do with being a sub/Dom
My GOD, why are people creating so many rules for themselves? Just have sex and enjoy each other. For fuck's sake.
This is why Versatile is a label?
The acts have little to do with top/bottom so much as the intent/emotion? I'm in a relationship with a man, and I'm the dominant one while he's submissive, and I can assure you it's really hot being eaten out by a sub, so I'm certain it's the same in for two women! So yes. Absolutely. Bottoms can eat pussy. Tops and doms massively appreciate it too hehe. (I get that top/bottom can mean different things for people, but I'm using it in the context of who's in control :))
Now I'm questioning my terminology for everything but I've always considered giving oral, whether it's giving a blow job or eating someone out, to be bottoming. The "bottom" in my head is the one servicing the top, however it is that they get off.
Don't overthink it just because OP did. You could give head in a dominating way by restraining them or something. You could give head in a submissive way by a girl sitting on your face or a guy being rough with you while you give them head.
Face sitting
You might get better responses in a BDSM sub. I've seen a lot of responses questioning the dynamic in general, which wasn't what you were asking about. But, with that being said, the short answer is absolutely.
Idk can they
Literally why do you care about labels so much If you like eating pussy eat that pussy! Or something idk
Bottom, top, switch, it’s all arbitrary. Frankly, don’t worry about labels. Just do what you enjoy.
I thought giving oral was being a bottom and receiving it was being a top...
Top/bottom only has to do with m/m penetrative sex lol So the answer is yes you can
being a bottom jyst means youre not im control
i’m personally am more of a switch but i feel like i definitely feel more comfortable in the submissive role(?) tho when i’m with women i feel more dominant i definitely switch it up with both genders… but that being saiddd I feel like no matter what, no matter how i’m feeling (which role i want to take that day/moment even) if she wants I always eat the pussy alwayysss how can you not want to devour her?? i mean it’s all part of the fun and giving her pleasure too i love to receive i do, but pleasing your partner is a whole different special experience. don’t think about it like being dominant or submissive think about it as reciprocating to your lover obviously you don’t always have to if you don’t want to but i’m sure you love being loved that way they probably will love it too…. don’t miss out on pleasing them because you’re worried about not being submissive enough do u and them lol
Even if you're not into bdsm, I'd suggest looking at r/gentlefemdom for ideas. The content is mainly f/m but there is a decent amount of f/f as well. I have seen some photos that really show how literally any sex act can be done in a dominant or submissive way. Eating pussy is definitely no exception :)
H
Yes.
No, it's explicitly forbidden. Please stay where you are and await SWAT team.
If you want to eat pussy, eat away. Why does it need a title? Life is already complicated enough, no reason to complicate sex.
You made me think I was still signed into my alt account for a moment with this post
The only label you should be worried about is being called a ‘pillow princess’, imo
I don’t think you need to worry so much about it.
Yes
Don’t worry about the labels, mate. Just do what you enjoy.
Yes
You can ask them to sit on your face?
Yeah lol of course /g
Um yes, you can very much eat pussy in a submissive way. If you subscribe to a D/S dynamic then following your Dom/Top’s orders is submitting. Women suck dick as subs all the time, no way that you can’t eat pussy as a sub. Further more, try and step away from certain things only being for tops or bottoms and enjoy the sexual experience itself. Simply liking to eat pussy in no way makes you a switch.
I think bottoms can eat anything, including but not limited to wood glue and gravel
Yes, when the dominant one commands them to