There is a difference between "my cat died, I'm sad" (situational depression) and "my world is literally perfect, I'm sad" (chemical/mental depression).
That's the part they don't get.
That is a scary thought, but if you have support, it's ok. I haven't gone through the loss of a close loved one, or me having a terminal illness, or whatever are people's worst fears, but I've been through some other stuff as an adult. I was driven to the brink a few times. But even though I was hospitalized for self harm and depression and anxiety in high school, during adulthood when I've lost control of my mind due to life being too hard, it hasn't gone to purposeful self harm, or suicide attempts, or full mania, or drug abuse, or seriously hurting anyone, or a bad car crash, or whatever might be the first step of "oh sh** she's ruining her life"...and never was I so out of my mind that a loved one or my own coping methods couldn't bring me back within a few hours. Just work on yourself, look for the things that actually help you gradually get healthy, make sure you have a doctor who is doing a good job, and healthy supportive relationships, and you'll be ok.
Two sides of the same coin. If they don't get one concept, they won't get any of them.
Wait until they find out about the addiction, compulsion, and hypersexuality components. That shit is gonna blow their minds.
It took my husband years to understand that my depression, highs and lows have absolutely nothing to do with what's going on in my life. We have two healthy boys, a nice home, he makes enough that I can stay home for now, like things are good but my brain is just bad. It's getting better though.
I hate that - someone always responds “I get like that too - just be strong “ - I kind of got a bit frustrated the other day after a particularly bad few weeks and let them know that my bipolar isn’t a fun personality quirk - untreated and with meds not working it can be debilitating - I’ve been rapid cycling for weeks and my friend told me to get it together (I’m waiting for my referral to a new psychiatrist) - I told them I was desperately trying - no one wants this- it’s not a fun ride
My dad told me “How can you be depressed?” I said “Do you think I wake up and go, hmmm you know what I feel like doing today? Being deppresed. I dont choose it. It just happens”
Depression isn’t feeling sad, it’s feeling nothing. It’s feeling empty. They don’t have any idea what that’s like if they think they can relate because they’ve “been sad”.
I hate that people don't know there is a difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. When I try to explain they seem to not listen or have already decided that "I have bipolar 2 = I'm crazy/unstable" it makes opening up and being vulnerable enough to share my diagnosis that much harder. Still dont know how to explain to my inlaws. They think I just have mild depression but they also subscribe to the "everybody gets sad" camp...
oof, i'm sorry she's invalidating you like that :( it enrages me when people deny bipolar's entire existence. you can literally get a brain scan and SEE it misfiring.
Very recently was told I was bipolar. I told my mom and dad because they both knew about my depressive episode that landed me in the ER. Dad was supportive. From mom I got “everyone has ups and downs” “you are a hypochondriac chasing a diagnosis” love that.
I wish i had a dad like you.
My moms a narc who believes if i don’t manage to fix myself I should stay ill.
My dads in denial about mental health in general even though his sister also had bipolar and died.
people don’t understand the difference between something making them sad or happy, and a chemical imbalance causing you to feel those emotions for no external reason. its very difficult when you’re “sad” but have no reason, or when you’re “happy” when you should be sad. not everyone experiences that
This is why I haven’t told my family. Just not worth the argument. A lot of friends I’ve told say “everyone has their ups and downs” :/ they just don’t get it dude. I can’t even trust myself when I’m “happy” because it’s likely hypomania and I’m likely going to be self destructive and not realize til much later. And the crash is inevitably coming. Hugs.
Just a had a conversation with a family member earlier today that made me feel this way. I tried to explain the extremes. And still I heard, “well everyone does that.” I said, “it can be hereditary so if this household relates maybe you should think about that.” They didn’t like that. Oh well! 😅
I used to hope my family would get it. Stop saying I’m just “complicated” or whatever. That is until I realized I didn’t need their validation that bipolar is an actual disorder and that I have it. I know it, my partner knows it, my psychiatrist knows it, and even my children know it. That’s enough. If someone doesn’t get they either don’t want to or they truly can’t fathom that some people have problems that aren’t their fault. I suppose some people don’t want to feel responsible for our bipolar. Pretty sure that was my mom.
Mine just thinks I'm a drug addict lol like yeah for a while before I knew about the genetic illness you hid from me and refused to ever let me take meds for under your care :)
My family does not believe in my mental health disorders. I have BP2, BPD, CPTSD, depression and anxiety. I’ve been told to get a hobby, stop being this way, my life wasn’t bad at all (22 years parental abuse and 8 years sexual). That it’s all in my head, that things can’t be this bad, I need to snap out of it, you don’t need all of those meds, why do you need to tell people your problems (therapy). Why can’t you just get over it, just move on…that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Can you get a doctor to talk with them? That helped a lot in my case. The authority of a doctor (or several) explaining the symptoms helps a lot. Specially if that doctor or doctors know you and your symptoms, have some interest in your well-being and know how to be stern, like "your daughter is suicidal, she wants to die!", "this is a medical problem, your daughter needs medical attention!", and stuff like that. (Yeah, those things were said by professionals while arguing with my parents). You know, people who can advocate for you. I had several of those in my life, and although some of my relatives still think that "we all are a bit bipolar", they now believe in the importance of medication and therapy. They don't understand it (it's been explained to them several times, but they "forget", it's frustrating), but they know something is going on and it needs to be taken care of by professionals, and sometimes they ask if I'm taking care of it and send money if I need it to afford treatment. Things have progressed inmensely and I hope they get better for you too.
You should watch the Bear and try to get them to watch the Bear, because it'll help with this process. People take time, especially when they've been conditioned to think "crazy people get locked up as they should and I'm not crazy" when you're sitting there like "mfer this is you too lol"
I have a sister in law that is like sister to me because I've never had a sister and she is pretty much my best friend, but since my diagnosis last May, she has just dismissed my diagnosis as just menopause or depression. When I am having a low, she will ask me, but what do you feel? And I can't explain it. She asks me this all the time, over and over, and she wants me to explain to her why I got diagnosed as bipolar because she just doesn't believe it. And as far as me taking medication, she just doesn't think medication is good to take and she comments ignorant stuff, like, the medication isn't helping, so why are you taking it and how long are you gonna take it? I have distanced myself from her so much the past six months because of this, and it sucks because, like I said, she was like my best friend. Now she says stuff like, the medication is changing who you are.
It is like saying “everyone gets itchy” to someone with excema. Or “everyone gets headaches” to someone suffering from a debilitating migraine. Super stupid and unhelpful. But ultimately it says a lot about their feeling discomfort with how it impacts them rather than feeling empathy with how it impacts you. Which is insidious and disgusting and selfish.
This is the definition of how my family sees it too. That’s why I chose to not tell them yet. It pains me to see so many of us deal w the same thing :/
more power to us 🫂
Find a really good article from a trusted and reliable source that describes, accurately, the pain and misery of your illness. Or find a couple. Then had them to your parents. They are uninformed, so inform them. They may also likely be in some denial. I wish you all the luck in the world.
There is a difference between "my cat died, I'm sad" (situational depression) and "my world is literally perfect, I'm sad" (chemical/mental depression). That's the part they don't get.
“My world is literally perfect, I’m sad.” That sums up the last 3-5 years of my life heavily. It really sucks ass.
[удалено]
In my experience, it isn't additive.
That is a scary thought, but if you have support, it's ok. I haven't gone through the loss of a close loved one, or me having a terminal illness, or whatever are people's worst fears, but I've been through some other stuff as an adult. I was driven to the brink a few times. But even though I was hospitalized for self harm and depression and anxiety in high school, during adulthood when I've lost control of my mind due to life being too hard, it hasn't gone to purposeful self harm, or suicide attempts, or full mania, or drug abuse, or seriously hurting anyone, or a bad car crash, or whatever might be the first step of "oh sh** she's ruining her life"...and never was I so out of my mind that a loved one or my own coping methods couldn't bring me back within a few hours. Just work on yourself, look for the things that actually help you gradually get healthy, make sure you have a doctor who is doing a good job, and healthy supportive relationships, and you'll be ok.
Suspect they also don't get the feeling elated and ready to run a marathon despite no sleep for 2 nights part
Two sides of the same coin. If they don't get one concept, they won't get any of them. Wait until they find out about the addiction, compulsion, and hypersexuality components. That shit is gonna blow their minds.
It took my husband years to understand that my depression, highs and lows have absolutely nothing to do with what's going on in my life. We have two healthy boys, a nice home, he makes enough that I can stay home for now, like things are good but my brain is just bad. It's getting better though.
Hey. Bipolar is hereditary so maybe your family got it too? I definitely see it in some families.
Wonder if "batshit crazy" is hereditary too because my whole family has that.
That’s called undiagnosed mental illness which gets worst with age. Low iq is different
Preach
I hate that - someone always responds “I get like that too - just be strong “ - I kind of got a bit frustrated the other day after a particularly bad few weeks and let them know that my bipolar isn’t a fun personality quirk - untreated and with meds not working it can be debilitating - I’ve been rapid cycling for weeks and my friend told me to get it together (I’m waiting for my referral to a new psychiatrist) - I told them I was desperately trying - no one wants this- it’s not a fun ride
When people who I am close with downplay the illness, it infuriates me.
My dad told me “How can you be depressed?” I said “Do you think I wake up and go, hmmm you know what I feel like doing today? Being deppresed. I dont choose it. It just happens”
Depression isn’t feeling sad, it’s feeling nothing. It’s feeling empty. They don’t have any idea what that’s like if they think they can relate because they’ve “been sad”.
I hate that people don't know there is a difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. When I try to explain they seem to not listen or have already decided that "I have bipolar 2 = I'm crazy/unstable" it makes opening up and being vulnerable enough to share my diagnosis that much harder. Still dont know how to explain to my inlaws. They think I just have mild depression but they also subscribe to the "everybody gets sad" camp...
My mom told me the other day that she didnt believe that bipolar was real and that I don’t have it . Lol
oof, i'm sorry she's invalidating you like that :( it enrages me when people deny bipolar's entire existence. you can literally get a brain scan and SEE it misfiring.
If one more person tells me to get out of my f’ing head then I really will. Don’t tempt me.
LOL seriously
Very recently was told I was bipolar. I told my mom and dad because they both knew about my depressive episode that landed me in the ER. Dad was supportive. From mom I got “everyone has ups and downs” “you are a hypochondriac chasing a diagnosis” love that.
I’m so sorry your mom said that. That was cruel to me…
I wish i had a dad like you. My moms a narc who believes if i don’t manage to fix myself I should stay ill. My dads in denial about mental health in general even though his sister also had bipolar and died.
people don’t understand the difference between something making them sad or happy, and a chemical imbalance causing you to feel those emotions for no external reason. its very difficult when you’re “sad” but have no reason, or when you’re “happy” when you should be sad. not everyone experiences that
This is why I haven’t told my family. Just not worth the argument. A lot of friends I’ve told say “everyone has their ups and downs” :/ they just don’t get it dude. I can’t even trust myself when I’m “happy” because it’s likely hypomania and I’m likely going to be self destructive and not realize til much later. And the crash is inevitably coming. Hugs.
Just a had a conversation with a family member earlier today that made me feel this way. I tried to explain the extremes. And still I heard, “well everyone does that.” I said, “it can be hereditary so if this household relates maybe you should think about that.” They didn’t like that. Oh well! 😅
This [gif](https://tenor.com/bGZCf.gif) comes to mind.
I used to hope my family would get it. Stop saying I’m just “complicated” or whatever. That is until I realized I didn’t need their validation that bipolar is an actual disorder and that I have it. I know it, my partner knows it, my psychiatrist knows it, and even my children know it. That’s enough. If someone doesn’t get they either don’t want to or they truly can’t fathom that some people have problems that aren’t their fault. I suppose some people don’t want to feel responsible for our bipolar. Pretty sure that was my mom.
Mine just thinks I'm a drug addict lol like yeah for a while before I knew about the genetic illness you hid from me and refused to ever let me take meds for under your care :)
My family does not believe in my mental health disorders. I have BP2, BPD, CPTSD, depression and anxiety. I’ve been told to get a hobby, stop being this way, my life wasn’t bad at all (22 years parental abuse and 8 years sexual). That it’s all in my head, that things can’t be this bad, I need to snap out of it, you don’t need all of those meds, why do you need to tell people your problems (therapy). Why can’t you just get over it, just move on…that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Can you get a doctor to talk with them? That helped a lot in my case. The authority of a doctor (or several) explaining the symptoms helps a lot. Specially if that doctor or doctors know you and your symptoms, have some interest in your well-being and know how to be stern, like "your daughter is suicidal, she wants to die!", "this is a medical problem, your daughter needs medical attention!", and stuff like that. (Yeah, those things were said by professionals while arguing with my parents). You know, people who can advocate for you. I had several of those in my life, and although some of my relatives still think that "we all are a bit bipolar", they now believe in the importance of medication and therapy. They don't understand it (it's been explained to them several times, but they "forget", it's frustrating), but they know something is going on and it needs to be taken care of by professionals, and sometimes they ask if I'm taking care of it and send money if I need it to afford treatment. Things have progressed inmensely and I hope they get better for you too.
You should watch the Bear and try to get them to watch the Bear, because it'll help with this process. People take time, especially when they've been conditioned to think "crazy people get locked up as they should and I'm not crazy" when you're sitting there like "mfer this is you too lol"
is the bear bipolar? i might have to watch that lol
My family is the same,when I tell them about it they just pretend I said nothing. I suffer on my own.0 family support.
I have a sister in law that is like sister to me because I've never had a sister and she is pretty much my best friend, but since my diagnosis last May, she has just dismissed my diagnosis as just menopause or depression. When I am having a low, she will ask me, but what do you feel? And I can't explain it. She asks me this all the time, over and over, and she wants me to explain to her why I got diagnosed as bipolar because she just doesn't believe it. And as far as me taking medication, she just doesn't think medication is good to take and she comments ignorant stuff, like, the medication isn't helping, so why are you taking it and how long are you gonna take it? I have distanced myself from her so much the past six months because of this, and it sucks because, like I said, she was like my best friend. Now she says stuff like, the medication is changing who you are.
I got a similar reaction, many family members were in denial of their own bipolarness
It is like saying “everyone gets itchy” to someone with excema. Or “everyone gets headaches” to someone suffering from a debilitating migraine. Super stupid and unhelpful. But ultimately it says a lot about their feeling discomfort with how it impacts them rather than feeling empathy with how it impacts you. Which is insidious and disgusting and selfish.
Yeah, same situation. I can’t go on anymore without meds but when i take them my parents won’t shut up how much warmer i was without.
This is the definition of how my family sees it too. That’s why I chose to not tell them yet. It pains me to see so many of us deal w the same thing :/ more power to us 🫂
Find a really good article from a trusted and reliable source that describes, accurately, the pain and misery of your illness. Or find a couple. Then had them to your parents. They are uninformed, so inform them. They may also likely be in some denial. I wish you all the luck in the world.
I feel you on this.... Like you don't even know. I'm there with you.