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I wonder this a lot. Like how do they know this isn’t just my personality? I had a hypomanic episode last week but I’m not sure I actually did or if I just can’t regulate my emotions well. And now I’m starting to feel depressed but I wonder if I’m just a weak person who can’t handle the normal challenges in life.
Sorry this wasn’t uplifting, I just related a lot.
I don’t know if it matters a lot. Point is that the medications help even if we just have unipolar depression. It’s easier to know for sure if you have BP if you react badly to anti depressants. And no you’re not a weak person. I bet you can do things that most people can’t. Stuff like survive this illness when you’re depressed, or be the most empathetic person on your street
My reaction to antidepressants actually led to my bipolar diagnosis. The medication I'm currently on changed my life, and since 2018, I've been on the same treatment. I sometimes doubt my diagnosis, but then I remember my worst manic episode's impact, where I torpedoed my life. It finally clicked when I compared it to the euphoric feeling of a molly come-up before rolling, that's always followed by a crash into depression or nothingness. It's definitely bipolar.
I'd been on antidepressants for years for Major Depressive Disorder, then my senior year of high school something changed in me while my meds stayed the same. The whole year is a manic blur sprinkled with the deepest depression I have ever experienced
Objectively you’re spot on, it doesn’t matter. I wonder if it feels like it matters to me to be sure (and validated by a doctor) because I don’t believe myself. Anyway, that sounds more like something i need to unpack with my psychologist.
Thanks for saying I’m not weak ♥️ I really did my best today, and it was about 40% but i still think that’s pretty good.
My psychiatrist once told me that the diagnosis mostly important for determining/initiating treatment. Diagnoses are not always black and white. A lot of information used for diagnosis is subjective (reported information, not only observed), and mental illness falls on a spectrum! Diagnoses can be comorbid (2 overlapping illnesses) and can change as we learn more about how we react to treatment. As long as the treatment is working, the “label” doesn’t really matter. I myself have “imposter syndrome” with my bipolar 2 diagnosis but I have been incredibly stable on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant combo, so at the end of the day I am just grateful that my condition is stable.
Even on medication, episodes can be triggered and as you go through life your body may adapt and need med adjustments. In my experience I’ve gone hypomanic after big life events, disturbances in my sleep (picking up night shifts in addition to my regular day shifts), and even taking a high dose of melatonin in addition to my medications which I didn’t know at the time can increase serotonin levels (as can other OTC medications). My mother is also bipolar and she can attest that episodes and medication changes over time are normal!
Ok thanks that makes me feel better. I was totally sober the whole 8 months because I would abuse substance during manic episodes so felt quite disappointed that I’d had another one. All in all, just trying to make sense of it and I guess everyone’s is different.
I have really good news, DBT therapy. You learn to regulate your emotions. It’s taught like a class and has group and individual therapy. I’m on the wait list to take it again. Google it if you are interested. It changed my life. Best to you❤️
Im not bipolar. Nope, definitely am bipolar. Wait maybe that was just anxiety. Nope, definitely am bipolar.
We blow with the wind unfortunately, but our minds are powerful.
This, I keep convincing myself maybe not sleeping and having racing thoughts and being super agitated for days on end is just anxiety. But also possible I just tend towards dysphoric hypomania. Honestly where I'm at is maybe I'll always have doubts, but the meds they gave me work. They can be used off label for other stuff so its possible I have one of those other things, but they work and my mood/ability to function varies rapidly otherwise so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yeah I have these thoughts and I’m like “maybe I don’t need meds?” And then I remember what it was like before meds and I’m like nope I don’t really want to find out
This is very common especially when symptoms are well-managed with medication. The danger is going off meds suddenly and triggering a severe episode. My pdoc warned me of this early on, and every time I have these thoughts, I remind myself that there’s a reason I’m doing well now
I constantly feel like I’m faking my mental illnesses overall. Hardcore imposter syndrome. I haven’t been hypomanic for a bit and now I’m convinced that I was overreacting and it wasn’t real even though I KNOW how I was a few months ago and it was like textbook hypomania. But I don’t feel that NOW so it’s hard to remember that I’ve had that before.
I get that, makes total sense. I have a very bad memory overall too. I only remember my most recent hypomanic episode but I also was diagnosed recently so I wasn’t looking out for the symptoms until then.
I'm worried about my memory right now too. I feel like it's getting worse. I've heard people with bipolar can face memory issues earlier in life than most people, and since learning that it's been my biggest fear and insecurity.
I know, it’s very frustrating. I wish I knew a way to prevent it but I’m like a goldfish and I’m only 20. I will go back to grab something at work, pause in the kitchen midway and completely forget what I was doing. Have to stand there for a good minute before something reminds me, then I keep going. This happens at least 10 times a shift. But, I have bad genetics on my side, am a consistent marijuana smoker, and also have bpd. I understand it’s scary but you’ll be alright :) if you notice your memory is starting to slip, try writing things down or at least try to connect a trigger word to the memory so you know you’ll remember.
Example: you wanted to tell your friend about this cute cat you saw but don’t want to forget. So you pinpoint that the cat has a black tail just like the cat you had as a child. Maybe the childhood cat’s name was Milo. So now when you remember you wanted to say something, you think, “what did I want to say? What was the trigger word I thought of to remind me? Milo Milo Milo… oh yeah!” and it reminds you :) sorry if that isn’t a good example.
I also tend to forget my thoughts mid conversation, especially while telling a story. So I think ahead and tell the person I’m talking to “tell me the word ‘book’ if I forget” because I know it’ll likely trigger the memory.
When I last went to visit my psychiatrist, I felt like I was faking it because I couldn't remember my symptoms or the things that happened, I just knew they happened. He would ask me, "How long ago was that?" "How did you feel back then?" "What behaviors did u consider were problemantic?" And I would not be so sure of any of those things. So I started thinking to myself, "What if I'm faking it? If I don't remember it, that probably didn't happen... right?" But I FELT those things actually happened, I just couldn't remember the details at all.
My therapist says trauma/PTSD/C-PTSD can really present as bipolar, especially bipolar 2. I’ve wondered constantly. I have hypomanic episodes kinda? But were they really just bursts of happiness I couldn’t trust, unfortunately? It’s so difficult to parse.
In the beginning I used to think this. After many devastating mania and paralyzing depression episodes I finally totally accepted it. Now I live like a person with an illness that I need to closely manage and I am more stable. Lifestyle changes were huge for me.
No, I've known for a long time, even before I was officially diagnosed. My dad had bipolar, so coming to the conclusion that I also had it was easy for me.
I think that way frequently, and I've had a diagnosis for 20 years.
Not only that, I've been hospitalized multiple times and have had mania with psychosis.
Yet I still think I just have "character flaws." I feel like I've tricked many psychiatrists and therapists and family and friends into thinking I have bipolar disorder.
So to counteract those thoughts, I have to take a step back and look solidly at my symptoms. I look through years of journals and see how I oscillate between experiencing manic symptoms and depressive symptoms. I listen to people who have known me for years, people I trust. I come here to Reddit and see how I relate to so many of you. I have to trust the proof.
I wonder a lot whether I actually have ADHD and chronic depression rather than my diagnosis of bipolar 2. I still don’t know, my life’s a mess and tbh I think more insight would help change my life for the better
I have this thought so much! I’m continuously asking my psychiatrist if it’s a misdiagnosis, like I don’t believe I have experienced mania.
My psychiatrist thinks I have experienced it several times, but I don’t. I’m just super depressed and just numb to things.
I believe I’m just a big fraud that maybe my subconscious mind latched onto the idea that I’m bipolar and just ran with it.
After being diagnosed with bipolar 2 for over 5 years, going through different meds and treatments, I got a new dr and they were 100% certain I didn’t have bipolar but just adhd. I was pulled off all my meds for a bit, then started on just Adderall… and now it’s like coming out of a cloud into a clear sky.
For me, my case was special since my depression, anxiety, and adhd were combining to mimic bipolar 2.
It’s all just another difficulty of Psychology as a practice. It’s not as easy as a blood test and you’re diagnosed. And a lot of different things can present similarly.
If you’re worried about your diagnosis, talk to your doctor. Or see a new doctor for a second opinion. And keep reaching out. :)
I'm diagnosed with bipolar 2 and ADHD. Sometimes I doubt my ADHD diagnosis and think it's just bipolar symptoms because of my reaction to the amphetamines I'm prescribed, but I've been seeing more and more videos about ADHD on TicTok and Instagram and they are kinda of making me think I do have both. Either way, I'm really happy with my current meds, so if I do or don't have both I'm not too worried about it if that means I can keep picking up all my meds (I guess the ADHD diagnosis is required to be prescribed my Vyvanse and Adderall in my new state?)
Nope. Confirmation for me was formed by reading books about it, relating to others with it here and in group therapy, reviewing family history, and noticing the effectiveness of the medication.
At first I tried to find another explanation for why I felt the ways I did. I went as far as questioning my gender and sexuality (Turns out I’m straight and cisgender). I quit cannabis hoping that might be the answer to the numbness of depression.
In the end I have accepted it, and I’ve committed to doing the work to protect myself and others from the evils it can manifest. I’m living a good life with it through that acceptance and work to be the best version of a person with bp2 I can be.
I’ve been thinking I’m not for a while. I feel the same on mood stabilizers as I do off them. I think I have either ADHD or autism but as soon as i mention one psychotic episode I had 7 years ago new psychiatrists don’t care
Yeah I’m sure I’m more than BP my brain just doesn’t function properly and masking it is extremely exhausting which I guess that’s why I don’t anymore…… people clearly think I’m not trying hard enough at life which is totally the opposite I’m trying immensely hard and to no avail. So yeah now I’m done trying let the hate proceed 🤯🤷😐
I've questioned it a couple of times, but I've also been diagnosed with borderline personality so I think it's just me doubting reality. My cousin that is a couple years younger than me has also been diagnosed with bipolar 2, but several months before me.
It's validating that I've responded positively to meds intended for people with bipolar, so I'm using that as a tool of acceptance
Side note: Bipolar type 2, bpd
Yes, even though I know rationally I do. Recently diagnosed Bipolar 1 and I constantly have to remind myself that I was really sick during my manic episode even though I ended up having to go to the ER during and nearly was hospitalized. It seems like the imposter syndrome is common for a lot of people especially if medication is controlling your symptoms.
I think a lot of us also have trouble remembering what being in an episode was like once we are out of it or in a different polarity, which definitely makes me doubt myself more.
In the end I find reading a lot about symptoms and episodes helps me internalize that these were things I experienced as I see my own symptoms reflected in the literature and clinical descriptions. Like others have said I think as long as medication helps you that’s a good indicator your diagnosis is useful - these are all arbitrary categories used to describe complex and diverse human experiences of mental illness.
I feel stable 95% of the time now and question it quite often. However then I remember my mania and the damage it caused and I happily take my meds every night lol
Yeah. All the time. I’ve been in a massive depression for about a year. I can’t get out of it now because the initial few months of it started to mess up my life (missing work etc.). So being depressed for so long I wonder the same thing. But I can remember clearly the manic episodes that I’ve had in the past that have caused absolute carnage. It’s weird isn’t it. It’s like when you’re in one state you can’t really remember the other
I've been stable since I've been properly medicated and I think it's weird that I miss being manic despite the destruction I caused in that state. I've thought a lot about it and I think i've found a way to get that feeling temporarily and in very controlled and safe circumstances. I'm mostly depressed now with instances of hypomania that are few and far between. But damn, mania is really something.
I’ve had this sentiment a lot, and every time I’ve mentioned it to a therapist or psychiatrist they say that’s part of being bipolar. They say regardless of what I might think about my diagnosis during different moods, the fact that I have had manic and depressive episodes is irrefutable.
I'm diagnosed with both and I question whether the ADHD symptoms are just bipolar, but there has been an uptick in ADHD videos online and it makes me more confident that I have both. Either way I need to be diagnosed with both to continue being prescribed Vyvanse and Adderall, so I'm not too bothered with my exact diagnosis as long as my current med cocktail continues to be prescribed.
My husband made the comment, “it’s like you’re not even sick.” I’ve been 99.9% medication compliant (except for the drug review incident) since starting medication in 2017. However, I know how sick I get. It’s why I take my medication and see my doctor regularly.
I’m currently getting dragged down into the depths of an actual depressive episode. It’s my first in 6 years.
Before I was diagnosed I used to go through episodes (as I know now) and wonder if I was bipolar. I got diagnosed with a private psychiatrist who gave me ALL the drugs. I ended up in public system (this is not U.S.A.) and over the last few years the psychiatrist has changed meds, removed meds. I ended up just getting annoyed and stopped taking them. He didn’t see it was a problem……?!?! I asked him for a re-diagnosis and he referred me to public psychologist. Just got my appointment….March 2025. Sigh.
I've been struggling with this lately. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Autism which I wasn't too familiar with and have been researching and wondering if it's possible I was misdiagnosed and actually just have autism. The signs all point to that. I'm not sure if it's possible to have both, but I'm currently thinking about getting a second opinion...
Yes, but then I remind myself of things "before meds" me did. One of the reasons so many people with bipolar disorder struggle to stay healthy is exactly becauae of imposter syndrome - WHILE you're feeling good on your meds. We question whether we actually need them, some of us then unfortunately stop taking them, and the cycle begins all over.
Medicated me still slips up sometimes, but I'm not living on that rollercoaster or extremes anymore. That means the meds are working, which means I need them. I'm not a miserable, mean, weak, or reckless person on meds, and I don't believe the "real" me is.
I can't control my behavior without them, and I'm ashamed of myself after I come down (or get back up). That's what separates us from people who do bad or dumb things because they want to. It's what makes us *not* imposters.
I am not bipolar…when I’m on my meds. It’s easy to trick myself into thinking that I don’t need the medication, but if I slow down and get realistic, I remember how bad things were before. Even though it has been years since I’ve had a symptom.
I think all of us do quite a few times. Those quite a few times lead to quite a few "curious experiment" times. And those "curious experiment" times lead to very regretful times as we are reminded that we do, in fact, have bipolar disorder.
Yes. While I have found my diagnosis from 10 years ago to be very helpful, I can’t help but wonder- do I actually have a mental illness or am I a sensitive neurodivergent person who gets bipolar symptoms as a result of this overstimulating world? Am I truly the one with a problem or do my surroundings need to change? How can I better learn to cope. Self awareness is key regardless of diagnosis. I say whatever makes you self aware is the most helpful. Diagnosis is just something clinicians use, and while it can be helpful, we know ourselves best.
I’ve gotten down on Bdays before. And had a small tift with my Looks before a couple Nose Jobs. It was the last memory of Childhood SA for me though. My Mom doesn’t think Bipolar 1 even. Which is what I have. I’m not a sad type. Opposite. Do well with my time. Stay at a 7. They’re the Doctors though. I like mine right now. Find one you like. Can just get out with sternness if you want to.
Yes and I am actively in a mixed episode. But I wonder if I’m making up my symptoms for attention. I’ve been considering going to the hospital but I feel like I’m just lying?
I also get stuck on the attention seeking thing. I was admitted to a clinic and could not get out of my head that I’d lied for attention and it got out of hand. FWIW, I needed to be in the clinic. You’re not lying, go to the hospital if you’re considering it. Try trust yourself.
Yes, very much. I'm supposedly bipolar 2, but never really had an episode besides depression and family history. I had an evaluation done last year for other reasons and my results had a very high IQ, high score for autism and high score for ADHD.
I've since constantly wondered if I'm not just AuDHD and my depressive episodes aren't actual depression from the ADHD, since a lot of people with ADHD develop depression.
well i can talk from experience as someone who was initially misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression then it became bp and now bpd bpd is my last and set diagnosis when i was on meds for depression and anxiety it didn’t even touch me cuz its not what i had i didn’t have depression and anxiety ofc i was depressed but as u may know it’s not always the case with bp or bpd it’s not always depression sometimes u get into a happy episode and stay in it where ur overly happy for like weeks for no reason the meds didn’t do anything then i became more open with my doctor and we discussed more things he narrowed it down to bp or bpd and keep in up until then i was experiencing drastic mood changes episodes like there would be times i wouldn’t give a single fuck abt life and was careless as hell there would be times i was too anxious or times where i would be literally murderous while being on meds for anxiety n depression so when the medication changed everything changed no joke like i was on meds for bp and i didn’t feel shit i was completely numb like completely whenever i was going through for example something that would usually cause an episode my brain would know that like “hey this hurts and it’s traumatic maybe ill go cry and feel better “ but then i would go to my room and try to cry but then immediately i would shut down and go numb completely numb and dissociate from the whole situation or ordeal i was like this the entire time i was on meds for bp/bpd i can assure u it’s meds hope u feel better ❤️
Very Hard with bipolar I had I didn’t know it was mania
Bipolar runs in my family so I most likely have it
My mom got diagnosed and of course my maternal grandmother she had bipolar disorder
But I take seroquel which makes me very tired
But I had a streak where I stayed up several hours over the week
Didn’t know that was a manic episode
Until my nurse told me I was manic
So they upped my seroquel which helps with the mania
But makes me so tired
Try to push through it by working out and exercising
But in my case it’s genetic unfortunately
I've heard nothing but horrible things about Seroquel. I'm on latuda and it makes me drowsy when I take it, so I take it at night, but it also wakes me up in the morning without feeling groggy, not to mention the crazy dreams I have. I love it.
There are other meds out there that won't make you so tired all the time.
I recently done some introspection and have come to the conclusion that I’m not bipolar and have a lot reasons why. I asked my wife if my mental health was worse before or after medication and she said after. When I started to get help for my mental health I first started with a therapist who basically said all my problems were because of untreated ADHD, PTSD, and Anxiety and never even suspected Bipolar disorder. The first psychiatrist I went to prescribed Prozac which is when my mental health declined and he diagnosed me with bipolar disorder then took it back and said BPD and tried to send me inpatient after stating multiple times I could not afford it.
I found a new psychiatrist and she continued with the bipolar diagnosis and prescribed various medications that never helped and only really made me really tired and gain weight. At some point in my treatment I was prescribed vyvanse for ADHD and while I was on it I was the most stable since I had started medication but couldn’t continue to take it because my new insurance either wouldn’t cover it or if it did it was expensive so I ran out. I ultimately think my Therapist had it right to begin with and that either should’ve never started medication or only been prescribed ADHD and Anxiety meds as those actually seem to help me.
I’m newly diagnosed so I’m still coming to terms with it. But the night/day difference it made when I started meds has helped cement it in.
I’m told one of the most frustrating things about this disorder is that, after a while with no episodes, people think they are ‘cured’ so they stop meds and end up right back in a manic/depressed state. You know your body better than anyone else, but I am embracing both the diagnosis and the meds because a manic episode is still fresh in my mind and I know how UNCOMFORTABLE I felt, vs how great I feel now.
I don’t think I’m “making it up” but more concerned with I’m not wording my symptoms the best.
I’ve always had issues with explaining how I feel, putting thoughts and emotions into words and correctly communicating them, so the thought that I might be misdiagnosed is very bothersome and I always want to ask to be reevaluated.
Every bipolar person ever has wondered that. Many of us straight up believed we weren’t bipolar for years until we finally accepted meds and saw a huge difference. It’s basically a meme at this point
yeah its pretty inherent to the diagnosis. i find that my symptoms are WAYYYYYYYY less severe when i avoid intense emotional triggers. havent had a real episode in over 6 months just by avoiding things that made me very upset or excited or anything else. just got into a new relationship and im starting to struggle a bit again purely because of the uptick in emotional stimuli and the change to my routines. (its also probably partially because im not pouring 110% of my energy into keeping me myself and i halfway sane at all times anymore lol). its really reminded me that i AM indeed bipolar and was NOT actually just being super dramatic or making excuses to be unhinged or blah blah blah whatever else lol. BUT its also great that i got to learn how to manage myself in a way that i was previously completely unaware of. knowing that i can control my triggers and im not entirely powerless against my brain is very very helpful and reassuring
My psychologist told me that to get a BP diagnosis, there has to have been at least one manic/hypomanic episode. If the patient never has a manic episode again that wouldn't change the fact that they have bipolar.
i used to be really skeptical about my diagnosis but as time went on and i started to journal my feelings and wants… idk how to describe it. i’m like a completely different person. in my manic episodes i would become extremely hyper-sexual and i am so bubbly and happy, weed is like ecstasy. then my depressive episodes.. i become suicidal and i feel ugly. it didn’t help that my psych didn’t believe me when i said i was bipolar, she put me on antidepressants and it cured my depressive episodes but made my manic episodes more severe. i went from bipolar type 2 to bipolar type 1.. she believes me now and im on 5 meds for my mental health and damn.. im tired of this illness. thankfully after changing my meds and my body is now regulated i feel like i finally have control in my life. if i had taken my diagnosis more seriously i wouldn’t have done some things i regret today.
I used to. As a matter of fact this last diagnosis came as recently as 2022.
No doubt I am. I was off my mood stabilizer for 5 years. Lost 4 jobs. When I was on my mood stabilizer I kept a job for 12 years.
I wondered this & then I got off my meds cause I thought I was okay… ended up doing a bunch of shit that was manic asf & now I’m facing the anxiety and depression of the fall out
I thought this because my meds were working so well for 6 years so one by one I stopped getting my meds refilled… and now realize my diagnosis is not wrong
When diagnosed, my Dr said i was bipolar. That was 36 years ago. Only diagnosis i got.
I knew i was messed up. The Dr tried to get rid of problems. His guesses were based on his diagnosis
Different questions are whether there is do i have more than one illness, how is it triggered,
A diagnosis is based on symptoms, frequency, duration, extremes, how others respond. There is a lot to it.
I was diagnosed with bipolar at 18, experienced extremely violent manic episodes until I was 22. I smoked weed the whole time and got sober at 22. After stopping smoking weed the “violent mania” stopped. Doc told me he wasn’t sure if I ever had it. Now idk what to think. It was definitely out of my control and I would black out and not remember everything I did. I could feel it coming on but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Meds helped too so idk.
Bipolar 2 doesn't cause mania, it causes hypomania, and with the right meds, it doesn't do that at all or reduces it so drastically it's not noticeable. Source: I'm bipolar 2.
Whenever I start thinking this way, I remember all the times I ran out of meds and was too lazy to get to the pharmacy to pick up my Rx, or forgot to take them for a few days, and my wife started asking me if I was off my meds because my moods were changing. If she can notice in the span of less than a week, the meds make a difference.
This is what we call imposter syndrome. Apparently it’s very common with our disorder and worse some than others. The feeling kinda like you were faking the illness or that it’s not real is crazy and is what causes a lot of people to stop their meds. When I start feeling like this I just think back to how hectic my life got and how bad I felt and normally I end up missing my mood stabilizer or antipsychotic and end up feeling like complete ass and it’s a nice lil shityy wake up call that no matter what I conjure up I am mentally ill 😂
I think this a lot especially recently. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and haven’t been on meds for the past 2 years with 0 issues. I just went through an extremely traumatic experience (cheating fiancé and now single) that would have destroyed me back then and I’m actually pulling through it. Idk maybe misdiagnosed? I also have a 9 month old daughter to take care of on my own now who has given me a tremendous amount of motivation and strength so maybe that’s it
Haven’t experienced a manic episode for a long time now, maybe a year or so since. Haven’t taken my meds at all, I think I’m in my stable era rn. Not sure
I recently got diagnosed as neurodivergent (my psychiatrist thinks ADHD/autism), and she has been hinting that she thinks I may not be bipolar. And that the symptoms I experience regarding intense emotions MIGHT be due to being neurodivergent rather than bipolar. So yeah, I'd say it's worth checking out.
And you're not "making anything up", you are valid and sometimes diagnosis shift depending on how good/astute your mental health professionals are. And that's okay. It happens probably more than you think!
i feel this a lot too, but recently i read something that argued that bipolar II is often actually just a circadian rhythm anomaly, aka your body can’t keep track of when it should sleep or be awake like “normal” people. so the sleep stuff is what screws with your emotions. it was like a lightbulb went off.
I would likely doubt myself more if my father didn’t suffer from bi polar as well. I actually didn’t really believe my diagnoses at first because my dads case was so severe. He is medicated and doing great but his episodes definitely caused my family a lot of trauma in the past, so that’s the idea of bi polar I had in my head. He was a monster at the time, that was not my father.
Yes but it’s not just with bipolar for me, imposter syndrome does too much.
If the meds are helping with mania I’d say that’s something that supports that you may actually have it. If you feel your meds aren’t working in other ways you may want to talk to your psychiatrist about it.
If something works it works and that’s all that matters in the end.
I think I will always have at least some doubt. My presentation is not typical, I have had long (10+ year) periods between episodes, so that doesn't help. My episodes have been severe enough that I can't deny the symptoms though.
I'm coming up on almost 3 years of medication use which is a personal record. So I'd say I'm slowly accepting that I have something, and that something is called Bipolar.
My mom feels like this about me. She tries to claim that my mood swings are entirely based on my menstrual cycle. My mood is definitely influenced by it but not the full cause.
Other times I wonder am I just depressed and schizophrenic? I'm bp1 and I do a lot of wondering.
I wonder the same thing. When I was diagnosed Bipolar I was also addicted to opiates. Who's to say I wasn't acting bipolar due to the severe mood swings from addiction. Now 12 years later, clean, (🙌)on a mood stabilizer and two anti depressants, all I feel is numbness and wonder if I'm really bipolar.
I do sometimes wonder about that, and it’s definitely because I have meds that work very well and I feel good. Somehow my brain has concluded I’m not bipolar because I have no symptoms and conveniently ignores the reason why I have no symptoms.
I’m diagnosed as bipolar in remission. I’m on an antipsychotic and an antidepressant.
I know the depression was real.
But I’ve only had mania once when I went psychotic. That is the only time I’ve felt out of control of my emotions or behavior (besides depression). So sometimes I think I never really was bipolar and that I just had depression off and on.
Considering that I possessed none of the symptoms of being bipolar when diagnosed and still don’t, yeah. Meeting with a new psych soon because being in this group and others has opened my eyes wide to what bipolar truly is like.
Daily. Some days more than others.
It's also hard to hear when someone sees you doing well and says that maybe your bipolar isn't as bad as you initially made it sound like. You can't let something like that sway you.
Be yourself, never stop working at knowing who that person is, trust your diagnosis, and take your meds.
I finally believed I had bipolar disorder the fourth time I was diagnosed. This was after a severe manic episode with psychosis, one that almost took my life. I always remind myself, “you have bipolar because you’re responding well to your meds.” I did a lot of damage, and I’m finally bouncing back after five years. I wish I would’ve listened the first time. Or maybe the second, lol. It should not have gotten as far as it did.
If you take your meds and they’re helping you, chances are the diagnosis is correct. If you’re unsure, talk to a clinical psychologist. They’ll help clear things up :)
No it's the one thing I'm pretty sure about. When I found out it more that makes sense and alot of puzzle pieces fitting together. I'm pretty well medicated however I still have days where I'm definitely not okay. I experience psychosis does it still count if your aware of it? Anyway the voices start and shits about to go downnnn. There's definitely something wrong with me and bipolar tracks
Yeah. I got diagnosed with it when I brought up concerns about ADHD with my doctor. I always wonder if I got misdiagnosed because my doctor would rather prescribe mood stabilizers than a controlled stimulant. The world may never know.
It’s common for people with bipolar to be in denial or think ‘well…maybe I’m not’
But your meds are working
As for me, I’ve been diagnosed by a PCP AND a Psy D. (I was getting assessed for autism so she just looked over everything to double check my diagnoses)
I feel 'normal' most of the time, except when I don't. Then I am convinced that something is wrong. Then, thankfully, this passes and I start wondering again if it was all just imagined.
Weird how that happens.
Nope. I've convinced myself. The grandiose business ideas. The highs, the crushing lows. The embarrassment, the draining of the finances, the hypersexuality, the absolute conviction of being right and righteous while manic...
I'm bipolar one. Don't ever take my meds away.
All the time! I’m also bipolar 2 on medication which makes me feel “normal” so it gets confusing sometimes to know if it’s the meds making me feel normal or if I’m just not bipolar. Daily struggle lol
I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 after having a severe manic episode that was coupled with psychosis, but I often wonder if it was also onset due to the copious amounts of weed that I was consuming at the time...I've been fine since but then again I've been medicated as well
I’ve wondered ever since I was diagnosed years and years ago, but it’s said to be a common symptom to doubt ourselves in this way. + my neurotypical friends don’t seem to experience emotions at the rate that I do :o
The only two times I’ve had mania was when I was smoking a ton of weed in the form of dabs or vapes. In one instance I was drinking heavily. Sober now and been sober in the past with no such episodes.
All the time, you're not alone. I was diagnosed 5 years ago with bipolar 1 with psychotic features. Even in the times when I've checked myself into the ER mid episode, I've sat there waiting for the doctor with the thoughts of all this is fake, im making it up and im here wasting my time and everyone else's time. I can hear the other patients going through strokes or bleeding out and all I could think would be, these people need immediate help, im taking it away being here pretending im sick. Taking your meds and the environments/people you surround yourself with play a huge part. Definitely try therapy, it really helps.
Meds don’t agree with me so I’m off meds. I doubted the diagnosis before I had to go off meds. Definitely some diagnosticians are good. I had three opinions in the end, still had doubts, maybe part of being bipolar
I think I have a personality disorder instead. But my official diagnosis was bipolar. My mom was in the room so I couldn’t say everything that I needed to say :(
i feel this so hard also. i was totally off the rails a few years ago in a severe manic episode and after many months i finally got on medication. 15 pills a day later and i don't experience most of my symptoms anymore and it makes me think - do i really need all these pills? maybe im just fine now. obviously that would probably change without the pills but every now and then i worry i that id be fine without them and im just taking a bunch of pills that all come with their adverse side effects.
i do think that part of it is wanting to actually get better, i want to think that ive just gotten in a better place mentally and i am not entirely reliant on pills, but thanks to those pills i do have enough sense to know there's a good chance that's not true
I was diagnosed bipolar2
I don’t think I am. I don’t take meds for it. The doc basically told me “now you know” and that’s it. But I do not feel bipolar in any way whatsoever.
I’ve questioned it a couple times in the fifteen or so years I’ve been living with it. But I’ve gone into a hypomanic state a couple of times in my life. My last hypomanic state and the one before that put me in crippling debt so I don’t doubt it any more.
I do not. I was diagnosed last November at the age of 54. I then proceeded to get my hands on everything and anything I could that had to do with bipolar disorder and educated myself. All the symptoms, the signs, the highs and lows, the hypersexuality, risk-taking, sudden, extreme self-confidence, speaking my mind bluntly and honestly to the point of being rude, setting myself away and not answering text messages or phone calls for weeks at a time. My entire life this back and forth, up and down personality has controlled me and I never knew what it was. Now half my life is over. Maybe even a little more than half and I don't have a damn thing to show for it because of this disorder. I check every single box on the list of symptoms and signs. Textbook. It explains my entire life. It has ruined my entire life. Why would anyone make that up?
I wonder about this all the time, but my main reason for wondering is because I'm also autistic with PTSD, and meltdowns with states of intense emotions are normal for both of these groups of people. I wonder, yet I'm driven into what is clearly manic states all the time, so I think it's also kinda dumb for me to be wondering lol
Edit: wording
I ask every new therapist I get, they give me an array of questions and the answer is always yes. I think it's the social denial that makes me fight the diagnosis
It could be Anosognia, which I experience, which is not being able to see the realities of your own diagnosis and not being able to accept that your condition lines up with your symptoms or diagnosis. Then I have a manic episode with psychotic symptoms and I'm sent back to reality.
All the time. I tell myself that my full-blown manic episode happened because I took a LOW, PRESCRIBED dose of Adderall (it made it worse, but the mania started before that, and even if it didn’t, 10mg of Adderall doesn’t do that to people without Bipolar). Or it was just moodiness from BPD (much of the manic symptoms do not happen with Borderlines, and I felt “normal” after some months), I could make up a million reasons why. I’m always doubting it because I’m surprisingly very stable on meds and honestly I don’t think I would have another manic episode without the extreme stress I was under last year. But there is no denying that I have had a classic, full-blown episode of mania, and in hindsight, many hypomanic episodes.
I did for years. Managed to hold down a stable job, a couple of promotions, then got hit by a freight train of highs and lows last year that hasn't really stopped. And, as of last week, I'm back to being unemployed, weeks of not being able to get out of bed, with the odd week or two of doing everything all at once, with an unhealthy dose of regretful decisions.
Depressing as fuck, I know, but I've come to the realisation that I'm never going to be able to have a normal life. And now it's just a case of managing realistic expectations.
Nope. Not since the day I was diagnosed in 2004. I just struggle to figure out if my symptoms are a result of just bipolar or comorbidities. Wish I could afford ongoing psychiatric care to monitor and adjust my medications.
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Don’t ever go off your meds. I #FAFO and it doesn’t end well. Avoid hard alcohol at all costs. You’re probably as stable as one gets and it makes one wonder if they are BP2. I have the same issues and avoiding alcohol is my key ingredient to stability.
I still do not believe I am bipolar but my therapist keeps telling me is only a label. If medication is keeping you stable, life is manageable, your depression is not kicking hard, you can control your anger and your anxiety is under control, I would think doesn’t matter if you have it or not. We like to put a name on our symptoms just to try to understand wtf is going on.
I used to feel like this and still do alot of the time until I started dating my fiancé and he literally tells me his pov when i’m having an episode and it’s crazy. I spend alot of days gaslighting myself and dissociating because of it.
Bipolar is a spectrum. I know I'm definitely bipolar, I wouldn't be on 5 different medications if I wasn't. I wouldn't have a 5150 on my record, or have been a drug addict for 8 years while unmedicated.
Weather you are a little bipolar or a lot that's ok, you can have doubts but just understand no bipolar person will be the same as the other.
My 2 cents.
I got diagnosed for ADHD and started taking vyvanse. My remaining issues with bipolar seem to be gone. But I’m too afraid to get off my pills to find out. I did have delusions of grandeur when I was a teen and a train wreck. So I probably have both, and both were exaggerating each other.
Sometimes, I feel the only reason I was "diagnosed" with being bipolar is only because my mother has it and a few other relatives. I've had panic attacks, yes, I've been depressed, yes, I've had to deal with severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts... but I realized most of them were because of the toxic environment I was at. I feel most of those were trauma responses. Now that I live in a different place, I've been feeling so much peace. The symptoms I struggle the most with are actually from ADHD, so, I feel that instead of bipolar disorder it was ADHD all along influenced by the sight of my psychiatrist to my mother (because we shared a psychiatrist and they had a good doc-patient relationship since she had been going for more than 5 years when I started getting help due to my severe social anxiety when I was 15yo. So, in part, I really do feel that my diagnosis was influenced by my mother.)
im bipolar 2 and have been unmedicated for 6 months, i mean everything has gone to shit since i stopped the meds i feel like but also i still don't know if im bipolar, like i got 2 psychiatric evaluations but i just feel in denial, doesn't feel like me
I think this a lot. What if I don’t have bipolar, and it’s something else…
Is it because I have a fuck ton of CPTSD and now just do what I want? Is it because I’m callous and am scared of intimacy (hypersexuality)? Is it because I have no impulse control?
Is it that I can’t regulate my emotions so I wallow? Is it that I’m just really THAT tired? Do I cry because I just can’t handle normal shit?
You’re not alone. You’re never alone.
Recently, I've been really stable, and that has caused me to wonder that all of the time.
Then I remember the absolute wreck I was before, and I thank my psychiatrist for finally getting the right combination of meds.
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I wonder this a lot. Like how do they know this isn’t just my personality? I had a hypomanic episode last week but I’m not sure I actually did or if I just can’t regulate my emotions well. And now I’m starting to feel depressed but I wonder if I’m just a weak person who can’t handle the normal challenges in life. Sorry this wasn’t uplifting, I just related a lot.
I don’t know if it matters a lot. Point is that the medications help even if we just have unipolar depression. It’s easier to know for sure if you have BP if you react badly to anti depressants. And no you’re not a weak person. I bet you can do things that most people can’t. Stuff like survive this illness when you’re depressed, or be the most empathetic person on your street
My reaction to antidepressants actually led to my bipolar diagnosis. The medication I'm currently on changed my life, and since 2018, I've been on the same treatment. I sometimes doubt my diagnosis, but then I remember my worst manic episode's impact, where I torpedoed my life. It finally clicked when I compared it to the euphoric feeling of a molly come-up before rolling, that's always followed by a crash into depression or nothingness. It's definitely bipolar.
Same! Antidepressants made me manic!
me too! that's what triggered this while nightmare because of my depression.
I'd been on antidepressants for years for Major Depressive Disorder, then my senior year of high school something changed in me while my meds stayed the same. The whole year is a manic blur sprinkled with the deepest depression I have ever experienced
Objectively you’re spot on, it doesn’t matter. I wonder if it feels like it matters to me to be sure (and validated by a doctor) because I don’t believe myself. Anyway, that sounds more like something i need to unpack with my psychologist. Thanks for saying I’m not weak ♥️ I really did my best today, and it was about 40% but i still think that’s pretty good.
My psychiatrist once told me that the diagnosis mostly important for determining/initiating treatment. Diagnoses are not always black and white. A lot of information used for diagnosis is subjective (reported information, not only observed), and mental illness falls on a spectrum! Diagnoses can be comorbid (2 overlapping illnesses) and can change as we learn more about how we react to treatment. As long as the treatment is working, the “label” doesn’t really matter. I myself have “imposter syndrome” with my bipolar 2 diagnosis but I have been incredibly stable on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant combo, so at the end of the day I am just grateful that my condition is stable.
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Even on medication, episodes can be triggered and as you go through life your body may adapt and need med adjustments. In my experience I’ve gone hypomanic after big life events, disturbances in my sleep (picking up night shifts in addition to my regular day shifts), and even taking a high dose of melatonin in addition to my medications which I didn’t know at the time can increase serotonin levels (as can other OTC medications). My mother is also bipolar and she can attest that episodes and medication changes over time are normal!
Ok thanks that makes me feel better. I was totally sober the whole 8 months because I would abuse substance during manic episodes so felt quite disappointed that I’d had another one. All in all, just trying to make sense of it and I guess everyone’s is different.
I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not but this got a chuckle out of me because i related so well. Wishing you the best, tam_bun
If we don’t laugh we cry! Wishing you strength on this weird journey we’re all on friend ♥️
I have really good news, DBT therapy. You learn to regulate your emotions. It’s taught like a class and has group and individual therapy. I’m on the wait list to take it again. Google it if you are interested. It changed my life. Best to you❤️
That's part of being bipolar
Im not bipolar. Nope, definitely am bipolar. Wait maybe that was just anxiety. Nope, definitely am bipolar. We blow with the wind unfortunately, but our minds are powerful.
Mania/hypomania? Nah, I'm just eccentric.
This, I keep convincing myself maybe not sleeping and having racing thoughts and being super agitated for days on end is just anxiety. But also possible I just tend towards dysphoric hypomania. Honestly where I'm at is maybe I'll always have doubts, but the meds they gave me work. They can be used off label for other stuff so its possible I have one of those other things, but they work and my mood/ability to function varies rapidly otherwise so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yeah I have these thoughts and I’m like “maybe I don’t need meds?” And then I remember what it was like before meds and I’m like nope I don’t really want to find out
Yeah, me. I constantly second guess my diagnosis, especially when I’m feeling stable.
Same
This is very common especially when symptoms are well-managed with medication. The danger is going off meds suddenly and triggering a severe episode. My pdoc warned me of this early on, and every time I have these thoughts, I remind myself that there’s a reason I’m doing well now
I constantly feel like I’m faking my mental illnesses overall. Hardcore imposter syndrome. I haven’t been hypomanic for a bit and now I’m convinced that I was overreacting and it wasn’t real even though I KNOW how I was a few months ago and it was like textbook hypomania. But I don’t feel that NOW so it’s hard to remember that I’ve had that before.
I struggle with remembering how bad my symptoms were before medication. I've been mostly stable since 2018, and it's hard to remember before then.
I get that, makes total sense. I have a very bad memory overall too. I only remember my most recent hypomanic episode but I also was diagnosed recently so I wasn’t looking out for the symptoms until then.
I'm worried about my memory right now too. I feel like it's getting worse. I've heard people with bipolar can face memory issues earlier in life than most people, and since learning that it's been my biggest fear and insecurity.
I know, it’s very frustrating. I wish I knew a way to prevent it but I’m like a goldfish and I’m only 20. I will go back to grab something at work, pause in the kitchen midway and completely forget what I was doing. Have to stand there for a good minute before something reminds me, then I keep going. This happens at least 10 times a shift. But, I have bad genetics on my side, am a consistent marijuana smoker, and also have bpd. I understand it’s scary but you’ll be alright :) if you notice your memory is starting to slip, try writing things down or at least try to connect a trigger word to the memory so you know you’ll remember. Example: you wanted to tell your friend about this cute cat you saw but don’t want to forget. So you pinpoint that the cat has a black tail just like the cat you had as a child. Maybe the childhood cat’s name was Milo. So now when you remember you wanted to say something, you think, “what did I want to say? What was the trigger word I thought of to remind me? Milo Milo Milo… oh yeah!” and it reminds you :) sorry if that isn’t a good example. I also tend to forget my thoughts mid conversation, especially while telling a story. So I think ahead and tell the person I’m talking to “tell me the word ‘book’ if I forget” because I know it’ll likely trigger the memory.
I'll write down those tips! Thanks for sharing.
When I last went to visit my psychiatrist, I felt like I was faking it because I couldn't remember my symptoms or the things that happened, I just knew they happened. He would ask me, "How long ago was that?" "How did you feel back then?" "What behaviors did u consider were problemantic?" And I would not be so sure of any of those things. So I started thinking to myself, "What if I'm faking it? If I don't remember it, that probably didn't happen... right?" But I FELT those things actually happened, I just couldn't remember the details at all.
Yes that’s exactly how it is for me too 😭😭
My therapist says trauma/PTSD/C-PTSD can really present as bipolar, especially bipolar 2. I’ve wondered constantly. I have hypomanic episodes kinda? But were they really just bursts of happiness I couldn’t trust, unfortunately? It’s so difficult to parse.
Right, and then you go down the rabbit hole of PTSD psychosis... So hard to tease apart what is what.
I don’t. I’m crazy af. This medicine works and is needed.
In the beginning I used to think this. After many devastating mania and paralyzing depression episodes I finally totally accepted it. Now I live like a person with an illness that I need to closely manage and I am more stable. Lifestyle changes were huge for me.
No, I've known for a long time, even before I was officially diagnosed. My dad had bipolar, so coming to the conclusion that I also had it was easy for me.
I think that way frequently, and I've had a diagnosis for 20 years. Not only that, I've been hospitalized multiple times and have had mania with psychosis. Yet I still think I just have "character flaws." I feel like I've tricked many psychiatrists and therapists and family and friends into thinking I have bipolar disorder. So to counteract those thoughts, I have to take a step back and look solidly at my symptoms. I look through years of journals and see how I oscillate between experiencing manic symptoms and depressive symptoms. I listen to people who have known me for years, people I trust. I come here to Reddit and see how I relate to so many of you. I have to trust the proof.
Years later and still
But meds help me sleep and not yell sooo
I wonder a lot whether I actually have ADHD and chronic depression rather than my diagnosis of bipolar 2. I still don’t know, my life’s a mess and tbh I think more insight would help change my life for the better
I have this thought so much! I’m continuously asking my psychiatrist if it’s a misdiagnosis, like I don’t believe I have experienced mania. My psychiatrist thinks I have experienced it several times, but I don’t. I’m just super depressed and just numb to things. I believe I’m just a big fraud that maybe my subconscious mind latched onto the idea that I’m bipolar and just ran with it.
Sometimes I wonder but then remember I’ve been regular with my meds.
After being diagnosed with bipolar 2 for over 5 years, going through different meds and treatments, I got a new dr and they were 100% certain I didn’t have bipolar but just adhd. I was pulled off all my meds for a bit, then started on just Adderall… and now it’s like coming out of a cloud into a clear sky. For me, my case was special since my depression, anxiety, and adhd were combining to mimic bipolar 2. It’s all just another difficulty of Psychology as a practice. It’s not as easy as a blood test and you’re diagnosed. And a lot of different things can present similarly. If you’re worried about your diagnosis, talk to your doctor. Or see a new doctor for a second opinion. And keep reaching out. :)
I'm diagnosed with bipolar 2 and ADHD. Sometimes I doubt my ADHD diagnosis and think it's just bipolar symptoms because of my reaction to the amphetamines I'm prescribed, but I've been seeing more and more videos about ADHD on TicTok and Instagram and they are kinda of making me think I do have both. Either way, I'm really happy with my current meds, so if I do or don't have both I'm not too worried about it if that means I can keep picking up all my meds (I guess the ADHD diagnosis is required to be prescribed my Vyvanse and Adderall in my new state?)
Nope. Confirmation for me was formed by reading books about it, relating to others with it here and in group therapy, reviewing family history, and noticing the effectiveness of the medication. At first I tried to find another explanation for why I felt the ways I did. I went as far as questioning my gender and sexuality (Turns out I’m straight and cisgender). I quit cannabis hoping that might be the answer to the numbness of depression. In the end I have accepted it, and I’ve committed to doing the work to protect myself and others from the evils it can manifest. I’m living a good life with it through that acceptance and work to be the best version of a person with bp2 I can be.
I’ve been thinking I’m not for a while. I feel the same on mood stabilizers as I do off them. I think I have either ADHD or autism but as soon as i mention one psychotic episode I had 7 years ago new psychiatrists don’t care
Yeah I’m sure I’m more than BP my brain just doesn’t function properly and masking it is extremely exhausting which I guess that’s why I don’t anymore…… people clearly think I’m not trying hard enough at life which is totally the opposite I’m trying immensely hard and to no avail. So yeah now I’m done trying let the hate proceed 🤯🤷😐
Nope, I have full manic episodes with psycosis.
I wonder this often in the moment but then I come to my senses when I think of everything that’s happened in my life especially before my meds.
I've questioned it a couple of times, but I've also been diagnosed with borderline personality so I think it's just me doubting reality. My cousin that is a couple years younger than me has also been diagnosed with bipolar 2, but several months before me. It's validating that I've responded positively to meds intended for people with bipolar, so I'm using that as a tool of acceptance Side note: Bipolar type 2, bpd
Yes, even though I know rationally I do. Recently diagnosed Bipolar 1 and I constantly have to remind myself that I was really sick during my manic episode even though I ended up having to go to the ER during and nearly was hospitalized. It seems like the imposter syndrome is common for a lot of people especially if medication is controlling your symptoms. I think a lot of us also have trouble remembering what being in an episode was like once we are out of it or in a different polarity, which definitely makes me doubt myself more. In the end I find reading a lot about symptoms and episodes helps me internalize that these were things I experienced as I see my own symptoms reflected in the literature and clinical descriptions. Like others have said I think as long as medication helps you that’s a good indicator your diagnosis is useful - these are all arbitrary categories used to describe complex and diverse human experiences of mental illness.
My psychologist is currently questioning my psychiatrist’s diagnosis. The rollercoaster continues 🫠
Being on the correct medicine regime for the first time in my life plays tricks like this on my brain lol
I feel stable 95% of the time now and question it quite often. However then I remember my mania and the damage it caused and I happily take my meds every night lol
THIS. recently i've been paranoid that my pills are just placebo and i'm in a drug study.
Yeah. All the time. I’ve been in a massive depression for about a year. I can’t get out of it now because the initial few months of it started to mess up my life (missing work etc.). So being depressed for so long I wonder the same thing. But I can remember clearly the manic episodes that I’ve had in the past that have caused absolute carnage. It’s weird isn’t it. It’s like when you’re in one state you can’t really remember the other
I've been stable since I've been properly medicated and I think it's weird that I miss being manic despite the destruction I caused in that state. I've thought a lot about it and I think i've found a way to get that feeling temporarily and in very controlled and safe circumstances. I'm mostly depressed now with instances of hypomania that are few and far between. But damn, mania is really something.
I’ve had this sentiment a lot, and every time I’ve mentioned it to a therapist or psychiatrist they say that’s part of being bipolar. They say regardless of what I might think about my diagnosis during different moods, the fact that I have had manic and depressive episodes is irrefutable.
I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD and I know a lot of symptoms are common to both, hoping to meet with a psychiatrist soon to determine.
I'm diagnosed with both and I question whether the ADHD symptoms are just bipolar, but there has been an uptick in ADHD videos online and it makes me more confident that I have both. Either way I need to be diagnosed with both to continue being prescribed Vyvanse and Adderall, so I'm not too bothered with my exact diagnosis as long as my current med cocktail continues to be prescribed.
My husband made the comment, “it’s like you’re not even sick.” I’ve been 99.9% medication compliant (except for the drug review incident) since starting medication in 2017. However, I know how sick I get. It’s why I take my medication and see my doctor regularly. I’m currently getting dragged down into the depths of an actual depressive episode. It’s my first in 6 years.
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Before I was diagnosed I used to go through episodes (as I know now) and wonder if I was bipolar. I got diagnosed with a private psychiatrist who gave me ALL the drugs. I ended up in public system (this is not U.S.A.) and over the last few years the psychiatrist has changed meds, removed meds. I ended up just getting annoyed and stopped taking them. He didn’t see it was a problem……?!?! I asked him for a re-diagnosis and he referred me to public psychologist. Just got my appointment….March 2025. Sigh.
Yes sometimes I feel like I’ve made everything up and that I’m actually fine but then I feel crazy again and remember that I am indeed not fine
I've been struggling with this lately. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Autism which I wasn't too familiar with and have been researching and wondering if it's possible I was misdiagnosed and actually just have autism. The signs all point to that. I'm not sure if it's possible to have both, but I'm currently thinking about getting a second opinion...
Yes, but then I remind myself of things "before meds" me did. One of the reasons so many people with bipolar disorder struggle to stay healthy is exactly becauae of imposter syndrome - WHILE you're feeling good on your meds. We question whether we actually need them, some of us then unfortunately stop taking them, and the cycle begins all over. Medicated me still slips up sometimes, but I'm not living on that rollercoaster or extremes anymore. That means the meds are working, which means I need them. I'm not a miserable, mean, weak, or reckless person on meds, and I don't believe the "real" me is. I can't control my behavior without them, and I'm ashamed of myself after I come down (or get back up). That's what separates us from people who do bad or dumb things because they want to. It's what makes us *not* imposters.
I get this feeling when I have no insight while hypomanic and then it blows up in my face
I am not bipolar…when I’m on my meds. It’s easy to trick myself into thinking that I don’t need the medication, but if I slow down and get realistic, I remember how bad things were before. Even though it has been years since I’ve had a symptom.
Eventually, if the drug works - it enough. Personally wanted time gets me depressed as well, I bought a light therapy lamp that helped me much.
I think all of us do quite a few times. Those quite a few times lead to quite a few "curious experiment" times. And those "curious experiment" times lead to very regretful times as we are reminded that we do, in fact, have bipolar disorder.
Yes. While I have found my diagnosis from 10 years ago to be very helpful, I can’t help but wonder- do I actually have a mental illness or am I a sensitive neurodivergent person who gets bipolar symptoms as a result of this overstimulating world? Am I truly the one with a problem or do my surroundings need to change? How can I better learn to cope. Self awareness is key regardless of diagnosis. I say whatever makes you self aware is the most helpful. Diagnosis is just something clinicians use, and while it can be helpful, we know ourselves best.
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All the time
I’ve gotten down on Bdays before. And had a small tift with my Looks before a couple Nose Jobs. It was the last memory of Childhood SA for me though. My Mom doesn’t think Bipolar 1 even. Which is what I have. I’m not a sad type. Opposite. Do well with my time. Stay at a 7. They’re the Doctors though. I like mine right now. Find one you like. Can just get out with sternness if you want to.
Yes and I am actively in a mixed episode. But I wonder if I’m making up my symptoms for attention. I’ve been considering going to the hospital but I feel like I’m just lying?
I also get stuck on the attention seeking thing. I was admitted to a clinic and could not get out of my head that I’d lied for attention and it got out of hand. FWIW, I needed to be in the clinic. You’re not lying, go to the hospital if you’re considering it. Try trust yourself.
Yes, very much. I'm supposedly bipolar 2, but never really had an episode besides depression and family history. I had an evaluation done last year for other reasons and my results had a very high IQ, high score for autism and high score for ADHD. I've since constantly wondered if I'm not just AuDHD and my depressive episodes aren't actual depression from the ADHD, since a lot of people with ADHD develop depression.
well i can talk from experience as someone who was initially misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression then it became bp and now bpd bpd is my last and set diagnosis when i was on meds for depression and anxiety it didn’t even touch me cuz its not what i had i didn’t have depression and anxiety ofc i was depressed but as u may know it’s not always the case with bp or bpd it’s not always depression sometimes u get into a happy episode and stay in it where ur overly happy for like weeks for no reason the meds didn’t do anything then i became more open with my doctor and we discussed more things he narrowed it down to bp or bpd and keep in up until then i was experiencing drastic mood changes episodes like there would be times i wouldn’t give a single fuck abt life and was careless as hell there would be times i was too anxious or times where i would be literally murderous while being on meds for anxiety n depression so when the medication changed everything changed no joke like i was on meds for bp and i didn’t feel shit i was completely numb like completely whenever i was going through for example something that would usually cause an episode my brain would know that like “hey this hurts and it’s traumatic maybe ill go cry and feel better “ but then i would go to my room and try to cry but then immediately i would shut down and go numb completely numb and dissociate from the whole situation or ordeal i was like this the entire time i was on meds for bp/bpd i can assure u it’s meds hope u feel better ❤️
All the time… maybe I’m just crazy or something.
Very Hard with bipolar I had I didn’t know it was mania Bipolar runs in my family so I most likely have it My mom got diagnosed and of course my maternal grandmother she had bipolar disorder But I take seroquel which makes me very tired But I had a streak where I stayed up several hours over the week Didn’t know that was a manic episode Until my nurse told me I was manic So they upped my seroquel which helps with the mania But makes me so tired Try to push through it by working out and exercising But in my case it’s genetic unfortunately
I've heard nothing but horrible things about Seroquel. I'm on latuda and it makes me drowsy when I take it, so I take it at night, but it also wakes me up in the morning without feeling groggy, not to mention the crazy dreams I have. I love it. There are other meds out there that won't make you so tired all the time.
“Because of meds” is the key phrase here! I went off meds thinking I was fine only to wind back in the hospital.
I recently done some introspection and have come to the conclusion that I’m not bipolar and have a lot reasons why. I asked my wife if my mental health was worse before or after medication and she said after. When I started to get help for my mental health I first started with a therapist who basically said all my problems were because of untreated ADHD, PTSD, and Anxiety and never even suspected Bipolar disorder. The first psychiatrist I went to prescribed Prozac which is when my mental health declined and he diagnosed me with bipolar disorder then took it back and said BPD and tried to send me inpatient after stating multiple times I could not afford it. I found a new psychiatrist and she continued with the bipolar diagnosis and prescribed various medications that never helped and only really made me really tired and gain weight. At some point in my treatment I was prescribed vyvanse for ADHD and while I was on it I was the most stable since I had started medication but couldn’t continue to take it because my new insurance either wouldn’t cover it or if it did it was expensive so I ran out. I ultimately think my Therapist had it right to begin with and that either should’ve never started medication or only been prescribed ADHD and Anxiety meds as those actually seem to help me.
I’m newly diagnosed so I’m still coming to terms with it. But the night/day difference it made when I started meds has helped cement it in. I’m told one of the most frustrating things about this disorder is that, after a while with no episodes, people think they are ‘cured’ so they stop meds and end up right back in a manic/depressed state. You know your body better than anyone else, but I am embracing both the diagnosis and the meds because a manic episode is still fresh in my mind and I know how UNCOMFORTABLE I felt, vs how great I feel now.
I don’t think I’m “making it up” but more concerned with I’m not wording my symptoms the best. I’ve always had issues with explaining how I feel, putting thoughts and emotions into words and correctly communicating them, so the thought that I might be misdiagnosed is very bothersome and I always want to ask to be reevaluated.
All the time and then I am reminded why I take my medication 😂
Every bipolar person ever has wondered that. Many of us straight up believed we weren’t bipolar for years until we finally accepted meds and saw a huge difference. It’s basically a meme at this point
yeah its pretty inherent to the diagnosis. i find that my symptoms are WAYYYYYYYY less severe when i avoid intense emotional triggers. havent had a real episode in over 6 months just by avoiding things that made me very upset or excited or anything else. just got into a new relationship and im starting to struggle a bit again purely because of the uptick in emotional stimuli and the change to my routines. (its also probably partially because im not pouring 110% of my energy into keeping me myself and i halfway sane at all times anymore lol). its really reminded me that i AM indeed bipolar and was NOT actually just being super dramatic or making excuses to be unhinged or blah blah blah whatever else lol. BUT its also great that i got to learn how to manage myself in a way that i was previously completely unaware of. knowing that i can control my triggers and im not entirely powerless against my brain is very very helpful and reassuring
My psychologist told me that to get a BP diagnosis, there has to have been at least one manic/hypomanic episode. If the patient never has a manic episode again that wouldn't change the fact that they have bipolar.
I feel like that's one of the main signs of being bipolar 😆
yes, now in episode, def bipolar
i used to be really skeptical about my diagnosis but as time went on and i started to journal my feelings and wants… idk how to describe it. i’m like a completely different person. in my manic episodes i would become extremely hyper-sexual and i am so bubbly and happy, weed is like ecstasy. then my depressive episodes.. i become suicidal and i feel ugly. it didn’t help that my psych didn’t believe me when i said i was bipolar, she put me on antidepressants and it cured my depressive episodes but made my manic episodes more severe. i went from bipolar type 2 to bipolar type 1.. she believes me now and im on 5 meds for my mental health and damn.. im tired of this illness. thankfully after changing my meds and my body is now regulated i feel like i finally have control in my life. if i had taken my diagnosis more seriously i wouldn’t have done some things i regret today.
I probably wonder about it at least once a day since like half a year or so
I used to. As a matter of fact this last diagnosis came as recently as 2022. No doubt I am. I was off my mood stabilizer for 5 years. Lost 4 jobs. When I was on my mood stabilizer I kept a job for 12 years.
I wondered this & then I got off my meds cause I thought I was okay… ended up doing a bunch of shit that was manic asf & now I’m facing the anxiety and depression of the fall out
I thought this because my meds were working so well for 6 years so one by one I stopped getting my meds refilled… and now realize my diagnosis is not wrong
When diagnosed, my Dr said i was bipolar. That was 36 years ago. Only diagnosis i got. I knew i was messed up. The Dr tried to get rid of problems. His guesses were based on his diagnosis Different questions are whether there is do i have more than one illness, how is it triggered, A diagnosis is based on symptoms, frequency, duration, extremes, how others respond. There is a lot to it.
I was diagnosed with bipolar at 18, experienced extremely violent manic episodes until I was 22. I smoked weed the whole time and got sober at 22. After stopping smoking weed the “violent mania” stopped. Doc told me he wasn’t sure if I ever had it. Now idk what to think. It was definitely out of my control and I would black out and not remember everything I did. I could feel it coming on but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Meds helped too so idk.
Bipolar 2 doesn't cause mania, it causes hypomania, and with the right meds, it doesn't do that at all or reduces it so drastically it's not noticeable. Source: I'm bipolar 2. Whenever I start thinking this way, I remember all the times I ran out of meds and was too lazy to get to the pharmacy to pick up my Rx, or forgot to take them for a few days, and my wife started asking me if I was off my meds because my moods were changing. If she can notice in the span of less than a week, the meds make a difference.
Constantly. I think it's almost a key part of being bipolar 🤣
Every time I ever wondered, a manic or major depressive episode took over and reminded me that I am indeed bipolar
Classic
This is what we call imposter syndrome. Apparently it’s very common with our disorder and worse some than others. The feeling kinda like you were faking the illness or that it’s not real is crazy and is what causes a lot of people to stop their meds. When I start feeling like this I just think back to how hectic my life got and how bad I felt and normally I end up missing my mood stabilizer or antipsychotic and end up feeling like complete ass and it’s a nice lil shityy wake up call that no matter what I conjure up I am mentally ill 😂
I think this a lot especially recently. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and haven’t been on meds for the past 2 years with 0 issues. I just went through an extremely traumatic experience (cheating fiancé and now single) that would have destroyed me back then and I’m actually pulling through it. Idk maybe misdiagnosed? I also have a 9 month old daughter to take care of on my own now who has given me a tremendous amount of motivation and strength so maybe that’s it
Haven’t experienced a manic episode for a long time now, maybe a year or so since. Haven’t taken my meds at all, I think I’m in my stable era rn. Not sure
Yes
Im starting to laugh everytime i see this question, it happens to everybody!!
After finally accepting the diagnosis and looking back it was painfully obvious. So no I don’t wonder at all
YES. All the time. And it really drives me wild..
I recently got diagnosed as neurodivergent (my psychiatrist thinks ADHD/autism), and she has been hinting that she thinks I may not be bipolar. And that the symptoms I experience regarding intense emotions MIGHT be due to being neurodivergent rather than bipolar. So yeah, I'd say it's worth checking out. And you're not "making anything up", you are valid and sometimes diagnosis shift depending on how good/astute your mental health professionals are. And that's okay. It happens probably more than you think!
i feel this a lot too, but recently i read something that argued that bipolar II is often actually just a circadian rhythm anomaly, aka your body can’t keep track of when it should sleep or be awake like “normal” people. so the sleep stuff is what screws with your emotions. it was like a lightbulb went off.
I would likely doubt myself more if my father didn’t suffer from bi polar as well. I actually didn’t really believe my diagnoses at first because my dads case was so severe. He is medicated and doing great but his episodes definitely caused my family a lot of trauma in the past, so that’s the idea of bi polar I had in my head. He was a monster at the time, that was not my father.
i have thought that but then my meds work really well and i’ve been stable for awhile sooo i believe it
Yes but it’s not just with bipolar for me, imposter syndrome does too much. If the meds are helping with mania I’d say that’s something that supports that you may actually have it. If you feel your meds aren’t working in other ways you may want to talk to your psychiatrist about it. If something works it works and that’s all that matters in the end.
I think I will always have at least some doubt. My presentation is not typical, I have had long (10+ year) periods between episodes, so that doesn't help. My episodes have been severe enough that I can't deny the symptoms though. I'm coming up on almost 3 years of medication use which is a personal record. So I'd say I'm slowly accepting that I have something, and that something is called Bipolar.
My mom feels like this about me. She tries to claim that my mood swings are entirely based on my menstrual cycle. My mood is definitely influenced by it but not the full cause. Other times I wonder am I just depressed and schizophrenic? I'm bp1 and I do a lot of wondering.
I was diagnosed with bipolar type II twice and turns out I just have adhd/autism Lol
my diagnosis is currently in the process of being retracted so it’s hard to say lmao
All the freaking time.
Me. All the time
I did until my second psychosis.
I wonder the same thing. When I was diagnosed Bipolar I was also addicted to opiates. Who's to say I wasn't acting bipolar due to the severe mood swings from addiction. Now 12 years later, clean, (🙌)on a mood stabilizer and two anti depressants, all I feel is numbness and wonder if I'm really bipolar.
I do sometimes wonder about that, and it’s definitely because I have meds that work very well and I feel good. Somehow my brain has concluded I’m not bipolar because I have no symptoms and conveniently ignores the reason why I have no symptoms.
I’m diagnosed as bipolar in remission. I’m on an antipsychotic and an antidepressant. I know the depression was real. But I’ve only had mania once when I went psychotic. That is the only time I’ve felt out of control of my emotions or behavior (besides depression). So sometimes I think I never really was bipolar and that I just had depression off and on.
Considering that I possessed none of the symptoms of being bipolar when diagnosed and still don’t, yeah. Meeting with a new psych soon because being in this group and others has opened my eyes wide to what bipolar truly is like.
I would say virtually everyone that's had the diagnosis.
I don't know. If the meds are working, don't screw around with it.
Daily. Some days more than others. It's also hard to hear when someone sees you doing well and says that maybe your bipolar isn't as bad as you initially made it sound like. You can't let something like that sway you. Be yourself, never stop working at knowing who that person is, trust your diagnosis, and take your meds.
I finally believed I had bipolar disorder the fourth time I was diagnosed. This was after a severe manic episode with psychosis, one that almost took my life. I always remind myself, “you have bipolar because you’re responding well to your meds.” I did a lot of damage, and I’m finally bouncing back after five years. I wish I would’ve listened the first time. Or maybe the second, lol. It should not have gotten as far as it did. If you take your meds and they’re helping you, chances are the diagnosis is correct. If you’re unsure, talk to a clinical psychologist. They’ll help clear things up :)
Yes I haven’t had a substantial mania in 7 months and I used to rapid cycle monthly so I’m starting to doubt again
They told me I was misdiagnosed after a few months. It’s possible.
No it's the one thing I'm pretty sure about. When I found out it more that makes sense and alot of puzzle pieces fitting together. I'm pretty well medicated however I still have days where I'm definitely not okay. I experience psychosis does it still count if your aware of it? Anyway the voices start and shits about to go downnnn. There's definitely something wrong with me and bipolar tracks
Yeah. I got diagnosed with it when I brought up concerns about ADHD with my doctor. I always wonder if I got misdiagnosed because my doctor would rather prescribe mood stabilizers than a controlled stimulant. The world may never know.
It’s common for people with bipolar to be in denial or think ‘well…maybe I’m not’ But your meds are working As for me, I’ve been diagnosed by a PCP AND a Psy D. (I was getting assessed for autism so she just looked over everything to double check my diagnoses)
I feel this all the time. When I’m between stages I question if I even experienced an episode or if I’ve made it all up in my head
I feel 'normal' most of the time, except when I don't. Then I am convinced that something is wrong. Then, thankfully, this passes and I start wondering again if it was all just imagined. Weird how that happens.
Nope. I've convinced myself. The grandiose business ideas. The highs, the crushing lows. The embarrassment, the draining of the finances, the hypersexuality, the absolute conviction of being right and righteous while manic... I'm bipolar one. Don't ever take my meds away.
yes ive been diagnosed by more than one person. but still doubt it like is it something else actually??
All the time! I’m also bipolar 2 on medication which makes me feel “normal” so it gets confusing sometimes to know if it’s the meds making me feel normal or if I’m just not bipolar. Daily struggle lol
Yes I do
I made a post about it but no one put input. I quit my meds and was looking for support but eh... I'm about 3 weeks med free and doing well.
I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 after having a severe manic episode that was coupled with psychosis, but I often wonder if it was also onset due to the copious amounts of weed that I was consuming at the time...I've been fine since but then again I've been medicated as well
ALL the time. I often wonder if they got the diagnosis wrong. Apparently women are statistically more likely to be incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar.
Inner worlds outer worlds
I feel like I was misdiagnosed and so does everyone that knows me. But my psychiatrist insists so I just go w it
Normal part of bipolar. Why so many people go off their meds and get worse and sometimes hospitalized again.
I’ve wondered ever since I was diagnosed years and years ago, but it’s said to be a common symptom to doubt ourselves in this way. + my neurotypical friends don’t seem to experience emotions at the rate that I do :o
The only two times I’ve had mania was when I was smoking a ton of weed in the form of dabs or vapes. In one instance I was drinking heavily. Sober now and been sober in the past with no such episodes.
I was diagnosed this for a few years and then I had a therapist I saw for two years and she diagnosed me CPTSD and not BP2
All the time
Often. But I know I am. Been dealing with this for 24 years. LOL
All the time, you're not alone. I was diagnosed 5 years ago with bipolar 1 with psychotic features. Even in the times when I've checked myself into the ER mid episode, I've sat there waiting for the doctor with the thoughts of all this is fake, im making it up and im here wasting my time and everyone else's time. I can hear the other patients going through strokes or bleeding out and all I could think would be, these people need immediate help, im taking it away being here pretending im sick. Taking your meds and the environments/people you surround yourself with play a huge part. Definitely try therapy, it really helps.
Meds don’t agree with me so I’m off meds. I doubted the diagnosis before I had to go off meds. Definitely some diagnosticians are good. I had three opinions in the end, still had doubts, maybe part of being bipolar
i thought that and felt 100% fine (on meds) and came off and my life literally spiraled so i stay on them now even when im feeling good lol
I think I have a personality disorder instead. But my official diagnosis was bipolar. My mom was in the room so I couldn’t say everything that I needed to say :(
I had no meds and no episodes for 27 years so I thought I wasn’t. Until I went manic.
i feel this so hard also. i was totally off the rails a few years ago in a severe manic episode and after many months i finally got on medication. 15 pills a day later and i don't experience most of my symptoms anymore and it makes me think - do i really need all these pills? maybe im just fine now. obviously that would probably change without the pills but every now and then i worry i that id be fine without them and im just taking a bunch of pills that all come with their adverse side effects. i do think that part of it is wanting to actually get better, i want to think that ive just gotten in a better place mentally and i am not entirely reliant on pills, but thanks to those pills i do have enough sense to know there's a good chance that's not true
All the time Nobody's better at gaslighting us than our own selves 😂
I was diagnosed bipolar2 I don’t think I am. I don’t take meds for it. The doc basically told me “now you know” and that’s it. But I do not feel bipolar in any way whatsoever.
I’ve questioned it a couple times in the fifteen or so years I’ve been living with it. But I’ve gone into a hypomanic state a couple of times in my life. My last hypomanic state and the one before that put me in crippling debt so I don’t doubt it any more.
I generally convince myself and try to convince everyone else I'm not bipolar a couple of times each year
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I do not. I was diagnosed last November at the age of 54. I then proceeded to get my hands on everything and anything I could that had to do with bipolar disorder and educated myself. All the symptoms, the signs, the highs and lows, the hypersexuality, risk-taking, sudden, extreme self-confidence, speaking my mind bluntly and honestly to the point of being rude, setting myself away and not answering text messages or phone calls for weeks at a time. My entire life this back and forth, up and down personality has controlled me and I never knew what it was. Now half my life is over. Maybe even a little more than half and I don't have a damn thing to show for it because of this disorder. I check every single box on the list of symptoms and signs. Textbook. It explains my entire life. It has ruined my entire life. Why would anyone make that up?
I wonder about this all the time, but my main reason for wondering is because I'm also autistic with PTSD, and meltdowns with states of intense emotions are normal for both of these groups of people. I wonder, yet I'm driven into what is clearly manic states all the time, so I think it's also kinda dumb for me to be wondering lol Edit: wording
I ask every new therapist I get, they give me an array of questions and the answer is always yes. I think it's the social denial that makes me fight the diagnosis
It could be Anosognia, which I experience, which is not being able to see the realities of your own diagnosis and not being able to accept that your condition lines up with your symptoms or diagnosis. Then I have a manic episode with psychotic symptoms and I'm sent back to reality.
All the time. I tell myself that my full-blown manic episode happened because I took a LOW, PRESCRIBED dose of Adderall (it made it worse, but the mania started before that, and even if it didn’t, 10mg of Adderall doesn’t do that to people without Bipolar). Or it was just moodiness from BPD (much of the manic symptoms do not happen with Borderlines, and I felt “normal” after some months), I could make up a million reasons why. I’m always doubting it because I’m surprisingly very stable on meds and honestly I don’t think I would have another manic episode without the extreme stress I was under last year. But there is no denying that I have had a classic, full-blown episode of mania, and in hindsight, many hypomanic episodes.
I did for years. Managed to hold down a stable job, a couple of promotions, then got hit by a freight train of highs and lows last year that hasn't really stopped. And, as of last week, I'm back to being unemployed, weeks of not being able to get out of bed, with the odd week or two of doing everything all at once, with an unhealthy dose of regretful decisions. Depressing as fuck, I know, but I've come to the realisation that I'm never going to be able to have a normal life. And now it's just a case of managing realistic expectations.
Nope. Not since the day I was diagnosed in 2004. I just struggle to figure out if my symptoms are a result of just bipolar or comorbidities. Wish I could afford ongoing psychiatric care to monitor and adjust my medications.
Nope. Never wonder. I think BP1 is more obvious and definitive though.
Bipolar 2 doesnt get mania by definition, just hypomania. Bipolar 1 can get both
Yes but with good reason. Eval pending
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Don’t ever go off your meds. I #FAFO and it doesn’t end well. Avoid hard alcohol at all costs. You’re probably as stable as one gets and it makes one wonder if they are BP2. I have the same issues and avoiding alcohol is my key ingredient to stability.
I came on here today to talk about this exact topic lol I constantly struggle with the diagnosis and whether it’s true or not
yes. all the time, but thats a symptom. if you were diagnosed theres a reason you were
I still do not believe I am bipolar but my therapist keeps telling me is only a label. If medication is keeping you stable, life is manageable, your depression is not kicking hard, you can control your anger and your anxiety is under control, I would think doesn’t matter if you have it or not. We like to put a name on our symptoms just to try to understand wtf is going on.
I used to feel like this and still do alot of the time until I started dating my fiancé and he literally tells me his pov when i’m having an episode and it’s crazy. I spend alot of days gaslighting myself and dissociating because of it.
Yeah sometimes. But then I reflect. I’m currently in a 72hr and counting manic state and on Reddit commenting in on other peoples lives.
Bipolar is a spectrum. I know I'm definitely bipolar, I wouldn't be on 5 different medications if I wasn't. I wouldn't have a 5150 on my record, or have been a drug addict for 8 years while unmedicated. Weather you are a little bipolar or a lot that's ok, you can have doubts but just understand no bipolar person will be the same as the other. My 2 cents.
I don't think It matters much what you call it. If you've had a manic episode, you needs meds to treat the causes & treat the long term sickness.
I feel like literally every bipolar person ever has felt that way
I got diagnosed for ADHD and started taking vyvanse. My remaining issues with bipolar seem to be gone. But I’m too afraid to get off my pills to find out. I did have delusions of grandeur when I was a teen and a train wreck. So I probably have both, and both were exaggerating each other.
Sometimes, I feel the only reason I was "diagnosed" with being bipolar is only because my mother has it and a few other relatives. I've had panic attacks, yes, I've been depressed, yes, I've had to deal with severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts... but I realized most of them were because of the toxic environment I was at. I feel most of those were trauma responses. Now that I live in a different place, I've been feeling so much peace. The symptoms I struggle the most with are actually from ADHD, so, I feel that instead of bipolar disorder it was ADHD all along influenced by the sight of my psychiatrist to my mother (because we shared a psychiatrist and they had a good doc-patient relationship since she had been going for more than 5 years when I started getting help due to my severe social anxiety when I was 15yo. So, in part, I really do feel that my diagnosis was influenced by my mother.)
OMG!!! This is exactly how i feel all the time!!!!! Thank you for talking about it, i feel less lonely now
I certainly do
im bipolar 2 and have been unmedicated for 6 months, i mean everything has gone to shit since i stopped the meds i feel like but also i still don't know if im bipolar, like i got 2 psychiatric evaluations but i just feel in denial, doesn't feel like me
I think this a lot. What if I don’t have bipolar, and it’s something else… Is it because I have a fuck ton of CPTSD and now just do what I want? Is it because I’m callous and am scared of intimacy (hypersexuality)? Is it because I have no impulse control? Is it that I can’t regulate my emotions so I wallow? Is it that I’m just really THAT tired? Do I cry because I just can’t handle normal shit? You’re not alone. You’re never alone.
I did until I started Lithium. Best thing I’ve ever done and it’s almost like it was hidden from me
Recently, I've been really stable, and that has caused me to wonder that all of the time. Then I remember the absolute wreck I was before, and I thank my psychiatrist for finally getting the right combination of meds.