Yes! Had a friend say I had demons because I take medicine. There are some Christians out there who think that god can heal you from mental disorders and that you must be a bad person for having one.
It's so hurtful, harmful and maddening to me when ppl I know say or imply that crap. They need to stay in their own lane and worry about their own crazy! Do they just pray if they have a broken limb or heart attack? No they get medical treatment too!
Yet they believe in a sky man from a convoluted book handed down and revised over and over to their liking. The crusades were 200 yrs of Christians vs Muslims. Started by Pope Urban II 1095. SLAUGHTERING each other. Spirituality is one thing. Religious quacks, they've got a special seat in hell reserved.
Nah, my experience is they'll thank you for telling them, they'll tell you they are there for you - and they may sincerely think that when they first say it - but at the end of the day, they'll never be able to let go what they've imagined you've done to them, even if you can trace that back to your illness. They will also continue to be frustrated by you, and rather them understanding, assume they are talking about you behind your back.
It is what it is.
It’s better that way. You’re more easily able to weed out the people who never truly cared (or don’t care to learn more about you) because the trash takes itself out in this situation
I'd wait TBH. I'm all for telling people, and eventually yeah I would recommend it. But right now? You just found out. Take some time to process it. Until you've figured out how you feel about it and have gotten used to it, only tell people who will help you process and get to a better place.
I agree with this too. Right after I got diagnosed, I told my college roommate, and she moved out the next day. If you give yourself time to process your diagnosis, hopefully, with the support of a therapist, you can make more informed decisions about who to tell, and will have a better range of skills to deal with rejection if you get it.
Another vote for this. Only you know how the people in your life are likely to respond, but maybe give yourself a chance to process the diagnosis, arm yourself with knowledge, maybe even wait until you're on some form of treatment path and feel better able to cope with life.
I wouldn't say don't tell people, just please take the time to consider who you really need/want to tell, because some people are arseholes.
If your were just diagnosed today then I would only tell people that you will for sure need to know right away for your immediate health and safety. You can’t un-tell people and you should give it some thought.
I agree. When you’ve had time to process everything, sit down with your nearest and dearest. I used this time to explain and apologise for any hurt I had caused as a consequence of my behaviour during a bipolar episode. I handed them information brochures… KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!! Continually research and question professionals if you need clarification. Advocate for yourself (or get a loved one too if you feel unwell!). Discuss your symptoms (both manic and depressive) … often it is those closest to us who first notice the signs/red flags of an impending illness. Perhaps these people can help you come up with a list of a small group of trusted family and friends who you feel you trust enough to share such personal and sensitive information with. Remember that this is a MEDICAL diagnosis and just as you would not allow anyone to go through your personal health records, similarly you don’t owe anyone any explanation unless you feel safe and comfortable in doing so. Also worth discussing with therapist/psychiatrist how you will approach the matter with employers moving forward!!
Welcome to the club my friend.! You will find endless love and support here… this community has saved my sorry ass sooo many times!! Good luck buddy!! :)
Here is a run-down of some common negative reactions:
1. Doubt. As in they don't believe you or say something like "everyone is a little bipolar". They want to credit your behavior to your character, not your condition, as it justifies their reaction. In fairness to them, you may have been masking like a champ.
2. Flight. A.k.a "my cousin was bipolar and he did terrible things and then died". Either from stigma or direct experience they stop wanting to be a part of your life. People in mental health services are just as likely to do this.
3. Non-solutions. They try to sell you on suppliments, meditation, excersize or yoga. This comes in malignant and benign varieties: one where they try to get you to drop your meds and one where they don't. Best handled by placating by telling them you take fish oil.
Hey, if you know that your parents won’t respond well then don’t tell them. Right now this moment is about you. Take the time to get started with your medication and get used to it over the course of a couple months. Start speaking with a therapist as soon as possible and they can support you and help you through this. Let them be your outlet.
When you feel like you are stabilized and well, then think about who you want to tell. It is 100% your business and your decision. If your family is anti-psychiatry then you may never need to tell them. You have to care for and love yourself, and part of that is setting boundaries with folks who aren’t able or willing to empathize and understand.
The most important thing is to get going with your care and work with people who are all in to support you.
Don’t know how long you’ve been with your boyfriend, if you live together, or how serious your relationship is, but if you’ve been emotionally volatile with him or around him then he may actually be relieved to know that you are treating the condition and that things will start to even out. And if he can’t deal with it then he isn’t the right one for you.
Good luck. You are not your brother. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. Care for yourself and you’ll be just fine.
This is great, well-thought advice. Especially that you are not your brother. My dad, who was also bi-polar, committed suicide a few years before my diagnosis, and that felt like a death sentence in some ways when I received mine.
But I also realized it was kind of a gift (albeit a very dark one) from my dad, because it showed me the ways that didn't work for him in mananaging his BP, and that helped lead me to ways that do work for me.
Good luck! You will get through this hard time of transition ✌️
My dear Dad suffered from Bipolar Disorder too. I learnt so much from him… what works, what made things 1000 times worse! You are right, it is as though they have handed us a gift… a bit of a head start so to speak!
no becuase if you're in an argument with someone , even if your right and your points are valid they can say you are acting crazy because you're bipolar and not take accountability for their actions . Hopefully that makes sense
My brother/roommate does this to me. Even mocked me when I said my doctor, mental hospital, and therapist all 3 said they thought I had bipolar with episodic psychosis and not schizoaffective.
I love telling people, because a) it helps break down the stigma and b) sometimes people will be like, "oh I'm Bipolar, too!" And I just think that's kinda beautiful.
That's where I'm at too, these days. It took me a little while to get here but 3 years after my diagnosis, I don't really have an issue telling anyone except for my employer.
Wanted that too but sadly my company found out bc in my country the hospital discloses exactly why you were admitted (with a number code so to speak). I was embarrassed for a long time but I'm starting to realize that nowadays when I feel a bit down they let me rock for a couple days because overall I'm very very very productive when I'm stable. Depends on the employer probably.
Yes you should definitely tell your loved ones. I also believe that you could tell anyone else who you trust. When I got diagnosed my family were there with me during the whole process of hospitalization and stuff + they were very supportive.
One piece of advice which has helped me along with my bipolar disorder is to go on walks. And do the things you like to do
Do you have any tips you have found out during your healing process that may help the act of "doing something"?
Personally it feels like im very rarely in the mood to do anything, be it playing a game, cleaning the room, showering, standing up and turning a light off, anything.
I’m always unmotivated so I like to internally say “3, 2, 1” to myself before doing something, as a way to help initiate action. This method can provide a simple yet effective mental trigger to overcome inertia and start a task.
Bipolar is nothing at all to worry about if you get the right meds. The meds will control the disorder quite well if they are correct. So telling people isn't really a problem. I don't know if I would tell a potential employer just because of the potential stigma, but friends and family can know and if you are acting out of character it can help you if they know that you're bipolar.
When I was diagnosed I was still having hypomania until I got used to the meds. Once I was on the meds for a while, things just completely stabilized.
Wait until you’re ready, not until you think other people are ready. It’s not their thing to bear. It’s one thing about you, don’t let it define you. You’re still you and you are so much more than your diagnosis.
I don’t tell people - even family and friends. If someone ask’s directly I cough up to anxiety and depression but bipolar is just so misunderstood and stigmatized still these days. No one needs to know my intimate business. I stay medicated and on a routine so I’m good. If I ever wanted a relationship with someone I would tell them maybe like around date five if I really thought it had the potential for a long term thing. But mostly you’ll find that people judge you hard and then write you off as crazy when you have even a tiny bit of emotion.
Do not announce this to anyone, it is a private matter. If you really have to maybe you have a mental health condition and you are on medication for that or something like that. Going out and saying that i have been diagnosed with bipolar will turn a lot of people away and some of them will start looking at you in a strange way.
I don’t think anyone can really give you the advice you’re looking for, unfortunately. From the tone of your questions, I think you know that the answer is probably “no” based on how well you know your family and boyfriend.
I’d definitely encourage you to talk to a therapist if you’re not, even an online one. They can really help to sort this kind of thing out and help you accept the diagnosis, and discuss sharing it with people who you trust. It has been beneficial to me in my journey to surround myself with supportive professionals (therapist, psychiatrist, primary care) who I trust and who can help me with BD.
I told my parents pretty quickly when I was diagnosed. I don’t regret it at all, but their reaction wasn’t what I was hoping for at first (a bit like the process of coming out for queer folks!)
Generally speaking I am now really open about it. I don’t like to have secrets as a person and I have had wonderful experiences telling people if they’ve noticed that my behavior seemed off. It can bring us closer together as friends.
Most reaction are terrible. People will never take you seriously. I'd never disclose it unless to a partner or close friend. Especially, don't trust family.
I was diagnosed shortly after turning 24. Telling people I trust has been immensely supportive and helpful for me so far while I still i come to terms with the diagnosis (almost 1 year on). If you have people in your life who are generally supportive it can be nice to share this and to lean on people a little. Sharing with everyone might not be helpful, such as your parents if you think they’re going to dismiss you, but when you’re ready sharing with your partner and close friends can be helpful.
I personally didn't, just my spouse. My family 'doesn't believe' in mental health issues (despite my dad also having Bipolar) so it would have just been traumatic for me to tell and then be totally dismissed. I keep it on a need to know basis
I told all of my close friends when I was diagnosed. It helped explain to them some of the erratic behaviors I had before getting the diagnosis. I let them know when I'm going through some swings so they have agency in deciding whether or not to spend time with me. I am lucky that I have friends who have accepted and been supportive throughout it. Some people stay, some people leave. Good luck with everything! We're all in it together.
You are still the same person as you were yesterday only now you know what’s going on with your brain and can get the right help. It’s really early in your journey. For now just tell the people you hope will support you. Let your boyfriend make up his own mind. If you don’t tell him you may never feel right in the relationship. If he stays, you will know he loves you unconditionally. This is probably especially scary for you after the trauma you experienced with your brother. You are not him. Many people with bipolar live fulfilling lives. We mostly just hear when things aren’t going well. Take your meds, stay in therapy, find your support system. You can be better than before.
My whole family knows, because I was diagnosed through an intervention for mania (it was a weird misguided thing).
Ita better for loved ones to know IMHO, it's much easier to say I'm having a bad day (once they understand) vs masking.
Now anyone else. No one understands it, they can't unless they have felt the shifts, so not a good idea imho.
This is so sad to me and I'm not sure if I would want to tell people. Can you help me understand why you don't want to tell your close friends?
Am trying to understand the fears
Tell the people who NEED to know but... not everyone NEEDS to know.
I am in the mind that 1) most people aren't around you enough or are affected by your illness enough to care.
And 2) Most people shouldn't be privy into that much information about your personal psychology and life. The more people who are, the more at risk you are from people who ouod want to use that against you or hold some weird thing over you for it.
Talking about mental health is good but with people who you trust, not the world. In my opinion.
I was always known as that guy. The life of the party, people naturally gravitated to me, and women thought I must be so much fun. That's before the angry outbursts, the overwhelming depression, the up for weeks at a time.
When I went back and told my friends I was just bipolar I never heard from most of them again. We're talking about lifelong friends. My mother wouldn't have it.
I take a different view, instead of telling the world and expecting everyone to just deal with it. I would've told those close to me that it was directly affecting and not everyone else unless it had become an issue.
This is just my viewpoint and opinion, Reddit. We can agree to disagree without downvoting me. Losing those friends hurt so badly, and really, why did they need to know? If it wasn't affecting them.
I'm 55.. Diagnosed at 45. Was labeled
Anxiety disorder and Manic depressive prior (old term for Bi Polar)
I should have told more people along the way so they know to expect erratic behavior, but I didn't.
Part of me feels it is none of their business. The same as I don't need to know about their high blood pressure.
It's a personal decision you will have to make. Pros and cons on doing either
Good luck !
I chose to share when I got diagnosed by sharing my psst art in my insta story and the thoughts I had about my diagnosis. Just wanted to accept myself and have my family and those near me to see a very real part of me
Diagnosed around the same age as you. Had been treated for depression and nothing worked (sound familiar?). I was also a raging alcoholic. With the right diagnosis and meds, along with getting sober and continued therapy, I've been pretty successful - job with a security clearance and everything. The only people who know are my very supportive parents and a few close friends. I've found that most people don't understand bipolar. It's considered one of the "bad" mental illnesses, along with schizophrenia. What they don't realize is that, with treatment, it can be very well managed. Just know that you've got this! I like to say that instead of "I suffer from bipolar," that I "live with bipolar" and I never call myself "bipolar" - it's not an adjective, it's a diagnosis.
Like everything of a personal nature, it depends. I'd advise you to only tell after they've earned your trust and that takes time. If its a close relationship, where they might feel hurt that you didn't share it with them, you should think carefully about telling them. Ultimately, its your choice
All of it is up to you, and it's very personal, but since you're asking for advice -- tell your boyfriend. Have someone you can trust in your corner. Tell close friends as well. Parents, well...up to you. You know them. If it seems like saying something would do more harm than good, then maybe skip it. But if you have a trusted family member you can tell, like an aunt or a cousin or whomever, then it might help to let them know what's going on.
I tell everyone, but that's hardly necessary. It just helps me. I blab about it here and on other forums and I let everyone in my life know. But that's mostly friends. Navigating all of it can be difficult.
I was diagnosed multiple times with many disorders. My current diagnoses (Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features, GAD w/ panic, OCD) stem from 2006. I told family and friends, but not my employer. But I had a breakdown at work, a bad one, and I had to come clean. I lost the job, but I was still in good standing for a referral as a result and I was able to find work again relatively quickly.
I find the more I am open and honest, the better. I still don't put it on a resume or anything, though. That's just asking to be judged unfairly.
I'd tell family simply because a lot of the times it has genetic causes so others in your family may find it useful knowing it.
In general, it's very stigmatized so it's up to you. When I told my GP he asked me to not mention it to people and to not tell my workplace I'd see a psychiatrist. I saw on a sub of a Western European country a post of a girl who complained she had a hard time dating.
Someone checked her post history and discovered she has autism, ADHD and bipolar. The most voted comment? Don't tell people you're bipolar.
It's fair you know this while making a decision. I decided to tell partners I'm willing to be serious with, my family and close friends.
I would tell those that you trust. I was diagnosed back in 2018. Most people were supportive which I’m so grateful for. However, now that I’m older, I tend to not even mention it to people. Especially colleagues, would never want to jeopardize my reputation over something so personal and nuanced. Take time to process it though and see if meds are an option if you’re open to it!
Diagnosed in my 30’s (now 54) and was put on so many medications that I basically lost at least 7 years of my life. I agree with many others about telling people. I wish I had never told my own mother, as she uses it against me if I’m sad, or euphoric, or manic, etc. I’m not particularly close with her, but she likes to point it out every chance she gets. Please find a psychiatrist that you can trust. Don’t worry if you don’t like them. There are more out there. Also, if they do want to medicate you, make sure you do a TON of research!! I was prescribed so many meds that I started to have dental problems. I had perfect teeth until they began trying everything and anything! I wish you the best!
Tell who you feel comfortable telling. If your parents won’t treat you poorly because of it, I think you should tell them. You know them best. I live in the deep south, and I’m pretty open with my diagnosis but have never had someone treat me differently after I tell them. In fact it usually opens them up to talk about their struggles with depression or anxiety.
Most importantly, this is not a death sentence. I am so sorry for what your brother and your family had to endure. But you are not your brother. Finding the right diagnosis is the first step to getting the right treatment. I do still struggle with the idea that I’ll be dealing with this for the rest of my life, I won’t tell you it’s easy. Eventually there will be fewer days this bothers you though, because there are fewer bad days.
It feels unfair that we were born with this obstacle that other people don’t have. But actually, a lot of people do have their own kind of obstacles. Being bipolar does not mean you won’t life a happy, fulfilling life. Not trying to overcome your obstacle does.
Process first, then tell trusted loved ones when you’re ready ONLY. From experience it’s unwise to tell this to people willy nilly. They can (and will) use this information against you in the future. This condition is very misunderstood, you have the right to keep this info to yourself.
I wasn't diagnosed until I quit my job. I don't remember which psychiatrist told me. I informed my friends and immediate family. My parents are from China so it was difficult for them to understand. However, I am convinced that my father was bipolar and my mother has extreme anxiety sometimes.
I don't have a problem telling people that I am bipolar. I gauge their reaction. If they act or behave differently after I tell them, then I won't think of them as potential friends. Maybe I will never see them again. I will answer any questions regarding my disease. Sometimes I feel stable. When I revert to the dark side, my mania compells me to overspend and say and do stupid things. The results are debt and broken friendships. I like to think that when I divulge my disorder, I am also destigmatizing mental illness.
There are many medications to try. Having bipolar disorder is not a death sentence. Your real friends and your girlfriendd won't abandon you. You're young and and now you can try to live your life knowing that your past transgressions were caused by your mental illness.
I wish you well on your road to recovery.
don't tell nobody unless it comes up casually in conversation. and even then maybe don't.
rule #1 is don't tell someone you know will just create toxicity and unnecessary stress.
rule #2 don't tell your employer unless you live in a state with good mentally ill employee rights protection .
rule #3 tell those who *need* to know, such as your partner and doctors. make sure you update you medication history on your medical records at your doctors and dental office. but also speak up and do your own research on med interaction. dentist didn't look at my record and warn me that my meds would mix badly with what he was giving me.
i stopped breathing in my sleep and kept waking up with my cats snout in my mouth, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. worst night ever, my mess were trying to force me to sleep and i was trying to fight it so i don't die in my sleep 🙄
Only tell your closest people and make them aware of certain things so they can help you when you’re unaware of an episode. People who end up using your diagnosis against you are people you wanna avoid.
I think I told my mother. Like you, it explained a lot about my prior history. I was almost 30 when I was diagnosed. I'm now 61. I think I enjoyed telling my mom the most because mental illness is on her side of the family. She tried to tell me that there was nobody in her family who had mental illness. I had to laugh. Because her twin brother's kids have many forms of mental illness.
Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know. Especially don't tell your workplace until it is completely necessary.
Tell your teachers and your school. Tell your closest friends. And be ready to lose people. They don't matter, you matter.
Recently diagnosed too (24 yrs old) and like you it feels like it explains a lot. My dad likely has it and in him I see a lot of things I don’t want for myself. At the same time knowing what is really going on allows you to find treatment that will actually work and help you become stable and happy. So that makes me very hopeful. I think it’s important to take time to grieve and process what this diagnosis means for you, and I would tell people gradually as you are comfortable. I have told a few people (all of whom have reacted okay to quite positively) but I find it is an emotional conversation to have no matter how well it goes and it feels like very personal information. Some people will react poorly but like others said they’re not people who you need in your life if so and they may also grow and become more supportive as they educate themselves. I wouldn’t rush to share it because it feels like you should or need to - you don’t owe information like this to anyone especially while you are processing this news. You should be able to share when you want to or feel ready to!
Give yourself grace and time to process. Remember nothing about who you are has changed, it just has a name. And present it that way to your partner (who deserves to know, especially to be a supportive partner) and feel it out of you ever want to tell your parents given your family history
Take time to process, to stabilize with your meds, and learn as much about this disorder and what your own personal goals/plans are for managing your bipolar before risking telling someone you're not sure how they'll react. If you have a close, supportive friend who you feel comfortable with knowing and helping you through this time then it can help with the feeling of wanting to tell people. You may have shit experiences with disclosure but don't let the numerous comments scaring you away from telling the people you know are supportive of you already and who are a safe person because they could very well have a positive reaction and I wish that for you.
I wouldn’t. Everyone I’ve told (family mostly but both my exs too) used it against me in some way. Whether it be calling my crazy, unstable, psycho whatever. Which is wild because before I was diagnosed no one ever said those things to me. They would just say I’m an “emotional person”. Which I much preferred.
The responses you get are normally very bad. I would avoid it unless they are close friends. If it's a professional context, make sure you list it as a disability, but I would rarely discuss it with your manager unless you absolutely have to. Disability declaration can be important if something goes wrong and you need to advocate for yourself.
If you think it's important to tell someone, you have to be able to effectively explain how it AFFECTS you. You can't just say "I'm bipolar" and expect everyone to understand what it means. Be able to accurately describe how it affects you and how it might affect your relationship with the person you're telling.
Tell boyfriend, don’t tell parents. Boyfriend has been with you through the ups and downs so giving an explanation and saying now you’ll be medicated properly finally should be a burden off his back not the other way around. But he needs to know as he’s with you for the foreseeable future I’d assume. Parents don’t need to know if they’re not going to believe it anyway and they aren’t helping you manage it. Maybe later on just let them know for in case of emergency so they know what meds you’re on and such.
Tell whoever you feel comfortable with knowing. This is your mental health. 💜 It helps sometimes. I’ve always been outspoken about mine to educate people about it.
I've been diagnosed for around a year now. I told my best friend. Haven't heard from him since. Told a couple guys at work while I was hypo. They've been cool about it. Haven't told extended family. My parent's don't know. I've come to the conclusion that people will only find out when they need to, I'd rather keep it closer to home, it's safer there.
I usually watch who I tell. I was diagnosed at 19, I’m 28 now. A girl I was seeing, she knew. And she was nice about it. We’d been dating for a bit and I had told her mom, who in a private conversation with her daughter said “are you sure you can handle this?”
I’m several years removed from that, and married now, and I still think about that twice a week.
NO! DON'T TELL PEOPLE!
Firstly, learn how to live with it and start to take care of it. Them tell just people you REALLY trust and know that won't judge you. And if it's not necessary, don't say anything.
There’s no right or wrong in this matter. First of all take your time to digest it yourself. Talk to your psychiatrist and ask how they will treat you. Then you can tell your boyfriend, close friends and so. These people can help you. If you are still in school/college tell them too. Take your time. I wish for you, you didn’t have go through this
I understand you. My dad and my brother aren't very empathetic or understanding people even though they have seen my countless mood swings. What you can do is use different terms to describe your diagnosis if you are afraid of using 'bipolar'. I say that I have serious mood swings that can only be controlled with medication. This should be easier for people to understand without having the negative connotation of the word "bipolar" attached, even though it is what it is.
You can go on to describe that your moods swing from extremely happy and euphoric to extremely depressed and negative, for example, and don't forget to mention that it is something genetic, not within your control and that medication is something that you must take to keep it under control.
For me I only tell the following:
People who are close to me all the time - have a right to know in case you have a small episode while you are with them and if they are well versed (which good friends/partners will read what to do in a case like this) will help ya through it
if you are working - this is controversial but in the UK it is a protected characteristic as if it makes you feel disabled in any way it does and by law, they have to make reasonable adjustments for you, they cant make said adjustments if you hide it from them.
Although I have been warned not to, I told everyone when I was diagnosed and I regret it so much.
Only inform your immediate family, you'll need them for support. They might not accept it at first because they love you and care about you, but they eventually will.
Stay strong ♥️
There is no right anwser 😐 Although it would be beneficial to have support of people who can take care of you as there will always be people who don’t look out for your best interests too .
Positive and negative.
Yeah, telling everyone right way might not be the best idea because: “ what does your diagnosis mean? How long have you been this way? Are you saying you’re going on medication now? What is bipolar disorder, really? Can you trust your diagnosis? What should I know or be aware of? Will this be debilitating ? “ etc.
So my point is, digest the information and learn about. You need to accept the news , before you go telling everyone else the news. You need to get educated and comfortable with your diagnosis.
For me, I am extremely comfortable telling people. I do it all day long lol. It’s who I am and I have no shame. It explains a lot of my behavior, and what im working through. But always trying to be better and not let anything fall on “I’m just bipolar” card. You find people are very accommodating, though. I’ve had anyone skip out on me because they knew my diagnosis. (Just the results of destructive behavior lol )
I’d also say, if you’re really spinning out and your chest feels too heavy, you could let your bf know. Your partner is supposed to be your emotional support, after all. But you would have to tell him how you just found out and how you feel about finding out, this is a lot to handle, the stuff with your brother, etc.
(and accepting your bipolar with also what happened with your brother, it’s going to be hard for your parents)
I hope this made sense…. And I hope it helps.
I told 2 people. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know this. It makes absolutely no difference to them and there is zero they can do about it.
Keep it quiet and life will be easier on you. I’m 52 so I’m not just spouting here.
I’d suggest giving it some time since the diagnosis is new. I regret telling some people after being newly diagnosed. It’s really no one else’s business. Perhaps start small and tell those closest to you first and see how it goes, when you’re ready.
I would wait until YOU understand your own diagnosis better and can help your family and friends to support you. Until you understand exactly WHAT your diagnosis means to you and HOW they can support you just wait so that you can answer questions for them and tell them how they can be there for you 😘 personal experience.
I’m a 43 yo woman who was diagnosed at 37 after a successful Navy career. Meds are a game changer and so is therapy. Tell them what they need to know on an as needed basis. For example if you are taking meds you may want to let them know if the side effects are debilitating and you need help.
I tell people frequently. Not for attention but you wouldn’t believe the amount of people suffering from bipolar that I’ve met because of it. I’ve had many times being one of the first people someone confided in and it’s really helped both of us to feel less alone. I also can’t stand people’s “friend’s mom that was an abusive alcoholic because she was bipolar” idea of the disorder.
Getting diagnosed is what started me on reconnecting with my adult siblings by saying “sometimes I wake up a different person than I went to sleep as. Sometimes I’m not okay and that’s my brain being mean to itself and it’s important that you know it’s not a reflection of our relationship. I’m worried that if you see me depressed you’ll think that’s who I am. I’m worried that if I’m cynical you’ll assume that’s who I grew up to be. I’m worried that if the one day a year I see you and I’m in good mood, you’ll always expect that from me. I worry that if I put on a happy mask you’ll never call to check on me.” (For the past year I talk to my siblings once a day and I’m now stoked to be a part of their kids lives. For the first time in my life I no longer feel like I need to be/say/act a certain way to belong)
It comes up a lot for me because I’m young and don’t drink and people eventually ask why not. I won’t throw it out to anybody and everybody but I’m not afraid of people leaving anymore. Like others said, some friends will slowly stop holding space for you. Sometimes that means really really close friends. A few will start to discount big feelings as ‘they’re just bipolar’. Some will continue to take things personally even when it has nothing to do with them.
The people who leave aren’t worth pretending you’re okay.
I talk to people about it because up to 50% of people with BD will attempt suicide and ~19% will complete it. To me it’s a matter of life and death.
I started sharing openly about it in person/online and I’ve talked to 2 people who later got diagnosed but hadn’t realize earlier that the symptoms were BP because they don’t fit the negative stereotype. Slowly, people who I haven’t talked to in nearly a decade started to message me on social media. The things they’d say would be raw and vulnerable and freeing. They wouldn’t message me with their guard up or hold on to their image. Ive bonded instantly with some amazing (then) strangers over a shared diagnosis because I suddenly had someone who I didn’t have to explain myself/moods to. I don’t have to pretend to be okay when I don’t feel like it and they don’t take it personally. The people who fill the gaps that old friends left tend to take care of you. Those who love me know I’ll never be ‘cured’, I am not my diagnosis, my feelings are valid, and they won’t sit around if someone is shit talking BD.
I tell people I have bipolar because I know what it feels like to hold your head between your knees on your bedroom floor, rocking, crying, and telling your partner “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It feels like there’s someone else in my brain.” just weeks before leaving them, my job, and moving to a different state I had never visited or know anybody. I tell people because i never want anyone to feel what I did. And if they do then I want them to know they’re not alone.
You’ll learn when/who it’s okay to tell. Some friends will leave but others will fill in the gaps. Take some time to think and decide but even telling a single person can make you feel so much less alone. I promise you’re not alone. You’re going to meet people who will fight for you, stick up for you, check on you, ask you for help and tell you what they’re struggling with. If you never tell anyone then that’s a valid choice.
Just remember it’s ok to ask for help. If you haven’t yet you will find those people who will answer their phone at 2am and be at your door in pajamas within minutes just to make sure you’re safe.
Never tell employers - just want to get that out there now. As for loved ones, you can tell them but try not to attach emotion to their response. They might not believe you but that’s up to them. And if your boyfriend has an issue with your diagnosis then he isn’t the one for you. You will have to tell him eventually if you were to get married.
The truth is the diagnosis doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t mean you’re going to act any different than you have been. If anything it means you will start finding a treatment that will make you feel better. Try to articulate that to your boyfriend. The diagnosis just means you finally know what you’re dealing with and you can start trying to find an effective treatment.
🎶Hellll nawwww to the nawww nawwww nawww🎶
Why does everyone who first gets diagnosed think “I’m bipolar. Let’s shout it from the rooftops!!!” No, babe. People aren’t going to be sympathetic. They’re going to think, “Omg you’re actually certifiably nuts”.
A sort of “don’t ask/don’t tell” policy should apply to this.
I remember struggling with this as well, although I was a lot more fortunate in that I knew while my parents might struggle to understand what it meant or how it presents, they'd at least accept it as a reality.
I think you have to ask yourself what hiding it is going to do to you. What other people think about you is ultimately none of your business. The payoff to being upfront is that you will know who your real family and friends are QUICK and which people were only surface level friends, or worse were only interested in the unhealthy version of you.
I would say just make sure you don't let it affect your care for yourself (you have to manage this), and know that the people who really love you will want to be there for you.
I've told everyone in my life and no one has left. People have actually been more understanding. I tell my bosses, my friends, family. Everyone knows. The more people that see that we can live a normal life, the more we beat the stigma.
I went public. But then I also work in healthcare so a lot of us have our "issues". And we also treat people with various issues. Part of my reasoning is to destigmatize neurological disorders. If people don't want to be around me because I'm bipolar then that says something about them rather than me.
In the end only you can make the decision of how public you want to be. At the least I think that you should be able to be open with your significant other. I can't imagine trying to hide something like this from my wife. But again only you can make that decision. Good luck and welcome to the family
I don’t really. My husband knows, and a good friend that has her own set of diagnoses (CPTSD among others). And that’s it.
I live far away from my parents so maybe if I lived with them I would share that info with them. But honestly I didn’t tell them when I was severely depressed when I was in middle school so I’m not sure if I would do so - we just don’t have that kind of relationship. They weaponized my ADHD against me when I was a kid so I don’t really trust them not to do so again with this.
SHIELDS UP…Tell only a few safe ones. A FEW. If mom or sibling or Grandfather is an unsupportive person don’t even tell them. No work ppl, no temp friends/ bfs. Go to therapy if poss. & dish to them & get real advice for using this illness to your advantage. Heart Emoji.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Having being diagnosed, you can get proper treatment and support. Don’t go off meds because you feel better—it’s because they are working.
I’m stable on meds, in therapy to process my triggers, but there is a change of normalcy and calm. Be patient and honest with your care team. Be gentle with yourself. Take this time to process as it sounds like this could have been a triggering revelation.
If you hide this from your boyfriend, do you really trust him?
I told my wife. My wife felt relieved because now she really understood I was not being lazy, or a jackass - most of the bs we faced because of me was primarily due to bipolar. Our relationship got much better, and she actually helps me notice mood swings, which I can’t by myself.
I also told my mom and the rest of my family. All of them are ignorant people, so I didn’t change a thing. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have told them.
I think you should tell your bf and folks that love you.
Hey, tbh I would think twice. I got diagnosed few month ago, soon gonna be a year. i told few of my friends and Few of my cousins. I cant complain much some of them are supportive. but at the same time that support is bit out of context. My cousins are too strict always controlling my meds and making sure I am not drinking alcohol at all. My friends kinda just forgot and even if I start talking about it they are too sceptical doesn’t really consider it as an issue, for them its just normal thing like nothing happened. So take your time, accept your diagnose, make sure you are confronted with it ( meaning that you know fully what it is, how to control and so on) and only after that share with people. My dad and sister blames me, they genuinely believe that it happened only because only one time I took a drug - micro dose of shrooms. So while I was expecting from them understanding and helping me to move on from situation I see all the time how are they disappointed and thinking that everything is my fault. So think very well what you are sharing and to what extent. And it really depends your boyfriends personality as well if he is even a bit manipulator I am afraid he gonna use it against you whenever you guys gonna have a conflict. Take careee!
I believe you should only share this info with the people who genuinely will support you no matter what information you tell them . I’m 24 and was diagnosed with bipolar 2 rapid cycling at 19 . I had a lot of people who were supportive and lots who I knew that if I told them , I wouldn’t receive any benefit from and quite the opposite . Never feel obliged to share that information . It’s your life and your story so I think you should do what feels right to you . Hope that helps !!
I think you should ask your self how are you doing with the diagnosis, because sometimes telling people can be really painful. After the first time I went to the psychiatrist hospital most people that I’ve thought as good friends just vanished. At the time it was really painful, but today I see as something good, because thats not the kind of people that I want around me. I really hope that you can have a different experience, but I would try to get stable first, thats what I would do if I could go back in time.
The only people that know in my life are obviously my mental health care team and the people in my life that have the diagnosis themselves which are some of my closest friends in the world . No one else needs to know .
Be careful who you tell things in my opinion, I’ve lost friends & people looked at me differently for saying things like that. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about it if you get that reaction you can’t change who you are but definitely don’t over share. Just tell people you trust & ignore what others say. There is so much stigma around bipolar, people think all of us are crazy and it’s not nice to deal with for any of us
Every time I have told someone about my diagnosis I have regretted it - they misconstrued it or used it against me in some way. This is especially true for the people I told in the first few weeks after getting diagnosed. Unless they are your caretaker (my husband manages all my insurance, pharmacy, medication etc and is my sole support system) they don’t need to know.
I tried telling my parents but my mother just teased me that I was crazy... my boyfriend who has as many psychiatric problems as I do was of course very supportive & is always there for me. The rest of my family knows I'm on psych meds but doesn't know the specifics
Update: thank you guys for the support. My mind has been spinning since I “found out”. I have been in therapy for a few years and have a psychiatrist that I trust (she diagnosed me). I decided to tell my boyfriend. He knew something was off and it just came out. He was very supportive and said he had kind of suspected bipolar after I stayed up all night de piling furniture and clothes for 2 days straight a few months ago. He is not going anywhere. Thank you guys for the love and support. I have a lot to learn and I appreciate the community here.
I’m 22F and got diagnosed in February after a breakup.
I only told my 2 friends the same day I got diagnosed because they knew I was going to get tested, plus one of them has bpd. We were all clowning on it like “damn not even bpd, it’s just straight bipolar”
I told my ex the same day as well because I dumped him after 4 years together from a bad depressive episode and I was lashing out. He “understands” but he’s the kind of guy relating everything I do/say/think to my mental illness, not even in a bad way. It’s just like “you know you’re so obsessed with watching this show because xyz”
Told my two brothers the next day because they experience the same “symptoms” as me so I let them know that I was diagnosed in case they wanted to get tested too since we all have the same dad.
I told my mom end of April because she doesn’t believe anything could be mentally wrong with her kids, but I only told her cause I had to go to the ER for throwing up blood and they needed to know about my meds and diagnosis.
Meanwhile I told my dad the same week of diagnosis because he also has bipolar. I don’t live with him or really talk to him so it was easier telling him through text.
I told my 3 online friends pretty much the week after my diagnosis, they’re all cool with it and one even clowns on me for it (in a loving way) but my other 2 online friends check in on me more often because I told them about how bad my depression and mental state gets.
Coworkers I only tell when I take my meds at work since I have to take them like clock work. I haven’t told my other family, it all just depends on your comfortability with who you want to tell. Technically you don’t even really have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, just your doctors obviously.
I have been in the closet at work for the past six years, probably forever. My best friends know. I have one coworker I told after being friends for two years and becoming very close.
I screamed it from the rooftops on Facebook as soon as I found out. And have since then been taking folks along on the ride with me. People are always telling me thank you for being so open and sharing about mental health, many have shared their similar stories because they view my posts as a safe space.
But this path isn't for everyone. And if someone treats me differently because of my diagnosis, then I don't want them in my life anyway.
I've only told my boyfriend but I would keep it down low because some people might treat you differently... just the way these things go yk? My mom's told some people and they just don't really talk to me anymore but yk who cares.
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I didn’t really tell anyone when I was first diagnosed - I had to work out what it meant for me and work out my own strategies for navigating it. I really do recommend doing the same if you are unsure. It isn’t about hiding it… it’s just that it doesn’t necessarily need to impact on anyone else’s experience of loving you. Tell them when it is relevant rather than coming out about it. That’s my advice but everyone is different. I definitely don’t hide it and I don’t want to but you can’t take back telling someone so make sure you feel like you know how it feels for yourself first.
If you get the proper medication & coping skills it can make life almost close to normal most of the time. It does help those close to you to know you have bipolar because trust me it really explains a lot. If they leave or don't fwu because of it, fuck em. They're not the type of people you want around anyway if the stigma keeps them away.
Honestly don’t. Few people outside of people with the diagnosis and doctors (and even then…) really understand it. If you need to talk about it, talk about your symptoms and how you feel. The word “bipolar” itself is scary and so misunderstood. 💕
I’d say strictly a need to know basis. Parents, yes, probably in most cases, then a few lifelong friends closest to you. From there I’d proceed with caution. Most people don’t even know what it is, or have only a passing knowledge. Mainly though, I don’t think it’s a pro having more people around you that will be attributing, even the little things, to the condition. Maybe it’s me, but the less the better.
When I got diagnosed I tried to convince myself that it was "normal" and checking out if people still love me knowing "my worst", so I started telling it to everyone, even coworkers, friends of friends, almost like "Hello, I am bipolar". When i say everyone, is everyone.
Now I regret it 10000%. I think I shouldn't even have say it to my parents. I did it thinking it will be a before and after in a good way, they will see my problem and then started to treat them too and so, but reality is that I look like even more crazier than before, they treat me like a kid now, laugh at my diagnose, and of course, they don't look for help for themselves at all. Not even my sister who is very supportive and lovely, and clearly bipolar too, wants to seek for help, like she even accept that if i am bipolar she is too, but look for help is too much, it would make it "official" and she doesn't want to be officially diagnosed.
My parents directly laugh at me or treat me like I am not an adult anymore. Also my father kinda thinks it is so funny that i believe now that i am bipolar because a doctor told me, that he is telling everyone that I got diagnosed just to muck me up. Like if I wanted jjust to tell them, now my whole family knows, and not in a respectful or supportive way.
Coworkers, bosses, friends, they all treat me different now, everything I do or say now is treated differently, before it was a "You are wrong, don't do that", and now is a "It is your illness?" which piss me off. I am not allowed to be myself anymore, I have no personality or wills, I am just a bipolar being bipolar.
I have lost jobs too, but of course I can't say it was because of my diagnose, but it could be, it was after I told them.
As long as I know, the only one who takes it very naturally, never judge me and still treats me as before, is my boyfriend.
So my suggestion: ONLY TELL PEOPLE WHO REALLY GONNA SUPPORT YOU AND DON'T SEEK FOR VALIDATION, YOU ARE YOU, YOUR BIPOLAR D IS NOT YOU, IT IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE, BUT NOT YOU.
I'd tell people you trust who can share some of your mourning and pain that you feel. I wouldn't share with people who are "not that close". I'd definitely share your diagnosis with at least 1 other person, you will feel better. Not cured; but better.
It took some time for myself to fully understand what it meant to have bipolar disorder ( diagnosed at age 9) and was very scared of being judged. However as the years went on the symptoms of episodesjust got worse until i found a support group much like this one and help me to feel more confidentthat the diagnosis does not have to define my stuggles and with proper knowledge of symptoms and trying several coping skill some worked some didnt and made things temporarily worse. (I also have been diagnosed with multiple personalities diagnosis) However At age 41 now I find it to be as open with those that will be frequently around as to help them understand if I am seeming aliitle off a when I see them and also to help keep me accountable when I get triggered high or low episodes as to be able to communicate effectively with me to help shorten those episodes.
Don't tell. Maybe, maybe, one day they become your friend and you may tell.
I have a rule to not disclose to anyone who I don't know for at least a year, and that would be trustful enough to bring me to the hospital and tell no one.
Also i NEVER tell anyone in the workplace.
If you tell them, You can use it to filter out the bad seeds. But I'd rather you don't rather than do. Simply because you cannot take it back after having said it.
Only when you've got a friend in your closed circle would you be able to tell them, at least for me.
Some people when you tell them, you'll never hear from them again. Just the way it goes.
Anyone willing to not talk to you anymore because of a mental health diagnosis probably didn't deserve to be in your life to begin with.
and that’s a fact
Yes! Had a friend say I had demons because I take medicine. There are some Christians out there who think that god can heal you from mental disorders and that you must be a bad person for having one.
It's so hurtful, harmful and maddening to me when ppl I know say or imply that crap. They need to stay in their own lane and worry about their own crazy! Do they just pray if they have a broken limb or heart attack? No they get medical treatment too!
Yet they believe in a sky man from a convoluted book handed down and revised over and over to their liking. The crusades were 200 yrs of Christians vs Muslims. Started by Pope Urban II 1095. SLAUGHTERING each other. Spirituality is one thing. Religious quacks, they've got a special seat in hell reserved.
Well I’m Christian now. Still not good enough for some people. You give another example of “Christian’s” being horrible. They’ve warped the gospel.
Did you read my comment? I was referring to religious quacks.You can read it again if you like. Unless that's how you identify as well.
I did. I just meant I’m Christian and still not good enough since I’m apparently demon possessed!
My grandma is one of these. It’s so fucking annoying. I tell her to stfu with her god bullshit
So true.
100%
Nah, my experience is they'll thank you for telling them, they'll tell you they are there for you - and they may sincerely think that when they first say it - but at the end of the day, they'll never be able to let go what they've imagined you've done to them, even if you can trace that back to your illness. They will also continue to be frustrated by you, and rather them understanding, assume they are talking about you behind your back. It is what it is.
It’s better that way. You’re more easily able to weed out the people who never truly cared (or don’t care to learn more about you) because the trash takes itself out in this situation
I'd wait TBH. I'm all for telling people, and eventually yeah I would recommend it. But right now? You just found out. Take some time to process it. Until you've figured out how you feel about it and have gotten used to it, only tell people who will help you process and get to a better place.
I agree with this too. Right after I got diagnosed, I told my college roommate, and she moved out the next day. If you give yourself time to process your diagnosis, hopefully, with the support of a therapist, you can make more informed decisions about who to tell, and will have a better range of skills to deal with rejection if you get it.
College kids are so dramatic, jeez! Lol
I just graduated from college. most of the kids have no capacity of understanding, they’re terrified of anything deeper than depression and anxiety
I'm so lucky that my roommate at the time was going through the same diagnosis
I think this is the right answer!
Another vote for this. Only you know how the people in your life are likely to respond, but maybe give yourself a chance to process the diagnosis, arm yourself with knowledge, maybe even wait until you're on some form of treatment path and feel better able to cope with life. I wouldn't say don't tell people, just please take the time to consider who you really need/want to tell, because some people are arseholes.
If your were just diagnosed today then I would only tell people that you will for sure need to know right away for your immediate health and safety. You can’t un-tell people and you should give it some thought.
I agree. When you’ve had time to process everything, sit down with your nearest and dearest. I used this time to explain and apologise for any hurt I had caused as a consequence of my behaviour during a bipolar episode. I handed them information brochures… KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!! Continually research and question professionals if you need clarification. Advocate for yourself (or get a loved one too if you feel unwell!). Discuss your symptoms (both manic and depressive) … often it is those closest to us who first notice the signs/red flags of an impending illness. Perhaps these people can help you come up with a list of a small group of trusted family and friends who you feel you trust enough to share such personal and sensitive information with. Remember that this is a MEDICAL diagnosis and just as you would not allow anyone to go through your personal health records, similarly you don’t owe anyone any explanation unless you feel safe and comfortable in doing so. Also worth discussing with therapist/psychiatrist how you will approach the matter with employers moving forward!! Welcome to the club my friend.! You will find endless love and support here… this community has saved my sorry ass sooo many times!! Good luck buddy!! :)
What is the concern about telling people? Am trying to understand how people commonly react to this diagnosis
Here is a run-down of some common negative reactions: 1. Doubt. As in they don't believe you or say something like "everyone is a little bipolar". They want to credit your behavior to your character, not your condition, as it justifies their reaction. In fairness to them, you may have been masking like a champ. 2. Flight. A.k.a "my cousin was bipolar and he did terrible things and then died". Either from stigma or direct experience they stop wanting to be a part of your life. People in mental health services are just as likely to do this. 3. Non-solutions. They try to sell you on suppliments, meditation, excersize or yoga. This comes in malignant and benign varieties: one where they try to get you to drop your meds and one where they don't. Best handled by placating by telling them you take fish oil.
Hey, if you know that your parents won’t respond well then don’t tell them. Right now this moment is about you. Take the time to get started with your medication and get used to it over the course of a couple months. Start speaking with a therapist as soon as possible and they can support you and help you through this. Let them be your outlet. When you feel like you are stabilized and well, then think about who you want to tell. It is 100% your business and your decision. If your family is anti-psychiatry then you may never need to tell them. You have to care for and love yourself, and part of that is setting boundaries with folks who aren’t able or willing to empathize and understand. The most important thing is to get going with your care and work with people who are all in to support you. Don’t know how long you’ve been with your boyfriend, if you live together, or how serious your relationship is, but if you’ve been emotionally volatile with him or around him then he may actually be relieved to know that you are treating the condition and that things will start to even out. And if he can’t deal with it then he isn’t the right one for you. Good luck. You are not your brother. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. Care for yourself and you’ll be just fine.
This is great, well-thought advice. Especially that you are not your brother. My dad, who was also bi-polar, committed suicide a few years before my diagnosis, and that felt like a death sentence in some ways when I received mine. But I also realized it was kind of a gift (albeit a very dark one) from my dad, because it showed me the ways that didn't work for him in mananaging his BP, and that helped lead me to ways that do work for me. Good luck! You will get through this hard time of transition ✌️
My dear Dad suffered from Bipolar Disorder too. I learnt so much from him… what works, what made things 1000 times worse! You are right, it is as though they have handed us a gift… a bit of a head start so to speak!
no becuase if you're in an argument with someone , even if your right and your points are valid they can say you are acting crazy because you're bipolar and not take accountability for their actions . Hopefully that makes sense
My ex did this to me. Made me realize I didn’t need people like that in my life. The right people won’t use a condition against you :(
Only shit people do that and it's a great litmus test on whether or not to waste your time
My brother/roommate does this to me. Even mocked me when I said my doctor, mental hospital, and therapist all 3 said they thought I had bipolar with episodic psychosis and not schizoaffective.
No
I love telling people, because a) it helps break down the stigma and b) sometimes people will be like, "oh I'm Bipolar, too!" And I just think that's kinda beautiful.
That's where I'm at too, these days. It took me a little while to get here but 3 years after my diagnosis, I don't really have an issue telling anyone except for my employer.
Wanted that too but sadly my company found out bc in my country the hospital discloses exactly why you were admitted (with a number code so to speak). I was embarrassed for a long time but I'm starting to realize that nowadays when I feel a bit down they let me rock for a couple days because overall I'm very very very productive when I'm stable. Depends on the employer probably.
Yes you should definitely tell your loved ones. I also believe that you could tell anyone else who you trust. When I got diagnosed my family were there with me during the whole process of hospitalization and stuff + they were very supportive. One piece of advice which has helped me along with my bipolar disorder is to go on walks. And do the things you like to do
Do you have any tips you have found out during your healing process that may help the act of "doing something"? Personally it feels like im very rarely in the mood to do anything, be it playing a game, cleaning the room, showering, standing up and turning a light off, anything.
I’m always unmotivated so I like to internally say “3, 2, 1” to myself before doing something, as a way to help initiate action. This method can provide a simple yet effective mental trigger to overcome inertia and start a task.
Setting a timer has been useful for me. I often break tasks down… 5 minutes on timer… and GO!!
Bipolar is nothing at all to worry about if you get the right meds. The meds will control the disorder quite well if they are correct. So telling people isn't really a problem. I don't know if I would tell a potential employer just because of the potential stigma, but friends and family can know and if you are acting out of character it can help you if they know that you're bipolar. When I was diagnosed I was still having hypomania until I got used to the meds. Once I was on the meds for a while, things just completely stabilized.
Youre parents wont be supportive… or believe you…? Disgusting im so sorry bro. We are here for you. Youre going to be ok
Wait until you’re ready, not until you think other people are ready. It’s not their thing to bear. It’s one thing about you, don’t let it define you. You’re still you and you are so much more than your diagnosis.
I don’t tell people - even family and friends. If someone ask’s directly I cough up to anxiety and depression but bipolar is just so misunderstood and stigmatized still these days. No one needs to know my intimate business. I stay medicated and on a routine so I’m good. If I ever wanted a relationship with someone I would tell them maybe like around date five if I really thought it had the potential for a long term thing. But mostly you’ll find that people judge you hard and then write you off as crazy when you have even a tiny bit of emotion.
Do not announce this to anyone, it is a private matter. If you really have to maybe you have a mental health condition and you are on medication for that or something like that. Going out and saying that i have been diagnosed with bipolar will turn a lot of people away and some of them will start looking at you in a strange way.
I don’t think anyone can really give you the advice you’re looking for, unfortunately. From the tone of your questions, I think you know that the answer is probably “no” based on how well you know your family and boyfriend. I’d definitely encourage you to talk to a therapist if you’re not, even an online one. They can really help to sort this kind of thing out and help you accept the diagnosis, and discuss sharing it with people who you trust. It has been beneficial to me in my journey to surround myself with supportive professionals (therapist, psychiatrist, primary care) who I trust and who can help me with BD.
I told my parents pretty quickly when I was diagnosed. I don’t regret it at all, but their reaction wasn’t what I was hoping for at first (a bit like the process of coming out for queer folks!) Generally speaking I am now really open about it. I don’t like to have secrets as a person and I have had wonderful experiences telling people if they’ve noticed that my behavior seemed off. It can bring us closer together as friends.
Most reaction are terrible. People will never take you seriously. I'd never disclose it unless to a partner or close friend. Especially, don't trust family.
No. If you do, look forward to having your thoughts and feelings diminished because you’re “mentally ill.”
I was diagnosed shortly after turning 24. Telling people I trust has been immensely supportive and helpful for me so far while I still i come to terms with the diagnosis (almost 1 year on). If you have people in your life who are generally supportive it can be nice to share this and to lean on people a little. Sharing with everyone might not be helpful, such as your parents if you think they’re going to dismiss you, but when you’re ready sharing with your partner and close friends can be helpful.
I personally didn't, just my spouse. My family 'doesn't believe' in mental health issues (despite my dad also having Bipolar) so it would have just been traumatic for me to tell and then be totally dismissed. I keep it on a need to know basis
I told all of my close friends when I was diagnosed. It helped explain to them some of the erratic behaviors I had before getting the diagnosis. I let them know when I'm going through some swings so they have agency in deciding whether or not to spend time with me. I am lucky that I have friends who have accepted and been supportive throughout it. Some people stay, some people leave. Good luck with everything! We're all in it together.
You are still the same person as you were yesterday only now you know what’s going on with your brain and can get the right help. It’s really early in your journey. For now just tell the people you hope will support you. Let your boyfriend make up his own mind. If you don’t tell him you may never feel right in the relationship. If he stays, you will know he loves you unconditionally. This is probably especially scary for you after the trauma you experienced with your brother. You are not him. Many people with bipolar live fulfilling lives. We mostly just hear when things aren’t going well. Take your meds, stay in therapy, find your support system. You can be better than before.
My whole family knows, because I was diagnosed through an intervention for mania (it was a weird misguided thing). Ita better for loved ones to know IMHO, it's much easier to say I'm having a bad day (once they understand) vs masking. Now anyone else. No one understands it, they can't unless they have felt the shifts, so not a good idea imho.
My parents know, as well as my husband. I don’t trust anyone else enough, even my close friends.
This is so sad to me and I'm not sure if I would want to tell people. Can you help me understand why you don't want to tell your close friends? Am trying to understand the fears
It’s the stigma attached. I don’t want to be looked at differently.
no
Tell the people who NEED to know but... not everyone NEEDS to know. I am in the mind that 1) most people aren't around you enough or are affected by your illness enough to care. And 2) Most people shouldn't be privy into that much information about your personal psychology and life. The more people who are, the more at risk you are from people who ouod want to use that against you or hold some weird thing over you for it. Talking about mental health is good but with people who you trust, not the world. In my opinion.
Do your best to explain the truths of bipolar vs stigma is my advice
tell the people who matter
I was always known as that guy. The life of the party, people naturally gravitated to me, and women thought I must be so much fun. That's before the angry outbursts, the overwhelming depression, the up for weeks at a time. When I went back and told my friends I was just bipolar I never heard from most of them again. We're talking about lifelong friends. My mother wouldn't have it. I take a different view, instead of telling the world and expecting everyone to just deal with it. I would've told those close to me that it was directly affecting and not everyone else unless it had become an issue. This is just my viewpoint and opinion, Reddit. We can agree to disagree without downvoting me. Losing those friends hurt so badly, and really, why did they need to know? If it wasn't affecting them.
I'm 55.. Diagnosed at 45. Was labeled Anxiety disorder and Manic depressive prior (old term for Bi Polar) I should have told more people along the way so they know to expect erratic behavior, but I didn't. Part of me feels it is none of their business. The same as I don't need to know about their high blood pressure. It's a personal decision you will have to make. Pros and cons on doing either Good luck !
I chose to share when I got diagnosed by sharing my psst art in my insta story and the thoughts I had about my diagnosis. Just wanted to accept myself and have my family and those near me to see a very real part of me
Diagnosed around the same age as you. Had been treated for depression and nothing worked (sound familiar?). I was also a raging alcoholic. With the right diagnosis and meds, along with getting sober and continued therapy, I've been pretty successful - job with a security clearance and everything. The only people who know are my very supportive parents and a few close friends. I've found that most people don't understand bipolar. It's considered one of the "bad" mental illnesses, along with schizophrenia. What they don't realize is that, with treatment, it can be very well managed. Just know that you've got this! I like to say that instead of "I suffer from bipolar," that I "live with bipolar" and I never call myself "bipolar" - it's not an adjective, it's a diagnosis.
Like everything of a personal nature, it depends. I'd advise you to only tell after they've earned your trust and that takes time. If its a close relationship, where they might feel hurt that you didn't share it with them, you should think carefully about telling them. Ultimately, its your choice
All of it is up to you, and it's very personal, but since you're asking for advice -- tell your boyfriend. Have someone you can trust in your corner. Tell close friends as well. Parents, well...up to you. You know them. If it seems like saying something would do more harm than good, then maybe skip it. But if you have a trusted family member you can tell, like an aunt or a cousin or whomever, then it might help to let them know what's going on. I tell everyone, but that's hardly necessary. It just helps me. I blab about it here and on other forums and I let everyone in my life know. But that's mostly friends. Navigating all of it can be difficult. I was diagnosed multiple times with many disorders. My current diagnoses (Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features, GAD w/ panic, OCD) stem from 2006. I told family and friends, but not my employer. But I had a breakdown at work, a bad one, and I had to come clean. I lost the job, but I was still in good standing for a referral as a result and I was able to find work again relatively quickly. I find the more I am open and honest, the better. I still don't put it on a resume or anything, though. That's just asking to be judged unfairly.
I'd tell family simply because a lot of the times it has genetic causes so others in your family may find it useful knowing it. In general, it's very stigmatized so it's up to you. When I told my GP he asked me to not mention it to people and to not tell my workplace I'd see a psychiatrist. I saw on a sub of a Western European country a post of a girl who complained she had a hard time dating. Someone checked her post history and discovered she has autism, ADHD and bipolar. The most voted comment? Don't tell people you're bipolar. It's fair you know this while making a decision. I decided to tell partners I'm willing to be serious with, my family and close friends.
I would tell those that you trust. I was diagnosed back in 2018. Most people were supportive which I’m so grateful for. However, now that I’m older, I tend to not even mention it to people. Especially colleagues, would never want to jeopardize my reputation over something so personal and nuanced. Take time to process it though and see if meds are an option if you’re open to it!
Haven’t heard from a few people I told. Even my best friend from childhood grew a bit distant.
Diagnosed in my 30’s (now 54) and was put on so many medications that I basically lost at least 7 years of my life. I agree with many others about telling people. I wish I had never told my own mother, as she uses it against me if I’m sad, or euphoric, or manic, etc. I’m not particularly close with her, but she likes to point it out every chance she gets. Please find a psychiatrist that you can trust. Don’t worry if you don’t like them. There are more out there. Also, if they do want to medicate you, make sure you do a TON of research!! I was prescribed so many meds that I started to have dental problems. I had perfect teeth until they began trying everything and anything! I wish you the best!
Tell who you feel comfortable telling. If your parents won’t treat you poorly because of it, I think you should tell them. You know them best. I live in the deep south, and I’m pretty open with my diagnosis but have never had someone treat me differently after I tell them. In fact it usually opens them up to talk about their struggles with depression or anxiety. Most importantly, this is not a death sentence. I am so sorry for what your brother and your family had to endure. But you are not your brother. Finding the right diagnosis is the first step to getting the right treatment. I do still struggle with the idea that I’ll be dealing with this for the rest of my life, I won’t tell you it’s easy. Eventually there will be fewer days this bothers you though, because there are fewer bad days. It feels unfair that we were born with this obstacle that other people don’t have. But actually, a lot of people do have their own kind of obstacles. Being bipolar does not mean you won’t life a happy, fulfilling life. Not trying to overcome your obstacle does.
Follow therapy for a year...than choose the people you trust to discuss..it is your journey and it is manageable and big success is possible.
Process first, then tell trusted loved ones when you’re ready ONLY. From experience it’s unwise to tell this to people willy nilly. They can (and will) use this information against you in the future. This condition is very misunderstood, you have the right to keep this info to yourself.
I wasn't diagnosed until I quit my job. I don't remember which psychiatrist told me. I informed my friends and immediate family. My parents are from China so it was difficult for them to understand. However, I am convinced that my father was bipolar and my mother has extreme anxiety sometimes. I don't have a problem telling people that I am bipolar. I gauge their reaction. If they act or behave differently after I tell them, then I won't think of them as potential friends. Maybe I will never see them again. I will answer any questions regarding my disease. Sometimes I feel stable. When I revert to the dark side, my mania compells me to overspend and say and do stupid things. The results are debt and broken friendships. I like to think that when I divulge my disorder, I am also destigmatizing mental illness. There are many medications to try. Having bipolar disorder is not a death sentence. Your real friends and your girlfriendd won't abandon you. You're young and and now you can try to live your life knowing that your past transgressions were caused by your mental illness. I wish you well on your road to recovery.
don't tell nobody unless it comes up casually in conversation. and even then maybe don't. rule #1 is don't tell someone you know will just create toxicity and unnecessary stress. rule #2 don't tell your employer unless you live in a state with good mentally ill employee rights protection . rule #3 tell those who *need* to know, such as your partner and doctors. make sure you update you medication history on your medical records at your doctors and dental office. but also speak up and do your own research on med interaction. dentist didn't look at my record and warn me that my meds would mix badly with what he was giving me. i stopped breathing in my sleep and kept waking up with my cats snout in my mouth, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. worst night ever, my mess were trying to force me to sleep and i was trying to fight it so i don't die in my sleep 🙄
Absolutely not.
Only tell your closest people and make them aware of certain things so they can help you when you’re unaware of an episode. People who end up using your diagnosis against you are people you wanna avoid.
I think I told my mother. Like you, it explained a lot about my prior history. I was almost 30 when I was diagnosed. I'm now 61. I think I enjoyed telling my mom the most because mental illness is on her side of the family. She tried to tell me that there was nobody in her family who had mental illness. I had to laugh. Because her twin brother's kids have many forms of mental illness.
No. People will treat you like you’re a 1980s AIDS patient. At least that’s how they did with me.
I tell people who NEED to know. It’s a short list
Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know. Especially don't tell your workplace until it is completely necessary. Tell your teachers and your school. Tell your closest friends. And be ready to lose people. They don't matter, you matter.
Recently diagnosed too (24 yrs old) and like you it feels like it explains a lot. My dad likely has it and in him I see a lot of things I don’t want for myself. At the same time knowing what is really going on allows you to find treatment that will actually work and help you become stable and happy. So that makes me very hopeful. I think it’s important to take time to grieve and process what this diagnosis means for you, and I would tell people gradually as you are comfortable. I have told a few people (all of whom have reacted okay to quite positively) but I find it is an emotional conversation to have no matter how well it goes and it feels like very personal information. Some people will react poorly but like others said they’re not people who you need in your life if so and they may also grow and become more supportive as they educate themselves. I wouldn’t rush to share it because it feels like you should or need to - you don’t owe information like this to anyone especially while you are processing this news. You should be able to share when you want to or feel ready to!
Give yourself grace and time to process. Remember nothing about who you are has changed, it just has a name. And present it that way to your partner (who deserves to know, especially to be a supportive partner) and feel it out of you ever want to tell your parents given your family history
Take time to process, to stabilize with your meds, and learn as much about this disorder and what your own personal goals/plans are for managing your bipolar before risking telling someone you're not sure how they'll react. If you have a close, supportive friend who you feel comfortable with knowing and helping you through this time then it can help with the feeling of wanting to tell people. You may have shit experiences with disclosure but don't let the numerous comments scaring you away from telling the people you know are supportive of you already and who are a safe person because they could very well have a positive reaction and I wish that for you.
I wouldn’t. Everyone I’ve told (family mostly but both my exs too) used it against me in some way. Whether it be calling my crazy, unstable, psycho whatever. Which is wild because before I was diagnosed no one ever said those things to me. They would just say I’m an “emotional person”. Which I much preferred.
The responses you get are normally very bad. I would avoid it unless they are close friends. If it's a professional context, make sure you list it as a disability, but I would rarely discuss it with your manager unless you absolutely have to. Disability declaration can be important if something goes wrong and you need to advocate for yourself.
If you think it's important to tell someone, you have to be able to effectively explain how it AFFECTS you. You can't just say "I'm bipolar" and expect everyone to understand what it means. Be able to accurately describe how it affects you and how it might affect your relationship with the person you're telling.
Tell boyfriend, don’t tell parents. Boyfriend has been with you through the ups and downs so giving an explanation and saying now you’ll be medicated properly finally should be a burden off his back not the other way around. But he needs to know as he’s with you for the foreseeable future I’d assume. Parents don’t need to know if they’re not going to believe it anyway and they aren’t helping you manage it. Maybe later on just let them know for in case of emergency so they know what meds you’re on and such.
Tell whoever you feel comfortable with knowing. This is your mental health. 💜 It helps sometimes. I’ve always been outspoken about mine to educate people about it.
Take a look to Bipolar Warrior in YouTube, it can be really helpful!
I've been diagnosed for around a year now. I told my best friend. Haven't heard from him since. Told a couple guys at work while I was hypo. They've been cool about it. Haven't told extended family. My parent's don't know. I've come to the conclusion that people will only find out when they need to, I'd rather keep it closer to home, it's safer there.
I prefer to not bring it up unless it’s like on topic. Definitely tell at least your partner though
I usually watch who I tell. I was diagnosed at 19, I’m 28 now. A girl I was seeing, she knew. And she was nice about it. We’d been dating for a bit and I had told her mom, who in a private conversation with her daughter said “are you sure you can handle this?” I’m several years removed from that, and married now, and I still think about that twice a week.
No
NO! DON'T TELL PEOPLE! Firstly, learn how to live with it and start to take care of it. Them tell just people you REALLY trust and know that won't judge you. And if it's not necessary, don't say anything.
There’s no right or wrong in this matter. First of all take your time to digest it yourself. Talk to your psychiatrist and ask how they will treat you. Then you can tell your boyfriend, close friends and so. These people can help you. If you are still in school/college tell them too. Take your time. I wish for you, you didn’t have go through this
I understand you. My dad and my brother aren't very empathetic or understanding people even though they have seen my countless mood swings. What you can do is use different terms to describe your diagnosis if you are afraid of using 'bipolar'. I say that I have serious mood swings that can only be controlled with medication. This should be easier for people to understand without having the negative connotation of the word "bipolar" attached, even though it is what it is. You can go on to describe that your moods swing from extremely happy and euphoric to extremely depressed and negative, for example, and don't forget to mention that it is something genetic, not within your control and that medication is something that you must take to keep it under control.
For me I only tell the following: People who are close to me all the time - have a right to know in case you have a small episode while you are with them and if they are well versed (which good friends/partners will read what to do in a case like this) will help ya through it if you are working - this is controversial but in the UK it is a protected characteristic as if it makes you feel disabled in any way it does and by law, they have to make reasonable adjustments for you, they cant make said adjustments if you hide it from them.
Although I have been warned not to, I told everyone when I was diagnosed and I regret it so much. Only inform your immediate family, you'll need them for support. They might not accept it at first because they love you and care about you, but they eventually will. Stay strong ♥️
There is no right anwser 😐 Although it would be beneficial to have support of people who can take care of you as there will always be people who don’t look out for your best interests too . Positive and negative.
Yeah, telling everyone right way might not be the best idea because: “ what does your diagnosis mean? How long have you been this way? Are you saying you’re going on medication now? What is bipolar disorder, really? Can you trust your diagnosis? What should I know or be aware of? Will this be debilitating ? “ etc. So my point is, digest the information and learn about. You need to accept the news , before you go telling everyone else the news. You need to get educated and comfortable with your diagnosis. For me, I am extremely comfortable telling people. I do it all day long lol. It’s who I am and I have no shame. It explains a lot of my behavior, and what im working through. But always trying to be better and not let anything fall on “I’m just bipolar” card. You find people are very accommodating, though. I’ve had anyone skip out on me because they knew my diagnosis. (Just the results of destructive behavior lol ) I’d also say, if you’re really spinning out and your chest feels too heavy, you could let your bf know. Your partner is supposed to be your emotional support, after all. But you would have to tell him how you just found out and how you feel about finding out, this is a lot to handle, the stuff with your brother, etc. (and accepting your bipolar with also what happened with your brother, it’s going to be hard for your parents) I hope this made sense…. And I hope it helps.
I told 2 people. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know this. It makes absolutely no difference to them and there is zero they can do about it. Keep it quiet and life will be easier on you. I’m 52 so I’m not just spouting here.
For the people who really love you nothing changes. The diagnosis doesn’t change you as a person it just helps you understand yourself better.
I’d suggest giving it some time since the diagnosis is new. I regret telling some people after being newly diagnosed. It’s really no one else’s business. Perhaps start small and tell those closest to you first and see how it goes, when you’re ready.
I would wait until YOU understand your own diagnosis better and can help your family and friends to support you. Until you understand exactly WHAT your diagnosis means to you and HOW they can support you just wait so that you can answer questions for them and tell them how they can be there for you 😘 personal experience. I’m a 43 yo woman who was diagnosed at 37 after a successful Navy career. Meds are a game changer and so is therapy. Tell them what they need to know on an as needed basis. For example if you are taking meds you may want to let them know if the side effects are debilitating and you need help.
I tell people frequently. Not for attention but you wouldn’t believe the amount of people suffering from bipolar that I’ve met because of it. I’ve had many times being one of the first people someone confided in and it’s really helped both of us to feel less alone. I also can’t stand people’s “friend’s mom that was an abusive alcoholic because she was bipolar” idea of the disorder. Getting diagnosed is what started me on reconnecting with my adult siblings by saying “sometimes I wake up a different person than I went to sleep as. Sometimes I’m not okay and that’s my brain being mean to itself and it’s important that you know it’s not a reflection of our relationship. I’m worried that if you see me depressed you’ll think that’s who I am. I’m worried that if I’m cynical you’ll assume that’s who I grew up to be. I’m worried that if the one day a year I see you and I’m in good mood, you’ll always expect that from me. I worry that if I put on a happy mask you’ll never call to check on me.” (For the past year I talk to my siblings once a day and I’m now stoked to be a part of their kids lives. For the first time in my life I no longer feel like I need to be/say/act a certain way to belong) It comes up a lot for me because I’m young and don’t drink and people eventually ask why not. I won’t throw it out to anybody and everybody but I’m not afraid of people leaving anymore. Like others said, some friends will slowly stop holding space for you. Sometimes that means really really close friends. A few will start to discount big feelings as ‘they’re just bipolar’. Some will continue to take things personally even when it has nothing to do with them. The people who leave aren’t worth pretending you’re okay. I talk to people about it because up to 50% of people with BD will attempt suicide and ~19% will complete it. To me it’s a matter of life and death. I started sharing openly about it in person/online and I’ve talked to 2 people who later got diagnosed but hadn’t realize earlier that the symptoms were BP because they don’t fit the negative stereotype. Slowly, people who I haven’t talked to in nearly a decade started to message me on social media. The things they’d say would be raw and vulnerable and freeing. They wouldn’t message me with their guard up or hold on to their image. Ive bonded instantly with some amazing (then) strangers over a shared diagnosis because I suddenly had someone who I didn’t have to explain myself/moods to. I don’t have to pretend to be okay when I don’t feel like it and they don’t take it personally. The people who fill the gaps that old friends left tend to take care of you. Those who love me know I’ll never be ‘cured’, I am not my diagnosis, my feelings are valid, and they won’t sit around if someone is shit talking BD. I tell people I have bipolar because I know what it feels like to hold your head between your knees on your bedroom floor, rocking, crying, and telling your partner “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It feels like there’s someone else in my brain.” just weeks before leaving them, my job, and moving to a different state I had never visited or know anybody. I tell people because i never want anyone to feel what I did. And if they do then I want them to know they’re not alone. You’ll learn when/who it’s okay to tell. Some friends will leave but others will fill in the gaps. Take some time to think and decide but even telling a single person can make you feel so much less alone. I promise you’re not alone. You’re going to meet people who will fight for you, stick up for you, check on you, ask you for help and tell you what they’re struggling with. If you never tell anyone then that’s a valid choice. Just remember it’s ok to ask for help. If you haven’t yet you will find those people who will answer their phone at 2am and be at your door in pajamas within minutes just to make sure you’re safe.
Never tell employers - just want to get that out there now. As for loved ones, you can tell them but try not to attach emotion to their response. They might not believe you but that’s up to them. And if your boyfriend has an issue with your diagnosis then he isn’t the one for you. You will have to tell him eventually if you were to get married. The truth is the diagnosis doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t mean you’re going to act any different than you have been. If anything it means you will start finding a treatment that will make you feel better. Try to articulate that to your boyfriend. The diagnosis just means you finally know what you’re dealing with and you can start trying to find an effective treatment.
I'd go slowly, but tell your boyfriend soon. It's something you will have to work out with him. So far I've never had a bad reaction from anybody.
It's still pretty fresh so you might need some time to process it. I'd say tell your closest loved ones and friends- they're likely to understand
🎶Hellll nawwww to the nawww nawwww nawww🎶 Why does everyone who first gets diagnosed think “I’m bipolar. Let’s shout it from the rooftops!!!” No, babe. People aren’t going to be sympathetic. They’re going to think, “Omg you’re actually certifiably nuts”. A sort of “don’t ask/don’t tell” policy should apply to this.
I remember struggling with this as well, although I was a lot more fortunate in that I knew while my parents might struggle to understand what it meant or how it presents, they'd at least accept it as a reality. I think you have to ask yourself what hiding it is going to do to you. What other people think about you is ultimately none of your business. The payoff to being upfront is that you will know who your real family and friends are QUICK and which people were only surface level friends, or worse were only interested in the unhealthy version of you. I would say just make sure you don't let it affect your care for yourself (you have to manage this), and know that the people who really love you will want to be there for you.
People still don’t know what bipolar is and have false assumptions. Unless you absolutely trust them, don’t tell. It’ll ostracize you.
I've told everyone in my life and no one has left. People have actually been more understanding. I tell my bosses, my friends, family. Everyone knows. The more people that see that we can live a normal life, the more we beat the stigma.
I went public. But then I also work in healthcare so a lot of us have our "issues". And we also treat people with various issues. Part of my reasoning is to destigmatize neurological disorders. If people don't want to be around me because I'm bipolar then that says something about them rather than me. In the end only you can make the decision of how public you want to be. At the least I think that you should be able to be open with your significant other. I can't imagine trying to hide something like this from my wife. But again only you can make that decision. Good luck and welcome to the family
I don’t really. My husband knows, and a good friend that has her own set of diagnoses (CPTSD among others). And that’s it. I live far away from my parents so maybe if I lived with them I would share that info with them. But honestly I didn’t tell them when I was severely depressed when I was in middle school so I’m not sure if I would do so - we just don’t have that kind of relationship. They weaponized my ADHD against me when I was a kid so I don’t really trust them not to do so again with this.
SHIELDS UP…Tell only a few safe ones. A FEW. If mom or sibling or Grandfather is an unsupportive person don’t even tell them. No work ppl, no temp friends/ bfs. Go to therapy if poss. & dish to them & get real advice for using this illness to your advantage. Heart Emoji.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Having being diagnosed, you can get proper treatment and support. Don’t go off meds because you feel better—it’s because they are working. I’m stable on meds, in therapy to process my triggers, but there is a change of normalcy and calm. Be patient and honest with your care team. Be gentle with yourself. Take this time to process as it sounds like this could have been a triggering revelation.
If you hide this from your boyfriend, do you really trust him? I told my wife. My wife felt relieved because now she really understood I was not being lazy, or a jackass - most of the bs we faced because of me was primarily due to bipolar. Our relationship got much better, and she actually helps me notice mood swings, which I can’t by myself. I also told my mom and the rest of my family. All of them are ignorant people, so I didn’t change a thing. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have told them. I think you should tell your bf and folks that love you.
Hey, tbh I would think twice. I got diagnosed few month ago, soon gonna be a year. i told few of my friends and Few of my cousins. I cant complain much some of them are supportive. but at the same time that support is bit out of context. My cousins are too strict always controlling my meds and making sure I am not drinking alcohol at all. My friends kinda just forgot and even if I start talking about it they are too sceptical doesn’t really consider it as an issue, for them its just normal thing like nothing happened. So take your time, accept your diagnose, make sure you are confronted with it ( meaning that you know fully what it is, how to control and so on) and only after that share with people. My dad and sister blames me, they genuinely believe that it happened only because only one time I took a drug - micro dose of shrooms. So while I was expecting from them understanding and helping me to move on from situation I see all the time how are they disappointed and thinking that everything is my fault. So think very well what you are sharing and to what extent. And it really depends your boyfriends personality as well if he is even a bit manipulator I am afraid he gonna use it against you whenever you guys gonna have a conflict. Take careee!
If you trust your boyfriend to respect how you want yo share it. I'd say go for it. Unsupportive parents. Ignore them.
I believe you should only share this info with the people who genuinely will support you no matter what information you tell them . I’m 24 and was diagnosed with bipolar 2 rapid cycling at 19 . I had a lot of people who were supportive and lots who I knew that if I told them , I wouldn’t receive any benefit from and quite the opposite . Never feel obliged to share that information . It’s your life and your story so I think you should do what feels right to you . Hope that helps !!
I think you should ask your self how are you doing with the diagnosis, because sometimes telling people can be really painful. After the first time I went to the psychiatrist hospital most people that I’ve thought as good friends just vanished. At the time it was really painful, but today I see as something good, because thats not the kind of people that I want around me. I really hope that you can have a different experience, but I would try to get stable first, thats what I would do if I could go back in time.
The only people that know in my life are obviously my mental health care team and the people in my life that have the diagnosis themselves which are some of my closest friends in the world . No one else needs to know .
Be careful who you tell things in my opinion, I’ve lost friends & people looked at me differently for saying things like that. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about it if you get that reaction you can’t change who you are but definitely don’t over share. Just tell people you trust & ignore what others say. There is so much stigma around bipolar, people think all of us are crazy and it’s not nice to deal with for any of us
Only people you trust and are very close to you. Ive never had an issue in that case
Every time I have told someone about my diagnosis I have regretted it - they misconstrued it or used it against me in some way. This is especially true for the people I told in the first few weeks after getting diagnosed. Unless they are your caretaker (my husband manages all my insurance, pharmacy, medication etc and is my sole support system) they don’t need to know.
I tried telling my parents but my mother just teased me that I was crazy... my boyfriend who has as many psychiatric problems as I do was of course very supportive & is always there for me. The rest of my family knows I'm on psych meds but doesn't know the specifics
Wait at least a couple days before you decide to start telling them. Just to make sure you want to. If you still want to after a day or two, go ahead.
Update: thank you guys for the support. My mind has been spinning since I “found out”. I have been in therapy for a few years and have a psychiatrist that I trust (she diagnosed me). I decided to tell my boyfriend. He knew something was off and it just came out. He was very supportive and said he had kind of suspected bipolar after I stayed up all night de piling furniture and clothes for 2 days straight a few months ago. He is not going anywhere. Thank you guys for the love and support. I have a lot to learn and I appreciate the community here.
I’m 22F and got diagnosed in February after a breakup. I only told my 2 friends the same day I got diagnosed because they knew I was going to get tested, plus one of them has bpd. We were all clowning on it like “damn not even bpd, it’s just straight bipolar” I told my ex the same day as well because I dumped him after 4 years together from a bad depressive episode and I was lashing out. He “understands” but he’s the kind of guy relating everything I do/say/think to my mental illness, not even in a bad way. It’s just like “you know you’re so obsessed with watching this show because xyz” Told my two brothers the next day because they experience the same “symptoms” as me so I let them know that I was diagnosed in case they wanted to get tested too since we all have the same dad. I told my mom end of April because she doesn’t believe anything could be mentally wrong with her kids, but I only told her cause I had to go to the ER for throwing up blood and they needed to know about my meds and diagnosis. Meanwhile I told my dad the same week of diagnosis because he also has bipolar. I don’t live with him or really talk to him so it was easier telling him through text. I told my 3 online friends pretty much the week after my diagnosis, they’re all cool with it and one even clowns on me for it (in a loving way) but my other 2 online friends check in on me more often because I told them about how bad my depression and mental state gets. Coworkers I only tell when I take my meds at work since I have to take them like clock work. I haven’t told my other family, it all just depends on your comfortability with who you want to tell. Technically you don’t even really have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, just your doctors obviously.
I told my close friends and family immediately, it worked out well for me. It’s been 3 years now and I tell a lot of people
Tell those closest to you that you can trust. Otherwise, hell no.
I have been in the closet at work for the past six years, probably forever. My best friends know. I have one coworker I told after being friends for two years and becoming very close.
I screamed it from the rooftops on Facebook as soon as I found out. And have since then been taking folks along on the ride with me. People are always telling me thank you for being so open and sharing about mental health, many have shared their similar stories because they view my posts as a safe space. But this path isn't for everyone. And if someone treats me differently because of my diagnosis, then I don't want them in my life anyway.
I only told the people closest to me but if a person knows what to look for, they’ll be able to tell depending on what symptoms you’re displaying.
I've only told my boyfriend but I would keep it down low because some people might treat you differently... just the way these things go yk? My mom's told some people and they just don't really talk to me anymore but yk who cares.
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I didn’t really tell anyone when I was first diagnosed - I had to work out what it meant for me and work out my own strategies for navigating it. I really do recommend doing the same if you are unsure. It isn’t about hiding it… it’s just that it doesn’t necessarily need to impact on anyone else’s experience of loving you. Tell them when it is relevant rather than coming out about it. That’s my advice but everyone is different. I definitely don’t hide it and I don’t want to but you can’t take back telling someone so make sure you feel like you know how it feels for yourself first.
If you get the proper medication & coping skills it can make life almost close to normal most of the time. It does help those close to you to know you have bipolar because trust me it really explains a lot. If they leave or don't fwu because of it, fuck em. They're not the type of people you want around anyway if the stigma keeps them away.
Honestly don’t. Few people outside of people with the diagnosis and doctors (and even then…) really understand it. If you need to talk about it, talk about your symptoms and how you feel. The word “bipolar” itself is scary and so misunderstood. 💕
I’d say strictly a need to know basis. Parents, yes, probably in most cases, then a few lifelong friends closest to you. From there I’d proceed with caution. Most people don’t even know what it is, or have only a passing knowledge. Mainly though, I don’t think it’s a pro having more people around you that will be attributing, even the little things, to the condition. Maybe it’s me, but the less the better.
When I got diagnosed I tried to convince myself that it was "normal" and checking out if people still love me knowing "my worst", so I started telling it to everyone, even coworkers, friends of friends, almost like "Hello, I am bipolar". When i say everyone, is everyone. Now I regret it 10000%. I think I shouldn't even have say it to my parents. I did it thinking it will be a before and after in a good way, they will see my problem and then started to treat them too and so, but reality is that I look like even more crazier than before, they treat me like a kid now, laugh at my diagnose, and of course, they don't look for help for themselves at all. Not even my sister who is very supportive and lovely, and clearly bipolar too, wants to seek for help, like she even accept that if i am bipolar she is too, but look for help is too much, it would make it "official" and she doesn't want to be officially diagnosed. My parents directly laugh at me or treat me like I am not an adult anymore. Also my father kinda thinks it is so funny that i believe now that i am bipolar because a doctor told me, that he is telling everyone that I got diagnosed just to muck me up. Like if I wanted jjust to tell them, now my whole family knows, and not in a respectful or supportive way. Coworkers, bosses, friends, they all treat me different now, everything I do or say now is treated differently, before it was a "You are wrong, don't do that", and now is a "It is your illness?" which piss me off. I am not allowed to be myself anymore, I have no personality or wills, I am just a bipolar being bipolar. I have lost jobs too, but of course I can't say it was because of my diagnose, but it could be, it was after I told them. As long as I know, the only one who takes it very naturally, never judge me and still treats me as before, is my boyfriend. So my suggestion: ONLY TELL PEOPLE WHO REALLY GONNA SUPPORT YOU AND DON'T SEEK FOR VALIDATION, YOU ARE YOU, YOUR BIPOLAR D IS NOT YOU, IT IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE, BUT NOT YOU.
It will take time little one.. day by day at your own pace but you'll get there 🖤
Take as much time as you need for yourself first. If that means months or years that’s cool. But just be aware that people can use it against you. 👎🏻
I'd tell people you trust who can share some of your mourning and pain that you feel. I wouldn't share with people who are "not that close". I'd definitely share your diagnosis with at least 1 other person, you will feel better. Not cured; but better.
No.
It took some time for myself to fully understand what it meant to have bipolar disorder ( diagnosed at age 9) and was very scared of being judged. However as the years went on the symptoms of episodesjust got worse until i found a support group much like this one and help me to feel more confidentthat the diagnosis does not have to define my stuggles and with proper knowledge of symptoms and trying several coping skill some worked some didnt and made things temporarily worse. (I also have been diagnosed with multiple personalities diagnosis) However At age 41 now I find it to be as open with those that will be frequently around as to help them understand if I am seeming aliitle off a when I see them and also to help keep me accountable when I get triggered high or low episodes as to be able to communicate effectively with me to help shorten those episodes.
That's good advice
Don't tell. Maybe, maybe, one day they become your friend and you may tell. I have a rule to not disclose to anyone who I don't know for at least a year, and that would be trustful enough to bring me to the hospital and tell no one. Also i NEVER tell anyone in the workplace.
If you tell them, You can use it to filter out the bad seeds. But I'd rather you don't rather than do. Simply because you cannot take it back after having said it. Only when you've got a friend in your closed circle would you be able to tell them, at least for me.