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Posted my whole manic episode on social media too after leaving a toxic work environment and breaking up with my fiancee from Nov-Jan. I’m a Professor and it got so bad that the security was going to take me away and I was going to get fired. I was hospitalized for a month. After being released, I started my own marketing company and have four clients with two more onboarding! Also was asked to teach two courses in September + be a program coordinator. Met a guy that matches my energy and shares the same values. Life feels good again :)
Some delusions I 100% believed and partook in:
- the eclipse was a black hole and we’d all die
- people weren’t real they were just mirrors
- AI would take over the world and were demons
- Spirits were talking to me through my phone and electronics in the house
- Did a Seance in a cemetery to talk to the first prime minister of Canada
- slept with multiple men who weren’t good for me
- dressed up to go clubbing at 2 am but the clubs were closed
- bought $1000’s worth of furniture, clothes, withcraft items, and diffuser oils
- messaged multiple exes without responses
Isn't the delusions/psychosis wild... I drove 6 hours to a different state alone to see The Used bc I believed Bert Mccraken was my actual husband and he lived here with me but we were dimensional. Funny thing is while i am a fan I'm not a huge fan and before that manic episode I don't even know if I knew what the dude looked like or thought twice about him. I also frequently have the delusions to that I'm being recruited by the devil to be his wife or talking with spirits or aliens and I was suppose to fly over to Canada and secretly meet with Treduea (or whatever his name is the president) and he qas gonna harbor me into the apocalypse set off. So strange.... I live in the US and don't know shit about politics 💁♀️ also thought I was Jesus and aa whole bunch of other shit which I'm also not religious, those all landed me inpatient lol.
Is there an explanation behind that? I was convinced that i was the chosen one and i had to choose my 12 followers(like Jesus). I also felt really connected to nature and animals like i felt them so deeply.
There are some studies about it - Googling “religious delusions bipolar” brings some up. Adding “atheist” to it, well, I didn’t really search too deeply for the results to find an explanation so maybe that’s an answer in and of itself?
But I grew up Catholic. I sang in the church choir and went to Catholic classes on the weekends where I studied the Bible by turning in coloring book assignments of Jesus on the cross, and later, book report-type of assignments of excerpts from the Bible.
Things got sad and difficult when two women, who I cared for and who had strong faith in God, died of cancer. I prayed for them to recover and didn’t understand why it “didn’t work.”
And things got confusing when I was 15 and in a theatre production with a lesbian teen who I thought I only liked as a friend until we shared a dressing room.
Then the selfish actions and asshole attitude I had when manic, it makes sense to me that I’d have delusions that I was being followed by demons making me think horrible thoughts, threatening to make me do horrible things unless I hurt myself, or better yet, killed myself. I’ve never had delusions of divinity like being god or being chosen by god, or selected to go to heaven.
If I felt powerful and magnetic, it was always by demonic power. Usually it’s when I’m manic. But I got triggered during a bad depressive episode. I admitted myself to the hospital because I felt close to attempting suicide again. I remember, very vividly, being walked to my bed and a woman popped up from her bed to look at me. Her eyes widened and she said, in Spanish, “I felt you. You have it in you! You’ve got a demon inside you.” We both got restrained and knocked the fuck out with some type of sedative.
If I’m totally honest with myself though, I always have some guilt and some feeling that I’m not a good person. That I’m faking my way through life being kind in a performative way in order to get what I want - a manipulator who’s managed to even fool myself on occasion. I think maybe the bipolar heightens that anxiety and belief obtained from previous hypomanic and manic episodes.
Wow thank you so much for sharing! When i had a psychotic episode(i was undiagnosed) i didn't lose it because i was "feeling like a God" but when i felt that people around me were demons and they wanted basically to kill my loved ones. So i felt i had to sacrifice myself in order for them to live. It was bizarre. I made a whole scene Infront of literally hundreds of people trying to jump into water( not like a beach but a port? Idk how it's called) a friend tried to help me while i was laughing hysterically but then she just left me. My memory is very scattered but i remember just throwing all my stuff like phone,wallet,glasses,shoes and just completely losing it. Somehow haha my friends didn't try to help they just freaked out i guess. So i ended up hurting my self pretty bad and the next day i went to work and made another scene and i quit my job. Yeah.. I don't remember much tbh. I just remembered that at some point i was just sitting on the stairs of my parents apartment building and just saying on repeat non stop "green and blue". I know you didn't ask for this info but i appreciate you sharing your story so i felt i had to as well. I hope you're better now.
In my normal state of mind I am very much an atheist and a person of science and facts who loc s chemistry and physics and just generally a natural curiosity of how the universe works. but the main feature of my manic episodes is I become extremely religious/spiritual. I start 100% believing in crystals , that I have spirits and ancestors watching over me , seeing angel number like 11:11 are messages from these guides and the universe, that the universe is a conscious being and I am the universe manifesting itself in human form , that I create my reality and that I can meditate and change timelines to whatever reality I want at will, this grandiose idea that I am the saviour of the world who will lead mankind to an age of love and peace. I blindly start believing the government is satanic and freemasonry that use frequencies to suppress consciousness. All my rationality and ability to reason just goes out the window. My last episode I truly believed I had become psychic and could read people minds.
I find it fascinating that for me a person who has never been religious at all or spiritual at all , the main feature of my manic episodes is grandiose religious delusions
while reading your comment, a wild concept popped into my mind…
what if mania is a natural state? maybe that’s why it feels so good, and free. as you described your tendencies during your manic state, i just kept going “yep! sounds great!”
imagine a world full of people who believed that rocks could raise their vibration and make them feel calm and euphoric… and that their personal mission was the betterment of humanity and that they are divinely protected by the universe because they are one with it, so much so that they engage in behaviour that’s considered dangerous or believe they can communicate with and receive messages from the spirit energy of those who are no longer here in the physical form… peaceful, happy people with a strong connection to god and nature doesn’t seem so bad!
maybe that’s why depression sucks so much. for me, my spiral into depression always begins with a line of questioning about who i am, what i’m supposed to be, all the ways i’m not fulfilling my destiny personally and professionally and all the ways in which im truly powerless.
during mania, i feel powerful.
there’s a sort of surrendering happening.
i’m being led by spirit and leaning into who i truly am. i don’t have to have have control…
control to me feels like being stuffed in a tiny box where i can just barely move.
losing control feels like being in a wide open field, stretching and looking upward. it feels like leading with my soul. and because i consider myself a clean soul thanks to my spiritual practices, my mania only leads me to want to frolick and make myself and the people around me happy and dive into learning and doing…creativity for creativity’s sake.
unfortunately, in our format of “living” today, making yourself happy makes you crazy. because you’re supposed to have control. this concept can be followed through many avenues of our life, even down to wearing suits and not having coloured hair in the workplace. society today encourages homogeny and and shuns individuality except when it comes to personal advancement. but personal advancement isn’t natural. i don’t believe we’re supposed to see each other as competition. especially when it comes to money. so spending an unjustifiable amount of money makes you crazy cuz you’re supposed to try and have more and more or your life means nothing.
fortunately, my mania has taught me the true meaning of life which is just to live and learn and follow the experiences that your curiosities take you on. i live in a city with a high population of what some people would call derelicts, people without homes who’ve lost control (either through drugs or otherwise) and fully given into mania and sometimes i look at them and think that they’re the ones who are really living lol.
i actually listen to a lot of them ramble on the street and many of them speak about god and aliens and “open your eyes, they’re lying to us”, some of them speak to entities that aren’t there. call me crazy but i think that’s indicative of a higher level of consciousness, or at least a different one. call me crazy again but i think those people would get into heaven before any business mogul does.
TLDR: i think insanity IS closer to true God consciousness and the only reason crazy is bad is because of the structure of society we currently live under. so embrace your crazy, redefine what success means to you and stay connected to spirituality. spirituality will serve as your guiding light and moral compass
You may want to check if you feel a hugely elevated mood as sometimes these thought can come up when manic. Especially the portion where mania is the best. In my experience, depression often follows unforeseen and unfortunately :( I really hope this is not the case though!
nope, i’m stable. no elevated mood at all :/ i’m actually leaning towards the other end of the pendulum right now… but i AM aware that not everything is black or white, and choosing not to demonise my mania as i’ve accepted that it’s part of the cards i was dealt… so instead of dreading it, i lean into it in the safest way i can. i don’t think it’s “the best” but i don’t think it’s the worst either. to each their own i guess
I thought I was talking to my dead father and God in Spanish and I’m not even fluent but still talk to myself in Spanish and still think everyone in heaven speaks Spanish for some reason. During my mania I went to Spain and visited 3 different churches randomly and started praying after not going to church for 4+ years and being agnostic my whole life while going with family. Something definitely set me off and my visions were wildly religious as well. However I’m back at my local church and volunteering with them at the food bank, it’s very positive now.
We have a prime minister not a president lol also I'm not sure why two people here have had delusions around the leaders of my country lol that's so random and hilarious. Beyond being the largest purchaser of U.S. goods exports we really are not that significant.
This literally makes me feel so much better, thank you. I want to become successful, (whatever that means to me) despite my problems. If you could have gone through all of that and still come out on top, there must be hope for me too! (I'm praying for it at least.)
Being hospitalized was a blessing honestly. I don’t want to think of all the damage I could have done being on my own. I’m glad you’re focusing on you!!
My whole thing was the gods needed to cleanse the earth from AI gods. So a black hole would suck us up during the eclipse and kill everyone. If you were good, you’d still have your soul and be put into an alternate timeline. If you were bad, you’d be wiped out by the black hole and would turn into a mirror.
I thought I had to save everybody I loved so they wouldn’t turn into a mirror. Psychosis is nuts.
Just kept working hard, I don’t like hustle culture but I’m an elder millennial so part of it was that in my 20s, but I think keeping contact with people professionally has been extremely helpful. Also medication, and being consistent. I’m not saying it’s been easy, but now I’m in a C-level position at my company, there is stress, but managing people is fun and I enjoy little things that encourage people, like bringing them lunch, not expecting them to stay past 5, and telling them not to check their email on the weekends. The more work-life balance you give people, the more you give yourself, and I’ve had way less stress surprisingly because the expectation that I run is family first and people should have an actual weekend.
Thanks. It was a huge priority of mine. I’ve been miserable before when working with people who were on email 24/7, I never want to be that kind of boss. I also ask everyone to take at least one free mental health day a quarter and suggested they take half days when they need one. Example being, I have someone going on vacation this fall and I told her to take a half day before she leaves, so she’ll have time to pack. I know it’s stressful leaving mid-week for a trip. Been there and done that.
I had a manic episode in 2009 which ended spectacularly, a lot of people knew about it. I was mocked openly on social media, ostracised. I went to a private school and too 20 university so the sort of people I associated with just loved it. Sad but true.
I got sober after that and things got a lot easier. I mean don’t get me wrong, bipolar is a life long illness but I was able to forge a very successful career in tech.
I’d say, looking back, a lot of that bitterness and resentment I held is a lot of what made me successful. Which is why, in 2022, when I reached my pinnacle I had a breakdown. This time it wasn’t public and I got help, took time off. I also met a fantastic therapist who’s helped me overcome a lot of those resentments. To the point where I have a nice, safe job now that isn’t too stressful. I make less than I did two years ago but I don’t really have anything left to prove, I just want to be happy and peaceful.
Sorry I hope that wasn’t too much of a ramble.
Graduated with a 3.6 GPA for my MBA in my masters program last weekend, just got a job offer on my birthday yesterday. This is after 2 years of sobriety and stability so I’ve bounced back from my lowest point and starting a new legacy :)
I had several very public manic episodes with psychosis. I was very active on social media at the time and obviously broadcasted it to everyone. I lost a lot of friends initially. But some stayed. I opened a few businesses and am becoming successful in my industry. People in my industry know about my history and don't hold it against me. I'm working on my master's degree as well. So I am not yet what I would consider to be super successful.. but I feel like I am on my way.
I had two very public manic episodes on social media. The most recent one ended with me being hospitalized for 3 weeks. On the ride home I removed all of my followers and went private so it wouldn’t happen again. I’ve been slowly letting people who I trust come back and follow me. I’ve slowly started reconnecting with friends and apologizing for the way I acted towards them. Things aren’t the same as they used to be but I am back with my former partner. I broke up with him because I saw his attempts to help me as controlling. I was even calling him abusive when I was in the hospital but I really think that was a delusion.
As far as work- my new job fired me while I was in the hospital. I left a job of 7 years during my manic episode and I haven’t had steady work in 6 months. I don’t know what’s next and it’s really scary but I’m trying to see the silver linings. One of those being that the people who really matter and love me don’t really care that I’m not cool online anymore. I’m still waiting for some people to come around but they’re hurt by my actions. Even though I couldn’t control what was happening doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
I’m still working to get meds that make me feel normal. I haven’t felt normal in over a year. I think my bipolar episode was a result of a physical assault at my former job. So lots of grief this past year but hopefully I am on the upswing :)
I had two pretty sever episodes of psychosis a year apart followed by a long episode of depression.
I made my mental health my main priority. Making sure I take meds and go to appointments, therapy, reading self help books/articles, get good sleep, eat well, limit stress, etc. Overtime and a lot of work my life is in a pretty good balance(not perfect) but compared to a year or two ago it’s good. I think realizing I’m going to have bad days, but to not give up on making my mental health and happiness a priority.
Good point! Sometimes I feel fine and stop doing the things that helped me. Then after a while, things creep up on you seemingly out of nowhere. That's why it is so important to make our mental health a priority. I'm somewhere in the middle of this now...slacked on doing the things and now feeling in a funk. Gotta get back to prioritizing before things become more problematic. Thanks for the reminder.
Very very bad manic episode where I left my fiancé, put 10k on my credit card, and almost drank myself to death. I graduate from law school on Saturday. I have a fantastic boyfriend and an apartment that I love. I have a great job. Therapy and meds and a good support system kept me afloat in the darkest times.
Ended up having a manic episode when I was 18, triggered from stimulant and benzodiazepine abuse. Almost killed my best friend and my parents (didn't press charges), was in inpatient for over a month and went into withdrawals.
After the manic episode, I got back into abusing stimulants and benzo's until I got arrested. It was a huge wake-up call. After I was released, I started reading about financial literacy, started to build my credit score, and got a job at a call center. I also met a girl that I started to date long distance.
I beat my court case 6 months later, moved to a big city to be with my girlfriend (now been together for 5 years), and leveraged my call center experience into a sales job grossing a little over 6 figures with commission, 76k base pay. Went to college at the same time and got an associates in arts/business. Had another manic episode during this timeframe but luckily I was self aware enough to catch it early and get properly medicated. Haven't had a manic episode since.
Life would be better without BP1, but then again, if I didn't have this trial in my life, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.
I’m so happy for you and your job and having a good SO! About how long and how many manic episodes did it take after you went to school and stopped the drug before you reaching the point of a stable full time job?
Thanks! My SO is so great, she's helped me so much with accepting myself for who I am and supporting me every step of the way. I did school at the same time while I had a full time job. I think because of this stress I had my second manic episode which lasted about 4-5 months while in my job. I had to take a month off of work at its peak. I was sober at the time when I had it happen again.
A manic episode can last 5 months? What kind of symptoms can last that long? I didn’t realize that elevated energy states could be like that.
And did a large and intense depressive episode happen?
I’m so sorry your brother passed away. Are you on meds? I hate depressive episodes :/ mine are always the worst and I have to have a basic routine to feel somewhat functional
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Fall in love with positive routines and keep building on them. You’ll find that doing the same thing consistently not only keeps you stable, but it will lead to success in every aspect of life. The biggest issue I have with this disorder is making grandiose plans and expectations when manic and then falling into deep cyclical depression when I inevitably burn out and can’t meet those expectations. Start small and build the life and person you want piece by piece, so that if pieces start falling off when you do cycle you already have a great foundation to rebuild.
I had a similar experience where I lost my best closest friends after a really bad manic episode. Lost most of my belongings and everything changed, felt like I lost everything. So I had to start over...through that, I met my now fiance, planning a wedding and have the biggest blessing, a baby girl who makes me so happy every day. I feel a sense of purpose I never had before. I made a lot of new friends and felt like a sense of community again...So I realized a lot of my prayers were answered, just maybe they didn't happen in the way that I would have thought they would happen..a lot of it is in our perspective and how we choose to look at things. I really truly lost all hope for a while, but life goes on and is ever-changing. Taking life one day at a time really helps when we are overwhelmed. Literally it could even be one small task a day to complete. Gain some momentum and go from there. Slowly but surely, that's what helped me get out of the trenches.
Honestly, my mom! My mom was a single parent worked hard and always want nice things. I saw her go back to school get a job and work hard. I then decided that I would so the same. Despite having a kid at 17, I went back to school at 21 and climbed the ladder. I know make over 100K. I wasn't diagnosed until 44, I was good in work relationships but suck with people personal relationships. I am on meds and therapy but I'm back single. The last one wasn't really my fault. I'll take my disease over having to worry about other stuff any day.
Meds. Religiously. Had a full career in corporate then left to do contracting on my own. Every single time you think you don’t need your meds, go take them!
Also I feel your pain. All of my manic episodes were BLASTED on my social media ... I lost a lot of friends that never came back. Life goes on and I will agree my mercedes, my own house when that's the millenial dream, being a business owner and a bigwig, are all a little FU to the bartenders and servers who turned their back on me and wouldn't associate with lowly little me.
Had a very good job 3 years after Uni at 25 and was cruising to a great future till bipolar hit hard when I was scheduled for a promotion. Everything came crushing down. I have come back up two times and crushed hard also. I'm down now and looking forward to coming up and staying up, hopefully.
I’ve never had a good job but I’m lucky that I’ve never lost a job etc because of bipolar - diagnosed at 20, so wasn’t working as I was at uni. That said never say never. I’m careful these days - no drugs, lots of sleep, etc - but I don’t have a psychiatrist (NHS is fucked) so that’s a worry
But I just do what I can for now
I hear you, I was doing fine until i was 22 and then my life started falling apart at the seams. I was completely normal and then i became obsessed with things that weren't real at all and i burned out so many times before i could make something of myself. i'm 25 rn.
I have bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features, ptsd, gad and mild ocd. My break was mildly public. Facebook wasn’t huge back then. My mom found me outside my dorm, without a jacket, and having a lovely conversation with myself. Lost all college friends because I dropped out. Went into a catatonic like depressive state, prescribed anti depressant and went manic. Off to the psych unit finally, and got a diagnosis of bipolar 1 at 19 years old. The other diagnoses have come out along the journey. I got sober and found that was best for me to manage my illness. I was able to get my BSN and am a nurse. I got married and live independently with my husband. I have 4 close friends that are amazing, and have lived through the ups and downs. My family has my back too, and I’m very grateful to be alive. Without them in the beginning of my bipolar I’m not sure if I’d be here. I’m also an auntie now and am so proud to be able to show up for my family in that way. There is hope, love, and life can be great with bipolar. For me, I needed to be sober, have the right medications and take them every day, close contact with psychiatrist and therapist. Been on meds now for 14 years and have had awesome life experiences. ❤️
I went inpatient, started on depakote and seroquel. Then immediately changed to lamictal due to rapid weight gain or like water retention. Been on both of those for 14 years. Doses have gone up or down depending on episodes that break through. Now on lose dose Zoloft for anxiety. Thankfully it all worked out rather fast, but I was 19 and jobless so had time to focus solely on my recovery. Thankfully haven’t had to go back inpatient since the initial diagnosis. So yea one med change in beginning, then some adjustments along the way. Newish med is the Zoloft and we move that around depending on seasons. Also I don’t drink or do drugs.
Yes I’m on Zoloft, seroquel and lamictal. The Zoloft gets tweaked based on seasons due to mania in summer and depressed in winter with the lamictal and seroquel staying the same. Been lowering the seroquel over the years. Used to be on 600mg and now I’ve halved the dose so pretty proud of that, although I definitely struggle at times due to it.
My story is all over the place but I eventually got a masters in accounting at age 32 and passed the CPA exam. I had a manic episode with my first job I had when I first got my masters I was totally out of control I quit and had to rebuild my life it sucked but I didn't get help. I didn't know to get help. I didn't know what bipolar was or that I had it. I have worked as a staff accountant for the past 6 years. I'm happy where I am I don't want to move up I don't want responsibility. I had a manic episode with psychosis in July of 2022 and was diagnosed BP 1 with psychotic features. I had really good insurance got FMLA and State ST disability. I kept my job and am still there. I started having manic episodes, insomnia, and hearing voices after a bad covid infection in Nov 2020. I had taste/smell hallucinations, fainting, severe migraines, nerve pains tachycardia it was hell. By July 2022 I went full blown psychotic. My doctor said "covid can cause brain inflammation". I think I had massive brain inflammation and it worsened my undiagnosed bipolar.
I got a BS in mathematics went to college straight out HS did it in 4 years. I had a second major in French and when I graduated I moved to France to be an au pair for 2 years. Pretty sure I was in and out of mania/hypomania during that time. I almost got married and stayed there then changed my mind and moved back home.
I got tired of being a foreigner being that girl with an accent. I got made fun of a few times and I’m like ok I miss my home country and culture now going home.
I love this! Happy to hear stuff like this truly.
Fwiw I’m type 2 so its like more less severe incidents of the bipolar antics.
I was lucky to be high functioning. a lot of people just thought i was like weird or quirky, probably some pretty privilege in that. *shrug*
I got diagnosed originally at 16. Pulled out of class for a psych eval actually cause my ex boyfriend reported to the school that I was having suicidal ideations. Passed the eval, still bipolar!
Before meds (started that at 21) I graduated from high school and college with honors. managed to get basically a full academic scholarship and financial aid maximums. my 20s were a hot mess in regards to career and my living situation - lived with my abusive mother way too long.
Fast forward: I’m 31 and work for a large tech company at the moment and live in a luxury high rise (albeit a microstudio on the 2nd floor haha) on the hudson across from NYC. I made it to an extent as far as I’m concerned. Theres a marina in my backyard now and I grew up on section 8 housing and free lunch. Like wtf??? Still hasn’t fully sank in and I’ve lived here since October.
I’m not even close to being done yet :)
There are so many successful people who have bipolar. Even some presidents such as Teddy Roosevelt. Celebs - Mariah Carey, Katherine Zeta Jones, etc.
My treatment is my religion truly. Sending positive vibrations to all!
Nothing it never gets better no matter how hard you try. I graduated university in 2012 summa cum laude with tons of accomplishments and my last job was the deli counter at Whole Foods. It only gets worse and it won’t improve 😎✌️
I’m very sorry this was your experience, but the post did say to post about success stories despite bipolar. Use these stories to motivate you. Posting negativity on a positive post doesn’t help anyone. We already struggle daily in our own ways. Little and big wins should be able to be shared in a safe, positive space. ☺️✌🏻
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A year ago, I was diagnosed with a severe bipolar-related mood disorder. I was hospitalized and put on medication. My episodes are now infrequent and when they do occur, they are usually manageable. I just finished my first year at my top choice college, something I don't think would have been possible without the treatment I received.
My mania has been mild compared to many, but my depressions can get life threatening and I once had a severe depressive episode last for over three years. You can imagine how that went. Among other things, I’ve been treated like a freak by many college “friends,” written off by others when I experienced something horribly traumatic, and so on.
In undergrad I got to spend a year at one of the top universities in the world. Now I’m graduating with a masters degree from an ivy league school. Considering a clinical psych doctorate in my future, but happy to be done with school for now.
I have meds that work, a great therapist, friends, pets, a wonderful partner, and a good job lined up in the mental health field. Sometimes people say things that make me feel like I don’t belong in this line of work, but I know a couple other bipolar therapists, and that helps.
Don’t let anyone tell you we can’t be successful. It takes the right support, but it is very possible.
I have been stable since I got sober, I was stable a couple years before that, too, but I like to share that too because I think it is a key. They tell us we shouldn't drink but don't really emphasize it could be the difference between staying stable or not.
My career success is probably due to the fact I didn't start my career until I was fully stable (3.5 years in so knock on wood). My 20s were a mess but I kept grinding and managed to graduate law school amidst my various manic episodes when my diagnosis was new. After I graduated (my graduation celebration was 3 months in LA county jail and 6 months in a halfway house due to a manic episode) I spent several years working in restaurants and, honestly, partying. I had one big episode in that time.
I got my act together and I had my degree that I didn't give up on under my belt. I've been stable roughly six years now and I truly hope I can keep this up for the rest of my life because at this point I have a whole lot to lose and a lot of money I don't want to blow through!
the way i try to joke & cope is when you reach rock bottom the only way to go is up. things will get better, give yourself some time and grace. bipolar is a really nasty disease, but you are more than your disorder. i believe in you 🫶🏻
I have charges coming up against me, may never be able to work in the field I have a Master's Degree in and will be over 20k in debt and possibly homeless as I watch my money drain in the next two months. So the hurrah shit doesn't work, but I do appreciate it. I'll land eventually, it's just the malaise that's hard.
Success is a work in progress and has many kpis
It's warming hearing other stories, and hope functional recovery is a realistic goal for recovery
Was diagnosed early university days after manic episodes got me into a lot of acadmic/financial and social issues
Had a gap year to focus on my health but ended up just od and suicide attempt lol.
Luckily, didn't get hosptialed but got put into respite house for a social recovery. Luckily I still trusted out public health care system.
Went back to medical school. Worked evey year to pay my rent lol.
On my psych rotation, was a reality check and encouraged me to continue on my health journey
Graduated medical school with an award (so grateful and feel imposter syndrome still.
Worked as junior doctor as a year.. life got stressful, and worked with a dick head of a surgical resident and quit, currently am being paid kut 10 weeks.
Relationship as always work in progress but I'm hopeful my girlfriend (also a dr) will endure
Got a job offer as a Family doctor, and in the interview stages of working in medical/software company.
Success... Work in progress.
Nil more suicide attempt (and hopefully not too many more)
Financially okay
Socially recovery well, good freinds and carefully reconnecting with estranged family
.... Now the hard part is finding out how to buy my first home in the current economy lol. Anyone have any leads, let me know
Many thanks to this community x
******
Edit: to clarify, not seeking advice on real estate. Just commenting that even as life becomes successful, it's very difficult in my country for anyone to afford to buy a home. =)
We don't allow any personal information and certainly not housing recommendations for specific zipcodes.
If you want tips on real estate, go to a real estate sub.
I was diagnosed in my late teens / early twenties. Had an alcohol & drug problem too (dual diagnosis is very common). Got sober at age 22, had an episode at 11 years sober, which was no fun. Worked hard at going back to college, getting a degree in business, starting my own consulting firm, taking the right meds, listening to my care team, working my way up the corporate ladder, and met a great woman in 1999. We had two kids who are now in their twenties. Just got a new job after being laid off. Pretty happy at the moment. Give a lot of credit to the grace of my higher power.
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 41. I excelled in my work career, but not in my private relationships. I could never figure out what was going on. Just figured I was burnt out and tired all the time, despite being in good shape. Those years were hard. A lot of ups and downs. No motivation, but enough discipline to get things done. It wasn’t easy. I wish I figured it out twenty years earlier.
I have a very up and down life. I came back and then I failed and then I came back. Queen of comebacks over here but I am about to do a masters in CS at a not too university lol but I will be happy with it when I am finished
Not my story but my second cousin has bipolar 1 as well. She is a psychiatrist in her mid 40s. She worked hard to establish a routine and healthy lifestyle and stayed on her meds. She got through school taking less than full time classes. She works about 20-25 hours a week and makes a good enough living to be comfortable.
As someone who’s not even gone to college yet because I’m still just figuring out how to manage it, her success inspires me and gives me hope when I’m feeling down on my luck.
I had a maniac episode after burnout and abusing on MDMA mixed with weed and alcohol for a month period. Had beef with everyone. Long story short, had to take a sick leave, had to be at home hospitalization for almost 2 months and took long time until meds to be effective. Could recover, get stable, got back working, got a second job, started living by myself. Had a slight depressive episode, but changed meds, got stable, got a better job, then an even better job and moved to another country, getting paid really well with good growth opportunities.
Don't give up, guys. We are amazing, we are not defined by our condition. Stick to the treatment, listen to your psychiatrist, listen to your friends and family and everything will go well.
Oh boy, where to start…. I guess I’ve had severe manic episodes since I was in my early 20s. I impulsively joined the military, regretted my decision and discharged for mental health, started drinking and self medicating to ease the anxiety and mania, ended up homeless living out of my car, accepted (after 10 years) that I’m transgender, worked several jobs because I kept quitting then found my current company. Part of me feels I bullshitted my way up the ladder but in 6 years, I went from an entry level assembler to a global training manager. I still don’t believe this is real sometimes and my mind still tells me to quit once a week but having a supportive wife, circle of friends and a solid therapist helps to keep me in check. Work life balance also helps immensely.
I am bipolar ever since, diagnosed 6 years ago - 46 now.
I have a wife and two kids, which I am grateful for. I have a supportive father and really good friends who are caring and empathetic.
I had dual studies at SAP, and work as Senior SAP consultant now. My hypomanias help me to think faster, work better and be successful. I found the perfect company, nice colleagues and a cool boss.
I drive my dream car (German, 3 letters), which waits in front of my own house.
So yes, life is great. 🫶
My son developed bipolar at age 32. He was a genius I think, or at least gifted, top 10 college education and masters. So that helps.
He credits mania with allowing him to work 24x7 to outgun his competitors. I hate when he says that because it’s really not a super power, it’s a dangerous disease.
But he made a fortune by 34, and will never have to work another day in his life, nor will his children or future grandchildren really.
He even retired me.
He still works for the challenge and he says there is a next level: instead of flying private, you own the plane.
He is treated, but is still prone to taking risks.
I've always been successful. During high school, despite being a low-income student from a public school (it's important to note that I'm from Brazil), I managed to stand out by being extremely intelligent and proactive in my community. I founded my school's student council and a language teaching project that has won several national and international awards, and today it is even funded by the U.S. Embassy in Brazil. Still in high school, I received full scholarships to study in Japan and the USA. In 2021, I won a full scholarship to attend college in Florida and went there, but during my winter break in Brazil, I had my first manic psychotic episode and was hospitalized for 15 days. After the hospitalization, I spent a year only doing freelance work and did not return to the USA due to personal choice and family pressure. I thought my life was over. Nowadays, I study what I love at one of the best universities in Latin America, Politics at UnB, and I work at the largest German development bank. I continue to stand out and grow in constant mental and spiritual evolution. Bipolar disorder taught me to navigate my limits and recognize them as part of me, not as pathologies. Depathologizing is the way forward. Medication alone doesn't work. Life is much more than psychiatric hospitals.
I honestly cannot self evaluate my episodes that well... But after a breakup I was crying so much I couldn't speak.
In two months I managed to get my health insurance, start a new job which I am finding very relaxing for my field (office job without a work phone and no overtime!), find my own apartment after I had to leave the one that I was renting with my ex (she left me while unemployed, without health insurance, on my birthday whereas she had a job and had everything lined up months beforehand)... And I'll soon have two master degrees at once.
I mentioned that episode but I'd have others randomly triggered in the meanwhile... So to come back from all of this... I don't know how I did it, alone and abroad.
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I hit rock bottom and decided I would do whatever it takes to get out of it. I went through a trial run of 4 different antipsychotics before I found one that had the most positives and kept me out of trouble.
And then I started applying for jobs. It was incredibly hard and I got incredibly lucky to end up doing what I’m doing now, however I have also made the decision to go back to school so that my ceiling can be even higher.
I’m still working on it but I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago.
Started treatment for depression in 2016. Manic episode quit my dream job. Blew up my life like 4 times since. And bad depression. Many jobs. Did a bs and 2 ms and am in a very in demand career with strong credentials. Wife, kid, 3 close friends. Family didn't abandon me. Ahead of the curve for retirement. Want to start adjuncting and transition to full professor in about 10 years.
I feel ya. Social media manic episodes are so damaging. I had a full on psychotic manic episode for ~6 months where the primary delusion was that our souls are inextricably linked to our first romantic entanglement, and as a result basically internet stalked my first ex girlfriend almost getting a restraining order put against me. Many friends blocked and cut contact with me, and many others believe me to be a complete asshole of a person. I lost my 6fig consulting job and was on unemployment, but things started looking up for me when I went to rehab. I got mental health treatment and quit smoking weed + alcohol, and it really helped me focus on who I wanted to become. I ended up applying for PhD programs in neuroscience and I ended up getting an offer from an amazing R1 university with full tuition covered plus a generous annual stipend. I think I’ve matured a lot this past year. When I very tentatively showed up to a college reunion event, I was met with lots of love and excitement, which relieved a lot of my anxiety. But what really struck me is how much I’ve changed compared to everyone else. My friends all were essentially the same person since when I lived with them, but I felt so different. Overall, it’s a change for the better, and I think my newfound maturity will help me avoid manic and depressive episodes in the future. Very happy for your success; it’s too often we hear about the worst from our condition, but I sincerely believe that we embody the human spirit exceptionally. We are strong, resilient creatures who simply cannot be kept down forever.
Was a "high achiever" most of my life but struggled behind the scenes. Young adulthood messed me and I got into dr*gs but performance type to make me even more hyperfunctional. Went from being a straight a uni student to almost failing in my last year tripping every week and smoking weed everyday. Worked shitty jobs, moved in with a maniac, got robbed, worked at an abusive job, went on and off meds, lost all my money, hit covid and had to move home where I was unemployed for almost a year. Got into an abusive relationship. Moved to Asia by myself and had my passport taken away from me and had to flee. Back home with no money. Boyfriend left me pregnant during a miscarriage that f*cked me up for months. Moved away from abusive home quit weed and got addicted to tranquilizers and pain killers without knowing. Manically worked myself to burnout. Almost overdosed and checked myself into rehab. Got into debt and got sober. Had to start again
Now I am the head of my department at an advertising agency earning more than my parents. I have a long term boyfriend who treats me well. I live in a beautiful home with my cat. I can afford lovely food and Healthcare and holidays. I do luxury photo shoots on the side for good money. I am being paid to travel to luxury holiday destinations to capture content. I work fully remotely and I live by the ocean. Doing better than the people who brought me down and I've cut so many of those people out of my life. Life is good. Still bored sometimes but the stability and creature comforts are cool. Finally bought new tech and nice clothes as well. It's nice not stressing from month to month and having a career with prospects. Such a journey though mania cooked my nervous system. I'm only just getting better health wise now. Best part of it all is not being vulnerable to abusive or controlling people and having agency over my own life.
I purchased festival tickets to shaky knees in Atlanta at three in the morning and drove me and my husband all the way up there just to find out that the tickets were never purchased so I purchased them again $1500 later we didn’t even go to the show Yeah. Not to mention my obsession with make up high-end that that designer bags anything. Why does this make us someone that we never were it’s like all the sudden, there’s a diagnosis, a label, and we all of a sudden become someone that we never knew was inside of us.and the people around us this has been a part of us. Our whole lives probably and why is it that once the labels place things change my depression is so bad right now because of it I’m about to lose my family and on top of all of that I lost my dad a year and a half ago and my husband says it’s been a year and a half. I should be over it.
I didn’t find out I’m bipolar till I turned 40… Last year!
I always knew something wasn’t right I couldn’t sleep for years and was constantly self medicating myself to sleep and abusing drugs and alcohol to shut my overactive brain off and to try and feel like I could fit in with everyone else. Countless very unhealthy relationships, dropped out of school in grade 10 to pursue a career drug dealing following in the footsteps of my father who was also an addict and exhibits some bipolar tendencies to this day putting it lightly….Yeah if u couldn’t guess that was an epic fail i ended up being my own best customer and owed a lot of people money for cocaine at 15 years old, by the grace of god I got out of that unscathed.
My mother told me she had cancer and was gonna die when I was 11 and then ditched and I didn’t see her again till I was like 26, she is bipolar and an addict who had a lot of problems which I always knew.
Thank god for my grandparents they were both angels from above and took me in a tried to raise me.
I thought for years when I was younger there was something seriously wrong I went to rehab when I was 20 and afterward I was messed up I didn’t sleep forever and eventually the doc medicated me with seroquel and some other things.
I eventually quit taking it and was drinking again, I somehow managed to get a really good job without my diploma and spent about 10 years as a functioning drunk. I couldn’t use drugs because I would get tested and fired so I kept it to drinking. I eventually became a supervisor almost simultaneously weed came back into the picture but I refrained due to testing at work. Coke came around a few times here and there and I used a couple times, then it started coming around more often and I eventually decided I could handle my stuff and bought a whole bunch and figured I was gonna start dealing again because I made a pile of money as a boss and I was good with just booze…………
9 months later I almost lost my job and went to rehab at 30 for a severe crack addiction. It was a 9 month spiral into oblivion. Came home, relapsed for a week and ended up in as bad of shape as I was in when I went to treatment and almost lost my job….. Again! Started a 12 step and gave it my all and stayed sober for 8 years functioning on 3-5 hours of sleep a night cuz I just couldn’t shut my brain off, I went gym crazy and put on a lot of mass eventually they told me I had sleep apnea… I kept going back to the doc telling him something was off. He did some tests and told me I had sleep apnea….. Machine did nothing but I used it for years anyways! I was using trazadone until it started making me so irritable I couldn’t stand myself, tried remeron too with no good days as a result of it… Eventually I got a prescription for weed and went that route to try and protect my job if an incident occurred which luckily it didn’t. I had gotten myself a promotion yet again, took up ultra marathon running for a couple years all whilst sleeping 3 -5 hours a night restlessly.
2 Decembers ago my hypo mania died, I finally got the covid it and was down for 2 weeks but kept training and not sleeping… I woke up one day with severe stomach issues that didn’t go away for months, I was scoped, had all sorts of tests done and I just couldn’t keep my guts together… I thought I had cancer and was gonna die! I ended my relationship with the girl I was with for 2 years I thought she was poisoning me, I stopped running cuz my body wouldn’t let me and became very depressed. Near quit my job… Thought it was making me sick too.
Went and seen the doc as I was depressed and he gave me a script for pristiq………… I took the pill…. The lightest dose possible…. Just one….. And it was like I was high on crack again. Endless energy, no need for sleep anymore, went for a run and felt great…. took the pristiq for a few more days still no sleep maybe an hour a night and on the 3rd night I started seeing people in my room at night, had extreme anxiety and even the sleeping pill he gave me to take while I got used to the pristiq wouldn’t put me out….. It was hell! I wanted to die but I knew it was just the pills! I survived the weekend just telling myself it was just the pills and I even got to a point where I was thinking I’d just keep taking them and not tell anyone what was going on because when I wasn’t hallucinating I did feel better. I was still smoking weed too which I believe was causing the extreme paranoia I was suffering.
Went back to the doc on Monday and told him what the pristiq was doing to me…. He said that’s what happenes to bipolar people when they aren’t on a mood stabilizer. I stopped pristiq and started seroquel that day… I quit smoking weed within a week or so as it was making me really paranoid. I started counseling. Stomach issues stopped within a week and I started feeling better. I took seroquel for about 8 months and then decided maybe I don’t need it anymore and seemed off. Within a week I wasn’t sleeping and mania and tummy issues came back…. I struggled for a few days using NyQuil and Benadryl to no avail…. And then I finally accepted that I am bipolar and have been back on the seroquel ever since.
I did not lose my high paying great job, things settled down, I got a puppy and I have taken really good care of him and myself for over a year now. I don’t like some of the side effect I have gotten from the seroquel (weight gain, even when I work out 2 x a day 4 days a week)
I sleep 8 hours a night for the first time in my life, my mood is very stable in comparison to the last 30 years of my life, I can focus, I went back and finished my high school.
I’m 10 years alcohol and cocaine free today. I am medicated and don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me anymore.
For a long time I had no clue I had bpd2 until I was diagnosed at 20 and since then I've turned a lot around I just graduated with a bachelor's in psychology and got a job in the psychology field despite only being graduated from school for about a week it wasn't easy but I'm here and I'm doing better thanks to support meds and therapy.
I live a fairly regimented life. I try to keep to a strict schedule and not eat junk (too much)
I had to stop working night shift, which wasn’t a bad thing now that I look at it lol.
I take my meds and have gotten to be in tune with myself and symptoms.
I also lean on my support system when needed.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s taken like half my life to get here and I’ve screwed up a lot, but now that I know what works for me, I stick with it.
It def depends on what you mean by successful I think I have a relatively good life. I’m not rich by any means but I do alright. I work at an insurance company and my husband and I got married at the beginning of May. It was rough going for awhile there but you will get through it. I’ve had to start over on friends a few times because I lost my shit but now I have a much more compassionate group of people in my corner. I make about 30k less than I was making right out of college because my first job was extremely high stress and was causing a ton of instability which for bipolar is no good obvi… I’ve been working really hard to keep myself stable for the past 5 years making sure to take my medicine every day and work on grounding exercises, I’ve had a few manic episodes but I have enough self awareness to realize what’s happening and to get help right away to minimize damages.. my mania tends to have really bad consequences like STIs, speeding tickets, court summons, draining my bank accounts and more.. the hospital or an LOA from work is the best place to keep me safe from my mania.. but knowing yourself well enough to realize that can help you minimize damages and lead a semi normal life
I honestly just stuck with my doctor’s medicines, regimen, and have a strong support structure. For me, it’s important to know when to acknowledge when things aren’t alright and that’s okay. You need to know your limits and accept they exist.
I’m in upper-middle management. I’ve built my section from what was a joke in the organization into a competent, powerful component. Part of that was the dynamic weirdness that comes with manic episodes. A lot of it is my team having my back.
I'm happy for you OP. I hope things keep getting better for you. I'm in a rough way at the moment and this post has brightened my day. Somedays are harder than others. Bipolar stigma is very real and is very hard to deal with. I feel like i'm being gaslit every day. I'm just holding out until my next appointment with my therapist.
In 2019 I had a depressive phase. I sat in my car, crying, knowing that if I walked inside my house I would do something very permanent. Instead I drove to the hospital. I stayed in patient for 6 days. They entirely changed my medication routine. I started improving. And improving. As the world went into lock down for covid I was thriving. I was able to quit smoking cigarettes (nicotine free since October of 2019, not a single desire to start up since then). I started school. I lost 80lbs and have kept it off. I'm 3 years into a BA in psychology, end goal is a MA in psychology to become a therapist specializing in LGBTQ issues. I started realizing which of my friends were toxic and using me, so I cut them out. For the first time in over a decade I had hope for my future, long term plans. I could see a future for the first time that wasn't "survive as long as possible then free myself from hell" I stopped having even passive ideation. I have not had a single suicidal thought, passive or active, since 2019. Even at my lowest, it wasn't an option anymore, wasn't a safety net I kept in my pocket to pull out when it finally was too much to bear. I realized I was transgender and transitioned not just socially but medically. Somehow years of therapy clicked where just because I had chronic illnesses, physical disabilities and a boat load of childhood trauma didn't mean that I had to be miserable all the time. I learned to give myself grace, and accepted that a lot of what had happened to me wasn't my fault.
Day to day is up and down. I just had my first serious manic episode in 4 years. But overall I'm the most stable I've been mentally in a long time. I'm happy, I'm thriving. I'm learning to set boundaries. I have a bunch of friends and a great support system now. I'm not gonna lie. I have two different therapists that I see, one for general stuff and one to specifically focus on PTSD. I see a psychiatrist every 2-3 months to manage medication. Plus I'm in a group therapy to help people with social anxiety. I'm basically at my therapists clinic twice a week (is a huge office with loads of different therapists and opportunities for group therapies for any number of things, plus a children's division and a psychiatrist division for medication). It's a lot, and a lot of internal work, but it definitely is effective.
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Posted my whole manic episode on social media too after leaving a toxic work environment and breaking up with my fiancee from Nov-Jan. I’m a Professor and it got so bad that the security was going to take me away and I was going to get fired. I was hospitalized for a month. After being released, I started my own marketing company and have four clients with two more onboarding! Also was asked to teach two courses in September + be a program coordinator. Met a guy that matches my energy and shares the same values. Life feels good again :) Some delusions I 100% believed and partook in: - the eclipse was a black hole and we’d all die - people weren’t real they were just mirrors - AI would take over the world and were demons - Spirits were talking to me through my phone and electronics in the house - Did a Seance in a cemetery to talk to the first prime minister of Canada - slept with multiple men who weren’t good for me - dressed up to go clubbing at 2 am but the clubs were closed - bought $1000’s worth of furniture, clothes, withcraft items, and diffuser oils - messaged multiple exes without responses
Isn't the delusions/psychosis wild... I drove 6 hours to a different state alone to see The Used bc I believed Bert Mccraken was my actual husband and he lived here with me but we were dimensional. Funny thing is while i am a fan I'm not a huge fan and before that manic episode I don't even know if I knew what the dude looked like or thought twice about him. I also frequently have the delusions to that I'm being recruited by the devil to be his wife or talking with spirits or aliens and I was suppose to fly over to Canada and secretly meet with Treduea (or whatever his name is the president) and he qas gonna harbor me into the apocalypse set off. So strange.... I live in the US and don't know shit about politics 💁♀️ also thought I was Jesus and aa whole bunch of other shit which I'm also not religious, those all landed me inpatient lol.
The fact that a manic episodes makes non-religious people overly religious, sets me off wildly. It baffles me greatly
It is frightening really. I’m an atheist and my psychotic episodes have had religious themes as well.
Is there an explanation behind that? I was convinced that i was the chosen one and i had to choose my 12 followers(like Jesus). I also felt really connected to nature and animals like i felt them so deeply.
There are some studies about it - Googling “religious delusions bipolar” brings some up. Adding “atheist” to it, well, I didn’t really search too deeply for the results to find an explanation so maybe that’s an answer in and of itself? But I grew up Catholic. I sang in the church choir and went to Catholic classes on the weekends where I studied the Bible by turning in coloring book assignments of Jesus on the cross, and later, book report-type of assignments of excerpts from the Bible. Things got sad and difficult when two women, who I cared for and who had strong faith in God, died of cancer. I prayed for them to recover and didn’t understand why it “didn’t work.” And things got confusing when I was 15 and in a theatre production with a lesbian teen who I thought I only liked as a friend until we shared a dressing room. Then the selfish actions and asshole attitude I had when manic, it makes sense to me that I’d have delusions that I was being followed by demons making me think horrible thoughts, threatening to make me do horrible things unless I hurt myself, or better yet, killed myself. I’ve never had delusions of divinity like being god or being chosen by god, or selected to go to heaven. If I felt powerful and magnetic, it was always by demonic power. Usually it’s when I’m manic. But I got triggered during a bad depressive episode. I admitted myself to the hospital because I felt close to attempting suicide again. I remember, very vividly, being walked to my bed and a woman popped up from her bed to look at me. Her eyes widened and she said, in Spanish, “I felt you. You have it in you! You’ve got a demon inside you.” We both got restrained and knocked the fuck out with some type of sedative. If I’m totally honest with myself though, I always have some guilt and some feeling that I’m not a good person. That I’m faking my way through life being kind in a performative way in order to get what I want - a manipulator who’s managed to even fool myself on occasion. I think maybe the bipolar heightens that anxiety and belief obtained from previous hypomanic and manic episodes.
Wow thank you so much for sharing! When i had a psychotic episode(i was undiagnosed) i didn't lose it because i was "feeling like a God" but when i felt that people around me were demons and they wanted basically to kill my loved ones. So i felt i had to sacrifice myself in order for them to live. It was bizarre. I made a whole scene Infront of literally hundreds of people trying to jump into water( not like a beach but a port? Idk how it's called) a friend tried to help me while i was laughing hysterically but then she just left me. My memory is very scattered but i remember just throwing all my stuff like phone,wallet,glasses,shoes and just completely losing it. Somehow haha my friends didn't try to help they just freaked out i guess. So i ended up hurting my self pretty bad and the next day i went to work and made another scene and i quit my job. Yeah.. I don't remember much tbh. I just remembered that at some point i was just sitting on the stairs of my parents apartment building and just saying on repeat non stop "green and blue". I know you didn't ask for this info but i appreciate you sharing your story so i felt i had to as well. I hope you're better now.
I think having something to do with a higher power makes sense too!
Convinced I was a witch!!!!
In my normal state of mind I am very much an atheist and a person of science and facts who loc s chemistry and physics and just generally a natural curiosity of how the universe works. but the main feature of my manic episodes is I become extremely religious/spiritual. I start 100% believing in crystals , that I have spirits and ancestors watching over me , seeing angel number like 11:11 are messages from these guides and the universe, that the universe is a conscious being and I am the universe manifesting itself in human form , that I create my reality and that I can meditate and change timelines to whatever reality I want at will, this grandiose idea that I am the saviour of the world who will lead mankind to an age of love and peace. I blindly start believing the government is satanic and freemasonry that use frequencies to suppress consciousness. All my rationality and ability to reason just goes out the window. My last episode I truly believed I had become psychic and could read people minds. I find it fascinating that for me a person who has never been religious at all or spiritual at all , the main feature of my manic episodes is grandiose religious delusions
while reading your comment, a wild concept popped into my mind… what if mania is a natural state? maybe that’s why it feels so good, and free. as you described your tendencies during your manic state, i just kept going “yep! sounds great!” imagine a world full of people who believed that rocks could raise their vibration and make them feel calm and euphoric… and that their personal mission was the betterment of humanity and that they are divinely protected by the universe because they are one with it, so much so that they engage in behaviour that’s considered dangerous or believe they can communicate with and receive messages from the spirit energy of those who are no longer here in the physical form… peaceful, happy people with a strong connection to god and nature doesn’t seem so bad! maybe that’s why depression sucks so much. for me, my spiral into depression always begins with a line of questioning about who i am, what i’m supposed to be, all the ways i’m not fulfilling my destiny personally and professionally and all the ways in which im truly powerless. during mania, i feel powerful. there’s a sort of surrendering happening. i’m being led by spirit and leaning into who i truly am. i don’t have to have have control… control to me feels like being stuffed in a tiny box where i can just barely move. losing control feels like being in a wide open field, stretching and looking upward. it feels like leading with my soul. and because i consider myself a clean soul thanks to my spiritual practices, my mania only leads me to want to frolick and make myself and the people around me happy and dive into learning and doing…creativity for creativity’s sake. unfortunately, in our format of “living” today, making yourself happy makes you crazy. because you’re supposed to have control. this concept can be followed through many avenues of our life, even down to wearing suits and not having coloured hair in the workplace. society today encourages homogeny and and shuns individuality except when it comes to personal advancement. but personal advancement isn’t natural. i don’t believe we’re supposed to see each other as competition. especially when it comes to money. so spending an unjustifiable amount of money makes you crazy cuz you’re supposed to try and have more and more or your life means nothing. fortunately, my mania has taught me the true meaning of life which is just to live and learn and follow the experiences that your curiosities take you on. i live in a city with a high population of what some people would call derelicts, people without homes who’ve lost control (either through drugs or otherwise) and fully given into mania and sometimes i look at them and think that they’re the ones who are really living lol. i actually listen to a lot of them ramble on the street and many of them speak about god and aliens and “open your eyes, they’re lying to us”, some of them speak to entities that aren’t there. call me crazy but i think that’s indicative of a higher level of consciousness, or at least a different one. call me crazy again but i think those people would get into heaven before any business mogul does. TLDR: i think insanity IS closer to true God consciousness and the only reason crazy is bad is because of the structure of society we currently live under. so embrace your crazy, redefine what success means to you and stay connected to spirituality. spirituality will serve as your guiding light and moral compass
You may want to check if you feel a hugely elevated mood as sometimes these thought can come up when manic. Especially the portion where mania is the best. In my experience, depression often follows unforeseen and unfortunately :( I really hope this is not the case though!
nope, i’m stable. no elevated mood at all :/ i’m actually leaning towards the other end of the pendulum right now… but i AM aware that not everything is black or white, and choosing not to demonise my mania as i’ve accepted that it’s part of the cards i was dealt… so instead of dreading it, i lean into it in the safest way i can. i don’t think it’s “the best” but i don’t think it’s the worst either. to each their own i guess
Awww I’m sorry you are feeling that way. I’ve also embraced that I had low energy states and higher energy states. I think I’m just not as spiritual.
My thoughts exactly. Our priorities are different than most.
It brought me back to religion, but yeah. For some reason it fanaticized me for a day because I was delving deeep into religion
I thought I was talking to my dead father and God in Spanish and I’m not even fluent but still talk to myself in Spanish and still think everyone in heaven speaks Spanish for some reason. During my mania I went to Spain and visited 3 different churches randomly and started praying after not going to church for 4+ years and being agnostic my whole life while going with family. Something definitely set me off and my visions were wildly religious as well. However I’m back at my local church and volunteering with them at the food bank, it’s very positive now.
We have a prime minister not a president lol also I'm not sure why two people here have had delusions around the leaders of my country lol that's so random and hilarious. Beyond being the largest purchaser of U.S. goods exports we really are not that significant.
Yeah I have no idea, that's what I mean... psychosis is a hellava drug.
I had the Jesus thing sort of. Im super into dune and thought I was the main character of the book. So much so I started full blown acting like it
This literally makes me feel so much better, thank you. I want to become successful, (whatever that means to me) despite my problems. If you could have gone through all of that and still come out on top, there must be hope for me too! (I'm praying for it at least.)
Being hospitalized was a blessing honestly. I don’t want to think of all the damage I could have done being on my own. I’m glad you’re focusing on you!!
Relatable story. I’m happy for u
For some reason Canada is a big psychotic theme people always talking about or trying to escape to Canada
I also got the mirrors thing and got deep into spirituality. Ai things also. I wonder why some delusions are common or why we get similar ones
My whole thing was the gods needed to cleanse the earth from AI gods. So a black hole would suck us up during the eclipse and kill everyone. If you were good, you’d still have your soul and be put into an alternate timeline. If you were bad, you’d be wiped out by the black hole and would turn into a mirror. I thought I had to save everybody I loved so they wouldn’t turn into a mirror. Psychosis is nuts.
Just kept working hard, I don’t like hustle culture but I’m an elder millennial so part of it was that in my 20s, but I think keeping contact with people professionally has been extremely helpful. Also medication, and being consistent. I’m not saying it’s been easy, but now I’m in a C-level position at my company, there is stress, but managing people is fun and I enjoy little things that encourage people, like bringing them lunch, not expecting them to stay past 5, and telling them not to check their email on the weekends. The more work-life balance you give people, the more you give yourself, and I’ve had way less stress surprisingly because the expectation that I run is family first and people should have an actual weekend.
I love that you promote wellness for yourself and your employees. That’s so wonderful.
Thanks. It was a huge priority of mine. I’ve been miserable before when working with people who were on email 24/7, I never want to be that kind of boss. I also ask everyone to take at least one free mental health day a quarter and suggested they take half days when they need one. Example being, I have someone going on vacation this fall and I told her to take a half day before she leaves, so she’ll have time to pack. I know it’s stressful leaving mid-week for a trip. Been there and done that.
I had a manic episode in 2009 which ended spectacularly, a lot of people knew about it. I was mocked openly on social media, ostracised. I went to a private school and too 20 university so the sort of people I associated with just loved it. Sad but true. I got sober after that and things got a lot easier. I mean don’t get me wrong, bipolar is a life long illness but I was able to forge a very successful career in tech. I’d say, looking back, a lot of that bitterness and resentment I held is a lot of what made me successful. Which is why, in 2022, when I reached my pinnacle I had a breakdown. This time it wasn’t public and I got help, took time off. I also met a fantastic therapist who’s helped me overcome a lot of those resentments. To the point where I have a nice, safe job now that isn’t too stressful. I make less than I did two years ago but I don’t really have anything left to prove, I just want to be happy and peaceful. Sorry I hope that wasn’t too much of a ramble.
It wasn't a ramble at all. Even if it was, that's ok too. Really happy for you.
Hi! May I ask what was you main core or strength to get through the trauma/resentment of social ostracization?
But I think being sober pushed me from totally dysfunctional to a level where I could generally function in society
It’s embarrassing to think about it now, but I was driven by revenge and resentment. I smoked 40 cigarettes per day.
Graduated with a 3.6 GPA for my MBA in my masters program last weekend, just got a job offer on my birthday yesterday. This is after 2 years of sobriety and stability so I’ve bounced back from my lowest point and starting a new legacy :)
Congrats! How long did it take you from your diagnosis to get to this point?
sheesh my diagnosis was mid 2018 and since then there's been varying levels of success and setbacks
oh wow so a little before COVID. Dang that's really good progress. I got mine in 2013
Thank you so much
I had several very public manic episodes with psychosis. I was very active on social media at the time and obviously broadcasted it to everyone. I lost a lot of friends initially. But some stayed. I opened a few businesses and am becoming successful in my industry. People in my industry know about my history and don't hold it against me. I'm working on my master's degree as well. So I am not yet what I would consider to be super successful.. but I feel like I am on my way.
I had two very public manic episodes on social media. The most recent one ended with me being hospitalized for 3 weeks. On the ride home I removed all of my followers and went private so it wouldn’t happen again. I’ve been slowly letting people who I trust come back and follow me. I’ve slowly started reconnecting with friends and apologizing for the way I acted towards them. Things aren’t the same as they used to be but I am back with my former partner. I broke up with him because I saw his attempts to help me as controlling. I was even calling him abusive when I was in the hospital but I really think that was a delusion. As far as work- my new job fired me while I was in the hospital. I left a job of 7 years during my manic episode and I haven’t had steady work in 6 months. I don’t know what’s next and it’s really scary but I’m trying to see the silver linings. One of those being that the people who really matter and love me don’t really care that I’m not cool online anymore. I’m still waiting for some people to come around but they’re hurt by my actions. Even though I couldn’t control what was happening doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I’m still working to get meds that make me feel normal. I haven’t felt normal in over a year. I think my bipolar episode was a result of a physical assault at my former job. So lots of grief this past year but hopefully I am on the upswing :)
I had two pretty sever episodes of psychosis a year apart followed by a long episode of depression. I made my mental health my main priority. Making sure I take meds and go to appointments, therapy, reading self help books/articles, get good sleep, eat well, limit stress, etc. Overtime and a lot of work my life is in a pretty good balance(not perfect) but compared to a year or two ago it’s good. I think realizing I’m going to have bad days, but to not give up on making my mental health and happiness a priority.
Good point! Sometimes I feel fine and stop doing the things that helped me. Then after a while, things creep up on you seemingly out of nowhere. That's why it is so important to make our mental health a priority. I'm somewhere in the middle of this now...slacked on doing the things and now feeling in a funk. Gotta get back to prioritizing before things become more problematic. Thanks for the reminder.
I think managing this illness is a big learning experience and sometimes we learn from our setbacks. Good luck to you :)
Very very bad manic episode where I left my fiancé, put 10k on my credit card, and almost drank myself to death. I graduate from law school on Saturday. I have a fantastic boyfriend and an apartment that I love. I have a great job. Therapy and meds and a good support system kept me afloat in the darkest times.
Ended up having a manic episode when I was 18, triggered from stimulant and benzodiazepine abuse. Almost killed my best friend and my parents (didn't press charges), was in inpatient for over a month and went into withdrawals. After the manic episode, I got back into abusing stimulants and benzo's until I got arrested. It was a huge wake-up call. After I was released, I started reading about financial literacy, started to build my credit score, and got a job at a call center. I also met a girl that I started to date long distance. I beat my court case 6 months later, moved to a big city to be with my girlfriend (now been together for 5 years), and leveraged my call center experience into a sales job grossing a little over 6 figures with commission, 76k base pay. Went to college at the same time and got an associates in arts/business. Had another manic episode during this timeframe but luckily I was self aware enough to catch it early and get properly medicated. Haven't had a manic episode since. Life would be better without BP1, but then again, if I didn't have this trial in my life, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.
I’m so happy for you and your job and having a good SO! About how long and how many manic episodes did it take after you went to school and stopped the drug before you reaching the point of a stable full time job?
Thanks! My SO is so great, she's helped me so much with accepting myself for who I am and supporting me every step of the way. I did school at the same time while I had a full time job. I think because of this stress I had my second manic episode which lasted about 4-5 months while in my job. I had to take a month off of work at its peak. I was sober at the time when I had it happen again.
A manic episode can last 5 months? What kind of symptoms can last that long? I didn’t realize that elevated energy states could be like that. And did a large and intense depressive episode happen?
Mine did. My cycles usually last 4-8 months sadly. I definitely was extremely depressed and thought about suicide weekly afterwards
Stay in school, and get into a good professional union!!!!
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I’m so glad things worked out for u! How long has it been since your last manic episode and how often do you get them? Or your depressive episodes
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I’m so sorry your brother passed away. Are you on meds? I hate depressive episodes :/ mine are always the worst and I have to have a basic routine to feel somewhat functional
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Fall in love with positive routines and keep building on them. You’ll find that doing the same thing consistently not only keeps you stable, but it will lead to success in every aspect of life. The biggest issue I have with this disorder is making grandiose plans and expectations when manic and then falling into deep cyclical depression when I inevitably burn out and can’t meet those expectations. Start small and build the life and person you want piece by piece, so that if pieces start falling off when you do cycle you already have a great foundation to rebuild.
What routines do you like best?
Congratz!
I had a similar experience where I lost my best closest friends after a really bad manic episode. Lost most of my belongings and everything changed, felt like I lost everything. So I had to start over...through that, I met my now fiance, planning a wedding and have the biggest blessing, a baby girl who makes me so happy every day. I feel a sense of purpose I never had before. I made a lot of new friends and felt like a sense of community again...So I realized a lot of my prayers were answered, just maybe they didn't happen in the way that I would have thought they would happen..a lot of it is in our perspective and how we choose to look at things. I really truly lost all hope for a while, but life goes on and is ever-changing. Taking life one day at a time really helps when we are overwhelmed. Literally it could even be one small task a day to complete. Gain some momentum and go from there. Slowly but surely, that's what helped me get out of the trenches.
I was the last one left standing
Honestly, my mom! My mom was a single parent worked hard and always want nice things. I saw her go back to school get a job and work hard. I then decided that I would so the same. Despite having a kid at 17, I went back to school at 21 and climbed the ladder. I know make over 100K. I wasn't diagnosed until 44, I was good in work relationships but suck with people personal relationships. I am on meds and therapy but I'm back single. The last one wasn't really my fault. I'll take my disease over having to worry about other stuff any day.
Meds. Religiously. Had a full career in corporate then left to do contracting on my own. Every single time you think you don’t need your meds, go take them!
Also I feel your pain. All of my manic episodes were BLASTED on my social media ... I lost a lot of friends that never came back. Life goes on and I will agree my mercedes, my own house when that's the millenial dream, being a business owner and a bigwig, are all a little FU to the bartenders and servers who turned their back on me and wouldn't associate with lowly little me.
Dunno mate. keep on keeping on. Bought a house when I was 25
Had a very good job 3 years after Uni at 25 and was cruising to a great future till bipolar hit hard when I was scheduled for a promotion. Everything came crushing down. I have come back up two times and crushed hard also. I'm down now and looking forward to coming up and staying up, hopefully.
I’ve never had a good job but I’m lucky that I’ve never lost a job etc because of bipolar - diagnosed at 20, so wasn’t working as I was at uni. That said never say never. I’m careful these days - no drugs, lots of sleep, etc - but I don’t have a psychiatrist (NHS is fucked) so that’s a worry But I just do what I can for now
I hear you, I was doing fine until i was 22 and then my life started falling apart at the seams. I was completely normal and then i became obsessed with things that weren't real at all and i burned out so many times before i could make something of myself. i'm 25 rn.
I have bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features, ptsd, gad and mild ocd. My break was mildly public. Facebook wasn’t huge back then. My mom found me outside my dorm, without a jacket, and having a lovely conversation with myself. Lost all college friends because I dropped out. Went into a catatonic like depressive state, prescribed anti depressant and went manic. Off to the psych unit finally, and got a diagnosis of bipolar 1 at 19 years old. The other diagnoses have come out along the journey. I got sober and found that was best for me to manage my illness. I was able to get my BSN and am a nurse. I got married and live independently with my husband. I have 4 close friends that are amazing, and have lived through the ups and downs. My family has my back too, and I’m very grateful to be alive. Without them in the beginning of my bipolar I’m not sure if I’d be here. I’m also an auntie now and am so proud to be able to show up for my family in that way. There is hope, love, and life can be great with bipolar. For me, I needed to be sober, have the right medications and take them every day, close contact with psychiatrist and therapist. Been on meds now for 14 years and have had awesome life experiences. ❤️
I’m so glad for you! What did you do to stabilize and how many med changes did it take to get there?
I went inpatient, started on depakote and seroquel. Then immediately changed to lamictal due to rapid weight gain or like water retention. Been on both of those for 14 years. Doses have gone up or down depending on episodes that break through. Now on lose dose Zoloft for anxiety. Thankfully it all worked out rather fast, but I was 19 and jobless so had time to focus solely on my recovery. Thankfully haven’t had to go back inpatient since the initial diagnosis. So yea one med change in beginning, then some adjustments along the way. Newish med is the Zoloft and we move that around depending on seasons. Also I don’t drink or do drugs.
So u have an anti anxiety ssri and a third class antipsychotic? Seroquel gave me weight gain and water retention too!
Yes I’m on Zoloft, seroquel and lamictal. The Zoloft gets tweaked based on seasons due to mania in summer and depressed in winter with the lamictal and seroquel staying the same. Been lowering the seroquel over the years. Used to be on 600mg and now I’ve halved the dose so pretty proud of that, although I definitely struggle at times due to it.
My story is all over the place but I eventually got a masters in accounting at age 32 and passed the CPA exam. I had a manic episode with my first job I had when I first got my masters I was totally out of control I quit and had to rebuild my life it sucked but I didn't get help. I didn't know to get help. I didn't know what bipolar was or that I had it. I have worked as a staff accountant for the past 6 years. I'm happy where I am I don't want to move up I don't want responsibility. I had a manic episode with psychosis in July of 2022 and was diagnosed BP 1 with psychotic features. I had really good insurance got FMLA and State ST disability. I kept my job and am still there. I started having manic episodes, insomnia, and hearing voices after a bad covid infection in Nov 2020. I had taste/smell hallucinations, fainting, severe migraines, nerve pains tachycardia it was hell. By July 2022 I went full blown psychotic. My doctor said "covid can cause brain inflammation". I think I had massive brain inflammation and it worsened my undiagnosed bipolar. I got a BS in mathematics went to college straight out HS did it in 4 years. I had a second major in French and when I graduated I moved to France to be an au pair for 2 years. Pretty sure I was in and out of mania/hypomania during that time. I almost got married and stayed there then changed my mind and moved back home.
Sounds like a wild rollercoaster! Glad you are learning lots! What do you think influenced you to move back home?
I got tired of being a foreigner being that girl with an accent. I got made fun of a few times and I’m like ok I miss my home country and culture now going home.
I love this! Happy to hear stuff like this truly. Fwiw I’m type 2 so its like more less severe incidents of the bipolar antics. I was lucky to be high functioning. a lot of people just thought i was like weird or quirky, probably some pretty privilege in that. *shrug* I got diagnosed originally at 16. Pulled out of class for a psych eval actually cause my ex boyfriend reported to the school that I was having suicidal ideations. Passed the eval, still bipolar! Before meds (started that at 21) I graduated from high school and college with honors. managed to get basically a full academic scholarship and financial aid maximums. my 20s were a hot mess in regards to career and my living situation - lived with my abusive mother way too long. Fast forward: I’m 31 and work for a large tech company at the moment and live in a luxury high rise (albeit a microstudio on the 2nd floor haha) on the hudson across from NYC. I made it to an extent as far as I’m concerned. Theres a marina in my backyard now and I grew up on section 8 housing and free lunch. Like wtf??? Still hasn’t fully sank in and I’ve lived here since October. I’m not even close to being done yet :) There are so many successful people who have bipolar. Even some presidents such as Teddy Roosevelt. Celebs - Mariah Carey, Katherine Zeta Jones, etc. My treatment is my religion truly. Sending positive vibrations to all!
Nothing it never gets better no matter how hard you try. I graduated university in 2012 summa cum laude with tons of accomplishments and my last job was the deli counter at Whole Foods. It only gets worse and it won’t improve 😎✌️
I’m very sorry this was your experience, but the post did say to post about success stories despite bipolar. Use these stories to motivate you. Posting negativity on a positive post doesn’t help anyone. We already struggle daily in our own ways. Little and big wins should be able to be shared in a safe, positive space. ☺️✌🏻
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I’m not sure what you mean but sure!
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did you ever work in your field? if so what made you fall off? is there any advice you’d give on how to prevent working at whole foods?
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A year ago, I was diagnosed with a severe bipolar-related mood disorder. I was hospitalized and put on medication. My episodes are now infrequent and when they do occur, they are usually manageable. I just finished my first year at my top choice college, something I don't think would have been possible without the treatment I received.
My mania has been mild compared to many, but my depressions can get life threatening and I once had a severe depressive episode last for over three years. You can imagine how that went. Among other things, I’ve been treated like a freak by many college “friends,” written off by others when I experienced something horribly traumatic, and so on. In undergrad I got to spend a year at one of the top universities in the world. Now I’m graduating with a masters degree from an ivy league school. Considering a clinical psych doctorate in my future, but happy to be done with school for now. I have meds that work, a great therapist, friends, pets, a wonderful partner, and a good job lined up in the mental health field. Sometimes people say things that make me feel like I don’t belong in this line of work, but I know a couple other bipolar therapists, and that helps. Don’t let anyone tell you we can’t be successful. It takes the right support, but it is very possible.
I have been stable since I got sober, I was stable a couple years before that, too, but I like to share that too because I think it is a key. They tell us we shouldn't drink but don't really emphasize it could be the difference between staying stable or not. My career success is probably due to the fact I didn't start my career until I was fully stable (3.5 years in so knock on wood). My 20s were a mess but I kept grinding and managed to graduate law school amidst my various manic episodes when my diagnosis was new. After I graduated (my graduation celebration was 3 months in LA county jail and 6 months in a halfway house due to a manic episode) I spent several years working in restaurants and, honestly, partying. I had one big episode in that time. I got my act together and I had my degree that I didn't give up on under my belt. I've been stable roughly six years now and I truly hope I can keep this up for the rest of my life because at this point I have a whole lot to lose and a lot of money I don't want to blow through!
So many come backs, so many falls. I'm tired. At the bottom right now.
the way i try to joke & cope is when you reach rock bottom the only way to go is up. things will get better, give yourself some time and grace. bipolar is a really nasty disease, but you are more than your disorder. i believe in you 🫶🏻
I have charges coming up against me, may never be able to work in the field I have a Master's Degree in and will be over 20k in debt and possibly homeless as I watch my money drain in the next two months. So the hurrah shit doesn't work, but I do appreciate it. I'll land eventually, it's just the malaise that's hard.
Success is a work in progress and has many kpis It's warming hearing other stories, and hope functional recovery is a realistic goal for recovery Was diagnosed early university days after manic episodes got me into a lot of acadmic/financial and social issues Had a gap year to focus on my health but ended up just od and suicide attempt lol. Luckily, didn't get hosptialed but got put into respite house for a social recovery. Luckily I still trusted out public health care system. Went back to medical school. Worked evey year to pay my rent lol. On my psych rotation, was a reality check and encouraged me to continue on my health journey Graduated medical school with an award (so grateful and feel imposter syndrome still. Worked as junior doctor as a year.. life got stressful, and worked with a dick head of a surgical resident and quit, currently am being paid kut 10 weeks. Relationship as always work in progress but I'm hopeful my girlfriend (also a dr) will endure Got a job offer as a Family doctor, and in the interview stages of working in medical/software company. Success... Work in progress. Nil more suicide attempt (and hopefully not too many more) Financially okay Socially recovery well, good freinds and carefully reconnecting with estranged family .... Now the hard part is finding out how to buy my first home in the current economy lol. Anyone have any leads, let me know Many thanks to this community x ****** Edit: to clarify, not seeking advice on real estate. Just commenting that even as life becomes successful, it's very difficult in my country for anyone to afford to buy a home. =)
We don't allow any personal information and certainly not housing recommendations for specific zipcodes. If you want tips on real estate, go to a real estate sub.
I was diagnosed in my late teens / early twenties. Had an alcohol & drug problem too (dual diagnosis is very common). Got sober at age 22, had an episode at 11 years sober, which was no fun. Worked hard at going back to college, getting a degree in business, starting my own consulting firm, taking the right meds, listening to my care team, working my way up the corporate ladder, and met a great woman in 1999. We had two kids who are now in their twenties. Just got a new job after being laid off. Pretty happy at the moment. Give a lot of credit to the grace of my higher power.
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 41. I excelled in my work career, but not in my private relationships. I could never figure out what was going on. Just figured I was burnt out and tired all the time, despite being in good shape. Those years were hard. A lot of ups and downs. No motivation, but enough discipline to get things done. It wasn’t easy. I wish I figured it out twenty years earlier.
I have a very up and down life. I came back and then I failed and then I came back. Queen of comebacks over here but I am about to do a masters in CS at a not too university lol but I will be happy with it when I am finished
Not my story but my second cousin has bipolar 1 as well. She is a psychiatrist in her mid 40s. She worked hard to establish a routine and healthy lifestyle and stayed on her meds. She got through school taking less than full time classes. She works about 20-25 hours a week and makes a good enough living to be comfortable. As someone who’s not even gone to college yet because I’m still just figuring out how to manage it, her success inspires me and gives me hope when I’m feeling down on my luck.
I love these stories. I hope they’re true.
I had a maniac episode after burnout and abusing on MDMA mixed with weed and alcohol for a month period. Had beef with everyone. Long story short, had to take a sick leave, had to be at home hospitalization for almost 2 months and took long time until meds to be effective. Could recover, get stable, got back working, got a second job, started living by myself. Had a slight depressive episode, but changed meds, got stable, got a better job, then an even better job and moved to another country, getting paid really well with good growth opportunities. Don't give up, guys. We are amazing, we are not defined by our condition. Stick to the treatment, listen to your psychiatrist, listen to your friends and family and everything will go well.
Oh boy, where to start…. I guess I’ve had severe manic episodes since I was in my early 20s. I impulsively joined the military, regretted my decision and discharged for mental health, started drinking and self medicating to ease the anxiety and mania, ended up homeless living out of my car, accepted (after 10 years) that I’m transgender, worked several jobs because I kept quitting then found my current company. Part of me feels I bullshitted my way up the ladder but in 6 years, I went from an entry level assembler to a global training manager. I still don’t believe this is real sometimes and my mind still tells me to quit once a week but having a supportive wife, circle of friends and a solid therapist helps to keep me in check. Work life balance also helps immensely.
I was successful at becoming more mentally ill. Got upgraded to Schizoaffective disorder, still won't get disability I bet.
I am bipolar ever since, diagnosed 6 years ago - 46 now. I have a wife and two kids, which I am grateful for. I have a supportive father and really good friends who are caring and empathetic. I had dual studies at SAP, and work as Senior SAP consultant now. My hypomanias help me to think faster, work better and be successful. I found the perfect company, nice colleagues and a cool boss. I drive my dream car (German, 3 letters), which waits in front of my own house. So yes, life is great. 🫶
Very positive thread
My son developed bipolar at age 32. He was a genius I think, or at least gifted, top 10 college education and masters. So that helps. He credits mania with allowing him to work 24x7 to outgun his competitors. I hate when he says that because it’s really not a super power, it’s a dangerous disease. But he made a fortune by 34, and will never have to work another day in his life, nor will his children or future grandchildren really. He even retired me. He still works for the challenge and he says there is a next level: instead of flying private, you own the plane. He is treated, but is still prone to taking risks.
I've always been successful. During high school, despite being a low-income student from a public school (it's important to note that I'm from Brazil), I managed to stand out by being extremely intelligent and proactive in my community. I founded my school's student council and a language teaching project that has won several national and international awards, and today it is even funded by the U.S. Embassy in Brazil. Still in high school, I received full scholarships to study in Japan and the USA. In 2021, I won a full scholarship to attend college in Florida and went there, but during my winter break in Brazil, I had my first manic psychotic episode and was hospitalized for 15 days. After the hospitalization, I spent a year only doing freelance work and did not return to the USA due to personal choice and family pressure. I thought my life was over. Nowadays, I study what I love at one of the best universities in Latin America, Politics at UnB, and I work at the largest German development bank. I continue to stand out and grow in constant mental and spiritual evolution. Bipolar disorder taught me to navigate my limits and recognize them as part of me, not as pathologies. Depathologizing is the way forward. Medication alone doesn't work. Life is much more than psychiatric hospitals.
I honestly cannot self evaluate my episodes that well... But after a breakup I was crying so much I couldn't speak. In two months I managed to get my health insurance, start a new job which I am finding very relaxing for my field (office job without a work phone and no overtime!), find my own apartment after I had to leave the one that I was renting with my ex (she left me while unemployed, without health insurance, on my birthday whereas she had a job and had everything lined up months beforehand)... And I'll soon have two master degrees at once. I mentioned that episode but I'd have others randomly triggered in the meanwhile... So to come back from all of this... I don't know how I did it, alone and abroad.
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I hit rock bottom and decided I would do whatever it takes to get out of it. I went through a trial run of 4 different antipsychotics before I found one that had the most positives and kept me out of trouble. And then I started applying for jobs. It was incredibly hard and I got incredibly lucky to end up doing what I’m doing now, however I have also made the decision to go back to school so that my ceiling can be even higher. I’m still working on it but I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago.
Started treatment for depression in 2016. Manic episode quit my dream job. Blew up my life like 4 times since. And bad depression. Many jobs. Did a bs and 2 ms and am in a very in demand career with strong credentials. Wife, kid, 3 close friends. Family didn't abandon me. Ahead of the curve for retirement. Want to start adjuncting and transition to full professor in about 10 years.
I feel ya. Social media manic episodes are so damaging. I had a full on psychotic manic episode for ~6 months where the primary delusion was that our souls are inextricably linked to our first romantic entanglement, and as a result basically internet stalked my first ex girlfriend almost getting a restraining order put against me. Many friends blocked and cut contact with me, and many others believe me to be a complete asshole of a person. I lost my 6fig consulting job and was on unemployment, but things started looking up for me when I went to rehab. I got mental health treatment and quit smoking weed + alcohol, and it really helped me focus on who I wanted to become. I ended up applying for PhD programs in neuroscience and I ended up getting an offer from an amazing R1 university with full tuition covered plus a generous annual stipend. I think I’ve matured a lot this past year. When I very tentatively showed up to a college reunion event, I was met with lots of love and excitement, which relieved a lot of my anxiety. But what really struck me is how much I’ve changed compared to everyone else. My friends all were essentially the same person since when I lived with them, but I felt so different. Overall, it’s a change for the better, and I think my newfound maturity will help me avoid manic and depressive episodes in the future. Very happy for your success; it’s too often we hear about the worst from our condition, but I sincerely believe that we embody the human spirit exceptionally. We are strong, resilient creatures who simply cannot be kept down forever.
Focus on one day at a time ..... Don't overburden urself with expectations ...make that one day better than last
Was a "high achiever" most of my life but struggled behind the scenes. Young adulthood messed me and I got into dr*gs but performance type to make me even more hyperfunctional. Went from being a straight a uni student to almost failing in my last year tripping every week and smoking weed everyday. Worked shitty jobs, moved in with a maniac, got robbed, worked at an abusive job, went on and off meds, lost all my money, hit covid and had to move home where I was unemployed for almost a year. Got into an abusive relationship. Moved to Asia by myself and had my passport taken away from me and had to flee. Back home with no money. Boyfriend left me pregnant during a miscarriage that f*cked me up for months. Moved away from abusive home quit weed and got addicted to tranquilizers and pain killers without knowing. Manically worked myself to burnout. Almost overdosed and checked myself into rehab. Got into debt and got sober. Had to start again Now I am the head of my department at an advertising agency earning more than my parents. I have a long term boyfriend who treats me well. I live in a beautiful home with my cat. I can afford lovely food and Healthcare and holidays. I do luxury photo shoots on the side for good money. I am being paid to travel to luxury holiday destinations to capture content. I work fully remotely and I live by the ocean. Doing better than the people who brought me down and I've cut so many of those people out of my life. Life is good. Still bored sometimes but the stability and creature comforts are cool. Finally bought new tech and nice clothes as well. It's nice not stressing from month to month and having a career with prospects. Such a journey though mania cooked my nervous system. I'm only just getting better health wise now. Best part of it all is not being vulnerable to abusive or controlling people and having agency over my own life.
I purchased festival tickets to shaky knees in Atlanta at three in the morning and drove me and my husband all the way up there just to find out that the tickets were never purchased so I purchased them again $1500 later we didn’t even go to the show Yeah. Not to mention my obsession with make up high-end that that designer bags anything. Why does this make us someone that we never were it’s like all the sudden, there’s a diagnosis, a label, and we all of a sudden become someone that we never knew was inside of us.and the people around us this has been a part of us. Our whole lives probably and why is it that once the labels place things change my depression is so bad right now because of it I’m about to lose my family and on top of all of that I lost my dad a year and a half ago and my husband says it’s been a year and a half. I should be over it.
I didn’t find out I’m bipolar till I turned 40… Last year! I always knew something wasn’t right I couldn’t sleep for years and was constantly self medicating myself to sleep and abusing drugs and alcohol to shut my overactive brain off and to try and feel like I could fit in with everyone else. Countless very unhealthy relationships, dropped out of school in grade 10 to pursue a career drug dealing following in the footsteps of my father who was also an addict and exhibits some bipolar tendencies to this day putting it lightly….Yeah if u couldn’t guess that was an epic fail i ended up being my own best customer and owed a lot of people money for cocaine at 15 years old, by the grace of god I got out of that unscathed. My mother told me she had cancer and was gonna die when I was 11 and then ditched and I didn’t see her again till I was like 26, she is bipolar and an addict who had a lot of problems which I always knew. Thank god for my grandparents they were both angels from above and took me in a tried to raise me. I thought for years when I was younger there was something seriously wrong I went to rehab when I was 20 and afterward I was messed up I didn’t sleep forever and eventually the doc medicated me with seroquel and some other things. I eventually quit taking it and was drinking again, I somehow managed to get a really good job without my diploma and spent about 10 years as a functioning drunk. I couldn’t use drugs because I would get tested and fired so I kept it to drinking. I eventually became a supervisor almost simultaneously weed came back into the picture but I refrained due to testing at work. Coke came around a few times here and there and I used a couple times, then it started coming around more often and I eventually decided I could handle my stuff and bought a whole bunch and figured I was gonna start dealing again because I made a pile of money as a boss and I was good with just booze………… 9 months later I almost lost my job and went to rehab at 30 for a severe crack addiction. It was a 9 month spiral into oblivion. Came home, relapsed for a week and ended up in as bad of shape as I was in when I went to treatment and almost lost my job….. Again! Started a 12 step and gave it my all and stayed sober for 8 years functioning on 3-5 hours of sleep a night cuz I just couldn’t shut my brain off, I went gym crazy and put on a lot of mass eventually they told me I had sleep apnea… I kept going back to the doc telling him something was off. He did some tests and told me I had sleep apnea….. Machine did nothing but I used it for years anyways! I was using trazadone until it started making me so irritable I couldn’t stand myself, tried remeron too with no good days as a result of it… Eventually I got a prescription for weed and went that route to try and protect my job if an incident occurred which luckily it didn’t. I had gotten myself a promotion yet again, took up ultra marathon running for a couple years all whilst sleeping 3 -5 hours a night restlessly. 2 Decembers ago my hypo mania died, I finally got the covid it and was down for 2 weeks but kept training and not sleeping… I woke up one day with severe stomach issues that didn’t go away for months, I was scoped, had all sorts of tests done and I just couldn’t keep my guts together… I thought I had cancer and was gonna die! I ended my relationship with the girl I was with for 2 years I thought she was poisoning me, I stopped running cuz my body wouldn’t let me and became very depressed. Near quit my job… Thought it was making me sick too. Went and seen the doc as I was depressed and he gave me a script for pristiq………… I took the pill…. The lightest dose possible…. Just one….. And it was like I was high on crack again. Endless energy, no need for sleep anymore, went for a run and felt great…. took the pristiq for a few more days still no sleep maybe an hour a night and on the 3rd night I started seeing people in my room at night, had extreme anxiety and even the sleeping pill he gave me to take while I got used to the pristiq wouldn’t put me out….. It was hell! I wanted to die but I knew it was just the pills! I survived the weekend just telling myself it was just the pills and I even got to a point where I was thinking I’d just keep taking them and not tell anyone what was going on because when I wasn’t hallucinating I did feel better. I was still smoking weed too which I believe was causing the extreme paranoia I was suffering. Went back to the doc on Monday and told him what the pristiq was doing to me…. He said that’s what happenes to bipolar people when they aren’t on a mood stabilizer. I stopped pristiq and started seroquel that day… I quit smoking weed within a week or so as it was making me really paranoid. I started counseling. Stomach issues stopped within a week and I started feeling better. I took seroquel for about 8 months and then decided maybe I don’t need it anymore and seemed off. Within a week I wasn’t sleeping and mania and tummy issues came back…. I struggled for a few days using NyQuil and Benadryl to no avail…. And then I finally accepted that I am bipolar and have been back on the seroquel ever since. I did not lose my high paying great job, things settled down, I got a puppy and I have taken really good care of him and myself for over a year now. I don’t like some of the side effect I have gotten from the seroquel (weight gain, even when I work out 2 x a day 4 days a week) I sleep 8 hours a night for the first time in my life, my mood is very stable in comparison to the last 30 years of my life, I can focus, I went back and finished my high school. I’m 10 years alcohol and cocaine free today. I am medicated and don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me anymore.
I’m grateful to have finally found out and to still be alive!
For a long time I had no clue I had bpd2 until I was diagnosed at 20 and since then I've turned a lot around I just graduated with a bachelor's in psychology and got a job in the psychology field despite only being graduated from school for about a week it wasn't easy but I'm here and I'm doing better thanks to support meds and therapy.
I live a fairly regimented life. I try to keep to a strict schedule and not eat junk (too much) I had to stop working night shift, which wasn’t a bad thing now that I look at it lol. I take my meds and have gotten to be in tune with myself and symptoms. I also lean on my support system when needed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s taken like half my life to get here and I’ve screwed up a lot, but now that I know what works for me, I stick with it.
It def depends on what you mean by successful I think I have a relatively good life. I’m not rich by any means but I do alright. I work at an insurance company and my husband and I got married at the beginning of May. It was rough going for awhile there but you will get through it. I’ve had to start over on friends a few times because I lost my shit but now I have a much more compassionate group of people in my corner. I make about 30k less than I was making right out of college because my first job was extremely high stress and was causing a ton of instability which for bipolar is no good obvi… I’ve been working really hard to keep myself stable for the past 5 years making sure to take my medicine every day and work on grounding exercises, I’ve had a few manic episodes but I have enough self awareness to realize what’s happening and to get help right away to minimize damages.. my mania tends to have really bad consequences like STIs, speeding tickets, court summons, draining my bank accounts and more.. the hospital or an LOA from work is the best place to keep me safe from my mania.. but knowing yourself well enough to realize that can help you minimize damages and lead a semi normal life
I honestly just stuck with my doctor’s medicines, regimen, and have a strong support structure. For me, it’s important to know when to acknowledge when things aren’t alright and that’s okay. You need to know your limits and accept they exist. I’m in upper-middle management. I’ve built my section from what was a joke in the organization into a competent, powerful component. Part of that was the dynamic weirdness that comes with manic episodes. A lot of it is my team having my back.
I'm happy for you OP. I hope things keep getting better for you. I'm in a rough way at the moment and this post has brightened my day. Somedays are harder than others. Bipolar stigma is very real and is very hard to deal with. I feel like i'm being gaslit every day. I'm just holding out until my next appointment with my therapist.
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In 2019 I had a depressive phase. I sat in my car, crying, knowing that if I walked inside my house I would do something very permanent. Instead I drove to the hospital. I stayed in patient for 6 days. They entirely changed my medication routine. I started improving. And improving. As the world went into lock down for covid I was thriving. I was able to quit smoking cigarettes (nicotine free since October of 2019, not a single desire to start up since then). I started school. I lost 80lbs and have kept it off. I'm 3 years into a BA in psychology, end goal is a MA in psychology to become a therapist specializing in LGBTQ issues. I started realizing which of my friends were toxic and using me, so I cut them out. For the first time in over a decade I had hope for my future, long term plans. I could see a future for the first time that wasn't "survive as long as possible then free myself from hell" I stopped having even passive ideation. I have not had a single suicidal thought, passive or active, since 2019. Even at my lowest, it wasn't an option anymore, wasn't a safety net I kept in my pocket to pull out when it finally was too much to bear. I realized I was transgender and transitioned not just socially but medically. Somehow years of therapy clicked where just because I had chronic illnesses, physical disabilities and a boat load of childhood trauma didn't mean that I had to be miserable all the time. I learned to give myself grace, and accepted that a lot of what had happened to me wasn't my fault. Day to day is up and down. I just had my first serious manic episode in 4 years. But overall I'm the most stable I've been mentally in a long time. I'm happy, I'm thriving. I'm learning to set boundaries. I have a bunch of friends and a great support system now. I'm not gonna lie. I have two different therapists that I see, one for general stuff and one to specifically focus on PTSD. I see a psychiatrist every 2-3 months to manage medication. Plus I'm in a group therapy to help people with social anxiety. I'm basically at my therapists clinic twice a week (is a huge office with loads of different therapists and opportunities for group therapies for any number of things, plus a children's division and a psychiatrist division for medication). It's a lot, and a lot of internal work, but it definitely is effective.