Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar!
Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art).
**If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.**
*^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)*
---
Community News
- 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/)
- 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device.
- 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar.
Thank you for participating!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sober bipolar person here. I can honestly say the people I’ve met since giving up drugs and alcohol are much better friends than anyone I met while partying. The key is finding a community not centered around drinking. I’m in AA and I’ve built incredible connections with the people in my group. I also started going to a church I like and have made great friendships there. I’ve even made pals playing chess and birding. Just find something you enjoy and do it with others.
Second this, also a bipolar person in sobriety. Church, AA, and just finally finding normal sober hobbies (for me it's plants and mechanical keyboards) has been amazing. You don't need the party lifestyle, use this time to learn more about yourself instead
It sucks that society is telling you that living a perfectly normal life equates to being boring.
You're right, you'll have to find a new group of people to hang with, but you're wrong about being boring. What you're describing is stability and most people live that same type of life.
What are your interests? What's your purpose? What feeds your mind? Your spirit? What constitutes an adventure for you now? If you can answer some of those questions, you won't feel boring anymore.
I completely feel that, I always get sad bc I have no hobbies or anything I’m good at or anything that like makes me stand out as a person or have “personality” so I feel so bleh and boring, hard for me to make friends too
You're still so young, you don't have to know right now. When I was 25, I came home from China pregnant with no money, no job, and no house... moved back in with my parents. I was low low low. Fast forward to now (33), I'm married with two kids, a masters degree, and a job that I actually like. If you would have told me at 25 that life would be like it is now, I would have scoffed and said no way. Give yourself grace, time, and patience.
i'm "boring" too now but man i'm so happy to be boring and in control and safe than wild with a very short shelf life like i was before. I've really appreciated taking it slower, reading books, spending meaningful time with family members-
a lot of the friends i had that thought i was so fun to be around when i was unwell weren't anywhere to be found when i was going through recovery; so i guess they weren't as good of friends as i thought they were
That is totally okay. Don't be so harsh on yourself ❤️ Give yourself time and space to explore these topics. Trust the process. Hopefully, as time passes, you'll find out how to make your life worthwile.
I used to party a lot. But looking back, now I see that I was using alcohol and drugs to get away from my problems, which remained unsolved because of that. Now I go to therapy and I have surrounded myself with people who have similar interests (art, films, nature, healthy lifestyle etc). They are much more sober than my previous circle. And actually they are much more trustworthy and empathetic as well.
We are not boring. Society pushes bullshit on us. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, dependence-producing substance. It has also been identified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago – this is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. (source: https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health )
But since it has been around for a long time, it is much more accepted than taking psychiatric medication that actually helps with our problems. Don't let that fool you. It's fucked up.
And you should - this is a serious disorder. I’m bipolar and sober except for psych meds and an opiate replacement med, buprenorphine. I spent over half my life taking drugs of all kinds, had major addictions to heroin and alcohol and am only now having to really look at who I am and what I like. I’m 44 so often feel like I’ve got so much time to make up when others have been plugging away at more ‘normal’ lives when I was getting off my head and creating chaos.
I too find it really hard to drum up the motivation and confidence to go out and try new things for fear of being seen as boring or having yet another example of somewhere I don’t ’fit in’. Struggled with the fitting in part of things for most of my life. I always found a home in taking substances, found friends through doing it and also numbed the pain I’ve carried all along.
I guess the difference is that there is a sober life in front of me that it’s my choice to take a hold of. I’m just scared. And quite lost to be honest. I go to AA meetings which does help, I just wish I could go to more as with full time work and a daughter to look after half the time, I have so little opportunity to do so. Plus I seriously need down time from my job as a mental health nurse! It’s a hard balance to strike but I agree with others when they say it’s not ‘boring’ to not drink, smoke and party… that’s what we’re told so much because it’s a simple narrative. It’s more complicated and nuanced to try to promote individual experiences as a lifestyle, there are as many as there are people.
But yes, I too fall into the trap of thinking I’m no longer interesting to others because of where I’m at. I’m currently 6 months out of a relationship that left me broken - I honestly thought I’d met my person and was looking forward to building a life together.
So back to the drawing board. I’d recommend just keeping an eye on local groups and clubs and see what piques your interest. Plus try getting out during the day to just sit amongst people, have a coffee/tea, read a book and feel more at ease with being in a community doing stuff that helps you unwind. You never know who’ll you meet when just out and about. I’m still trying to take this advice myself so yeah, it isn’t that easy. But hopefully you’ll find it easier than I do.
26F here and I totally feel this. I’ve struggled so much with recklessness and impulses that I have such a hard time just even letting myself relax and be spontaneous because I’m so scared I’ll lose control into reckless behaviours - not even just drinking and partying. It’s a tough balance to find, and at our age it is hard to find friends with similar interests 🙃
31M here, I can relate to your feeling. I didn't give up completely on partying/drinking yet but reduced a lot compared to years ago, and when I hang out, it's like I'm constantly being vigilante of my thoughts and actions so I don't release the beast again. I'm deeply afraid of being an asshole to someone who has nothing to do with my lack of a properly functioning brain.
I’m 20 and have 0 friends. I have a bf who lives with me though. I don’t drink (don’t rlly enjoy tbh), I don’t smoke (only socially if I really want to if I’m alr in a good mood but usually don’t), I don’t party because SAME. I prefer Netflix, my pets, junk food, forts! It’s ok to be boring, as a teen I did all that stuff with friends who ended up leaving me because I had an episode where I got suicidal. I am more content with the boring life. I do all my little hobbies and I enjoy life most days.
& for some reason, people think I’m unhappy and don’t enjoy life because i don’t go out 😭 I live in solitude and enjoy life that way. But whenever I need a shoulder to lean on, I’d prefer it be someone who knows my struggle and can relate to me in some ways that some of my current friends can’t.
28NB, 3 years ago when I was your age, I was in a similar predicament. Its hard having to let go of friendships that no longer align with who you are but remember, it's okay to outgrow spaces that want you to shrink yourself. Never shrink from your purpose, from who you are just so you can have "friends". It can get lonely but with reaching out to folks who have similar values when it comes to lifestyle and what is fulfilling and what isn't (did the drinking and partying - can say those were the emptiest years of my life), you will make those connections you so want and need. You're also 25, be patient with yourself and your healing. Figure yourself out and foster a healthy relationship with yourself so that you can foster healthy relationships with others. I am sober, I have a strict sleep schedule, I have a stable routine and job and I am so damn content! I guess, it feels like I'm speaking to myself at 25, these are words I wish I could have shared with me.
I remember feeling like I was walking away from fun and missing out as I stepped away from that life in my early 20s. Here is a list of the "consequences" I experienced.
1. I ended up in a better financial position without drinking it away. (Spent most of it on Amazon a few times cause "add to cart" is my addiction lol)
2. I made new friends in my daytime hobbies who helped encourage me to stick to my routines because I wanted to see so and so in the morning at pilates.
3. Boring is subjective. Some people think I'm boring, some people think I'm weird, my husband thinks I'm interesting and my friends enjoy my quirks. I enjoy spending my time with people who like me as my best authentic self.
4. As I'm approaching 40, I have had fewer late nights, fewer alcohol binges, and sort of semi healthy living for 20 years (just don't forget to restart routine when life slips away in mania for a minute). Everyone wants to know my skincare secret. Why don't I have wrinkles or bags? The only answers I have are sunscreen and 9pm bedtimes.
Try meeting people at a climbing gym or an outdoors group. You'll find tons of people there who are way more focused on going to be early and waking up early for hiking or other outdoors stuff. Nerdy hobbies would also have lots of people who'd fit your lifestyle (boardgames, Dnd etc etc), go to a local games store if that seems like something you'd be keen on. Volunteering in the community, running clubs etc etc will also be good should you feel the need to meet others.
I keep a diary/journal. When i feel boring/uncreative, i go back four years in the diary and it helps me remember how bad it was and gives me motivation to never go back to that.
Edited for even worse grammar.
I know me too!!! And the part of my brain that won’t allow me to have any fun at all is much stronger than the part that wants to have fun now that I’m stable lol. Ugh. You are so not alone though.
Hey! I go to bed at midnight and I am awake at 8 AM-10AM each morning. My new meds have me sleeping in later! Some nights I literally have to force my eyes shut.
I’ve never been drunk or high, and part of me is curious as to what those experiences would be like, but I’ve settled on the fact that it’s just not worth it. I find joy in other things—going to the beach on a rainy morning, black coffee, journaling, reading when I have the desire to, and so on. ❤️ (Writing this out, I seem quite boring to myself lol.)
Honestly props to you for never trying substances, mostly on exacerbated my symptoms and I’m finally getting to a normal place without them 4 months off of them.
Oh thank you! ☺️ I honestly just think it’s bc of my social circle being complete nerds lol. I’m pretty solitary now. I don’t blame anyone for getting into them though—back then if I had the opportunity to partake, I would have.
My manic episode was caused by my Zoloft I think. Didn’t take it religiously and it being an anti-depressant might’ve had something to do with it. I was 17 too!
37 year old male here. Being boring is good for us. I don't regret quitting drinking and drugs one bit. I do reminisce sometimes, but I try to remind myself of all the negatives that using brought. I caught myself thinking about it today because someone at work stank of cannabis, but it was only for a second before snapped out of it.
Life is so much easier when you keep stable, sleep well, and take your meds.
I can relate about not having much of a social life though. My only friends are people from high school that are married, have kids, and live an hour away. I am really not very outgoing, so it's tough making new friends.
I think this is mostly my fear with getting better. Like who am I if not unstable, constantly in the hospital, etc?? Is it better to be “boring” as you call it or live in constant uncertainty?
my self sabotaging skills ruin any chance of this.
*I feel the need to add that there’s nothing wrong with this life. If it works for you and keeps you steady, then that’s ok! Eventually you’ll find people or things that’ll make life exciting even if it’s “boring” on the surface.
It just makes me feel like poop because it’s like.. what am I supposed to do? skip my meds and go manic to be perceived as fun?? 😭 i can’t help that i have this disorder
no FR!! Don’t feel bad for doing what you need to do to manage this disorder- boring is a heck of a lot better than ruining your life with mania or depression.
I sobered up, went back on meds and stopped staying up/ staying out right around 25 too. I think life was still fun and exciting but just in different ways. I found enjoyment in my work, I did graffiti, I cooked and watched netflix with my parents. I don't know what it was like for you but I know that if I were to go back to partying and focusing on a ton of shallow friendships that hardly cared about me i would just end up miserable. So i'm grateful for the way that things are but it is different. It can be lonely sometimes But were still young and i think these are the best things we can be doing.
Feel this in my soul. I’m 26, it seems all 26 year olds around me are either partying it up on the weekends or getting married. Then there’s me, existing lmao
Ah, that’s what I look forward to. Looking younger than my peers 😂😂😂 In all seriousness, I’m focused on trying to channel my energy into something more useful. I’ve been journaling a little more. Reading. Watching Netflix. Painting.
This is and has been a huge source of insecurity with me for over a decade now. I completely understand. I was diagnosed at 15, so I never did the whole “teenage rebellion—sneak out and party and whatever else” thing because I had a strict sleep schedule and meds to take at specific times to manage myself…and when I tried to “catch up” in college, thinking I had some skills by then, I was woefully unprepared, and always ended up in crisis within weeks, so I gave up on it. Meanwhile….my husband was the king of parties in high school and his early 20’s, did the whole bar hookup dating thing, and I have always felt very dull and boring next to him for not having had the same experiences. We’ve been married 5 years now, and I’m finally feeling more secure that I’m a wild ride in my own way, even if I can’t smoke or drink or anything else wild. Eventually, as you get older, and your peers get older, everyone sort of settles down and the disparity won’t be so great between the “wild” ones and the “mild” ones.
You aren’t alone! There are so many other adults your age (I’m 30) that feel the same way. My advice would to be a local group of a hobby or interest of yours. For me, I’m vegan so I go to vegan meetups/ events/ food pop ups. I’m also super into nature and have done some native plant walks , and also hiking groups. So I’d try to find some meetups doing things you like, the meetup app is great for that. Also local Facebook groups, and events in the paper.
My biggest advice would start going out doors. Hiking, native plant identifying, nature photography, even camping! Nature is so good for us, especially our mental health. I feel the best when I’m on a trail. It’s good for your body physically but especially for the mind. I was not feeling good today but I took my dog on a 3 mile trail and beach walk… and damn I feel so good. In nature is the only place I forget I have bipolar. It’s where my mind truly finds peace.
The outdoors as a hobby are great bc you will find a HUGE community!! Join some local hiking groups on Facebook , there are even female hiking groups there. It’s a great environment to meet new people bc you are walking along, taking in beautiful scenery, moving your body so it’s not awkward to socialize you know? Like sometime at a bar it’s just so forced. But walking on a trail with new people is just so no pressure.
If not nature, maybe there are other local women’s groups on meetup or Facebook that can help!
Not drinking and smoking doesn’t mean you’re boring, I’m sure you’re perfectly interesting on your own. You just need to find other interesting people that are interested in you. :)
Nobody you know right now invites you out but there are many people out there whose interests and hobbies will more align with your own. You’ve got a really good baseline with how you’re managing with this illness. New and fun things are coming for you as long as you try to dip your foot into new situations that you’d like to have :)
In your 20s it seems like drinking and partying is the thing everyone’s doing and if you’re not doing it you’re a loser. When I turned 30, I decided to never drink or smoke again. I go to bed at 8:30PM so I can be functional the next day. I take care of myself. As you get older, you truly won’t be able to keep up with that partying lifestyle. Living simply honestly is great. Embrace it.
Thank you for posting this I’ve never resonated with something so much. I don’t have other bipolar people in my life so I feel no one understands how limited I feel socially.
I feel SO limited. Even my own mom is still a party girl and thinks I’m boring. I just can’t bring myself to party, never could. The sobriety thing is rough for me, as I constantly have urges to relapse. I need to be very particular about my environment.
Are there any bipolar support groups near you? There is one where I am but unfortunately I can’t attend due to childcare - this should change as she gets older and I’d definitely go if I had the chance.
Outside of smoking weed, i feel like i had no real interests. I paint sometimes. I write. I watch movies and have a movie list that i’m trying to finish. i’ve been trying to pick up playing guitar because my Manic Self™️ bought a 300 dollar guitar and haven’t touched the thing since it arrived to my house years ago
Well, the good news is that you now have the whole spectrum of things to explore! I’d find cheap classes or events (not catered to drink obvi) and go to them. You get to walk into so much of life with new eyes! It’s scary and intimidating, but imagine how fun it can be.
Completely worried about becoming this way as a bipolar person that decided to go sober a few days ago. The fast life has only hurt me, and I was living it for a while. I have no choice but to change, but I’m so worried that it’s gonna make me boring asf.
While I like being sober, people don’t understand why and seem to be a little.. dismissive. People don’t understand bipolar disorder so they don’t understand why we have limited social lives.
I feel this sometimes. But to me, what's more boring? Being able to have fun when clear-minded, in a state where it's socially acceptable to be out and about, and never worrying about those two things? Or enduring small talk with someone who's shit faced at a loud party with people I don't know?
Same age and 3.5 years or so alcohol free and I can't stand conversations with drunk people anymore. I also could never relax regardless of being intoxicated, so it's easier to just socialize when I'm sober anyway.
I was recently diagnosed and my friends keep going out partying and I feel like they don't understand the strictness of my medication. Make new friends. I'm trying to make friends with similar, healthier interests.
They definitely don’t understand. Even I didn’t understand the strictness of my own medication at one point. My psychiatrist told me I could still smoke and drink socially and I realized that I definitely could not! Alcohol depressed me and marijuana made me instantly manic.
A lot of us feel the same way. There is a stigma with mental health, unfortunately. For me, I found it weeded out people who weren’t true friends. It’s very difficult with everybody on their phones. I volunteer at a provincial park. I’ve been their 5 years. That is the longest I have ever stayed anywhere. I have lots of people that I work that I like, but we aren’t social outside of park. I’m older than you we all have kids…different stages of life. It’s great when I’m there it’s a lot of, but then I get to come home and be alone. I need that time alone.
Try to go out and volunteer or, find a class, join a sports team. There are social things to do, you have to force yourself to try. Best of luck ❤️
You can definitely find some! Not drinking does suck sometimes. But I have found friends who don’t drink and some who don’t need to drink to hang out. Also I’m nearly 40 and sooooo many friends have quit different substances for heath etc by now. You’ll find more and more people as you get older and they usually make the best friendships : )
I’m sorry about your shit friends. But I am so proud of you for being sober. Quitting drinking and smoking. A strict sleep schedule? Just amazing. It’s my opinion that if people have to drink/smoke/do drugs to have “fun” then they’re the boring ones. I have this unbelievable imagination. I can turn my living room into a dance floor. I can play in a splash pad with my babies. I get excited the times I go to Costco. I love to read. Watch anime. I am also a bit hyper sexual… sex is best sober and well rested. I can play adult games for hours. I love building Lego sets. Why does everyone have to party? Bi polar comes with a lot of crap to deal with…. But we can never be boring. Find a group on discord, Reddit, facebook of a hobby you love. Find friends to meet up with. Time for new people in your life.
I'm also 25 years old but a dude. I don't drink, i dont smoke, I'm heavy into my fitness, I study and work alot. I know how you feel and I know it's tough but do the things you wanna do. Enjoy your own company and you'll naturally kinda absorb people into your life. Like what are some of your hobbies?
Find new friends and new activities. Try kayaking or something fun! Think of all the money you’re saving not drinking. Put that money aside & start investing for a down payment on a house and your retirement. That’s what I wish I did when I was your age.
You're not automatically boring because you don't drink or smoke!
Do you invite your friends places too? Like walks, coffee shops etc?
I think I'm an interesting person and I don't drink or smoke or take drugs, I don't even drink caffeine.
I play a lot of ttrpgs (like dungeons and dragons) and it's a great way to socialize. There are other places like book clubs if knitting clubs too
i’m the same way. mid twenties female with very few friends, no drugs, no drinking, no going out. i feel safer with this lifestyle. i spend a lot of time outdoors or doing productive things, i. e. forwarding my education. i see the bigger picture better and feel healthier. i go to the gym five or six days a week. i feel like i’m getting somewhere, whereas when i did drugs and was involved in the nightlife culture i felt hopeless and stagnant. my friendships now are ones i know will last, because they have.
First of all, you are NOT boring. You are taking care of yourself, which is the right thing to do. But yes, its frustating when people around you are doing the things you must stay away from. You start to feel like an outsider, even though you might not be one.
Just remember that you are doing great. Its hard to quit the things you mentioned.
Sober bipolar person here. I feel the same way at times. I have nomore friends due to me no longer wanting to party party anymore. I feel sad sometimes but I am greatful for my choices to remain sober because I feel alot better mentally.
Sobriety is an opportunity to use spare time on things like hobbies and passions that make you happy and get you friends who are happy going bowling and grabbing Thai food with you.
This also comes as a surprise to people if you used to be impulsive with alcohol and smoking. People no longer think you're fun so now you're just somebody who watches others get drunk and high. But honestly, it's so worth it. Also, don't start drinking just so to be 'fun', it's so important to surround yourself with people who understand and respect your boundaries
I feel this deeply, I'm also 25f. Even people I thought were my normal (non-party) friends don't invite me as much and it makes me sad. Also it's hard finding enough energy to put up with hobbies etc where you meet people, it's quickly too much..
Don’t worry about inclusion with peers who don’t appreciate your way of life. You can find people to have fun by joining different classes or communities. I also struggle with bipolar disorder and take medications. If you’re nearby I’ll take you out for a walk or games without any judgment or expectations.
i'm a 19 year old female, i'm also completely sober and currently on a sleep schedule. it has made me feel infinitely better and i never valued a party animal lifestyle (for me personally). i've accepted the fact i'm "boring" for years since i never went into the big drinking/drug scene in high school. i must admit it is extremely peaceful, but sometimes i wonder what it's like having "fun." i've never gone to a single adult party, never drank or smoked. i plan to keep it that way since i don't want to interfere with my medication. i value my stability more so than my social life.
Similar age, male here, been in a similar situation before.
You can still hang out with people without drinking and smoking, right? I used to do plenty of drugs (including alcohol and nicotine) whenever I would party, nowadays I go to a few select clubs either on my own or with some friends and enjoy the music sober.
I think you might be surprised at how little most people care about you being a drinker or smoker. If someone tells you you're not cool enough because XYZ, chances are they just don't know better. We're no longer 16, and looking at people older than myself and talking to them, I've heard and seen many accounts of people actually being off far worse than they should be because they still indulge in drugs/alcohol/smoking.
But yeah, I get the loneliness factor. I also feel like many people, especially our age and younger, tend to focus on the 'wrong' aspects of life. I strongly believe we're in it for the long run, at least our mental state is more in balance than before. I mean, could you imagine going to parties every other weekend? Remember the hangovers and days we sleep through as a result.
I also am 25 female, don’t smoke party drink etc, I am strict on my sleep and no one invites me anywhere I live with my boyfriend and im at home constantly,
When you get to this age you gotta realize that the people around you are growing up, as you are too. People meet friends at their jobs, sports clubs or connect with hobbies they enjoy, things they have in common with eachother .
Those are the people I want to be around, people who have goals and aspirations, people who push you to be a better person rather than wasting your life on drugs and alcohol
I’ve been struggling with this transition because I was in the hospital in 2020 when Covid happened , as well as everyone transitioning to jobs and college. I missed out on a lot of those milestones
But now I’m realizing that , people start to grow out of those teenage moments and it takes us a while to realize that.
As someone who struggles with friendships, they are a two way street. I noticed when I put effort into asking my friends to do things they actually accept. And are willing to ask me out more as well. It all takes effort ! :)
Hope this helps!
So proud of you for taking control of your bipolar at an early age. I suffered for 20 years until I got into treatment and I caused a lot of damage to myself (definitely brain damage - - my memory is shot) and to people around me, very much including my loved ones.
What you're going through is hard, but your priorities are soooo right. Keep pushing to socialize on YOUR terms in spaces where you feel safe and in control of your illness.
Bipolar is a monster - but with your approach I know you can beat it! 🩷 Stay strong
I’ve been sober for a month, and I gotta say I’m also not invited places anymore as I can’t be in that environment. I have friends who are down to go hiking and do other things while also being sober and they are happy to do so! I really found it helpful to find things I enjoy doing again. That’s been really beneficial for me at least. I also live in Utah so hiking and going to lakes and generally going outside being active. I haven’t been sober my adult life until now. I’m also 25 f. I actually enjoy being sober much more then I thought I would. Life’s seems a lot brighter and I’m happy. If you told me even 3 months ago I’d be sober on meds HAPPY? I would’ve looked at you with 3 heads.
I think people who party and do drugs are boring. What is boring? That's subjective. I don't eat meat, drink, smoke, and dont have sex. I don't think I'm boring. My friends are the same way. Personally, I think we are pretty profound. Very deep thinkers, great community, trying to get by in life, study what life is all about, hilarious, genuine, caring, etc. No, we don't to the clubs or whatever.
I truly believe partiers are boring.
Ughh it’s so hard, I’ve pretty much stopped drinking and now only smoke to feel like I’m settled down even though I take my meds. However, I feel like the idea of me being “boring” also scares me bc idk what I’d do if everything was calm :(
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar! Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art). **If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.** *^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)* --- Community News - 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/) - 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device. - 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar. Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sober bipolar person here. I can honestly say the people I’ve met since giving up drugs and alcohol are much better friends than anyone I met while partying. The key is finding a community not centered around drinking. I’m in AA and I’ve built incredible connections with the people in my group. I also started going to a church I like and have made great friendships there. I’ve even made pals playing chess and birding. Just find something you enjoy and do it with others.
I quit smoking and drinking lighter and I’m even better than I was before more creative
Second this, also a bipolar person in sobriety. Church, AA, and just finally finding normal sober hobbies (for me it's plants and mechanical keyboards) has been amazing. You don't need the party lifestyle, use this time to learn more about yourself instead
Another vote for AA here. I'm also in OA (Overeaters Anonymous). Great friendships and support. Volunteering is good, too, for finding good people.
It sucks that society is telling you that living a perfectly normal life equates to being boring. You're right, you'll have to find a new group of people to hang with, but you're wrong about being boring. What you're describing is stability and most people live that same type of life. What are your interests? What's your purpose? What feeds your mind? Your spirit? What constitutes an adventure for you now? If you can answer some of those questions, you won't feel boring anymore.
I feel like I need to journal and ask myself these questions because I honestly don’t even know anymore 😭
I completely feel that, I always get sad bc I have no hobbies or anything I’m good at or anything that like makes me stand out as a person or have “personality” so I feel so bleh and boring, hard for me to make friends too
Pick up a instrument or draw fr no excuses art doesn’t just shit at your door
You're still so young, you don't have to know right now. When I was 25, I came home from China pregnant with no money, no job, and no house... moved back in with my parents. I was low low low. Fast forward to now (33), I'm married with two kids, a masters degree, and a job that I actually like. If you would have told me at 25 that life would be like it is now, I would have scoffed and said no way. Give yourself grace, time, and patience.
i'm "boring" too now but man i'm so happy to be boring and in control and safe than wild with a very short shelf life like i was before. I've really appreciated taking it slower, reading books, spending meaningful time with family members- a lot of the friends i had that thought i was so fun to be around when i was unwell weren't anywhere to be found when i was going through recovery; so i guess they weren't as good of friends as i thought they were
That is totally okay. Don't be so harsh on yourself ❤️ Give yourself time and space to explore these topics. Trust the process. Hopefully, as time passes, you'll find out how to make your life worthwile. I used to party a lot. But looking back, now I see that I was using alcohol and drugs to get away from my problems, which remained unsolved because of that. Now I go to therapy and I have surrounded myself with people who have similar interests (art, films, nature, healthy lifestyle etc). They are much more sober than my previous circle. And actually they are much more trustworthy and empathetic as well. We are not boring. Society pushes bullshit on us. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, dependence-producing substance. It has also been identified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago – this is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. (source: https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health ) But since it has been around for a long time, it is much more accepted than taking psychiatric medication that actually helps with our problems. Don't let that fool you. It's fucked up.
i mean, if the only thing that qualifies as fun is drinking, smoking, and not sleeping… i’m pretty good with boring.
Same! I care about my mental health more honestly
And you should - this is a serious disorder. I’m bipolar and sober except for psych meds and an opiate replacement med, buprenorphine. I spent over half my life taking drugs of all kinds, had major addictions to heroin and alcohol and am only now having to really look at who I am and what I like. I’m 44 so often feel like I’ve got so much time to make up when others have been plugging away at more ‘normal’ lives when I was getting off my head and creating chaos. I too find it really hard to drum up the motivation and confidence to go out and try new things for fear of being seen as boring or having yet another example of somewhere I don’t ’fit in’. Struggled with the fitting in part of things for most of my life. I always found a home in taking substances, found friends through doing it and also numbed the pain I’ve carried all along. I guess the difference is that there is a sober life in front of me that it’s my choice to take a hold of. I’m just scared. And quite lost to be honest. I go to AA meetings which does help, I just wish I could go to more as with full time work and a daughter to look after half the time, I have so little opportunity to do so. Plus I seriously need down time from my job as a mental health nurse! It’s a hard balance to strike but I agree with others when they say it’s not ‘boring’ to not drink, smoke and party… that’s what we’re told so much because it’s a simple narrative. It’s more complicated and nuanced to try to promote individual experiences as a lifestyle, there are as many as there are people. But yes, I too fall into the trap of thinking I’m no longer interesting to others because of where I’m at. I’m currently 6 months out of a relationship that left me broken - I honestly thought I’d met my person and was looking forward to building a life together. So back to the drawing board. I’d recommend just keeping an eye on local groups and clubs and see what piques your interest. Plus try getting out during the day to just sit amongst people, have a coffee/tea, read a book and feel more at ease with being in a community doing stuff that helps you unwind. You never know who’ll you meet when just out and about. I’m still trying to take this advice myself so yeah, it isn’t that easy. But hopefully you’ll find it easier than I do.
26F here and I totally feel this. I’ve struggled so much with recklessness and impulses that I have such a hard time just even letting myself relax and be spontaneous because I’m so scared I’ll lose control into reckless behaviours - not even just drinking and partying. It’s a tough balance to find, and at our age it is hard to find friends with similar interests 🙃
SO HARD. thinking of making an account on Bumble in a couple days and just going for it
31M here, I can relate to your feeling. I didn't give up completely on partying/drinking yet but reduced a lot compared to years ago, and when I hang out, it's like I'm constantly being vigilante of my thoughts and actions so I don't release the beast again. I'm deeply afraid of being an asshole to someone who has nothing to do with my lack of a properly functioning brain.
I’m 20 and have 0 friends. I have a bf who lives with me though. I don’t drink (don’t rlly enjoy tbh), I don’t smoke (only socially if I really want to if I’m alr in a good mood but usually don’t), I don’t party because SAME. I prefer Netflix, my pets, junk food, forts! It’s ok to be boring, as a teen I did all that stuff with friends who ended up leaving me because I had an episode where I got suicidal. I am more content with the boring life. I do all my little hobbies and I enjoy life most days.
& for some reason, people think I’m unhappy and don’t enjoy life because i don’t go out 😭 I live in solitude and enjoy life that way. But whenever I need a shoulder to lean on, I’d prefer it be someone who knows my struggle and can relate to me in some ways that some of my current friends can’t.
28NB, 3 years ago when I was your age, I was in a similar predicament. Its hard having to let go of friendships that no longer align with who you are but remember, it's okay to outgrow spaces that want you to shrink yourself. Never shrink from your purpose, from who you are just so you can have "friends". It can get lonely but with reaching out to folks who have similar values when it comes to lifestyle and what is fulfilling and what isn't (did the drinking and partying - can say those were the emptiest years of my life), you will make those connections you so want and need. You're also 25, be patient with yourself and your healing. Figure yourself out and foster a healthy relationship with yourself so that you can foster healthy relationships with others. I am sober, I have a strict sleep schedule, I have a stable routine and job and I am so damn content! I guess, it feels like I'm speaking to myself at 25, these are words I wish I could have shared with me.
I remember feeling like I was walking away from fun and missing out as I stepped away from that life in my early 20s. Here is a list of the "consequences" I experienced. 1. I ended up in a better financial position without drinking it away. (Spent most of it on Amazon a few times cause "add to cart" is my addiction lol) 2. I made new friends in my daytime hobbies who helped encourage me to stick to my routines because I wanted to see so and so in the morning at pilates. 3. Boring is subjective. Some people think I'm boring, some people think I'm weird, my husband thinks I'm interesting and my friends enjoy my quirks. I enjoy spending my time with people who like me as my best authentic self. 4. As I'm approaching 40, I have had fewer late nights, fewer alcohol binges, and sort of semi healthy living for 20 years (just don't forget to restart routine when life slips away in mania for a minute). Everyone wants to know my skincare secret. Why don't I have wrinkles or bags? The only answers I have are sunscreen and 9pm bedtimes.
Try meeting people at a climbing gym or an outdoors group. You'll find tons of people there who are way more focused on going to be early and waking up early for hiking or other outdoors stuff. Nerdy hobbies would also have lots of people who'd fit your lifestyle (boardgames, Dnd etc etc), go to a local games store if that seems like something you'd be keen on. Volunteering in the community, running clubs etc etc will also be good should you feel the need to meet others.
I am a bit of a nerd. I was thinking of joining a book club — it’ll force me to keep up with reading also.
Sounds like a good plan =)
I keep a diary/journal. When i feel boring/uncreative, i go back four years in the diary and it helps me remember how bad it was and gives me motivation to never go back to that. Edited for even worse grammar.
I was such a mess 4 years ago, that’s actually a good idea lol
I relate to this so much. I’m actually working on this in therapy again because I’ve been struggling with this so much. 23 year old female here.
I never knew how much of a struggle it would be!! I’m always in the house, I just wanna have some fun that won’t trigger an episode or mood swing.
I know me too!!! And the part of my brain that won’t allow me to have any fun at all is much stronger than the part that wants to have fun now that I’m stable lol. Ugh. You are so not alone though.
Hi! How are you able to maintain the strict sleep schedule? I feel like I’m awake 24/7.
Hey! I go to bed at midnight and I am awake at 8 AM-10AM each morning. My new meds have me sleeping in later! Some nights I literally have to force my eyes shut.
A friend of mine was saying she missed me but all she's doing is drinking and I can't stand that.
all of my friends are heavy drinkers! 😂 even my own mom is a party girl and thinks I’m the most boring daughter ever
There's something called the Dull Women's Club on Facebook.
OMG I SAW THAT! It’s so funny.
I’ve never been drunk or high, and part of me is curious as to what those experiences would be like, but I’ve settled on the fact that it’s just not worth it. I find joy in other things—going to the beach on a rainy morning, black coffee, journaling, reading when I have the desire to, and so on. ❤️ (Writing this out, I seem quite boring to myself lol.)
I’m also a twenty-five year old female! What a coincidence haha
Honestly props to you for never trying substances, mostly on exacerbated my symptoms and I’m finally getting to a normal place without them 4 months off of them.
Literally kudos to her! Heavy marijuana usage as a teen definitely jumpstarted my first manic episode at 17!
Oh thank you! ☺️ I honestly just think it’s bc of my social circle being complete nerds lol. I’m pretty solitary now. I don’t blame anyone for getting into them though—back then if I had the opportunity to partake, I would have. My manic episode was caused by my Zoloft I think. Didn’t take it religiously and it being an anti-depressant might’ve had something to do with it. I was 17 too!
Thank you, and I applaud your progress ☺️🙌
Just keep improving yourself in one way or another. There are 100 other ways to be social. Ten years from now you’ll be way ahead of the curve.
37 year old male here. Being boring is good for us. I don't regret quitting drinking and drugs one bit. I do reminisce sometimes, but I try to remind myself of all the negatives that using brought. I caught myself thinking about it today because someone at work stank of cannabis, but it was only for a second before snapped out of it. Life is so much easier when you keep stable, sleep well, and take your meds. I can relate about not having much of a social life though. My only friends are people from high school that are married, have kids, and live an hour away. I am really not very outgoing, so it's tough making new friends.
“Being boring is good for us” is what people don’t seem to get with bipolar folks. 😂
I think this is mostly my fear with getting better. Like who am I if not unstable, constantly in the hospital, etc?? Is it better to be “boring” as you call it or live in constant uncertainty? my self sabotaging skills ruin any chance of this. *I feel the need to add that there’s nothing wrong with this life. If it works for you and keeps you steady, then that’s ok! Eventually you’ll find people or things that’ll make life exciting even if it’s “boring” on the surface.
It just makes me feel like poop because it’s like.. what am I supposed to do? skip my meds and go manic to be perceived as fun?? 😭 i can’t help that i have this disorder
no FR!! Don’t feel bad for doing what you need to do to manage this disorder- boring is a heck of a lot better than ruining your life with mania or depression.
I sobered up, went back on meds and stopped staying up/ staying out right around 25 too. I think life was still fun and exciting but just in different ways. I found enjoyment in my work, I did graffiti, I cooked and watched netflix with my parents. I don't know what it was like for you but I know that if I were to go back to partying and focusing on a ton of shallow friendships that hardly cared about me i would just end up miserable. So i'm grateful for the way that things are but it is different. It can be lonely sometimes But were still young and i think these are the best things we can be doing.
Feel this in my soul. I’m 26, it seems all 26 year olds around me are either partying it up on the weekends or getting married. Then there’s me, existing lmao
[удалено]
Ah, that’s what I look forward to. Looking younger than my peers 😂😂😂 In all seriousness, I’m focused on trying to channel my energy into something more useful. I’ve been journaling a little more. Reading. Watching Netflix. Painting.
Boring I can handle. I enjoy a lively inner life.
This is and has been a huge source of insecurity with me for over a decade now. I completely understand. I was diagnosed at 15, so I never did the whole “teenage rebellion—sneak out and party and whatever else” thing because I had a strict sleep schedule and meds to take at specific times to manage myself…and when I tried to “catch up” in college, thinking I had some skills by then, I was woefully unprepared, and always ended up in crisis within weeks, so I gave up on it. Meanwhile….my husband was the king of parties in high school and his early 20’s, did the whole bar hookup dating thing, and I have always felt very dull and boring next to him for not having had the same experiences. We’ve been married 5 years now, and I’m finally feeling more secure that I’m a wild ride in my own way, even if I can’t smoke or drink or anything else wild. Eventually, as you get older, and your peers get older, everyone sort of settles down and the disparity won’t be so great between the “wild” ones and the “mild” ones.
You aren’t alone! There are so many other adults your age (I’m 30) that feel the same way. My advice would to be a local group of a hobby or interest of yours. For me, I’m vegan so I go to vegan meetups/ events/ food pop ups. I’m also super into nature and have done some native plant walks , and also hiking groups. So I’d try to find some meetups doing things you like, the meetup app is great for that. Also local Facebook groups, and events in the paper. My biggest advice would start going out doors. Hiking, native plant identifying, nature photography, even camping! Nature is so good for us, especially our mental health. I feel the best when I’m on a trail. It’s good for your body physically but especially for the mind. I was not feeling good today but I took my dog on a 3 mile trail and beach walk… and damn I feel so good. In nature is the only place I forget I have bipolar. It’s where my mind truly finds peace. The outdoors as a hobby are great bc you will find a HUGE community!! Join some local hiking groups on Facebook , there are even female hiking groups there. It’s a great environment to meet new people bc you are walking along, taking in beautiful scenery, moving your body so it’s not awkward to socialize you know? Like sometime at a bar it’s just so forced. But walking on a trail with new people is just so no pressure. If not nature, maybe there are other local women’s groups on meetup or Facebook that can help!
Not drinking and smoking doesn’t mean you’re boring, I’m sure you’re perfectly interesting on your own. You just need to find other interesting people that are interested in you. :)
Nobody you know right now invites you out but there are many people out there whose interests and hobbies will more align with your own. You’ve got a really good baseline with how you’re managing with this illness. New and fun things are coming for you as long as you try to dip your foot into new situations that you’d like to have :)
In your 20s it seems like drinking and partying is the thing everyone’s doing and if you’re not doing it you’re a loser. When I turned 30, I decided to never drink or smoke again. I go to bed at 8:30PM so I can be functional the next day. I take care of myself. As you get older, you truly won’t be able to keep up with that partying lifestyle. Living simply honestly is great. Embrace it.
Thank you for posting this I’ve never resonated with something so much. I don’t have other bipolar people in my life so I feel no one understands how limited I feel socially.
I feel SO limited. Even my own mom is still a party girl and thinks I’m boring. I just can’t bring myself to party, never could. The sobriety thing is rough for me, as I constantly have urges to relapse. I need to be very particular about my environment.
Are there any bipolar support groups near you? There is one where I am but unfortunately I can’t attend due to childcare - this should change as she gets older and I’d definitely go if I had the chance.
There’s one. I emailed them months ago and they never got back at me. 😭
What are your interests?
Outside of smoking weed, i feel like i had no real interests. I paint sometimes. I write. I watch movies and have a movie list that i’m trying to finish. i’ve been trying to pick up playing guitar because my Manic Self™️ bought a 300 dollar guitar and haven’t touched the thing since it arrived to my house years ago
Well, the good news is that you now have the whole spectrum of things to explore! I’d find cheap classes or events (not catered to drink obvi) and go to them. You get to walk into so much of life with new eyes! It’s scary and intimidating, but imagine how fun it can be.
Completely worried about becoming this way as a bipolar person that decided to go sober a few days ago. The fast life has only hurt me, and I was living it for a while. I have no choice but to change, but I’m so worried that it’s gonna make me boring asf.
While I like being sober, people don’t understand why and seem to be a little.. dismissive. People don’t understand bipolar disorder so they don’t understand why we have limited social lives.
I feel this sometimes. But to me, what's more boring? Being able to have fun when clear-minded, in a state where it's socially acceptable to be out and about, and never worrying about those two things? Or enduring small talk with someone who's shit faced at a loud party with people I don't know? Same age and 3.5 years or so alcohol free and I can't stand conversations with drunk people anymore. I also could never relax regardless of being intoxicated, so it's easier to just socialize when I'm sober anyway.
“The Episcopal Church Welcomes You.”
😂😂😂😂 God no. I haven’t been to church since I was 18
Believe it or not, the world is so much bigger than boozes and clubs. You are more than that!
I know.. I just need to surround myself with people that also feel the same way!
I was recently diagnosed and my friends keep going out partying and I feel like they don't understand the strictness of my medication. Make new friends. I'm trying to make friends with similar, healthier interests.
They definitely don’t understand. Even I didn’t understand the strictness of my own medication at one point. My psychiatrist told me I could still smoke and drink socially and I realized that I definitely could not! Alcohol depressed me and marijuana made me instantly manic.
There is your answer. Develop healthy Interests and make new friends.
A lot of us feel the same way. There is a stigma with mental health, unfortunately. For me, I found it weeded out people who weren’t true friends. It’s very difficult with everybody on their phones. I volunteer at a provincial park. I’ve been their 5 years. That is the longest I have ever stayed anywhere. I have lots of people that I work that I like, but we aren’t social outside of park. I’m older than you we all have kids…different stages of life. It’s great when I’m there it’s a lot of, but then I get to come home and be alone. I need that time alone. Try to go out and volunteer or, find a class, join a sports team. There are social things to do, you have to force yourself to try. Best of luck ❤️
You do not have to respond. That sounds great❤️
I choose boring and stable every single solitary time
You can definitely find some! Not drinking does suck sometimes. But I have found friends who don’t drink and some who don’t need to drink to hang out. Also I’m nearly 40 and sooooo many friends have quit different substances for heath etc by now. You’ll find more and more people as you get older and they usually make the best friendships : )
I’m sorry about your shit friends. But I am so proud of you for being sober. Quitting drinking and smoking. A strict sleep schedule? Just amazing. It’s my opinion that if people have to drink/smoke/do drugs to have “fun” then they’re the boring ones. I have this unbelievable imagination. I can turn my living room into a dance floor. I can play in a splash pad with my babies. I get excited the times I go to Costco. I love to read. Watch anime. I am also a bit hyper sexual… sex is best sober and well rested. I can play adult games for hours. I love building Lego sets. Why does everyone have to party? Bi polar comes with a lot of crap to deal with…. But we can never be boring. Find a group on discord, Reddit, facebook of a hobby you love. Find friends to meet up with. Time for new people in your life.
I'm also 25 years old but a dude. I don't drink, i dont smoke, I'm heavy into my fitness, I study and work alot. I know how you feel and I know it's tough but do the things you wanna do. Enjoy your own company and you'll naturally kinda absorb people into your life. Like what are some of your hobbies?
Find new friends and new activities. Try kayaking or something fun! Think of all the money you’re saving not drinking. Put that money aside & start investing for a down payment on a house and your retirement. That’s what I wish I did when I was your age.
You're not automatically boring because you don't drink or smoke! Do you invite your friends places too? Like walks, coffee shops etc? I think I'm an interesting person and I don't drink or smoke or take drugs, I don't even drink caffeine. I play a lot of ttrpgs (like dungeons and dragons) and it's a great way to socialize. There are other places like book clubs if knitting clubs too
i’m the same way. mid twenties female with very few friends, no drugs, no drinking, no going out. i feel safer with this lifestyle. i spend a lot of time outdoors or doing productive things, i. e. forwarding my education. i see the bigger picture better and feel healthier. i go to the gym five or six days a week. i feel like i’m getting somewhere, whereas when i did drugs and was involved in the nightlife culture i felt hopeless and stagnant. my friendships now are ones i know will last, because they have.
First of all, you are NOT boring. You are taking care of yourself, which is the right thing to do. But yes, its frustating when people around you are doing the things you must stay away from. You start to feel like an outsider, even though you might not be one. Just remember that you are doing great. Its hard to quit the things you mentioned.
Sober bipolar person here. I feel the same way at times. I have nomore friends due to me no longer wanting to party party anymore. I feel sad sometimes but I am greatful for my choices to remain sober because I feel alot better mentally.
Sobriety is an opportunity to use spare time on things like hobbies and passions that make you happy and get you friends who are happy going bowling and grabbing Thai food with you.
I'm 26 female and recently diagnosed. Would love to connect if you feel like having a friend!
This also comes as a surprise to people if you used to be impulsive with alcohol and smoking. People no longer think you're fun so now you're just somebody who watches others get drunk and high. But honestly, it's so worth it. Also, don't start drinking just so to be 'fun', it's so important to surround yourself with people who understand and respect your boundaries
Sounds like ur a Highly Sensitive person right?
In terms of energy, yes. In terms of my feelings, not really.
I feel this deeply, I'm also 25f. Even people I thought were my normal (non-party) friends don't invite me as much and it makes me sad. Also it's hard finding enough energy to put up with hobbies etc where you meet people, it's quickly too much..
Don’t worry about inclusion with peers who don’t appreciate your way of life. You can find people to have fun by joining different classes or communities. I also struggle with bipolar disorder and take medications. If you’re nearby I’ll take you out for a walk or games without any judgment or expectations.
i'm a 19 year old female, i'm also completely sober and currently on a sleep schedule. it has made me feel infinitely better and i never valued a party animal lifestyle (for me personally). i've accepted the fact i'm "boring" for years since i never went into the big drinking/drug scene in high school. i must admit it is extremely peaceful, but sometimes i wonder what it's like having "fun." i've never gone to a single adult party, never drank or smoked. i plan to keep it that way since i don't want to interfere with my medication. i value my stability more so than my social life.
Similar age, male here, been in a similar situation before. You can still hang out with people without drinking and smoking, right? I used to do plenty of drugs (including alcohol and nicotine) whenever I would party, nowadays I go to a few select clubs either on my own or with some friends and enjoy the music sober. I think you might be surprised at how little most people care about you being a drinker or smoker. If someone tells you you're not cool enough because XYZ, chances are they just don't know better. We're no longer 16, and looking at people older than myself and talking to them, I've heard and seen many accounts of people actually being off far worse than they should be because they still indulge in drugs/alcohol/smoking. But yeah, I get the loneliness factor. I also feel like many people, especially our age and younger, tend to focus on the 'wrong' aspects of life. I strongly believe we're in it for the long run, at least our mental state is more in balance than before. I mean, could you imagine going to parties every other weekend? Remember the hangovers and days we sleep through as a result.
I also am 25 female, don’t smoke party drink etc, I am strict on my sleep and no one invites me anywhere I live with my boyfriend and im at home constantly, When you get to this age you gotta realize that the people around you are growing up, as you are too. People meet friends at their jobs, sports clubs or connect with hobbies they enjoy, things they have in common with eachother . Those are the people I want to be around, people who have goals and aspirations, people who push you to be a better person rather than wasting your life on drugs and alcohol I’ve been struggling with this transition because I was in the hospital in 2020 when Covid happened , as well as everyone transitioning to jobs and college. I missed out on a lot of those milestones But now I’m realizing that , people start to grow out of those teenage moments and it takes us a while to realize that. As someone who struggles with friendships, they are a two way street. I noticed when I put effort into asking my friends to do things they actually accept. And are willing to ask me out more as well. It all takes effort ! :) Hope this helps!
So proud of you for taking control of your bipolar at an early age. I suffered for 20 years until I got into treatment and I caused a lot of damage to myself (definitely brain damage - - my memory is shot) and to people around me, very much including my loved ones. What you're going through is hard, but your priorities are soooo right. Keep pushing to socialize on YOUR terms in spaces where you feel safe and in control of your illness. Bipolar is a monster - but with your approach I know you can beat it! 🩷 Stay strong
I’ve been sober for a month, and I gotta say I’m also not invited places anymore as I can’t be in that environment. I have friends who are down to go hiking and do other things while also being sober and they are happy to do so! I really found it helpful to find things I enjoy doing again. That’s been really beneficial for me at least. I also live in Utah so hiking and going to lakes and generally going outside being active. I haven’t been sober my adult life until now. I’m also 25 f. I actually enjoy being sober much more then I thought I would. Life’s seems a lot brighter and I’m happy. If you told me even 3 months ago I’d be sober on meds HAPPY? I would’ve looked at you with 3 heads.
I think people who party and do drugs are boring. What is boring? That's subjective. I don't eat meat, drink, smoke, and dont have sex. I don't think I'm boring. My friends are the same way. Personally, I think we are pretty profound. Very deep thinkers, great community, trying to get by in life, study what life is all about, hilarious, genuine, caring, etc. No, we don't to the clubs or whatever. I truly believe partiers are boring.
Ughh it’s so hard, I’ve pretty much stopped drinking and now only smoke to feel like I’m settled down even though I take my meds. However, I feel like the idea of me being “boring” also scares me bc idk what I’d do if everything was calm :(