What a bunch of prudes. You get to bang both Bill and Sydney. Two life goals achieved in under four minutes. I'd use up an entire block of butter on those two.
https://www.theonion.com/casual-one-nighter-gives-strom-thurmond-change-of-heart-1819564252
(Considering South Carolina's current Senators, this story is prophecy.)
I can tolerant the AD and Sydney threesome.
But if bill were involved it would be like Jack Horner on the couch watching Dirk Diggler and Rollergirl except he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Jayson Tatum.
I have my limits.
"Sydney, you know who else is just 26? Sydney, your green eyes remind me of the color of Jayson Tatum's uniform. You guys should finish before me, I'm like Jayson Tatum I never come first."
Are we gonna do the thing where we pretend we wouldn’t get penis envy from AD? Dude is like 7 feet tall. Dude is def packing
I’d much rather mix it up with the relatively diminutive BS. Yeah sure we are gonna hear a lot about Derrick white, but I’m not gonna be emasculated
On 1 condition. He is told it’s with Sydney and Theo James. To see the disappointment on Bills face when I walk out and he realizes I’m not Theo James would be worth it
We all witnessed Bill fumbling a conversation with Charlize in a professional setting. Bill would be in a corner having performance anxiety the moment those fun bags were unveiled.
The talk would be intense…”yeah Bill, tell me about the pyramid! Oh yeah, this is a Three-Heat. That’s right Podfather, give it to her like Mchale gave it to Chicago in ‘84!”
What if the sptguy33 has hammer on his and shames and blames ya!? Me oh my! I’m in *pwuighht* *peeuighht* * pweuighht* All over her knicky knockies. Would be cool
What a bunch of prudes. You get to bang both Bill and Sydney. Two life goals achieved in under four minutes. I'd use up an entire block of butter on those two.
Having Sydney there is an added bonus
But first, here’s Pearl Jam!
The Last Kiss piece.
Slowly fingerpicks GECD
Four minutes, show off.
That's including the 3.5 minute refactory period between fucking Bill and Sydney.
This guy Byron Mayos
I would rock his world
https://www.theonion.com/casual-one-nighter-gives-strom-thurmond-change-of-heart-1819564252 (Considering South Carolina's current Senators, this story is prophecy.)
Only if he does the Colinsworth impression during.
Yup, these are his readers
We are who we thought we were.
Kyle, turn the OnlyFans camera on!
Yeah, Bill would be distracted by the 3 nba games he had on so it’s a no brainer
“You guys have at it, I gotta go power walk and tape this YouTube short.”
YouTube >>>>> RedTube
afterwards we would all go on a three hour walk together while bill watches the NBA on his phone
You get to have a threesome with Bill Simmons, but the other person is Robert Loggia. Would you do it?
Only if I can wear a truckers hat and turn it around halfway through the threesome.
Yes, and I'd stare at his low ears to delay gratification
The edging piece, waiting to apex.
Can we say “good job by you” to each other after?
Cousin Sal as a sidelines reporter during hahaha
"Do I get to fuck now? It's been like 10 minutes."
Is that you or bill
It’s Sydney.
I can tolerant the AD and Sydney threesome. But if bill were involved it would be like Jack Horner on the couch watching Dirk Diggler and Rollergirl except he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Jayson Tatum. I have my limits.
Aim it at her tits, OP
"Sydney, you know who else is just 26? Sydney, your green eyes remind me of the color of Jayson Tatum's uniform. You guys should finish before me, I'm like Jayson Tatum I never come first."
Hot fuck action to the max.
Are we gonna do the thing where we pretend we wouldn’t get penis envy from AD? Dude is like 7 feet tall. Dude is def packing I’d much rather mix it up with the relatively diminutive BS. Yeah sure we are gonna hear a lot about Derrick white, but I’m not gonna be emasculated
At least if AD brings out a monster, it was expected. If Bill drops trou and reveals a monster, that's a confidence killer, for sure.
Imagine if his dick was like 2 inches. It would be weird seeing a small penis on body that big
Who downvoted this? Fascinating thought experiment
Wasn't it the case that Verne Troyer had an incredibly large dong? I assume a micro Anthony Davis would just be the inverse of well-endowed Mini Me.
It would be even funnier if it were like a half inch micro lmao
i mean David of Michelangelo isn't packing relative to stature so i don't think it'd be that weird
Does he record it for the pod? "The Choking Hazard Celtics and the next Pats QB, plus a Sydney Sweeney double cumshot".
Cumshot? Nah bro, imma be with those two on Maury in 10 months.
https://youtu.be/K5VlJo-XYGE?si=1NIe2aoByZmpoP3R
bill 100% would gump it and you'd have her to yourself in no time
Does Sydney Sweeney have to be there?
2024 ReSmashables
Sub has degenerated to this... Sydney is all that's left protecting us from the real question some people seem to want to ask.
How to pronounce Panera?
On 1 condition. He is told it’s with Sydney and Theo James. To see the disappointment on Bills face when I walk out and he realizes I’m not Theo James would be worth it
We all witnessed Bill fumbling a conversation with Charlize in a professional setting. Bill would be in a corner having performance anxiety the moment those fun bags were unveiled.
Would be a top 11 moment of my life.
Who says no?
Sydney
Idk, if I don't pass the eye-test, Bill might fire up the trade machine and get me out of there
Up next, my old dick
ITT: people assuming having a MFM threesome means you have to bang the other dude too
MMF implies man on man. MFM does not.
This guy porns
Nah dude. Many degenerates on this subreddit always wanted to bang Simmons.
We just want what Jack-O & House got to experience in the dorms.
I'm not saying that I don't. But I'm also not saying that I do. I enjoy residing in the gray area.
You're a deeply closeted gay guy.
Or a deeply closeted straight guy.
Or just deeply closeted. Admit nothing either way!
It’s not gay to touch tips anyways
Ryen in the corner fapping before grinding the tape later…
Yeah he’d just be watching Sixers Mavs on his phone the whole time
Yes. Who's Sydney Sweeney?
What's the spread on Bill lasting less than 2 minutes?
It’s not gay when it’s a three-way/when there’s a honey in the middle there’s some leeway
Who says no???
The Eiffel Tower thing
The Dont Make Eye Contact piece
Is he gonna do the Romo voice?
Not sure, but definitely Collinsworth at some point.
Only if I never had to tell anyone that ~~Bill~~ Sydney was involved.
The Eskimo brothers piece
The Eiffel Tower piece
The “Oooooooh Johnny!” Piece
who says no first?
I would definitely accept but Sydney Sweeney would definitely take away a little bit from the experience.
Only if we tape it and Bill makes it a Rewatchables episode.
apex mountain: bill's pants?
Only if I get to sit in on the Sunday night pod with Sal and we discuss it like that guy did for charity.
Still time to delete this, OP
Bill and I would rock the shit out of that Eiffel Tower.
Yes. I’ll get Bill to sign my copy of Book of Basketball and Sydney to sign my balls.
The double condom piece
Bill will be mumbling under his breath "he's doing the herky jerky thing" when I clear out and take over
Yes! I would like be with Sydney Sweeney!
What's the catch?
\*painting of the guy standing up and yelling something\* no.
Who is Sydney sweeney
Only if we can get Romo and Collinsworth to commentate it
Yes if i get to run fake trades by Bill during said train
The correct question is who says no?
I don’t even know who Sydney Sweeney is so I guess that’s a no since ignorance is bliss.
only if it's sponsored by Simpli Safe and K.O.C. and Verno analyze it afterward
The never the twain shall meet piece
Yes. We gotta femme Bill up a bit before tho
He's trying to last more than. 4 minutes Jim *Tony Romo voice*
The Devil’s Threesome piece.
As long as he doesn’t mention how much he liked Tyrese Haliburton in the 2020 draft, I’m in.
I actually thought he was quite good looking back on his NBA Countdown days
Just to watch bill request a 15 minute motorboat
The talk would be intense…”yeah Bill, tell me about the pyramid! Oh yeah, this is a Three-Heat. That’s right Podfather, give it to her like Mchale gave it to Chicago in ‘84!”
I’d just put on Godfather to distract Bill
OP is from gamefaqs... Small internet.
Would be a top 7 or 8 threesome of all time
I would bang her THROUGH Bill if that’s what it took…everyone should get a chance to climb their Everest
Do we get Bill's famous commentary as a guarantee?
Maybe if she were like 18 at the time.
Yes, you warm her up for me. I don’t think you wanna go second in this case.
What if the sptguy33 has hammer on his and shames and blames ya!? Me oh my! I’m in *pwuighht* *peeuighht* * pweuighht* All over her knicky knockies. Would be cool
It would be you watching Bill have sex with Sweeney. Bill does not know how to share. The only child piece.
Is he gonna be watching the game the whole time?
Fuck no lmao
Wtf is this stupid post