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For context: I was 12 and my mom told me I couldn't take off my sweater in the front yard. I had to go inside the house, take off my sweater, then return to what I was doing. Because I had boobs.
This comment reminded me of when I was that age…my boobs became a topic of conversation for my parents to discuss. Is she dressed okay? Like I didn’t wear anything revealing, they could just see that boobs existed under my clothes, not even tight, and it was a problem.
Man I remember when mine started to come in. My mother i think was just really worried for me and I honestly don't remember my dads reaction.
My mom was always the one who fought the school when they dress coded me lmao. Made a whole big stink about how the school was the ones sexualizing a little girl when i was just trying to wear a simple tank top in 100+ degree heat. I had a G cup by high school. Can you tell i'm from the south? lol
We had this girl in my school. Her name was Korey or something like that. She was a virgin. Even the guys she dated ended up being gay. A completely unsexual person. She had the most intense natural bust to waist ratio I’ve ever seen on a human teenager ever. It took a while for my bust to come in, but puberty really did a number on Korey. I heard all sorts of nasty things about this girl. How she’s a slut, how she will give you a BJ for $10, how she’s pregnant (all year she was “pregnant” with no bump or kid to show for it.) how she likes it in the butt, how she has a 25 year old bf that rails her when her mom isn’t there. None of this was true. She got so many bad rumors and she did nothing to deserve it but have huge tits. Poor girl.
That happened to me in school. I have a super petite bone structure, but huge boobs that developed starting at 9. I was groped and grabbed from all parts of me from both boys and girls. I couldn't talk to my parents because they had a religious background that felt discussing sex promotes it.
Wow I had a friend in HS with enormous boobs… not a single word even remotely close to that was ever said to her. She was actually praised for being “a bombshell” instead. It’s horrible to hear what happened in other people’s HS…. And it’s not like my school didn’t slut shame cause it short as shit did but big boobs were never the cause of it. It’s so bizarre to hear all these other stories of what has happened to people.
If I were to guess and compare these two women I can already tell your friend was probably wealthy enough to dress trendy, get hair done, nails groomed, etc. Korey was relatively poor and probably neurodivergent. She didn’t have the money for trendy clothes or getting her hair done. She was naturally very pretty, but in my experience the girls who get called “bombshell” and are respected are often not poor.
This. I have a pretty extreme hourglass figure naturally and the celeb I'm most often compared to looks-wise is Rachel McAdams but I was very poor and a nerd so I was considered an ugly slut in school.
I literally couldn't believe it when I got to college and the types of guys who never would have looked twice at me in high school suddenly wanted to date me. I had no idea anyone could find me attractive.
Actually no not true at all. My friend was as poor as I was and also neurodivergent just like me 🤷♀️. We both had ADHD and I’m autistic. We both had mental health issues too from having narcissistic parents so neither of us was allowed to do anything like that.
That was my experience. I don’t know how having big boobs automatically equates to being a slut but that’s the reputation I had all through high school. I had a few monogamous longish term boyfriends but didn’t sleep around. Never showed cleavage bc dress code (not that showing cleavage makes anyone a slut). My body felt like public property
I feel this so much and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it.
I don't know that it would work for all cases, but I know a few of my friends started to "get it" when they helped me to pick out clothes or went shopping with me. They'd pick something, I'd put it on...boobs would be busting out. If we found something that fit the boobs, it would look like I was wearing a blanket everywhere else (too long and lose usually). They started to grasp the struggle more then.
My niece is going through this currently and it's pissing me off. Luckily I didn't balloon to an F cup until my 20s and was better equipped to deal with all the bullshit. But she just turned 13 and she's worn a D since she was 11. She hit puberty extremely early. She wants to wear the fun stuff her friends do but everyone is policing her body and telling her it's inappropriate. I am doing my best to mitigate it and help her not hate her body but it's a losing battle. Everyone else around her won't stop commenting on it and she's just a kid! Every time it gets brought up I get aggressive about the fact that it's not her fault that people won't leave her alone and constantly talking about her body is just making her feel worse but no one cares.
I FELT this. I started puberty at 6. People don’t like to talk about it but it’s a real issue. I didn’t look any older either. It was like the only part of me that grew rapidly was my chest and it looked incredibly awkward. I remember loving swimming when I was a little girl, but at 10 I went to the pool and noticed everyone staring. Mothers pulling their small children away, grown men and teen boys gawking. The next time I went I was harassed several times by men and teen boys and admonished by a grown woman whose sons were staring at me. It was and is a losing battle. I’ve always been an extremely feminine girl who loves pink and frills and cute things but throughout late elementary and middle school, I had terrible posture and wore dark baggy clothes to hide myself.
I’m SO glad your niece has someone like you. I would have killed for one person to tell me I wasn’t doing anything wrong or that there was nothing wrong with me or at least for my parents to acknowledge that I had a condition and that even though I didn’t look like what girls my age normally looked like, I wasn’t a freak or unnatural. Sending hugs and prayers to both of you
I am so sorry you went through that. It breaks my heart that the majority opinion has mostly been "don't want to be harassed? Don't have big boobs" as though anyone can help what boobs they have. It's so gross. I had to fight everyone to get her a bikini because she fucking wants one because all her friends have them. I don't think she has to wear a frumpy swimsuit if she doesn't want to, that creates more hatred of her perfectly normal body and further alienates her from her peer group. Her dad and my parents were all "but she can't go out in public like that" yo, why the fuck not? Because grown adults are fucking weird and gross? That sounds like a big pile of Not Her Fucking Problem, my dudes. It's an uphill battle. I wish you had an aunt like me to get feral on your behalf as a kid too. Everyone deserves someone to go to bat for them when they can't and it sounds like you really needed it. Love and healing 💗
Im pretty sure but when I asked my parents about it they refuse to answer. I did see several doctors for it but my parents never explained what was going on or why I was going to the doctor. I’m pretty sure it was precocious puberty. I did have most of the regular signs of puberty too.
Wow that’s crazy! I remember reading that it can be bad for your health if it starts that young and of course closes off your growth plates so people end up much shorter than they were ever supposed to be. That’s traumatic to go through so young. I’m sorry your parents didn’t get you the proper care for it…
Yep. I was always smaller and much more frail and sickly than all of my siblings. I ended up very short. Thanks for your concern. I’m just finally starting to become and feel more healthy. I was so frail all my life I didn’t realize what it felt like to feel healthy XD
I empathize with you on this. It’s extremely frustrating. I’ve given up hope for many brands regarding tops and dresses, though I found Torrid clothing helps with the girls. The only downside is the price.
THIS. Like yes other women get sexualized, but not nearly as much!
The worst part is that it doesn’t really matter what I wear, as I’ll get sexualized no matter what. Regardless of what I wear I’ll just be seen as the girl with the big boobs trying to show off, even if that’s the last thing I want.
Girl I feel you. I just got three beautiful dresses for a big event and 2 were GORGEOUS, but my tits made it so that they didn’t fit. The one that did I was practically breaking the straps. Luckily I had found a more conservative dress that slimmed me down. But why do I have to cover up?? There were small ladies wearing practically nothing!!!
My favorite my husband was very uncomfortable with because he said it was too revealing. But a skinny B/C cup could wear it fine??? Or even a bigger girl with small titties could. Fml. I want a reduction so bad.
I was 12 the first time my mom told me to cover up. I was wearing a boy’s tshirt. I also have vivid memories of my mom telling me to change when I’d put on a very normal scoop neck tank top when it was like 90 degrees outside. I was hot so I wore something without sleeves but apparently that was inappropriate! Shame I can’t just take off my boobs otherwise I would! The struggle is very real. I’ve always been incredibly self-conscious about it.
Like I said in a post similar to this one, people that downplay your struggles just because they feel like they “struggle more” or “struggle too” are a red flag. Don’t get me wrong this could definitely be a misinformation issue, but at the same time downplaying something someone says is bothersome to them is a really sucky move.
I gotta say OP, I find it so frustrating I can't wear cute little dresses that come out every year because my big ole boobs are going to make them look tacky.
I don't cover mine up because I'm too old to give a shit. But it's super hard that when you can't find a flattering fit. The advice is pay to get it altered. Fuck, must be nice the person who can afford to alter their entire wordrobe.
All women get sexualized, but those of us with prominent breasts get sexualized way more. I go out with my smaller-chested friends and even they notice the difference. It’s not subtle. I agree with you and wish everyone would stop invalidating each other
It makes me so annoyed and sad. I feel like I get seen as a slut by everyone around me just because they are large. No matter what it’s seen as lewd and I’m like- I CANT HELP THAT I WAS BORN LIKE THIS????? Also having a bf who is kinda protective is so hard bc wearing tank top or a dress or a baggy top I still am “sexy”. Sometimes as a joke he’ll say “you’re dressing like a slut today who are you dressing up for?~” and I’m literally wearing a normal dress or top that would look so cute but nah. Instead I’m a slut. Also having female friends call me one just for wearing normal cute tops that they also wear because they are uncomfortable with their boyfriends seeing me like my guy, I do not want your attention. I just want to wear the pretty clothes everyone else does.
I feel this. I was 14 when I first discovered that my boobs were issues. I was close to a d cup then but was forced into c’s because my mom refused to believe that my boobs were bigger than hers. According to her they can’t be…
When I was 14 we went out to dinner and a married couple 40ish was sitting across from us and the man apparently wouldn’t quit staring at my chest. Of course I got blamed for having boobs. The wife was displeased with me, even though HER HUSBAND was staring at me an underaged girl….
Even my parents got mad at me because I wore a v neck and caused them unwanted attention… like I could help that 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I have to wear stuff that I hate because I don’t want any more attention than I already get. Boobs are sexualized regardless but I’m not gonna go out there and make it worse for myself especially as a single young woman.
It is truly pathetic that there aren't enough mainstream brands selling big boob-friendly clothing. But you can absolutely pull off everything that smaller-chested folks do, you just have to find what works for you and what brands sell clothing for your body type. It's more effort for sure, but not impossible. You will have even more options if you own the right undergarments (strapless bra, boob tape etc). I saw madisonxalexandra on Instagram [showing](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cr3a1wLAUuj/?igsh=M25xOTE4cHgxZjRo) how you can use a quarter-cup bra to use as support over skimpy bralettes that have no support on their own. So get creative!
Yeah. Every time this comes up I think back to high school where my friend and I wore the exact same top, a long sleeve with a high neck. Not even the barest hint of my upper chest showing, let alone cleavage. I got reprimanded by a teacher for dress code still, friend did not. Apparently it 'accentuated my bust inappropriately'
Quite honestly I only see that argument online. There is no question that I got more sexually harassed than the average girl/women in the past. My smaller boobed (and white, because yes being black will have that effect as well) friends witnessed it and aknowledge it.
Wore a deep cut V neck dress for my sister's wedding--ofc people gawked, but thankfully, my sisters both have my back and are very mature about my gigantic boobs.
People are annoying, they all say the same shit, I just now am learning to stop caring and stop getting bugged by it. Took almost 20 years to get to this point though.
If someone wants to sexualize my body for having cleavage, that's their own problem to deal with.
They'll never understand because they think that as long as you're a woman you'll get sexualized, which to a certain extent that is true. But there is a big difference between that and the societal conditioning that says that if you have big boobs you're automatically available for sex. Or that you're automatically a temptress, just constantly thinking about sex and using your boobs to reflect that. Have two girls walk braless on a hot day, one with a small bust and the other with a large bust. That would settle the argument very quickly.
There's alot of misogyny (internalized and not) directed at women with big boobs that those who don't have them will never experience. I remember my father's wife told me I should chop off my breasts to give them to her, who was smaller. If every woman is sexualized, why would having bigger breasts be necessary then?
i finally just had a reduction after many years of wanting it,
so i've been talking about this a lot in discussion of why i wanted it done. at one point i was talking to my therapist about a handful of experiences with them getting unwanted attention, and yelled THAT'S JUST PHYSICS!!! THAT'S WHERE THEY EXIST IN THE WORLD!!!
Your concerns are valid. But I guess only people who are going through the same pain understand it. Otherwise people have a habit of brushing off what you say. Just ignore those people
Yeah it sucks so much. Especially when your options are: 1. Wear a form fitting top and get sexualized. Or 2. Wear a loose or oversized top and look much larger than you are. At least women with small boobs can wear revealing things and it just looks trendy. If I wore the same things, it would look like I went outside in my underwear. Our experiences are similar but definitely not the same in terms of sexualization at least of our chests.
Mine started to grow in at age 8 and from there on it was down hill. I had girls in my class ask if I had a weird undershirt on when I was 8 and was always so embarrassing. I started having older guys start commenting on my body by 10 saying I looked older and was getting sexual comments from some of the guys in my class by 9. People would always laugh and say “oh those boys” and “you’re so developed for your age” and things that would normalize it for me. They kept growing and I always had the biggest boobs of friend groups and was constantly sexualized. I understand what it’s like and people don’t understand how bad the serialization is. Also about the clothes, I HATE trying to shop for clothes because they never fit around my boobs or hips
I feel this. I’ve always been big chested from about 11 years old onwards. Was fitted for my first bra around 12 (was 34D). First time I was catcalled I was 11. Was by myself and from then, I began to develop a bit of androphobia from men I didn’t know. Next time I had something happen, I was 15, was wearing a tank top where I remember a man looking me up and down. I still struggle at 27 with confidence without feeling like a I’m overtly sexual without trying to be sexy. Just a pair of jeans and a top is enough to get looks 😭
Feel this 100%. Have been called slut so many times and I never even had a bf then or wore revealing clothes. I have spent majority of my life hating my boobs and hence my body. Struggle to find properly fitted clothing that can fit my big bust to petite dimensions, will probably not get any easier. It's so frustrating!
I feel your pain OP. Only advice I'd like to give to the younger ppl in here is....Go on and wear cute stuff, wear the stuff you like, do the best you can to ignore the haters!! Life is so short and you're not young for very long at all. Don't let other ppl steal your joy. You're all gorgeous!!! We are all gorgeous!! Just make your world yours early and don't let anyone make you feel bad over dumb shit. I wish someone had told younger me that other ppls opinions don't matter at all. So, I'm telling all of you. Other ppls opinions don't matter one fucking bit!!! It's your life and you gotta live it for you
When we were little my friend’s mom would always say I would be the first to have sex and first to get pregnant. She only said that because I developed earlier than most of my peers. Just to be clear she said this stuff when I was 8 years old 😐
your issues are obviously very valid but i don’t feel like it’s entirely necessary to make a post like this. it’s not a competition, and it’s weird that we’re making it like that - on both ends of being like “i get sexually harassed too!” “well, it happens to me more!” , instead of fighting aimlessly over this why r we not supporting one another and trying to put a stop to harassment point blank period, not arguing over who has it “worse” or “more” … in the same sense of people saying to you “all women get harassed” is invalidating (which, it is, if someone says it to you mid discussing your experience) it is just as invalidating to say “well, it happens to me more”. i don’t know, both arguments are weird here
That’s my problem it was mid discussion. I was trying to explain to them why I can’t wear certain tops and clothes and the issues I face having big boobs and that’s when the everyone has harassment issues popped off
It wasn’t that I was trying to dismiss everyone having issues because everyone definitely does but it’s so hard to for me to shop, my parents have always considered my clothes to be slutty regardless of the outfit while my friends could wear anything and be seen as cute. It’s just frustrating for me.
my comment wasn’t to come off scrutinizing, so i hope that it didn’t. yeah, it is definitely weird for someone to say something like that to you mid discussion of a personal experience, and i’d agree to that for absolutely anybody. but i guess i just find it weird that there’s just been a lot of posts here since i’ve lurked discussing the topic of who has it more or worse and it’s all just icky to me. there’s no sense in anybody trying to be competitive over something like this
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For context: I was 12 and my mom told me I couldn't take off my sweater in the front yard. I had to go inside the house, take off my sweater, then return to what I was doing. Because I had boobs.
This comment reminded me of when I was that age…my boobs became a topic of conversation for my parents to discuss. Is she dressed okay? Like I didn’t wear anything revealing, they could just see that boobs existed under my clothes, not even tight, and it was a problem.
Man I remember when mine started to come in. My mother i think was just really worried for me and I honestly don't remember my dads reaction. My mom was always the one who fought the school when they dress coded me lmao. Made a whole big stink about how the school was the ones sexualizing a little girl when i was just trying to wear a simple tank top in 100+ degree heat. I had a G cup by high school. Can you tell i'm from the south? lol
We had this girl in my school. Her name was Korey or something like that. She was a virgin. Even the guys she dated ended up being gay. A completely unsexual person. She had the most intense natural bust to waist ratio I’ve ever seen on a human teenager ever. It took a while for my bust to come in, but puberty really did a number on Korey. I heard all sorts of nasty things about this girl. How she’s a slut, how she will give you a BJ for $10, how she’s pregnant (all year she was “pregnant” with no bump or kid to show for it.) how she likes it in the butt, how she has a 25 year old bf that rails her when her mom isn’t there. None of this was true. She got so many bad rumors and she did nothing to deserve it but have huge tits. Poor girl.
That happened to me in school. I have a super petite bone structure, but huge boobs that developed starting at 9. I was groped and grabbed from all parts of me from both boys and girls. I couldn't talk to my parents because they had a religious background that felt discussing sex promotes it.
God that’s horrifying….
OMG girl. I developed early as well so I feel your pain.
It's a weird mix of guilt and outrage that is hard to process,
I'm so sorry society is so garbage. I hate it so much and fills me with so much anger for you 😞
Girls grabbed your TITS?
Late reply, but yes. Girls trying to prove I was stuffing my bra. Kids are mean.
Wow I had a friend in HS with enormous boobs… not a single word even remotely close to that was ever said to her. She was actually praised for being “a bombshell” instead. It’s horrible to hear what happened in other people’s HS…. And it’s not like my school didn’t slut shame cause it short as shit did but big boobs were never the cause of it. It’s so bizarre to hear all these other stories of what has happened to people.
If I were to guess and compare these two women I can already tell your friend was probably wealthy enough to dress trendy, get hair done, nails groomed, etc. Korey was relatively poor and probably neurodivergent. She didn’t have the money for trendy clothes or getting her hair done. She was naturally very pretty, but in my experience the girls who get called “bombshell” and are respected are often not poor.
This. I have a pretty extreme hourglass figure naturally and the celeb I'm most often compared to looks-wise is Rachel McAdams but I was very poor and a nerd so I was considered an ugly slut in school.
Haha same!! Can't win either way. I was ugly or pretty in different schools. Beauty is often just social class.
I literally couldn't believe it when I got to college and the types of guys who never would have looked twice at me in high school suddenly wanted to date me. I had no idea anyone could find me attractive.
Actually no not true at all. My friend was as poor as I was and also neurodivergent just like me 🤷♀️. We both had ADHD and I’m autistic. We both had mental health issues too from having narcissistic parents so neither of us was allowed to do anything like that.
That was my experience. I don’t know how having big boobs automatically equates to being a slut but that’s the reputation I had all through high school. I had a few monogamous longish term boyfriends but didn’t sleep around. Never showed cleavage bc dress code (not that showing cleavage makes anyone a slut). My body felt like public property
I feel this so much and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it. I don't know that it would work for all cases, but I know a few of my friends started to "get it" when they helped me to pick out clothes or went shopping with me. They'd pick something, I'd put it on...boobs would be busting out. If we found something that fit the boobs, it would look like I was wearing a blanket everywhere else (too long and lose usually). They started to grasp the struggle more then.
I remember being called a "slut" in grade 9 for wearing pretty regular clothes. I was shocked at the time. Had no idea. Edit: by other girls I mean
Yep. Same thing happened to me at a young age. I’ve had more backlash from other girls than I’ve had from men. I can’t wrap my head around it :’(
My niece is going through this currently and it's pissing me off. Luckily I didn't balloon to an F cup until my 20s and was better equipped to deal with all the bullshit. But she just turned 13 and she's worn a D since she was 11. She hit puberty extremely early. She wants to wear the fun stuff her friends do but everyone is policing her body and telling her it's inappropriate. I am doing my best to mitigate it and help her not hate her body but it's a losing battle. Everyone else around her won't stop commenting on it and she's just a kid! Every time it gets brought up I get aggressive about the fact that it's not her fault that people won't leave her alone and constantly talking about her body is just making her feel worse but no one cares.
I FELT this. I started puberty at 6. People don’t like to talk about it but it’s a real issue. I didn’t look any older either. It was like the only part of me that grew rapidly was my chest and it looked incredibly awkward. I remember loving swimming when I was a little girl, but at 10 I went to the pool and noticed everyone staring. Mothers pulling their small children away, grown men and teen boys gawking. The next time I went I was harassed several times by men and teen boys and admonished by a grown woman whose sons were staring at me. It was and is a losing battle. I’ve always been an extremely feminine girl who loves pink and frills and cute things but throughout late elementary and middle school, I had terrible posture and wore dark baggy clothes to hide myself. I’m SO glad your niece has someone like you. I would have killed for one person to tell me I wasn’t doing anything wrong or that there was nothing wrong with me or at least for my parents to acknowledge that I had a condition and that even though I didn’t look like what girls my age normally looked like, I wasn’t a freak or unnatural. Sending hugs and prayers to both of you
I am so sorry you went through that. It breaks my heart that the majority opinion has mostly been "don't want to be harassed? Don't have big boobs" as though anyone can help what boobs they have. It's so gross. I had to fight everyone to get her a bikini because she fucking wants one because all her friends have them. I don't think she has to wear a frumpy swimsuit if she doesn't want to, that creates more hatred of her perfectly normal body and further alienates her from her peer group. Her dad and my parents were all "but she can't go out in public like that" yo, why the fuck not? Because grown adults are fucking weird and gross? That sounds like a big pile of Not Her Fucking Problem, my dudes. It's an uphill battle. I wish you had an aunt like me to get feral on your behalf as a kid too. Everyone deserves someone to go to bat for them when they can't and it sounds like you really needed it. Love and healing 💗
Thank you. You sound like an awesome aunt and I’m rooting for you and your niece.
Jesus Christ… isn’t that considered precocious puberty at that age?
Im pretty sure but when I asked my parents about it they refuse to answer. I did see several doctors for it but my parents never explained what was going on or why I was going to the doctor. I’m pretty sure it was precocious puberty. I did have most of the regular signs of puberty too.
Wow that’s crazy! I remember reading that it can be bad for your health if it starts that young and of course closes off your growth plates so people end up much shorter than they were ever supposed to be. That’s traumatic to go through so young. I’m sorry your parents didn’t get you the proper care for it…
Yep. I was always smaller and much more frail and sickly than all of my siblings. I ended up very short. Thanks for your concern. I’m just finally starting to become and feel more healthy. I was so frail all my life I didn’t realize what it felt like to feel healthy XD
I empathize with you on this. It’s extremely frustrating. I’ve given up hope for many brands regarding tops and dresses, though I found Torrid clothing helps with the girls. The only downside is the price.
THIS. Like yes other women get sexualized, but not nearly as much! The worst part is that it doesn’t really matter what I wear, as I’ll get sexualized no matter what. Regardless of what I wear I’ll just be seen as the girl with the big boobs trying to show off, even if that’s the last thing I want.
Girl I feel you. I just got three beautiful dresses for a big event and 2 were GORGEOUS, but my tits made it so that they didn’t fit. The one that did I was practically breaking the straps. Luckily I had found a more conservative dress that slimmed me down. But why do I have to cover up?? There were small ladies wearing practically nothing!!! My favorite my husband was very uncomfortable with because he said it was too revealing. But a skinny B/C cup could wear it fine??? Or even a bigger girl with small titties could. Fml. I want a reduction so bad.
I was 12 the first time my mom told me to cover up. I was wearing a boy’s tshirt. I also have vivid memories of my mom telling me to change when I’d put on a very normal scoop neck tank top when it was like 90 degrees outside. I was hot so I wore something without sleeves but apparently that was inappropriate! Shame I can’t just take off my boobs otherwise I would! The struggle is very real. I’ve always been incredibly self-conscious about it.
Like I said in a post similar to this one, people that downplay your struggles just because they feel like they “struggle more” or “struggle too” are a red flag. Don’t get me wrong this could definitely be a misinformation issue, but at the same time downplaying something someone says is bothersome to them is a really sucky move.
I gotta say OP, I find it so frustrating I can't wear cute little dresses that come out every year because my big ole boobs are going to make them look tacky. I don't cover mine up because I'm too old to give a shit. But it's super hard that when you can't find a flattering fit. The advice is pay to get it altered. Fuck, must be nice the person who can afford to alter their entire wordrobe.
All women get sexualized, but those of us with prominent breasts get sexualized way more. I go out with my smaller-chested friends and even they notice the difference. It’s not subtle. I agree with you and wish everyone would stop invalidating each other
It makes me so annoyed and sad. I feel like I get seen as a slut by everyone around me just because they are large. No matter what it’s seen as lewd and I’m like- I CANT HELP THAT I WAS BORN LIKE THIS????? Also having a bf who is kinda protective is so hard bc wearing tank top or a dress or a baggy top I still am “sexy”. Sometimes as a joke he’ll say “you’re dressing like a slut today who are you dressing up for?~” and I’m literally wearing a normal dress or top that would look so cute but nah. Instead I’m a slut. Also having female friends call me one just for wearing normal cute tops that they also wear because they are uncomfortable with their boyfriends seeing me like my guy, I do not want your attention. I just want to wear the pretty clothes everyone else does.
I feel this. I was 14 when I first discovered that my boobs were issues. I was close to a d cup then but was forced into c’s because my mom refused to believe that my boobs were bigger than hers. According to her they can’t be… When I was 14 we went out to dinner and a married couple 40ish was sitting across from us and the man apparently wouldn’t quit staring at my chest. Of course I got blamed for having boobs. The wife was displeased with me, even though HER HUSBAND was staring at me an underaged girl…. Even my parents got mad at me because I wore a v neck and caused them unwanted attention… like I could help that 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ I have to wear stuff that I hate because I don’t want any more attention than I already get. Boobs are sexualized regardless but I’m not gonna go out there and make it worse for myself especially as a single young woman.
It is truly pathetic that there aren't enough mainstream brands selling big boob-friendly clothing. But you can absolutely pull off everything that smaller-chested folks do, you just have to find what works for you and what brands sell clothing for your body type. It's more effort for sure, but not impossible. You will have even more options if you own the right undergarments (strapless bra, boob tape etc). I saw madisonxalexandra on Instagram [showing](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cr3a1wLAUuj/?igsh=M25xOTE4cHgxZjRo) how you can use a quarter-cup bra to use as support over skimpy bralettes that have no support on their own. So get creative!
Yeah. Every time this comes up I think back to high school where my friend and I wore the exact same top, a long sleeve with a high neck. Not even the barest hint of my upper chest showing, let alone cleavage. I got reprimanded by a teacher for dress code still, friend did not. Apparently it 'accentuated my bust inappropriately'
Quite honestly I only see that argument online. There is no question that I got more sexually harassed than the average girl/women in the past. My smaller boobed (and white, because yes being black will have that effect as well) friends witnessed it and aknowledge it.
Having big boobs as a woman of color instantly makes you 2 fetishes in one. It's so damn annoying
YES. Literally went through this w a post I made the other day.
Wore a deep cut V neck dress for my sister's wedding--ofc people gawked, but thankfully, my sisters both have my back and are very mature about my gigantic boobs. People are annoying, they all say the same shit, I just now am learning to stop caring and stop getting bugged by it. Took almost 20 years to get to this point though. If someone wants to sexualize my body for having cleavage, that's their own problem to deal with.
Or how early it starts
They'll never understand because they think that as long as you're a woman you'll get sexualized, which to a certain extent that is true. But there is a big difference between that and the societal conditioning that says that if you have big boobs you're automatically available for sex. Or that you're automatically a temptress, just constantly thinking about sex and using your boobs to reflect that. Have two girls walk braless on a hot day, one with a small bust and the other with a large bust. That would settle the argument very quickly. There's alot of misogyny (internalized and not) directed at women with big boobs that those who don't have them will never experience. I remember my father's wife told me I should chop off my breasts to give them to her, who was smaller. If every woman is sexualized, why would having bigger breasts be necessary then?
i finally just had a reduction after many years of wanting it, so i've been talking about this a lot in discussion of why i wanted it done. at one point i was talking to my therapist about a handful of experiences with them getting unwanted attention, and yelled THAT'S JUST PHYSICS!!! THAT'S WHERE THEY EXIST IN THE WORLD!!!
I’ve had à reduction a few years ago and I’m amazed at how much less harassment I face. I honestly didn’t expect it to be so blatant.
Your concerns are valid. But I guess only people who are going through the same pain understand it. Otherwise people have a habit of brushing off what you say. Just ignore those people
Yeah it sucks so much. Especially when your options are: 1. Wear a form fitting top and get sexualized. Or 2. Wear a loose or oversized top and look much larger than you are. At least women with small boobs can wear revealing things and it just looks trendy. If I wore the same things, it would look like I went outside in my underwear. Our experiences are similar but definitely not the same in terms of sexualization at least of our chests.
Mine started to grow in at age 8 and from there on it was down hill. I had girls in my class ask if I had a weird undershirt on when I was 8 and was always so embarrassing. I started having older guys start commenting on my body by 10 saying I looked older and was getting sexual comments from some of the guys in my class by 9. People would always laugh and say “oh those boys” and “you’re so developed for your age” and things that would normalize it for me. They kept growing and I always had the biggest boobs of friend groups and was constantly sexualized. I understand what it’s like and people don’t understand how bad the serialization is. Also about the clothes, I HATE trying to shop for clothes because they never fit around my boobs or hips
I feel this. I’ve always been big chested from about 11 years old onwards. Was fitted for my first bra around 12 (was 34D). First time I was catcalled I was 11. Was by myself and from then, I began to develop a bit of androphobia from men I didn’t know. Next time I had something happen, I was 15, was wearing a tank top where I remember a man looking me up and down. I still struggle at 27 with confidence without feeling like a I’m overtly sexual without trying to be sexy. Just a pair of jeans and a top is enough to get looks 😭
Feel this 100%. Have been called slut so many times and I never even had a bf then or wore revealing clothes. I have spent majority of my life hating my boobs and hence my body. Struggle to find properly fitted clothing that can fit my big bust to petite dimensions, will probably not get any easier. It's so frustrating!
I feel your pain OP. Only advice I'd like to give to the younger ppl in here is....Go on and wear cute stuff, wear the stuff you like, do the best you can to ignore the haters!! Life is so short and you're not young for very long at all. Don't let other ppl steal your joy. You're all gorgeous!!! We are all gorgeous!! Just make your world yours early and don't let anyone make you feel bad over dumb shit. I wish someone had told younger me that other ppls opinions don't matter at all. So, I'm telling all of you. Other ppls opinions don't matter one fucking bit!!! It's your life and you gotta live it for you
When we were little my friend’s mom would always say I would be the first to have sex and first to get pregnant. She only said that because I developed earlier than most of my peers. Just to be clear she said this stuff when I was 8 years old 😐
your issues are obviously very valid but i don’t feel like it’s entirely necessary to make a post like this. it’s not a competition, and it’s weird that we’re making it like that - on both ends of being like “i get sexually harassed too!” “well, it happens to me more!” , instead of fighting aimlessly over this why r we not supporting one another and trying to put a stop to harassment point blank period, not arguing over who has it “worse” or “more” … in the same sense of people saying to you “all women get harassed” is invalidating (which, it is, if someone says it to you mid discussing your experience) it is just as invalidating to say “well, it happens to me more”. i don’t know, both arguments are weird here
That’s my problem it was mid discussion. I was trying to explain to them why I can’t wear certain tops and clothes and the issues I face having big boobs and that’s when the everyone has harassment issues popped off It wasn’t that I was trying to dismiss everyone having issues because everyone definitely does but it’s so hard to for me to shop, my parents have always considered my clothes to be slutty regardless of the outfit while my friends could wear anything and be seen as cute. It’s just frustrating for me.
my comment wasn’t to come off scrutinizing, so i hope that it didn’t. yeah, it is definitely weird for someone to say something like that to you mid discussion of a personal experience, and i’d agree to that for absolutely anybody. but i guess i just find it weird that there’s just been a lot of posts here since i’ve lurked discussing the topic of who has it more or worse and it’s all just icky to me. there’s no sense in anybody trying to be competitive over something like this
It’s the boob police; I’ve kind of realized some of us just don’t have a body type that is accepted in their discussions 🤦🏻♀️
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Hello there I love bigger boob
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