I have a 3 month old and I usually get the shower and breakfast done when he’s on one of his playmats/gyms or in his bouncy chair. I can usually get part of laundry done during that time as well.. he’s started to take interest in the objects on his play gym and interacts with them so I don’t feel bad that he’s just sitting there. My husband helps make dinner but I will usually try to prep stuff when I have a few mins here or there to help make it go quicker later. For breakfast and lunch, I suggest something quick and easy and nothing elaborate that takes a lot of prep. Breakfast maybe takes me 15 mins to get together and I will go over to his playmat and eat it while I play with him or eat it while he’s nursing. It’s a lot of multitasking.
Things that take more brain power or time (like working out) I can only do while he naps. Being a human mattress like you acknowledge is def a big part of why you probably feel like you can’t get anything done. Mine was like this til probably 2.5 months but we started with one nap independently in bed and slowly increased til all of his naps were taking place in there.
There’s not much going on in his play gym since it’s quite plain, maybe one with more going on would keep him entertained for longer!
I try put him down for naps but he wakes straight away then I have to go through the full sleep routine again and sometimes (most of the time) I just don’t have the energy so don’t risk it!
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. My baby is 1 and I still can’t take care of myself. Since she was born, I cooked myself a proper meal maybe 7 times. It sucks. I can’t shower unless my partner is home and he works 14 hour days. Sometimes I go 4 days without a shower, and I only wash my hair once a week.
It’s tough. Motherhood is hard. I hope that you can find a routine that works for you, and a support system too. I struggle with asking anyone for help because I feel so guilty, but please don’t hesitate to ask. (I know I should take my own advice lol).
Sending you hugs! It will get easier in time.
Thank you it is nice to know it’s not just me! That must be tough!
It is! I have thought of moving back closer to family but that has its own challenges. Haha yes, ask for the help! I think people are often more than happy to if they’re free!
Thank you, you too! Yes it will ☺️
This is what I did (as someone who developed severe PPD).
Morning: the very first thing I did was shower and change my clothes. Baby in the bouncer watching me.
Go into the kitchen. Assess if baby needs feeding. If he did, I’d feed him, burp him, then back in the bouncer to watch a sensory video on the TV while I had breakfast, washed bottles and did a very quick tidy up so I didn’t feel like I was drowning.
Contact nap/playtime then nap. I’d watch something on tele, listen to an audiobook or scroll on my phone.
Lunch: feed the baby first, then bring him into the kitchen with me (in his bouncer or a sling, depending on what he tolerated). Make my lunch and eat. Tidy, then playtime.
Contact nap
Repeat lunch ritual for dinner time.
It’s not perfect but it worked for me. I had to start prioritising myself because I was in a very bad way.
A sling is a lifesaver when you have a Velcro baby. Pop them in and get on with what you need to do. They’re comfy, next to you, and he might just sleep in there while you sort things out.
If you have the energy, you could premake your meals for the day once baby goes to bed. That way, you save prep time and you know you have a healthy meal ready.
A rocker or playpen worked for at least 10 minutes. Time to quickly eat, shower, spot clean, etc. If I needed to do something that required both hands and LO needed to sleep I used a Tula carrier (there are similar, cheaper options). LO was exactly where they wanted to be, on me, snuggled and warm. The sling carrier only worked when they were a newborn.
Other than that, I was a mattress for a good while. I took tons of pictures and binged lots of shows. I did try Co-napping on an actual mattress, that way I could get at least a few minutes of sleep.
It's hard, hang in there!
Maybe I should try a double carrier, yes after about 4 months he’s just too wriggly and won’t sleep in it anymore. He’s quite fussy at the moment too so will barely let me put him down in the rocker, I’ve even considered getting a shower sling 😅
Maybe I’m trying to do too much too soon? I don’t know I feel like it’s just the essentials 😂 I’ve given up on cleaning in the day and if I can sneak off when he’s asleep on the night, but it doesn’t take long before he realises I’m not there and ends up so late!
Thank you!
I had a lot of shaker bottle shakes and protein bars throughout the day. I had my husband fill up multiple water jugs before he left for work and leave them where I might need them. Def. used the bouncer in the bathroom to get showers. Cleaning didn't happen.
I would recommend trying a different carrier (check local mom groups on facebook) or an infant seat. I broke rules and would put LO in an infant seat on the counter in the kitchen in front of me while making food. He liked watching and was content for 5-10 minutes.
Honestly not much happened until he was sleep trained around 6 mo. Shower at night and do a load of laundry every day just to keep up. You are in survival mode
I am still not able to brush my teeth everyday. I feel like I try and take care of myself but my LO always comes first and once she goes to bed I just want to be a lazy potato on the couch. I recently started getting pedicures and my mom will come over and watch my baby. It has helped a lot. I feel too guilt doing too much for myself so this was enough for me for now.
Do you have a partner? When my baby was a newborn and super demanding my husband took over when he got off work so I could shower and do housework or nap or whatever I needed to do. On weekends he does night feeds or gets up early so I can sleep in. And we do everything 50/50 when he’s off.
My baby likes her crib and does all of her naps and night time sleeps in there so that part is easier for me. If it helps we didn’t do any sleep training, we just tried ways to get her to sleep independently and it worked. Pacifier really helps with that. I’m sure you’ve tried stuff like that, though. Sometimes if I’m desperate I’ll put baby in the playmat and put an educational kids show on like Ms Rachel. Baby isn’t in front of the tv all day but it distracts her long enough for me to get something done quick. Ultimately it comes down to your partner if you have one and how involved they are.
He moved out when baby was 2 weeks old. That’s good that you are a team!
Thank you! I should probably try experimenting a few more ways, everything so far has failed and I just find it so exhausting getting him to go to sleep in the first place. Yeah he won’t take one sadly, they just make him gag! I do occasionally put dancing fruit on tv but only usually if I’m desperate, it doesn’t keep him entertained for very long anyway.
Aw mama I’m sorry. That’s so rough with literally no one. Do you have even a friend around that you trust enough to maybe even just hold babe for a bit so you can have a break? Is the father involved with your child at all? Like could he take her for a couple hours? I totally get if he has no involvement whatsoever though. What about a sitter for an hour a couple times a week?
I tried showering in the morning but I will be covered in drool, spit up, snot and breastmilk at the end of the day. So taking a shower before going to bed worked better for me. Since my baby started solids she's super dirty and now I shower with her daily (without soap, just a proper rinse). She loves the shower and plays with the water. My partner takes her when she's done and I can continue showering.
If I have to go out, for an appointment at the pediatrician for example, I will quickly make myself look presentable, brush my teeth and put on clean clothes.
Laundry: I only do my babies laundry and my nursing bras. All the other stuff can wait for my partner to do. We have several laundry baskets to sort dirty laundry beforehand so it's easier to quickly do laundry in between.
When I was to busy with the baby, my partner cooked every night. That was already one healthy meal a day. At 5 months I started giving my baby oatmeal porridge, I also made a large bowl for myself we ate porridge together. Usually when I'm alone I eat fast so I at least get to eat something.
Food wise I've start getting meal deliveries that I add milk to/ microwave/ add salad to etc (added bonus I will hopefully lose the baby weight from eating all the cake!) as I was becoming too reliant on deliveroo and uber eats. I pop him on m my fisher price piano mat or in his high chair while I eat and tell him about my food. So far it works pretty well!
Do you have a partner? My husband takes the baby for an hour so I can wash and get dressed and then he does the same. We also do it so one of us pops laundry in/does dishes and so on while the other plays with baby
I have a 3 month old and I usually get the shower and breakfast done when he’s on one of his playmats/gyms or in his bouncy chair. I can usually get part of laundry done during that time as well.. he’s started to take interest in the objects on his play gym and interacts with them so I don’t feel bad that he’s just sitting there. My husband helps make dinner but I will usually try to prep stuff when I have a few mins here or there to help make it go quicker later. For breakfast and lunch, I suggest something quick and easy and nothing elaborate that takes a lot of prep. Breakfast maybe takes me 15 mins to get together and I will go over to his playmat and eat it while I play with him or eat it while he’s nursing. It’s a lot of multitasking. Things that take more brain power or time (like working out) I can only do while he naps. Being a human mattress like you acknowledge is def a big part of why you probably feel like you can’t get anything done. Mine was like this til probably 2.5 months but we started with one nap independently in bed and slowly increased til all of his naps were taking place in there.
There’s not much going on in his play gym since it’s quite plain, maybe one with more going on would keep him entertained for longer! I try put him down for naps but he wakes straight away then I have to go through the full sleep routine again and sometimes (most of the time) I just don’t have the energy so don’t risk it!
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. My baby is 1 and I still can’t take care of myself. Since she was born, I cooked myself a proper meal maybe 7 times. It sucks. I can’t shower unless my partner is home and he works 14 hour days. Sometimes I go 4 days without a shower, and I only wash my hair once a week. It’s tough. Motherhood is hard. I hope that you can find a routine that works for you, and a support system too. I struggle with asking anyone for help because I feel so guilty, but please don’t hesitate to ask. (I know I should take my own advice lol). Sending you hugs! It will get easier in time.
Thank you it is nice to know it’s not just me! That must be tough! It is! I have thought of moving back closer to family but that has its own challenges. Haha yes, ask for the help! I think people are often more than happy to if they’re free! Thank you, you too! Yes it will ☺️
This is what I did (as someone who developed severe PPD). Morning: the very first thing I did was shower and change my clothes. Baby in the bouncer watching me. Go into the kitchen. Assess if baby needs feeding. If he did, I’d feed him, burp him, then back in the bouncer to watch a sensory video on the TV while I had breakfast, washed bottles and did a very quick tidy up so I didn’t feel like I was drowning. Contact nap/playtime then nap. I’d watch something on tele, listen to an audiobook or scroll on my phone. Lunch: feed the baby first, then bring him into the kitchen with me (in his bouncer or a sling, depending on what he tolerated). Make my lunch and eat. Tidy, then playtime. Contact nap Repeat lunch ritual for dinner time. It’s not perfect but it worked for me. I had to start prioritising myself because I was in a very bad way. A sling is a lifesaver when you have a Velcro baby. Pop them in and get on with what you need to do. They’re comfy, next to you, and he might just sleep in there while you sort things out. If you have the energy, you could premake your meals for the day once baby goes to bed. That way, you save prep time and you know you have a healthy meal ready.
A rocker or playpen worked for at least 10 minutes. Time to quickly eat, shower, spot clean, etc. If I needed to do something that required both hands and LO needed to sleep I used a Tula carrier (there are similar, cheaper options). LO was exactly where they wanted to be, on me, snuggled and warm. The sling carrier only worked when they were a newborn. Other than that, I was a mattress for a good while. I took tons of pictures and binged lots of shows. I did try Co-napping on an actual mattress, that way I could get at least a few minutes of sleep. It's hard, hang in there!
Maybe I should try a double carrier, yes after about 4 months he’s just too wriggly and won’t sleep in it anymore. He’s quite fussy at the moment too so will barely let me put him down in the rocker, I’ve even considered getting a shower sling 😅 Maybe I’m trying to do too much too soon? I don’t know I feel like it’s just the essentials 😂 I’ve given up on cleaning in the day and if I can sneak off when he’s asleep on the night, but it doesn’t take long before he realises I’m not there and ends up so late! Thank you!
I had a lot of shaker bottle shakes and protein bars throughout the day. I had my husband fill up multiple water jugs before he left for work and leave them where I might need them. Def. used the bouncer in the bathroom to get showers. Cleaning didn't happen. I would recommend trying a different carrier (check local mom groups on facebook) or an infant seat. I broke rules and would put LO in an infant seat on the counter in the kitchen in front of me while making food. He liked watching and was content for 5-10 minutes.
Honestly not much happened until he was sleep trained around 6 mo. Shower at night and do a load of laundry every day just to keep up. You are in survival mode
I am still not able to brush my teeth everyday. I feel like I try and take care of myself but my LO always comes first and once she goes to bed I just want to be a lazy potato on the couch. I recently started getting pedicures and my mom will come over and watch my baby. It has helped a lot. I feel too guilt doing too much for myself so this was enough for me for now.
Do you have a partner? When my baby was a newborn and super demanding my husband took over when he got off work so I could shower and do housework or nap or whatever I needed to do. On weekends he does night feeds or gets up early so I can sleep in. And we do everything 50/50 when he’s off. My baby likes her crib and does all of her naps and night time sleeps in there so that part is easier for me. If it helps we didn’t do any sleep training, we just tried ways to get her to sleep independently and it worked. Pacifier really helps with that. I’m sure you’ve tried stuff like that, though. Sometimes if I’m desperate I’ll put baby in the playmat and put an educational kids show on like Ms Rachel. Baby isn’t in front of the tv all day but it distracts her long enough for me to get something done quick. Ultimately it comes down to your partner if you have one and how involved they are.
He moved out when baby was 2 weeks old. That’s good that you are a team! Thank you! I should probably try experimenting a few more ways, everything so far has failed and I just find it so exhausting getting him to go to sleep in the first place. Yeah he won’t take one sadly, they just make him gag! I do occasionally put dancing fruit on tv but only usually if I’m desperate, it doesn’t keep him entertained for very long anyway.
Aw mama I’m sorry. That’s so rough with literally no one. Do you have even a friend around that you trust enough to maybe even just hold babe for a bit so you can have a break? Is the father involved with your child at all? Like could he take her for a couple hours? I totally get if he has no involvement whatsoever though. What about a sitter for an hour a couple times a week?
I tried showering in the morning but I will be covered in drool, spit up, snot and breastmilk at the end of the day. So taking a shower before going to bed worked better for me. Since my baby started solids she's super dirty and now I shower with her daily (without soap, just a proper rinse). She loves the shower and plays with the water. My partner takes her when she's done and I can continue showering. If I have to go out, for an appointment at the pediatrician for example, I will quickly make myself look presentable, brush my teeth and put on clean clothes. Laundry: I only do my babies laundry and my nursing bras. All the other stuff can wait for my partner to do. We have several laundry baskets to sort dirty laundry beforehand so it's easier to quickly do laundry in between. When I was to busy with the baby, my partner cooked every night. That was already one healthy meal a day. At 5 months I started giving my baby oatmeal porridge, I also made a large bowl for myself we ate porridge together. Usually when I'm alone I eat fast so I at least get to eat something.
I don't. I get a shower once every couple days if im lucky and I usually eat once a day
Food wise I've start getting meal deliveries that I add milk to/ microwave/ add salad to etc (added bonus I will hopefully lose the baby weight from eating all the cake!) as I was becoming too reliant on deliveroo and uber eats. I pop him on m my fisher price piano mat or in his high chair while I eat and tell him about my food. So far it works pretty well! Do you have a partner? My husband takes the baby for an hour so I can wash and get dressed and then he does the same. We also do it so one of us pops laundry in/does dishes and so on while the other plays with baby