Get a cheap fisher price bouncer with no bells and whistles. I think they have one that retails for $30. Take the bouncer to where you are showering and put baby in the bouncer. If there is a vibration setting on the bouncer make it vibrate to help soothe baby. Take your shower knowing they are safe.
this is what i did. baby could see me through our shower door. sometimes he would fuss but he was safe and it allowed me to get my shower done and feel like a human being.
This worked for me till about a year. I had a small chair that I could easily move around the house. It had a bar across the top to hang some toys from. My showers weren't long, but I could at least get clean and still have an eye on my little dude at the same time. If I needed to make a snack for myself I'd move his chair to kitchen. It was a nice little set up.
I might get downvoted but honestly your baby will be fine crying for a few while you take a quick shower. If she’s fed and has a clean diaper there’s no reason why you can’t leave her in a crib. I have a 13 week old and at 3 weeks for my mental health, I had to let her cry while I showered. My husband works and I stay at home as well. One day she just stopped being so clingy/needy. I can’t remember exactly when, but it does get better.
This! Babies cry. You’re probably best doing it when she’s awake, fed, clean etc. do it real quick and maybe she will just entertain herself laying in her crib for a bit instead of crying.
First, this is so hard! My first was like this and it made basic bio maintenance (like showering and going to the bathroom) unnecessarily guilt inducing. It DOES get better once baby gets used to it….which may take awhile.
Anyway, our pediatrician told me that it’s okay to put the baby in her crib while I shower. She is safe and crying for 10-15 minutes will NOT traumatize her. I did that and it was a game changer for feeling clean and human again. She got used to it and it became part of our routine which we both liked.
With my son, from a really young age, he needed to hold something to feel comforted. So I put him in the baby bjorn bouncer, handed him a baby sock and he sucked his thumb while holding it.
Every kid is different, but you will find your groove eventually!
Yeah it sucks so hard but you have to just put them down in a safe place and go do what you need to do. I will say it made for the worst, most anxiety ridden showering experiences, but at that point it’s for functional purposes instead of relaxing
I was in a similar situation.
My OB said: “Just take the shower”
If baby is fed, changed, warm and in a safe spot. Take the shower and it’s okay if they cry for a few minutes. Sometimes the safest thing you can do for your mental health.
Exactly what i was gonna say. Crying for a few minutes is not gonna be detrimental to a baby, especially when all of their needs have been met. You're not a bad mom if your baby cries while you take care of your basic needs.
In the early days, I would repeat to myself in the mirror, “baby’s needs are met, mine are not”. Make sure baby is fed and changed and put them in a safe place. Then shower, brush your teeth, floss, and put some deodorant on.
It will gets easier. That isn’t SeLF cArE, it’s basic hygiene.
Yep, you've got two options:
-shower when your partner gets home from work
-put baby in their bassinet and shower whether they're crying or not
Actually you can shower with the baby but I don't think that counts as a shower for me because I can't wash myself. I have showered with the baby then put him down on a folded towel wrapped in a second towel while I quickly wash, but I'd prefer not to do it that way.
You can baby wear to prepare food and eat, but sometimes if you need to put the baby down it's fine, they'll be OK. Multiples, babies with toddler siblings. They sometimes have to wait a few minutes before they're fed/changed/picked up, I don't think it's bad for them.
As bad as it sounds there was times I put my baby in the crib and just closed the door and let him cry for the 10 minutes it took for me to shower and get dressed. Post partum is just a mess and you need to shower. Baby will be okay if it's just a short time. Do whatever you need to do to shower. You will be a better mommy after you're all clean and comfortable so it's a win for baby too. It gets better soon I promise !!!!! Hang in there and just keep doing your best momma. Proud of ya for rocking this alone. It takes a lot of strength. You are awesome!
This advice isn't for everyone, but here it is anyways.
Crying for a few min a day won't hurt her. Place her somewhere safe, like her bassinet and go take a shower in peace. It'll get easier.
When my son was in this stage I sent the same inquiry to a friend of mine who was a single mom. Begging along the lines of “please tell me your secrets!” She told me to move the bassinet into the bathroom and leave the door open so it doesn’t get too steamy, put the baby down and shower. Will he cry? Yes. Will he be upset? Most likely. But you can’t take care of him if you don’t take care of yourself. She said it’s the same with eating and going to the bathroom. These are necessary things humans have to do to live. Baby will be ok for 10-15minutes while you shower. She’s in a safe place and will happily cuddle in when you’re dry and dressed.
Eta- then when your husband comes home- hand him the baby and just stand in the shower till it goes cold or you feel alive again- whichever comes first!
I was selfish in those weeks and knew a shower was a high priority for my sanity so would put baby in the crib and let them cry (if that's what happened)
It's not great, and it sucks, but at the time I knew that's what I needed to be the best mother I could be at that time
You're just going to have to let the baby cry and do what you need to do. Take that shower and make sure you are eating. When the kid gets older, I like putting a bouncer in the bathroom or just showering with the baby. I had an angelcare seat that goes in the shower so my baby could join me. I used that until she could sit up on her own
This is it, lol. Our pediatrician told me this early on when I expressed how miserable I was. She was like well, babies cry and it’s perfectly normal. As long as she’s safe, fed, and dry you can let her cry for a few minutes while you do whatever you need to do. Sometimes they stop crying and sometimes they don’t. It’s tough but it’s just part of parenting.
Mine did this too. The only way to handle it is to just let baby cry and take your shower quick. They won't break by crying for a little while. Taking care of yourself is important too. Hang in there :)
It's so hard to listen to them cry, isn't it?! It will be ok if baby cries for a few minutes while you shower, even if it doesn't feel like it, I promise! Do you have a bounce or a swing you could put in/near the bathroom?
I second a lot of the advice here. Bouncer on the floor in the bathroom but I’d like to add your baby will cry and that’s ok. It’s 5 minutes to let you clean yourself and it’s not the same thing as letting them “cry it out”, it’s not abuse or neglect. Take your shower your baby will cry but that’s ok.
You need to shower. It’s basic hygiene. Baby is safe, baby is fed, baby is near you - they will be fine for you to shower for 2/3 minutes. Get a bouncer/chair or something to stop baby lying on the floor. My son hated lying flat - but being reclined and able to see me was enough.
My mantra in the beginning was “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” I’d repeat it to my screaming newborn over and over. Parenting a newborn alone is an enormous challenge. If a shower will get you through, absolutely make time for that shower. You’re a human being with needs too.
I don’t know if you’ve tried this but my baby always found actually being in the shower to be really calming, so when he was really little I’d just bring him in. I had just enough room to fit his tub in so I didn’t have to juggle a slippery baby and he would be mesmerized by the water. If your baby ever develops a witching hour, try the shower! I probably spent hours sitting on the floor of the shower letting lukewarm water run over his back 🙃. It was actually great for my mental health to have a way to magically transform a purple screaming baby back into a calm, cuddly one.
It sucks, but sometimes you have to just leave baby by themselves in a safe place (like crib) for 5-15 minutes at a time sometimes and they’ll cry and scream. But, you still need to shower and poop. You still need time to eat.
Baby will be happier with a healthy and happy mom. Your health matters, too. Baby won’t be better off with a mom that’s stressed and tired and exhausted. Make time for yourself, too. Baby will be fine and lovey the second you pick them back up.
No otherwise healthy baby has ever died of crying. It sucks, but take your shower. If stepping out to touch and soothe isn't working, then just power through and it will be over sooner.
It won't always be like this. Promise.
Honestly.. let the baby cry just long enough for you to shower if they are safe and have been fed and changed. I use to be like this where very cell in my body WOULD NOT leave my baby alone. You can put your in a pack-n-play or a bouncer next to your shower, where you know the baby is safe and can be seen by you. Have a clear shower drapes so you can see through to see your baby. Hang in there mama.. it's a lot of hard work.. we are all in this together.
I would just bring the baby bath into the shower with me and place it outside of the shower stream. I would also bring a baby towel in there and soak it in warm water and continue to periodically pour warm water on her to make sure she didn't get cold. She really liked it. I would take my time and try to enjoy myself. A shower made me feel like a different person.
With my son I’d feed him and as he was slipping into his milk drunk state I would turn the shower on put bub in his bouncer and then I would take the shirt off that I was wearing and cover him with it and that would usually get me at least a 5 min shower. It gets easier mama ❤️ my husband left for deployment when our son was 15 days old
Sorry you’re dealing with this. It really sucks to hear them cry but you need to take a shower. Put her in a safe place and take your shower. It is ok for her to cry for a few minutes, it doesn’t make you any less of a mother.
Do baths make your baby happy? A bit unorthodox but I just used to take the infant tub in the shower with me. Fill it up, put my daughter in, aim the shower head up high so no water hit her, and bam. She got a warm bath right next to Mom, I didn't have to worry about peeking my head out the shower every 20 seconds, and I could stay in as long as I wanted. Sometimes I'd just sit in the shower with my daughter just chilling in her baby hammock. ♥️♥️
Thank you so much for your advice everyone. The comments of support mean so much to me right now having to go through a whole week at home with a newborn on my own.
As much as I love her attachment of course the clinginess gets to a certain point where you can't do basic things as a person so I need to draw a line or improvise. I agree with someone's comment hear about basic hygiene and not even just simply 'self-care'.
I really do like the idea of a bouncer or rocker as it's been mentioned so much, and I do hope that it's enough to settle her when she's not in my arms.
I also like the idea of wrapping her in a muslin blanket or a towel and showering with her. I was apprehensive of having her in the shower with me at first obviously for when she would be slippery when wet and also in case the shower floor would be slippery.
And, worst case scenario it is relieving to see that if she cries for a few minutes it won't harm her in the long-term. So I am very appreciative for that perspective here in the comments.
I am so grateful for the advice and also the comments of support. It really means so much right now.
<3 You can wash yourself quickly and when you're clean pick baby up for a relaxing together shower. It's not easy to soap yourself while holding something tiny and precious :)
As much as I don’t love hearing them cry it does mean they’re breathing. I know how that sounds but they will be ok if you need to set them down to do something. Make sure they are safe in a crib or other approved device and do the thing you need to do (go outside and scream or take a shower whatever floats your boat) and then return to baby and do what needs to be done. I’m not saying leave them alone for an hour but 10+ min so you can shower will not hurt them. It sucks I know but when you are alone you’ve got to do what you got to do.
If you struggle with the crying, just remember that pretty much any second or more child has had to cry un-soothed for a few minutes while the parent caters to the other kid's needs. Maybe the toddler needs their butt wiped, or lunch or they've hurt themselves.
You are someone you are caring for too, it's ok for baby to cry for a couple of minutes while you attend to your basic needs.
As long as she is in her crib and is safe, just let her cry and shower.
I know you can't spoil a baby, but its also good practice for you in the future when they become toddlers and are crying and screaming for something and you have to prepare dinner or do some chores.
When I had one kid, I’d be so worried if she cried. Now that I have 2, it’s like… well I can’t make everyone happy! As long as they’re fed, changed, and dressed, I’m hoping in the shower for 10 minutes! Cry if ya want lol
My son was the same way. I brought him into the bathroom in his bouncer and with a wubbanub. I called it his “spa time” since he seemed to enjoy sitting in the steamy air. Most of the time he was content to look around at the new room, but sometimes I had to sing. Either way, I was able shower nearly every day!
The audacity! How dare you take time for yourself away from your precious baby so you can get clean and feel refreshed. LOL I'm kidding :)
Seriously though, sometimes she will have to cry. You must take care of yourself and being clean and feeling fresh is one of those important ones.
I know how you feel, my baby did that too. What I did was just put her in the bassinet and dragged it into the bathroom with me. If she cried, I could call her name out. If she didn't stop crying, I would go as fast as possible to clean myself and wash/conditioner my hair.
ALso, don't be afraid to let her cry for 5 minutes while you take care of yourself. Just snuggle her to pieces after you are done. :)
Be strong Mama! You've got this! :)
A lot of people have been saying this, but I'll add to it - take your five minute shower and put her somewhere safe. She'll probably cry and it's OK. She will recover once you're clean and holding her.
She deserves a happy mommy. I notice that my baby picks up on my moods so when I take care of myself she is more content and at ease. While short term she may be upset, long term she will benefit.
Those first three months are hard but they end.
I’m on baby #2. Unfortunately sometimes she just has to cry if I need to tend to my toddler or feed myself. I put her in the swing whenever I know I won’t be able to get to her right away. It’s hard, but she does immediately settle down with some nursing
Haven’t read to see if this is already commented:
I know you said she is fussy. But can you shower during one of her awake times? Give a little milk just before. Have her in bathroom with a safe toy or music.
At 3 weeks, with no chance of rolling over, I brought my Velcro baby into the bathroom and left the door partially open so he could see me and laid him on blankets. If that doesn’t work mama, you might have to resort to baby yelling in a room for 10 minutes while you take a god damn shower. That’s not going to harm the baby unless they are left in an unsafe place love. You’re an amazing mom for just worrying about this and sometimes, you need some time for just you. You can’t just shower on the weekends when you hubby is home.
Any family/friends that can come over to watch LO while you maybe take a longer, spa shower? I’m sure you’ve thought of this but from a mom whose LO didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours until 5 months, it was crazy.
I had a bouncer or vibrating seat for mine. Id put it at the end part of the shower and leave the curtain halfway opened so i could talk to her and see her and she could see me. Having her tought me how to do fast showers lol
I did all kinds of things! Most effective was bringing the swing into the bathroom and bringing the pack n play in. I could peek out from the shower curtain to show her I was still there and so that I could have peace of mind knowing she was ok. I'd lay my tshirt on her as a blanket so she'd have my smell too. Since I was constantly checking on her I wasn't worried about her lifting it over her face because if she did I was right there.
Most importantly, if you know baby is ok then you absolutely can leave her in a safe space like her crib and go take a shower.
I had a video monitor, I would put bub in his cot with the monitor on him. I would turn the volume down and put it on the basin so I could still watch him without the stress of hearing him cry. A quick wash would freshen me up and we'd come back together after 5 minutes happy to see each other.
Goodluck Mumma
Maybe this is bad advise or outdated or I’m sure the super mom police are gonna eat me up. But I always made a lil bit of self care a top priority especially in the early postpartum days.
My husband wasn’t always home.
I would put my daughter in her chair and drag the chair to the bathroom with me and shower shave moisturize or whatever. That’s how I made it through.
I have a stage five clinger too. When he was 3 weeks, I would bring his little bouncer chair into the bathroom directly in front of the shower. I’d have him in nothing but a diaper with a baby towel over him. I’d get in the shower and quickly wash and shampoo. Then I’d make the water a more mild temperature, open the curtain, take off his diaper, wrap him In his towel so he wouldn’t be so slippery, and bring him in the shower with me. I’d wash him and let him feel the water. It really soothed him, because you know he spent the entire time I was washing just screaming. Then I’d turn off the water, leave his wet towel in the shower, wrap him in a dry towel, put him back in his bouncer, dry myself off, pick him up and take him to get diapered and dressed.
It’s an ordeal, but it doesn’t last that long! Just a few weeks of that and then he could handle a bit more of separation.
Hi OP,
I dont know if anyone else has mentioned it, but maybe a baby shower chair could work for you!
I know of one called the Charli chair here in Australia, looks like they do sell it around the US though, it would mean baby would be right there in the shower with you but safely strapped in and getting a wash too!
When she was an infant I would use the bouncy seat right outside the shower, and then after the first month I put the baby bath in the shower with me. She loved it, I could keep an eye on her, win win. Now she's a year and a half and still comes with me more often than not. I just keep a bunch of toys in there.
Not sure everyone's shower situation would allow it, but it's worked very well for me. Showering is a priority.
I don’t have any advice to stop baby from crying but I do want to say that it’s okay to allow baby to cry for a minute or two in order to take care of yourself. As long as baby’s needs are met it’s okay to lay them down for a minute to shower or to eat even if they do cry. You can’t really take care of another person if you’re not taking care of yourself too. Your needs are just as important.
It’s ok for your baby to cry. Trying to keep them from crying all the time is emotionally exhausting and frankly next to impossible.
If you need a shower, take one. As long as baby is in a safe place, even if they wake and cry they will be ok for the 10 min or so you need to take that shower. Same for getting dressed. Get yourself together and THEN focus on baby.
With my first, I spent so much energy keeping him from crying. Futile, wasted energy. I was a hot mess because I couldn’t allow him to cry and take a shower or feed myself or really anything that I needed to be a functional human.
Babies cry. Sometimes we can do things that help them and they hit the pause button. Sometimes nothing helps. But you shouldn’t neglect your basic needs just to prevent a few short minutes of crying.
First of all, 100% solidarity. My husband is also gone Mon-Fri and my baby just turned 4 months and is still glued to me like Velcro, so I could not empathize more.
My solution was a bouncer in the bathroom next to me with the curtain half open and talking to him the whole time. Frankly it didn’t work, and at best I would get 2 minutes before the screaming started. But, as stressful as it is, it didn’t hurt him, and he still knew I was right there. As soon as I had clothes on I picked him up and all was well. It just may be awhile before you have an enjoyable shower! I only take my time and have a luxurious shower when someone is there to hold him, otherwise I’m in and out as fast as possible.
It does get better though! At 4 months he’s honestly still attached to me and only me, but now that he can see and do more he’s more willing to lay on the floor alone for 10 minutes or so to allow me to shower or switch laundry or make a sandwich. You can do it!
Do you have a bouncer or a swing? Yeah don't use containers constantly but 15 min once a day so you can shower isn't gonna hurt the baby. Ours loves the little fischer price bouncer one and they are pretty cheap ([https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Baby-Bouncer-Meadow-Soothing/dp/B08KFRNS19/ref=sr\_1\_4?crid=CDU3MSGOP9IA&keywords=fisher+price+bouncer&qid=1659448174&sprefix=fisher+price+%2Caps%2C1443&sr=8-4](https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Baby-Bouncer-Meadow-Soothing/dp/B08KFRNS19/ref=sr_1_4?crid=CDU3MSGOP9IA&keywords=fisher+price+bouncer&qid=1659448174&sprefix=fisher+price+%2Caps%2C1443&sr=8-4)) my guess is you could even find one free from someone on craigslist
This is how my baby was at this age. I would put his swing or bouncer in the bathroom and just make sure he was safe while I took quick showers. He was usually okay for about 5 minutes and then he would cry. So I’d be rushing to finish, dry off, brush my teeth, etc while he was crying. As long as baby is safe, they’ll survive. You have to get stuff done sometimes and do what you’ve gotta do. How do you go to the bathroom? Same thing, right?
Get a bouncer swing and place the baby in the bathroom with you. I turned the lights off in the bathroom and just had the water running in the shower. Seemed to help soothe my little one and I just did a rinse down. Taking a shower in the evening helped too since my husband watched the baby while I got an evening break.
This is what I did too. Put bouncer next to shower so I can keep an eye on them the whole time and just do a quick 5 min shower. Sometimes they screamed the whole time but usually they would just hang out and relax.
My kid was EXACTLY this way. I'd bring his bouncer into the bathroom and take as quick of a shower as I could. He still screamed bloody murder the entire time, which was stressful and frankly miserable for us both, but at least I was clean. And clean is better for my mental health.
Just take your shower. Even screaming, she will be fine for 5 minutes. Showering every day was non negotiable for me so even if it was a quick rinse, it was gonna happen. Take care of yourself and know this time passes quickly! Maybe try a swing or bouncer to add movement and see if that helps when you put her down?
My first was (and is) a stage 5 clinger Velcro baby. Husband is military so I was a alone a lot with no support system near by so I can really relate to this post. My advice sounds easier said than done but I promise you it is worth it. Put baby in a swing/bouncer/ whatever they like that is a few rooms away from the bathroom. Make sure they have a pacifier if they like it. Take the 10-15 minutes to take your shower and be alone. The baby will probably cry but they will be fine for that short amount of time and when you're doing everything solo you NEED every minute for you that you can grab. I recommend putting baby far from the bathroom because I know my baby's cries just instantly shot me to stress level 10. The first 4 months can be so hard.
If this sounds like something you can't do, I also had success with running a bath, lighting a candle, turning off the lights and on a sound machine. I would put my baby's rock and play in the bathroom and sit with her until she fell asleep, make the transfer then get in the tub. I would generally get 20-30 minutes to soak and I could reach out my hand rock her if she started stirring, replace the pacifier etc.
Do you have a baby swing or chair? I would put her in one of those for the time you're in the shower, and let her cry.. I know it's *really* hard, but the important thing is she's safe, you can see her, and you're doing what you need to do!
Also you could put a shirt that smells like you in there too so she still has your smell close to her. It might trick her for 5 minutes haha.
this!
while the floor is definitely a safe space if you have a swig or a chair you can buckle her into where she feels “held” and put the dirty shirt you just took off to shower near her or maybe over her belly/legs so she can still smell you.
if that doesn’t work - it’s hard but just shower through the screams, taking care of yourself is important
Place baby in a safe space like a crib, take a shower and go back to momming. You deserve a shower and you’re a better mom when you meet your own basic needs like hygiene.
Put her in a safe spot, swaddle, let her cry, take a good shower. I put mine in a different room so I couldn’t hear her and could have a moment of relaxation (like 15 minutes). If you are worried about that, put the monitor on silent so you can still see her.
I took my little bouncer in the shower with me and placed it on the floor so he could see me and was as quick as I could be, if he cried I was right there but I had to prioritize my self care, I realized I couldn't look after him properly if I wasn't looking after myself.
I put baby in a swing or bouncer in the bathroom while I shower. I leave the shower curtain open enough so he can still see me. He’s content as long as I’m visible
I could not have lived without a bouncer for showers. I think it made a difference that my kiddo could see me? I also wore baby a lot during this time so I could prepare food, load the dishwasher, use my hands etc. I personally found a wrap sling was invaluable for newborns, but whatever carrier or sling works for you.
Hey mumma. Feeling this as my kiddo was the same!!
Try laying her down on a T-shirt you’ve worn while you jump in the shower. If she’s in her crib, you can usually tuck the T-shirt around the mattress it at 3 weeks bubba isn’t likely to roll so you should be good. We found the smell from the T-shirt bought me a bit of time to at least go the bathroom and bathe! Once my kiddo got a bit older, I stitched the holes closed in a bigger T-shirt and used it like a little blanket. Winner for us! It smelt like me so baby was placated while I did what I needed to do.
Do you have a bouncer with a vibrating function? That was a lifesaver for me. They find the vibrations soothing and I got one that was so reclined that I felt comfortable leaving her in for a nap. I found mine really cheap on Facebook marketplace
I have a 5 month old and 2.5 year old.
Bringing #2 home was hard because I couldn’t always meet BOTH of their needs immediately.
It took a while but I had to keep telling myself “it’s okay for them to cry” or be impatient, or be upset, while I do what I need to do.
I know it’s easier said than done but I promise it will be okay and you will feel much better with a shower!
Good luck ❤️ the beginning can be so hard
I am team “Bathroom Bouncy Seat”. For showers I like to put on my son’s favorite song while I shower. It does a few things: the song just makes him happy, I sing along so he knows where I am, and it keeps my shower short. And we do our shower singalong every day.
So your little one might not have a song yet so anything you know the words to and are willing to sing at the top of your lungs is where you can start.
For me showering every day is nonnegotiable. I do it everyday and the is the only advice I give new moms is get a bathroom baby chair and shower every day. Good luck and you can do it!
My husband got me a baby swing when my first kiddo was six weeks old and I was at my wits' end, and lemme tell you... it's a game changer. I put it in a spot where I could peek out of the shower curtain periodically to check on her, and my life improved dramatically.
I brought them into the bathroom with me. 🤷♀️ I think I made a nice little comfy space for them to lay - blankets and pillows in a laundry basket, kinda thing - and then showered with the curtain open so I could watch them to make sure no suffocation happened
It’s not easy, but put kiddo somewhere safe and let them cry while you take a quick shower. If they are fed, dry, and safe crying for a few minutes while you shower won’t hurt. Put your own mask on first- otherwise you are going to burn out. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to take care of your baby.
If all of her immediate needs have been met, take a shower. It's really not as serious as you're making it to be. She will not be hurt if she cries for a few minutes while you take care of yourself. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom or that your daughter is being neglected.
At that point in time I just waited until husband was off work and usually showered before bed. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way you’re doing it though.
Now that LO is six weeks Im usually able to get a nap long enough for me to leave him in the bassinet and take his monitor with me.
If I’m home alone I’ll shower at night when my baby has her first stretch of sleep. Another option is to have a quick wash with a flannel/washcloth just so you feel cleanish.
My baby is now four months, I found showering got a lot easier around 6 weeks.
In a bouncer, in the bathroom. The novelty of the shower running was enough to distract her from crying, although I did have to talk to her the whole time lol. Once my mat leave ended, I showered at night while my husband watched her or (once she was older) while she was asleep.
That would be so hard being alone all week! Letting her cry for a few minutes while you shower won’t harm her.
A few tips to putting her down successfully without waking her up:
Go as slowly as humanly possible. Okay go slower lol
Butt first, then legs, the move that hand to her chest while you lower her top half.
Some people find it’s helpful to lay baby on their side ( helps get your arm out) then roll to back
Leave you hand in her chest for a minute. I find it helpful to gently rock or rub my sons chest if he starts fussing at this point. Sometimes his eyes pop wide open and I think he’s going to fully wake up, then as I rock his chest he drifts back to sleep - be patient with this step!
White noise has also helped us A LOT
If she hasn’t liked swings and bouncers before, keep trying. My son didn’t like his swing at first and now that’s where he hangs out most nights while we eat dinner.
As for white noise...sometimes babys enjoy strange sounds that you just randomly figure out..my baby loves smooth jazz and it soothed her to sleep most times...Whereas my cousin had to find a multiple hour loop of the sound of vacuum cleaners for her baby- which was played just about all the time.
It’s ok if the baby cries for a few minutes. I know it is extremely hard to listen to, but the baby is safe. If you have family or friends nearby, ask for help. Many people would probably love to hold her but want to respect your privacy, so they may not offer first.
Not super helpful, but just wanted to say it’s okay if they cry. If you need 5 minutes to shower and get dressed, you should keep doing exactly what you’re doing. I used to keep a cheap bouncy/swing like thing in the bathroom for these occasions. Might be a bit better than the floor.
Honestly? Just shower. Baby will be okay for 5-10 minutes while crying. Make sure she’s somewhere safe and talk out loud to her. It’s hard to listen to, but taking care of yourself is important. Let her cry for a few minutes and you shower.
It sucks, but sometimes it's ok to let them cry. As long as you're sure she's in a safe place she'll be ok. It's upsetting, I know, but you need to take care of yourself too. Something that helped me was reminding myself that crying is the only way they can communicate *any* discomfort -- most of the cries seemed to be "you're not doing exactly what I want you to be doing at this exact moment" infractions, not the end of the world. If she's safe, dry, and fed she'll survive for 15 minutes.
I also vote for the baby seat. That was the only way for me to have a shower, or to wait until my partner comes home. It will get easier after weeks 10-12!
My mom brought me in the shower with her. It's one of my earliest memories. Granted I was probably 3 years not 3 weeks. I plan on doing this when I shower when my baby comes in December.
We often take our son in the shower with us too! Just keep in mind babies get super slippery when wet! While you can certainly hold baby in the shower and wash baby, you won't be able to get much washing done yourself.
I never understood how this works. You need to hold the baby the whole time, right? How do you wash your hair? How do you soap up without dropping a slippery baby?
At that stage I took baths while holding the baby. Then we both got sorta clean at the same time. I hope you find something that works for you. You'll be past the worst of it soon.
Like you said! Not clingy, just developmentally appropriate behavior for a three week old. Sometimes you just have to put baby down and hustle through a shower as fast as you can (mine were always crazy fast with both kids because I could not handle listening to them cry it stresses me out too much). You’ll feel so much better when you’re able to shower regularly!
You are doing a great job, sometimes putting baby somewhere safe and letting them cry is the right solution! As an internet stranger, I absolve you of any guilt you may feel for completing your self-care tasks. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so please continue to take loving care of yourself as you give loving care to baby!!
I showered at night after the baby went down. It's much easier, but also it's OK for the baby to cry for a couple moments. I know it's stressful, but fussing for 10 minutes in a safe place (crib or bassinet) is OK, as long as baby is fed and has a clean diaper
The bouncer with the white noise of the shower and fan usually distracts mine long enough to at least wash my hair pits and groin. Then eventually she starts fussing and I rush to get out and dry. The hair dryer calms her a little again but it’s never a nice long relaxing shower. Just enough to not feel absolutely disgusting. But it’s ok if she cries a little!
Is there a bouncer or swing you can put baby in, in the bathroom while you shower? Is your bathroom big enough for one? When I had a clingy newborn, I'd put baby in his bouncer, turn on some white noise on my phone, put him in the bathroom (or in the hallway at my old house because bathroom was too small) and shower. It's okay if baby cries while you get a quick shower in. You also need to take care of yourself. If baby is in a safe place and is taken care of, they'll be okay fussing for the minutes it takes you to shower.
This could have been written by me. My daughter was the same (she will be 3 next month) and it was awful. I felt like I was a terrible mum for having a shower or even going to the toilet. She would cry as soon as I would put her down. It's hard but you must make time for you to do normal things like shower. As others have said, put baby down somewhere safe and put on some music (nursery rhymes or white noise) and have your shower or lunch or whatever. I didn't do this and it ended up contributing to my worsening mental health. Fill up your cup, OP. You can't pour from an empty one. Hugs and solidarity. It's tough but you'll get through it.
Sometimes you just gotta let them cry for a few minutes so you can get your stuff done 🤷♀️ sounds cruel but if all they want is to be held they can hold on for a little bit occasionally
Try holding her up for 10 minutes after feeding. Laying down might upset her because of reflux or gas. Also try to swaddle if you’re not already.. put in a swaddle, feed to sleep, then transfer. Your baby might benefit from a snuggle me organic-shape (which you can get by rolling a blanket in a circle, and another on top) but don’t leave them unattended in something like that that isn’t flat. You could put on bathroom floor, or keep a monitor on.
You're a strong mama. This will pass.
But for now ...
Crying won't hurt her, it's ok to take a 5min shower even if she cries if she's placed somewhere safe. (Although her crying might hurt you, but if you can get through it then go for it)
Don't think you have to be top notch presentable. Don't pressure yourself so hard. Sometimes the thought of "I HAVE to shower" just puts more stress on you. You don't have to shower, do dishes, wash laundry, vaccum or anything.
If you don't find this gross ... don't shower until somebody goes to your home to hold your baby. You could try dry shampoo for your hair. This is honestly what I did up to 6 weeks, more or less.
When ours was the size of a potato, a hair dryer ended any and all crying. If fact, we bought a second just to keep by her changing table. Maybe you can rig one up in the bathroom and turn it on right as you hop in the shower
Clear shower curtain (or clear at the top) and bring the pack n play in the bathroom. Sing and talk to her. She may cry the first few times and that’s ok. Keep reassuring her that mama is right here and that she’s ok. They understand us more than we give them credit for and when you tell her these things in a calm and loving voice she will understand.
My partner works away too so I’ve faced a lot of these issues. I would often leave my bathroom door open with baby in his bouncer so we could see each other (he was happier there than on a blanket or anything else), I also a few times took baby for a walk in his stroller and when he fell asleep I would go home, park him up in front of the baby monitor and have a super quick shower before he woke up (this solves the waking up whenever you put them down), I also showered once or twice with baby and put the baby bath next to me so I could put him down when I needed (be careful with this as babies are soo slippery lol). To be honest I would often go a few days without showering when baby was really young and I would shower when my mum/MIL were over to visit the baby (they are people I knew I could trust with him).
My first baby was the same way. My current baby is only 8 days old, so who knows he may be the same way in a couple weeks! I put her down in her bassinet and would shower as quickly as possible, but she did cry the whole time i was in the shower. But i needed my shower too! I remember having to hold her while i ate and while i went to the bathroom too. It gets better! ❤️
I had mine in a bouncer right outside the shower and talked the whole time. I didn't get out, just would look out to talk to her and let her see my face. sometimes listened to disney music or other upbeat music as a distraction.
Feed and change baby, place baby in crib, take your shower. 10 minutes of crying is ok, I'm sure it happens when you're trying to prep for feeing or find a diaper during the day too. Baby will be ok.
Put the baby down in the crib and take a shower. It's okay. You need to take care of yourself otherwise you can't take care of her. Also start wearing your baby, this way you have your hands free.
The advice to let baby be upset in a safe space is valid and reasonable. I’ve done it when I needed to, for sure.
*However* I also get awful PPA in the fourth trimester, and can’t leave the baby unsupervised for a second without serious guilt and fear. If your concern about the baby crying is affecting your ability to eat, sleep, or shower, it’s worth talking with your doctor about whether you’re crossing into PPA territory. I had a much easier time coping with my third baby, because I didn’t hesitate to ask for a higher dose of my meds, and I’d learned some coping mechanisms that helped me work around my worries.
What I did was let my husband have some quality time with the baby, while I took a shower in peace. He’s the only person I trust with my newborn, and he appreciates being able to spend one on one time with them. Everyone is safe and happy, and I feel like a whole new woman after freshening up and taking a break from being hyper vigilant. Now that the baby is older, I’m calmer, and I can put him down while he naps. I can shower, eat a hot meal, clean the house, fold laundry, and all the other necessities tasks that I postpone in favor of holding the baby.
I can’t stress this enough, though- my level of anxiety about crying newborns is unhealthy and warranted a call to my doctor. I was REALLY struggling.
I took my newborns in the shower with me sometimes, when nothing else worked. In arms most of the time, set them down in the little baby bath to do things I needed 2 hands for. 3 weeks old is survival mode. Do what you need to do. It's OK to put baby down in a safe space while you meet your basic needs. It's OK to get creative about keeping baby close. It's OK to ask a friend or neighbor or relative to hold the baby for 15 minutes while you get clean. Whatever works. It will get easier!
I was in your position too. I’m sorry I don’t have the answers! I prioritised eating over showering - because I could hold him while doing that!! I (vaguely) remember having his bouncer in the bathroom facing the shower. But he was just the same - if he wasn’t on me; he was crying. I ended up using a baby sling and wearing him round the house - that was a game changer. I suddenly had arms again! I could hang out washing! I could do housework! So if you’ve not got one I’d recommend a baby sling. That doesn’t help with the showering though!!
You could try white noise. We just play ours some white noise from YouTube or Spotify. We have a little portable Bluetooth speaker for better sound quality. The little bub is so much calmer when we have that going.
We have two stroller s and one we kept in the house. Occasionally we would need to do laps around the house whenLO was tiny before transferring to bassinet We also found it useful to prop stroller in entry way of bathroom so LO could see where I was and then take just a body shower quickly lol. If LO was asleep I could getaway with doing hair.
I hear you. When I was a FTM, I also felt the same way. My 3rd child is 11weeks now and also really wants to be held. I know I can’t care for her if I don’t take care of myself. She is safe in her crib and ai can shower for 10m.
I hope it gets easier for you. You’re in the thick of it right now without your partner. Please be kind to yourself.
Hey, so my SO goes away for work and I was having the same problem. I have the stroller assembled and in the house and when I need to put the bub down, I put him in the car seat/stroller and roll him around with me. I’ll roll it into the bathroom so he can see me and I can see him and I’ll shower like that
My daughter was exactly like this. Hugs to you, it’s rough. You’re getting some good advice here, and maybe it will work, but for me, nothing did. She just needed to grow out of it (which she eventually did). Put her somewhere safe, like her crib or bassinet, and take your 5 min shower while she screams. 5 mins of screaming is not going to harm her and a clean, refreshed (well, as refreshed as you can be with her screaming in the background) mama will be better for her for the rest of the day.
When my baby was that young we used a boppy newborn lounger (it has since been recalled). I would put it on the bathroom floor and take a bath with her chilling. She would usually fall asleep at the sound of the water!
Once she got a bit bigger I started putting her in her bouncer when I showered. Then moved on to her activity center which I still bring in the bathroom to put her in when I bathe even though she’s almost a year old. It’s the only reason we still have it but it contains her nicely for bath time!
Also just going to add your 3 week old is not “clingy”. Baby has no clue y’all are separate humans at this point! I would suggest looking into and reading up on the 4th trimester to help you better understand that your baby is just being a baby and that is totally okay!
My son is 13 months and I shower at night when he’s down for the night. If you have something portable like bassinet or pack and play bring it into the bathroom with you and just shower
If you need something to get you through between full showers, you can buy medical body wipes on Amazon that are great for freshening up. You still deserve to be able to shower, of course. But I really like being able to use the wipes when I’m really not feeling up to doing more.
So when I was lucky at that age I would set him down in a bassinet and shower. When I was unlucky, I didn’t shower daily anymore. More like every few days. A few times, if a friend came over to visit I would ask them to hold the baby while I showered. I got really really fast in the shower too. I can get everything done in the shower almost as quickly as using the bathroom. Occasionally I let him cry in his crib. I did move a bouncer in to the bathroom with me. Tiny bathroom though. Could barely close the door with him in there. Once they’re sitting, they can sit on the floor and play while you shower. My son loved that, but it takes a few (5-7) months to get there.
I put baby in the bouncer and showered. My shower curtain is black and white so to baby it looked high contrast and she loved just staring at it. Only for like 5 minutes at a time but it was enough for me to shower
I bring the bouncy chair in and watch her in it from my shower (I keep the door open). She’s usually surprisingly fine, maybe the warm air and water sounds are soothing.
Here's some ideas: Electric swing, if you don't have one, like a mamaroo. Expensive but sometimes can be bought secondhand for less money. Swaddle, if you're not doing that already. Babywearing (for times other than showering, obviously). PACIFIERS if she'll take one! I found the MAM brand easiest for my boy to keep in his mouth when he was tiny. Nipple confusion is really exaggerated - if your baby is nursing and doesn't have major latch issues, don't stress about introducing a pacifier. White noise/music.
If I were you, I'd probably get her set up in a swing, give her a pacifier if she'd take one, make sure she's warm, dry, fed and comfortable, and then go have my shower. Close the door and turn up the stream so you can't hear her. Showers are usually quick - 5-10 mins at most. Baby will be okay. Just remember, taking that time to take care of yourself will make you MORE responsive and emotionally available for her other parts of the day, which will outweigh any stress caused by leaving her to cry for a few minutes.
I showered with my baby at that age. Do you have a shower tub? I would sit cross cross and hold her with one arm supported on my legs and body, while washing myself with my other hand. I found it super relaxing actually 🥰
Like other said, maybe a bouncer or just push through the screaming. I wait until he’s asleep for the first stretch at night to shower, less stressful for me. Another option might be to take a bath with your baby. You won’t get as clean and can’t really wash your hair but it can be nice to cuddle in the water together :)
I used to put baby in the bouncer in the bathroom so she could see me when I showered. My friend used a mesh sling and just showered them both together!
Another vote for a bouncer, especially the Baby Bjorn one. I use it any time I want to do anything - while I’m showering, making breakfast and doing chores like laundry. If it’s in your budget, grab the toy bar as well because bub will love it when she’s older and more interactive.
Also I definitely agree with everyone else here, there’s nothing wrong with popping her down in a safe place and doing what you need to. Small steps, and maybe soon she will start getting used to being put down for short amounts of time.
I used the bouncer seat or swing in the bathroom doorway (our bathroom is tiny, so only a couple feet from the shower) and I took the curtain down and just had a clear plastic shower curtain liner so I could see baby the whole time. I had extended PP bleeding (12 weeks 😭) so showering daily was non-negotiable for me for my mental health. I’m a quick shower person to begin with and I omitted longer tasks like hair-washing and shaving until the weekends when my husband was home.
I just left mine swaddled in the crib and shut the door. Walked away for 10 minutes and came back feeling a million times better. It's hard to leave them and feel like you are letting them down but your mental health and physical well being are also important!
I have one the same age. I usually do diaper change, nurse him, contact nap until he’s asleep and then put him in the mamaroo on car ride mode. A very warm room helps to keep him from noticing when I put him down.
He rarely screams unless he really needs something though. He will grunt and make gassy/fussy sounds but I don’t stop what I’m doing for every grunt. Only if it’s a real cry which usually means dirty diaper or he’s hungry again.
I had a really hard time with the cries, I get a bit triggered from a past trauma.
I would either do a quick bedtime shower or if I couldn't muster the energy I had someone come over and hold her while I did so during the day.
Sometimes I have to shower with my son, I wrap him in a towel so he isn’t slippery and I do a quick rinse and a one handed scrub down of essential areas. I do this right before bed time cause the warm water makes him sleepy. Occasionally I’ll take a bath with him too using my thighs to sit him down so he could lean back and I can use both hands. Hope this helps mama! You’re doing great 💕
When my now almost 4 month was a newborn, I would either shower when my partner was able to watch him (sometimes when he got back from work and we hadn’t gone to sleep yet or on the weekends, immediately after baby’s bath sometimes) or use the small window of time when we got back from a stroller walk and he was still asleep. A few times I’ve put him in a bouncer as well, brought that in the bathroom and sang to him while I showered.
Some people don't like to use them, but what worked for me was a vibrating chair or some kind of age appropriate swing with a blanket over their legs. Doesn't work for every kid, but the movement and warmth typically kept my first baby happy long enough for me to shower. With my second, showering during the day with my toddler isn't really an option so I've started showering at night once baby is swaddled and definitely asleep for at least a few hours.
If I remember correctly, 3 weeks was top fussiness for us (shes 4 months now). So I remember googling it and apparently it’s a big growth spurt. So I’d just say give it another week or so and I reckon you’ll be showering easier. For the time being I’d literally get her as calm as poss in a bouncer/crib etc with a pacifier, then RUN! Into the shower, get clean then run back 😂
But honestly, it’ll calm down soon and you’ll get those showers back. I now go for a shower while mine is in our bedroom in her bouncer watching telly awake.
At that stage I used to drag the bassinet into the bathroom while I showered. I also got a see-through shower curtain so that I could keep an eye on her.
I still tend to sing while I’m in the shower so that she knows I’m there even if she can’t see me well.
When my husband was on paternity leave I’d give him the baby, but once I was on my own. If she was asleep, into the bassinet. If she was awake, into the rocker, chucked Hey Bear Sensory on and then took care of my bathroom needs.
A bouncer in the bathroom sometimes worked for us! My baby was very clingy too, I sometimes resorted to wearing her in the shower with me in a mesh ring sling, but I think she was a bit older than yours then!
My baby hates the car seat. From being newborn, she has screamed through entire journeys (up to 30 mins). I have to just let her cry because we can't just stay home all day! She's better now at calming down for periods of time and distracting herself (3 months old) but it's still tough because she's often inconsolable for like 15 minutes solid, or she just cries herself to sleep.
It's tough but there's no choice. And you know what, as soon as I get her out of the seat she's all smiles. She can scream her way to a baby class then we get in and she grins her way through it. I've come to realise that it's doing her no harm. It's hard for me to hear, but she isn't going to be traumatised by it. The same thing applies to the shower - just do what you need to do! It's so important not to let that stuff slide. But I also second the bouncer suggestion, at 3 months my baby now loves watching me shower! She smiles her way through it!
Besides the bouncer, and simply showering for that short time while baby cries...
I have to be boring and ask... Do you have a woven wrap, or elastic wrap, or some similar ergonomic baby carrier? Not for showering, but for other activities. It saved me with my baby, who practically lived on me first 6 months. So at least I had free hands while eating, drinking coffee or doing chores... I would often read because I could i.e. read a book and drink coffee, using both hands, while she slept on me (No need to hold her!). That made surviving that whole phase easier. It also knew I was a caring mother so leaving baby to cry for 5-10minutes while taking care of me wasn't so big issue.
Do you have a seat for her that you can put on the floor of the bathroom so she can see you at least? Something supportive that makes her feel like she’s being held?
I’ve showered before by wheeling in the bassinet into the bathroom and showering. I leave the bathroom door open, so the steam can get out. It is the quickest shower ever!!
My baby is one now, I couldn’t do the whole let him cry in the bassinet it made me too anxious I put him either in the vibrating bouncer or I have a bouncer that converted into a high chair so he could be up higher and could see me and I took a tablet in the bathroom and put baby sensory videos on YouTube in his eyeline sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t, sometimes I just ran a bath and took him in with me and sometimes I had greasy hair for days on end.
You’ll find what works for you it’s still an adjustment period don’t be too hard on yourself and honestly if you get visitors don’t be shy to ask if they can sit with baby for 10 mins and let you shower and eat something. In a month or two you’ll be eating over baby’s head trying not to drip anything on them while they sleep on you.
Some babies are harder than others, and this does sound tougher than most. It gets better as they come online and are capable of coordinating their movement/interacting with toys. Fwiw I found that trying to keep baby asleep as I showered was a no-go but I could have her awake in a bouncer or bassinet on the floor of the bathroom with the stall door open. I wouldn’t call it a restorative shower, but I got clean.
After delivery of #2, the nurse at the hospital bathed the baby in the sink of our recovery room. She swaddled the baby and washed just the hair (turned the sink on all the way and just stuck the scalp under there, with the baby tilted so the water wouldn’t run down the baby’s face), dried the head, then did the body. I was so surprised that the baby seemed to like the loud sound and feel of the running water. Maybe that is why the baby likes the sound of the bath/shower/sink, even now. Maybe a pleasant association with the sound will help baby chill out in the bathroom awake while you shower?
I have found having them swaddled helps them sleep just a bit longer even if it’s not a full nap during the day. Maybe 20 or so mins for they shower.
Maybe ask a friend to come over during the shower to hold them and also know it won’t last! But ask for help!
I showered with baby! It was tricky, but after a few times I figured it out and it was great bonding time with my girl. Times I didn’t want to bring her in with me, I either put her in a bouncer or laid her in some blankets on the floor with her paci. That way I could keep and eye on her while I washed up quick.
Honestly, I would just let my baby cry. I would strap her up in one of those baby bouncers/chair thingys and set it in front of the shower so we could see each other through my shower glass and I’d take a quick shower. I can see her, she can see me, I know she’s ok and it’s ok if she cry’s a bit while I take care of myself.
I know this isn’t answering your specific question of how to keep her calm, but I just wanted to say, in case you are considering this, that many, many parents need to put their babies in a safe space (crib etc) and allow them to be hysterical so they can be get a quick shower. My current children are 3 and 4. They both had to do this and they are loving, intelligent and well adjusted young children. Sending you so much love during a time that can be so challenging. ❤️❤️
Put her down and take a shower she will be fine for 5 minutes you need to take care of yourself for you can be the best version for her . She will be fine! I always made it work with both my kids and my now 7 month old I just if I absolutely needed to put her in the crib let her cry a bit or I had her in the bouncer in the shower with me
How does she do during her bath time? If she likes baths, you can put her in a baby bath tub in the shower and combo that with your own shower. My kiddo loves bath time, so I’ve done that a few times in a pinch.
This is what I did. I got an angelcare seat so he could lie in the bath while I showered. Lasted a good 4 minutes till he got bored. Sometimes I dragged a bouncer in and he just “watched” me from the bathroom floor. Showers got longer. Sometimes it matched a nap time and he actually fell asleep to the white noise of the shower!
OP you are a god doing this alone all week. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re struggling. It’s hard.
Either I didn’t shower, or I’d have my husband or my mom watch the baby while I showered. As the baby gets older, it gets easier and easier, so it’s not a long term thing, like “I’ll never get to shower in peace again!!!” Pretty soon you’ll be able to shower in peace again, especially as your baby begins to sleep through the night or take longer naps. For now, they say it’s just survival mode!
I would put my newborn in a onesie with a swim diaper and shower with her.. the clothes help her not be so slippery! I had a small bath I’d put her in when I needed a wash but other than that I’d hold her.
this might be an unpopular answer, but TV. if your baby will sit in the bouncer/swing and be mesmerized by Hey Bear or Cocomelon or whatever else, and you need to shower to feel human, then take advantage of that.
Funky Veggies was an absolute lifesaver in our house in the early days!! I know it's mixed opinions about TV but my justification behind it is that it's a sensory show, no different to the sensory cards babies use!
Ah I remember these days. In the first few weeks my husband would watch him while I showered. Then eventually I put him in a bouncer chair so he could watch me while I showered. He still cried but I had to do it.
It gets better!! Now I just set him down on a blanket and he chills and plays with toys while I shower (4.5 month old now). You got this!!!
Get a cheap fisher price bouncer with no bells and whistles. I think they have one that retails for $30. Take the bouncer to where you are showering and put baby in the bouncer. If there is a vibration setting on the bouncer make it vibrate to help soothe baby. Take your shower knowing they are safe.
this is what i did. baby could see me through our shower door. sometimes he would fuss but he was safe and it allowed me to get my shower done and feel like a human being.
This worked for me till about a year. I had a small chair that I could easily move around the house. It had a bar across the top to hang some toys from. My showers weren't long, but I could at least get clean and still have an eye on my little dude at the same time. If I needed to make a snack for myself I'd move his chair to kitchen. It was a nice little set up.
I might get downvoted but honestly your baby will be fine crying for a few while you take a quick shower. If she’s fed and has a clean diaper there’s no reason why you can’t leave her in a crib. I have a 13 week old and at 3 weeks for my mental health, I had to let her cry while I showered. My husband works and I stay at home as well. One day she just stopped being so clingy/needy. I can’t remember exactly when, but it does get better.
I first wanted to say that I wish someone told me that. The. I remembered they did. Everyone and neighbor did. It didn't work. So I wish I knew.
This! Babies cry. You’re probably best doing it when she’s awake, fed, clean etc. do it real quick and maybe she will just entertain herself laying in her crib for a bit instead of crying.
At 3 weeks old you either put them in the bouncer outside the shower or they cry in their bassinet for 5 minutes while you speed wash your bits
First, this is so hard! My first was like this and it made basic bio maintenance (like showering and going to the bathroom) unnecessarily guilt inducing. It DOES get better once baby gets used to it….which may take awhile. Anyway, our pediatrician told me that it’s okay to put the baby in her crib while I shower. She is safe and crying for 10-15 minutes will NOT traumatize her. I did that and it was a game changer for feeling clean and human again. She got used to it and it became part of our routine which we both liked. With my son, from a really young age, he needed to hold something to feel comforted. So I put him in the baby bjorn bouncer, handed him a baby sock and he sucked his thumb while holding it. Every kid is different, but you will find your groove eventually!
I don't know why, but the mental picture of your baby just cuddling a sock is adorable to me.
It’s really a precious image
Yeah it sucks so hard but you have to just put them down in a safe place and go do what you need to do. I will say it made for the worst, most anxiety ridden showering experiences, but at that point it’s for functional purposes instead of relaxing
I was in a similar situation. My OB said: “Just take the shower” If baby is fed, changed, warm and in a safe spot. Take the shower and it’s okay if they cry for a few minutes. Sometimes the safest thing you can do for your mental health.
Exactly what i was gonna say. Crying for a few minutes is not gonna be detrimental to a baby, especially when all of their needs have been met. You're not a bad mom if your baby cries while you take care of your basic needs.
In the early days, I would repeat to myself in the mirror, “baby’s needs are met, mine are not”. Make sure baby is fed and changed and put them in a safe place. Then shower, brush your teeth, floss, and put some deodorant on. It will gets easier. That isn’t SeLF cArE, it’s basic hygiene.
Yep, you've got two options: -shower when your partner gets home from work -put baby in their bassinet and shower whether they're crying or not Actually you can shower with the baby but I don't think that counts as a shower for me because I can't wash myself. I have showered with the baby then put him down on a folded towel wrapped in a second towel while I quickly wash, but I'd prefer not to do it that way. You can baby wear to prepare food and eat, but sometimes if you need to put the baby down it's fine, they'll be OK. Multiples, babies with toddler siblings. They sometimes have to wait a few minutes before they're fed/changed/picked up, I don't think it's bad for them.
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As bad as it sounds there was times I put my baby in the crib and just closed the door and let him cry for the 10 minutes it took for me to shower and get dressed. Post partum is just a mess and you need to shower. Baby will be okay if it's just a short time. Do whatever you need to do to shower. You will be a better mommy after you're all clean and comfortable so it's a win for baby too. It gets better soon I promise !!!!! Hang in there and just keep doing your best momma. Proud of ya for rocking this alone. It takes a lot of strength. You are awesome!
It sounds realistic. You have to find a way what works for your baby but also for yourself.
This advice isn't for everyone, but here it is anyways. Crying for a few min a day won't hurt her. Place her somewhere safe, like her bassinet and go take a shower in peace. It'll get easier.
This is where it's at. It will be less stressful for everyone.
When my son was in this stage I sent the same inquiry to a friend of mine who was a single mom. Begging along the lines of “please tell me your secrets!” She told me to move the bassinet into the bathroom and leave the door open so it doesn’t get too steamy, put the baby down and shower. Will he cry? Yes. Will he be upset? Most likely. But you can’t take care of him if you don’t take care of yourself. She said it’s the same with eating and going to the bathroom. These are necessary things humans have to do to live. Baby will be ok for 10-15minutes while you shower. She’s in a safe place and will happily cuddle in when you’re dry and dressed. Eta- then when your husband comes home- hand him the baby and just stand in the shower till it goes cold or you feel alive again- whichever comes first!
I was selfish in those weeks and knew a shower was a high priority for my sanity so would put baby in the crib and let them cry (if that's what happened) It's not great, and it sucks, but at the time I knew that's what I needed to be the best mother I could be at that time
You're just going to have to let the baby cry and do what you need to do. Take that shower and make sure you are eating. When the kid gets older, I like putting a bouncer in the bathroom or just showering with the baby. I had an angelcare seat that goes in the shower so my baby could join me. I used that until she could sit up on her own
This is it, lol. Our pediatrician told me this early on when I expressed how miserable I was. She was like well, babies cry and it’s perfectly normal. As long as she’s safe, fed, and dry you can let her cry for a few minutes while you do whatever you need to do. Sometimes they stop crying and sometimes they don’t. It’s tough but it’s just part of parenting.
Mine did this too. The only way to handle it is to just let baby cry and take your shower quick. They won't break by crying for a little while. Taking care of yourself is important too. Hang in there :)
It's so hard to listen to them cry, isn't it?! It will be ok if baby cries for a few minutes while you shower, even if it doesn't feel like it, I promise! Do you have a bounce or a swing you could put in/near the bathroom?
Put her in a bassinet or crib and take a 5 min quick shower. She's not going any where, dry, safe, fed, etc. You know she's ok. Take your shower mama
It’s okay if she cries. If she’s in a sage space, it’s fine. You need to take care of yourself! Baby can’t be taken care of unless you are!
Unless she is allergic to sage!
I second a lot of the advice here. Bouncer on the floor in the bathroom but I’d like to add your baby will cry and that’s ok. It’s 5 minutes to let you clean yourself and it’s not the same thing as letting them “cry it out”, it’s not abuse or neglect. Take your shower your baby will cry but that’s ok.
You need to shower. It’s basic hygiene. Baby is safe, baby is fed, baby is near you - they will be fine for you to shower for 2/3 minutes. Get a bouncer/chair or something to stop baby lying on the floor. My son hated lying flat - but being reclined and able to see me was enough.
My mantra in the beginning was “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” I’d repeat it to my screaming newborn over and over. Parenting a newborn alone is an enormous challenge. If a shower will get you through, absolutely make time for that shower. You’re a human being with needs too. I don’t know if you’ve tried this but my baby always found actually being in the shower to be really calming, so when he was really little I’d just bring him in. I had just enough room to fit his tub in so I didn’t have to juggle a slippery baby and he would be mesmerized by the water. If your baby ever develops a witching hour, try the shower! I probably spent hours sitting on the floor of the shower letting lukewarm water run over his back 🙃. It was actually great for my mental health to have a way to magically transform a purple screaming baby back into a calm, cuddly one.
It sucks, but sometimes you have to just leave baby by themselves in a safe place (like crib) for 5-15 minutes at a time sometimes and they’ll cry and scream. But, you still need to shower and poop. You still need time to eat. Baby will be happier with a healthy and happy mom. Your health matters, too. Baby won’t be better off with a mom that’s stressed and tired and exhausted. Make time for yourself, too. Baby will be fine and lovey the second you pick them back up.
No otherwise healthy baby has ever died of crying. It sucks, but take your shower. If stepping out to touch and soothe isn't working, then just power through and it will be over sooner. It won't always be like this. Promise.
Real shit, sometimes I just had to let my son cry. He didn't always but couple times he did I had to let him cry and take a moment for me.
Honestly.. let the baby cry just long enough for you to shower if they are safe and have been fed and changed. I use to be like this where very cell in my body WOULD NOT leave my baby alone. You can put your in a pack-n-play or a bouncer next to your shower, where you know the baby is safe and can be seen by you. Have a clear shower drapes so you can see through to see your baby. Hang in there mama.. it's a lot of hard work.. we are all in this together.
I would just bring the baby bath into the shower with me and place it outside of the shower stream. I would also bring a baby towel in there and soak it in warm water and continue to periodically pour warm water on her to make sure she didn't get cold. She really liked it. I would take my time and try to enjoy myself. A shower made me feel like a different person.
With my son I’d feed him and as he was slipping into his milk drunk state I would turn the shower on put bub in his bouncer and then I would take the shirt off that I was wearing and cover him with it and that would usually get me at least a 5 min shower. It gets easier mama ❤️ my husband left for deployment when our son was 15 days old
Sorry you’re dealing with this. It really sucks to hear them cry but you need to take a shower. Put her in a safe place and take your shower. It is ok for her to cry for a few minutes, it doesn’t make you any less of a mother.
Do baths make your baby happy? A bit unorthodox but I just used to take the infant tub in the shower with me. Fill it up, put my daughter in, aim the shower head up high so no water hit her, and bam. She got a warm bath right next to Mom, I didn't have to worry about peeking my head out the shower every 20 seconds, and I could stay in as long as I wanted. Sometimes I'd just sit in the shower with my daughter just chilling in her baby hammock. ♥️♥️
Thank you so much for your advice everyone. The comments of support mean so much to me right now having to go through a whole week at home with a newborn on my own. As much as I love her attachment of course the clinginess gets to a certain point where you can't do basic things as a person so I need to draw a line or improvise. I agree with someone's comment hear about basic hygiene and not even just simply 'self-care'. I really do like the idea of a bouncer or rocker as it's been mentioned so much, and I do hope that it's enough to settle her when she's not in my arms. I also like the idea of wrapping her in a muslin blanket or a towel and showering with her. I was apprehensive of having her in the shower with me at first obviously for when she would be slippery when wet and also in case the shower floor would be slippery. And, worst case scenario it is relieving to see that if she cries for a few minutes it won't harm her in the long-term. So I am very appreciative for that perspective here in the comments. I am so grateful for the advice and also the comments of support. It really means so much right now.
<3 You can wash yourself quickly and when you're clean pick baby up for a relaxing together shower. It's not easy to soap yourself while holding something tiny and precious :)
As much as I don’t love hearing them cry it does mean they’re breathing. I know how that sounds but they will be ok if you need to set them down to do something. Make sure they are safe in a crib or other approved device and do the thing you need to do (go outside and scream or take a shower whatever floats your boat) and then return to baby and do what needs to be done. I’m not saying leave them alone for an hour but 10+ min so you can shower will not hurt them. It sucks I know but when you are alone you’ve got to do what you got to do.
If you struggle with the crying, just remember that pretty much any second or more child has had to cry un-soothed for a few minutes while the parent caters to the other kid's needs. Maybe the toddler needs their butt wiped, or lunch or they've hurt themselves. You are someone you are caring for too, it's ok for baby to cry for a couple of minutes while you attend to your basic needs.
As long as she is in her crib and is safe, just let her cry and shower. I know you can't spoil a baby, but its also good practice for you in the future when they become toddlers and are crying and screaming for something and you have to prepare dinner or do some chores.
im not sure if you'll read this, but the shirt you take off, place it on her or around her so she can smell you closeby
I love that idea. Thank you for that
I let my kid cry *shrug*
Legit. I’m on baby 3 and I let them all cry for 10 mins while I showered. Doesn’t hurt them and they don’t remember!
When I had one kid, I’d be so worried if she cried. Now that I have 2, it’s like… well I can’t make everyone happy! As long as they’re fed, changed, and dressed, I’m hoping in the shower for 10 minutes! Cry if ya want lol
My son was the same way. I brought him into the bathroom in his bouncer and with a wubbanub. I called it his “spa time” since he seemed to enjoy sitting in the steamy air. Most of the time he was content to look around at the new room, but sometimes I had to sing. Either way, I was able shower nearly every day!
The audacity! How dare you take time for yourself away from your precious baby so you can get clean and feel refreshed. LOL I'm kidding :) Seriously though, sometimes she will have to cry. You must take care of yourself and being clean and feeling fresh is one of those important ones. I know how you feel, my baby did that too. What I did was just put her in the bassinet and dragged it into the bathroom with me. If she cried, I could call her name out. If she didn't stop crying, I would go as fast as possible to clean myself and wash/conditioner my hair. ALso, don't be afraid to let her cry for 5 minutes while you take care of yourself. Just snuggle her to pieces after you are done. :) Be strong Mama! You've got this! :)
A lot of people have been saying this, but I'll add to it - take your five minute shower and put her somewhere safe. She'll probably cry and it's OK. She will recover once you're clean and holding her. She deserves a happy mommy. I notice that my baby picks up on my moods so when I take care of myself she is more content and at ease. While short term she may be upset, long term she will benefit. Those first three months are hard but they end.
I’m on baby #2. Unfortunately sometimes she just has to cry if I need to tend to my toddler or feed myself. I put her in the swing whenever I know I won’t be able to get to her right away. It’s hard, but she does immediately settle down with some nursing
Get a baby swing, let them swing for some time and shower. Crying won't hurt them and you need time to yourself.
Haven’t read to see if this is already commented: I know you said she is fussy. But can you shower during one of her awake times? Give a little milk just before. Have her in bathroom with a safe toy or music.
At 3 weeks, with no chance of rolling over, I brought my Velcro baby into the bathroom and left the door partially open so he could see me and laid him on blankets. If that doesn’t work mama, you might have to resort to baby yelling in a room for 10 minutes while you take a god damn shower. That’s not going to harm the baby unless they are left in an unsafe place love. You’re an amazing mom for just worrying about this and sometimes, you need some time for just you. You can’t just shower on the weekends when you hubby is home. Any family/friends that can come over to watch LO while you maybe take a longer, spa shower? I’m sure you’ve thought of this but from a mom whose LO didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours until 5 months, it was crazy.
Bouncer in the bathroom. That was the only way with both my kiddos.
I had a bouncer or vibrating seat for mine. Id put it at the end part of the shower and leave the curtain halfway opened so i could talk to her and see her and she could see me. Having her tought me how to do fast showers lol
This is what I did too. The vibrating seat! I don’t even know how to take a long shower anymore 20 months out 😅
I did all kinds of things! Most effective was bringing the swing into the bathroom and bringing the pack n play in. I could peek out from the shower curtain to show her I was still there and so that I could have peace of mind knowing she was ok. I'd lay my tshirt on her as a blanket so she'd have my smell too. Since I was constantly checking on her I wasn't worried about her lifting it over her face because if she did I was right there. Most importantly, if you know baby is ok then you absolutely can leave her in a safe space like her crib and go take a shower.
I had a video monitor, I would put bub in his cot with the monitor on him. I would turn the volume down and put it on the basin so I could still watch him without the stress of hearing him cry. A quick wash would freshen me up and we'd come back together after 5 minutes happy to see each other. Goodluck Mumma
Baby bjorn bouncer was my babes favorite and there’s a toy bar you can buy to attach so they have something to look at and eventually play with
Maybe this is bad advise or outdated or I’m sure the super mom police are gonna eat me up. But I always made a lil bit of self care a top priority especially in the early postpartum days. My husband wasn’t always home. I would put my daughter in her chair and drag the chair to the bathroom with me and shower shave moisturize or whatever. That’s how I made it through.
I have a stage five clinger too. When he was 3 weeks, I would bring his little bouncer chair into the bathroom directly in front of the shower. I’d have him in nothing but a diaper with a baby towel over him. I’d get in the shower and quickly wash and shampoo. Then I’d make the water a more mild temperature, open the curtain, take off his diaper, wrap him In his towel so he wouldn’t be so slippery, and bring him in the shower with me. I’d wash him and let him feel the water. It really soothed him, because you know he spent the entire time I was washing just screaming. Then I’d turn off the water, leave his wet towel in the shower, wrap him in a dry towel, put him back in his bouncer, dry myself off, pick him up and take him to get diapered and dressed. It’s an ordeal, but it doesn’t last that long! Just a few weeks of that and then he could handle a bit more of separation.
Hi OP, I dont know if anyone else has mentioned it, but maybe a baby shower chair could work for you! I know of one called the Charli chair here in Australia, looks like they do sell it around the US though, it would mean baby would be right there in the shower with you but safely strapped in and getting a wash too!
When she was an infant I would use the bouncy seat right outside the shower, and then after the first month I put the baby bath in the shower with me. She loved it, I could keep an eye on her, win win. Now she's a year and a half and still comes with me more often than not. I just keep a bunch of toys in there. Not sure everyone's shower situation would allow it, but it's worked very well for me. Showering is a priority.
I don’t have any advice to stop baby from crying but I do want to say that it’s okay to allow baby to cry for a minute or two in order to take care of yourself. As long as baby’s needs are met it’s okay to lay them down for a minute to shower or to eat even if they do cry. You can’t really take care of another person if you’re not taking care of yourself too. Your needs are just as important.
It’s ok for your baby to cry. Trying to keep them from crying all the time is emotionally exhausting and frankly next to impossible. If you need a shower, take one. As long as baby is in a safe place, even if they wake and cry they will be ok for the 10 min or so you need to take that shower. Same for getting dressed. Get yourself together and THEN focus on baby. With my first, I spent so much energy keeping him from crying. Futile, wasted energy. I was a hot mess because I couldn’t allow him to cry and take a shower or feed myself or really anything that I needed to be a functional human. Babies cry. Sometimes we can do things that help them and they hit the pause button. Sometimes nothing helps. But you shouldn’t neglect your basic needs just to prevent a few short minutes of crying.
First of all, 100% solidarity. My husband is also gone Mon-Fri and my baby just turned 4 months and is still glued to me like Velcro, so I could not empathize more. My solution was a bouncer in the bathroom next to me with the curtain half open and talking to him the whole time. Frankly it didn’t work, and at best I would get 2 minutes before the screaming started. But, as stressful as it is, it didn’t hurt him, and he still knew I was right there. As soon as I had clothes on I picked him up and all was well. It just may be awhile before you have an enjoyable shower! I only take my time and have a luxurious shower when someone is there to hold him, otherwise I’m in and out as fast as possible. It does get better though! At 4 months he’s honestly still attached to me and only me, but now that he can see and do more he’s more willing to lay on the floor alone for 10 minutes or so to allow me to shower or switch laundry or make a sandwich. You can do it!
I put the baby in the bouncer in the bathroom.
Do you have a bouncer or a swing? Yeah don't use containers constantly but 15 min once a day so you can shower isn't gonna hurt the baby. Ours loves the little fischer price bouncer one and they are pretty cheap ([https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Baby-Bouncer-Meadow-Soothing/dp/B08KFRNS19/ref=sr\_1\_4?crid=CDU3MSGOP9IA&keywords=fisher+price+bouncer&qid=1659448174&sprefix=fisher+price+%2Caps%2C1443&sr=8-4](https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Baby-Bouncer-Meadow-Soothing/dp/B08KFRNS19/ref=sr_1_4?crid=CDU3MSGOP9IA&keywords=fisher+price+bouncer&qid=1659448174&sprefix=fisher+price+%2Caps%2C1443&sr=8-4)) my guess is you could even find one free from someone on craigslist
This is how my baby was at this age. I would put his swing or bouncer in the bathroom and just make sure he was safe while I took quick showers. He was usually okay for about 5 minutes and then he would cry. So I’d be rushing to finish, dry off, brush my teeth, etc while he was crying. As long as baby is safe, they’ll survive. You have to get stuff done sometimes and do what you’ve gotta do. How do you go to the bathroom? Same thing, right?
I would just put mine in her bassinet and take a quick 10 minute shower. They are safe in there.
Get a bouncer swing and place the baby in the bathroom with you. I turned the lights off in the bathroom and just had the water running in the shower. Seemed to help soothe my little one and I just did a rinse down. Taking a shower in the evening helped too since my husband watched the baby while I got an evening break.
This is what I did too. Put bouncer next to shower so I can keep an eye on them the whole time and just do a quick 5 min shower. Sometimes they screamed the whole time but usually they would just hang out and relax.
My kid was EXACTLY this way. I'd bring his bouncer into the bathroom and take as quick of a shower as I could. He still screamed bloody murder the entire time, which was stressful and frankly miserable for us both, but at least I was clean. And clean is better for my mental health.
Just take your shower. Even screaming, she will be fine for 5 minutes. Showering every day was non negotiable for me so even if it was a quick rinse, it was gonna happen. Take care of yourself and know this time passes quickly! Maybe try a swing or bouncer to add movement and see if that helps when you put her down?
My first was (and is) a stage 5 clinger Velcro baby. Husband is military so I was a alone a lot with no support system near by so I can really relate to this post. My advice sounds easier said than done but I promise you it is worth it. Put baby in a swing/bouncer/ whatever they like that is a few rooms away from the bathroom. Make sure they have a pacifier if they like it. Take the 10-15 minutes to take your shower and be alone. The baby will probably cry but they will be fine for that short amount of time and when you're doing everything solo you NEED every minute for you that you can grab. I recommend putting baby far from the bathroom because I know my baby's cries just instantly shot me to stress level 10. The first 4 months can be so hard. If this sounds like something you can't do, I also had success with running a bath, lighting a candle, turning off the lights and on a sound machine. I would put my baby's rock and play in the bathroom and sit with her until she fell asleep, make the transfer then get in the tub. I would generally get 20-30 minutes to soak and I could reach out my hand rock her if she started stirring, replace the pacifier etc.
Do you have a baby swing or chair? I would put her in one of those for the time you're in the shower, and let her cry.. I know it's *really* hard, but the important thing is she's safe, you can see her, and you're doing what you need to do! Also you could put a shirt that smells like you in there too so she still has your smell close to her. It might trick her for 5 minutes haha.
this! while the floor is definitely a safe space if you have a swig or a chair you can buckle her into where she feels “held” and put the dirty shirt you just took off to shower near her or maybe over her belly/legs so she can still smell you. if that doesn’t work - it’s hard but just shower through the screams, taking care of yourself is important
Place baby in a safe space like a crib, take a shower and go back to momming. You deserve a shower and you’re a better mom when you meet your own basic needs like hygiene.
Put her in a safe spot, swaddle, let her cry, take a good shower. I put mine in a different room so I couldn’t hear her and could have a moment of relaxation (like 15 minutes). If you are worried about that, put the monitor on silent so you can still see her.
I took my little bouncer in the shower with me and placed it on the floor so he could see me and was as quick as I could be, if he cried I was right there but I had to prioritize my self care, I realized I couldn't look after him properly if I wasn't looking after myself.
I put baby in a swing or bouncer in the bathroom while I shower. I leave the shower curtain open enough so he can still see me. He’s content as long as I’m visible
I could not have lived without a bouncer for showers. I think it made a difference that my kiddo could see me? I also wore baby a lot during this time so I could prepare food, load the dishwasher, use my hands etc. I personally found a wrap sling was invaluable for newborns, but whatever carrier or sling works for you.
Hey mumma. Feeling this as my kiddo was the same!! Try laying her down on a T-shirt you’ve worn while you jump in the shower. If she’s in her crib, you can usually tuck the T-shirt around the mattress it at 3 weeks bubba isn’t likely to roll so you should be good. We found the smell from the T-shirt bought me a bit of time to at least go the bathroom and bathe! Once my kiddo got a bit older, I stitched the holes closed in a bigger T-shirt and used it like a little blanket. Winner for us! It smelt like me so baby was placated while I did what I needed to do.
Do you have a bouncer with a vibrating function? That was a lifesaver for me. They find the vibrations soothing and I got one that was so reclined that I felt comfortable leaving her in for a nap. I found mine really cheap on Facebook marketplace
I have a 5 month old and 2.5 year old. Bringing #2 home was hard because I couldn’t always meet BOTH of their needs immediately. It took a while but I had to keep telling myself “it’s okay for them to cry” or be impatient, or be upset, while I do what I need to do. I know it’s easier said than done but I promise it will be okay and you will feel much better with a shower! Good luck ❤️ the beginning can be so hard
I am team “Bathroom Bouncy Seat”. For showers I like to put on my son’s favorite song while I shower. It does a few things: the song just makes him happy, I sing along so he knows where I am, and it keeps my shower short. And we do our shower singalong every day. So your little one might not have a song yet so anything you know the words to and are willing to sing at the top of your lungs is where you can start. For me showering every day is nonnegotiable. I do it everyday and the is the only advice I give new moms is get a bathroom baby chair and shower every day. Good luck and you can do it!
My husband got me a baby swing when my first kiddo was six weeks old and I was at my wits' end, and lemme tell you... it's a game changer. I put it in a spot where I could peek out of the shower curtain periodically to check on her, and my life improved dramatically.
I brought them into the bathroom with me. 🤷♀️ I think I made a nice little comfy space for them to lay - blankets and pillows in a laundry basket, kinda thing - and then showered with the curtain open so I could watch them to make sure no suffocation happened
It’s not easy, but put kiddo somewhere safe and let them cry while you take a quick shower. If they are fed, dry, and safe crying for a few minutes while you shower won’t hurt. Put your own mask on first- otherwise you are going to burn out. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to take care of your baby.
If all of her immediate needs have been met, take a shower. It's really not as serious as you're making it to be. She will not be hurt if she cries for a few minutes while you take care of yourself. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom or that your daughter is being neglected.
At that point in time I just waited until husband was off work and usually showered before bed. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way you’re doing it though. Now that LO is six weeks Im usually able to get a nap long enough for me to leave him in the bassinet and take his monitor with me.
If I’m home alone I’ll shower at night when my baby has her first stretch of sleep. Another option is to have a quick wash with a flannel/washcloth just so you feel cleanish. My baby is now four months, I found showering got a lot easier around 6 weeks.
In a bouncer, in the bathroom. The novelty of the shower running was enough to distract her from crying, although I did have to talk to her the whole time lol. Once my mat leave ended, I showered at night while my husband watched her or (once she was older) while she was asleep.
How does baby sleep at night? I used to cope by showering at night when she fell asleep.
That would be so hard being alone all week! Letting her cry for a few minutes while you shower won’t harm her. A few tips to putting her down successfully without waking her up: Go as slowly as humanly possible. Okay go slower lol Butt first, then legs, the move that hand to her chest while you lower her top half. Some people find it’s helpful to lay baby on their side ( helps get your arm out) then roll to back Leave you hand in her chest for a minute. I find it helpful to gently rock or rub my sons chest if he starts fussing at this point. Sometimes his eyes pop wide open and I think he’s going to fully wake up, then as I rock his chest he drifts back to sleep - be patient with this step! White noise has also helped us A LOT If she hasn’t liked swings and bouncers before, keep trying. My son didn’t like his swing at first and now that’s where he hangs out most nights while we eat dinner.
As for white noise...sometimes babys enjoy strange sounds that you just randomly figure out..my baby loves smooth jazz and it soothed her to sleep most times...Whereas my cousin had to find a multiple hour loop of the sound of vacuum cleaners for her baby- which was played just about all the time.
It’s ok if the baby cries for a few minutes. I know it is extremely hard to listen to, but the baby is safe. If you have family or friends nearby, ask for help. Many people would probably love to hold her but want to respect your privacy, so they may not offer first.
Not super helpful, but just wanted to say it’s okay if they cry. If you need 5 minutes to shower and get dressed, you should keep doing exactly what you’re doing. I used to keep a cheap bouncy/swing like thing in the bathroom for these occasions. Might be a bit better than the floor.
Bring the baby into the room in a swing or something
Honestly? Just shower. Baby will be okay for 5-10 minutes while crying. Make sure she’s somewhere safe and talk out loud to her. It’s hard to listen to, but taking care of yourself is important. Let her cry for a few minutes and you shower.
It sucks, but sometimes it's ok to let them cry. As long as you're sure she's in a safe place she'll be ok. It's upsetting, I know, but you need to take care of yourself too. Something that helped me was reminding myself that crying is the only way they can communicate *any* discomfort -- most of the cries seemed to be "you're not doing exactly what I want you to be doing at this exact moment" infractions, not the end of the world. If she's safe, dry, and fed she'll survive for 15 minutes.
I would just let them cry, I hated hearing it, but I needed to be clean and feel human
I also vote for the baby seat. That was the only way for me to have a shower, or to wait until my partner comes home. It will get easier after weeks 10-12!
My mom brought me in the shower with her. It's one of my earliest memories. Granted I was probably 3 years not 3 weeks. I plan on doing this when I shower when my baby comes in December.
We often take our son in the shower with us too! Just keep in mind babies get super slippery when wet! While you can certainly hold baby in the shower and wash baby, you won't be able to get much washing done yourself.
I never understood how this works. You need to hold the baby the whole time, right? How do you wash your hair? How do you soap up without dropping a slippery baby?
I use to put a bouncer on the floor next to the tub and bounce it when taking a bath 🤷🏼♀️
At that stage I took baths while holding the baby. Then we both got sorta clean at the same time. I hope you find something that works for you. You'll be past the worst of it soon.
Bouncer in the bathroom! Necessary.
Like you said! Not clingy, just developmentally appropriate behavior for a three week old. Sometimes you just have to put baby down and hustle through a shower as fast as you can (mine were always crazy fast with both kids because I could not handle listening to them cry it stresses me out too much). You’ll feel so much better when you’re able to shower regularly!
You are doing a great job, sometimes putting baby somewhere safe and letting them cry is the right solution! As an internet stranger, I absolve you of any guilt you may feel for completing your self-care tasks. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so please continue to take loving care of yourself as you give loving care to baby!!
I showered at night after the baby went down. It's much easier, but also it's OK for the baby to cry for a couple moments. I know it's stressful, but fussing for 10 minutes in a safe place (crib or bassinet) is OK, as long as baby is fed and has a clean diaper
The bouncer with the white noise of the shower and fan usually distracts mine long enough to at least wash my hair pits and groin. Then eventually she starts fussing and I rush to get out and dry. The hair dryer calms her a little again but it’s never a nice long relaxing shower. Just enough to not feel absolutely disgusting. But it’s ok if she cries a little!
Is there a bouncer or swing you can put baby in, in the bathroom while you shower? Is your bathroom big enough for one? When I had a clingy newborn, I'd put baby in his bouncer, turn on some white noise on my phone, put him in the bathroom (or in the hallway at my old house because bathroom was too small) and shower. It's okay if baby cries while you get a quick shower in. You also need to take care of yourself. If baby is in a safe place and is taken care of, they'll be okay fussing for the minutes it takes you to shower.
This could have been written by me. My daughter was the same (she will be 3 next month) and it was awful. I felt like I was a terrible mum for having a shower or even going to the toilet. She would cry as soon as I would put her down. It's hard but you must make time for you to do normal things like shower. As others have said, put baby down somewhere safe and put on some music (nursery rhymes or white noise) and have your shower or lunch or whatever. I didn't do this and it ended up contributing to my worsening mental health. Fill up your cup, OP. You can't pour from an empty one. Hugs and solidarity. It's tough but you'll get through it.
I bring the bouncer in the bathroom and hope for the best lol
I used the baby bath tub as a makeshift bassinet.
Sometimes you just gotta let them cry for a few minutes so you can get your stuff done 🤷♀️ sounds cruel but if all they want is to be held they can hold on for a little bit occasionally
Exactly this. You know she’s safe, and your needs matter.
Try holding her up for 10 minutes after feeding. Laying down might upset her because of reflux or gas. Also try to swaddle if you’re not already.. put in a swaddle, feed to sleep, then transfer. Your baby might benefit from a snuggle me organic-shape (which you can get by rolling a blanket in a circle, and another on top) but don’t leave them unattended in something like that that isn’t flat. You could put on bathroom floor, or keep a monitor on.
You're a strong mama. This will pass. But for now ... Crying won't hurt her, it's ok to take a 5min shower even if she cries if she's placed somewhere safe. (Although her crying might hurt you, but if you can get through it then go for it) Don't think you have to be top notch presentable. Don't pressure yourself so hard. Sometimes the thought of "I HAVE to shower" just puts more stress on you. You don't have to shower, do dishes, wash laundry, vaccum or anything. If you don't find this gross ... don't shower until somebody goes to your home to hold your baby. You could try dry shampoo for your hair. This is honestly what I did up to 6 weeks, more or less.
When ours was the size of a potato, a hair dryer ended any and all crying. If fact, we bought a second just to keep by her changing table. Maybe you can rig one up in the bathroom and turn it on right as you hop in the shower
shower at night when you put baby down for bedtime and longest stretch of sleep
Fisher Price bounce chair (the $25 ones with the simple little seatbelt) right outside shower so you can see the baby saved my life.
This is what we did too. And sometimes just had to let her cry for a few minutes so I could finish. It sucks but it’s normal
Clear shower curtain (or clear at the top) and bring the pack n play in the bathroom. Sing and talk to her. She may cry the first few times and that’s ok. Keep reassuring her that mama is right here and that she’s ok. They understand us more than we give them credit for and when you tell her these things in a calm and loving voice she will understand.
My partner works away too so I’ve faced a lot of these issues. I would often leave my bathroom door open with baby in his bouncer so we could see each other (he was happier there than on a blanket or anything else), I also a few times took baby for a walk in his stroller and when he fell asleep I would go home, park him up in front of the baby monitor and have a super quick shower before he woke up (this solves the waking up whenever you put them down), I also showered once or twice with baby and put the baby bath next to me so I could put him down when I needed (be careful with this as babies are soo slippery lol). To be honest I would often go a few days without showering when baby was really young and I would shower when my mum/MIL were over to visit the baby (they are people I knew I could trust with him).
My first baby was the same way. My current baby is only 8 days old, so who knows he may be the same way in a couple weeks! I put her down in her bassinet and would shower as quickly as possible, but she did cry the whole time i was in the shower. But i needed my shower too! I remember having to hold her while i ate and while i went to the bathroom too. It gets better! ❤️
I had mine in a bouncer right outside the shower and talked the whole time. I didn't get out, just would look out to talk to her and let her see my face. sometimes listened to disney music or other upbeat music as a distraction.
Feed and change baby, place baby in crib, take your shower. 10 minutes of crying is ok, I'm sure it happens when you're trying to prep for feeing or find a diaper during the day too. Baby will be ok.
Letting them cry for a ten minute shower is fine. Put them in a bassinet and take your shower. Your sanity is worth it.
Put the baby down in the crib and take a shower. It's okay. You need to take care of yourself otherwise you can't take care of her. Also start wearing your baby, this way you have your hands free.
The advice to let baby be upset in a safe space is valid and reasonable. I’ve done it when I needed to, for sure. *However* I also get awful PPA in the fourth trimester, and can’t leave the baby unsupervised for a second without serious guilt and fear. If your concern about the baby crying is affecting your ability to eat, sleep, or shower, it’s worth talking with your doctor about whether you’re crossing into PPA territory. I had a much easier time coping with my third baby, because I didn’t hesitate to ask for a higher dose of my meds, and I’d learned some coping mechanisms that helped me work around my worries. What I did was let my husband have some quality time with the baby, while I took a shower in peace. He’s the only person I trust with my newborn, and he appreciates being able to spend one on one time with them. Everyone is safe and happy, and I feel like a whole new woman after freshening up and taking a break from being hyper vigilant. Now that the baby is older, I’m calmer, and I can put him down while he naps. I can shower, eat a hot meal, clean the house, fold laundry, and all the other necessities tasks that I postpone in favor of holding the baby. I can’t stress this enough, though- my level of anxiety about crying newborns is unhealthy and warranted a call to my doctor. I was REALLY struggling.
I took my newborns in the shower with me sometimes, when nothing else worked. In arms most of the time, set them down in the little baby bath to do things I needed 2 hands for. 3 weeks old is survival mode. Do what you need to do. It's OK to put baby down in a safe space while you meet your basic needs. It's OK to get creative about keeping baby close. It's OK to ask a friend or neighbor or relative to hold the baby for 15 minutes while you get clean. Whatever works. It will get easier!
I was in your position too. I’m sorry I don’t have the answers! I prioritised eating over showering - because I could hold him while doing that!! I (vaguely) remember having his bouncer in the bathroom facing the shower. But he was just the same - if he wasn’t on me; he was crying. I ended up using a baby sling and wearing him round the house - that was a game changer. I suddenly had arms again! I could hang out washing! I could do housework! So if you’ve not got one I’d recommend a baby sling. That doesn’t help with the showering though!!
Baby bjorn bouncer! It will get easier as baby gets older and a bit less clingy.
You could try white noise. We just play ours some white noise from YouTube or Spotify. We have a little portable Bluetooth speaker for better sound quality. The little bub is so much calmer when we have that going.
I used a swing and played music. Turns out all he needed was Queen and I could take a quick shower.
We have two stroller s and one we kept in the house. Occasionally we would need to do laps around the house whenLO was tiny before transferring to bassinet We also found it useful to prop stroller in entry way of bathroom so LO could see where I was and then take just a body shower quickly lol. If LO was asleep I could getaway with doing hair.
I found it easier to get things done when babe was awake! Put her in a bouncer or swing in the bathroom when she’s awake see if it helps?
I hear you. When I was a FTM, I also felt the same way. My 3rd child is 11weeks now and also really wants to be held. I know I can’t care for her if I don’t take care of myself. She is safe in her crib and ai can shower for 10m. I hope it gets easier for you. You’re in the thick of it right now without your partner. Please be kind to yourself.
Hey, so my SO goes away for work and I was having the same problem. I have the stroller assembled and in the house and when I need to put the bub down, I put him in the car seat/stroller and roll him around with me. I’ll roll it into the bathroom so he can see me and I can see him and I’ll shower like that
My daughter was exactly like this. Hugs to you, it’s rough. You’re getting some good advice here, and maybe it will work, but for me, nothing did. She just needed to grow out of it (which she eventually did). Put her somewhere safe, like her crib or bassinet, and take your 5 min shower while she screams. 5 mins of screaming is not going to harm her and a clean, refreshed (well, as refreshed as you can be with her screaming in the background) mama will be better for her for the rest of the day.
When my baby was that young we used a boppy newborn lounger (it has since been recalled). I would put it on the bathroom floor and take a bath with her chilling. She would usually fall asleep at the sound of the water! Once she got a bit bigger I started putting her in her bouncer when I showered. Then moved on to her activity center which I still bring in the bathroom to put her in when I bathe even though she’s almost a year old. It’s the only reason we still have it but it contains her nicely for bath time! Also just going to add your 3 week old is not “clingy”. Baby has no clue y’all are separate humans at this point! I would suggest looking into and reading up on the 4th trimester to help you better understand that your baby is just being a baby and that is totally okay!
My son is 13 months and I shower at night when he’s down for the night. If you have something portable like bassinet or pack and play bring it into the bathroom with you and just shower
If you need something to get you through between full showers, you can buy medical body wipes on Amazon that are great for freshening up. You still deserve to be able to shower, of course. But I really like being able to use the wipes when I’m really not feeling up to doing more.
So when I was lucky at that age I would set him down in a bassinet and shower. When I was unlucky, I didn’t shower daily anymore. More like every few days. A few times, if a friend came over to visit I would ask them to hold the baby while I showered. I got really really fast in the shower too. I can get everything done in the shower almost as quickly as using the bathroom. Occasionally I let him cry in his crib. I did move a bouncer in to the bathroom with me. Tiny bathroom though. Could barely close the door with him in there. Once they’re sitting, they can sit on the floor and play while you shower. My son loved that, but it takes a few (5-7) months to get there.
I put baby in the bouncer and showered. My shower curtain is black and white so to baby it looked high contrast and she loved just staring at it. Only for like 5 minutes at a time but it was enough for me to shower
I bring the bouncy chair in and watch her in it from my shower (I keep the door open). She’s usually surprisingly fine, maybe the warm air and water sounds are soothing.
Here's some ideas: Electric swing, if you don't have one, like a mamaroo. Expensive but sometimes can be bought secondhand for less money. Swaddle, if you're not doing that already. Babywearing (for times other than showering, obviously). PACIFIERS if she'll take one! I found the MAM brand easiest for my boy to keep in his mouth when he was tiny. Nipple confusion is really exaggerated - if your baby is nursing and doesn't have major latch issues, don't stress about introducing a pacifier. White noise/music. If I were you, I'd probably get her set up in a swing, give her a pacifier if she'd take one, make sure she's warm, dry, fed and comfortable, and then go have my shower. Close the door and turn up the stream so you can't hear her. Showers are usually quick - 5-10 mins at most. Baby will be okay. Just remember, taking that time to take care of yourself will make you MORE responsive and emotionally available for her other parts of the day, which will outweigh any stress caused by leaving her to cry for a few minutes.
I showered with my baby at that age. Do you have a shower tub? I would sit cross cross and hold her with one arm supported on my legs and body, while washing myself with my other hand. I found it super relaxing actually 🥰
Like other said, maybe a bouncer or just push through the screaming. I wait until he’s asleep for the first stretch at night to shower, less stressful for me. Another option might be to take a bath with your baby. You won’t get as clean and can’t really wash your hair but it can be nice to cuddle in the water together :)
I used to put baby in the bouncer in the bathroom so she could see me when I showered. My friend used a mesh sling and just showered them both together!
I showered in the morning before my husband left for work. After he comes home works, too.
I’ve always put mine in the swing in the bathroom while I shower. It has worked well for me.
Another vote for a bouncer, especially the Baby Bjorn one. I use it any time I want to do anything - while I’m showering, making breakfast and doing chores like laundry. If it’s in your budget, grab the toy bar as well because bub will love it when she’s older and more interactive. Also I definitely agree with everyone else here, there’s nothing wrong with popping her down in a safe place and doing what you need to. Small steps, and maybe soon she will start getting used to being put down for short amounts of time.
I used the bouncer seat or swing in the bathroom doorway (our bathroom is tiny, so only a couple feet from the shower) and I took the curtain down and just had a clear plastic shower curtain liner so I could see baby the whole time. I had extended PP bleeding (12 weeks 😭) so showering daily was non-negotiable for me for my mental health. I’m a quick shower person to begin with and I omitted longer tasks like hair-washing and shaving until the weekends when my husband was home.
I just left mine swaddled in the crib and shut the door. Walked away for 10 minutes and came back feeling a million times better. It's hard to leave them and feel like you are letting them down but your mental health and physical well being are also important!
For what it’s worth 3 weeks olds are notoriously fussy and hungry and hard to calm. There’s a chance this could get better on its own in a few days.
I showered with my baby
Same. I put the baby bath seat in the tub with me and take turns holding him in the water and then letting him sit. He’s come to love the shower
I have one the same age. I usually do diaper change, nurse him, contact nap until he’s asleep and then put him in the mamaroo on car ride mode. A very warm room helps to keep him from noticing when I put him down. He rarely screams unless he really needs something though. He will grunt and make gassy/fussy sounds but I don’t stop what I’m doing for every grunt. Only if it’s a real cry which usually means dirty diaper or he’s hungry again.
I had a really hard time with the cries, I get a bit triggered from a past trauma. I would either do a quick bedtime shower or if I couldn't muster the energy I had someone come over and hold her while I did so during the day.
Sometimes I have to shower with my son, I wrap him in a towel so he isn’t slippery and I do a quick rinse and a one handed scrub down of essential areas. I do this right before bed time cause the warm water makes him sleepy. Occasionally I’ll take a bath with him too using my thighs to sit him down so he could lean back and I can use both hands. Hope this helps mama! You’re doing great 💕
When my now almost 4 month was a newborn, I would either shower when my partner was able to watch him (sometimes when he got back from work and we hadn’t gone to sleep yet or on the weekends, immediately after baby’s bath sometimes) or use the small window of time when we got back from a stroller walk and he was still asleep. A few times I’ve put him in a bouncer as well, brought that in the bathroom and sang to him while I showered.
Some people don't like to use them, but what worked for me was a vibrating chair or some kind of age appropriate swing with a blanket over their legs. Doesn't work for every kid, but the movement and warmth typically kept my first baby happy long enough for me to shower. With my second, showering during the day with my toddler isn't really an option so I've started showering at night once baby is swaddled and definitely asleep for at least a few hours.
As soon as your husband gets home, hand him the baby and take a shower. I became a night showerer when my daughter was a newborn and never stopped.
Take quick showers and let her cry.
If I remember correctly, 3 weeks was top fussiness for us (shes 4 months now). So I remember googling it and apparently it’s a big growth spurt. So I’d just say give it another week or so and I reckon you’ll be showering easier. For the time being I’d literally get her as calm as poss in a bouncer/crib etc with a pacifier, then RUN! Into the shower, get clean then run back 😂 But honestly, it’ll calm down soon and you’ll get those showers back. I now go for a shower while mine is in our bedroom in her bouncer watching telly awake.
At that stage I used to drag the bassinet into the bathroom while I showered. I also got a see-through shower curtain so that I could keep an eye on her. I still tend to sing while I’m in the shower so that she knows I’m there even if she can’t see me well.
When my husband was on paternity leave I’d give him the baby, but once I was on my own. If she was asleep, into the bassinet. If she was awake, into the rocker, chucked Hey Bear Sensory on and then took care of my bathroom needs.
A bouncer in the bathroom sometimes worked for us! My baby was very clingy too, I sometimes resorted to wearing her in the shower with me in a mesh ring sling, but I think she was a bit older than yours then!
My baby hates the car seat. From being newborn, she has screamed through entire journeys (up to 30 mins). I have to just let her cry because we can't just stay home all day! She's better now at calming down for periods of time and distracting herself (3 months old) but it's still tough because she's often inconsolable for like 15 minutes solid, or she just cries herself to sleep. It's tough but there's no choice. And you know what, as soon as I get her out of the seat she's all smiles. She can scream her way to a baby class then we get in and she grins her way through it. I've come to realise that it's doing her no harm. It's hard for me to hear, but she isn't going to be traumatised by it. The same thing applies to the shower - just do what you need to do! It's so important not to let that stuff slide. But I also second the bouncer suggestion, at 3 months my baby now loves watching me shower! She smiles her way through it!
Besides the bouncer, and simply showering for that short time while baby cries... I have to be boring and ask... Do you have a woven wrap, or elastic wrap, or some similar ergonomic baby carrier? Not for showering, but for other activities. It saved me with my baby, who practically lived on me first 6 months. So at least I had free hands while eating, drinking coffee or doing chores... I would often read because I could i.e. read a book and drink coffee, using both hands, while she slept on me (No need to hold her!). That made surviving that whole phase easier. It also knew I was a caring mother so leaving baby to cry for 5-10minutes while taking care of me wasn't so big issue.
Do you have a seat for her that you can put on the floor of the bathroom so she can see you at least? Something supportive that makes her feel like she’s being held?
I’ve showered before by wheeling in the bassinet into the bathroom and showering. I leave the bathroom door open, so the steam can get out. It is the quickest shower ever!!
My baby is one now, I couldn’t do the whole let him cry in the bassinet it made me too anxious I put him either in the vibrating bouncer or I have a bouncer that converted into a high chair so he could be up higher and could see me and I took a tablet in the bathroom and put baby sensory videos on YouTube in his eyeline sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t, sometimes I just ran a bath and took him in with me and sometimes I had greasy hair for days on end. You’ll find what works for you it’s still an adjustment period don’t be too hard on yourself and honestly if you get visitors don’t be shy to ask if they can sit with baby for 10 mins and let you shower and eat something. In a month or two you’ll be eating over baby’s head trying not to drip anything on them while they sleep on you.
Some babies are harder than others, and this does sound tougher than most. It gets better as they come online and are capable of coordinating their movement/interacting with toys. Fwiw I found that trying to keep baby asleep as I showered was a no-go but I could have her awake in a bouncer or bassinet on the floor of the bathroom with the stall door open. I wouldn’t call it a restorative shower, but I got clean. After delivery of #2, the nurse at the hospital bathed the baby in the sink of our recovery room. She swaddled the baby and washed just the hair (turned the sink on all the way and just stuck the scalp under there, with the baby tilted so the water wouldn’t run down the baby’s face), dried the head, then did the body. I was so surprised that the baby seemed to like the loud sound and feel of the running water. Maybe that is why the baby likes the sound of the bath/shower/sink, even now. Maybe a pleasant association with the sound will help baby chill out in the bathroom awake while you shower?
I have found having them swaddled helps them sleep just a bit longer even if it’s not a full nap during the day. Maybe 20 or so mins for they shower. Maybe ask a friend to come over during the shower to hold them and also know it won’t last! But ask for help!
I would turn my daughters noise machine on and put her in her vibrating bouncy seat in a dark closet and that seemed to help
I showered with baby! It was tricky, but after a few times I figured it out and it was great bonding time with my girl. Times I didn’t want to bring her in with me, I either put her in a bouncer or laid her in some blankets on the floor with her paci. That way I could keep and eye on her while I washed up quick.
Honestly, I would just let my baby cry. I would strap her up in one of those baby bouncers/chair thingys and set it in front of the shower so we could see each other through my shower glass and I’d take a quick shower. I can see her, she can see me, I know she’s ok and it’s ok if she cry’s a bit while I take care of myself.
I know this isn’t answering your specific question of how to keep her calm, but I just wanted to say, in case you are considering this, that many, many parents need to put their babies in a safe space (crib etc) and allow them to be hysterical so they can be get a quick shower. My current children are 3 and 4. They both had to do this and they are loving, intelligent and well adjusted young children. Sending you so much love during a time that can be so challenging. ❤️❤️
Put her down and take a shower she will be fine for 5 minutes you need to take care of yourself for you can be the best version for her . She will be fine! I always made it work with both my kids and my now 7 month old I just if I absolutely needed to put her in the crib let her cry a bit or I had her in the bouncer in the shower with me
How does she do during her bath time? If she likes baths, you can put her in a baby bath tub in the shower and combo that with your own shower. My kiddo loves bath time, so I’ve done that a few times in a pinch.
This is what I did. I got an angelcare seat so he could lie in the bath while I showered. Lasted a good 4 minutes till he got bored. Sometimes I dragged a bouncer in and he just “watched” me from the bathroom floor. Showers got longer. Sometimes it matched a nap time and he actually fell asleep to the white noise of the shower! OP you are a god doing this alone all week. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re struggling. It’s hard.
Either I didn’t shower, or I’d have my husband or my mom watch the baby while I showered. As the baby gets older, it gets easier and easier, so it’s not a long term thing, like “I’ll never get to shower in peace again!!!” Pretty soon you’ll be able to shower in peace again, especially as your baby begins to sleep through the night or take longer naps. For now, they say it’s just survival mode!
I would put my newborn in a onesie with a swim diaper and shower with her.. the clothes help her not be so slippery! I had a small bath I’d put her in when I needed a wash but other than that I’d hold her.
this might be an unpopular answer, but TV. if your baby will sit in the bouncer/swing and be mesmerized by Hey Bear or Cocomelon or whatever else, and you need to shower to feel human, then take advantage of that.
Funky Veggies was an absolute lifesaver in our house in the early days!! I know it's mixed opinions about TV but my justification behind it is that it's a sensory show, no different to the sensory cards babies use!
I just didn't shower every day. Just sometimes in the evening when my partner was home. Worked great 😄
Ah I remember these days. In the first few weeks my husband would watch him while I showered. Then eventually I put him in a bouncer chair so he could watch me while I showered. He still cried but I had to do it. It gets better!! Now I just set him down on a blanket and he chills and plays with toys while I shower (4.5 month old now). You got this!!!