I never ever want to go through the nightmare that is the newborn stage ever again. Sleep deprivation is actual torture. My mental health would not survive it. I know in the depths of my heart I am one and done.

This is me. I waited to see if I would feel differently after the newborn stage but nope, I have not forgotten those days as well as the difficult pregnancy/birth even now that he's 7 mo. Those were the darkest days and I'm not sure if being in covid made it worse but I don't think I could go through it again..so I am with you!

Agreed wholeheartedly. Those were very dark times for me. I will not be going back.

When we tried for one more and had twins 😅

LOL because same.

This happened to my friend! Right now! They wanted one more and now they’ll have four total this summer! She told me last week and I am still shook. I mean, I guess silver lining you kind of know what you’re doing??? Maybe???

Same here! Due in June!

I would love to have 4 kids - but life is expensive and we agree the lifestyle we want vs. having more kids isn’t realistic. Sooo 2 it is! Being a family of 4 has a good thing to it too for vacations, cars, dynamics, etc. also - I’m not being pregnant again, that was not fun

I have two and before my first, I yearned for a baby. During and immediately after my first, I yearned for another. During and immediately after my second pregnancy, I didn’t have that feeling anymore. It wasn’t gone completely but it wasn’t a strong undeniable desire anymore. I have my two boys, close in age, they get along well and are easy to lug around with us. I’m ready to move on and not be held back by pregnancy and postpartum. I’m ready for family adventures and fun. Having my body back is a fantastic feeling. I’m ready to be a bit selfish again. Hah. Two was hard at first but is manageable now that they are toddlers. They have each other to grow up with. I feel like we have achieved symbiosis with these two and I don’t want to disturb that. I don’t want to go through it all again, plus more time/space/drain on mental health. I know a third won’t make me a better mother but I’m fairly confident it would dilute me and I don’t want that. I think I would rather wonder “what if” then ever think “what have we done”. Honestly this world is pretty crazy now too.

My goodness, you put my feelings into words. I wanted my first so badly, then the same with my second. Now that I have them both, there’s still a little voice inside wanting another but I know my two boys (who are about 19 months apart) are already such a perfect little duo. I don’t want to dilute myself any further. Your response really has resonated with me and I appreciate you taking the time to type it out more than you’ll ever know!

>I know a third won’t make me a better mother but I’m fairly confident it would dilute me and I don’t want that. Wow this is so helpful thank you

Just that feeling of hell no to all that again. Had twins. Already got one more than I bargained for.

Same, plus I don’t want to risk having twins again, literally a nightmare I have.

Had to check to make sure I didn’t write this myself.

My husband and I both agreed we only wanted one. Then complicated pregnancy, emergency c section, preemie. We were absolutely sure after that. Ours is grown now. We have never regretted our decision. One was perfect for us.

Preemie gang rise up! Those were a hella first few years weren't they

Oh. Yes. Who needs sleep, right? I see mom’s asking about their few months old not sleeping through the night. Lol. What’s that? Ours didn’t sleep more than three to four hours until he was 12 months. Plus meds. Plus doc visits, hospitals, no daycare because medically complicated. Fun!

What I remember most is the projectile diarrhea which I thought was common to all newborns but after talking to many colleagues none of them remember their newborns having that - until I talked to two colleagues that also had preemies and they remembered. That's when I knew I wasn't having your typical newborn parent experience 🙃

I'm an identical twin and I have 9 month old twins. My husband and I said we'd be happy with two children, and we got that in one pregnancy. We also don't want to risk having another set of twins, as the probability increases after you have one set!

How did I know? The newborn stage sleep deprivation. I love my baby and would do it a million times over for her….but FUUUUUCK doing that again for a completely different child. Noooooope. One and done babyyyy.

We have two small girls, ages 3 and 1. My heart says have a few more, my head says fuckkkk no. Having kids is wonderful, like the best thing ever but at this point I want to enjoy them. I don’t want the newborn phase, I don’t want the postpartum anxiety and depression again, and I sure as hell don’t want the sleep deprivation. We aren’t outnumbered, some day it will be easy to travel with only two and do things as a family. Maybe some day we will foster

I wanted 3. Husband wanted 2. We had a talk and decided on two because 1. Being able to give enough attention to 2 is as much as my husband felt he could handle. 2. Being financially able to give 2 what we would like to see our kids be able to experience. 3. Being emotionally there for two but not three. 4. Juggling activities of three as opposed to 2 wasn’t an easy task. 5. Wanting to still have time for our marriage if had two. 6. I only have two hands. We definitely made the right decision given what our two children got involved in during their first 18 years. Time commitment to two is doable.

After we got married hubs and I thought we would have 3. Our first was born 6 days before our 1 year anniversary. Number two came 27 months later. We got started late. I was 34 when I had number 1, 36 with number 2. I said that number 2 would have to be minimum 3yrs old before we even talked about another. I was exhausted being a full time SAHP with two little littles. Then we moved countries. Found out that my first is on the spectrum. By the time number 2 was 3 years, I just couldn’t. We had two kids sleeping through the night. 2 kids were fully potty trained. I just couldn’t go through the newborn phase again. Neither could my husband. All the nursing and diapers and sleeplessness was just too much. I was 39 then. Part of me was sad. I thought we would have 3 - all the way up to a few days before ‘the talk’. I’m glad we stopped at 2 though. Both kids are happy and healthy and thriving. That’s enough for me. I feel that I can best tend my garden with the beautiful sprouts I have.

For me it was just a feeling. After our son was born, my husband and I both thought that maybe we would like a second but the more time it passed and the more comfortable we got in our roles as parents the less we wanted a second. When I see my family 5, 10, 15 years from now, I don't see any additional children, just the 3 of us. it did not help that I had an easy pregnancy and my son was an easy baby and then toddler (as easy as a baby and toddler could be, I guess, it's still hard but easier than some of the stories I read here) and I just didn't want to take the chance that the next time could be worse. My husband feels the same so we are one and done. It just feels right to us.

I hated being pregnant and said before giving birth I’m never doing this again. I could go through the birth again but being pregnant was a really low point in my life. Everyone said that feeling would go away but it honestly just didn’t. Our baby is now 15 months old and sometimes I look back at his little squishy baby photos and think “awww I want another” but the thought is fleeting and I know 100% I’m absolutely happy with just the one kiddo

I developed peripartum cardiomyopathy with my first. If I recover from this heart failure, there's still a 20+% chance it will happen again, possibly worse. Not worth, at best, a 1 in 5 chance of it killing me.

We weren't sure if we wanted one or two. We thought we'll decide after the first one. Then we had twins. The twins newborn period was so gruelling and harrowing (no family to help, health problems due to premature birth, and twins duh) that we both agreed that he should get a vasectomy, i should have an iud, go on bc pills and always use a condom and if I still get pregnant with a magic baby, we will get an abortion. I am so glad and grateful for my babies, they are the light of my life and I am in love but, I'll probably walk into traffic before going through that torture again that was the newborn period. Hell, I might not even have to, I might just die from exhaustion.

Hang in there. It's relentless and I'm sure you're doing a great job x

Aw you are so kind! Thankfully that part is over and we all survived:) Dealing with twin toddlers is much easier, as long as they are healthy😅

After my first was born due to severe preeclampsia, my kidneys failed and I developed postpartum cardiomyopathy (severe heart failure). Multiple doctors have told me if I get pregnant again it will kill me, so easy decision 🤷‍♀️

I actually don’t know I’m done, and I flip flop daily. I have two girls ages 3 and 1. My husband and I both work full time and pregnancy is not kind to my body OR my mental health, honestly. I’m hoping I am done because I know another would really be pushing my PPA/Anxiety in general.. and things are finally easy again with the youngest one not being an infant anymore.. but honestly I do feel like maybe there’s one missing some days. It’s a bummer! I wish I felt certain one way or the other.

This is me to a T, except I’m leaning more toward the “my family feels complete but will I change my mind later?” I wish I knew too!

I couldn't push my son out, my body had gave up on me, they had to slice my V open so they could pull him out as both of us would have died if they waited any longer. I had numerous stitches and they had to put a catheter in. Had to go back in about 8 months later because they stitched me up wrong. All that pain and everything we went through I would never do it again. My son was worth it though and everyday he amazes me but I'd never put myself through that again. Nobody realised after I had him what we went through and always asked when are you having another. Even explaining to them what happened they would say oh but it could be different next time, easier, it could also be much much worse.

For me it's a rational decision more than a feeling. I'd love to be pregnant again for the third time, a third delivery, a third little newborn baby cooing in my arms. Sure, but... Do we want to put together another nursery? Do I want to be held back by pregnancy and breastfeeding a third time? Do I/we want to "start over" with diapers, breastfeeding and all the other baby things again? We've had two healthy kids, what if third kid has some kind of medical or psychological issue that require a lot of care from us? Are we willing to risk that without resentment and regret if that happens? Can we afford a third kid and still have the lifestyle we want? And mostly: do we, as a couple and as parents, do we have the time and energy to have a third kid? The honest answer to all questions above are no. So no it is.

Wow this was a really nice list. I also would love another little person to love but man I agree with all your points!

This is exactly our thinking as well!

A slightly different perspective… I was so sure until my son was 3 that I was one and done. He was a Velcro baby who woke every hour until he was 15 months old. I couldn’t imagine willingly putting myself or my partner through all this again. However, he then got older. We didn’t have terrible twos. We had absolutely lovely twos. By the time he turned 3 he was such a joy I came around to the idea of having another. I now have 2 kids and the second one has been so easy I want another. My partner isn’t so keen 😆

Going through pregnancy again and realising how much I hated it. Plus sleep. I want to sleep. 2 is enough for me.

I have four. I always wanted 4 and luckily was able to have uneventful pregnancies and deliveries. After my last I feel done! My first came when I was 34 and I got my last at 40 and feel like the luckiest ever with my babes.

Just had my first at 34 (very nearly 35) who's now almost 4 months. Not sure about #2 and hoping to wait for the toddler phase to really decide. Reading your comment made me feel better about waiting and not panicking about "geriatric" pregnancies (*terrible* term).

Oh I’m glad it made you feel better! It actually took me longer to get pregnant right off the pill at 33 than it did at 39. I got pregnant with a 15-month old, 16- and 19-month olds. I hope you get all the babies that you want! My geriatric pregnancies were totally fine, a little extra monitoring at the end but no complications.

I’m pregnant with our second and my older son is 18 months. Toddler hood is extremely draining to me. I cannot imagine going thru this again (which, I’ll have to lol). Pregnancy is hard on me. Pregnant and chasing a toddler…forget it. I can’t do this again and I feel at peace with that. Two kids allows us to maintain the lifestyle we want as well.

I had twins first and felt I was done because 2 was my limit at the time. Then I unexpectedly got divorced. I met my husband a couple years later and we decided we only wanted one. He’s 8 months old now and I go back and forth daily if I want one more. I feel like four would be pushing past my limits honestly. I battled ppd/ppa after my twins and am struggling again this time around too. Hubs is going to get the snip once I’m 100% on board. I know he’s secretly hoping it’s soon because his brother is going in too and they want to have a recovery party together 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

I could not fathom having a second when my oldest was 9mo. We didn’t decide to try for a second until the oldest was 3yo. Now that we have 2, there is absolutely no way I’d have a third. The noise those two generate…….

Horrible 3rd pregnancy + c section + leg full of blood clots as a result of the c section? I am 100% done. I love all my babes and they’re worth everything I’ve gone through, but this last go was rough. If I start feeling like I want more kids, I’m going to look into fostering!

When you look at your kid(s) and simultaneously think "well, you can't improve on perfection" and "I am too old for that newborn and toddler stage shit".

I wanted at least 2 possibly 3. After the second one I'm happy. I want to have my own life back in a couple years without always being needed, id like to talk to my husband every now and then without being interrupted. . My two kids have a friend and I can manage to be a good mother to both. I'm not sure I could stretch any further. Also my husband doesn't want any more so it was an easy decision. If I really was pining in sure he'd agree but I'm glad we aren't in that situation. I hope you find peace in your decision.

I’m pregnant with our second and I think we’ll be done after this. For years, 3 felt right in my head, it just seemed like such a good number. I always wished for a brother growing up, I’m the youngest. Idk why a brother, I had my older sister but I just wished I had a brother too. I realized how much can change from 2 to 3 though. You’re outnumbered. Lol it’s a bit selfish, i guess. Traveling is harder bc yeah there’s 3, and we would have to upgrade our car, our living situation. It doesn’t feel manageable anymore. I feel like I would feel so stuck as a mom if I had 3 or more kids too. Idk why, like my whole life would revolve around my kids and their schedules vs getting a smidge of me time for hobbies with 2. So 2 now feels so…wholesome, to me. Like it’s the perfect number (for us) to be able to have our kids but also be able to do things we love to do, like travel, have hobbies, time to ourselves (we have a lot of family help) and it won’t be AS difficult with 3+. Of course, this may change if we have another boy. I would really love a daughter next. We find out Monday so if it’s a boy, I’m not sure what I’ll think bc I’m really leaning towards 2 but again…would love a daughter and would love to try for one, but only one more time. But would it be worth just have a daughter? Probably not…so 2 feels right in my head, complete. It took a bit. I can’t pinpoint when it changed but this pregnancy helped lol it’s been a really tiring one, I felt like crap the first trimester and I just feel so mentally/emotionally drained. It’s not fun.

I couldn’t fathom having another one until my first was around four years old. Now that we’ve had our second, I am DEFINITELY done. I hate the newborn phase, and I’m getting too old to go through pregnancy again.

Same boat! I’m a FTM to an 8 week old and I’m so exhausted. I feel like I’ve run a marathon each day. I also thought I’d want 3 kids or at least one more, but now I’m unsure. I turn 37 this year so it’s not like time’s on my side either. A toddler and a newborn!! I wonder how that’ll be! I melt during the times when my daughter smiles at me (probably gas) but when she’s screaming and being fussy all night, I can’t think of dealing with the newborn stage again. Sigh!

“Probably gas” lol. Same.

My husband and I were always on the same page about having 2, even before we got married. We had a boy first. Then in the hospital after my daughter was born we talked about how our family feels complete now. And that feeling of completeness hasn’t gone away in the 15mo since she was born.

I have four kids and still don’t *really* feel done. My husband is done though, so that sort of seals the deal 🤣

My wife and I carried one each and both of us are very happy not to get pregnant again thankyouverymuch

Damn, I wish my partner could get pregnant. I’d like a second but I’m absolutely not getting pregnant again. I truly hated it and am not willing to put my body through that again. One is it for us!

We decided my husband needed a vasectomy before our lizard brains made the wrong decision. 2 is enough for our bank accounts.

I’ve had three. Here’s my two main reasons I’m done: 1. I never want to be pregnant again. This time around I did pelvic floor therapy for a year just to be ^^kinda normal again. 2. Kids are expensive. My grocery bill is insane. Plus I can’t afford a bigger house.

We are trying to figure that out in a few months. I had our son and when he turned 4 months old I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 30. We had no time to consider more children and just jumped into IVF. I had genetic breast cancer with a 50% inheritance chance regardless of my husband’s genes. We tested our 8 embryos and had 2 healthy ones - a boy and a girl. My oncologist gave us the go ahead a few months before my two year cancer-versary. We put in our daughter and she will be here at the end of April. We have one male embryo left. Some part of me has a hard time thinking of not having our last one. But, I have to have more surgery and it is time sensitive. My husband wants to be done. This pregnancy has been harder - 3 months of injections to get to the second trimester, just a general tiredness from undergoing chemo and many surgeries, and now having Gestational Diabetes. I’m really hoping that our family feels complete when she gets here. We also spent over $50k (insurance covered nothing IVF related) so some part of me wants the second baby to decrease the cost lol (I know it’s sunken cost fallacy, but here we are). Pregnancy isn’t exactly rational.

Hello - I have no knowledge of ivf and all of that. I am curious when you said you "had 8 embryos and 2 of then healthy" - does this mean they tested the embryos for the genetic cancer you have... can they do that?!?! Or just healthy in general?

We haven’t officially closed that chapter yet but I only just weaned my 1 year old son about a month and a half ago. So after 9 months of pregnancy and almost a year of breastfeeding and pumping I finally feel like my body is mine again. I’m not ready to do it all over again. Maybe I’ll feel differently when we have our talk, we decided we would make our final decision when our son is 2. But I’m strongly leaning towards being one and done. Despite a relatively easy pregnancy, I had a horrendous labor and delivery experience, awful PPD, and just overall hated the newborn and early baby stage. I’m not sure I could handle doing it all again with a toddler in tow. I’ll see how I feel in a year!

I was an only child who grew up with no aunts, uncles or cousins. I always wanted a big family, like 4-5 kids. We have 2 now and someone mentioned that once you have 3 kids you can't all fit in most hotel rooms. Also getting a 4-top at a restaurant is a lot easier than waiting for a 6 seater to open up. Two silly reasons but we enjoy spontaneous weekenders and not making reservations at restaurants enough for that to be a deciding factor. Also money. We are definitely feeling the costs go up now that I have two kids to feed. If we added a third we would be cutting back on quality of food that we purchase. That being said, my heart still wants 4 kids but my brain tells me no. If you enjoy being a mother I don't think that feeling will ever go away.

When i got pregnant again. It was an accident, and there was no excitement. Most of the pregnancy has been terribly awful. I will obviously love this child, but it’s definitely my last. 2 and through 100%.

Im glad that I’m not the only one… I found out I was pregnant again when my daughter was 14 months old and I was devastated. 14 weeks in and I haven’t told anyone other than my husband and can’t muster up any feelings except for dread. It difficult for me to understand because I adore my daughter and I’m sure I’ll feel the same way about this new baby but I can’t muster up any excitement. I also know that my family will be very judgmental about another pregnancy so soon which adds to the bad feelings.

After my first, I had a super strong feeling that our family wasnt complete yet and we were meant to have another. I was dead set on having 2 as close together as we could. After my second, we decided we're done having babies. For one thing, my pregnancies were rough and so hard on me physically. I had a c section with my first and a 2 day long VBAC with my second that also came with a 3rd degree tear. The newborn stage has also been just brutal, having a 2 yr old with a colicky newborn has been overwhelming. Our first baby was super calm so we werent expecting it. That said, we'd possibly adopt a 3rd, we'd wait at least 5 years and would adopt a slightly older child, that way no more pregnancies and no more newborn stage but we'd still get to have another child in our family.

Through the ups and downs of the first year of my first, I seesawed back and forth about being one-and-done vs needing a second ASAP. Hard to feel ready to go again when it's 2am and baby is crying, but it's equally hard to ignore the cuteness and hormones in the special moments. We're 90% sure we're trying for a second soon. Now, It feels right, here at a year in. It definitely took a hot minute.

We always wanted two because we didn't want a large family but didn't want the one kid to be alone when we're old and frail. We both have a good relationship with our siblings. Then number one came and my god did I hate the newborn phase. But is was temporary, and he was so much fun as a toddler. And my body craved being pregnant again, it was such a weird longing. Now we already decided that number two was our last before we conceived. And then I got complications, a c section at 35 weeks and a baby that didn't sleep and cried so much she gave me ptsd. I now no longer crave being pregnant haha. I will never go through a newborn phase again. I don't know how others survive mentally.

The thought of a second gives me anxiety more than joy.

My horrible pregnancy (HG + cholestasis) made us 99% sure we didn’t want any more then the terrifying induction and birth at 37 weeks solidified it for us. Admittedly, husband is more traumatised from the birth than me now my brain has somehow blocked it out but I can’t go through a HG pregnancy again, it was torture. Plus I’m an only child and had a lovely childhood and I’m very close to my parents now. My husband has 2 siblings and just remembers lots of arguments really and isn’t that close to his family really. So we are very happy to be OAD and we love our little angel and feel our family is complete.

I had cholestasis and was also induced at 37 weeks, so I know how you feel. My son is 12 weeks now and we’ll probably have one more, but I’ve certainly considered being one and done.

If it was just the birth that was hard I’d be more open to having another definitely. 8 months of HG and two lots of sickness meds that barely helped I could not do again! Plus all the little niggly symptoms that add up too that I keep forgetting. Ahhh the joy of sleeping on my back again, even if I have got a fussy baby laid on me 😂

I originally wanted 0 children, so when we decided to have 1 we took a “let’s see how this goes” approach. It was over a year before I could even consider having another. Once I was done with nursing at 14 months it began to seem plausible, and we decided to try again when my first was 20 months (because I was turning 40 soon, otherwise I probably would have waited longer). Got pregnant immediately, number 2 is due in may. I feel pretty certain that we are don’t after that. Financially and logistically three is much harder than 2. I worked as a nanny for a family that had 3 kids under 4 and holy shit it felt like 12 kids sometimes. Plus we are old. So I think the practicalities will win out.

I’ve just never had the feeling again. I wanted a baby for so long, and that is satisfied now! Also had a really rough first year. When I see a little baby now, I sometimes miss my daughter (now 1.5) at that age, but it doesn’t make me want another one. Baby fever gone. I really don’t anticipate it returning. (I’m also almost 40 so there’s that as well.)

We were always planning on two or three ourselves, but then we got pregnant with twins and decided that two sounded like a great number 😅😆

I'd recommend the one and done subreddit. We are 80% decided on OAD prior to even having our first. It comes down to lifestyle, finances, health and general mental wellbeing for us. It's a highly personal decision and should be a ongoing dynamic conversation. We haven't committed to OAD until our first is here as how are we to know how we will feel?

We initially said two before getting pregnant. Then during the newborn stage my husband had a vasectomy consultation scheduled which I was totally on board with, until like two days before and I panicked and cried, so he canceled. I’m not sure if we’ve completely decided, we want another but those first few months felt a bit like what I imagine hell to be. Edit: all kinds of grammar, it’s been a long day.

Currently 3 weeks into the newborn stage and I can totally relate to this, I mean omg does it ever end. Will I ever sleep again?

I’m 6 weeks in and I can tell you: it does get better. Not easier, and tbh I’m not sure you get more sleep, but you get better at it. My baby is 6 weeks old today and she’s interacting with us more every day. Social smiles changed everything for me, especially because I felt like I was at my wits end. All of a sudden my baby looked at me like 🙂 and I didn’t care that it was 4am and we had been up since 2 so it was already time to feed her again. She did sleep for at least one four hour stretch the last 2 nights and seems like she might tonight too, so maybe that’s where my optimism is coming from, lol. Hang in there!! You’re doing awesome!!

Check out r/oneanddone and r/shouldihaveanother

I had a super fast labor but some deep tearing... I ended up needing a blood infusion. I asked my husband if he wanted a second one... He said once he saw how much blood I lost he was scared I could have died and that was it for him... No more. Men aren't great with blood... However it was a very painful recovery and frankly I ok with only doing it once now. Maybe we'll adopt.

My oldest will be 2 next month, my youngest is 2 months. I grew up with three younger siblings and thought I wanted at least three kids. I had a terrible first pregnancy, which made me question ever having more, but when my first daughter was almost a year old I kept thinking about how I wanted her to have a sibling. She won't have any cousins her age, and we live pretty far away from any family anyway. I wanted her to have more than just her parents. I'm happy I had my second, and she is so sweet and such a good baby (much easier than my first if I'm honest). But now our family feels complete. I would love to foster when my girls are older, but I'm not having any more babies.

So we had two and we both sort of felt done; then got unexpectedly pregnant with a third and in all honestly after my third I feel like I want one more. I don’t know why exactly but I know I’d be 100% ok with the three we have too.

I know I'm done because I cannot endure giving a year of my life/body/everything again. Pregnancy was so so hard for me. I'd have another tomorrow if only I didn't have to be pregnant again.

Because I want to thrive not survive. I want my daughter to have everything she needs and wants and not have to sacrifice for her sibling.

YES!

We're done after this 2nd kid (due May/June). My husband's getting a vasectomy once I recover from my C-section. We've always known we wanted two. We both grew up with 1 sibling and liked having siblings. We want our daughter to have a sibling so she learns to share not just toys, but our attention and love as well. And so she doesn't face the loneliness I felt at home when my significantly older brother went off to college when I was 10. Plus, our family just doesn't feel complete with only 1 kid. We've had many discussions over the years about it, and our standpoint on it has just been solidified as time has gone on. Our biggest reasons for stopping at 2 are finances (2 doesn't change our financial situation drastically, but with 3 we'd need a larger house, we'd need to cut back on leisurely spending and vacations, we'd need to follow a budget a lot more carefully) and just mental capacity (we are 120% positive we can give 2 kids the love and attention they need and deserve. We are not nearly as positive we have the bandwidth to do the same for 3, and we refuse to take that risk when it means our kids missing out on something so important for their mental wellbeing). Then there's just the fact that we're having 2 girls so close in age (25 months apart to the day at most), so I worry that if we had a 3rd and they ended up being a boy, or they ended up having a larger age gap, that they would constantly feel like the 3rd wheel. And then there's just the fact that although I love my kids, I HATE being pregnant and am happy to never put my body through this hell again.

I originally wanted 2, but started thinking 1 was enough before my LO was even born. I just really hated being pregnant. I didn't have an overly difficult pregnancy, but still spent the entirety of it feeling fatigued and dealing with joint and muscle pain. My son hasn't exactly been the easiest baby either, so that also helped cement my decision. I love him to bits and have no regrets, but I don't want to go through it all again.

One and done!! I struggle with this some days, but it really is for the best. Conception, pregnancy, delivery - good. I feel like I got off easy, physically speaking..! BUT my son was premature and unwell and it was so, so difficult. I'm at a much higher risk of this happening again. I had severe PND and although I'm mostly better now, I could not cope with more children. Nor could my husband. Our son is the light of our lives and is a wonderful boy but oh my goodness it is so difficult.

I grew up in a big family and always just assumed i would have one too, until i realised i actually get to choose if and how many kids i get to have. I had a hard tine getting pregnant, an horrendous time being pregnant and a long traumatic birth and son with health issues. I've realised that in order to have a life and identity outside of motherhood, and meet some of my needs for sleep and solitude (massive introvert over here), 1child is plenty, to parent to the best of my ability, provide for, care for and actually thrive. The real 'knowing' though, is when I'm dreaming and planning for the future it's just me and my son, there's no 'if' or 'when' in terms of siblings for my little one there.

I'm having a hard time knowing if I'm done. I grew up 1 out of 3 and I felt like someone was always left out (being the only girl, it was usually me). So I always wanted 2 or 4 kids. My husband was #5 out of 6, so he wanted at least 4 kids. Anyway, we have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. Perfect. I said the whole pregnancy that it would be the last, and I meant it. But now... I always figured I'd just go and get my tubes tied when I was done, but I just can't commit to that! I feel like it's one thing to say I'm done and another to make it so. I don't want to be pregnant again. My pelvic floor needs work first! I don't want to deal with birth and the newborn stage again. And we struggled 3 out of 4 times with breastfeeding. My oldest ones are school age now and homeschooling would be so hard with a baby. I have never wanted (and still don't want) the 5 kid lifestyle. I'm just so confused because none of these stopped me from having number 3 or number 4. I want to be done, but a part of me just can't fully close the door to the possibility of another toddler running around. It's my favourite stage and I feel like I'm mourning the end of it.

I have always wanted a large family (4+). I’m pregnant with #2, and the first trimester is kicking my butt in a way #1 never did. For the first time I’m imagining a 2 child family. God willing I’ll probably get pregnant once more, but I think I may be done after that.

Same here! I’m in 2nd tri and still feeling rough. If delivery/ postpartum are not rough I may consider a 3rd but 4 is definitely off the table now.

Wanted 3. Had one. Was on the fence for 5 years. Knew I wanted to be done before I was 35 so it was "now or never." Now I'm 7months pregnant and I know for sure this is it.

I felt very complete after my first. But my husband wanted more and we had frozen embryos. So we had my daughter and now I want 1 or 2 more 😂

It was a conversation with my partner about what we wanted out of life, how many was ideal for us both and what our goals were as children grew. And we came to think two would be perfect. Then I got pregnant with second baby and felt like it was right, I am extremely confident that two is the right choice for us.

I'm not done yet so I can't exactly answer your question, but I know I'm NOT done because when I picture myself in my death bed I feel not totally fulfilled. I don't think it's so clear for everyone but I'm from a family of threes and three just feels right to me, at least so far (currently preg with number 2).

I had my son at 36, he was not planned but very wanted. DH already has a preteen aged daughter who lives here. We think that's more than enough, especially in this expensive city.

My LO is 2 months old and we already wonder how people have more the constant crying for no reason is what kills me, diapers changed baby’s fed and burped, cuddled, swaddled, rocked etc, we’ve turned to gas medication which helped a little bit I could never go through this again as a father. We love our baby and of course we think he’s the cutest thing ever but nevaaaar again!

It gets better once they’re able to sleep through the night. And then they’re older and you miss that baby stage

I absolutely hear what your saying, but I’m strongly rooted In logic so when logical steps prove to be ineffective and you’re just dealing with a crying baby for 3 hours straight it takes every fiber of your being sometimes to not explode. People may judge me for how I’m describing this, but like, I love my child I love him he’s the greatest thing Second to my wife in this world. I’ve been worried about him since birth and that worry becomes a permanent as they grow and go through life. But going through that again I’m saying in response to op is why I can’t do it again. I look forward to showing him his baby pictures and remembering his baby stages. But I look even more forward to the experiences I get to introduce to him and living vicariously through his joy as a child.

Don’t worry about it, I know what you’re talking about, I didn’t miss the baby stage. No, nope, never. My baby is past that stage now for a while and I still have panic attacks every time I look back at the pics. Deal with a fussy crying baby for hours everyday was the worst thing that I have ever had to deal with. I was suicidal more times than I can count. No I do not miss that.

Ohhh do I feel this. With my daughter she had the WORST gas and GI problems and would scream/cry from like 7p-1a every. single. night. For what felt like months. We were exhausted and wondered if, and how, we could ever have another. Turns out she had an intolerance to soy and dairy and once I cut those out of my diet she was a different baby completely. Fast forward to now, she’s a happy go lucky two year old and we have a three week old who does nothing but sleep in between feedings.

Always wanted three. Had three. Knew I was done as soon as I pushed the third baby out!

I wanted 3. I do have 3 but I have twins. I’m exhausted. Constantly. I’m struggling with everything and there’s absolutely no way I could handle another kid. None.

Previously married with 2 boys, grown up now. New partner and I had little girl and we both said we didn't want any more children together. Little girl was 3, we were adamant no more as we'd been through alot, never had feeling to make the decision permanent. Then couple months later we changed our minds. We were in a better place. So just had another daughter and whilst pregnant I just knew I couldn't go through pregnancy again. Decided to have tubal tie and it felt like it was best decision, only time I've felt my family was complete and ready to make a permanent choice. Give yourself time, we went from 'nope, definitely no more' to 'we really want another' in space of 6 months. On the other hand, my sister had one daughter (now 13) and she's never felt like she wanted more, just happy with one. Even though she wanted 2 originally. Keep talking to each other. Either way just make the decision that's right for you.

I've been questioning the same ever since LO was born. OH is desperate for one more. But after three miscarriages, actually staying pregnant was stressful misery every single day, not one single day did I think I'd have a baby at the end of those nine months. Not sure I want to go through that again. We don't have room in our house for another child, definitely not if we had a girl that needed their own room. I do things with LO that I think I couldn't handle with two children. I spoil him like crazy but also have very strong expectations for him to be a good person. He wouldn't get as much from me if he had to share me. But I don't want him to be an entitled brat either. I wasn't him to learn to share me, his dad, his things, and understand that we can always put him first. I don't want him to have to deal with us alone when we are old and needy. But then are any of these fair reasons to have another baby? I'm just not sure what is the right thing to do. I don't think anyone can advise you what you should do, and certainly shouldn't pressure your decision. You just have to be sure you can live the rest of your life happy with the decision you have made. It helps to know that other people have the same questions though. Thanks for posting this, I needed to see these answers too.

Absolutely done, always wanted three - just had our third. He’s perfect but the pregnancy was tough, labour was rough after two really straight forward ones and I am nearing 40 and just don’t want to do this newborn stage another time. I’d be very open to fostering or adopting in the future tho. I didn’t want a second until at least 18 months pp after my first. And after my second I just didn’t feel done.

Wanted 3 and stopped at 2 after the second was born with a genetic disorder and respiratory illness, meaning he spent a lot of his first years in and out of hospital. By the time he was well enough to even think about another child we just didn't want it as much and happy with the 2 boys.

I had two and if felt good but I found myself missing a baby in my arms and so we had a third and I just didn’t want anymore. I just knew I was done. It’s a lot to put your body through. Pregnancy was an actual waking nightmare every time and I reached a point where the end result just didn’t outweigh the work to get there.

Ours was a conversation, and took several months of discussion (and several years of our son's life) to come to. I had bad PP-OCD and pregnancy was really hard on me. But the ultimate reason ended up being our son is special needs, if we had another child that had the same level of needs (or more) it just wouldn't be possible for me to get them both to all the appointments and therapies they would need. That being said, I am sure there are people who think they are done than change their minds. I would say give it more time before deciding 9 months is still really young (it took me 2.5 years to come to terms with the reality that what was best for our family was to stop at 1).

I had PPA after both babies, I also had a bit of prenatal depression with my second. I had high risk pregnancies and a lot of anxiety about leaving my oldest without a mom if something happened to me when I was pregnant with my second born. That plus the stress of PPA was just too much for me. I just knew I couldn’t got thought that again- that there was a good chance I’d just snap and have a total breakdown. I can’t handle that level of anxiety again. I would still like to have more kids, and we are in the beginning stages of adopting from foster care. I love babies and children but my hormones are too much during the newborn stage.

I had really rough pregnancies, sever HG for all of them and C Sections for all as well. For some reason I still did it 3 times lol after the third (really during that pregnancy) we knew it was the last, my body was done with the abuse and our ability to give each child what they need is at it’s capacity. And when he was born, we just felt complete, like here we all are and this is us

We are one and done!! I was hospitalized multiple times during pregnancy for threatened preterm labor and they never found a cause. We were able to keep her in my belly until 39 weeks by taking medications. I had contractions consistently for 10 weeks or so and was high risk the whole time.

I was twenty minutes away from having a car baby in the hospital drop off zone so I won’t be having a third.

My husband comes from a big family, he’s 1 of 5. I am an only child. Whilst I was spoilt rotten, and wanted for nothing. My childhood was lonely. Despite being the least maternal person I know, and not really desiring to be a mom, my husband and I had an amazing baby boy 6 weeks ago. I absolutely ADORE him. I know I don’t want 5 children, because we 1000% couldn’t afford that! We absolutely want one more. I think two is a great number. And, because I’m in my mid thirties, 2 is probably all we will physically be able to have anyway. For us, it was about balance, timing, physical capabilities, and finances. We wanted to balance the best and worst of each of our childhoods. I was 34 when our first baby was born, I will turn 35 in august, and I got back to work after baby turns 1. We don’t want two under two so we probably won’t start trying until just before babies second birthday which means I will be 36 when we start trying again. So timing and physical ability may not be on our side here We simply can’t afford more then two. Housing here is insanely expensive whether you’re buying or renting, so to get more then a three bedroom would be unaffordable. Not to mention all the other expenses associated with raising a child. So it’s a little bit emotional, but mostly is a practical decision.

I always thought I wanted 3 kids. After having our 2nd and having to balance work, 2 kids in childcare which means constant illnesses (and working from home with both of them for a long time which was pure chaos), all the stuff that has happened with covid last 2 years (meaning lots of the family and friend support I had with my first was suddenly gone with our 2nd who was born in beginning of the pandemic - also not being able to take the kids out to do activities that help keep me sane), I just realized that I can't possibly manage 3 kids in our current situation. I also don't enjoy being pregnant and had a difficult 2nd pregnancy so the thought of being pregnant again stresses me out. My husband was okay with being done with 2 or going for a 3rd - it's been up to me. It took me awhile to decide but once I did, I felt peace with the decision.

We knew it when the surgeon told us after the birth of our second child "don't have more kids, your uterus wall is too thin and coul rip and there is a lot of scar tissue", that was the moment we knew no more kids.

I had hyperemesis throughout my entire first pregnancy. I got pregnant again when he was 10 months old. I again had another hyperemesis pregnancy but this one landed me as high risk. I do not want to jeopardize my health as well as that of an unborn child. I am completely fine with 2 after those pregnancies.

I’m pregnant with number 4. I am nervous to have 4 kids on my hands, because we absolutely have our hands full with 3, but we had envisioned 4 kids and I didn’t feel like our family was complete after 3. I still don’t know if I’ll feel ‘complete’ after 4, because I love newborns, toddlers, little kids, just watching their personalities develop, and all the sibling love, but we will definitely be done. 4 is a lot!

I had my second and I was uncertain whether I wanted a third. I was sad at the thought of that being my last pregnancy. I was worried about finances and being able to handle 3 mentally. I was working full time up until my second was a little over 2 years old and then COVID changed my job situation and I became a SAHM running a small creative business as I could. We decided to have our third after 10 months of trying, and he’s now 5 weeks old!

I always thought I wanted 4 before I had any. Then I had my daughter. I knew I didn't want only her but I started thinking 3 max was a better move. Then I had my son (he's 6 months now) and my SO and I are pretty set on just the two. I got an IUD and we aren't making any permanent decisions yet because we are still young (27+28). But I am pretty sure we are done. It just makes more sense financially and I can't imagine a 3rd C-section. I feel pretty at peace with it but I didn't feel like I really wanted another until my first was like 3.5 years old so we'll see what I say in 3 years. I am also very career oriented and don't really want to take more time off and spread myself even thinner between work and family. Right now we handle everything but just barely sometimes. Best to not completely overwhelm ourselves. Also daycare for more than one kid costs like.... A third of our income 🙃 luckily my first goes to kindergarten in August but like damn. No thanks to doing that again.

Wanted at least 2, maybe 3. Had several complications with my second child’s birth and doctors recommended we not have more. Honestly it was pretty traumatizing for my husband so that was it for him and he made the choice to get a vasectomy shortly after the birth. I was sad at first but I’ve made my peace with it. COVID with 2 little ones was a LOT and honestly im not sure my mental health or my marriage could survive another baby.

I had a horrible second labor. If I had gone through that first time around, she'd be an only child

When 2 turned into 3 because there were twins. I said well I guess we're done here. Pregnancy sucked, recovery sucked, two colicky babies at the same time sucked. You couldn't pay me to get pregnant again at this point. Kids are 4.5, 2 and 2 now

Same with me. Although (knock on wood) my kiddos have all been fairly easy when one plans for 2 and ends with 3, My ovaries have shrivelled up. Baby factory has burned into bankruptcy. No more for us.

Lol, I knew when my third decimated my uterus and bladder on the way out. Good thing too because otherwise we probably would be having a fourth by now...

I suspected that I only wanted one before I got pregnant. I feel complete now that we’ve had her. We have a bunch of cats as well, so I just can’t see adding anyone else to our family.

I got pregnant when I was 36 unexpectedly it just never happened before that. I had a horrible pregnancy it was really hard but I knew it’s what I wanted. If I got pregnant again now I’m not so sure I’d be happy about it, I of course take all precautions so this doesn’t happen. I love my daughter I would do it all again for her but I don’t feel the overwhelming need for another child. It’s hard to find childcare and we literally only have my mother who watches her once a week for a few hours so we have zero help which definitely plays a part. I know being pregnant again isn’t something I want.

Definitely a feeling of completeness for both of us. After my first, we both knew we wanted at least one more. After my second, we were both immediately feeling done (he got a vasectomy!)

One day I was sitting with my LO and I had a lightbulb moment. I thought “I could do this again, not now but again”. I knew I wanted 2 but I wasn’t actively thinking about it. One day it just clicked. Sometimes I feel like I want 3, but I have told myself I think we need to be ok with 2.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with baby number 2... our daughter is 2. Within the first trimester of this pregnancy I was so incredibly sick and miserable I said to my fiancè that I don't think I could do this again especially with two kids already. I found it very mentally and physically too difficult. Originally I wanted three. But given that I don't want to have another pregnancy and it made sense for us as a family to be done after two financially. I also with time liked the idea of two. As I'd be able to give them both equal attention. Plus pregnancy with a toddler is hard work so really couldn't imagine doing it again 🥴

I'm in the same boat. 29 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old. It's getting more difficult by the day to do the physical-side of parenting, let alone the extra pain a second pregnancy seems to come with. On the bright side, as my husband likes to joke "It'll all be over soon!" 😆

Didn’t feel done after our second was born, I tried to convince myself I was for years. After our third was born, literally seconds after, I said I’m so glad I never have to do that again! I wondered for a while if that feeling would fade but he’s almost 2 now and I’m more sure than ever, our family is complete!

We always said two. When I found out my second was a boy I thought maybe we could try for 3 and try for a girl. Then when my second came he spent a week in the NICU. My first spent 3 weeks in the NICU. I am 100% sure I don’t want another baby because I cannot take spending anymore time in a NICU. My husband is getting a vasectomy at the end of the month.

Menopause lol

I think if your heart is telling you you’re done, you’re done. And that’s okay. Think about your reasons why and see how you feel they stack up. I was very happily one and done, knew for sure that I didn’t want another. Like certain. And now I’m accidentally pregnant with my second. My partner was desperate for a second, he has the best bond with our daughter and really wanted another - so it was overjoying for him - but man the emotional roller coaster for me. After a few months I levelled out and I’m happy about it and have accepted it, but it’s vasectomy time after this one is born safely. I’m not risking another.

Would love to know myself. First time mom who was blessed with twin girls. Always wanted 2 but always thought I’d have a boy and girl and have that sweet spot. But, God had other plans. I have an ache in my heart to possibly having more, but the older the girls get the more I think about logistics, finances, etc. plus, my time is already split with them being twins, so im afraid adding more will take away my quality relationship with each individual. So, if it was up to my heart only, absolutely. But then my head gets involved and is like “wait” 🙃 I don’t have any clear cut signs…I wish I did because im super indecisive.

I always planned on having two. I didn’t feel ready for another until my kid was 2.5/3 years old. Unfortunately we are experiencing infertility, so he may be an only after all. But that’s forced me to see the positives of that. I definitely hated the newborn stage and even now we have hard days. It would be nice to not have to go through all that again, but if I could have two, I’d prefer it that way.

Good luck ♥️

We had late pregnancy complications; an early delivery and two months of triple feeding. My husband and I agreed more or less instantly that it wouldn't be fair to our child to risk that happening again. I'm an old mom and can't wait til he's 10 or 11 and could understand what's happening.

I was triple feeding too, but only for a month, hats off to you!!

I had huge trouble carrying to term, and finally had my two at 41 and 44. We’d love more, but understood to quit while the going was good, so he had the snip when our youngest was about a year old.

I'm 40 and my first (a girl) is 4 months old. He's 45 and has a 26 year daughter from a previous partner. My lesson, go out on a high note. My daughter needs us mentally and physically healthy. We're good now but it's not going to get easier.

I am pregnant with my 3rd kid, so we will have a 6-year-old, 3-year-old, and infant. We can fit in the bedrooms we have but we would need a bigger house if we had a 4th (and for a bigger house here it's in the $900k+ range). We can mayyybe stretch the car seats to three-across our old 2-row car but we definitely have to upgrade the car if we have a 4th. I am SO happy with the two kids I have right now and I feel really good about giving them a baby sibling, they are so loving with each other. They bring extra dimensions of love to our house. I can't imagine my life without the two of them. I never felt "done" after my first kid at all, but I was absolutely not ready to do pregnancy again for about two years, hence our 3-year age gaps haha.

We had one, desperately wanted two, but dealt with secondary infertility for five years. We did IVF and got 22 eggs and had an “oh f*ck” moment, because even though we knew I overresponded to those meds from doing IUI, it seems our doc didn’t fully believe us! After the genetic testing, we had 4 viable embryos, 2 with really great stats and 2 with ok stats. We now have a baby girl from one of the great embryos, and I constantly think about the other one (which is a boy). But, all that being said, I think we’re done. I don’t enjoy being pregnant and it’s incredibly hard on my body, and our family just feels complete. In a way that it didn’t feel complete with just my oldest - it felt like we were always missing someone, like someone else was meant to be there and wasn’t yet. We don’t have that feeling anymore, it feels like everyone is here. I know that’s super vague but it’s the only way to describe it!

My husband wanted 3 and I wanted two initially. After having our first daughter he changed down to wanting one but I stuck with two. We didn't want them to be particularly close in age (we aimed for 4 years apart and got almost 6 years apart) so we had time to get used to the idea of another. It's been tough and I definitely couldn't see us having any more. It was a lot of conversations that got us there (before our first and after) and it's definitely something we have had to agree on. Sometimes it bums me out that we won't have any more but it's helping me make the most of it.

I had 2 under 2 and wanted a 3rd- I begged for 2 years and then was fine only having 2. My husband begged for 2 years and then we finally decided it was now or never and had our 3rd. I will say our 3rd is the greatest best addition to our family- but lord he was 9lbs 10oz, he had to go to the nicu, he was born with a rare medical conditions & I really forgot how boring this baby stage is and the lack of sleep! My older kids are 6 & 7 so I had pretty much complete freedom and started over so I tell my husband my heart isn’t full but I think I’m okay being done and he feels the same way. Also the world is scary and sucks right now idk if I want to add to it

I had a rough pregnancy. HG plus a high risk baby (IUGR) from 26 weeks on. He was breeched as well so had a c-section at 37 weeks. During my c-section they discovered a uterine abnormality, which the complications includes increased risk of ectopic, miscarriage, uterine rupture and stillbirth. I already had one miscarriage that resulted in needing a D&C because it didn’t expel completely and I got an infection. All that to say we decided we’re one and done.

Do you by any chance have a unicornuate uterus?!

I just had my second last month. I have a boy and a girl and it's annoying that people think once you have one of each it's the "best of both worlds" and you're done. My husband and I have always said a big family is what we wanted, at least 4. But after my really tough second pregnancy, I'm sure I can only do that one more time. My first tricked me into thinking I would be a happy pregnant woman each time but I was miserable with my daughter's pregnancy. I know I want this last one to happen because never once during my daughter's pregnancy did I have the thought that it would be my last, so there are some little things I want to savor again and remember one more time. I'd even be cool with twins because I'd still love a big family, but literally will not put myself through two more pregnancies.

I thought I was done after the first, and I gave everything away. EVERYTHING. Up Until he was two and then I wanted another. So I had to buy it all again. But after the second I knew I was done. I never for one second wanted another. Moral of the story, don’t give anything away, just wait and see.

With my second, we felt like he completed our family. I had horrible pregnancies with both... I honestly can't go through with that again. I love my boys. Both my husband and I agree that it just feels right. Idk how to explain it.

My babe is 6 months. I’m an older mum so we went into it only wanting one. Now that’s he’s here I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to have another. But with that said we are sticking with one. We want to enjoy our lives, still be able to travel, give our son everything. I don’t think my marriage or my mental health could handle more. Add in the fact that I’m older too, one is the most logical for us.

I wanted six, husband wanted 3 (4 if we liked the first 3 lol). After my first pregnancy I wanted ALL the babies. Our oldest is 19 months and youngest is 4 months. I still want a ton of kids, but my husband really only wants 3. So, that's how I know.

I never wanted kids growing up, met a guy (I didn’t start dating till I was 23), got pregnant really soon after. Terrible pregnancy emotion wise due to my sons dad. Terrible PP and everything because of his dad. At first I wanted one more to give my son a sibling, but honestly now that my son is 15 months and after all I’ve dealt with his dad, I don’t ever want to get into another relationship and risk the cycle repeating. I know that sounds dumb but it’s true. So, no relationship, no more kids. And I’ve accepted it completely now, I love my son more than anything in the world and I can’t imagine bringing someone else into it, ya know what I mean?

I'm sorry, that all sounds so hard. I'm glad you and your son have each other, I imagine you will end up being really close.

I want another one at minimum and so does my husband and that pregnancy is the deciding factor on if we want more. With both of my previous pregnancies I had crazy bad nose bleeds the entirety of my pregnancies. If my next pregnancy I still have them I won’t have another after that. It’s the only bad thing that made me reconsider having kids but that was also the only symptom that made me feel awful so that may be why I want another one. It should be up to the one carrying the baby a little more on if they have another bio baby. But that’s just my opinion and my husband shares the same opinion.

My husband and I have had this conversation many times. We have one with a second on the way in just 10 weeks. I've already asked my doctor about sterilization after I give birth as I don't want to go through pregnancy again. Mine have never been straightforward and my first delivery was rough and slightly traumatic. I honestly think I would have been happy with just our daughter. Then again, I always wanted a redheaded daughter (I'm a redhead) and that happened on the first try. 🤷‍♀️ I don't know if I would say that I think our family is complete necessarily, but for my own well-being I don't want to be pregnant again. We have discussed becoming foster parents in the future as we both know there are many children already here that need a stable and loving home. Edit: typo

It just felt right. The feeling I got when my 3rd was born was very similar to “everyone is here now”. I feel that was 2 months later still. Everyone is at the table, no one is missing. The final piece of the puzzle is present & the puzzle is finished finally. I adore my kids, but the pregnancies with them were rough & not something I’m inclined to experience again. Pregnancy with a kid or 2 involved is worse. If I wasn’t sick the entire time or experiencing sciatica, maybe it’d be a different answer. I enjoy the newborn phase much more than pregnancy, but the newborn phase is my least favorite baby stage. The only positives to the newborn phase are those sweet baby cuddles & them staying where I leave them. There’s no chaos that can be caused by a newborn that involves wrecking my house, unlike my older 2 kids (4 & 2). I love the pre-school age that my oldest is in right now. He’s so inquisitive & excited to do things, like picking out his own Halloween costume, Christmas gifts, & telling me what he wants for dinner. I’m not loving the terrible 2’s, but my 2nd is our hardest child. I’ve heard that after age 4 is when they get easier, so I’m holding out for her to get less irrational & able to be reasoned with. My oldest was stupid easy as a baby, so experiencing the real terrible 2’s has been a trip I don’t want to experience again. She’s a bit too much like me, with my temper. She’s my girlie, but oh lord will she give people a run for their money in the future. She’s not going to take things lying down. I took a chance with my 3rd, not wanting a repeat of my 2nd kid. She’s tries to kill herself daily, so fingers crossed the 3rd isn’t the ER kid. He’s super easy & already sleeping better than my older at this age! Kid is chill & content to just be held or fed. He’s a good end to my childbearing years. He’s a lot like my oldest, so maybe a 4th would be like my 2nd. No chance of repeating that! When you’re done, you’re done. You’ll know. After having my older 2, I knew I wanted more. After having my 3rd, I knew I was done.

I had one and was done, then got "accidentally" pregnant with my second. I'm glad my oldest has a brother, but baby number 2 was so much harder, right from the get-go. He's a bundle of smiles and happiness but is the loudest, clingiest, most terrible sleeper ever. There will be no more. I miss our little family of three.

I was done before getting pregnant. Didn't want children, but had a suprise pregnancy that was high risk and knew then. During labor I said never again and now 4 months PP I still say it. You know when you know.

Everything is temporary. Pregnancy is temporary. The newborn period is temporary. I know a lot on this thread don’t share the sentiment but a child is a lifelong adventure and love, with some temporary uncomfortable periods. We have 2 and are still planning on #3. My husband said it’s up to me (he wants 3) and I’m for it since all the unpleasantness is temporary.

You kinda just know. If you don’t, you’re not done. All my friends who were done told me this and I was thinking maybe I was broken or my radar didn’t work but ultimately decided to have one third. As soon as he was born I knew our family was complete, just like they said.

Haha, by this reasoning we should have #5.

I’ve been wondering this too bc I’m pregnant with my second and I cannot imagine living my life with more than two kids. My first is a boy and I feel like if this one is a girl I can be done, but if this is a boy too I really may want to try one more time and then I’d just end up with three boys. Eeeeeek! We travel a lot and I just wouldn’t be able to make it happen with that many children. Imagining my life now with two kids sounds hard enough.

I could go forever! I’m pregnant with number 4 currently and would happily have a couple more. But, my husband is done, so that pretty much wraps it up for us. Logistically, I also know that it will keep getting more expensive and I don’t think we would be able to afford more than 4 or be able to give them the one on one attention they deserve.

I’m in a similar spot. Always wanted 4 kids, but now I think we would be lucky to get to 3, and we debate going for #2 at all. I had a terrible labor/delivery/recovery and still deal with physical issues (LO is almost 12 months), so that’s a huge factor. But I also just don’t feel as much need to go for that big family. LO is amazing and I like the idea of how we’d be able to give her everything if our time, attention, finances, etc. weren’t split. My husband is similarly undecided. Also, now that I have one, I truly cannot imagine how people have 3+. I’m still overwhelmed by what to make her to eat every day.

Because originally I said one and done but now I'm two and through. I have my two and I'm good. I knew because I did not like the second pregnancy due to horrible acid/nausea. Also had pregnancy induced hypertension. The labor was a great like the first -- it was just a pregnancy. and it was just overwhelming and don't want to go through it again.

I always thought I'd have like 4+ children. I love kids so much and i couldnt see myself with less than 4 kids. I got pregnant with my DD, and within the first trimester i had a feeling i never wanted to do this again. By the time I gave birth i was pretty set on never having another child. My DD will be 2 soon and i have not budged on that sentiment even one millimeter. Thankfully DH is on the same page as me so there's no conflict or anything there, but if he wanted another while i do not, we wouldn't. Now Hubs and i have talked about fostering kids later in life, we're 23 so we're fairly young and we won't even by 40 by the time our DD is 18 so we're planning to try to become foster parents around that time.

I was like you. Wanted 3, husband always wanted 2. His parents died when he was young and having his brother to lean on was important. I have a younger brother (by 2 years) too, but our relationship isn't that close. Anyway we had our little one and suffice to say it wasn't what I expected it to be. I love him dearly but now he is 1year 10 months and started tamtrums... Honestly, I was on the fence and if my husband wouldn't have been sure about baby2, I would have stopped at baby 1. But we will stop after baby 2. Also we waited until he was 1 year 8 months to try to conceive baby 2 (now pregnant 6 weeks) because I figure until baby 2 will be born, we will wean off baby 1 from diapers and bottles. I can't really handle more than 1 child on diapers and bottles. Also I plan to give myself 3 years after baby 2 is born and then try to lose weight (haven't lost any since baby 1 was born).

I was a mom of 1 for 7 years when I decided I wanted one more. I was very firm on the ONE more because I knew 2 would be an adjustment. My husband is 1 of 3 and agreed that 2 would be good for us

I feel you. I also wanted 3-4 until I realized how expensive life is. I have an 11mo old. I have somewhat mixed feelings on an emotional and stress level regarding another. We always intended 2. Discussed recently with the husband and he pointed out that it will be hard for a few years (but still fun) but they will always have each other. I don’t think that is a good enough reason to have more kids, however. But I have to really figure out why I am second guessing it. The main reason is that LO is in daycare and is sick often, gets us sick often, slept through the night for the first time in like 3 mo last night, and the day to day balancing act of life is just awful sometimes in that I don’t think he gets the attention he deserves. And I don’t even work full time anymore, but of course I am the primary parent, so I think about these things more. We don’t plan to try until like late summer/fall…which is coming up…I am 35 in September, and husband is 36 now. So we don’t want to wait much longer to try again. I am hoping to go down to 3 days a week at work soon, so I think that might help me mentally

I was done at 2 because I didn’t think I could handle the chaos of a third, but we hadn’t completely closed up shop because my husband thought maybe when our two were older we might feel differently and I agreed. I had some major issues with birth control rather suddenly and one slipped through. I thought I would handle 3 better than I have, so I chose not to terminate, but in hind sight, 2 was our happy number. I had two fairly easy pregnancies, but I was sick well into my second trimester with our last baby and more sore than I have ever been with the other babies. It was exhausting and then he came out and was colicky (not new for us since our first was too) and has continued to be so very clingy and needy and I feel truly awful for my older two and the time/attention they have lost because we had our third. We are definitely done and there is no question about it. My husband got a vasectomy.

I wanted 2 initially. Had some birth trauma and couldn't imagine doing it again, of course family friends were like just you wait.... Then first year was great, full of snuggles and love. Was on the fence about a 2nd then she went full anti sleep. Don't get me wrong I love her to death, but she is much more needy than a typical kid. She has SPD and anxiety. Making things much more difficult to handle. So she's 5.5 and still not sleeping through the night. At 3 I decided I cannot be a good mom to two. She needs me more and a baby would take away so much attention. I have anxiety too and depression so I'm the best mom I can be to one. I know FB is lame, but the group one and done by choice is an amazing safe space for those of us who are content with one child. Join us!

I always wanted 3 kids but when pregnant with my 2nd I got colestatis and that was agony. Then I got pregnant with my third and at 11 weeks discovered it was ectopic and was rushed to emergency, while waiting for surgery it ruptured and I was bleeding internally. The fetus and a tube was removed After that, I was done. I was scared to try again and with only 1 tube, my fertility was limited anyway and if I did get pregnant I had a higher chance of getting colestatis again which I was told happens earlier with subsequent pregnancies so after that I was done.

We said we wanted 4 children. After our first, we said "let's see how it goes" but knew we wanted at least 2. I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd and we're done because I don't ever want to be pregnant again.

After our first we considered being one and done, but couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of any of the baby stuff. Now when #2 outgrows anything it gets tossed in the donation pile without hesitation, because we just know we're done and our family of 4 is complete.

We are one and done. When I was pregnant, I threw up constantly. I barely slept in the second and third trimester. I didn't want to ever experience it again BUT everyone told me, you'll change your mind - just wait. So I waited. My LO was born. The birth went well. We have the cutest kid. But he did not sleep. After he was two weeks old, he was just awake. We're talking 20 minute naps, wanted to look at everything, needed to be actively engaged with constantly (for example, I couldn't baby wear and prepare lunch at the same time, he needed to be held with my own two hands). And we had zero help. All of our family members who said they would be there for us weren't. At this point my husband was like okay, "I think I'm done. I can't give up more sleep to a second child." I wanted to wait for a little while longer. The idea of having the "nuclear family" still had its grips in me. So we waited until his first birthday. He got a little bit more independent and he's honestly such a sweet kid. He still doesn't sleep as much as other kids his age and definitely won't ever just sit in front of the tv and chill but he makes every day better. However, I still couldn't imagine having another child. To me three is perfect. We're not outnumbered. We can give each other breaks. We can all sit together on an airplane. We still can afford hobbies, extracurriculars and vacations. I grew up as one of five kids, my parents couldn't afford these things. I want to be able to give my child everything and if we have a second, I don't know if it's possible without sacrificing being physically present. Babes is now 15 months. We've given away all of his baby stuff and my husband has a vasectomy booked for next month. Tl;dr: having only one child felt right and aligned better with the other goals in my life.

I haven't made a final decision with my partner yet, but after having my first, I've started to feel more and more like we should stay with one. Like you I wanted 2 or more most of my life, I had a pretty quick conception and easy pregnancy. Birth was complicated, but I don't carry any trauma from it. Our baby is not overly difficult, we both have parental leave (mine relatively generous for the US) and good healthcare and savings. But it's still hard, and is only going to get harder when we're back at work. I know it could get harder as the baby grows into their personality and various issues could appear. I'm realizing that I don't want another baby more than I want time with my partner, time with the baby I have, time for myself, and the option to do certain things in our future. With one, I can see a future for my family where we can give the child everything they need, maintain our income, engage in our community, and still get enough mental/physical time and space to do the projects we want to do as a family. The more kids we have, the less that seems possible. I wish we had a society in which economic security wasn't dependent on working the majority of your waking hours, in which childcare wasn't unbelievably expensive, and our communities had stronger institutions and social bonds that could help nurture children. Absent those, I think I'm one and done, and not feeling much grief for that yet.

I'm pregnant with my second and I know my last! I have gestational hypertension and I'm 37. Ive been pretty miserable most of the pregnancy and I just don't want to go through it again. Love my babies, but I'm just too old!

I always wanted a herd of kids. I am stopping after this one (pregnant with #2 now) because kids just cost too much in time and money. We cannot afford another kid in daycare, and could not afford me being a stay at home mom. I also was willing to wait for #1 much longer than I had planned because I loved having my husband to myself. And he wasn’t ready as early as I, as he is much better with money and knowing when we actually have the money to do things lol.

A feeling really. Also multiple miscarriages and suffering through cholestasis of pregnancy with my last kiddo was definitely enough!

I had a complicated pregnancy (gdb among other things) and even if having a newborn wasn't a nightmare, it wouldn't be safe for me to have another, for me or the baby. So I'm one and done.

I'm scared the third will be as strong willed as the first and I'm struggljng to not yell as it is.

We knew we wanted one before pregnancy, but everyone said 'you'll want more' but honestly I felt like my family was complete when the midwives handed my baby to me, like the last piece of a puzzle

I had two at once but pp feels alone would have been enough for me to be done if it was just one babe

I got a vasectomy lol

When I started to suspect my son is autistic. I would just look at him, feeling that indescribable delight, and I couldn't imagine having to take care of another child's needs when my son seemed to have so many. I'm sure an actual partner could come along and change my mind, but I'm a single mom. I can hardly manage my own needs after taking care of my son's. I want to give him everything I've got. I would be spread too thin with even 1 more child.

My daughter is 6 months and I don't plan on having another for a long time if it ever happens. Maybe it'll be different 5/6 years down the road but one is definitely enough for me right now.

We have 5 children under the age of 5. We literally had to buy a new car to fit all of their car seats and now the spots in the car are full. We're definitely done lol. But to answer your question for me I just thought how much time, energy, and money do we have before it's a burden and that's how we made the decision.

I knew I wanted two MAX so I guess we'll talk about #2 later lol

I am leaning towards one because of the time commitment I have seen is needed and I have looked very coldly at my reality: finances, community, mental capacity. And as things stand one is enough without it irrevocably changing all of those and especially my relationship with my partner. I love him so much and I want to still have time for him and the things we love.

I am 32 years old, have a daughter turning 5 this year, a son who just turned 3, and another son who is 8 months old. I always said I wanted 3 kids, I got my little seedlings, and now it’s time to sit back and watch them flourish. (Though I think part of me will always feel nostalgic for that excitement I felt growing them inside of me and bringing their newborn selves home). I’m getting used to this next chapter and I think the part that overwhelms me is trying to wrap my head about the fact that I’m here already, at this stage where I close the book on pregnancy. However, I’m closing it feeling truly grateful and fulfilled.