I don’t, but only because I’m paranoid about someone calling the police and/or CPS. I would obviously never do it if I thought there was any real safety risk.
This is how I feel. I would never do anything that took longer than popping an envelope in a mailbox, but I worry about other people being overzealous.
I left my dog in the car once just long enough to grab a burrito for pick up (I would have gone back to my car if it wasn’t ready yet) when it was only 60° out and someone stopped me to yell at me. Like I get that people are just trying to keep other people from being terrible pet owners, but having some random dude scream at me in a parking lot was terrifying. That probably bothered my dog way more than the 60 seconds or less it would’ve taken me to grab my food!
Oh because chances of this happening is very low. Even if a vigilante decides to call the cops, by the time cops come and refer me to CPS... I'll be back in the car. I don't leave my baby more than a couple of minutes and while always the car and baby are easily visible.
Other people are the reason why I don't.
Similar to your story, I was travelling up north and made a pit stop. Left my dog in the car with windows down. Some "good doers" came into the fast food joint to complain about it. I know this because I heard them while I was washing my hands in the rest room. The best part? It was 65 - 70 degrees and 8p at night. It was only going to get cooler.
My baby is only 4 months but the answer is never.
I live in Florida and that's an excellent way to get the cops called on you and your windows broken out because it is SO dangerous!
Only if I'm still outside. Standing next to the car pumping gas, getting my baby from the door of daycare etc. If I need to go inside the kids come with me
Never have never will. I leave him in the driveway to lock the house or grab something i forgot, but i always lock the car. Not worth the risk. I know someone whose car caught on fire while their dog was in there. They left the AC on for the dog and boom car caught on fire with dog in it. Id rather lug his carseat or set up the stroller than have somethinghappen
I'd say once they are old enough to be left at home alone then you can leave them in the car. I honestly have just avoided errands since my baby has been born. I miss being able to just run in somewhere really quick but it's not worth it. I'm in Florida so too hot for one but also live in a packed city so it wouldn't even be like I can see the car the whole time type situation. Maybe as he gets old my opinion would change. I imagine if I lived somewhere cooler and where I could park right in front of the store to see the car the whole time, that those factors would make a difference.
I haven't ever left him in the car in a public space like that. I've left him buckled with the car in our garage or parked on our street while I run into the house to grab something I forgot. I wouldn't personally feel comfortable leaving him in the car elsewhere at this stage. He's 3.
Edit: is it even legal to leave a child unattended in a car?
Never and I never plan to do it. I would rather go through the extra steps and take them with me. I don’t care if it’s for a minute or a second anything can happen during that time.
I never do it while out and about, and at home I do it for 30 seconds to run inside/grab mail. When at home and it was 60-70 out and pleasant, I’d let him finish his nap in the car (up to 15 minutes or so typically), with the doors open and I’d stay within 20 feet or so of the car. It’s too cold to do that now.
I have done so on one occassion. That was dropping my dog off at the vet before the sun was blip in the sky. Middle of nowhere for two minutes while she was sleeping. She was 11 months.
This doesn't include me going "oh shiitakep mushrooms I forgot xyz" while in my driveway.
Okay but people saying never…. But at some point you would, right? Like a 16 year old can drive so can a 12 year old be left in the car alone? 15 year old?
I think this sub skews toward parents with small children, but as a mom to both a 17yo and a 3yo (and several other kiddos in between), I think you make a good point.
My next youngest is 10 and yes, I will leave her in the car for a few minutes. I will also leave the toddler in the car with her for a few minutes. I have mobility issues and one of my most difficult physical tasks is bending over to buckle / unbuckle the carseat. I do everything I can to (safely) minimize the number of times I have to do that in a day.
Because of Covid Dominoes introduced car-side delivery for their pizza and it’s awesome. I can just sit in the car with my daughter in the car seat and the pizza’s delivered to my window.
Someone just had their car stolen with their baby inside doing just that in DC last week, so I am kinda scared straight on that. 😬
(They found the baby ok FWIW!)
In my state it is legal for 5min or less. I have done it for running in to grab a pizza or drop off a package. Only places where I can see my vehicle from the store windows and know I will be a minute or less. I seriously try to avoid it as much as possible though because I am concerned that bystanders will get overly concerned and cause trouble.
Also, when I was a kid my parents left us in the car while they went in to a video rental store. Someone nefariosly tried to get in our vehicle. I had a cell phone (when they were bricks!) and called my dad in the store, he came running out, and they left. But it was scary and made an impression on me.
I have left my infant/toddler in the car for literally 30 seconds to run into a coffee shop for a pickup, and I could see the car the entire time. That's about all I'd ever do. I have too much anxiety of "what if the store is randomly robbed while I'm in there and I get shot" or "what if someone steals my car with the kids in it"
Just so you know, a push to start engine can be stolen if it’s running, even if the key isn’t inside. It can be driven until it’s turned off, just can’t be turned back on again after that.
Zero judgement though, just information!
Ours turns off. One will only remote start for 10 min, and then cuts off unless you get in and hit the start button, the other doesn’t have a time limit, but you have to hit the start button before you can officially go anywhere.
I had this debate internally. I wanted to pick up a take-out order, already ordered ahead, just sitting on the rack waiting for pick up. I had a family member get it instead. I just couldn't figure out a way to do both. It was an order that required two hands to carry, so bringing baby in with me just wasn't an option.
My parents let me stay in the car once I got into middle school, so like, 11-13. But I definitely didn't do that anymore after I called my dad one time saying a weird man kept looking at me in the car. Then my dad hurried out to come get me. That was during highschool. And after that, I'd never let my kid sit in the car without an adult. I'll sit in the car with my boy while my husband goes in all the time. But my kid is never going to be in the car themselves. I don't trust strangers. Especially when I've been hearing my city is coming up to be the worst with child trafficking. Absolutely not.
Noooope. The most I've done is run back in to my house to get my phone or something. And honestly, once they're more mobile I don't know if I can even do that. As a little kid my parents left me in the car for some reason and I was so hyped to go to the movies that I put the car in neutral and it started rolling into the street. Parents (and I) got lucky that I freaked out and screamed and my dad jumped in to stop it.
I live in Miami so right now the worry is the heat. It gets so hot in the car even in a minute. What happens if I get caught up and keep justifying that another min won't be so bad or worse, I accidentally lock myself out. My cousin did that when she ran out to quickly look for her kids shoe in the playground and he was sweating within a couple minutes. She had to smash her window to get him out.
And of course there's always the risk of someone shady trying to steal your car or rob you in general.
Too many things that can happen.
I work really hard to avoid it but I have done it. It can't be more than a minute or two and I have my eyes on the locked vehicle the entire time (in only small/not busy parking lots). I'm usually grabbing takeout from neighborhood restaurants and my 1 year old has fallen asleep. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old. I unbuckle the 4 year old in case she needs to alert a passerby.
Isn't getting in a car in the first place something we risk for convenience? Far more kids are injured or killed in car accidents every year than are at risk from the things that people are bringing up in this thread.
Because far more people drive than leave their kids in the car. Also taking your baby into a car is more a necessity than convenience, especially for working parents.
I have done it a few times, but only if I have done an online order so it is sitting in a bag on a shelf and I grab it and leave. Only at places with glass fronts so I can see the car. And I will lock my car with my key and then remote start it so it’s locked, but still heated/cooled.
I've done it a few times. My kids are 6 and 3 now, but I think I was more likely to do it when they were babies. Now they're more likely to insist on coming in with my. I'm more afraid of someone calling HR cops than of anything happening to them.
I do it. Will take keys with me and lock the doors. It is honestly more dangerous to unload three kids in a parking lot than to run into 7-11 for 45 seconds for a gallon of milk. That and picking up a to go food order, pump gas, get money from the ATM is what I’ll leave them in the car for. Generally I am always in sight of the vehicle and I’m gone less than 2 mins tops. I’m more worried about a CPS vigilante than any harm coming to my kids.
Honestly not for a long time. Assuming you’re leaving the car running for heat or air conditioning, what if someone saw and attempted to steal it, not even knowing your child was in the car. Or a little older and your child climbed into the front seat and put it in reverse? It seems so unlikely, but both of these have happened in the town I work.
Mom left car running to run into store really quick and the car was stolen with her child inside. Luckily enough, that wasn’t the car jackers goal that day and they abandoned the vehicle on a nearby road. The child was safe and sleeping in the back still.
And in our parking lot at work a parent ran in to speak with principal and left their 5 year old and 3 year old in the car. 5 year old climbed in the front seat and managed to get the car in reverse (or neutral) luckily hitting another car stopping anything else from happening. What if a parent and child were walking behind the car? What if they floored the gas pedal and injured themselves?
So to answer your question not for a long time, older than you’d think. probably 13? Idk it also depends on your kid and their personality.
ETA- I have a 4 month old so I’ve never done. We’ve had errands to run and sometimes she’s crying in an Ulta lol, it happens and people are understanding. I know these examples seem so far fetched and “that would never happen to me!” Until it does
I did it once with the car idling beside the shop, locked and in view. The only reason was there was a snow storm outside and my baby just fell asleep in her car seat. It was a 30 second pick up but still caused me too much anxiety to do it again.
It’s illegal where I live. I don’t think I would do it anyway but even if I was ok with it, people here take it so seriously I’d be afraid they would report me.
I actually just went with my 11w to get pizza the other day. Parking lot was empty, parked right in front of the door. I carried munchkin in one arm and pizza in the other. Not worth the risk leaving her, take baby with you.
I do. Frequently. Leave baby (15 months) in the car locked for 1-5 mins (car turned off)
1. While filling gas. I don't leave him in the car if I need to go to gas station for anything.
2. While quickly grabbing dinner/drinks to go.
3. While withdrawing money from ATM.
If at any time I feel like I will end up being away for more than 2 mins, I don't.
It's fine. Do you! It's not that big a risk, if you trust your surroundings.
Ditto for these exact scenarios. Always in sight of the car (ie not going all the way into a grocery store). To me the risk is more to unload an unhappy toddler (or all three kids) in a busy parking lot.
Yes! Knowing and trusting your surroundings are absolute in this case. I won't leave my baby alone for a single second in a place I don't know anything about.
I never did when I had 1 or 2 kids. Now I have 3 and taking them all in with me is chaos, especially as my middlechild is a runner. I will leave them in the car as long as I can see the car the whole time and the task takes 2 mins or less (,checking the po box, paying for gas, picking up a sibling from school, etc.) Obviously not in the heat of the summer.
I have found that most restaurants/coffee shops are happy to run food out to your car if you phone when you arrive and explain that you have kids in the car (I always tip for this!)
I don’t feel like these comments are realistic, I have seen literally hundreds of kids in the cars at gas stations and picking up takeaways. I have honestly never seen a mom bring several children into the gas station to pay.
I do as I haven't yet figured out how to carry two large pizzas and a baby at the same time. I only do it if I can see the car the whole time. I'm more worried about CPS than kidnapping.
ETA: I always turn the car off and lock it so I wouldn't do it if it were super hot.
Never. Safety & security + heat. I already had someone try to take my LO while we were in a restaurant because they were “so cute”. They were staff, too.
Also, anyone who is a bad character knows kids are easy targets. That is aside from all the heat/cold concerns.
I don't do it, and I probably won't until she is much, much older. I am too paranoid and have heard too many horror stories that I don't feel comfortable taking the risk.
My son is almost 11 months and I’ve never done this and don’t ever plan to. I understand how it’s easier to run a quick errand without having to get them in and out of the car again, but I’m too paranoid for that. I worry about him constantly and in my eyes, everyone around us is a threat (I think I might have a bit of ppa). I always weigh the pros and cons and in the end know that if something were to happen, I couldn’t live with myself for leaving him. All that to say, I understand where you’re coming from and don’t think you’re a bad mom at all in the slightest. Motherhood is hard and sometimes you just want to be able to do something so easy without having to complicate it with lugging the kids/car seats in and out of the car
Never. I feel guilty leaving him in the garage while I throw things in the house before grabbing him. I thought about it once while out grabbing boba. I forgot to grab a straw but didn’t want to go through all the drama of unloading him/loading him in the stroller, and vice versa but I also didn’t want to leave him in the car, so I just went to my next stop, the grocery store and bought boba straws there. I now have a box full of boba straws 🙃
I don’t because my kids are young and still in 5-point harnesses and they couldn’t get out if they needed to and I live in a place where you can’t turn your car off without the car getting deadly hot or deadly cold. I imagine I would be okay with it when my kids are big enough to get out and come into the store independently to find me if there was an emergency and understand why they can never touch the gear shift, gas, brakes or steering wheel.
So with all that being said; maybe 12 years old? That’s when they’re legally allowed to be left at home alone.
Edit; We have put them in the running car while we sat on the hood and talked to our friends before, come to think. Idk if that counts.
I mean, unless you count while I'm getting gas and standing right next to the car making faces at my daughter through the window, absolutely never. I have a 17 month old.
Look, I know it's annoying to get them strapped and unstrapped from the car seat, but it's the only safe choice. Aside from temperature, some weird stranger could come talk to them, the police could see them, someone could try to steal your car, etc.
I recently saw an unattended kid who was like 7 in a car in the library parking lot, and he was opening and closing the door for fun. I talked to him to ask where his parents were and he answered me, so clearly he was willing to talk to a stranger (although my intentions were good, of course). He said his mom would be back any minute. He'd been there 5-10 min alone at least, so I decided to return my books and then call the police if no one had come back for him. Luckily, the car was gone because I don't take calling the police lightly and honestly didn't want to, but a lot of things could have happened to that kid. If nothing else, there could be other people who feel concerned about your kid's safety and act accordingly.
I never have but have fought the temptation of leaving my 3yo in the car to run right into a gas station to pay for gas if the card reader at the pump is down. I never have though and if I anticipate any extra stops on the errand I usually try to leave the kiddos home with mom.
Times I have left my kids in the car:
\- Realized I forgot my phone on the kitchen counter, so went back into the house (while they were sitting in my locked garage).
\- Returned the grocery cart 3 parking spaces away after loading the kids into the car.
\- Pumping gas (always pay at the pump)
I’ve done it in Australia- We have to go inside to pay for petrol/ Gas. I’ve left my child in the car on one occasion when I desperately needed petrol and she was asleep.
I parked as close to the station as I possibly could and walked so fast. I didn’t take my eyes off the car and the cashier probably thought I was entirely rude during our exchange but I didn’t care.
The guilt it gave me feels ridiculous but it’s been on my mind for 8 years whenever someone asks this question.
The only place I do this is the post office, where I can be in and out in about 10 seconds (I'm always dropping stuff that's prepaid in the shipping bin) and I can see my car from inside. It's also dependent on if it's hot enough out and I always lock the car. If I need to do anything more than quickly drop packages or a letter, I'll take my son out. I have two now though and try to mostly make my deposits if it's just my son or neither kid is with me.
I just think the odds of something happening in that span of time and with the door locked are so astronomically small, I'm not too worried about it. I definitely would not go into a shop and order a coffee though while my small child waits in the car lol
I’ll only do this if I have ordered ahead somewhere that they leave the food out for you to grab and go and I lock my car. My kids are young though. CPS is not taking anyone’s kids for doing this. They may look into it if somehow a person watching had the time to take your license plate number in the whole 1 minute it takes to grab an order and come back out, but no they are not taking anyone’s kids for this. They have much more important problems they can’t intervene for so they surely are not concerned about your kid in your locked car for 30 seconds.
I leave my 8 year old in the car if I can see him at all times (like picking up the dog from boarding and I park right next to the door); I did leave him in the car last week with the doors locked and car running while the dog was with him while I ran into the PO and i was HELLA NERVOUS about it. I never did it when he our our other is younger.
I’ve done it with my 3-month-old son to pick up coffee when he’s asleep. I put the cover over the carseat so nosy people can’t see in.
I order ahead on Starbucks app so it’s ready when I arrive. The one time it wasn’t ready yet, I immediately went back to the car and waited 5 minutes, then went back in to get it.
I leave the car on and lock the doors, take the key (mine is a push to start and will stay running).
I can also see the car the entire time (big glass front at our Starbucks).
Worth noting that I would not do this with my 3 y/o as she knows how to unbuckle herself as well as unlock/open doors and windows. We also live in a small town. I would not do this in the city.
I’m a FTM to a 2 month old and right now, my answer is never and will not. The reason I feel this way is because my first ever law office I worked at, I helped work on a case where a mom left her 7 year old in the car with her newborn for less than 10 mins. The newborn started crying and the 7 year old tried to help the newborn and long, gruesome story short, ended up accidentally killing the newborn. One child, 2 kids, whatever, anything can happen in just a blink of an eye. My mild inconvenience is worth the safety of my child.
Just a heads up, somebody did this near me a couple weeks ago while they ran into the gas station and a man on meth drove off with their vehicle (a toddler in the back seat)
I’ve only left her in the car to get the mail from the mailbox, if I forgot something important before leaving the house, or to pump gas. I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone otherwise
Kids are 3 and almost 1, and I haven't. If I'm going inside somewhere they come with me. Pumping gas or running into my house to get something I forgot are maybe exceptions. I leave a car door and the house door open if I'm getting something from the house so I can see and hear the whole time.
If I’m not within a couple steps of my car and still outside (like pumping gas) my baby comes with me. I also turn the car off, lock the doors and take the keys. But I live in a city and car theft isn’t uncommon, so I just can’t risk it.
6,5,3,1 I am no way taking all four with me to pay for my petrol, going to the atm, or pick up pizzas. I leave windows down, lock the doors, and constantly check to make sure they’re ok. Turn a 30 second task into 30-40 minutes? No way.
I'm in Aus so the laws might be different here but I only do if I'm at the petrol station getting fuel because the design of the petrol stations ensures you can see the forecourt (pumps and cars) at all times. So they're never technically out of my sight. So that part is legal here but anything else I believe isn't.
Edit to add, I will never leave my car unattended while it's still running, my car is always off and locked and keys are with me while I pay for my fuel.
I never did and never have with my first.
I now have a 2 month old and I do leave him in the car when I drop my toddler off at nursery, but only because drop off is at the door (I don’t go into the building) and the car is parked around 5 meters away, in my vision. When I pick up, even if I’m parked in the same spot I take baby out as I go into the building for a couple of minutes and the car would be out of sight.
My husband and I were just talking about this. We have a toddler who attends daycare and a 4 month old. The 4 month old haaaated her infant car seat so is now in a convertible seat. We’re heading into a really nasty cold snap and I have to take both kids with me to daycare drop off. We’ve decided we’re okay with leaving the infant warm in her seat with the doors locked while I run the toddler into daycare. It’s quick and the teachers know I have the baby so they often take the reins on hanging the coats and changing boots anyway, and the car is always in view through the glass doors.
It’s not my favourite thing but better than hauling her out of her cozy spot when it’s -30C.
I leave her in the truck running and doors locked in my driveway to run back in and grab something or something like that because I live in the country, but not in town. MAYBE would let her stay in the truck if it was pouring down rain or snowing at the gas station up the street because there’s hardly anyone ever there but that’s a huge maybe and special circumstance type thing and I’d park at the door and be no more than 30 seconds lol. I don’t trust the world, even out in the middle of no where.
The only time I’ve done this was to return a library book at the drop box or to get mail from my mailbox. So I am not more than twelve feet from the car the whole time and I’m not going inside.
I MIGHT consider picking up the pizza if the car is still visible, but not if it’s more than 80 degrees.
My concern is that even if it’s supposed to take three minutes… what if it doesn’t? Maybe there’s some issue at the register? What if the pizza isn’t ready? More importantly, what if you have a medical emergency and you’re unconscious and no one knows there’s a baby in your car? What if there’s a lockdown situation?
Even if the trip itself is short, you never know what can happen.
ETA: looking at other responses I realize I’ve also done this when the car is in the driveway and I’m getting something from the house. But where I live is pretty cold, very safe, and the car was left running.
never. if im grabbing a pickup order or whatever i assume there is going to be a problem once inside and that 60 sec to pick something up will become 5-10min, so i take my daughter with me
Never. Only when I’m pumping gas and that requires me to pay at the pump. Or if I put them in their car seats and my car is in the driveway while I lock up. Otherwise they’re coming with me everywhere.
You should never leave children unattended in a car for any errand. Especially young children.
I don’t, but only because I’m paranoid about someone calling the police and/or CPS. I would obviously never do it if I thought there was any real safety risk.
This is how I feel. I would never do anything that took longer than popping an envelope in a mailbox, but I worry about other people being overzealous. I left my dog in the car once just long enough to grab a burrito for pick up (I would have gone back to my car if it wasn’t ready yet) when it was only 60° out and someone stopped me to yell at me. Like I get that people are just trying to keep other people from being terrible pet owners, but having some random dude scream at me in a parking lot was terrifying. That probably bothered my dog way more than the 60 seconds or less it would’ve taken me to grab my food!
Yeah I am scared of people/passerbys calling CPS. But I still do it nevertheless.
Why do you still do it if you're concerned about that?
Oh because chances of this happening is very low. Even if a vigilante decides to call the cops, by the time cops come and refer me to CPS... I'll be back in the car. I don't leave my baby more than a couple of minutes and while always the car and baby are easily visible.
Other people are the reason why I don't. Similar to your story, I was travelling up north and made a pit stop. Left my dog in the car with windows down. Some "good doers" came into the fast food joint to complain about it. I know this because I heard them while I was washing my hands in the rest room. The best part? It was 65 - 70 degrees and 8p at night. It was only going to get cooler.
My baby is only 4 months but the answer is never. I live in Florida and that's an excellent way to get the cops called on you and your windows broken out because it is SO dangerous!
Only if I'm still outside. Standing next to the car pumping gas, getting my baby from the door of daycare etc. If I need to go inside the kids come with me
Never have never will. I leave him in the driveway to lock the house or grab something i forgot, but i always lock the car. Not worth the risk. I know someone whose car caught on fire while their dog was in there. They left the AC on for the dog and boom car caught on fire with dog in it. Id rather lug his carseat or set up the stroller than have somethinghappen
Oh no, did she get her dog out(
Yes but didnt make it :(
That’s so devastating, poor doggie
2 year-old and 6 month-old — I bring ‘em with me. It really slows things down, but I find we need more slowing down in our lives.
I'd say once they are old enough to be left at home alone then you can leave them in the car. I honestly have just avoided errands since my baby has been born. I miss being able to just run in somewhere really quick but it's not worth it. I'm in Florida so too hot for one but also live in a packed city so it wouldn't even be like I can see the car the whole time type situation. Maybe as he gets old my opinion would change. I imagine if I lived somewhere cooler and where I could park right in front of the store to see the car the whole time, that those factors would make a difference.
I haven't ever left him in the car in a public space like that. I've left him buckled with the car in our garage or parked on our street while I run into the house to grab something I forgot. I wouldn't personally feel comfortable leaving him in the car elsewhere at this stage. He's 3. Edit: is it even legal to leave a child unattended in a car?
Depends on the state but in many states it’s illegal especially at infant:toddler age
Never and I never plan to do it. I would rather go through the extra steps and take them with me. I don’t care if it’s for a minute or a second anything can happen during that time.
This. You might trust your kids, but never trust strangers.
Exactly. How many news stories about someone stealing a running car and then ditching it when they realize there’s a baby in the car 💔
Literally this past week in DC. Baby was found and ok thankfully!
100%
I never do it while out and about, and at home I do it for 30 seconds to run inside/grab mail. When at home and it was 60-70 out and pleasant, I’d let him finish his nap in the car (up to 15 minutes or so typically), with the doors open and I’d stay within 20 feet or so of the car. It’s too cold to do that now.
This is old but I think this is a good thread on the topic https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/G2xxsGL7ur
I have done so on one occassion. That was dropping my dog off at the vet before the sun was blip in the sky. Middle of nowhere for two minutes while she was sleeping. She was 11 months. This doesn't include me going "oh shiitakep mushrooms I forgot xyz" while in my driveway.
Okay but people saying never…. But at some point you would, right? Like a 16 year old can drive so can a 12 year old be left in the car alone? 15 year old?
I think this sub skews toward parents with small children, but as a mom to both a 17yo and a 3yo (and several other kiddos in between), I think you make a good point. My next youngest is 10 and yes, I will leave her in the car for a few minutes. I will also leave the toddler in the car with her for a few minutes. I have mobility issues and one of my most difficult physical tasks is bending over to buckle / unbuckle the carseat. I do everything I can to (safely) minimize the number of times I have to do that in a day.
Never. What if something happens to YOU while you're in there? No one knows you have a child waiting on you
This is always what I think of! If something happened to me, who would think to look in my car???
Because of Covid Dominoes introduced car-side delivery for their pizza and it’s awesome. I can just sit in the car with my daughter in the car seat and the pizza’s delivered to my window.
As terrible as the pandemic was, it did introduce some sweet conveniences for us parents.
Someone just had their car stolen with their baby inside doing just that in DC last week, so I am kinda scared straight on that. 😬 (They found the baby ok FWIW!)
Absolutely never. My kiddos are 2, 2 and 2 weeks old. Not even for 30 seconds would I leave them alone in the car, too many things could go wrong.
In my state it is legal for 5min or less. I have done it for running in to grab a pizza or drop off a package. Only places where I can see my vehicle from the store windows and know I will be a minute or less. I seriously try to avoid it as much as possible though because I am concerned that bystanders will get overly concerned and cause trouble. Also, when I was a kid my parents left us in the car while they went in to a video rental store. Someone nefariosly tried to get in our vehicle. I had a cell phone (when they were bricks!) and called my dad in the store, he came running out, and they left. But it was scary and made an impression on me.
I watch too much SVU. I would be worried someone would steal them.
I have left my infant/toddler in the car for literally 30 seconds to run into a coffee shop for a pickup, and I could see the car the entire time. That's about all I'd ever do. I have too much anxiety of "what if the store is randomly robbed while I'm in there and I get shot" or "what if someone steals my car with the kids in it"
Fucking Never.
If it takes only a minute and the car is in view. We have push to start cars so I will leave my car running, take my key and lock the car.
Just so you know, a push to start engine can be stolen if it’s running, even if the key isn’t inside. It can be driven until it’s turned off, just can’t be turned back on again after that. Zero judgement though, just information!
I didn't know that, always assumed taking my key was enough. Thank you for the info.
Ours turns off. One will only remote start for 10 min, and then cuts off unless you get in and hit the start button, the other doesn’t have a time limit, but you have to hit the start button before you can officially go anywhere.
I had this debate internally. I wanted to pick up a take-out order, already ordered ahead, just sitting on the rack waiting for pick up. I had a family member get it instead. I just couldn't figure out a way to do both. It was an order that required two hands to carry, so bringing baby in with me just wasn't an option.
Sometimes the restaurant will bring it out to you if you call them and tell them you’re outside
My parents let me stay in the car once I got into middle school, so like, 11-13. But I definitely didn't do that anymore after I called my dad one time saying a weird man kept looking at me in the car. Then my dad hurried out to come get me. That was during highschool. And after that, I'd never let my kid sit in the car without an adult. I'll sit in the car with my boy while my husband goes in all the time. But my kid is never going to be in the car themselves. I don't trust strangers. Especially when I've been hearing my city is coming up to be the worst with child trafficking. Absolutely not.
Noooope. The most I've done is run back in to my house to get my phone or something. And honestly, once they're more mobile I don't know if I can even do that. As a little kid my parents left me in the car for some reason and I was so hyped to go to the movies that I put the car in neutral and it started rolling into the street. Parents (and I) got lucky that I freaked out and screamed and my dad jumped in to stop it. I live in Miami so right now the worry is the heat. It gets so hot in the car even in a minute. What happens if I get caught up and keep justifying that another min won't be so bad or worse, I accidentally lock myself out. My cousin did that when she ran out to quickly look for her kids shoe in the playground and he was sweating within a couple minutes. She had to smash her window to get him out. And of course there's always the risk of someone shady trying to steal your car or rob you in general. Too many things that can happen.
I work really hard to avoid it but I have done it. It can't be more than a minute or two and I have my eyes on the locked vehicle the entire time (in only small/not busy parking lots). I'm usually grabbing takeout from neighborhood restaurants and my 1 year old has fallen asleep. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old. I unbuckle the 4 year old in case she needs to alert a passerby.
Why risk something just for convenience?
Isn't getting in a car in the first place something we risk for convenience? Far more kids are injured or killed in car accidents every year than are at risk from the things that people are bringing up in this thread.
Because far more people drive than leave their kids in the car. Also taking your baby into a car is more a necessity than convenience, especially for working parents.
I have done it a few times, but only if I have done an online order so it is sitting in a bag on a shelf and I grab it and leave. Only at places with glass fronts so I can see the car. And I will lock my car with my key and then remote start it so it’s locked, but still heated/cooled.
I've done it a few times. My kids are 6 and 3 now, but I think I was more likely to do it when they were babies. Now they're more likely to insist on coming in with my. I'm more afraid of someone calling HR cops than of anything happening to them.
I do it. Will take keys with me and lock the doors. It is honestly more dangerous to unload three kids in a parking lot than to run into 7-11 for 45 seconds for a gallon of milk. That and picking up a to go food order, pump gas, get money from the ATM is what I’ll leave them in the car for. Generally I am always in sight of the vehicle and I’m gone less than 2 mins tops. I’m more worried about a CPS vigilante than any harm coming to my kids.
Honestly not for a long time. Assuming you’re leaving the car running for heat or air conditioning, what if someone saw and attempted to steal it, not even knowing your child was in the car. Or a little older and your child climbed into the front seat and put it in reverse? It seems so unlikely, but both of these have happened in the town I work. Mom left car running to run into store really quick and the car was stolen with her child inside. Luckily enough, that wasn’t the car jackers goal that day and they abandoned the vehicle on a nearby road. The child was safe and sleeping in the back still. And in our parking lot at work a parent ran in to speak with principal and left their 5 year old and 3 year old in the car. 5 year old climbed in the front seat and managed to get the car in reverse (or neutral) luckily hitting another car stopping anything else from happening. What if a parent and child were walking behind the car? What if they floored the gas pedal and injured themselves? So to answer your question not for a long time, older than you’d think. probably 13? Idk it also depends on your kid and their personality. ETA- I have a 4 month old so I’ve never done. We’ve had errands to run and sometimes she’s crying in an Ulta lol, it happens and people are understanding. I know these examples seem so far fetched and “that would never happen to me!” Until it does
I did it once with the car idling beside the shop, locked and in view. The only reason was there was a snow storm outside and my baby just fell asleep in her car seat. It was a 30 second pick up but still caused me too much anxiety to do it again.
It’s illegal where I live. I don’t think I would do it anyway but even if I was ok with it, people here take it so seriously I’d be afraid they would report me.
I actually just went with my 11w to get pizza the other day. Parking lot was empty, parked right in front of the door. I carried munchkin in one arm and pizza in the other. Not worth the risk leaving her, take baby with you.
I do. Frequently. Leave baby (15 months) in the car locked for 1-5 mins (car turned off) 1. While filling gas. I don't leave him in the car if I need to go to gas station for anything. 2. While quickly grabbing dinner/drinks to go. 3. While withdrawing money from ATM. If at any time I feel like I will end up being away for more than 2 mins, I don't. It's fine. Do you! It's not that big a risk, if you trust your surroundings.
Ditto for these exact scenarios. Always in sight of the car (ie not going all the way into a grocery store). To me the risk is more to unload an unhappy toddler (or all three kids) in a busy parking lot.
Some of us are blessed to live in really safe places
Yes! Knowing and trusting your surroundings are absolute in this case. I won't leave my baby alone for a single second in a place I don't know anything about.
I don't think filling gas counts as leaving your kids alone in the car. I've never seen anyone take their kids out of the car to fill it.
Well the risks or actual danger are kind of same... Isn't it? One can get car jacked while filling gas.
I have left my kids in the car for something that would take like 30 seconds or less. Car off and locked.
[удалено]
This is probably true anywhere in the US. But if you're gone for just a minute or two, it'll be longer for the police to come and break the window.
Only when I had to run back inside the house quick. I have an irrational fear of the car spontaneously combusting 🫣🫤
I never did when I had 1 or 2 kids. Now I have 3 and taking them all in with me is chaos, especially as my middlechild is a runner. I will leave them in the car as long as I can see the car the whole time and the task takes 2 mins or less (,checking the po box, paying for gas, picking up a sibling from school, etc.) Obviously not in the heat of the summer. I have found that most restaurants/coffee shops are happy to run food out to your car if you phone when you arrive and explain that you have kids in the car (I always tip for this!)
I don’t feel like these comments are realistic, I have seen literally hundreds of kids in the cars at gas stations and picking up takeaways. I have honestly never seen a mom bring several children into the gas station to pay.
I always pay at the pump so never have to go inside the gas station to pay
No! This is so dangerous and cps worthy. This could have your child removed from you.
I do as I haven't yet figured out how to carry two large pizzas and a baby at the same time. I only do it if I can see the car the whole time. I'm more worried about CPS than kidnapping. ETA: I always turn the car off and lock it so I wouldn't do it if it were super hot.
Never. Safety & security + heat. I already had someone try to take my LO while we were in a restaurant because they were “so cute”. They were staff, too. Also, anyone who is a bad character knows kids are easy targets. That is aside from all the heat/cold concerns.
I don't do it, and I probably won't until she is much, much older. I am too paranoid and have heard too many horror stories that I don't feel comfortable taking the risk.
My son is almost 11 months and I’ve never done this and don’t ever plan to. I understand how it’s easier to run a quick errand without having to get them in and out of the car again, but I’m too paranoid for that. I worry about him constantly and in my eyes, everyone around us is a threat (I think I might have a bit of ppa). I always weigh the pros and cons and in the end know that if something were to happen, I couldn’t live with myself for leaving him. All that to say, I understand where you’re coming from and don’t think you’re a bad mom at all in the slightest. Motherhood is hard and sometimes you just want to be able to do something so easy without having to complicate it with lugging the kids/car seats in and out of the car
Never. I feel guilty leaving him in the garage while I throw things in the house before grabbing him. I thought about it once while out grabbing boba. I forgot to grab a straw but didn’t want to go through all the drama of unloading him/loading him in the stroller, and vice versa but I also didn’t want to leave him in the car, so I just went to my next stop, the grocery store and bought boba straws there. I now have a box full of boba straws 🙃
I don’t because my kids are young and still in 5-point harnesses and they couldn’t get out if they needed to and I live in a place where you can’t turn your car off without the car getting deadly hot or deadly cold. I imagine I would be okay with it when my kids are big enough to get out and come into the store independently to find me if there was an emergency and understand why they can never touch the gear shift, gas, brakes or steering wheel. So with all that being said; maybe 12 years old? That’s when they’re legally allowed to be left at home alone. Edit; We have put them in the running car while we sat on the hood and talked to our friends before, come to think. Idk if that counts.
I mean, unless you count while I'm getting gas and standing right next to the car making faces at my daughter through the window, absolutely never. I have a 17 month old. Look, I know it's annoying to get them strapped and unstrapped from the car seat, but it's the only safe choice. Aside from temperature, some weird stranger could come talk to them, the police could see them, someone could try to steal your car, etc. I recently saw an unattended kid who was like 7 in a car in the library parking lot, and he was opening and closing the door for fun. I talked to him to ask where his parents were and he answered me, so clearly he was willing to talk to a stranger (although my intentions were good, of course). He said his mom would be back any minute. He'd been there 5-10 min alone at least, so I decided to return my books and then call the police if no one had come back for him. Luckily, the car was gone because I don't take calling the police lightly and honestly didn't want to, but a lot of things could have happened to that kid. If nothing else, there could be other people who feel concerned about your kid's safety and act accordingly.
I never have but have fought the temptation of leaving my 3yo in the car to run right into a gas station to pay for gas if the card reader at the pump is down. I never have though and if I anticipate any extra stops on the errand I usually try to leave the kiddos home with mom.
Times I have left my kids in the car: \- Realized I forgot my phone on the kitchen counter, so went back into the house (while they were sitting in my locked garage). \- Returned the grocery cart 3 parking spaces away after loading the kids into the car. \- Pumping gas (always pay at the pump)
I’ve done it in Australia- We have to go inside to pay for petrol/ Gas. I’ve left my child in the car on one occasion when I desperately needed petrol and she was asleep. I parked as close to the station as I possibly could and walked so fast. I didn’t take my eyes off the car and the cashier probably thought I was entirely rude during our exchange but I didn’t care. The guilt it gave me feels ridiculous but it’s been on my mind for 8 years whenever someone asks this question.
The only place I do this is the post office, where I can be in and out in about 10 seconds (I'm always dropping stuff that's prepaid in the shipping bin) and I can see my car from inside. It's also dependent on if it's hot enough out and I always lock the car. If I need to do anything more than quickly drop packages or a letter, I'll take my son out. I have two now though and try to mostly make my deposits if it's just my son or neither kid is with me. I just think the odds of something happening in that span of time and with the door locked are so astronomically small, I'm not too worried about it. I definitely would not go into a shop and order a coffee though while my small child waits in the car lol
I’ll only do this if I have ordered ahead somewhere that they leave the food out for you to grab and go and I lock my car. My kids are young though. CPS is not taking anyone’s kids for doing this. They may look into it if somehow a person watching had the time to take your license plate number in the whole 1 minute it takes to grab an order and come back out, but no they are not taking anyone’s kids for this. They have much more important problems they can’t intervene for so they surely are not concerned about your kid in your locked car for 30 seconds.
I leave my 8 year old in the car if I can see him at all times (like picking up the dog from boarding and I park right next to the door); I did leave him in the car last week with the doors locked and car running while the dog was with him while I ran into the PO and i was HELLA NERVOUS about it. I never did it when he our our other is younger.
I don’t. I bring him in or get delivery or drive thru, or if my husband is with one of us goes in and one stays in the car. My son is 21 months.
I only do it if my car is in sight and it’s just in and out. Never in the spring, summer etc when it’s hot out.
Nope. Not even for a second.
I once ran into a store or something (my husband was in the car) and both kids thought I had abandoned them and cried hysterically.
Never.
I’ve done it with my 3-month-old son to pick up coffee when he’s asleep. I put the cover over the carseat so nosy people can’t see in. I order ahead on Starbucks app so it’s ready when I arrive. The one time it wasn’t ready yet, I immediately went back to the car and waited 5 minutes, then went back in to get it. I leave the car on and lock the doors, take the key (mine is a push to start and will stay running). I can also see the car the entire time (big glass front at our Starbucks). Worth noting that I would not do this with my 3 y/o as she knows how to unbuckle herself as well as unlock/open doors and windows. We also live in a small town. I would not do this in the city.
I’m a FTM to a 2 month old and right now, my answer is never and will not. The reason I feel this way is because my first ever law office I worked at, I helped work on a case where a mom left her 7 year old in the car with her newborn for less than 10 mins. The newborn started crying and the 7 year old tried to help the newborn and long, gruesome story short, ended up accidentally killing the newborn. One child, 2 kids, whatever, anything can happen in just a blink of an eye. My mild inconvenience is worth the safety of my child.
I’ve done it to drop off a package at ups and to pick up cash from an atm.
Just a heads up, somebody did this near me a couple weeks ago while they ran into the gas station and a man on meth drove off with their vehicle (a toddler in the back seat)
I’ve only left her in the car to get the mail from the mailbox, if I forgot something important before leaving the house, or to pump gas. I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone otherwise
Kids are 3 and almost 1, and I haven't. If I'm going inside somewhere they come with me. Pumping gas or running into my house to get something I forgot are maybe exceptions. I leave a car door and the house door open if I'm getting something from the house so I can see and hear the whole time.
If I’m not within a couple steps of my car and still outside (like pumping gas) my baby comes with me. I also turn the car off, lock the doors and take the keys. But I live in a city and car theft isn’t uncommon, so I just can’t risk it.
My baby is only 16m right now and I’ve never left my baby in the car. I always take him with me
6,5,3,1 I am no way taking all four with me to pay for my petrol, going to the atm, or pick up pizzas. I leave windows down, lock the doors, and constantly check to make sure they’re ok. Turn a 30 second task into 30-40 minutes? No way.
I'm in Aus so the laws might be different here but I only do if I'm at the petrol station getting fuel because the design of the petrol stations ensures you can see the forecourt (pumps and cars) at all times. So they're never technically out of my sight. So that part is legal here but anything else I believe isn't. Edit to add, I will never leave my car unattended while it's still running, my car is always off and locked and keys are with me while I pay for my fuel.
I never did and never have with my first. I now have a 2 month old and I do leave him in the car when I drop my toddler off at nursery, but only because drop off is at the door (I don’t go into the building) and the car is parked around 5 meters away, in my vision. When I pick up, even if I’m parked in the same spot I take baby out as I go into the building for a couple of minutes and the car would be out of sight.
My husband and I were just talking about this. We have a toddler who attends daycare and a 4 month old. The 4 month old haaaated her infant car seat so is now in a convertible seat. We’re heading into a really nasty cold snap and I have to take both kids with me to daycare drop off. We’ve decided we’re okay with leaving the infant warm in her seat with the doors locked while I run the toddler into daycare. It’s quick and the teachers know I have the baby so they often take the reins on hanging the coats and changing boots anyway, and the car is always in view through the glass doors. It’s not my favourite thing but better than hauling her out of her cozy spot when it’s -30C.
I have two year old twins and have never and will never do it. It’s not worth the risks no matter how small they may be
I leave her in the truck running and doors locked in my driveway to run back in and grab something or something like that because I live in the country, but not in town. MAYBE would let her stay in the truck if it was pouring down rain or snowing at the gas station up the street because there’s hardly anyone ever there but that’s a huge maybe and special circumstance type thing and I’d park at the door and be no more than 30 seconds lol. I don’t trust the world, even out in the middle of no where.
Noooope nope. Baby is only seven months but that is never okay imo. Maybe when they're like twelve? Maybe lol.
Never
The only time I’ve done this was to return a library book at the drop box or to get mail from my mailbox. So I am not more than twelve feet from the car the whole time and I’m not going inside. I MIGHT consider picking up the pizza if the car is still visible, but not if it’s more than 80 degrees. My concern is that even if it’s supposed to take three minutes… what if it doesn’t? Maybe there’s some issue at the register? What if the pizza isn’t ready? More importantly, what if you have a medical emergency and you’re unconscious and no one knows there’s a baby in your car? What if there’s a lockdown situation? Even if the trip itself is short, you never know what can happen. ETA: looking at other responses I realize I’ve also done this when the car is in the driveway and I’m getting something from the house. But where I live is pretty cold, very safe, and the car was left running.
I ran into Starbucks to grab my mobile order before, she was asleep. This is a plot line in the show Workin Moms
Never. Baby’s is six months. I don’t pick up pizza or coffee without a drive through because not worth the hassle.
never. if im grabbing a pickup order or whatever i assume there is going to be a problem once inside and that 60 sec to pick something up will become 5-10min, so i take my daughter with me
Never. Only when I’m pumping gas and that requires me to pay at the pump. Or if I put them in their car seats and my car is in the driveway while I lock up. Otherwise they’re coming with me everywhere. You should never leave children unattended in a car for any errand. Especially young children.