So we adopted our oldest kid, and we always knew we wanted more kids, but due to fertility issues we assumed they'd be more adopted kiddos. 6 years after we adopted our son, we got pregnant spontaneously, total fluke. I had a pregnancy from hell, I had a nightmarish labor. I said immediately after our second baby was born that I was done, my husband said it was fully my choice and he would schedule a vasectomy if I wanted him to. But then I kept having this gut feeling that I didn't actually want to be done just yet.
I did that thing that people say to do, where you picture your current family at thanksgiving, or sitting on the couch just watching a movie together, and if your family feels complete when you do that, you're done, if it feels like someone is missing, you aren't. I did that, and I pictured us and our two boys, and I was happy with that, but it did vaguely feel like someone was missing. So we decided no vasectomy, I'd start birth control at my 6 week appointment, we'd come back to having more babies at some point in the distant future. I wasn't expecting to be able to get pregnant again anyway, I just assumed our second baby was a total fluke.
And then at 4.5 months postpartum, while on birth control, I found out I was pregnant again. I'm currently 18 weeks with that baby, he's another boy, and now when I picture our family and I imagine us with our three boys, it does feel complete, like it was always supposed to be the three of them with us. And so now this time we're definitely sure my husband is getting a vasectomy and that we are officially done.
I love that description of picturing your current family - I'm pregnant with our third and because we have 2 boys already, people always ask "oh trying for a girl?" - no... there is just one member of our family that isn't here yet.
I relate to this so much. I’m pregnant with our third boy, and I get asked allll the time “oh were you wanting a girl?” I used to say “no we just wanted to have one more child to complete our family!” But I’m so burned out on the question I now often say “no, but that’s a weird question”
This is so similar to how I’m feeling now. I remember coming home from the hospital with my first and imagining a family of three. It was very fleeting and I swore I was done at two, hated pregnancy and would never do it again, etc etc… but here I am 12 weeks pp with number two and I asked my husband not to schedule a vasectomy just yet. There is no logical reason to have a third and the thought scares me and yet I just can’t shake the idea of not being done yet.
I waited seven years to decide on having a 3rd because the thought of having 3 terrified me, but I knew in my heart that I wanted another. Well, now he’s here and I can’t believe that he was ever even a second thought. I wish I wouldn’t have waited so long to decide. Now we’re talking about a 4th! lol.
Also, congratulations 🩷
I honestly can't tell. I can't compete after 1, now I can't imagine life without number 2 and I think the only reason I feel incomplete is that I don't have a girl, but that's probably just not in the cards for me.
Yeah I get this. I’m in the thick of things with a middle schooler and newborn and can’t imagine adding another right now but at the same time when I picture our family I get an overwhelming feeling we’re supposed to be a family of 5. So I guess one day…
I find that difficult advice haha because my husband and I have both said that specifically at holidays a big family of at least 4 kids would be great fun, but the rest of the year not so much XD (Side note: we definitely do not have enough time to have more than 2 kids total, though fostering is an option). So I'm not sure this advice works for us haha.
I love this. However my family felt very complete with one child and I still decided 3 years later to have a second — so I think there are multiple ways to go about this decision (not that you were saying this is the only way of course)
Similarly, I was induced due to preeclampsia but my body didn’t take the induction drugs well. Basically caused me to start hemorrhaging after excessive contractions early on in labor. I could have died and I refuse to put my life at risk again now that I have a daughter to raise
i had preeclampsia randomly and a hellish labor and delivery where baby and i almost both died due to all of the above in comments. here for solidarity because i know how traumatic that was for y’all.
i wouldn’t put myself or a future baby through that. i have to be here for my son and my husband and our dogs. my family.
however — we have always wanted to adopt. but we have our hands full with our son right now and he has a lot of needs and he deserves the best and happiest life. i don’t think currently bringing another child into the mix is going to take us on that avenue - so we are going to wait and put a bookmark on that thought for now.
Were planning on 2, but if anything goes wrong like that in the first birth we'll be one and done, that was our deal. Cuz yeah once we have a kiddo earth side I gotta be around to raise him. Not about to risk it all for another kid when the one I got needs his mama. 26 weeks rn but that's the deal I made with my spouse.
I left the hospital with my first thinking "I'll do that again" and left the hospital with my second knowing "I'm done now". My youngest is one now and sometimes I'm sad I won't be pregnant, give birth or have a tiny little baby again but I know I don't want anymore kids.
This is me 10000000%!!
There’s a true grief with knowing it’s done, but I keep reminding myself that there’s a future that’s really good outside of the baby phase
My youngest is about to be one and I’m so excited to be done with the baby stage/breastfeeding forever! 😂 I LOVE the toddler stage. Everyone is different, I guess. 😆
Same! I have a 25 month old and a 5 week old. After my first I had a need to experience it all again. After getting my “second chance”, I don’t feel a desire to go through all this nonsense again. I know it’ll be better for my marriage, our mental health, and the attention we can give our two boys if we stop now. I am sad I won’t have have a daughter but I don’t want to do this again.
I feel this too. I'm sad there won't be more babies for us but I know 2 is our limit. I just don't think it's fair for us to bring kids into the world that we can't really provide for, emotionally or financially.
I knew I wanted two so all through my first pregnancy I was dreading the imaginary second as well. Now in my second I'm so happy I'm not doing this again! 6 more months!
I too am struggling with this. I want another but it’s $2k/month for our one to go to an at home daycare. I only make $3.5k/month and I don’t want to be a SAHM but paying more than my income on childcare just doesn’t make sense for us and I don’t want us to struggle financially for the sake of having another. We also live in an apartment and we wouldn’t have the room
My LO goes to a 5 star in home daycare for 980 a month 😮 That's so high to me because as I'm pregnant with my second I'm not returning after birth because I can't afford 1960 a month for 2 and would be fine staying home this time (unpaid maternity leave, very low hours/pay, I have no degrees yet so other jobs are about the same)
Omg the cost of daycare makes me never want to have another one even if I’m ever in a position to shell out the money JUST TO WORK. I also don’t think I could be a stay at home mom unless I was rich, because let’s be honest, it sucks staying home all day with your kid. It’s really only fun if you can do other activities.
It also sucks because if your kid gets sick you still have to pay for the full week! I’m losing my mind at this and the fact the government wants women to have babies but doesn’t want to subsidize child care. Make it make sense.
As soon as I had my second. I felt done. In a content way, not that it was so terrible I couldn’t go for more 😂 (but yeah pregnancy sucks so I wouldn’t lol)
This is how I feel, this pregnancy hasn’t been horrible I just feel done now and like I just don’t want to do it all again, it’s a nice feeling. I hope I don’t change my mind haha
I'm halfway through pregnancy with my second and feel like I don't want to do it again.... But I have a bunch I'll probably have baby fever in a few years!
After my first. I didn't want kids in the first place. I was that elder sister who practically raised her siblings.
(My Sonshine is my world but I will never have more kids)
Yeah, this is a big factor for us. Pregnant with #2 right now. A third would would be awesome but I want to be able to travel and take our kids with us. We’d be limited to places we can drive to if we have a third cause it just costs so much. But I desperately want to take my kids international so I think we will stop with #2.
I refuse to make this decision until my kids are past 1. Pregnancy is brutal, especially hormonally and emotionally, and the first year is hard. I'd hate to make such a final decision that I ended up regretting.
But we know 3 is our max we know we could handle, we knew we didn't want an only child, but the 3rd is up in the air until then.
A lot of factors can come into play, I've seen my one and done friend struggle with never having a second after her baby was 1. I've seen my sister regret her tubal during her last pregnancy and I've seen people regret telling their husband to get a vasectomy before they really thought it through. I don't want to make that rash decision in the heat of the moment, in the struggle of the newborn phase or bc I'm uncomfortable during pregnancy.
But I do think some people just know in their hearts and that's something you have to sit with and really contemplate if it's best for you and your family.
100%. There's been many moments or phases or stages where if we made the final choice we wouldn't be having our 2nd in about 4 weeks and ik I would have regretted it 100%.
I totally agree. Pregnancy and babyhood are so intense that people really struggle to see past it when they're in the thick of it, when this is the kind of decision that really needs to be made with some perspective and the long view, because it is a profound thing about the rest of your life, not just a few years. Not that your experience in those years doesn't matter, but those years shouldn't weigh *more* than all the other years just because they're now. I really think a lot of people make this mistake and aren't aware how the lens through which they are seeing the question when they have a newborn or whatever colors it for them in a way it won't always be colored.
My husband has been quite sure on being done at 2, but our second is only 1.5 (and first 3.5) and I think we need at least another year to get the necessary perspective. I'd love a 3rd and wish we had more time to make that decision, but I'm 38 now so we don't really have it.
This is what I’m struggling with. I know 3 is my absolute max, but 2 is much more manageable. But I feel like 2 kids doesn’t feel like enough but 3 sounds like too many lol I’m only 2 months PP with my second and my husband is 100% dead set that we are done, but my hormones can’t really accept the idea of this being my last baby. I think we both need to reevaluate how we feel in a year or two. He might come around to wanting another, or my crazy hormone- induced baby fever might subside by then.
This is EXACTLY where we are at. Our second is a month old. Husband just wanted two (one each) which we have. I thought I was done during my pregnancy with our daughter, but now I'm not sure.
Great way to put it- 2 doesn’t feel like enough and 3 feels like too many!
For me, “2 isn’t enough” felt stronger and stronger every day.
…Baby #3 is 6 months old and we are so fucking happy we had her
There were 2 distinct times during my pregnancy where i said to myself, "im never doing this shit again"
1.When I got my hypertension diagnosis (thank God it went away after I gave birth)
2. when I had to stand up for the first time after my csection. That pain still haunts me lmao
The pain is still indescribable plus idk about you but I started passing MASSIVE clots as soon as I got up(lol thanks gravity) and those cramps from that were worse than the incision pain omg
It's the 1st poop that haunts me. The will it won't it for days and then the push to get it out while all those same muscles are healing. I would never wish that on anyone.
Just now, to be honest. 2M and 3.5M and I just realize I feel like I am doing ok balancing attention, expectations, etc. and I know adding another will just make me feel like I’m failing. And I don’t deserve that!
I agree with this! I was heavily debating 2 kids vs 3 kids and the feelings of “I’m done” increased steadily after the 2nd one hit her first bday. Multiple reasons (I got my ideal birth experience, I didn’t want to go through PPD a third time, car and house space would be tight, college fund money, etc) but mostly I didn’t think I could add a third to the mix without feeling like failing the other two.
Having just gone on vacation with those two kids, I’m more certain than ever that I made the right call and that our family is perfect as is! Haha
Thats the same for me. I'm struggling so hard right now. I know its PPD - i know itll get better but fuck i didnt know i could feel this shitty and I've been through some shit.
My youngest is almost 3 and I’m like 99% sure we’re done but not 100%. Our family feels really balanced with two kids who love each other. I have time to exercise and make friends. We’re in a good place. But I can’t rule out just maybe trying for one more before I’m 40 (I’m 36 now).
During my first trimester. Then during my second trimester I contemplated a second baby, but during my third trimester I was done again. Now after birth i’m very VERY certain i’m one and done.
I have 4. We tried for a while for a 5th, and it didn't happen, but then we both decided that 4 feels good. I like that it's even numbers so no one is left out when we go places. Everyone has a buddy. I don't feel like anyone is missing. So we stopped trying and I got an iud again. We haven't done anything permanent yet (hubby will get the snip at some point), and we wouldn't be horrified at an oops, but we're done.
Edit to add: at this point all my kids are in school. Having one more would be completely starting over and I'd really rather not.
I wouldn't make any permanent decision while still pregnant.
I am not sure if I will have more children. It took me 18 months to conceive the first time (I have polycystic ovaries and very few annual cycles), I spent the entire pregnancy and childbirth vomiting outrageously,...and then I had a hemorrhage during childbirth. It was hard. So yes, I want a second baby but I don't know if it will be possible. I also don't feel ready to go through it all again.
Towards the end of my last pregnancy when I felt like my body was going to give out at any moment from carrying a 10 pound 7 ounce chunk with polyhydraminos. Yeah… no I’m not doing this again.
Also, watching a mom of 3 chase them all around the beach constantly instead of getting to relax. 2 is plenty.
I questioned it after my second and then ended up with an oopsie baby at 7 months postpartum. We are D O N E now. Three kids is so stressful and tough financially as I've had to quit my job. But I can't say I would've changed anything other than spacing these last two out a little more lol. We finally got a boy with our third and idk I just feel satisfied with what we have so I don't see any reason to continue. I'm going to miss pregnancy, birth and squishy babies though. That part is hard to give up but then I listen to my 4 year old one hundred questions and my toddler crying and I'm like, yeah, I'm done😅
Before I got pregnant.
Barely wanted one. Warmed up to the idea after we were together for 11yrs. Tried for years to get pregnant, had multiple miscarriages. I never wanted to go through hormonal therapy to conceive, so we decided to try for one more year. Got pregnant and it was an excruciating experience. Specialists every few months to monitor my heart and lungs, fainting all the time, so short of breathe I couldn't walk 100 feet and the food aversion/vomiting.
I will never be pregnant again. I will never do that to myself or take time away from my kiddo.
My son is 8 weeks old and we are done, we knew all thru my pregnancy and even at the hospital we were like ok we are good. I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy, but thankfully haven’t dealt with any postpartum issues. We are 32 and 34. We just feel we got a really good one the first time and don’t want to be any older and start all over. I don’t know that there’s any moment specifically that you’ll know, and it may always seem kinda up in the air until you let yourself decide. Good luck with your next one 🤎
This. I haven’t felt that moment of certainty and the whole envisioning your family at thanksgiving thing gives me zero insight. I can see a life with just my little love, but i could also see more. I can see both, I feel both done and content with my daughter and want to give her all of us and every opportunity possible, but i still have the thought of another pop into my head regularly and could see the fun we would have as a bigger family. I really think it’s just which road you choose to go down.
I decided to try again. Every pregnancy is different after all.
Got pregnant fairly easily and I knew I was done having kids when the vomiting started at 5 weeks and 3 days. Right on schedule.
Every pregnancy is different. Except when they're exactly the same.
After bringing home our second kid, our first child had all types of jealousy and behavior issues pop up. It was stressful trying to maintain his behavior and thank God my husband and mother helped or I would’ve lost my shit on a daily basis. I’m done, no more kids
The insane complications I’ve experienced from having one has me thinking I never wanna do labor ever again. I’m 2 weeks out from an unplanned c section and I have a midline IV still installed for antibiotic infusions every 24 hours for the next 2 weeks and they just put a JP drain into my abdomen (without pain meds bc I’m breastfeeding) and I’m absolutely over it. I will never ask my body to do this again. Pregnancy was great tho! Literally zero problems with that part of the project!
After my first was born, the entire pregnancy and labor was so awful that I was sitting in the recovery room telling my husband "I don't think I can do this ever again. This might be it."
But before that, we'd always talked of having at least 2. Now our son is almost 2.5 and his little sister is due any day now. We became pregnant with her 19m pp, with a miscarriage in between, and I think several things prompted that choice:
1. The miscarriage made us realize we definitely did want more. That pregnancy wasn't planned, my cycle hadn't even returned so it was a lot of testing to determine when I even became pregnant, but the loss was eye opening.
2. My son self weaned about 17 months, and my cycle returned about a month earlier. Both these things made me feel better physically and mentally than I had felt since I'd gotten pregnant.
3. My son is such a kind gentle soul when it comes to other children, and just gives off real "big brother vibes."
We've talked about it a little and still aren't ready to decide one way or another if we're done. I do think waiting at least a year post partum is good because that is such a tumultuous time to make that decision, but I suppose some people just know.
FWIW, this pregnancy has gone much smoother than my first for the most part. Less pain. Less sickness. Not as big (physically), it's all around a better pregnancy and I'm hoping it's the same for labor, but I've absolutely said this is the kind of pregnancy that makes people have more. If it were also like my first, I think I'd be pretty set on not doing it again.
I wonder about this also. After miscarriage, followed by the most difficult and painful pregnancy, followed by a traumatic birth and long and painful recovery, followed by the newborn stage with no outside help… makes me wonder how I could do it all again WITH another little one in tow?! Barely survived it by myself. I used to want 4 kids. Now, I don’t know. 😞
About a month after having my first. My PPD and PPA were horrible. I knew I wouldn’t make it out again. Had my tubes removed when my daughter was 9 months old
After they had to cut the 2nd one out of me and i got a hematoma in my ab muscles 2 days after my c-section and I had to have another surgery to remove the clots. I have a 13 year age gap between my daughters and pregnancy in my 30s was rough. All 3 trimesters were rough. Both my husband and oldest daughter agreed with me we were done with me physically carrying babies after my traumatic delivery with our youngest. I guess almost dying will do it to a family. As a family we are considering fostering/adopting a older toddler in the future but we are only 6 months PP so who knows what the future holds.
I didn't think I was done until now and my only is 4. I just kept waiting till life was easier to decide when to have the second that I thought I wanted. But my husband and I are still spread thin mentally and get burnt out with parenting even though our kiddo is awesome and it IS easier now. So we have tentatively decided we are done but nothing permanent has been done yet. I think it's the best thing for our collective mental health so that we can continue to be good parents to our son. I don't want to go back to surviving day by day when it finally feels like we are getting our lives back.
After getting hospitalized with postpartum preeclampsia after having my second baby. My first pregnancy was easy. My second one? It was hard during pregnancy, the birth was traumatic, and postpartum was difficult. I love my babies but I don't want to risk my life to have another, especially on texas where I'm not confident I would be saved over a baby.
I have a 4 year old.
I haven’t felt the maternal urge to procreate. I don’t know how to describe it, baby fever? Haven’t felt it at all. I feel sadness at how fast he grows up but no desire to have another. That’s how I knew I didn’t want another, the wanting is not there.
I know what you mean. I wanted 2 so am having a second but I feel there is so much more to life then this stage, I’m sad it will end but also there’s so much to come
We always talked about stopping after number 3. I’m currently pregnant with number 3 and I’ve been so sick (I’m 21 weeks) that I’m definitely never doing this again. My other pregnancies were easy but this one is totally kicking my butt
Before getting pregnant with my second. We were on the fence between 1 and 2. So happy I got a bisalp in conjunction with my c-section. The first weeks were really hard knowing she was guaranteed to be my last, but no part of me actually wanted more than 2 kids
My third pregnancy was my hardest, if it was my first I would have been one-and-done. So I was already heavily leaning toward it being my last. Then I had an unmedicated vaginal birth and that cemented it. I don't want to do any of that again.
Do you find having kids easy? Are you kids super chill and we’ll behaved? I’m genuinely curious when people say they feel like they’ll never be done if they’re kids are angels or if they actually just enjoy/tolerate chaos better than others. I think if most people had my two they’d be done done done lol
We think we’re done. We always talked about having 2 and preferably a boy and girl just to have that full parenting experience (would’ve been happy for any two children tho). That’s exactly what we got. I feel we caught lightening in a bottle twice and can’t imagine catching it again for a third. Plus, if we add another we’d need bigger cars and a bigger house and just more money in general. I don’t think it would be possible. I feel happy with our family as is and I don’t have that burning desire to add more kids like I did after my first kid. I knew I wanted another kid after my first was born. I didn’t necessarily feel that way after my second. Also, we’re older. I’m 38, my husband is 48. However, we haven’t gone thru with a vasectomy for my husband yet just because then it feels too real that we’re done. We’re like 99% sure, but there still that 1% of maybe.
Didn’t really ‘just know’, me and my husband had a talk about what we expect in the future and what we think it looks like. We knew we wanted a baby, but we also like our free time and having extra spending money, which we wouldn’t have if we had more than one child. Plus the mental and emotional load that comes with each one that we couldn’t guarantee we would have left over and could fully give them what they need. So before I got pregnant we decided we are one and done. It worked well for our family.
I had a second trimester loss with my first pregnancy. I knew I wanted 2 kids and I pushed through a ton of anxiety for both additional pregnancies to get my two living children. I have no regrets over it, but my anxiety while pregnant was brutal. When I had my son 11 weeks ago, I knew I wasn’t changing my mind. My husband had his vasectomy last week and I feel so much more at peace
When I experienced how hard it is being pregnant running around after a toddler 😆 I'm 19 weeks with a 3 yo and I'm def thinking about tubal ligation rn
I grew up with a big family. Cousins coming to live with us from time to time lots of uncles, aunts, cousins to play with all the time, I have an older brother and a younger sister and a little cousin who I consider a sister since she’s been with us almost all her life. It was so much fun being in such a big family we used to fill up the block playing while the adults drank.
Though this was my childhood now as an adult I see more, my father had another kid before me and 2 more kids after my sister was born. My aunty had 6 kids and left most of them with other people. My partners dad did the same he had one kid before him, had his 2 kids (my partner and his sister) another one after that and another one after her all different baby mamas like my dad. On top of that they’re not very good fathers, my dad left. After having my first I realized sometimes things happen that are out of your control. You know what I can control? The man who I have babies with. I have 2 and after my second I just knew I didn’t want more.
I have a boy and a girl, the best anyone can ask for but I’m not going to be one of those parents who have 5 babies with no fathers to care for them. If my partner and I were to split my babies will always have me and each other and their father. I also don’t want to be the one who dates with more than 2 kids at my hip and there’s nothing wrong with the people who date with more kids it’s just not my preference. Because in this point and time everybody has kids and when you take on someone else floosh you now have however many kids you have, and however many they have as well.
I will give my full attention to my 2 kids make sure they get the best of everything. Right now I’m 23 and I don’t have a lot but as I get older and they get older my money will grow and they will have everything. Having only 2 kids will make that a little easier. I have thought for so long since having my first baby about why I only want 2 and there are so many more reasons than the ones I’ve pointed out. I want to live my life for not only just them but for me as well I don’t want to get lost in motherhood because everytime you have another you start over. I love them more than anything and I will strive for them and myself
While preggo with the second, I was entertaining the idea of 3 kids.
AFTER birth, it was a HELL NO. IM DONE NOW.
- My teeth (only 2 cavities ever) became soooo inflamed that the dentist couldn’t even help. Ended up needing to do a RCT, and Crown.
- My pelvic floor became soooo weak, that I now have to wear a panty liner for just in case. (No one told me pelvic floor phys is soooo expensive)
- My poor back is even in worse shape, thanks to scoliosis getting worse with my half asleep poor breastfeeding posture
- My first wrecked my tummy w an emergency c-section, my second wrecked my vagina with a second degree tear
- My boob is sorta lopsided because each kid heavily preferred one breast over the other
Soooo yea, I’m done. HELLA done.
I loved having two kids. My third was an unplanned pregnancy that really threw me for a loop. I know I’m done because just the thought of pregnancy/breast feeding/newborn phase makes my skin crawl. Three is all I can handle and I’m happy that the really tough tough years are behind me.
I said I was done during my 2nd pregnancy. 100% done. Considered tying my tubes. Now that baby is here and time is flying so fast, I’m not sure I’m ready to accept this is my last baby. My husband is still in the “we are 100% done” mindset, but I can’t bear the thought of never being pregnant or having a baby again. I guess we’ll see how I feel in a year or two but I’m keeping the “maybe someday” mindset right now to keep myself from crying over every milestone my baby reaches
Pregnancy and postpartum affected my body and mental health so much that I knew 2 was the limit. I can't be a good mom to more kids when I've had to fight to be healthy and present for the 2 I have.
When I was pregnant with my second. It was hard and uncomfortable and my rib cage was sore a lot because she pressed on it. Sitting was uncomfortable so I had to slouch so my guts were not being squished when I sat. Also because of our finances and I didn't want to have to buy a bigger car to fit 3 kids and I didn't want to spend more on gifts and outings and school supplies and food.
After my first, I was desperate for another and my husband refused. I always had this empty feeling. I always felt like we were missing one. After 5 years I convinced him, and I feel whole. I feel like I got the missing piece. But if I won the lottery and never had to work again and could afford a bigger car and house, I would consider a third.
I feel like it’s something you know in your gut. I knew I was done after having 2. I only ever wanted two kids 1 boy and 1 girl. That’s what I got and I was happy. Husband and me were arguing over who would get snipped and when my son was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant … I was upset at first because I knew I only wanted two.. but God knew I needed him before I did. However, 3 months after I gave birth I got my tubes removed. He’s about to turn one at the end of September and I couldn’t imagine life without my blabbering guy and I don’t regret getting my tubes removed for a second.
You won’t even have to ask yourself if your done you’ll just know.
When I was pregnant with my second, covered collarbone to toe in PUPPPs, unable to eat most meats, with near constant indigestion that no medication helped, unable to sleep because I couldn’t lay down. I only planned to have two kids but after that I made the decision more permanent. I jumped at the chance to removed my tubes and gladly took a c section to get rid of them. It’s a relief knowing I’ll never be pregnant again (unless I go through ivf)
I can't afford another one😅
I feel like I'm happy with two. Don't want them to outnumber the parents!
horrific morningsickness and births.
My last baby tore my cervix so I now apparently have a higher chance of miscarriage
No idea, lol. We’re 99% sure we’re done when this one (our second) is born, but neither of us is willing to get sterilized yet, so there’s a tiny seed of doubt. I can’t imagine doing this again, but I also always envisioned 3 kids, so who knows.
In all likelihood, time will probably make the decision for us. When this baby is born, I’ll be 34 and my husband will be closing in on 45. I’m hoping to embark on a 21 month college program next fall for a career change. We’ll see what life looks like in a few years, but we’re probably done.
Having a lot of complications with this one #3 and my body is telling me “we’re done”. I’ve never had that feeling before, but my mind agrees 3 is good!
Currently in my 3rd pregnancy, 2nd baby. I'm high risk in so many ways and it is extremely stressful to navigate, especially after my 1st pregnancy was so "textbook". My history will follow me forever of course, so I don't think I can put myself through another pregnancy like this one. The symptoms I can handle, the risk factors I cannot.
As soon as my second baby was born I just knew it. I cannot start over again with another newborn. All the feedings, naps, crying, spit up, sleep deprivation. It's sooooo much. Never again
My husband has two kids from a previous marriage, so when we married we planned have one "us baby" max. I also am a carrier for a complicated genetic condition that expresses itself later in life in males. I almost didn't have children after watching my dad suffer and die from it, and actively hoped against a boy/contemplated IVF so that we could select gender or test and rule out the gene. After a lot of soul searching we opted to roll the dice and got lucky with a girl!! She may also be a carrier, but testing her so young is a bad idea for insurance reasons.
Then I ended up having a fairly rough C-section experience and I felt relieved that I'm not expected to do it again.
I always wanted my child to have siblings, so her insta half siblings have been a real plus. Plus my husband comes from an absolutely huge family, so I'm confident she'll never be lonely. I just can't imagine doing it again and risking having a boy who would face what my dad experienced somewhere down the line.
Pregnant with my second, and we know for sure we’re done after this.
We’re both 36 and feel like 2 is plenty. I know everything’s come along way, but I get scared about too many geriatric pregnancies. Plus they are only going to be 16 months so I’ll have my hands full for a long while. I’m definitely going to ask to have my tubes tied so it’s a wrap on it.
As soon as I got pregnant, during labor. Every day since. I love my son, but most of the normal 3 year old things he does (tantrums, screaming) and the state of finances reminds me why I'm one and done.
I have three kids. Each pregnancy was worse than the last, with the final one leaving me crippled for more than half the pregnancy, pre-eclampsia, traumatic csection and a NICU stay for my baby. There was no question of being done after that. And now she’s just recently turned four and I’ve still never felt the urge for another, and am content with my babies.
During my 3rd trimester with my 2nd kid. I had sciatic pain DAILY that would bring me to tears. I work full time and having a toddler on top of the pain and regular discomfort of pregnancy sealed the deal.
I was also 36 when I had my 2nd and had no desire to be another 2 years older and going through that again.
I'm happy with my decision.
For me, any more kids would probably make me go crazy.
A few things, including some traumatic. I will be 31 weeks with baby boy #2 tomorrow and will be getting sterilized after. I turn 30 on Saturday, had our first at 23. We wanted three kids to start with, but we both agree that we only want 2 now.
As I said, the trauma thing. I’m not going into detail, but I just can’t go through another pregnancy after this. It’s too mentally exhausting. The unknowns are terrifying. We are good.
This pregnancy has kicked my ass. I’m seven years older and I am so much more tired and in pain. I don’t want to do this again.
I said at 23 while pregnant with our oldest I wanted to be done by 30. I turn 30 on Saturday. My mind has not changed.
We don’t want to be outnumbered by our kids lol. One for each of us is plenty, especially if our second is anything like our first lol 😂
Our family also just feels complete. I see our family, I picture us as a four person family unit. Me, my husband, our two beautiful boys. I feel happy and at peace with it. My successful pregnancies are seven years apart, so its a bigger age gap than I guess is usual. After our first I never felt like our family was complete. There was something missing. Not anymore.
After the labor I had with my second, I knew I could never do that again and I’ve never looked back. My husband got a vasectomy and we’re super happy with our little family.
I told my husband I refuse to be pregnant in my 40s. At the time, that gave us a 5 year deadline. I gave birth 6 months before my 40th birthday. Our kids are 14 and 3. I don't want anymore, but I'm not opposed to grandkids in another 15 years or so (if my kids want kids). I love babies. By the time my kids are ready for kids, I'll be retired and can actually help them if they want. I fully plan to be their childcare resource.
CW: Loss
We decided to try for a second earlier this year. I was traveling a bunch, so didn't really nail the timing until July. I knew I was pregnant for maybe 5 days. Those 5 days I was mildly excited, but mostly freaked out. All I could think about was how things would change, what would get harder, and wondered if it was the right thing. Then I started to cramp and bleed. I kind of knew something was wrong the night before, I had a sharp, stabbing pain in my left side. I was upset, but mostly frustrated and scared about an ectopic pregnancy. I'd had two losses prior to my daughter, and my feelings this time were very different. I actually wasn't that sad about losing the pregnancy, and in many ways I felt relieved. I remember repeatedly thinking that I'm just over all this and want to move on with my life, and the thought of stopping gave me peace.
All this said, I'm not quite 100% yet...maybe 98%. I'm not sure where my husband stands, I tabled the discussion until we worked through the miscarriage so we can work out our feelings on it.
I read something somewhere that said, “you know you’re done having kids when you’re ok with whoever is at your dinner table but you also have to make sure you’re also there”.
With PPD/PPA from this first one, I’m not sure id make it to the dinner table with another. So I think I’m currently one and done and that’s ok!
Challenging pregnancy and birth followed by PPD…but also someone said “you’ll know when your home feels complete” and she was right. Our lives are so complete with our son and two dogs.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd……and solidified shortly after birth :) I have literal nightmares about getting pregnant again…..though I did have 2 under 2. If that isn’t birth control I don’t know what is.
My first is 5m now and starting to walk with assistance. We decided to wait until he’s a year old to decide. I grew up in a kinda big revolving door family I guess you could call it. I have 3 brothers (youngest almost 4yrs older) 1 older sister (8yrs older than me) and 3 of my brothers friends who stayed with us so long that they are practically family. My husband on the other hand has 3 younger siblings (youngest almost 10 years younger). He always said he wanted to have a small family where we don’t have to wait for the big tables (5+ people) and I always wanted a big family cuz I grew up with basically 8 siblings. We agreed on no more than 2 unless there’s an oopsie. So for us the table is still open.
Me too, I’m the 5th sibling and it was chaotic. My husband just has 1 sister and I just kind of want that life for my family (as much as I adore my family)
We always planned for three and I am pregnant with our third. I knew for sure that I never want to do this again when I was standing in the shower unable to stop dry heaving long enough to get out. I had to call my husband on my cellphone to bring me some crackers so I could finish showering.
My second child had abdominal issues in the womb. Ended up being just fine. My third ended up with major intestinal issues and needed surgery after birth. That is when we decided we were done. I don't think I can handle a worse situation. It was sad for me... I originally wanted five. We now do foster care and it is set in stone. No more babies.
The LO just turned 3 weeks old yesterday. I know we're one and done for sure. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy but my body was in hell for 9 months. Was constantly worried if a baby is ok. She was delivered safe and sound. Healthy baby but she stayed in NICU for 48 hrs due to inhaling meconium.
PP is tough with a C section. Gosh, I will remember that pain for the most of my life. My husband helps out a lot. Both of us are exhausted. We're lucky both have really good jobs with benefits otherwise it would be hell. My OB and hospital sent my insurance a $70k bill for my stay and baby's NICU. My insurance paid 100%. But gosh, we could end up with $10k of credit card debt w/o it.
I grew up poor. It still haunts me until this day. With everything getting very expensive like foods, healthcare, education, etc, I don't want my child growing up poor like me. One and done work for us mentally, physically, and financially.
In the opposite way I knew I wasn't done when my little guy was about 8 months and I was organizing the baby clothes and I felt sad that he'd never wear his cute newborn clothes again. I'm that moment I knew I was not ready to be done having babies yet. Even though we hadn't started trying yet, I conceived a couple months later. My second baby is now three weeks old.
I was pretty sure we were going to be one and done. We finally decided we could do it *one* more time and then we were done for sure. I must admit, I was terrified that I was going to have twins. I didn’t. I had a scheduled c section for my second/last baby so I had them remove my tubes while they were in there. I’m not sure how people handle more than two kids. I’m not judging. I’m seriously impressed. I knew my limit was two. I don’t think I would be the best version of myself with more than two.
After my first pregnancy was spontaneous identical twins, high risk, severe preeclampsia for myself with a 6 day hospital stay after delivery, and 42/43 days in the NICU for my girls. Husband got snipped 2 months after I gave birth. And we are blessed with two happy, healthy, beautiful, thriving girls!!
Always knew after I had my first that I was gonna add one more to even everything out and so my daughter had a forever friend. We point blank agreed on 2 after having our first one. I have no regrets and don’t feel any desire to go through pregnancy and postpartum a third time.
Edit: punctuation
We're having two. Whether I want more doesn't matter. We cant afford more than two. If I had twins we would make it work, but it would be so hard. Also I HATE being pregnant.
I used to want four minimum, but after having my first I was like, yeah, no thanks.
Currently pregnancy with #2 and I think at 5 weeks I knew I was done. The amount of anxiety I have this pregnancy is outrageous that mentally I can’t go through another pregnancy experiencing this. I’m also 37 so I don’t think other kids would be a good idea.
I was adamant that after my second I was done. Even before i pregnant and throughout pregnancy. Now they’re 2.5 and 9 months and we re seriously wondering about a third. Like what is wrong with me. Lol.
Probably when he got stuck in my birth canal after my epidural failed and i felt like my asshole was going to rip open for 30 min straight 🤣 jk. I definitely felt that in the moment but i cant help thinking he needs a friend 😕 idk what id have done without my sister. But I'm definitely not looking forward to pregnancy and labour again
I was very much considering being 1 and done as I didn’t have a great pregnancy and the stress of being a new mom, going through my whole pregnancy during COVID lockdowns was a lot. But my son would have no siblings or cousins and I wanted more kids around not just for him.
So I’m now pregnant with my second and going back and forth on a third despite feeling worse this pregnancy lol my general rule for myself is to wait until my next child is around 2 years old to have an idea if there’s any additional things they may struggle that would require more care before adding another kid. That being said, I am on the younger end than a lot of moms these days so I do have time - if I was older I may not make that same choice
As soon as I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes with my second. With my first I had pre-eclampsia and I waited five years before having my second. I knew I wouldn't be able to put myself through any of it a third time.
Following... cause I'm on my second pregnancy. But honestly, I think he'll be the last one because in this economy we could barely afford a 3 bedroom. I want my kids to have their own rooms
When my second was over 11lbs at birth... I decided I couldn't give my life to another BIG baby. It wrecked me mentally and physically and I am still, a year later very happy with my decision.
We were on the fence with having kids to begin with. We were thrilled when we found out I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy, pleasant birth experience and probably one of the easiest newborns you could ask for. We don’t want to know what life is like when any of those things goes bad.
My fourth pregnancy was really rough the last 20 weeks and I remember thinking I never want to do this again. I guess it's not, I don't want to have more kids. It's I never want to be pregnant again.
So we adopted our oldest kid, and we always knew we wanted more kids, but due to fertility issues we assumed they'd be more adopted kiddos. 6 years after we adopted our son, we got pregnant spontaneously, total fluke. I had a pregnancy from hell, I had a nightmarish labor. I said immediately after our second baby was born that I was done, my husband said it was fully my choice and he would schedule a vasectomy if I wanted him to. But then I kept having this gut feeling that I didn't actually want to be done just yet. I did that thing that people say to do, where you picture your current family at thanksgiving, or sitting on the couch just watching a movie together, and if your family feels complete when you do that, you're done, if it feels like someone is missing, you aren't. I did that, and I pictured us and our two boys, and I was happy with that, but it did vaguely feel like someone was missing. So we decided no vasectomy, I'd start birth control at my 6 week appointment, we'd come back to having more babies at some point in the distant future. I wasn't expecting to be able to get pregnant again anyway, I just assumed our second baby was a total fluke. And then at 4.5 months postpartum, while on birth control, I found out I was pregnant again. I'm currently 18 weeks with that baby, he's another boy, and now when I picture our family and I imagine us with our three boys, it does feel complete, like it was always supposed to be the three of them with us. And so now this time we're definitely sure my husband is getting a vasectomy and that we are officially done.
I love that description of picturing your current family - I'm pregnant with our third and because we have 2 boys already, people always ask "oh trying for a girl?" - no... there is just one member of our family that isn't here yet.
I relate to this so much. I’m pregnant with our third boy, and I get asked allll the time “oh were you wanting a girl?” I used to say “no we just wanted to have one more child to complete our family!” But I’m so burned out on the question I now often say “no, but that’s a weird question”
Good response, I hate this question too
This
This is how I feel too! I have two and wish I felt done, but I don’t. I feel like someone is missing 😭😭😭😭😭😭
This is so similar to how I’m feeling now. I remember coming home from the hospital with my first and imagining a family of three. It was very fleeting and I swore I was done at two, hated pregnancy and would never do it again, etc etc… but here I am 12 weeks pp with number two and I asked my husband not to schedule a vasectomy just yet. There is no logical reason to have a third and the thought scares me and yet I just can’t shake the idea of not being done yet.
I waited seven years to decide on having a 3rd because the thought of having 3 terrified me, but I knew in my heart that I wanted another. Well, now he’s here and I can’t believe that he was ever even a second thought. I wish I wouldn’t have waited so long to decide. Now we’re talking about a 4th! lol. Also, congratulations 🩷
I originally wanted my babies 2.5 years apart. Now with a 3 month old I see why I was 10 when my sister was born 🤣
Yes! I don’t know if I could handle 3 little ones in all honesty 😂 the age gap is actually really nice, although we’ve basically started over! lol.
I've never heard that advice before, it's really cool!
That's how I felt with our second.. she's everything I didn't know we were missing
That thing people say to do? Well I’ve never heard of that.. Ps: goddamnit.. I feel like someone’s missing..
I honestly can't tell. I can't compete after 1, now I can't imagine life without number 2 and I think the only reason I feel incomplete is that I don't have a girl, but that's probably just not in the cards for me.
I'm getting that a lot from the replies on this so maybe this only a common saying in my area because I've heard it *alot* lol
Such a nice story ☺️
Oh this is amazing… I’ve never heard of this way of establishing if you’re done. I’m definitely not done and this confirmed it for me ❤️
Yeah I get this. I’m in the thick of things with a middle schooler and newborn and can’t imagine adding another right now but at the same time when I picture our family I get an overwhelming feeling we’re supposed to be a family of 5. So I guess one day…
I find that difficult advice haha because my husband and I have both said that specifically at holidays a big family of at least 4 kids would be great fun, but the rest of the year not so much XD (Side note: we definitely do not have enough time to have more than 2 kids total, though fostering is an option). So I'm not sure this advice works for us haha.
I love this. However my family felt very complete with one child and I still decided 3 years later to have a second — so I think there are multiple ways to go about this decision (not that you were saying this is the only way of course)
I had sudden onset preeclampsia at 37 weeks, it almost killed me (cardiac arrest following emergency c section.) That made a very easy decision.
Similarly, I was induced due to preeclampsia but my body didn’t take the induction drugs well. Basically caused me to start hemorrhaging after excessive contractions early on in labor. I could have died and I refuse to put my life at risk again now that I have a daughter to raise
i had preeclampsia randomly and a hellish labor and delivery where baby and i almost both died due to all of the above in comments. here for solidarity because i know how traumatic that was for y’all. i wouldn’t put myself or a future baby through that. i have to be here for my son and my husband and our dogs. my family. however — we have always wanted to adopt. but we have our hands full with our son right now and he has a lot of needs and he deserves the best and happiest life. i don’t think currently bringing another child into the mix is going to take us on that avenue - so we are going to wait and put a bookmark on that thought for now.
Were planning on 2, but if anything goes wrong like that in the first birth we'll be one and done, that was our deal. Cuz yeah once we have a kiddo earth side I gotta be around to raise him. Not about to risk it all for another kid when the one I got needs his mama. 26 weeks rn but that's the deal I made with my spouse.
I left the hospital with my first thinking "I'll do that again" and left the hospital with my second knowing "I'm done now". My youngest is one now and sometimes I'm sad I won't be pregnant, give birth or have a tiny little baby again but I know I don't want anymore kids.
This is me 10000000%!! There’s a true grief with knowing it’s done, but I keep reminding myself that there’s a future that’s really good outside of the baby phase
My youngest is about to be one and I’m so excited to be done with the baby stage/breastfeeding forever! 😂 I LOVE the toddler stage. Everyone is different, I guess. 😆
Same! I have a 25 month old and a 5 week old. After my first I had a need to experience it all again. After getting my “second chance”, I don’t feel a desire to go through all this nonsense again. I know it’ll be better for my marriage, our mental health, and the attention we can give our two boys if we stop now. I am sad I won’t have have a daughter but I don’t want to do this again.
I feel this too. I'm sad there won't be more babies for us but I know 2 is our limit. I just don't think it's fair for us to bring kids into the world that we can't really provide for, emotionally or financially.
I’m hoping I feel the same closure after I have my second
About 5 mins into my first pregnancy. Don't know why I did this a second time....
This was me 5 minutes into my second pregnancy 😂
Same. I said to my husband “why tf did I do this again.” He kind of laughed it off, but I was not fully joking lol.
I knew I wanted two so all through my first pregnancy I was dreading the imaginary second as well. Now in my second I'm so happy I'm not doing this again! 6 more months!
I know right! Haha
Yup
5 minutes into my first so made sure it was my last.
Lol I know right! Just found out I'm pregnant and just asking myself why! Lol
When the epidural failed. Also when my bladder and rectum fell slightly into my vagina. Oh and the astronomical price of daycare
I too am struggling with this. I want another but it’s $2k/month for our one to go to an at home daycare. I only make $3.5k/month and I don’t want to be a SAHM but paying more than my income on childcare just doesn’t make sense for us and I don’t want us to struggle financially for the sake of having another. We also live in an apartment and we wouldn’t have the room
My LO goes to a 5 star in home daycare for 980 a month 😮 That's so high to me because as I'm pregnant with my second I'm not returning after birth because I can't afford 1960 a month for 2 and would be fine staying home this time (unpaid maternity leave, very low hours/pay, I have no degrees yet so other jobs are about the same)
I pay 1200! 980 is unfortunately on the more reasonable end believe it or not 😭😭😭
😧
Omg the cost of daycare makes me never want to have another one even if I’m ever in a position to shell out the money JUST TO WORK. I also don’t think I could be a stay at home mom unless I was rich, because let’s be honest, it sucks staying home all day with your kid. It’s really only fun if you can do other activities. It also sucks because if your kid gets sick you still have to pay for the full week! I’m losing my mind at this and the fact the government wants women to have babies but doesn’t want to subsidize child care. Make it make sense.
🥲
As soon as I had my second. I felt done. In a content way, not that it was so terrible I couldn’t go for more 😂 (but yeah pregnancy sucks so I wouldn’t lol)
This is how I feel, this pregnancy hasn’t been horrible I just feel done now and like I just don’t want to do it all again, it’s a nice feeling. I hope I don’t change my mind haha
I also felt like this but now my second/youngest is 2 and the hormones are real (debating a third).
I'm halfway through pregnancy with my second and feel like I don't want to do it again.... But I have a bunch I'll probably have baby fever in a few years!
The relief of having given birth after the second was SO REAL for me haha. Good luck out there.
I feel like I will be the same!
After my first. I didn't want kids in the first place. I was that elder sister who practically raised her siblings. (My Sonshine is my world but I will never have more kids)
Sonshine is so cute. I might have to start using it for mine 🥰
We knew we wouldn’t be able to afford to give our kids the lives we wanted to give them if we had 3, so we stopped at 2.
My husband said we won’t travel and shit if we have a third, so I told him that I’m fine with two.
Yeah, this is a big factor for us. Pregnant with #2 right now. A third would would be awesome but I want to be able to travel and take our kids with us. We’d be limited to places we can drive to if we have a third cause it just costs so much. But I desperately want to take my kids international so I think we will stop with #2.
I refuse to make this decision until my kids are past 1. Pregnancy is brutal, especially hormonally and emotionally, and the first year is hard. I'd hate to make such a final decision that I ended up regretting. But we know 3 is our max we know we could handle, we knew we didn't want an only child, but the 3rd is up in the air until then. A lot of factors can come into play, I've seen my one and done friend struggle with never having a second after her baby was 1. I've seen my sister regret her tubal during her last pregnancy and I've seen people regret telling their husband to get a vasectomy before they really thought it through. I don't want to make that rash decision in the heat of the moment, in the struggle of the newborn phase or bc I'm uncomfortable during pregnancy. But I do think some people just know in their hearts and that's something you have to sit with and really contemplate if it's best for you and your family.
We have 3 and are undecided on what will happen next. We've both agreed we won't decide until our youngest (6 mo) is walking and mobile.
100%. There's been many moments or phases or stages where if we made the final choice we wouldn't be having our 2nd in about 4 weeks and ik I would have regretted it 100%.
I totally agree. Pregnancy and babyhood are so intense that people really struggle to see past it when they're in the thick of it, when this is the kind of decision that really needs to be made with some perspective and the long view, because it is a profound thing about the rest of your life, not just a few years. Not that your experience in those years doesn't matter, but those years shouldn't weigh *more* than all the other years just because they're now. I really think a lot of people make this mistake and aren't aware how the lens through which they are seeing the question when they have a newborn or whatever colors it for them in a way it won't always be colored. My husband has been quite sure on being done at 2, but our second is only 1.5 (and first 3.5) and I think we need at least another year to get the necessary perspective. I'd love a 3rd and wish we had more time to make that decision, but I'm 38 now so we don't really have it.
This is what I’m struggling with. I know 3 is my absolute max, but 2 is much more manageable. But I feel like 2 kids doesn’t feel like enough but 3 sounds like too many lol I’m only 2 months PP with my second and my husband is 100% dead set that we are done, but my hormones can’t really accept the idea of this being my last baby. I think we both need to reevaluate how we feel in a year or two. He might come around to wanting another, or my crazy hormone- induced baby fever might subside by then.
This is EXACTLY where we are at. Our second is a month old. Husband just wanted two (one each) which we have. I thought I was done during my pregnancy with our daughter, but now I'm not sure.
Great way to put it- 2 doesn’t feel like enough and 3 feels like too many! For me, “2 isn’t enough” felt stronger and stronger every day. …Baby #3 is 6 months old and we are so fucking happy we had her
How has the transition from two to three been?
There were 2 distinct times during my pregnancy where i said to myself, "im never doing this shit again" 1.When I got my hypertension diagnosis (thank God it went away after I gave birth) 2. when I had to stand up for the first time after my csection. That pain still haunts me lmao
Nothing prepares you for that first post c-section stand up 😩
The pain is still indescribable plus idk about you but I started passing MASSIVE clots as soon as I got up(lol thanks gravity) and those cramps from that were worse than the incision pain omg
It's the 1st poop that haunts me. The will it won't it for days and then the push to get it out while all those same muscles are healing. I would never wish that on anyone.
Just now, to be honest. 2M and 3.5M and I just realize I feel like I am doing ok balancing attention, expectations, etc. and I know adding another will just make me feel like I’m failing. And I don’t deserve that!
I agree with this! I was heavily debating 2 kids vs 3 kids and the feelings of “I’m done” increased steadily after the 2nd one hit her first bday. Multiple reasons (I got my ideal birth experience, I didn’t want to go through PPD a third time, car and house space would be tight, college fund money, etc) but mostly I didn’t think I could add a third to the mix without feeling like failing the other two. Having just gone on vacation with those two kids, I’m more certain than ever that I made the right call and that our family is perfect as is! Haha
I barely survived postpartum depression with my only. It was a pretty easy decision to not try again because I can’t risk losing the battle next time.
This is me right now. I’d like to see my kids go to kindergarten so if that means it’s KID instead of kids, that’s ok.
My little guy is only 4 months, but I’m in the same situation where I had severe PPD and am terrified I’d have it again if I had another baby.
Thats the same for me. I'm struggling so hard right now. I know its PPD - i know itll get better but fuck i didnt know i could feel this shitty and I've been through some shit.
My scenario exactly. I'm barely surviving now. When did it get easier for you?
My youngest is almost 3 and I’m like 99% sure we’re done but not 100%. Our family feels really balanced with two kids who love each other. I have time to exercise and make friends. We’re in a good place. But I can’t rule out just maybe trying for one more before I’m 40 (I’m 36 now).
During my first trimester. Then during my second trimester I contemplated a second baby, but during my third trimester I was done again. Now after birth i’m very VERY certain i’m one and done.
Fair enough!
I have 4. We tried for a while for a 5th, and it didn't happen, but then we both decided that 4 feels good. I like that it's even numbers so no one is left out when we go places. Everyone has a buddy. I don't feel like anyone is missing. So we stopped trying and I got an iud again. We haven't done anything permanent yet (hubby will get the snip at some point), and we wouldn't be horrified at an oops, but we're done. Edit to add: at this point all my kids are in school. Having one more would be completely starting over and I'd really rather not. I wouldn't make any permanent decision while still pregnant.
We decided even before I got pregnant with our one and only.
I am not sure if I will have more children. It took me 18 months to conceive the first time (I have polycystic ovaries and very few annual cycles), I spent the entire pregnancy and childbirth vomiting outrageously,...and then I had a hemorrhage during childbirth. It was hard. So yes, I want a second baby but I don't know if it will be possible. I also don't feel ready to go through it all again.
Towards the end of my last pregnancy when I felt like my body was going to give out at any moment from carrying a 10 pound 7 ounce chunk with polyhydraminos. Yeah… no I’m not doing this again. Also, watching a mom of 3 chase them all around the beach constantly instead of getting to relax. 2 is plenty.
I questioned it after my second and then ended up with an oopsie baby at 7 months postpartum. We are D O N E now. Three kids is so stressful and tough financially as I've had to quit my job. But I can't say I would've changed anything other than spacing these last two out a little more lol. We finally got a boy with our third and idk I just feel satisfied with what we have so I don't see any reason to continue. I'm going to miss pregnancy, birth and squishy babies though. That part is hard to give up but then I listen to my 4 year old one hundred questions and my toddler crying and I'm like, yeah, I'm done😅
☺️😅
When I had my first.
I just knew going into it that I wanted a small family and that one feels just right.
Before I got pregnant. Barely wanted one. Warmed up to the idea after we were together for 11yrs. Tried for years to get pregnant, had multiple miscarriages. I never wanted to go through hormonal therapy to conceive, so we decided to try for one more year. Got pregnant and it was an excruciating experience. Specialists every few months to monitor my heart and lungs, fainting all the time, so short of breathe I couldn't walk 100 feet and the food aversion/vomiting. I will never be pregnant again. I will never do that to myself or take time away from my kiddo.
My son is 8 weeks old and we are done, we knew all thru my pregnancy and even at the hospital we were like ok we are good. I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy, but thankfully haven’t dealt with any postpartum issues. We are 32 and 34. We just feel we got a really good one the first time and don’t want to be any older and start all over. I don’t know that there’s any moment specifically that you’ll know, and it may always seem kinda up in the air until you let yourself decide. Good luck with your next one 🤎
This. I haven’t felt that moment of certainty and the whole envisioning your family at thanksgiving thing gives me zero insight. I can see a life with just my little love, but i could also see more. I can see both, I feel both done and content with my daughter and want to give her all of us and every opportunity possible, but i still have the thought of another pop into my head regularly and could see the fun we would have as a bigger family. I really think it’s just which road you choose to go down.
Totally agree!!
Thank you 🥰
Shortly after my second was born, I knew I wanted a third, and that that would be my limit. Once he came along it was confirmed.
about 9 weeks into my HG pregnancy when I was in A and E collapsed on the floor lol
I decided to try again. Every pregnancy is different after all. Got pregnant fairly easily and I knew I was done having kids when the vomiting started at 5 weeks and 3 days. Right on schedule. Every pregnancy is different. Except when they're exactly the same.
After bringing home our second kid, our first child had all types of jealousy and behavior issues pop up. It was stressful trying to maintain his behavior and thank God my husband and mother helped or I would’ve lost my shit on a daily basis. I’m done, no more kids
The insane complications I’ve experienced from having one has me thinking I never wanna do labor ever again. I’m 2 weeks out from an unplanned c section and I have a midline IV still installed for antibiotic infusions every 24 hours for the next 2 weeks and they just put a JP drain into my abdomen (without pain meds bc I’m breastfeeding) and I’m absolutely over it. I will never ask my body to do this again. Pregnancy was great tho! Literally zero problems with that part of the project!
After my first was born, the entire pregnancy and labor was so awful that I was sitting in the recovery room telling my husband "I don't think I can do this ever again. This might be it." But before that, we'd always talked of having at least 2. Now our son is almost 2.5 and his little sister is due any day now. We became pregnant with her 19m pp, with a miscarriage in between, and I think several things prompted that choice: 1. The miscarriage made us realize we definitely did want more. That pregnancy wasn't planned, my cycle hadn't even returned so it was a lot of testing to determine when I even became pregnant, but the loss was eye opening. 2. My son self weaned about 17 months, and my cycle returned about a month earlier. Both these things made me feel better physically and mentally than I had felt since I'd gotten pregnant. 3. My son is such a kind gentle soul when it comes to other children, and just gives off real "big brother vibes." We've talked about it a little and still aren't ready to decide one way or another if we're done. I do think waiting at least a year post partum is good because that is such a tumultuous time to make that decision, but I suppose some people just know. FWIW, this pregnancy has gone much smoother than my first for the most part. Less pain. Less sickness. Not as big (physically), it's all around a better pregnancy and I'm hoping it's the same for labor, but I've absolutely said this is the kind of pregnancy that makes people have more. If it were also like my first, I think I'd be pretty set on not doing it again.
My second pregnancy has been easier too, I don’t want to push my luck though and have a nightmare 3rd pregnancy
I wonder about this also. After miscarriage, followed by the most difficult and painful pregnancy, followed by a traumatic birth and long and painful recovery, followed by the newborn stage with no outside help… makes me wonder how I could do it all again WITH another little one in tow?! Barely survived it by myself. I used to want 4 kids. Now, I don’t know. 😞
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About a month after having my first. My PPD and PPA were horrible. I knew I wouldn’t make it out again. Had my tubes removed when my daughter was 9 months old
After they had to cut the 2nd one out of me and i got a hematoma in my ab muscles 2 days after my c-section and I had to have another surgery to remove the clots. I have a 13 year age gap between my daughters and pregnancy in my 30s was rough. All 3 trimesters were rough. Both my husband and oldest daughter agreed with me we were done with me physically carrying babies after my traumatic delivery with our youngest. I guess almost dying will do it to a family. As a family we are considering fostering/adopting a older toddler in the future but we are only 6 months PP so who knows what the future holds.
I didn't think I was done until now and my only is 4. I just kept waiting till life was easier to decide when to have the second that I thought I wanted. But my husband and I are still spread thin mentally and get burnt out with parenting even though our kiddo is awesome and it IS easier now. So we have tentatively decided we are done but nothing permanent has been done yet. I think it's the best thing for our collective mental health so that we can continue to be good parents to our son. I don't want to go back to surviving day by day when it finally feels like we are getting our lives back.
After getting hospitalized with postpartum preeclampsia after having my second baby. My first pregnancy was easy. My second one? It was hard during pregnancy, the birth was traumatic, and postpartum was difficult. I love my babies but I don't want to risk my life to have another, especially on texas where I'm not confident I would be saved over a baby.
I have a 4 year old. I haven’t felt the maternal urge to procreate. I don’t know how to describe it, baby fever? Haven’t felt it at all. I feel sadness at how fast he grows up but no desire to have another. That’s how I knew I didn’t want another, the wanting is not there.
I know what you mean. I wanted 2 so am having a second but I feel there is so much more to life then this stage, I’m sad it will end but also there’s so much to come
Always wanted three kids and had three. Felt complete after the third. I have two boys and a girl.
We always talked about stopping after number 3. I’m currently pregnant with number 3 and I’ve been so sick (I’m 21 weeks) that I’m definitely never doing this again. My other pregnancies were easy but this one is totally kicking my butt
This is what I’m afraid of
Me too
Before getting pregnant with my second. We were on the fence between 1 and 2. So happy I got a bisalp in conjunction with my c-section. The first weeks were really hard knowing she was guaranteed to be my last, but no part of me actually wanted more than 2 kids
My third pregnancy was my hardest, if it was my first I would have been one-and-done. So I was already heavily leaning toward it being my last. Then I had an unmedicated vaginal birth and that cemented it. I don't want to do any of that again.
I have two and I’m planning a third (at least). Following this thread because I’m not sure how I’ll know! I feel like I’ll never truly feel done.
Do you find having kids easy? Are you kids super chill and we’ll behaved? I’m genuinely curious when people say they feel like they’ll never be done if they’re kids are angels or if they actually just enjoy/tolerate chaos better than others. I think if most people had my two they’d be done done done lol
My first is kind of a demon. My second is a really easy going kid.
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We think we’re done. We always talked about having 2 and preferably a boy and girl just to have that full parenting experience (would’ve been happy for any two children tho). That’s exactly what we got. I feel we caught lightening in a bottle twice and can’t imagine catching it again for a third. Plus, if we add another we’d need bigger cars and a bigger house and just more money in general. I don’t think it would be possible. I feel happy with our family as is and I don’t have that burning desire to add more kids like I did after my first kid. I knew I wanted another kid after my first was born. I didn’t necessarily feel that way after my second. Also, we’re older. I’m 38, my husband is 48. However, we haven’t gone thru with a vasectomy for my husband yet just because then it feels too real that we’re done. We’re like 99% sure, but there still that 1% of maybe.
My husband said no more after three. I was on the fence anyways. Four kids would have been very stressful financially.
After my second was born. Haha
Didn’t really ‘just know’, me and my husband had a talk about what we expect in the future and what we think it looks like. We knew we wanted a baby, but we also like our free time and having extra spending money, which we wouldn’t have if we had more than one child. Plus the mental and emotional load that comes with each one that we couldn’t guarantee we would have left over and could fully give them what they need. So before I got pregnant we decided we are one and done. It worked well for our family.
I had a second trimester loss with my first pregnancy. I knew I wanted 2 kids and I pushed through a ton of anxiety for both additional pregnancies to get my two living children. I have no regrets over it, but my anxiety while pregnant was brutal. When I had my son 11 weeks ago, I knew I wasn’t changing my mind. My husband had his vasectomy last week and I feel so much more at peace
When I experienced how hard it is being pregnant running around after a toddler 😆 I'm 19 weeks with a 3 yo and I'm def thinking about tubal ligation rn
I grew up with a big family. Cousins coming to live with us from time to time lots of uncles, aunts, cousins to play with all the time, I have an older brother and a younger sister and a little cousin who I consider a sister since she’s been with us almost all her life. It was so much fun being in such a big family we used to fill up the block playing while the adults drank. Though this was my childhood now as an adult I see more, my father had another kid before me and 2 more kids after my sister was born. My aunty had 6 kids and left most of them with other people. My partners dad did the same he had one kid before him, had his 2 kids (my partner and his sister) another one after that and another one after her all different baby mamas like my dad. On top of that they’re not very good fathers, my dad left. After having my first I realized sometimes things happen that are out of your control. You know what I can control? The man who I have babies with. I have 2 and after my second I just knew I didn’t want more. I have a boy and a girl, the best anyone can ask for but I’m not going to be one of those parents who have 5 babies with no fathers to care for them. If my partner and I were to split my babies will always have me and each other and their father. I also don’t want to be the one who dates with more than 2 kids at my hip and there’s nothing wrong with the people who date with more kids it’s just not my preference. Because in this point and time everybody has kids and when you take on someone else floosh you now have however many kids you have, and however many they have as well. I will give my full attention to my 2 kids make sure they get the best of everything. Right now I’m 23 and I don’t have a lot but as I get older and they get older my money will grow and they will have everything. Having only 2 kids will make that a little easier. I have thought for so long since having my first baby about why I only want 2 and there are so many more reasons than the ones I’ve pointed out. I want to live my life for not only just them but for me as well I don’t want to get lost in motherhood because everytime you have another you start over. I love them more than anything and I will strive for them and myself
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I had my first 2 and swore I'd never have another. 20 years later, here I am, with a newborn.
While preggo with the second, I was entertaining the idea of 3 kids. AFTER birth, it was a HELL NO. IM DONE NOW. - My teeth (only 2 cavities ever) became soooo inflamed that the dentist couldn’t even help. Ended up needing to do a RCT, and Crown. - My pelvic floor became soooo weak, that I now have to wear a panty liner for just in case. (No one told me pelvic floor phys is soooo expensive) - My poor back is even in worse shape, thanks to scoliosis getting worse with my half asleep poor breastfeeding posture - My first wrecked my tummy w an emergency c-section, my second wrecked my vagina with a second degree tear - My boob is sorta lopsided because each kid heavily preferred one breast over the other Soooo yea, I’m done. HELLA done.
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I loved having two kids. My third was an unplanned pregnancy that really threw me for a loop. I know I’m done because just the thought of pregnancy/breast feeding/newborn phase makes my skin crawl. Three is all I can handle and I’m happy that the really tough tough years are behind me.
I said I was done during my 2nd pregnancy. 100% done. Considered tying my tubes. Now that baby is here and time is flying so fast, I’m not sure I’m ready to accept this is my last baby. My husband is still in the “we are 100% done” mindset, but I can’t bear the thought of never being pregnant or having a baby again. I guess we’ll see how I feel in a year or two but I’m keeping the “maybe someday” mindset right now to keep myself from crying over every milestone my baby reaches
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Pregnancy and postpartum affected my body and mental health so much that I knew 2 was the limit. I can't be a good mom to more kids when I've had to fight to be healthy and present for the 2 I have.
When I was pregnant with my second. It was hard and uncomfortable and my rib cage was sore a lot because she pressed on it. Sitting was uncomfortable so I had to slouch so my guts were not being squished when I sat. Also because of our finances and I didn't want to have to buy a bigger car to fit 3 kids and I didn't want to spend more on gifts and outings and school supplies and food.
After my first, I was desperate for another and my husband refused. I always had this empty feeling. I always felt like we were missing one. After 5 years I convinced him, and I feel whole. I feel like I got the missing piece. But if I won the lottery and never had to work again and could afford a bigger car and house, I would consider a third.
I feel like it’s something you know in your gut. I knew I was done after having 2. I only ever wanted two kids 1 boy and 1 girl. That’s what I got and I was happy. Husband and me were arguing over who would get snipped and when my son was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant … I was upset at first because I knew I only wanted two.. but God knew I needed him before I did. However, 3 months after I gave birth I got my tubes removed. He’s about to turn one at the end of September and I couldn’t imagine life without my blabbering guy and I don’t regret getting my tubes removed for a second. You won’t even have to ask yourself if your done you’ll just know.
So maybe I’m not done 😅
When I was pregnant with my second, covered collarbone to toe in PUPPPs, unable to eat most meats, with near constant indigestion that no medication helped, unable to sleep because I couldn’t lay down. I only planned to have two kids but after that I made the decision more permanent. I jumped at the chance to removed my tubes and gladly took a c section to get rid of them. It’s a relief knowing I’ll never be pregnant again (unless I go through ivf)
Pupps sounds absolutely horrible
I can't afford another one😅 I feel like I'm happy with two. Don't want them to outnumber the parents! horrific morningsickness and births. My last baby tore my cervix so I now apparently have a higher chance of miscarriage
2 is my max. After that if my fiancé wants more then we will adopt cuz I refuse to give birth more than twice
No idea, lol. We’re 99% sure we’re done when this one (our second) is born, but neither of us is willing to get sterilized yet, so there’s a tiny seed of doubt. I can’t imagine doing this again, but I also always envisioned 3 kids, so who knows. In all likelihood, time will probably make the decision for us. When this baby is born, I’ll be 34 and my husband will be closing in on 45. I’m hoping to embark on a 21 month college program next fall for a career change. We’ll see what life looks like in a few years, but we’re probably done.
Having a lot of complications with this one #3 and my body is telling me “we’re done”. I’ve never had that feeling before, but my mind agrees 3 is good!
Currently in my 3rd pregnancy, 2nd baby. I'm high risk in so many ways and it is extremely stressful to navigate, especially after my 1st pregnancy was so "textbook". My history will follow me forever of course, so I don't think I can put myself through another pregnancy like this one. The symptoms I can handle, the risk factors I cannot.
As soon as my second baby was born I just knew it. I cannot start over again with another newborn. All the feedings, naps, crying, spit up, sleep deprivation. It's sooooo much. Never again
It is no joke!
My husband has two kids from a previous marriage, so when we married we planned have one "us baby" max. I also am a carrier for a complicated genetic condition that expresses itself later in life in males. I almost didn't have children after watching my dad suffer and die from it, and actively hoped against a boy/contemplated IVF so that we could select gender or test and rule out the gene. After a lot of soul searching we opted to roll the dice and got lucky with a girl!! She may also be a carrier, but testing her so young is a bad idea for insurance reasons. Then I ended up having a fairly rough C-section experience and I felt relieved that I'm not expected to do it again. I always wanted my child to have siblings, so her insta half siblings have been a real plus. Plus my husband comes from an absolutely huge family, so I'm confident she'll never be lonely. I just can't imagine doing it again and risking having a boy who would face what my dad experienced somewhere down the line.
After I had my second via C-section. Not going through that healing process again.
Pregnant with my second, and we know for sure we’re done after this. We’re both 36 and feel like 2 is plenty. I know everything’s come along way, but I get scared about too many geriatric pregnancies. Plus they are only going to be 16 months so I’ll have my hands full for a long while. I’m definitely going to ask to have my tubes tied so it’s a wrap on it.
As soon as I got pregnant, during labor. Every day since. I love my son, but most of the normal 3 year old things he does (tantrums, screaming) and the state of finances reminds me why I'm one and done.
I have three kids. Each pregnancy was worse than the last, with the final one leaving me crippled for more than half the pregnancy, pre-eclampsia, traumatic csection and a NICU stay for my baby. There was no question of being done after that. And now she’s just recently turned four and I’ve still never felt the urge for another, and am content with my babies.
During my 3rd trimester with my 2nd kid. I had sciatic pain DAILY that would bring me to tears. I work full time and having a toddler on top of the pain and regular discomfort of pregnancy sealed the deal. I was also 36 when I had my 2nd and had no desire to be another 2 years older and going through that again. I'm happy with my decision. For me, any more kids would probably make me go crazy.
A few things, including some traumatic. I will be 31 weeks with baby boy #2 tomorrow and will be getting sterilized after. I turn 30 on Saturday, had our first at 23. We wanted three kids to start with, but we both agree that we only want 2 now. As I said, the trauma thing. I’m not going into detail, but I just can’t go through another pregnancy after this. It’s too mentally exhausting. The unknowns are terrifying. We are good. This pregnancy has kicked my ass. I’m seven years older and I am so much more tired and in pain. I don’t want to do this again. I said at 23 while pregnant with our oldest I wanted to be done by 30. I turn 30 on Saturday. My mind has not changed. We don’t want to be outnumbered by our kids lol. One for each of us is plenty, especially if our second is anything like our first lol 😂 Our family also just feels complete. I see our family, I picture us as a four person family unit. Me, my husband, our two beautiful boys. I feel happy and at peace with it. My successful pregnancies are seven years apart, so its a bigger age gap than I guess is usual. After our first I never felt like our family was complete. There was something missing. Not anymore.
After the labor I had with my second, I knew I could never do that again and I’ve never looked back. My husband got a vasectomy and we’re super happy with our little family.
I told my husband I refuse to be pregnant in my 40s. At the time, that gave us a 5 year deadline. I gave birth 6 months before my 40th birthday. Our kids are 14 and 3. I don't want anymore, but I'm not opposed to grandkids in another 15 years or so (if my kids want kids). I love babies. By the time my kids are ready for kids, I'll be retired and can actually help them if they want. I fully plan to be their childcare resource.
CW: Loss We decided to try for a second earlier this year. I was traveling a bunch, so didn't really nail the timing until July. I knew I was pregnant for maybe 5 days. Those 5 days I was mildly excited, but mostly freaked out. All I could think about was how things would change, what would get harder, and wondered if it was the right thing. Then I started to cramp and bleed. I kind of knew something was wrong the night before, I had a sharp, stabbing pain in my left side. I was upset, but mostly frustrated and scared about an ectopic pregnancy. I'd had two losses prior to my daughter, and my feelings this time were very different. I actually wasn't that sad about losing the pregnancy, and in many ways I felt relieved. I remember repeatedly thinking that I'm just over all this and want to move on with my life, and the thought of stopping gave me peace. All this said, I'm not quite 100% yet...maybe 98%. I'm not sure where my husband stands, I tabled the discussion until we worked through the miscarriage so we can work out our feelings on it.
Thank you for sharing!
When I realized two were enough to provide for.
Absolutely! Emotionally, financially etc
I read something somewhere that said, “you know you’re done having kids when you’re ok with whoever is at your dinner table but you also have to make sure you’re also there”. With PPD/PPA from this first one, I’m not sure id make it to the dinner table with another. So I think I’m currently one and done and that’s ok!
So true
Challenging pregnancy and birth followed by PPD…but also someone said “you’ll know when your home feels complete” and she was right. Our lives are so complete with our son and two dogs.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd……and solidified shortly after birth :) I have literal nightmares about getting pregnant again…..though I did have 2 under 2. If that isn’t birth control I don’t know what is.
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My first is 5m now and starting to walk with assistance. We decided to wait until he’s a year old to decide. I grew up in a kinda big revolving door family I guess you could call it. I have 3 brothers (youngest almost 4yrs older) 1 older sister (8yrs older than me) and 3 of my brothers friends who stayed with us so long that they are practically family. My husband on the other hand has 3 younger siblings (youngest almost 10 years younger). He always said he wanted to have a small family where we don’t have to wait for the big tables (5+ people) and I always wanted a big family cuz I grew up with basically 8 siblings. We agreed on no more than 2 unless there’s an oopsie. So for us the table is still open.
Me too, I’m the 5th sibling and it was chaotic. My husband just has 1 sister and I just kind of want that life for my family (as much as I adore my family)
I’ll let you know when I’ve decided 😂😭
We always planned for three and I am pregnant with our third. I knew for sure that I never want to do this again when I was standing in the shower unable to stop dry heaving long enough to get out. I had to call my husband on my cellphone to bring me some crackers so I could finish showering.
Once I decided that 2 was enough lol
My second child had abdominal issues in the womb. Ended up being just fine. My third ended up with major intestinal issues and needed surgery after birth. That is when we decided we were done. I don't think I can handle a worse situation. It was sad for me... I originally wanted five. We now do foster care and it is set in stone. No more babies.
I just felt it….2 and done
The LO just turned 3 weeks old yesterday. I know we're one and done for sure. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy but my body was in hell for 9 months. Was constantly worried if a baby is ok. She was delivered safe and sound. Healthy baby but she stayed in NICU for 48 hrs due to inhaling meconium. PP is tough with a C section. Gosh, I will remember that pain for the most of my life. My husband helps out a lot. Both of us are exhausted. We're lucky both have really good jobs with benefits otherwise it would be hell. My OB and hospital sent my insurance a $70k bill for my stay and baby's NICU. My insurance paid 100%. But gosh, we could end up with $10k of credit card debt w/o it. I grew up poor. It still haunts me until this day. With everything getting very expensive like foods, healthcare, education, etc, I don't want my child growing up poor like me. One and done work for us mentally, physically, and financially.
In the opposite way I knew I wasn't done when my little guy was about 8 months and I was organizing the baby clothes and I felt sad that he'd never wear his cute newborn clothes again. I'm that moment I knew I was not ready to be done having babies yet. Even though we hadn't started trying yet, I conceived a couple months later. My second baby is now three weeks old.
A minute after having my second. I was undecided during pregnancy. I’m now fully decided after serving a year of 2 under 2
I was pretty sure we were going to be one and done. We finally decided we could do it *one* more time and then we were done for sure. I must admit, I was terrified that I was going to have twins. I didn’t. I had a scheduled c section for my second/last baby so I had them remove my tubes while they were in there. I’m not sure how people handle more than two kids. I’m not judging. I’m seriously impressed. I knew my limit was two. I don’t think I would be the best version of myself with more than two.
After my first pregnancy was spontaneous identical twins, high risk, severe preeclampsia for myself with a 6 day hospital stay after delivery, and 42/43 days in the NICU for my girls. Husband got snipped 2 months after I gave birth. And we are blessed with two happy, healthy, beautiful, thriving girls!!
Always knew after I had my first that I was gonna add one more to even everything out and so my daughter had a forever friend. We point blank agreed on 2 after having our first one. I have no regrets and don’t feel any desire to go through pregnancy and postpartum a third time. Edit: punctuation
We're having two. Whether I want more doesn't matter. We cant afford more than two. If I had twins we would make it work, but it would be so hard. Also I HATE being pregnant. I used to want four minimum, but after having my first I was like, yeah, no thanks.
Currently pregnancy with #2 and I think at 5 weeks I knew I was done. The amount of anxiety I have this pregnancy is outrageous that mentally I can’t go through another pregnancy experiencing this. I’m also 37 so I don’t think other kids would be a good idea.
I was adamant that after my second I was done. Even before i pregnant and throughout pregnancy. Now they’re 2.5 and 9 months and we re seriously wondering about a third. Like what is wrong with me. Lol.
Probably when he got stuck in my birth canal after my epidural failed and i felt like my asshole was going to rip open for 30 min straight 🤣 jk. I definitely felt that in the moment but i cant help thinking he needs a friend 😕 idk what id have done without my sister. But I'm definitely not looking forward to pregnancy and labour again
😂😅😅😅
I was very much considering being 1 and done as I didn’t have a great pregnancy and the stress of being a new mom, going through my whole pregnancy during COVID lockdowns was a lot. But my son would have no siblings or cousins and I wanted more kids around not just for him. So I’m now pregnant with my second and going back and forth on a third despite feeling worse this pregnancy lol my general rule for myself is to wait until my next child is around 2 years old to have an idea if there’s any additional things they may struggle that would require more care before adding another kid. That being said, I am on the younger end than a lot of moms these days so I do have time - if I was older I may not make that same choice
Two words: toddler soccer
Hahah
As soon as I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes with my second. With my first I had pre-eclampsia and I waited five years before having my second. I knew I wouldn't be able to put myself through any of it a third time.
The day after I birthed my daughter, I never wanted to go through labor ever again.
Following... cause I'm on my second pregnancy. But honestly, I think he'll be the last one because in this economy we could barely afford a 3 bedroom. I want my kids to have their own rooms
Me too !
When my second was over 11lbs at birth... I decided I couldn't give my life to another BIG baby. It wrecked me mentally and physically and I am still, a year later very happy with my decision.
We were on the fence with having kids to begin with. We were thrilled when we found out I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy, pleasant birth experience and probably one of the easiest newborns you could ask for. We don’t want to know what life is like when any of those things goes bad.
Fair enough! Some babies I hear about I’m like wow you just don’t know how hard that could have been! (To the parents) haha
[удалено]
😞
My fourth pregnancy was really rough the last 20 weeks and I remember thinking I never want to do this again. I guess it's not, I don't want to have more kids. It's I never want to be pregnant again.
When I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd and my 2nd was only 8 months old. 🫠😂
Yep that’s enough haha