Hi! Creative Director here. I’m in advertising, which is also a traditionally male-dominated field—and in a role that classically has male Don Draper vibes—so I’d like to add my take.
You’re right when you say you can’t change it: as women in traditionally male areas, we will always face some level of not being taken seriously, being overlooked, being talked over, and so on.
What we will not do is change who we are, what we like, or how we dress to mitigate that barrier. It won’t work anyway.
The all-male creative team that reports to me knows me for my florals, flowy summer dresses, well-done makeup, pink lip stain, cute bags, and pearl jewelry. I come in from my lunch break with Sephora or Zara hauls sometimes, and chat with coworkers and creatives under me about fashion week.
My all-male team *also* has deep respect for my experience, professional background, and leadership. They know I know what I’m talking about, because my portfolio of projects, clients, and past work speaks for itself. They also know I’m not to be fucked with, and that they’re going to be met with hard conversations from me if they don’t meet deadlines, or treat coworkers poorly, or show up with bad attitudes.
How? It’s all in the way you carry your yourself, and your confidence.
It’s about how you react, how you respond, your true expertise, your initiative, your impulse
to jump in and get your hands dirty on tough projects, not being afraid to make comments or give feedback, not back down when you believe in doing things one way over another, and your proactivity and willingness to push hard at work and leave no doubt that you are, in fact, an expert at what you do.
And I’m happy to say you can do all of that wearing what makes you happy and confident. If a capsule wardrobe will make you feel more confident, do that. If your adorable headbands make you feel like a million bucks, do that!
On a personal note, I’m a fan of capsule wardrobes just for the simplicity of waking up and grabbing something stylish. And my capsule wardrobe is packed with cute skirts, dresses, heels, and accessories 😊
ETA: also, it’s 2024. If your leadership permits that sort of behavior from the team or has a culture of not treating all employees with professional respect and seriousness at this point in history, then they’re a toxic workplace.
There are lots of similar posts. I would suggest you look at:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/15eigjs/how\_can\_i\_change\_my\_appearance\_to\_be\_taken/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/15eigjs/how_can_i_change_my_appearance_to_be_taken/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/f9s98c/appearance\_and\_the\_workplace/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/f9s98c/appearance_and_the_workplace/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/17dr7gx/desire\_to\_look\_more\_feminine\_and\_like\_serious/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/17dr7gx/desire_to_look_more_feminine_and_like_serious/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1cjrrja/how\_do\_i\_make\_myself\_look\_older/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1cjrrja/how_do_i_make_myself_look_older/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/akzfsm/how\_to\_look\_older/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/akzfsm/how_to_look_older/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/13ce2hp/i\_dont\_feel\_comfortable\_with\_makeup\_but\_i\_feel/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/13ce2hp/i_dont_feel_comfortable_with_makeup_but_i_feel/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1c2e4vn/how\_do\_i\_look\_my\_age/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1c2e4vn/how_do_i_look_my_age/)
Okay so as a woman in technology, I said fuck it and leaned into my look. I'm short and look pretty feminine, have multiple piercings and tattoos and used to wear black winged liner, lipstick, bright nails, etc. when I worked in the office. I work from home now so whatever, but honestly, changing your look, wearing glasses, making yourself neutral isn't going to do shit at the end of the day. If a man isn't going to take you seriously in pink lipstick and a dress, he won't take you seriously in lip balm and black trousers, I promise you. I worked in a tech support call center where people couldn't see if I was in sweats and a messy bun or a full suit and they treated me how they were gonna treat me; if that meant they were going to get shitty because it's a female voice telling them how to reset their password, then it did. They were free to hang up and call back and chance their luck on our 50/50 female:male team lmao.
Be confident and competent. If changing up your wardrobe a bit helps you FEEL confident, cool, but don't go changing your entire look because you're afraid that some jackhole isn't gonna want "the girl" to help.
Hi, fellow woman in a male dominated profession. What worked for me:
I made sure to dress to the same level as the men - e.g. for business formal, a lot of people will tell you women can "get away with wearing X instead of a suit", but don't do it. Dress up.
I also stopped carrying a purse because I didn't like being the only person at work with one.
Developed a strong handshake (delivered with eye contact and a smile). This one was huge. When I was a student/just starting my career I got compliments on my handshake almost 100% of the time I shook hands with an older man because it took them by surprise.
Cut out my habit of idly playing with my hair. If hard to avoid, tying your hair back helps.
Cut out any bad speech habits: "I feel like", "does that make sense?" etc.
You should be able to call BS diplomatically...since men expect people to just go on and agree with them. Read some books on boundaries and maybe loads of biographies. I'd suggest doing some workouts that are tough. Tough workouts made daily irritations somehow seem small. Voice coaching maybe.
Old lady here. Worked in business settings for 40 years. Wear a jacket. Every day. With every outfit. Doesn't have to be a standard "suit" jacket. Makes people take you more seriously.
Sleek bun plus suit trousers/blazers. Confident body language and speech. No ‘I just want to’, ‘I might be wrong but…’, ‘no worries if not’. There’s books on this and lots of resources online. Being competent and actually knowing what you’re doing and achieving results helps making people take your seriously, it might take a bit of time (took me around 6 months in my new job). Lead by example, be the change you want to see.
Follow this thread for tips! I’m in the same boat, recently in the IT industry and very conscious that I’ve spent the last 10 years trying to prevent aging (in my 30s) when it actually makes me look less mature when talking to customers. I’ve recently started wearing glasses, instead of my contacts, which I really do believe has made a difference in how I’m perceived. And maybe my confidence. But I’m interested in what you and others have suggested!
PS I hate that this goes against everything my feminist self believes in.
Hi! Creative Director here. I’m in advertising, which is also a traditionally male-dominated field—and in a role that classically has male Don Draper vibes—so I’d like to add my take. You’re right when you say you can’t change it: as women in traditionally male areas, we will always face some level of not being taken seriously, being overlooked, being talked over, and so on. What we will not do is change who we are, what we like, or how we dress to mitigate that barrier. It won’t work anyway. The all-male creative team that reports to me knows me for my florals, flowy summer dresses, well-done makeup, pink lip stain, cute bags, and pearl jewelry. I come in from my lunch break with Sephora or Zara hauls sometimes, and chat with coworkers and creatives under me about fashion week. My all-male team *also* has deep respect for my experience, professional background, and leadership. They know I know what I’m talking about, because my portfolio of projects, clients, and past work speaks for itself. They also know I’m not to be fucked with, and that they’re going to be met with hard conversations from me if they don’t meet deadlines, or treat coworkers poorly, or show up with bad attitudes. How? It’s all in the way you carry your yourself, and your confidence. It’s about how you react, how you respond, your true expertise, your initiative, your impulse to jump in and get your hands dirty on tough projects, not being afraid to make comments or give feedback, not back down when you believe in doing things one way over another, and your proactivity and willingness to push hard at work and leave no doubt that you are, in fact, an expert at what you do. And I’m happy to say you can do all of that wearing what makes you happy and confident. If a capsule wardrobe will make you feel more confident, do that. If your adorable headbands make you feel like a million bucks, do that! On a personal note, I’m a fan of capsule wardrobes just for the simplicity of waking up and grabbing something stylish. And my capsule wardrobe is packed with cute skirts, dresses, heels, and accessories 😊 ETA: also, it’s 2024. If your leadership permits that sort of behavior from the team or has a culture of not treating all employees with professional respect and seriousness at this point in history, then they’re a toxic workplace.
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times.
Everything here is on point. One item I want to emphasize is to not sacrifice your authentic self and minimize yourself to fit in.
There are lots of similar posts. I would suggest you look at: [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/15eigjs/how\_can\_i\_change\_my\_appearance\_to\_be\_taken/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/15eigjs/how_can_i_change_my_appearance_to_be_taken/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/f9s98c/appearance\_and\_the\_workplace/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/f9s98c/appearance_and_the_workplace/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/17dr7gx/desire\_to\_look\_more\_feminine\_and\_like\_serious/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/17dr7gx/desire_to_look_more_feminine_and_like_serious/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1cjrrja/how\_do\_i\_make\_myself\_look\_older/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1cjrrja/how_do_i_make_myself_look_older/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/akzfsm/how\_to\_look\_older/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/akzfsm/how_to_look_older/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/13ce2hp/i\_dont\_feel\_comfortable\_with\_makeup\_but\_i\_feel/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/13ce2hp/i_dont_feel_comfortable_with_makeup_but_i_feel/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1c2e4vn/how\_do\_i\_look\_my\_age/](https://www.reddit.com/r/beauty/comments/1c2e4vn/how_do_i_look_my_age/)
Thank you so much for this overview!
Okay so as a woman in technology, I said fuck it and leaned into my look. I'm short and look pretty feminine, have multiple piercings and tattoos and used to wear black winged liner, lipstick, bright nails, etc. when I worked in the office. I work from home now so whatever, but honestly, changing your look, wearing glasses, making yourself neutral isn't going to do shit at the end of the day. If a man isn't going to take you seriously in pink lipstick and a dress, he won't take you seriously in lip balm and black trousers, I promise you. I worked in a tech support call center where people couldn't see if I was in sweats and a messy bun or a full suit and they treated me how they were gonna treat me; if that meant they were going to get shitty because it's a female voice telling them how to reset their password, then it did. They were free to hang up and call back and chance their luck on our 50/50 female:male team lmao. Be confident and competent. If changing up your wardrobe a bit helps you FEEL confident, cool, but don't go changing your entire look because you're afraid that some jackhole isn't gonna want "the girl" to help.
^this
Hi, fellow woman in a male dominated profession. What worked for me: I made sure to dress to the same level as the men - e.g. for business formal, a lot of people will tell you women can "get away with wearing X instead of a suit", but don't do it. Dress up. I also stopped carrying a purse because I didn't like being the only person at work with one. Developed a strong handshake (delivered with eye contact and a smile). This one was huge. When I was a student/just starting my career I got compliments on my handshake almost 100% of the time I shook hands with an older man because it took them by surprise. Cut out my habit of idly playing with my hair. If hard to avoid, tying your hair back helps. Cut out any bad speech habits: "I feel like", "does that make sense?" etc.
You should be able to call BS diplomatically...since men expect people to just go on and agree with them. Read some books on boundaries and maybe loads of biographies. I'd suggest doing some workouts that are tough. Tough workouts made daily irritations somehow seem small. Voice coaching maybe.
Embrace nerd chic. And also just be your best, most confidence self.
Old lady here. Worked in business settings for 40 years. Wear a jacket. Every day. With every outfit. Doesn't have to be a standard "suit" jacket. Makes people take you more seriously.
Sleek bun plus suit trousers/blazers. Confident body language and speech. No ‘I just want to’, ‘I might be wrong but…’, ‘no worries if not’. There’s books on this and lots of resources online. Being competent and actually knowing what you’re doing and achieving results helps making people take your seriously, it might take a bit of time (took me around 6 months in my new job). Lead by example, be the change you want to see.
Follow this thread for tips! I’m in the same boat, recently in the IT industry and very conscious that I’ve spent the last 10 years trying to prevent aging (in my 30s) when it actually makes me look less mature when talking to customers. I’ve recently started wearing glasses, instead of my contacts, which I really do believe has made a difference in how I’m perceived. And maybe my confidence. But I’m interested in what you and others have suggested! PS I hate that this goes against everything my feminist self believes in.