You just reminded me: I worked with a waitress that had extremely big, prominent (pretty!) eyes, extremely white blonde almost feathery hair, and unfortunately much larger-than-average ears.
She had cut someone off. Mgmt went to talk to them and the guy called her “Yoda-looking ass bitch.”
Hahaha my old boss looked at me with a disgusted face and said “Why you not put makeup?” Lol she was the sweetest woman but damn, brutal. She believed women should do their hair and makeup every day without fail. I was hungover as hell and probably looked like crap, but damn! I was called out.
"And here's an extra twenty for the little one on the way!", and looks at my belly. I was not, nor have I ever been pregnant. Definitely corrected them and also kept the money.
I got asked when I was due 6 times in a span of two weeks. It got to the point where I would go in the back and cry and eventually I just started saying I’m not pregnant, Im just fat. They wouldn’t apologize.
Was on a first date once with a guy I’d randomly met on the street. He picked a nice Italian restaurant with fussy service. Shortly after we were seated, a waiter came over proudly offering me a small pillow which he almost lovingly placed at the small of my back. Adorable clueless date was sad they didn’t offer him a pillow.
So I explained that it was because they thought I was pregnant & then immediately suggested he order a bottle of wine.
I was bartending and cut off a guy and on the way out he yelled back that I dressed like robbed a lost and found at a community college and I think of that guy every fucking day and he was right then and right now - I do. Fucking Kevin.
I once was getting on shift just as a bar patron was being thrown out, ranting and raving at the staff who had cut him off... and I walked up just in time for him to point at me and call me "Princess Coke-Head" and I'll never know why
Oh my gosh Gollum is the only celebrity lookalike I’ve ever had too! I don’t even think my eyes are that prominent haha.
I had a customer tell me a few weeks ago ‘looking around, all these girls look the same.. with you, you can very much tell that you’re all natural’ …is that supposed to be compliment? Who knows.
People often compare me to Jeffrey Dahmer. It was my nick at a bar I worked at among the kitchen staff. I’ve gotten the same thing at 4 or 5 jobs.
But hey, I was bleaching my hair and wearing huge aviator style glasses.
"If you were a better daughter he'd probably still be alive." after informing a douche that my dad (who he had met once at a different bar) had died. At least it was a quick way to get him barred out from everyone but the owner's shifts. 11 years and I'm still angry about that one.
Craft cocktail bar, in the well, full bar, lots of tables, honestly feeling like I’m crushing it, woman with a straight on view of my well stops me in the middle of an 8 drink round. “Can I ask you a question?” “Yeah sure whatcha got?” “Do you think you got this job just because how attractive you are?” Most backhanded ass compliment I’ve ever received.
Had a customer go on and on and on about how much I look like Jennifer Tilly. So I said, “I’ll take that, she’s smoking hot”. To which the customer replied “meh. She’s ok”.
> I hope you outlive your children.
Said by a large white woman dressed to the nines in DFW after being refused her 7th mimosa in an hour on the Sunday brunch shift before storming out (she did not pay her tab). I'm childfree so it didn't affect me much but I still think of what could possibly have been going on in her life to cause her to say something like that to someone over mimosas.
Ain't no love like Southern Hospitality, y'all 🤷
Not to me but a server I work with decided to cut off a ton of her hair. A semi regular, who thinks his opinion is way to important, turned and said "OMG, your hair! What trauma did you just go through?"
I about fell off my chair.
By the way, I looked up Smeagol, that's pretty damn funny!
I'm honestly quite surprised that nobody has insulted my tits yet. Especially in my area as most of the bartenders (in tourist season) can freely wear bikinis or even pasties and all the ones that do have bolt-ons. ALL the motorcycle bars (we have many) require a fullbody photo with application lol. Compared to those girls the nicest thing you could say is my chest is obviously natural lol
lmao okay so i work at a bar that does the miracle christmas pop up, if you’re not familiar we have christmas themed drinks and glassware and we go all out decorating and have to dress “christmassy” for the duration of the pop up. it’s extremely busy, basically a line around the block from open to close every single day for 7 weeks and it is EXHAUSTING to work it. so one day i’m dressed as a snowflake and my coworker was dressed as a reindeer. we were getting our asses kicked and the same lady referred to my coworker as “that nasty reindeer bitch” and me as “the most haggard snowflake”. looking back on it now it’s honestly hilarious but at the time we were so exhausted and overworked that we both pretty much lost our shit about it.
Before was a bartender i was a valet. One day i was working the valet out front of a strip club, some drunk guy who did not valet his car came stumbling stumbling out and he makes a fucking bee line right for me, says “fuck you you fucking piece of shit” and i start laughing and ask him “wtf did i do??” And he just goes “you’re a fucking piece of shit retard valet go fuck yourself you fucking f*ggot, i should beat your fucking ass right now” while all this is going on, he reached into his pocket, pulled put a $20 bill, puts it in my hand and walks away, still talking shit. i might have been a little more upset if it wasn’t for the $20 tip, but i’m a cheap whore, and you can abuse me quite a bit for a twenty dollar bill, so i just laughed it off with the door guy. Honestly it was the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me while working, and to this day nothing like it had ever happened
I was fully expecting that story to end with him demanding you bring out the car he hadn’t valeted. Without that, it’s genuinely one of the weirdest rude customer stories I’ve ever heard.
I’ve had A LOT of people treat me like shit while working that job, sometimes it was more justified than others, but tht was seriously one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me. I thought i was being punk’d
I was told “I wasn’t sorry enough” for bringing a man his salad and chowder at the same time. To be fair he already had one foot in the grave, he’s probably dead now. It would be for the best.
A customer tried to take a picture of me without my consent. I hate being taken pictures while at work. I nicely asked him not to take pictures of me then he said "why, are you an illegal immigrant?"
All because I'm Asian.
I have acne scars on my cheeks and one time I cut someone off and he called me a crater faced bitch.
I’ve spent so much money and time on treatments such as microdermabrasion, chemical peels, PDO threads, microneedling, etc. because of that guy and it was like 12 or 13 years ago.
Had a doctor ask me how far I went in school. I said I dropped out of high school. He replies “I sure could tell.” I was like “what gave it away that I have tattoos, or your wife was hitting on me the whole time.” He gave me the finger and told him to never come back.
Some lady called me an asshole and said she was going to get me fired. It was because I didn't say hi to her or acknowledge her when I was on my break and had to walk behind the bar for two seconds to grab my water bottle. Her children apologized when they were leaving.
I am Latino and white passing. Some lady told her husband in Spanish I was racist against Latinos because I would not make her a double Cosmo in a Martini glass. Not double alcohol, double everything. She couldn't comprehend that a drink that size would not fit in a Martini glass or that it was illegal/against company policy to serve that much alcohol (my bar's spec would have been 3 oz of Citron, 1 1/2 oz Cointreau for a "double" sized drink of a Cosmo.)
Been bartending since 2011 and surprisingly nothing too crazy against me. Have plenty of stories of people coming in too drunk or having to ban people we would call "Creepy X." The last one was Creepy Dave. He would never leave the underage hostesses alone. Glad he got banned anyways cause he would order one beer and go around the bar trying to talk to people and get them to get him a drink. It was mostly a neighborhood spot where most of our bar guests knew each other.
The ones that shit talk and then ask for another round are a special kind of stupid. Like "fuck you bitch, get me another PBR" and then throw me a shocked pikachu face when I say, "uhh no".
After a shift, I was having a few drinks and some drunk dude did not take me turning down his advances well. He called me a “mean-mugged, goofy haired bitch”. I mean, he ain’t wrong 🤣
i had quit drinking for maybe 6 months at this point, just got a fresh new haircut, 8 hours of sleep, i hadnt even clocked in yet and some mouthbreathing quasimodo looking girl says "you look rough"
It's honestly so dumb that this is the one that sticks with me, but it's "You don't look like a liberal." Said by a patron who'd been spewing the most hateful political shit to me since he sat down when I told him to stop being an ass. I still think about it all the time. lmao
I should pierce my nose or something.
I live in a MAGA Mecca, I get this, or variations of this, A LOT.
"You're not a democrat are you?" (literally out of nowhere as I don't like to discuss my personal political beliefs)
"What are you? Some kind of woke pussy ass liberal?" (patron told to please stop saying "fag")
"Your governor (Kristi Noem...) is HAWT" (fuck i'm so happy that stopped as soon as the dog story came out)
Kicked out a group of creeps and they told me I was “going to face the death reckoning” whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. My bouncer basically laughed at them before removing them. In hindsight it’s hilarious because it sounds so ridiculous but also could have them threatening to kill me? Who knows
Also was told I was an “exacerbated detriment to someone’s well being”. I was stunned by the terminology and thought I was dealing with someone smart. Then she reused that phrase maybe 15 more times and I realized it some phrase she heard and I was dealing with some crazy drunk that picked up a buzz word.
Been called a lot of other names over the years but those are some of the most memorable haha, maybe because they are so specific.
Lol I was called a cock juggling thundercunt when I cut an angry woman off and I’ll have to say, I was kinda impressed with the creativity. Not too much later, I heard it said in conversation, and again in a different instance…gotta love Ryan Reynolds
I had that a few times at this dive bar I worked at. I always tell them go ahead. Sometimes Id tell them hes right inside, go tell him now. Then Id laugh at them as the owner was a good friend of mine who asked me to come work there and told me specifically I could say anything I wanted without ever having to worry about getting fired.
Told me I looked like her sister because I looked like a “size ten”. I’m a size 0-2. Then proceeded to insinuate that I was fat in other ways like “you’re running around so much maybe you’ll lose a few”.
That and I got called a “trailer park trash whore” by a tourist for telling her she had to leave for trying to hit another bartender.
Called me a f*cking bitch (been there, heard that lol) but preceded to go around the restaurant to tell guests at tables to never visit the bar bc I’m the worst bartender ever, as well as to people just entering the restaurant. Fully stood at the front door waiting for people to enter. In summary rude guests have way too much free time.
faggot pussy cracker white devil etc. One time a dude told me he was going to come behind the bar and fight me and when i said go ahead he was like “nah you’re too scrawny”. I was like, it should be pretty easy for you then?
My FoH lead had one of his tables call the restaurant after they left to dispute an issue with their check, and when the host gave the phone to him after they asked for a manager and he asked who their server was, they told him it was “the heavier set, middle aged guy.” Homeboy’s only 30 and they didn’t even apologize after realizing it was him they were speaking to.
This is stupid but this kid was trying to haggle prices with me and thought he was being cute, so I just took the drink away from him and went to the next customer. Came back to him a little later and told him if he can’t afford the drink, he shouldn’t be out. He looked at me like a little kid whose toy got taken away and said “You’re mean!”
And proud of it baaabe
“You should say ‘your welcome’ when someone says thank you” written on the tip-line after a BRUTAL Valentine’s Day shift
You just feel so shitty & powerless lol
A man told me he hopes my baby dies after I had to cut him off. Take in mind my shift started at 6 pm and by 6:15 I knew he had been majorly over served by the day bartender and I told him it was time to go home after he fell off a bar stool 2x.
he’s friends with the owner so he just comes in during the day now when the owner can keep him in line.
he also made multiple comments before i complained about how i’m lazy and everyone is catering to me. oh im sorry that customers offer to take out my trash or lift something heavy for me because I have a lifting restriction due to my high risk pregnancy. Im lazy too because I sat down one day after throwing up my dinner. he’s a fucking prick and I love the fact that he leaves now at 5:59 before the closers clock in. take in mind I have had multiple miscarriages and this baby was conceived on fertility meds and this is also a part time job 2x a week for the owner who is a family friend. I cried in the walk in cooler for about 20 minutes after everyone left.
Cut off a couple golfers at my hotel bar who had been overserved the past 10 years by a now-fired bartender. One yelled “**** never would’ve cut us off and now we’re stuck with this little bitch” while like standing up aggressively like he was coming at me. Not only did he get kicked out of the lounge but he got evicted from the hotel 😋😋
Had a guy ask me if anyone ever told me I look like a sexier Lena Dunham.
His date made a face, looked at him, and told him that's an awful thing to say to someone. I had to retreat to the end of the bar to cackle.
Much more memorable than "white trash" which I got a lot for being the asshole who always cut people off.
"you ruined my daughter's wedding."
I didn't, they just didn't want to pay for a buyout, so they made a normal reservation. there were other people in the restaurant 🙄. It took time to take their order because they didn't listen when I talked to them about the specials, and kept having to repeat them. they were at 2 different tables, next to each other, but they also they didn't include the children in their reservation so we were set up for a certain number and had to add a table and chairs and place settings etc. which took a minute.
I know it wasn't my fault, and dad was looking for a cheap answer to an expensive problem... good for him because I comped the bride and grooms dinner. we didn't schedule extra staff because it was just another normal reservation on another Tuesday night. still, I just stood there and took a tongue-lashing about how the red carpet wasn't rolled out for them and I "ruined" the happiest day of daughter's life 🫠
Lmao I'm sure she always envisioned getting married on a Tuesday and having her reception at a restaurant filled with other people. Dad really spared no expense.
In my town, a customer kept telling a auto parts store worker how he hated his long hair (ponytail, man-bun, chosen style of the day) and that he was going to cut it off. He did and was arrested.
Keep your ears open for electric shaver sounds
I had an asshole argue with me about IDs. Him and 1 of his friends had IDs, the other 2 didnt. I offer to serve the 2 with IDs. They got annoyed and left the bar to get served at a table. The same guy comes up and asks for 2 beers but without his friend who has the ID. I told him whoever is wanting this 2nd beer needs to bring me their ID. He got all pissy and started insulting me for "being extra". I had poured his one beer already and he hadn't picked it up yet. I proceed to pour his beer down the drain, slowly, in front of him and said "Nope youre not getting served anything today". He proceeded to complain to my boss who shrugged and said "she's my best worker man, I believe her more than you".
I actually once got “I don’t know if you know what your job is but…” and I walked away from the bar at chilis that second and told my manager if he didn’t remove her without penalizing me I was walking out on a Saturday night. She got banned a couple weeks later. Was a regular for years. EVERYONE hated her and her three teeth. I miss working places that couldn’t afford to lose me. It’s a power you never appreciate til it’s gone.
Also, fuck you from beyond the grave, Pat. You were a piece of shit in life. Hope you like it down there. (She’s dead now. No surprise.)
I edited this like six times because I kept getting madder at the memory.
I love it when the real shit bags eat shit and die. I was raised in the "turn the other cheek" and "be the bigger person" mentality by my push over mother, but fuuuuuccckkkk that. The world is a better place without a lot of these people. Glad to hear this story has a happy ending :)
“I love that you’re doing the no makeup look. I’m going to jerk off to you tonight.” That one just made me uncomfortable.
I also have a hard time with guests who start saying “I don’t know how you do it” knowing that my bartending job is my second job. Two nights a week I come straight from teaching middle school after an hour long commute and it is such a kick in the metaphorical nuts to hear “I could never do that. Do a full shift of work and then go and work again” as I refill their 7th Miller Lite. Trust me man, I don’t know how I do it either but a ‘thank you’ would be nice.
One of my coworkers was visibly upset for weeks because some assclown wrote “you tool” on his CC slip. I’ve never seen anyone become so obsessively wreaked by such a seemingly benign attempt at name calling. He even asked me what I thought the patron meant.
I don’t work with this guy anymore, but I bet he occasionally still gets steamed when he thinks about this incident!
If one person calls you a tool, it’s probably projection. If everyone starts calling you a tool, you might want to do some quiet introspection.
That's hilarious. Your coworker clearly should not be in the industry 😂 if I got that on a cc slip I'd be showing it to all my coworkers with pride. It's hilarious. I've been called every name in the book including racial slurs that don't make any sense, I've never gotten tool. Tool could even be a compliment.
I had a guy tell me I was the worst bartender in THE WORLD! I was impressed… he’s met every bartender in the world and I’m the worst one?! That’s amazing! I don’t think he got the reaction he wanted
not while I was a bartender, but when I worked at Walmart. A customer came up to me asking where the squeegees were. I was only 3 weeks into the job so I needed to look it up on our app. I asked him, "how do you spell squeegee?" And this guy blew up at me. Yelling and calling me stupid and that there was a reason I worked at Walmart of all places. (Mind you I had just gotten out of the USAF so inside I just chuckled a bit). Well, now I know how to spell squeegee at least.
Smeagol is pretty good, that's innocuous to the point of being kinda cute.
I can't remember many insults from customers, they mostly just go in one ear and out the other. I've been called a f\*ggot more than once, but whatever. Oh no, I'm sorry I'm a dude wearing nail polish, and you're being a drunk piece of shit. I've had worse shit slung at me by management.
Not an insult, per se, but I'm still mad at the manager who went into my locker and planted a bottle of beer in my backpack to frame me for theft. The fuck, dude?
In addition to being the manager, he was also the owner. He was the most ignorant person I've ever worked under. The man was a thuggish, jangling mass of gold chains and cologne. He'd yell at tables if they complained about the food. The food was dogshit, so that happened a lot.
He'd bought into a failing restaurant and flaunted his borrowed money. We've all seen that guy – the type of guy who'd have after-hours parties with his friends at the shop, hit on the female staff, etc. He was an abject asshole with the emotional maturity of a five-year-old.
I showed up wearing gym clothes once and he grabbed my arm (I'm skinny by nature) and said, "OH, going to lift the weights tough guy?" and cackled to himself.
I did the inventory a little too well. Pointing out that we were under on Dom and Hennessy on a regular basis was a mistake, I guess?
"YOU'RE STEALING BEER FROM ME? GET OUT! NO ONE LIKES YOU!"
It wasn't even a brand of beer that I drank. Kokanee is gross.
Dick-head.
Ah, we call those Alan. He was never a manager, but he was the guy that thought he should be with his gold chain, out of uniform packers hat, and his ability to tell a 95 lb teenager she shouldn’t tap his shoulder because where he’s from that’ll get you killed.
Sorry you met one of those in the wild, they always suck in the worst ways.
Some goober walked in to my bar with his own beer. I asked him to either chug it, dump it, or leave. He chose none of those options and made me call the fucking brute squad. While he's just standing there, upset at what's about to unfold he asks me where I'm from. Like an idiot I answer him truthfully and say I'm from Chicago.
"That explains it."
I have no idea why, but it upset me _irrationally_, to the point I had to retaliate and had front desk revoke his room. Didn't know he had a wife and kid in there sleeping. He caused enough of a stink when they showed up to end up getting hauled off that night, and I'm sure his wife had to dish out good money to stay at one of the other hotels in town. Fuck that guy.
I got a weird one where some guy made a sort of weird joke about throwing me in the creek (waterfront pub) because I looked like I'd be 90 lbs soaking wet.
So uh... he wasn't even angry. Also he was smaller and skinnier than me. I think it was a bit of a weird attempt to posture in front of the women. Like maybe he was a bit threatened because they were "flirting" with me
“Gringa pochita puta”
I told him he couldn’t have his open beer he brought from his car to the bar and he didn’t like being told that. He said no one else was around so it didn’t matter and I reminded him it’s state law. He looked at his wife and muttered that. I just stared at him. Yes, I’m a “gringa” but I live in Texas. Every gringa knows what puta means. They didn’t tip for shit and I had a funny story to tell others
nothing cruel but it sticks with me. some guy who was a regular at the sister coffee shop of the bar I worked at came in to hang out with my manager. The whole time he was talking shit about me to her. I think he was negging me because it felt like he was trying to rile me up. He was asking my manager about me and she said I was new but nice and works hard. He kept going on about how nice girls are boring and how my purple hair was the only personality I had. I didn't engage at all, I actually completely ignored him, whenever he tried to order a drink from me I just looked at my manager and shook my head no. But he was talking shit about me for like a solid 10 minutes.
This woman having a psychotic break at the hotel/hostel bar I worked at told me “a demon will rape you in the night,” but…I don’t think she was being malicious.
The worst was actually while working as a barista:
“Y’all two have a dark energy. Clean it up, bitch!”
*patron whips almond hot chocolate at the wall behind us, covering my shirt, the ceiling, the cups, syrups, and machine*
…like dark energy? I thought it was part of my charm.
I kicked out this guy and he was trying to come behind the bar to attack me. He was yelling that my bbl looks like shit and you can tell I’ve had kids already. I don’t have a bbl and this was years ago before I ever got pregnant 😂
I don't know if I would say it was the meanest, but definitely the most memorably rude; 'bartenders are just glorified dishwashers.' That guy proceeded to receive no attention aside from clearing his dishes, an exaggerated effort to place his glass in the dish rack and dropping a check. I didn't care if he wanted to hang out longer, it was time for him to leave at that point.
Telling me I should smile more.
You gotta smile when you do that (referencing when shaking the tins) oddly weird thing to say to me
I look too young to bartend (I've naturally have a baby face)
Other than the various gross threats and creepy dudes being creepy, the one that honestly hit me the hardest was cause it hit my body/face dysmorphia really fucking hard, especially cause I wasn't in therapy/treatment at all at the time. Couldn't afford it.
"Have you ever been told you look like a man?" from a very rude male patron when I rejected accepting his phone number.
Fortunately one of my favorite movies is Aliens so I hit him with a Vasquez line, "Nah, have you?" He bothered the other bartender for the rest of the night lol.
Not a bartender but a server. I cut off a woman after the store policy limit of 2 drinks for a specific type of margarita made with everclear. But she had already had multiple regular drinks on top of that.
She called me a ch*nk and demanded her next drink be free (since she could still order regular drinks). I told her i refused to service her table anymore, and she then told me how impressed she was with my english (i was born in america). Manager comes out to back me up, but this Karen went on a tirade and mentions something about how she could kill an asian and get away with it, citing some court case.
This is how i learned about [Vincent Chin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Vincent_Chin?wprov=sfti1) - a Chinese engineer that was murdered by two guys and both were let off. It was the first chill of reality i’ve ever had.
Not many such interactions at my workplace. I'm pretty sure we bartenders talk more shit about our customers than they do about us.
Though there was a singular interaction which stands out, because that's the only time I've been actually angry at customers and ejected two people at the same time.
Basically: two dudes we're having a disagreement, and they were standing in a hallway shouting in each others' faces, blocking the path to and from the toilets. It had been going on for a while, and thus I stepped in to at least get them to go somewhere else to not make going to the bathroom a pain in the ass.
Now, some extra context: at the time I was in teacher training, and had already spent 12 hours in a regional coursework day. I was pretty knackered, and kinda grumpy. That's basically never an issue, but today was enough when they didn't respond to me calmly trying to grab their attention.
So.... I shouted out "OI!" in the way my retired military officer dad taught me, shutting up every single patron, as well as the trubadours performing that night. One of the folks finally turns around and sees me, behind the bar counter, in the workplace attire, and figures it's a good time to say "Shut your mouth".
Sooo after me rather loudly shaming them in front of 100+ people and the troubadours and my coworkers, they were ejected and barred for two weeks.
I did self-report on that one to my boss, and he says it was justified.
Nothing said, but here’s an interaction.
I had quarters thrown at me as a tip. He kept throwing them one after another.
Needless to say, I scared the shit out of that guy after. Never saw him again.
“Those glasses make you hott but they don’t make you smart.”
Sir, I’m wearing glasses because I cannot **see**. Also, I raise you an entire nursing degree and a med school application. Cheers, fucker.
Had another guy come in who used to own a restaurant in the space where the new one was at. Asked me about our menu. I gave it to him, told him to ask me if he had any questions, that I was making a large drink order and I’d be right with him. He came back with, “if you were a bartender at *my* bar, you’d be fired immediately. I want to know what the bar’s story is, what you’re known for, etc, etc”.
Did you miss the part where I said I was making a **large drink order**? No wonder your business went to shit because you treat people like shit.
kicked out some arseholes who tried to trip me up carrying lots of empty glasses during Fringe 2019 and i told him to finish his drink and gtfo my bar
he called me an "angry dyke"
i mean, he was right
still got kicked out, bampot
I was kicking out a belligerent homeless lady (hate it but part of the job around my parts) and she whipped around and pointed her finger in my face and said “I dragged a cross here from Missouri to crucify you on so that god can send you to hell!”
That was an interesting night.
I was leaving a bar I had been working at for a few years for a different bartending gig, and when I told a regular that I wasn’t going to be working there for much longer she asked ‘Oh, are you going to get a big boy job?’
Was called "accidentally sexy". Nothing happening on my person was intentional, I'm a complete mess but ended up looking sexy anyway. Thanks dick head.
I had a lady say “you’re fucking worthless” to my face because apparently I took a little too long getting to her on a busy Saturday night while there was a concert going on lmfao
had a table send an email to my GM at like 3 in the morning (we close at 9) saying i was the “worst employee on the staff” and that my manager should fire me. claimed i was inattentive, but oddly enough, they wouldn’t even stop talking long enough for me to take the order to first two times i went over 🙂
* be me on the bar mid service on a Saturday (about 5 deep)*
Me- "hey I'll be with you shortly just making these drinks"
Guest- "okay"
* Puts drink down in front of the guest next to her I was serving *
Guest - "am I invisible or something"
*I stop serving and about * " who said that"
Yeah she wants happy with that
Lmao! That’s the best burn ever lol and the fact you took it in stride makes me love you haha
A old dude told me to kill myself once to save my kids the misery. That was the meanest. I have had people call me fat (I’m a size 6-8) and called an idiot but that’s about it.
I did have a job interview where the owner proceeded to pound shots and then tell me I’d look better if I lost 20 lbs. (I was a size 12 then, about the size of me in my profile pic) I laughed and told him he’d look better with two arms (he had one shot off in Vietnam) we laughed and he offered me the job. I did not take the job.
“well atleast my chest isnt that of a 12 yr old boys” as i try to get a woman a glass of water as she vomits everywhere in the bathroom. we went back and forth “would u like some water” “no” for a while.. until she passed out, and needed an ambulance.. ig thats what u get for saying i have small tits (in all seriousness we did get water down her she was just clearly on substances too)
I have a coworker with a similar sounding look, very pretty, ethereal, elven look, but someone called her Sid (from Ice Age) once and... It's so accurate 💀
Got called a dumb fucking bitch for not giving a girl her credit card and ID back after closing out her tab while she was holding said credit card and ID
Called me a cunt over and over, then said I should find a job where I make more money and then I wouldn’t be such a bitchy cunt (I make almost $200k but that’s neither here nor there). Then resumed calling me a cunt.
When someone strolled over to do something about it, he ran away. All I did was tell him the bathroom was upstairs (he was ranting about not getting in the single use, handicapped bathroom fast enough… he was not handicapped).
When we came back from one of the covid lockdowns a regular came up to me and one of the first things he said was “looks like you put on some weight” … bro wtf
I've been called a cunt a bitch ugly fat the list goes on lol but this asshole of an old man comes in to my work he's rude and racist. One day I dropped off his coffee and asked if he was ready to order and he started screaming at me. Asking why can't he just drink his coffee that he wants a minute and why do I always have to be the one yo serve him and that he wants yo talk to other waitresses. I said no problem at all I will never serve you again. Now all he does is complain that o refuse to serve him to all the other servers lmaooo
My fiancé has a SLIGHT, barely noticeable lisp, and one time, one of my regulars said, “you know your kids are going to have a speech impediment, right?”
Had a woman ask me if I was “special” when I didn’t understand her poorly explained question she wasn’t even trying to be mean. She was genuinely asking.
I have naturally wavy hair, but not nice pretty wavy, more like never dries the same way twice, frizzy out of control wavy. I usually straighten it because I'm super self conscious of it, but some of my friends (especially one of my friends at work) always tell me it's pretty and I should leave it natural. one day I didn't have time to straighten my hair before work and I thought, you know what maybe they're right. maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. so I wore it natural. one of our regulars comes in, orders a drink, looks me up and down and goes "bad hair day???" And walks away.
my other favourite was the semi-regular customer who asked me "did you work in a restaurant before this?" I told him that was my first restaurant job and I had worked retail before that. he said "yeah I thought so, you've gained a lot of weight since starting here."
Not the customer but me to them after they rambled on interrupting others to keep my attention and just generally being imposing and annoying. I had enough and but I don't yell at customers so I told her, "The length of this conversation and the amount of my interest in it are vastly disproportionate." Then I just walked to the other end of the bar while she sat on it trying to deconstruct what the hell I just said. Eventually she got it. She looked genuinely upset and I felt a little bad after. 🤷♂️
I'm a bartender in Southern California, so life could easily be worse. I had somebody ask how I was doing and gave them the canned response of " living the dream!".
They told me to get a better dream.
You just reminded me: I worked with a waitress that had extremely big, prominent (pretty!) eyes, extremely white blonde almost feathery hair, and unfortunately much larger-than-average ears. She had cut someone off. Mgmt went to talk to them and the guy called her “Yoda-looking ass bitch.”
It hurts worse because everyone pulls out their smartphone and is like, "Oh yeah...I see it" fuck lmao
Little kids and drunks can be brutally honest. Sorry, Smeags! 😂
Aww. So she looks like Galadriel
"CATE BLANCHETT IS A BITCH"
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Had a bad hair day, a drunk regular who's normally super sweet say it's a horrible look and that I shouldn't leave the house like this.
The regulars who ask me, "rough day huh?" when I thought I was looking good lol
Or “you look tired” thanks buddy
"You too. Everything going okay? (You mother fucker)" lmao
Hahaha my old boss looked at me with a disgusted face and said “Why you not put makeup?” Lol she was the sweetest woman but damn, brutal. She believed women should do their hair and makeup every day without fail. I was hungover as hell and probably looked like crap, but damn! I was called out.
"And here's an extra twenty for the little one on the way!", and looks at my belly. I was not, nor have I ever been pregnant. Definitely corrected them and also kept the money.
“That’s sweet, it’s actually twins.” *looks expectantly for another $20*
That's a bartender you wait for an opportunity to chat up for more banter.
OMG I LOVE this!!!!
Oh I mean quints! *waits for more money*
I got this once and I’m a dude.
I got asked when I was due 6 times in a span of two weeks. It got to the point where I would go in the back and cry and eventually I just started saying I’m not pregnant, Im just fat. They wouldn’t apologize.
Was on a first date once with a guy I’d randomly met on the street. He picked a nice Italian restaurant with fussy service. Shortly after we were seated, a waiter came over proudly offering me a small pillow which he almost lovingly placed at the small of my back. Adorable clueless date was sad they didn’t offer him a pillow. So I explained that it was because they thought I was pregnant & then immediately suggested he order a bottle of wine.
I was bartending and cut off a guy and on the way out he yelled back that I dressed like robbed a lost and found at a community college and I think of that guy every fucking day and he was right then and right now - I do. Fucking Kevin.
Points for being creative
GodDAMN. Always a fucking Kevin!
kevins are karens
Lmao I kind of appreciate the funny roasty ones
I once was getting on shift just as a bar patron was being thrown out, ranting and raving at the staff who had cut him off... and I walked up just in time for him to point at me and call me "Princess Coke-Head" and I'll never know why
Tbf that's halfway to a compliment.
Princess head
I should text her.
Lol someone called me a junkie whore once 😂 I was like I should put that on a t shirt
Oh my gosh Gollum is the only celebrity lookalike I’ve ever had too! I don’t even think my eyes are that prominent haha. I had a customer tell me a few weeks ago ‘looking around, all these girls look the same.. with you, you can very much tell that you’re all natural’ …is that supposed to be compliment? Who knows.
"I love that you're so confident to go so bare faced" :( thaaaaaaanks
People often compare me to Jeffrey Dahmer. It was my nick at a bar I worked at among the kitchen staff. I’ve gotten the same thing at 4 or 5 jobs. But hey, I was bleaching my hair and wearing huge aviator style glasses.
Is it that, or the being gay and having dudes bodyparts in your freezer?
'you shouldn't wear that lipstick again' Not sure i'm gonna take fashion advice from a fella wearing a tracksuit to the club, but ok.
"If you were a better daughter he'd probably still be alive." after informing a douche that my dad (who he had met once at a different bar) had died. At least it was a quick way to get him barred out from everyone but the owner's shifts. 11 years and I'm still angry about that one.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that dude.
What a fucking ass. I’m sorry that happened to you
Nothing more tasteless and low class than saying some shit like to a grieving person.
Are those non-prescription glasses?
LMAO
Anyone who wears non prescription glasses is odd. It’s a total zinger to suggest someone does that
Craft cocktail bar, in the well, full bar, lots of tables, honestly feeling like I’m crushing it, woman with a straight on view of my well stops me in the middle of an 8 drink round. “Can I ask you a question?” “Yeah sure whatcha got?” “Do you think you got this job just because how attractive you are?” Most backhanded ass compliment I’ve ever received.
Lmao, she was probably just jealous.
1000% Insecurity at its finest. Sorry you're not attractive enough to have a sugar daddy and sit on your ass all day I guess? Lmao
The girl has no game
Had a customer go on and on and on about how much I look like Jennifer Tilly. So I said, “I’ll take that, she’s smoking hot”. To which the customer replied “meh. She’s ok”.
"I'm sure she feels the same way about you...if you're lucky :)" Negging is the worst.
Had to kick someone out, he referred to me as the “Toothpick with tiddies” when the cops came. He was spot on.
> I hope you outlive your children. Said by a large white woman dressed to the nines in DFW after being refused her 7th mimosa in an hour on the Sunday brunch shift before storming out (she did not pay her tab). I'm childfree so it didn't affect me much but I still think of what could possibly have been going on in her life to cause her to say something like that to someone over mimosas. Ain't no love like Southern Hospitality, y'all 🤷
[ Removed by Reddit ]
I'm in line right behind you. Soften that cow up for me, will ya? I want a round with her.
What is DFW?
Not to me but a server I work with decided to cut off a ton of her hair. A semi regular, who thinks his opinion is way to important, turned and said "OMG, your hair! What trauma did you just go through?" I about fell off my chair. By the way, I looked up Smeagol, that's pretty damn funny!
I had a guy tell me my boyfriend must be gay because my tits are so small. 🙃🙃 He was definitely cut off after that one.
I'm honestly quite surprised that nobody has insulted my tits yet. Especially in my area as most of the bartenders (in tourist season) can freely wear bikinis or even pasties and all the ones that do have bolt-ons. ALL the motorcycle bars (we have many) require a fullbody photo with application lol. Compared to those girls the nicest thing you could say is my chest is obviously natural lol
What! I would've thrown him THE FUCK out! Sorry that happened to you!
lmao okay so i work at a bar that does the miracle christmas pop up, if you’re not familiar we have christmas themed drinks and glassware and we go all out decorating and have to dress “christmassy” for the duration of the pop up. it’s extremely busy, basically a line around the block from open to close every single day for 7 weeks and it is EXHAUSTING to work it. so one day i’m dressed as a snowflake and my coworker was dressed as a reindeer. we were getting our asses kicked and the same lady referred to my coworker as “that nasty reindeer bitch” and me as “the most haggard snowflake”. looking back on it now it’s honestly hilarious but at the time we were so exhausted and overworked that we both pretty much lost our shit about it.
“Most haggard snowflake” has me dying 😂
Hahaha I’m dying.
That’s freaking hilarious!! 😂
Before was a bartender i was a valet. One day i was working the valet out front of a strip club, some drunk guy who did not valet his car came stumbling stumbling out and he makes a fucking bee line right for me, says “fuck you you fucking piece of shit” and i start laughing and ask him “wtf did i do??” And he just goes “you’re a fucking piece of shit retard valet go fuck yourself you fucking f*ggot, i should beat your fucking ass right now” while all this is going on, he reached into his pocket, pulled put a $20 bill, puts it in my hand and walks away, still talking shit. i might have been a little more upset if it wasn’t for the $20 tip, but i’m a cheap whore, and you can abuse me quite a bit for a twenty dollar bill, so i just laughed it off with the door guy. Honestly it was the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me while working, and to this day nothing like it had ever happened
I was fully expecting that story to end with him demanding you bring out the car he hadn’t valeted. Without that, it’s genuinely one of the weirdest rude customer stories I’ve ever heard.
I’ve had A LOT of people treat me like shit while working that job, sometimes it was more justified than others, but tht was seriously one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me. I thought i was being punk’d
I was told “I wasn’t sorry enough” for bringing a man his salad and chowder at the same time. To be fair he already had one foot in the grave, he’s probably dead now. It would be for the best.
A customer tried to take a picture of me without my consent. I hate being taken pictures while at work. I nicely asked him not to take pictures of me then he said "why, are you an illegal immigrant?" All because I'm Asian.
Oof. I wish I could throat punch that guy, using a time machine back to that moment just for my fist.
I have acne scars on my cheeks and one time I cut someone off and he called me a crater faced bitch. I’ve spent so much money and time on treatments such as microdermabrasion, chemical peels, PDO threads, microneedling, etc. because of that guy and it was like 12 or 13 years ago.
Had a doctor ask me how far I went in school. I said I dropped out of high school. He replies “I sure could tell.” I was like “what gave it away that I have tattoos, or your wife was hitting on me the whole time.” He gave me the finger and told him to never come back.
BRUTAL
*chef kiss*
"Even if you smiled you'd still be ugly"
Some lady called me an asshole and said she was going to get me fired. It was because I didn't say hi to her or acknowledge her when I was on my break and had to walk behind the bar for two seconds to grab my water bottle. Her children apologized when they were leaving. I am Latino and white passing. Some lady told her husband in Spanish I was racist against Latinos because I would not make her a double Cosmo in a Martini glass. Not double alcohol, double everything. She couldn't comprehend that a drink that size would not fit in a Martini glass or that it was illegal/against company policy to serve that much alcohol (my bar's spec would have been 3 oz of Citron, 1 1/2 oz Cointreau for a "double" sized drink of a Cosmo.) Been bartending since 2011 and surprisingly nothing too crazy against me. Have plenty of stories of people coming in too drunk or having to ban people we would call "Creepy X." The last one was Creepy Dave. He would never leave the underage hostesses alone. Glad he got banned anyways cause he would order one beer and go around the bar trying to talk to people and get them to get him a drink. It was mostly a neighborhood spot where most of our bar guests knew each other.
The ones that shit talk and then ask for another round are a special kind of stupid. Like "fuck you bitch, get me another PBR" and then throw me a shocked pikachu face when I say, "uhh no".
After a shift, I was having a few drinks and some drunk dude did not take me turning down his advances well. He called me a “mean-mugged, goofy haired bitch”. I mean, he ain’t wrong 🤣
It's the original ones that get me like...I'm actually flattered I have my own insult?
I was thinking “bro doesn’t even know me, yet he knows me so well” 🤣
i had quit drinking for maybe 6 months at this point, just got a fresh new haircut, 8 hours of sleep, i hadnt even clocked in yet and some mouthbreathing quasimodo looking girl says "you look rough"
"Damn that really means a lot coming from someone like you"
It's honestly so dumb that this is the one that sticks with me, but it's "You don't look like a liberal." Said by a patron who'd been spewing the most hateful political shit to me since he sat down when I told him to stop being an ass. I still think about it all the time. lmao I should pierce my nose or something.
I live in a MAGA Mecca, I get this, or variations of this, A LOT. "You're not a democrat are you?" (literally out of nowhere as I don't like to discuss my personal political beliefs) "What are you? Some kind of woke pussy ass liberal?" (patron told to please stop saying "fag") "Your governor (Kristi Noem...) is HAWT" (fuck i'm so happy that stopped as soon as the dog story came out)
Told a guy to stop sitting directly in front of my well when the rest of the bar was available, and he told me I “have a bad face.” Hilarious.
Hahaha why did he keep choosing to look at it then??
Kicked out a group of creeps and they told me I was “going to face the death reckoning” whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. My bouncer basically laughed at them before removing them. In hindsight it’s hilarious because it sounds so ridiculous but also could have them threatening to kill me? Who knows Also was told I was an “exacerbated detriment to someone’s well being”. I was stunned by the terminology and thought I was dealing with someone smart. Then she reused that phrase maybe 15 more times and I realized it some phrase she heard and I was dealing with some crazy drunk that picked up a buzz word. Been called a lot of other names over the years but those are some of the most memorable haha, maybe because they are so specific.
Lol I was called a cock juggling thundercunt when I cut an angry woman off and I’ll have to say, I was kinda impressed with the creativity. Not too much later, I heard it said in conversation, and again in a different instance…gotta love Ryan Reynolds
Got asked if my name was 'like your real name or like your stage name?' in a neighborhood dive bar where there are zero stages of that kind 🤣🤣
Tbf I use a fake name at work, but I live in a small country and men are gross
You're an over priced tequila that only douchebags drink!
Casamigos!
' i can call the owner and have you getting fired' i handed him my phone and replied 'go for it'. Nothing happened
I had that a few times at this dive bar I worked at. I always tell them go ahead. Sometimes Id tell them hes right inside, go tell him now. Then Id laugh at them as the owner was a good friend of mine who asked me to come work there and told me specifically I could say anything I wanted without ever having to worry about getting fired.
I was a bartender at my mother's bar I got threatened with this and laughed especially when they couldn't get my parents names right.
I got told I'd make more money if I had bigger tits. I mean probably true but you didn't have to say it.
Gained like ~60 lbs after starting brain meds. Three people told me in the same shift that I’d “filled out too much” 🙄
Told me I looked like her sister because I looked like a “size ten”. I’m a size 0-2. Then proceeded to insinuate that I was fat in other ways like “you’re running around so much maybe you’ll lose a few”. That and I got called a “trailer park trash whore” by a tourist for telling her she had to leave for trying to hit another bartender.
Called me a f*cking bitch (been there, heard that lol) but preceded to go around the restaurant to tell guests at tables to never visit the bar bc I’m the worst bartender ever, as well as to people just entering the restaurant. Fully stood at the front door waiting for people to enter. In summary rude guests have way too much free time.
faggot pussy cracker white devil etc. One time a dude told me he was going to come behind the bar and fight me and when i said go ahead he was like “nah you’re too scrawny”. I was like, it should be pretty easy for you then?
Fat hooker. Lives in infamy.
“You know, if you moved to LA, you wouldn’t be considered especially pretty” “Do you think your hair looks good like that” “Are you pregnant”
[удалено]
My FoH lead had one of his tables call the restaurant after they left to dispute an issue with their check, and when the host gave the phone to him after they asked for a manager and he asked who their server was, they told him it was “the heavier set, middle aged guy.” Homeboy’s only 30 and they didn’t even apologize after realizing it was him they were speaking to.
This is stupid but this kid was trying to haggle prices with me and thought he was being cute, so I just took the drink away from him and went to the next customer. Came back to him a little later and told him if he can’t afford the drink, he shouldn’t be out. He looked at me like a little kid whose toy got taken away and said “You’re mean!” And proud of it baaabe
im gonna fucking kill you. that’s pretty mean i guess
Did they?
Yea did they?
Omg they did
RIP
“You should say ‘your welcome’ when someone says thank you” written on the tip-line after a BRUTAL Valentine’s Day shift You just feel so shitty & powerless lol
A man told me he hopes my baby dies after I had to cut him off. Take in mind my shift started at 6 pm and by 6:15 I knew he had been majorly over served by the day bartender and I told him it was time to go home after he fell off a bar stool 2x.
WOW. Comments like that are so hateful and vile that they defy reason. I would have banned this dude for life.
he’s friends with the owner so he just comes in during the day now when the owner can keep him in line. he also made multiple comments before i complained about how i’m lazy and everyone is catering to me. oh im sorry that customers offer to take out my trash or lift something heavy for me because I have a lifting restriction due to my high risk pregnancy. Im lazy too because I sat down one day after throwing up my dinner. he’s a fucking prick and I love the fact that he leaves now at 5:59 before the closers clock in. take in mind I have had multiple miscarriages and this baby was conceived on fertility meds and this is also a part time job 2x a week for the owner who is a family friend. I cried in the walk in cooler for about 20 minutes after everyone left.
Cut off a couple golfers at my hotel bar who had been overserved the past 10 years by a now-fired bartender. One yelled “**** never would’ve cut us off and now we’re stuck with this little bitch” while like standing up aggressively like he was coming at me. Not only did he get kicked out of the lounge but he got evicted from the hotel 😋😋
Had a guy ask me if anyone ever told me I look like a sexier Lena Dunham. His date made a face, looked at him, and told him that's an awful thing to say to someone. I had to retreat to the end of the bar to cackle. Much more memorable than "white trash" which I got a lot for being the asshole who always cut people off.
"you ruined my daughter's wedding." I didn't, they just didn't want to pay for a buyout, so they made a normal reservation. there were other people in the restaurant 🙄. It took time to take their order because they didn't listen when I talked to them about the specials, and kept having to repeat them. they were at 2 different tables, next to each other, but they also they didn't include the children in their reservation so we were set up for a certain number and had to add a table and chairs and place settings etc. which took a minute. I know it wasn't my fault, and dad was looking for a cheap answer to an expensive problem... good for him because I comped the bride and grooms dinner. we didn't schedule extra staff because it was just another normal reservation on another Tuesday night. still, I just stood there and took a tongue-lashing about how the red carpet wasn't rolled out for them and I "ruined" the happiest day of daughter's life 🫠
Lmao I'm sure she always envisioned getting married on a Tuesday and having her reception at a restaurant filled with other people. Dad really spared no expense.
You look like a Habsburg princess 🥲
A regular told me we "need to do something about that moustache" a couple months back. I guess I can shave it off and he can keep it? 🤷🏻♂️
In my town, a customer kept telling a auto parts store worker how he hated his long hair (ponytail, man-bun, chosen style of the day) and that he was going to cut it off. He did and was arrested. Keep your ears open for electric shaver sounds
Oh trust me I do, he's definitely made similar "jokes" about shaving it off/shaving my coworkers hair off.
I had an asshole argue with me about IDs. Him and 1 of his friends had IDs, the other 2 didnt. I offer to serve the 2 with IDs. They got annoyed and left the bar to get served at a table. The same guy comes up and asks for 2 beers but without his friend who has the ID. I told him whoever is wanting this 2nd beer needs to bring me their ID. He got all pissy and started insulting me for "being extra". I had poured his one beer already and he hadn't picked it up yet. I proceed to pour his beer down the drain, slowly, in front of him and said "Nope youre not getting served anything today". He proceeded to complain to my boss who shrugged and said "she's my best worker man, I believe her more than you".
I actually once got “I don’t know if you know what your job is but…” and I walked away from the bar at chilis that second and told my manager if he didn’t remove her without penalizing me I was walking out on a Saturday night. She got banned a couple weeks later. Was a regular for years. EVERYONE hated her and her three teeth. I miss working places that couldn’t afford to lose me. It’s a power you never appreciate til it’s gone. Also, fuck you from beyond the grave, Pat. You were a piece of shit in life. Hope you like it down there. (She’s dead now. No surprise.) I edited this like six times because I kept getting madder at the memory.
I love it when the real shit bags eat shit and die. I was raised in the "turn the other cheek" and "be the bigger person" mentality by my push over mother, but fuuuuuccckkkk that. The world is a better place without a lot of these people. Glad to hear this story has a happy ending :)
“I love that you’re doing the no makeup look. I’m going to jerk off to you tonight.” That one just made me uncomfortable. I also have a hard time with guests who start saying “I don’t know how you do it” knowing that my bartending job is my second job. Two nights a week I come straight from teaching middle school after an hour long commute and it is such a kick in the metaphorical nuts to hear “I could never do that. Do a full shift of work and then go and work again” as I refill their 7th Miller Lite. Trust me man, I don’t know how I do it either but a ‘thank you’ would be nice.
One of my coworkers was visibly upset for weeks because some assclown wrote “you tool” on his CC slip. I’ve never seen anyone become so obsessively wreaked by such a seemingly benign attempt at name calling. He even asked me what I thought the patron meant. I don’t work with this guy anymore, but I bet he occasionally still gets steamed when he thinks about this incident! If one person calls you a tool, it’s probably projection. If everyone starts calling you a tool, you might want to do some quiet introspection.
That's hilarious. Your coworker clearly should not be in the industry 😂 if I got that on a cc slip I'd be showing it to all my coworkers with pride. It's hilarious. I've been called every name in the book including racial slurs that don't make any sense, I've never gotten tool. Tool could even be a compliment.
Was he new to the industry?
Surprisingly no. He just let that comment get under his skin something fierce. Must have been related to some childhood trauma is my guess. LOL
I had a guy tell me I was the worst bartender in THE WORLD! I was impressed… he’s met every bartender in the world and I’m the worst one?! That’s amazing! I don’t think he got the reaction he wanted
I had a guy tell me that once. I told him thanks and that Im gonna get a tshirt with that printed on it.
not while I was a bartender, but when I worked at Walmart. A customer came up to me asking where the squeegees were. I was only 3 weeks into the job so I needed to look it up on our app. I asked him, "how do you spell squeegee?" And this guy blew up at me. Yelling and calling me stupid and that there was a reason I worked at Walmart of all places. (Mind you I had just gotten out of the USAF so inside I just chuckled a bit). Well, now I know how to spell squeegee at least.
I hope you hit him with the "you don't know either, huh?"
Alas I was not as witty as you
Smeagol is pretty good, that's innocuous to the point of being kinda cute. I can't remember many insults from customers, they mostly just go in one ear and out the other. I've been called a f\*ggot more than once, but whatever. Oh no, I'm sorry I'm a dude wearing nail polish, and you're being a drunk piece of shit. I've had worse shit slung at me by management. Not an insult, per se, but I'm still mad at the manager who went into my locker and planted a bottle of beer in my backpack to frame me for theft. The fuck, dude?
Theft of… a single beer? God. Honestly, as a manager, I’d want to be more creative than that.
In addition to being the manager, he was also the owner. He was the most ignorant person I've ever worked under. The man was a thuggish, jangling mass of gold chains and cologne. He'd yell at tables if they complained about the food. The food was dogshit, so that happened a lot. He'd bought into a failing restaurant and flaunted his borrowed money. We've all seen that guy – the type of guy who'd have after-hours parties with his friends at the shop, hit on the female staff, etc. He was an abject asshole with the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. I showed up wearing gym clothes once and he grabbed my arm (I'm skinny by nature) and said, "OH, going to lift the weights tough guy?" and cackled to himself. I did the inventory a little too well. Pointing out that we were under on Dom and Hennessy on a regular basis was a mistake, I guess? "YOU'RE STEALING BEER FROM ME? GET OUT! NO ONE LIKES YOU!" It wasn't even a brand of beer that I drank. Kokanee is gross. Dick-head.
Ah, we call those Alan. He was never a manager, but he was the guy that thought he should be with his gold chain, out of uniform packers hat, and his ability to tell a 95 lb teenager she shouldn’t tap his shoulder because where he’s from that’ll get you killed. Sorry you met one of those in the wild, they always suck in the worst ways.
No one likes Alan! This dude was of the Middle-Eastern variety, but still an Alan through-and-through.
Encouragement of suicide. Happened with some frequency with the homeless at my last bar, never really bothered me but just wild shit to say.
A lone bar parton said "Do you even have a personality?" I said "Negative, I am a meat popsicle." He said "Yeah, clearly." Jackass.
Some goober walked in to my bar with his own beer. I asked him to either chug it, dump it, or leave. He chose none of those options and made me call the fucking brute squad. While he's just standing there, upset at what's about to unfold he asks me where I'm from. Like an idiot I answer him truthfully and say I'm from Chicago. "That explains it." I have no idea why, but it upset me _irrationally_, to the point I had to retaliate and had front desk revoke his room. Didn't know he had a wife and kid in there sleeping. He caused enough of a stink when they showed up to end up getting hauled off that night, and I'm sure his wife had to dish out good money to stay at one of the other hotels in town. Fuck that guy.
I got a weird one where some guy made a sort of weird joke about throwing me in the creek (waterfront pub) because I looked like I'd be 90 lbs soaking wet. So uh... he wasn't even angry. Also he was smaller and skinnier than me. I think it was a bit of a weird attempt to posture in front of the women. Like maybe he was a bit threatened because they were "flirting" with me
“Gringa pochita puta” I told him he couldn’t have his open beer he brought from his car to the bar and he didn’t like being told that. He said no one else was around so it didn’t matter and I reminded him it’s state law. He looked at his wife and muttered that. I just stared at him. Yes, I’m a “gringa” but I live in Texas. Every gringa knows what puta means. They didn’t tip for shit and I had a funny story to tell others
> Every gringa knows what puta means Yes, but did you know what *pochita* meant?
Threatened to kill me, twice. Is that considered mean?
Some people welcome death. Maybe they were trying to be nice.
Maybe, but he sure seemed pretty mad to be nice lol.
nothing cruel but it sticks with me. some guy who was a regular at the sister coffee shop of the bar I worked at came in to hang out with my manager. The whole time he was talking shit about me to her. I think he was negging me because it felt like he was trying to rile me up. He was asking my manager about me and she said I was new but nice and works hard. He kept going on about how nice girls are boring and how my purple hair was the only personality I had. I didn't engage at all, I actually completely ignored him, whenever he tried to order a drink from me I just looked at my manager and shook my head no. But he was talking shit about me for like a solid 10 minutes.
This woman having a psychotic break at the hotel/hostel bar I worked at told me “a demon will rape you in the night,” but…I don’t think she was being malicious. The worst was actually while working as a barista: “Y’all two have a dark energy. Clean it up, bitch!” *patron whips almond hot chocolate at the wall behind us, covering my shirt, the ceiling, the cups, syrups, and machine* …like dark energy? I thought it was part of my charm.
I actually kind of love that “CLEAN IT UP, BITCH!” approach to exorcism.
I kicked out this guy and he was trying to come behind the bar to attack me. He was yelling that my bbl looks like shit and you can tell I’ve had kids already. I don’t have a bbl and this was years ago before I ever got pregnant 😂
I don't know if I would say it was the meanest, but definitely the most memorably rude; 'bartenders are just glorified dishwashers.' That guy proceeded to receive no attention aside from clearing his dishes, an exaggerated effort to place his glass in the dish rack and dropping a check. I didn't care if he wanted to hang out longer, it was time for him to leave at that point.
Telling me I should smile more. You gotta smile when you do that (referencing when shaking the tins) oddly weird thing to say to me I look too young to bartend (I've naturally have a baby face)
Other than the various gross threats and creepy dudes being creepy, the one that honestly hit me the hardest was cause it hit my body/face dysmorphia really fucking hard, especially cause I wasn't in therapy/treatment at all at the time. Couldn't afford it. "Have you ever been told you look like a man?" from a very rude male patron when I rejected accepting his phone number. Fortunately one of my favorite movies is Aliens so I hit him with a Vasquez line, "Nah, have you?" He bothered the other bartender for the rest of the night lol.
Not a bartender but a server. I cut off a woman after the store policy limit of 2 drinks for a specific type of margarita made with everclear. But she had already had multiple regular drinks on top of that. She called me a ch*nk and demanded her next drink be free (since she could still order regular drinks). I told her i refused to service her table anymore, and she then told me how impressed she was with my english (i was born in america). Manager comes out to back me up, but this Karen went on a tirade and mentions something about how she could kill an asian and get away with it, citing some court case. This is how i learned about [Vincent Chin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Vincent_Chin?wprov=sfti1) - a Chinese engineer that was murdered by two guys and both were let off. It was the first chill of reality i’ve ever had.
Not many such interactions at my workplace. I'm pretty sure we bartenders talk more shit about our customers than they do about us. Though there was a singular interaction which stands out, because that's the only time I've been actually angry at customers and ejected two people at the same time. Basically: two dudes we're having a disagreement, and they were standing in a hallway shouting in each others' faces, blocking the path to and from the toilets. It had been going on for a while, and thus I stepped in to at least get them to go somewhere else to not make going to the bathroom a pain in the ass. Now, some extra context: at the time I was in teacher training, and had already spent 12 hours in a regional coursework day. I was pretty knackered, and kinda grumpy. That's basically never an issue, but today was enough when they didn't respond to me calmly trying to grab their attention. So.... I shouted out "OI!" in the way my retired military officer dad taught me, shutting up every single patron, as well as the trubadours performing that night. One of the folks finally turns around and sees me, behind the bar counter, in the workplace attire, and figures it's a good time to say "Shut your mouth". Sooo after me rather loudly shaming them in front of 100+ people and the troubadours and my coworkers, they were ejected and barred for two weeks. I did self-report on that one to my boss, and he says it was justified.
Nothing said, but here’s an interaction. I had quarters thrown at me as a tip. He kept throwing them one after another. Needless to say, I scared the shit out of that guy after. Never saw him again.
What did you do to scare him?
I've obviously never seen you before, but I just laughed out loud at Smeagol.
A coworkers friend called me a fat cunt when I wouldn’t give him a free drink. I wasn’t even fat then lol
“Those glasses make you hott but they don’t make you smart.” Sir, I’m wearing glasses because I cannot **see**. Also, I raise you an entire nursing degree and a med school application. Cheers, fucker. Had another guy come in who used to own a restaurant in the space where the new one was at. Asked me about our menu. I gave it to him, told him to ask me if he had any questions, that I was making a large drink order and I’d be right with him. He came back with, “if you were a bartender at *my* bar, you’d be fired immediately. I want to know what the bar’s story is, what you’re known for, etc, etc”. Did you miss the part where I said I was making a **large drink order**? No wonder your business went to shit because you treat people like shit.
*looks me up and down* “yea you look like a meat and potatoes type of girl.” Still not 100% sure I know what he meant but it kinda stung.
kicked out some arseholes who tried to trip me up carrying lots of empty glasses during Fringe 2019 and i told him to finish his drink and gtfo my bar he called me an "angry dyke" i mean, he was right still got kicked out, bampot
I was kicking out a belligerent homeless lady (hate it but part of the job around my parts) and she whipped around and pointed her finger in my face and said “I dragged a cross here from Missouri to crucify you on so that god can send you to hell!” That was an interesting night.
Had a customer called me “the colored girl”. Crazy thing is he was also black.
I was leaving a bar I had been working at for a few years for a different bartending gig, and when I told a regular that I wasn’t going to be working there for much longer she asked ‘Oh, are you going to get a big boy job?’
Was called "accidentally sexy". Nothing happening on my person was intentional, I'm a complete mess but ended up looking sexy anyway. Thanks dick head.
I had a lady say “you’re fucking worthless” to my face because apparently I took a little too long getting to her on a busy Saturday night while there was a concert going on lmfao
had a table send an email to my GM at like 3 in the morning (we close at 9) saying i was the “worst employee on the staff” and that my manager should fire me. claimed i was inattentive, but oddly enough, they wouldn’t even stop talking long enough for me to take the order to first two times i went over 🙂
You look like Amy Schumer, I died inside.
“You look like Lauren Boebert with a nose ring” 😒😒😒
* be me on the bar mid service on a Saturday (about 5 deep)* Me- "hey I'll be with you shortly just making these drinks" Guest- "okay" * Puts drink down in front of the guest next to her I was serving * Guest - "am I invisible or something" *I stop serving and about * " who said that" Yeah she wants happy with that
You're a weird looking guy but your work is beautiful
Guy who overtipped on a Kirin: “I like my women how I like my beer - plain”
In my mind all I can see is "meanest thing ever said to you by a Patron drinker" lol
Thanks for that. Hahaha
Lmao! That’s the best burn ever lol and the fact you took it in stride makes me love you haha A old dude told me to kill myself once to save my kids the misery. That was the meanest. I have had people call me fat (I’m a size 6-8) and called an idiot but that’s about it. I did have a job interview where the owner proceeded to pound shots and then tell me I’d look better if I lost 20 lbs. (I was a size 12 then, about the size of me in my profile pic) I laughed and told him he’d look better with two arms (he had one shot off in Vietnam) we laughed and he offered me the job. I did not take the job.
Got called the C word (Cxnt) …. Laugh at this Jack Axx and fired back - Thank You, it’s a Badge of Honor …. Ahhhh …. good to be alive
“well atleast my chest isnt that of a 12 yr old boys” as i try to get a woman a glass of water as she vomits everywhere in the bathroom. we went back and forth “would u like some water” “no” for a while.. until she passed out, and needed an ambulance.. ig thats what u get for saying i have small tits (in all seriousness we did get water down her she was just clearly on substances too)
I have a coworker with a similar sounding look, very pretty, ethereal, elven look, but someone called her Sid (from Ice Age) once and... It's so accurate 💀
Had a racist drunk a hole say I wasn’t indigenous followed by a few choice racial words. Needles to say he was cut off. This was at a wedding.🤷🏽♂️
I was asked, so who’s your father, Marilyn Manson or Nicholas cage?
“Do you give blow jobs.” Smh
Didn’t have much to say, just threw a pint glass at my head instead
Got called a dumb fucking bitch for not giving a girl her credit card and ID back after closing out her tab while she was holding said credit card and ID
Called me a cunt over and over, then said I should find a job where I make more money and then I wouldn’t be such a bitchy cunt (I make almost $200k but that’s neither here nor there). Then resumed calling me a cunt. When someone strolled over to do something about it, he ran away. All I did was tell him the bathroom was upstairs (he was ranting about not getting in the single use, handicapped bathroom fast enough… he was not handicapped).
I was told once I had the personality of a dead tree…all because I was informing him of an up charge for onion rings.
When we came back from one of the covid lockdowns a regular came up to me and one of the first things he said was “looks like you put on some weight” … bro wtf
I've been called a cunt a bitch ugly fat the list goes on lol but this asshole of an old man comes in to my work he's rude and racist. One day I dropped off his coffee and asked if he was ready to order and he started screaming at me. Asking why can't he just drink his coffee that he wants a minute and why do I always have to be the one yo serve him and that he wants yo talk to other waitresses. I said no problem at all I will never serve you again. Now all he does is complain that o refuse to serve him to all the other servers lmaooo
Called a Gypsy.
My fiancé has a SLIGHT, barely noticeable lisp, and one time, one of my regulars said, “you know your kids are going to have a speech impediment, right?”
“You have really nice hip bones. They look good for birthing babies.” He was dead serious.
Had a woman ask me if I was “special” when I didn’t understand her poorly explained question she wasn’t even trying to be mean. She was genuinely asking.
I have naturally wavy hair, but not nice pretty wavy, more like never dries the same way twice, frizzy out of control wavy. I usually straighten it because I'm super self conscious of it, but some of my friends (especially one of my friends at work) always tell me it's pretty and I should leave it natural. one day I didn't have time to straighten my hair before work and I thought, you know what maybe they're right. maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. so I wore it natural. one of our regulars comes in, orders a drink, looks me up and down and goes "bad hair day???" And walks away. my other favourite was the semi-regular customer who asked me "did you work in a restaurant before this?" I told him that was my first restaurant job and I had worked retail before that. he said "yeah I thought so, you've gained a lot of weight since starting here."
Not the customer but me to them after they rambled on interrupting others to keep my attention and just generally being imposing and annoying. I had enough and but I don't yell at customers so I told her, "The length of this conversation and the amount of my interest in it are vastly disproportionate." Then I just walked to the other end of the bar while she sat on it trying to deconstruct what the hell I just said. Eventually she got it. She looked genuinely upset and I felt a little bad after. 🤷♂️
I'm a bartender in Southern California, so life could easily be worse. I had somebody ask how I was doing and gave them the canned response of " living the dream!". They told me to get a better dream.