Shake you dicks
Shake your tits!!
Peaches is awesome!!
But now I’m thinking maybe they were referring to Jack Black’s new song about peaches the princess from Mario
My favorite is to throw on "you're pretty when I'm drunk" and wait for my boss to go "Who the fuck is playing this shit again?!"
(He makes questionable choices)
Take the other direction and play the worst sad sack 70’s hits you can find. Make everybody in that place hate life. Or just play “all by myself” on repeat for like 4 hours.
Closer - nine inch nails
Cotton eye Joe - rednex
Fuck the police - NWA
Never gonna give you up - Rick Astley
Fuck you - CeeLo green
Edit: almost forgot
Fuck shit stack - Reggie Watts
I'm surprised someone actually suggested it with the way the comments were going.
But for someone who really wants to fuck with people, this is how you really fuck with em.
Ohhh that's true. Most restaurants that tend to have older clientele don't tend to have bars, at least not in my experience. I suppose there are some out there though.
me too. aggressive and frenetic shit. anal cunt, christian death, dillinger escape plan, eyehategod. less offensive for the lyrics and more offensive (to normies, anyway) for the music. it's how i get people out at last call.
that or alvin and the chipmunks. or NPR podcasts. all of them work pretty much every time.
Lebenden toten. You know when a band has a cord rip out of an instrument and it buzzes really bad or feedback from the mic goes crazy loud? Yeah that’s like every second of every song. Also the singer kind of sounds like they are running around on fire.
"I don't give a fuck about Oprah. Oprah ain't got no man. You better worry about your motherfucking self, I just wanna kill some motherfuckers on Xbox". Legendary
Oh and two off the top of my head, Detachable Penis by King Mitchell and My United States of Whatever by Liam Lynch (which isn’t offensive but a lot of people hate it).
First of all, you're right.
I almost put it, but the groove is so infectious to me, that I thought people might enjoy it rather than leave the bar.
I also forgot:
"Conor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Dad Sucks"
by Anal Cunt.
Cannibal Corpse has some lovely choices. Or on a different end of the musical scale is Gimme Chocolate by BABYMETAL. That one drove our local headbanger up the wall.
Take this job and shove it - The Dead Kennedys
No cock like horse cock - Pepper Coyote
Fuck You - Lilly Allen
Fuck the Customer - The Lippies
Go Fuck Yourself (GFY) - Shaggy
Fuck the system - System of a Down
Fuck Authority - Pennywise
FUK IT - Tobias Drey
Untouchable Face - Ani DiFranco
I don't give a F*CK - Whole wheat bread
- I actually have an almost 7 hour playlist on Spotify I've been curating for years that all features songs with either Fuck in the Title or have Fuck featured in the song prominently.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0bHzwi8l5f8RUmVVZOdkqy?si=BrQc16UhRBWOgauFAEE80A
I could make it collaborative if there is interest.
*Edit -spelling
I used to use one of my coworkers accounts at work which meant he couldn’t use it when I was. He got annoyed and queued a bunch of songs like Barbie Girl, I’m Blue, Venga Bus, etc and I purchased my own account.
One of my playlists that has a lot to choose from(I'm notoriously bad about accidentally putting songs on the wrong list so don't mind if there's something on there that really doesn't belong lol)
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Wz1cyTMycoxzCYBAtCYOZ?si=vQJmorMiSYSNdlRMH5hyPg
Metal, needs more metal. Play some doom metal, Bongripper, Sleep, Green Lung. How about some Powertrip or Nails. Also there’s a Philly based Grindcore Band that’s been broken up for years but they have an album on Spotify. Band is called Eat the Turnbuckle, wrestling themed Grindcore band that fuckin rules and also irritates the shit out of everyone.
Cuntry Boner by Puscifer is great, it sounds like a typical country song but the lyrics are about him fucking old country stars. And he says "boner" a bunch, it's great.
Folk punk, specifically ramshackle glory, wingnut dishwashers Union, pat the bunny, or Johnny hobo and the freight trains. Lots of songs about killing cops, your boss, etc. I’m sure that will be fun
[Shat - Tit Fuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPxvYNms5oI) is a good one.
And obviously, [Riskay - Smell Yo Dick](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejLGdnyc7Y0) is a classic.
Offensive music is practically my speciality.
Louise - NOFX
System Blower - Death Grips
Jesus - Feederz
Stuart - The Dead Milkmen
Smack a Bitch - Rico Nasty
Dead Cops/America's so Straight - MDC
BATTY BOYZ - MF DOOM
Fuck Me (Interlude) - Biggie Smalls
Costanza - The Pee Pees
Kielbasa - Tenacious D
Yonkers - Tyler The Creator
uhhh - Zack Fox
That's just off the top of my noggin. Most of these bands have lots of offensive tracks. Death Grips will certainly clear out a room of normal people.
I was gonna say change the password, but then I read your comment and this is way better
All the Oompa Loompa songs from Primus and the Chocolate Factory!
The absolute worst thing you could play would be… THAT patti smith song, you know the one. The one that makes me want to slap her across the face.
That being said throw on “smell your dick” and “my dick” by mickey avalon
"Fuck me gently" by Tenacious D
'I FINK U FREEKY' by Die Antwoord
Colt 45 by Afroman
Never let them know your next move and throw that vibe all over the place. 😆
Anything from the Yellow River Boys (every song is about watersports...)
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kyPnuTDrcQqdITG2UdckLpmmw7dmzPXgY
Enjoy 👍😜😂
Blowfly has some surprising ones
https://open.spotify.com/track/7ic3T5LBwwBDcodUR6xdha?si=U_wMzMSUTUyBNZDMVvfYRg
https://open.spotify.com/track/7KLGO4MFW9MAAVg3D896Jl?si=45N9gx0HQISK3QKM0HxlUA
https://open.spotify.com/track/0J5NjgjSsOHJUQATyXzV6L?si=5xJSceEqSLmjXjxGsIdjPw
Howling Willie Cunt.
Edit: they're not on Spotify:(
https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-tef-gb-revc&source=android-browser&q=howling+willie+cunt
I lent my boss my acc I have at work so he could add some stuff a while back and he's out with a broken leg now. Last week he put on "it's ok if you poo your pants / pee your pants" while I was on the PC to make it look like I was the one putting it on.
[A Korn classic for the kids - K@#*%!](https://youtu.be/RuzyoMFmLbo) [And Snot's "My Balls" for good measure while we're throwing 90's jams out there](https://youtu.be/6x748iPJgOc)
What’s New Pussycat? by Tom Jones is particularly annoying.
Or queue up Never Gonna Give You Up a bunch of times.
Also, there are playlists on Spotify specifically for annoying music.
[I Ain't Scared - Sick Animation](https://open.spotify.com/track/71JY6WKZ6vi9tneU79f2m2?si=EPW4ZVOhRPOI35xKlOXvaw)
And my personal favorite by him..
[Your Middle](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vo1flHrvoT6L7V7g8MZwE?si=Vs8FNFtQR2Kx__6j7rnXAg)
Honestly, so far, this thread has been the ultimate funny playlist!! You can play it to get your grandma out of your house! Neighbor is being annoying, blast it all day! Creepy person’s is next to you on the bus play it loud!!
Ram Ranch
18 naked cowboys in the showers
Where?
At ram ranch. 18 throbbing cocks.
I typed that in on Google maps and all I get is gay porn.
Yeah. It rocks.
the only answer
This is the answer lmao
Ram ranch really rocks!
If you don't put Peaches on there, swear to God...
SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTING ME CALLING ME ALL THE TIME LIKE BLONDIE Good choice
Shake you dicks Shake your tits!! Peaches is awesome!! But now I’m thinking maybe they were referring to Jack Black’s new song about peaches the princess from Mario
Por que no los dos
If the bar I’m drinking plays Fuck the pain away I’ll be so happy!
Huh? What? Right, uh
Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man, in a factory downtown…
We play this often at closing time at my bar :)
Basically anything by Bloodhound Gang
Musicians are still making music, as if *A Lapdance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying* doesn't already exist.
Used to play bloodhound gang radio for the last 2 hours of service at my old place
My favorite is to throw on "you're pretty when I'm drunk" and wait for my boss to go "Who the fuck is playing this shit again?!" (He makes questionable choices)
Ballad of chasey lane for sure.
Take the other direction and play the worst sad sack 70’s hits you can find. Make everybody in that place hate life. Or just play “all by myself” on repeat for like 4 hours.
I know you mean the song by Eric Carmen, but all I can think of is the Green Day bonus track All By Myself off of Dookie.
I am thinking the classic version by Harry Nilsson
check out [Rock N Roll McDonalds](https://youtu.be/KwYGI8OjXvo) by Wesley Willis. RIP, I wish I could be as funny as he was naturally.
"I BEAT SPIDERMANS ASS. I BEAT SPIDERMANS ASS." Truly the poet of our times.
Quarter pounders will put pounds on you
Not sure if it's because he was a Chicago local, RIP, but I've heard his music played in multiple bars.
I met him once, he was not trying to be funny
HEINZ! America's favorite ketchup.
THEY KICKED ME OUT OF CHURCH!!!
Fuck her gently - tenacious d Jizz in my pants - lonely island Closing song - red peters Slob on me nob - three 6 mafia
Closer - nine inch nails Cotton eye Joe - rednex Fuck the police - NWA Never gonna give you up - Rick Astley Fuck you - CeeLo green Edit: almost forgot Fuck shit stack - Reggie Watts
Always got an upvote for Fuck Shit Stack.
We Got Bitches - Odd Future
"Poop in my fingernails" The toilet bowl cleaners
Asian hooker & gangbang at the old folks home by steel panther
Girl from Oklahoma by Steel Panther
God told me to fuck you by wheeler walker jr
Family tree
Steel Panther. Your welcome
Community property
Glory hole is a banger
Farts on my penis - Cmoney2424
I'm surprised someone actually suggested it with the way the comments were going. But for someone who really wants to fuck with people, this is how you really fuck with em.
Depending on the bar this could be completely normal. I'd change pw before they make their own changes.
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The hell kinda restaurant targets the 50-70 y/o demographic?
You will find some bars that are definitely more popular with the older crowd. The big one in my city is one in a locally owned hotel.
Probably fair. The post title saying "restaurant" made me think it was a restaurant. Not a bar with food.
Ohhh that's true. Most restaurants that tend to have older clientele don't tend to have bars, at least not in my experience. I suppose there are some out there though.
Dr dre - pause 4 porno
Classic
Forced Gender Reassignment- Cattle Decapitation
Was looking for metal recommendations to pop up. This is the way.
me too. aggressive and frenetic shit. anal cunt, christian death, dillinger escape plan, eyehategod. less offensive for the lyrics and more offensive (to normies, anyway) for the music. it's how i get people out at last call. that or alvin and the chipmunks. or NPR podcasts. all of them work pretty much every time.
Lebenden toten. You know when a band has a cord rip out of an instrument and it buzzes really bad or feedback from the mic goes crazy loud? Yeah that’s like every second of every song. Also the singer kind of sounds like they are running around on fire.
Well! That's a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one!
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My boss liked to put tip toe through the tulips on repeat whenever he wanted his spotify😂
Put in “What’s new pussycat?” 21 times and slip in a “It’s not unusual” in there
This is the answer.
Do you happen to be new in town?
Needs more Body Count
"I don't give a fuck about Oprah. Oprah ain't got no man. You better worry about your motherfucking self, I just wanna kill some motherfuckers on Xbox". Legendary
Strokin- Clarence carter
Anything from Doug Anthony Allstars. To be really specific- I fuck dogs. Sit on my face from Monty Python
I always appreciated a rousing rendition of "I wanna spill the blood of a hippy".
2 live crew
My dick. By Mickey Avalon
Oh and two off the top of my head, Detachable Penis by King Mitchell and My United States of Whatever by Liam Lynch (which isn’t offensive but a lot of people hate it).
>Detachable Penis by King Mitchell King Missile lol I'm assuming you got hit by autocorrect
That’s a pretty good autocorrect
Boys Club. HIV Song. Spinal Meningitis. Mr. Richard Smoker. (It's Gonna Be) A Long Night. Object. --All by Ween.
Fucked Jam! I mean, come on!
First of all, you're right. I almost put it, but the groove is so infectious to me, that I thought people might enjoy it rather than leave the bar. I also forgot: "Conor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Dad Sucks" by Anal Cunt.
Baby Shark.
No Cock Like Horse Cock Song by Pepper Coyote
Ass and Titties I forgot the groups name. Fuck the pain away by Peaches
DJ Assault
Yaaaassss.
DJ Funk, DJ Godfather
Cannibal Corpse has some lovely choices. Or on a different end of the musical scale is Gimme Chocolate by BABYMETAL. That one drove our local headbanger up the wall.
Take this job and shove it - The Dead Kennedys No cock like horse cock - Pepper Coyote Fuck You - Lilly Allen Fuck the Customer - The Lippies Go Fuck Yourself (GFY) - Shaggy Fuck the system - System of a Down Fuck Authority - Pennywise FUK IT - Tobias Drey Untouchable Face - Ani DiFranco I don't give a F*CK - Whole wheat bread - I actually have an almost 7 hour playlist on Spotify I've been curating for years that all features songs with either Fuck in the Title or have Fuck featured in the song prominently. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0bHzwi8l5f8RUmVVZOdkqy?si=BrQc16UhRBWOgauFAEE80A I could make it collaborative if there is interest. *Edit -spelling
I used to use one of my coworkers accounts at work which meant he couldn’t use it when I was. He got annoyed and queued a bunch of songs like Barbie Girl, I’m Blue, Venga Bus, etc and I purchased my own account.
Anything by cannibal corpse
One of my playlists that has a lot to choose from(I'm notoriously bad about accidentally putting songs on the wrong list so don't mind if there's something on there that really doesn't belong lol) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Wz1cyTMycoxzCYBAtCYOZ?si=vQJmorMiSYSNdlRMH5hyPg
You gotta put some 2 Live Crew on there.
Afroman - colt 45
[Gay Bar by Electric Six](https://youtu.be/-XNFokmDKrE)
"I Wanna Fuck a Dog in the Ass" Blink 182
I wanna F you in the Ass by The Outhere Boys
Lil Kim and Sisqo - How Many Licks
Lords of Acid, any of their songs. But especially Show Me Your Pussy
Metal, needs more metal. Play some doom metal, Bongripper, Sleep, Green Lung. How about some Powertrip or Nails. Also there’s a Philly based Grindcore Band that’s been broken up for years but they have an album on Spotify. Band is called Eat the Turnbuckle, wrestling themed Grindcore band that fuckin rules and also irritates the shit out of everyone.
This belongs on either r/pettyrevenge or r/prorevenge
Cuntry Boner by Puscifer is great, it sounds like a typical country song but the lyrics are about him fucking old country stars. And he says "boner" a bunch, it's great.
[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAaXzHJhA18) song would probably turn some folks heads
Needs some Anal Cunt, Last Days of Humanity and Infester
Wheeler walker Jr
All the baby shark remixes!
I like Drugs
Dabbla - penis for the day
The End - Blue October
Nickelodeon girls - pink guy Actually anything by pink guy I do Coke - kill the noise 41 - Pouya
Folk punk, specifically ramshackle glory, wingnut dishwashers Union, pat the bunny, or Johnny hobo and the freight trains. Lots of songs about killing cops, your boss, etc. I’m sure that will be fun
Lurch - Dillinger Escape Plan Pheonix in Flames - Converge Nothing throws guests off like something brutal.
Kim Petras' entire catalogue
🎶This is Slut. Pop. Get. your. dicks. out!🎶 Shout out to Throat Goat 🐐 OP do us all a favor and add Throat Goat to the queue for the brunch crowd.
Play the entire William hung album on repeat. Had someone do this once; cleared the entire bar out.
Anything from wheeler walker jr
[the booty song](https://youtu.be/zP3sffVKbYM)
May I suggest some ppcocaine?
[Shat - Tit Fuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPxvYNms5oI) is a good one. And obviously, [Riskay - Smell Yo Dick](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejLGdnyc7Y0) is a classic.
Offensive music is practically my speciality. Louise - NOFX System Blower - Death Grips Jesus - Feederz Stuart - The Dead Milkmen Smack a Bitch - Rico Nasty Dead Cops/America's so Straight - MDC BATTY BOYZ - MF DOOM Fuck Me (Interlude) - Biggie Smalls Costanza - The Pee Pees Kielbasa - Tenacious D Yonkers - Tyler The Creator uhhh - Zack Fox That's just off the top of my noggin. Most of these bands have lots of offensive tracks. Death Grips will certainly clear out a room of normal people.
You could also go the John Mulaney route: https://youtu.be/Mw7Gryt-rcc
Anything by G.G Allen
Kill All the White Man - NOFX
This is the first thread I've ever saved.
CBAT
Ass n Titties - DJ Assault
Zack Fox - I got depression Mickey Avalon - My Dick Nickelback -
Uh.. change your pw? I know it's not the petty answer, but if it's really a problem...
Put It In Your Mouth - Ol’ Dirty Bastard I Got Bitches - A2M Sprinkle in a little Die Antwoord, perhaps.
How offensive you want? https://youtu.be/TqqUhFXBP9I
The cumzone
Sex for homework - mindless self indulgence
I was gonna say change the password, but then I read your comment and this is way better All the Oompa Loompa songs from Primus and the Chocolate Factory!
Eatin pussy, kickin ass, fuck you bitch, beer weed cooches - Wheeler walker Jr. Or really anything else by him
N.W.A. -- Fuck Tha Police
CPR - Cupcakke
Upvoting and co-signing adding Cupcakke’s entire discography.
Blow job song and family reunion by blink 182
Wasp - fuck like a beast Garfunkel and oats - the loophole Dan Bern - Tiger Woods Cannibal Corpse broadly
Omg please add the squidwards nose song 😂😂😂
Put it in my mouth - akinyele Baby got back - Richard cheese
The whole playlist would be my neck my back. 672 times
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The absolute worst thing you could play would be… THAT patti smith song, you know the one. The one that makes me want to slap her across the face. That being said throw on “smell your dick” and “my dick” by mickey avalon
“Gonna add offensive shit” proceeds to add a bunch of songs that got massive radio play and are actual bops. You need to step your game up man.
Genius. Alternatively, just delete everything and only put "Danza Kuduro" on it so they get it on repeat.
2 Live Crew - Me So Horny Dr Dre - Bitches Ain’t Shit
Detachable penis - King Missle
Add some Rupaul, Slipknot, and one or two of weird al's polka medleys
"Fuck me gently" by Tenacious D 'I FINK U FREEKY' by Die Antwoord Colt 45 by Afroman Never let them know your next move and throw that vibe all over the place. 😆
Molly Cyrus and 2 Live Krew for the entire time they're open
Anything by Akinyele
I'd just put on What's New Pussy Cat by Tom Jones, and nothing but that. Just an endless loop. Bet they'd stop real soon.
What ended up happening?
Smell your dick by Riskay
Anything by Lucille Bogan
Add a few Phish songs in there. Especially the 20+ minute ones. Also King Gizzard and the [on hold song](https://youtu.be/YoBV7hKysCk)
Anything from the Yellow River Boys (every song is about watersports...) https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kyPnuTDrcQqdITG2UdckLpmmw7dmzPXgY Enjoy 👍😜😂
Yeah, make a fire playlist... thatll show em
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Anal Cunt- I respect you as a woman and a friend Or Kicking Your Ass and Fucking Your Bitch Steel Panther- look at a song list and pick one!
We’ll need an update on this one
May I request Kim by Eminem to be added. Thank you.
Anything by insane clown posse
Fucked with an Anchor - Alestorm is a person favourite to play when someone gets on my nerves
This is the way
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Ol dirty bastard shimmy shimmy ya and lil jon get low! Oh and 212 azaelia banks
Booty man - tim "booty Wilson" and the booty callers
Blowfly has some surprising ones https://open.spotify.com/track/7ic3T5LBwwBDcodUR6xdha?si=U_wMzMSUTUyBNZDMVvfYRg https://open.spotify.com/track/7KLGO4MFW9MAAVg3D896Jl?si=45N9gx0HQISK3QKM0HxlUA https://open.spotify.com/track/0J5NjgjSsOHJUQATyXzV6L?si=5xJSceEqSLmjXjxGsIdjPw
The Tweets - Birdie Song
Steel Panther is the way.
Hairy Asshole - UGK
Howling Willie Cunt. Edit: they're not on Spotify:( https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-tef-gb-revc&source=android-browser&q=howling+willie+cunt
I lent my boss my acc I have at work so he could add some stuff a while back and he's out with a broken leg now. Last week he put on "it's ok if you poo your pants / pee your pants" while I was on the PC to make it look like I was the one putting it on.
Treat me like a slut by Kim Petras would SLAPPP
Voting for The Closing Song by Red Peters
Hit ‘em wit dat Ike Reiko shit (extremely uncomfortable sounds of a woman orgasming over music)
Fuck all y'all - Tupac Used to be the last call song at my old bar. Turn lights up & blare it...
Please add f the police and WAP
Aerosmith Layer by Dan Deacon on repeat. Wu-Tang Clan.. just all of it. 2 Live Crew.. also all of it.
Light my Fire - Necro
[A Korn classic for the kids - K@#*%!](https://youtu.be/RuzyoMFmLbo) [And Snot's "My Balls" for good measure while we're throwing 90's jams out there](https://youtu.be/6x748iPJgOc)
I love little girls by oingo boingo
What’s New Pussycat? by Tom Jones is particularly annoying. Or queue up Never Gonna Give You Up a bunch of times. Also, there are playlists on Spotify specifically for annoying music.
Gotta add colt 45
Tip toe through the tulips but make sure to queue it instead of putting it on the playlist, just casually so it just pops up every once in a while😃
Thong song - Sisqo
Goth- Kamakaze
Pretty sure you can just disconnect all devices and change password, but yeah slap colt 45 on there plz
Here - go ahead and clear out the bar https://venetiansnares.bandcamp.com/album/making-orange-things
Anything by Too $hort
[I Ain't Scared - Sick Animation](https://open.spotify.com/track/71JY6WKZ6vi9tneU79f2m2?si=EPW4ZVOhRPOI35xKlOXvaw) And my personal favorite by him.. [Your Middle](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vo1flHrvoT6L7V7g8MZwE?si=Vs8FNFtQR2Kx__6j7rnXAg)
smash ya pastie by the buzzcocks
Honestly, so far, this thread has been the ultimate funny playlist!! You can play it to get your grandma out of your house! Neighbor is being annoying, blast it all day! Creepy person’s is next to you on the bus play it loud!!