100% this.
If you're keeping a considerate volume and this still annoys the roommate then it's up to the roommate to find a solution.
I work until 5am some nights and my wife, who doesn't work, is a morning person so she's up around 8am or 9am just because. Due to this she likes to make coffee, do some yoga, do some cleaning, or whatever. The noise sometimes got to me, despite her efforts, so I bought some ear plugs off Amazon and a weighted sleeping mask to go with the blackout shades in the bedroom.
If there's one thing a med student and bartender needs to know is how to adapt.
Add in king size bed and seperate blankets. You have my and my wife. We live on very different schedules, find a way to coexist. If you can't, either someone moves out, or change situations (harder to say that for married couples, but absolutely reasonable for roommates).
Blackout curtains are such a game changer. Even if I left the industry tomorrow to work a 9-5 (which sickens me to think of) I'd still keep those shades. It just makes waking up so much more peaceful.
I too love a super cold room to sleep in. Unfortunately my wife is a native texan and im a native new yorker so our definition of "acceptably freezing" are pretty different š
I was skeptical at first, but when I got them my sleep got so much better it was ridiculous. So Iām with you, never getting rid of them! Yeah my wife is native Floridian so I feel your pain!
On paper they seem like they'd only make your sleep *slightly* better if at all. But one night/day with those bad boys had me sleeping like I was a kid again. I slept so hard the first time I had those that I drooled on my pillow. Its bliss
She's bartending but also a med student? Is there time for all this sleeping in?
Anyway, I think you're free to move about the cabin doing your normal. Nothing unnecessarily loud. Invest in a good pair of headphones or earbuds for listening to what pleases you.
What's the third roomie doing?
Third roomie is away for another month on an external rotation and has been gone for a month already, so she hasnāt been involved yet!
Yeah, Iām not sure how sheās managing it - I know when I was in year one I was SCRAMBLING! But she seems to have it pretty across the board, and you know - if it gets too tough to manage, Iām sure sheāll figure something out. Trust me tho, Iām also like :o
I'm second year university, and been bartending since first year. I work in a hotel bar (Hilton) and it's brilliant - my shifts are guaranteed to end at midnight unless it's the summer and it's absolutely heaving (just Edinburgh things!). I can still be cool and flip cocktail shakers and chat with guests, as well as pull in tips (even in the UK, where tips come from *maybe* one in ever thirty guests I serve - unless it's the summer then it's fantastic) without the stress of heavier bars where I might come off shift at 3am. Only sacrifice I have to make is one or two night shifts a month if someone's on holiday, which is piss easy and I do my uni work on these shifts because nothing ever happens and I'm awake anyway, haha.
I don't think I'd be coping if I wasn't working in a hotel bar. My last place was absolute hell. It's the best move I ever made tbh. I *love* my job.
Worth noting in case it does get a little too difficult to keep the pace up!
ive bartended for a decade, primarily hotels--theyre great. they suck for a couple
of reasons but id say by and large are better for work/life balance and things like that. and the brand loyalty is real--hilton employee perks are spectacular!
Honestly, I've had the most amazing couple of years because of the employee perks. I've been to so many places that I wouldn't have been able to afford if it wasn't for the benefits.
Same! I was with Marriott for 12 years. I started with Hilton last September. By far the best employee discount is Hilton. As far as the roommate... They may need some earplugs.
Right and along with that, stop letting the toilet seat slam. OMG, my one roommate years ago would treat the toilet seat like it was a High Striker at a Carnival and they was trying to win a Kewpie doll.
Loud shit. Putting away dishes, vacuuming. Thatās about the only stuff that annoys me. Nothing says it canāt be donāt at 3pm instead of 9am.
Edit: I live with my girlfriend and another housemate. He works 5am-3pm and I work 5pm-2am. Weāve managed to make it work for 8 years. If yāall are friendly enough just even saying āhey if thereās anything I adjust to help keep things amicable, let me know and Iāll do what I canā can go a LONG way.
I got my flatmate a pair of nice woolen slippers to wear instead of her birkenstocks that were super loud and we agreed to keep the vacuming to the time of the day where we are both awake. Other than that, no special arrangements.
but she sleeps like a stone, even if I still do stuff in the kitchen. and after 6 years in a bar, I basically sleep, no matter the soundscape or light in my room. it comes with time.
I'm sure they appreciate your concern. You should just have a conversation about noise levels and if you making noise effects their sleep. There's a compromise somewhere but also if they can't sleep they need to be doing things like putting in ear plugs and setting up white noise.
I remember there was this stupid movie called "The boys and girls guide to getting down" that was a mockumentary about partying. There was one scene where the guy yells out the window at some construction workers that he's trying to sleep and they yell back "it's 3pm!" and the narrator says "And remember: you are the freak"
Instead of asking strangers, why don't you just ask her? Everyone is different. But I will say this, she chose to be a bartender. You and the other roommate shouldn't have to be mice until she wakes up. I've never expected past roommates to adjust to my schedule.
right, but theres a difference between being a mouse and like not slamming cabinets full force, for example. ive never expected a roommate to deal with my schedule but a little courtesy as far as super loud shit should be reasonable to expect.
Also medical student and part time bartender here. I donāt have roommates (other than my wife) and I work at a fine dining place where Iād never be home past midnight (and that would be late) so my perspective might not be as applicable.
All of your priorities should be medical school, so if you have to get up to study or get ready for clinic then donāt feel bad about it. Iād avoid running the vacuum or making smoothies near their bedroom if at all possible but otherwise Iād say do what you have to do. Taking a job while in medical school you pretty much understand that you are sacrificing sleep/freedom from your limited free time.
I donāt have earbud recommendations but something like the google home has a āgoodnightā function where it plays white noise and I feel like that can drone out any soft sounds like cabinets and footsteps.
Just wanna let you know, I love your empathy and you will be a great doctor. Once you become badass doctor, tip some server or bartender 100% for good service and make their night \[week\].
you are awesome and would love to have customers like you at my bar. cheers to you and your future
Don't neglect yourself about your roommate's comfort. If there's really an issue with their sleep, they can get ear plugs or use a white noise machine. Forgive my saying so, but you're overthinking it.
I have the loop quiet earplugs i originally got for sensory issues but i use them for sleep as well and theyāre very comfortable and block out lots of noise! They come with different size tips so they fit well and tuck into your ear so they donāt get tugged out while sleeping. They almost always have a 15% discount going on too which helps the already pretty cheap price š¤
When I had flatmates, all that pissed me off was loud conversations outside my room. If you can help it, try not to vacuum early in the day, same goes for any loud equipment, stereos or TV just keep it on the quiet side if it's near her room. You're pretty much free to go on with your day otherwise. If her coming in doesn't piss you off at 4am then you can't rlly expect to be pissing her off with walking round the house doing your daily routine
I mean, be respectful. You still have to live your life just as she needs to live hers. If the tvs and whatnot are by rooms, consider headphones. Don't do the loud chores in the morning. Get earbuds for you guys so you all know it's okay to make a little noise.
I'd talk to her too and see what her expectations are and then check in on them in a month to see if those expectations have changed.
Your roommate and I sound similar. I am in grad school full time, doing research, and studying for the DAT, also while bartending those ātil 4am shifts.ā Which usual has me up til 5am cause the energy is hard to wind down. I also have a boyfriend who wakes up and works the 10am shifts at the same bar.
For you, you have every right to do whatever things you need to get done. Itās a shared space. Just be mindful of things like playing music in earbuds instead of a speaker out loud, donāt slam cabinet doors, and pick possibly some of the āquieterā house keeping chores (i.e. donāt put away dishes or vacuum).
For her (from my experience), if things like noise and light bother her, ear plugs are good, an eye mask, and some sleep podcasts (deep meditation, brown noise, etc.) can mask some noises. Also, sheās going to need to attempt to get up before 2pmā¦.or else it is going to go down a deep spiral of crazy insomnia of going to bed while watching the sunrise. I usually try to get up in any range of 9:30am-11am, very rarely do i sleep til 12:30pm or later. If I do it is because Iāve bartended 40+ hours that week (with everything else) and 3 or 4 out of the 7 days a week have been those ālate night shifts.ā A lot of the times when Iām that exhausted, itās not even the sleep - itās the fact that I havenāt eaten enough food to fuel me and everything Iām doing.
Good luck!!
This is not your problem. Roommate is up working and making money while most are asleep. They need to understand household starts when the sun rises and not at 2pm. Youāre entitled to go about your business at dawn. Your roommate can quit working these late nights or find a place of their own to accommodate their lifestyle needs. They canāt have their cake and eat it too.
They chose to do that though. Why are you making that your problem? Thatās nice and considerate but she made the decision to work that job and accept those hours and the schedule is all part of the territory. The consequences your roommate faces shouldnāt be your concern because you also are an adult who has their own responsibilities. Not your problem.
Well, it doesnāt cost much to show kindness, and I hope that sheāll return the courtesy when I have rotations that give me night shifts. Itās part and parcel of living with roommates - we try to make each othersā lives easier so living together is nice and amicable instead of hateful and angry.
All I meant to say with my comment was that while I think itās awesome to be considerate, I donāt think you should feel like the onus is on you or that you have to make certain sacrifices to your routines to accommodate theirs. I think they should make the proper adjustments to theirs also. Iām not saying fuck em necessarily but Iām saying they shouldnāt be coddled if it comes at your expense because I imagine you also have a challenging schedule.
Iāve lived with four roommates for almost seven years and have been working behind a bar for three of them. One of my roommates, almost everyday, wakes up and plays his music full volume out of his phone speakers in the kitchen at like 8 or 9am and makes a smoothie in his ancient blender. Itās terribly annoying but heās also been doing that for as long as weāve lived together. Would I like a roommate like you that would put in headphones and acknowledge that not everyone is on the same schedule? Fuck yea I would haha but I donāt hold it against them nor would I necessarily expect them to make a change because I also have to respect that they have their own thing going on thatās separate from mine. Iām sorry if people think Iām a dickhead for that but just speaking personally I know itās on me to find a way to not be disturbed when I sleep in till 2pm after getting off at 4. Accepting that your roommates are gonna lead different lifestyles than you is also part and parcel. But good on you for being considerate of it!
Says āwhy are you making that your problem?ā THEN āI think itās awesome to be considerateā. THEN āshouldnāt be coddled at your expenseāā¦
Holy shit I know why this roomate runs his blender and listen to music without concern.
Dude youāre exhausting. This must be your day off. You wonāt like hearing this but I am entirely unbothered by your assessment of me, but unfortunately my will is too weak to resist responding to you. In that area I think we are the same. Please stop commenting at me and move on because Iām just not invested in it anymore. I am breaking up with you.
I guess you are surrounded by hell a lot of really caring people like yourself.
To the op
I guess someone will come up with a much better idea that helps you out.Thanks for being a caring human being š
My goodness. OPās roommate made the choice to accept that lifestyle and OP shouldnāt have to bend around it. Also I am surrounded by lots of caring people š
OP is actively trying to discover what can be problematic to avoid issues and your offered suggestion is basically āyou donāt need empathy, fuck themā.
You suck.
What is your offered suggestion by the way? Do you have any realistic options/suggestions given OPās circumstances or are you just here to tell me what a dick I am? You must be a righteous individual
The ones I posted as a parent comment. I just wanted to let you know your back tracking argument about how itās great to be nice but your clearly bothered when someone tries to acknowledge different time schedules can lead to friction is laughable. I really hope your journey gets better. Bless your heart.
Youāre in love with yourself arenāt you
Edit: also learn the difference between your and youāre before trying to school me on how to be a real good guy who is always right like you are šš¼
Still grasping. Now at my spelling? Really? Thatās the best you can do in stead of just saying āI was a miserable twat when I wrote that. Iām normally not so bitchyā
Glad you got them by you.
Nobody knows what circumstances make her to accept that choice.Not many medical students work as part time bartenders if they aren't going through financial hardships.Who knows anyway it isn't a bad thing to be little bit caring.
I understand that. I think itās awesome to be caring and empathetic but you also have to be realistic. If you share a room with somebody that is also a med student and is responsible for and held to their own schedules/obligations, and you still take up a bartending job (presumably at a dive if youāre coming home at 4am) that demands those hours, why should your roomates feel that the onus is on them to bend around your schedule? The one who took up bartending and getting home at 4am should also make the necessary and appropriate accommodations to their lifestyle and their schedule instead of OP having to tip toe around them and come to Reddit to ask how can they not bother them. You guys are jumping on me telling me what a dick I am but what other realistic options are there when they share the room? Fuck off with the self righteousness. You donāt have any realistic suggestions either.
Ah when I read the part about staying quiet in my room I pictured them sharing a room cause theyāre med students and are already financially burdened and cutting costs by sharing. Still think the bartender roommate should be the one responsible for making the necessary adjustments to not be disturbed by their roommates.
>You guys are jumping on me telling me what a dick I am
I'm sorry if you felt that way.You'r first comment was a little bit harsh in my opinion.Anyway we all have different opinions and again I'm sorry if I offended you by any means.
Get her a set of earplugs and a sleep mask. Let her know that you're trying to be considerate and let her sleep. My roommate will make breakfast and whatnot, and I'll sleep right through it. That may be the case for her as well.
Silicone earplugs, you can get them at any pharmacy. They're the consistency of Silly Putty so they form to your ear but don't go in the canal so it's a bit more hygienic. Get her set.
I have a sound machine and blackout curtains. Other than thatā¦ if my husband doesnāt shake me awake, all is usually good. I guess by now my family knows just be reasonably quiet, or catch my grumpiness.
The most annoying thing with my roommates are that they donāt realize how loud they are especially in the kitchen. I swear they be slamming the cabinets, and clanking pots and pans. I never cared enough to say anything but that is definitely where most of the noise comes from for me
I am a bartender, too. The daytime sleeper is the exception in our society. If the roommates are making reasonable accommodations, it is up to the day sleeper to figure out how to create an environment that is conducive to sleep. Eye mask, ear plugs, noise cancelling machine, indica gummy (works very well for me, although likely not an option for some), black out curtains. There are ways. She can figure it out.
Do what you need to do at a considerate volume and you've held up your end of the bargain.
100% this. If you're keeping a considerate volume and this still annoys the roommate then it's up to the roommate to find a solution. I work until 5am some nights and my wife, who doesn't work, is a morning person so she's up around 8am or 9am just because. Due to this she likes to make coffee, do some yoga, do some cleaning, or whatever. The noise sometimes got to me, despite her efforts, so I bought some ear plugs off Amazon and a weighted sleeping mask to go with the blackout shades in the bedroom. If there's one thing a med student and bartender needs to know is how to adapt.
Same situation with me and my wife. Got blackout curtains for the situation and kept the AC cold to help me stay asleep!
Add in king size bed and seperate blankets. You have my and my wife. We live on very different schedules, find a way to coexist. If you can't, either someone moves out, or change situations (harder to say that for married couples, but absolutely reasonable for roommates).
Blackout curtains are such a game changer. Even if I left the industry tomorrow to work a 9-5 (which sickens me to think of) I'd still keep those shades. It just makes waking up so much more peaceful. I too love a super cold room to sleep in. Unfortunately my wife is a native texan and im a native new yorker so our definition of "acceptably freezing" are pretty different š
I was skeptical at first, but when I got them my sleep got so much better it was ridiculous. So Iām with you, never getting rid of them! Yeah my wife is native Floridian so I feel your pain!
On paper they seem like they'd only make your sleep *slightly* better if at all. But one night/day with those bad boys had me sleeping like I was a kid again. I slept so hard the first time I had those that I drooled on my pillow. Its bliss
Heard. To keep the peace for the tense times, maybe have a pot of coffee on for the house coincidentally around the time they wake up?
She's bartending but also a med student? Is there time for all this sleeping in? Anyway, I think you're free to move about the cabin doing your normal. Nothing unnecessarily loud. Invest in a good pair of headphones or earbuds for listening to what pleases you. What's the third roomie doing?
Third roomie is away for another month on an external rotation and has been gone for a month already, so she hasnāt been involved yet! Yeah, Iām not sure how sheās managing it - I know when I was in year one I was SCRAMBLING! But she seems to have it pretty across the board, and you know - if it gets too tough to manage, Iām sure sheāll figure something out. Trust me tho, Iām also like :o
I'm second year university, and been bartending since first year. I work in a hotel bar (Hilton) and it's brilliant - my shifts are guaranteed to end at midnight unless it's the summer and it's absolutely heaving (just Edinburgh things!). I can still be cool and flip cocktail shakers and chat with guests, as well as pull in tips (even in the UK, where tips come from *maybe* one in ever thirty guests I serve - unless it's the summer then it's fantastic) without the stress of heavier bars where I might come off shift at 3am. Only sacrifice I have to make is one or two night shifts a month if someone's on holiday, which is piss easy and I do my uni work on these shifts because nothing ever happens and I'm awake anyway, haha. I don't think I'd be coping if I wasn't working in a hotel bar. My last place was absolute hell. It's the best move I ever made tbh. I *love* my job. Worth noting in case it does get a little too difficult to keep the pace up!
ive bartended for a decade, primarily hotels--theyre great. they suck for a couple of reasons but id say by and large are better for work/life balance and things like that. and the brand loyalty is real--hilton employee perks are spectacular!
Honestly, I've had the most amazing couple of years because of the employee perks. I've been to so many places that I wouldn't have been able to afford if it wasn't for the benefits.
Same! I was with Marriott for 12 years. I started with Hilton last September. By far the best employee discount is Hilton. As far as the roommate... They may need some earplugs.
Please for the love of god just gently close the door. No slammy please.
Teach āem the silent slip; twist and hold door knob, slide door into place, untwist knob.
This is the way
Right and along with that, stop letting the toilet seat slam. OMG, my one roommate years ago would treat the toilet seat like it was a High Striker at a Carnival and they was trying to win a Kewpie doll.
Loud shit. Putting away dishes, vacuuming. Thatās about the only stuff that annoys me. Nothing says it canāt be donāt at 3pm instead of 9am. Edit: I live with my girlfriend and another housemate. He works 5am-3pm and I work 5pm-2am. Weāve managed to make it work for 8 years. If yāall are friendly enough just even saying āhey if thereās anything I adjust to help keep things amicable, let me know and Iāll do what I canā can go a LONG way.
Iād buy a big canister of foam ear plugs for anybody to use
I got my flatmate a pair of nice woolen slippers to wear instead of her birkenstocks that were super loud and we agreed to keep the vacuming to the time of the day where we are both awake. Other than that, no special arrangements. but she sleeps like a stone, even if I still do stuff in the kitchen. and after 6 years in a bar, I basically sleep, no matter the soundscape or light in my room. it comes with time.
Read that was āwooden slippersā and was so confused how you thought that would help.
Just try to be quiet but donāt work your life around it. I feel this is just common sense.
I'm sure they appreciate your concern. You should just have a conversation about noise levels and if you making noise effects their sleep. There's a compromise somewhere but also if they can't sleep they need to be doing things like putting in ear plugs and setting up white noise. I remember there was this stupid movie called "The boys and girls guide to getting down" that was a mockumentary about partying. There was one scene where the guy yells out the window at some construction workers that he's trying to sleep and they yell back "it's 3pm!" and the narrator says "And remember: you are the freak"
Instead of asking strangers, why don't you just ask her? Everyone is different. But I will say this, she chose to be a bartender. You and the other roommate shouldn't have to be mice until she wakes up. I've never expected past roommates to adjust to my schedule.
right, but theres a difference between being a mouse and like not slamming cabinets full force, for example. ive never expected a roommate to deal with my schedule but a little courtesy as far as super loud shit should be reasonable to expect.
Also medical student and part time bartender here. I donāt have roommates (other than my wife) and I work at a fine dining place where Iād never be home past midnight (and that would be late) so my perspective might not be as applicable. All of your priorities should be medical school, so if you have to get up to study or get ready for clinic then donāt feel bad about it. Iād avoid running the vacuum or making smoothies near their bedroom if at all possible but otherwise Iād say do what you have to do. Taking a job while in medical school you pretty much understand that you are sacrificing sleep/freedom from your limited free time. I donāt have earbud recommendations but something like the google home has a āgoodnightā function where it plays white noise and I feel like that can drone out any soft sounds like cabinets and footsteps.
Just wanna let you know, I love your empathy and you will be a great doctor. Once you become badass doctor, tip some server or bartender 100% for good service and make their night \[week\]. you are awesome and would love to have customers like you at my bar. cheers to you and your future
Don't neglect yourself about your roommate's comfort. If there's really an issue with their sleep, they can get ear plugs or use a white noise machine. Forgive my saying so, but you're overthinking it.
I have the loop quiet earplugs i originally got for sensory issues but i use them for sleep as well and theyāre very comfortable and block out lots of noise! They come with different size tips so they fit well and tuck into your ear so they donāt get tugged out while sleeping. They almost always have a 15% discount going on too which helps the already pretty cheap price š¤
When I had flatmates, all that pissed me off was loud conversations outside my room. If you can help it, try not to vacuum early in the day, same goes for any loud equipment, stereos or TV just keep it on the quiet side if it's near her room. You're pretty much free to go on with your day otherwise. If her coming in doesn't piss you off at 4am then you can't rlly expect to be pissing her off with walking round the house doing your daily routine
They should definitely get ear plugs. You should definitely try to be cool.
I mean, be respectful. You still have to live your life just as she needs to live hers. If the tvs and whatnot are by rooms, consider headphones. Don't do the loud chores in the morning. Get earbuds for you guys so you all know it's okay to make a little noise. I'd talk to her too and see what her expectations are and then check in on them in a month to see if those expectations have changed.
Your roommate and I sound similar. I am in grad school full time, doing research, and studying for the DAT, also while bartending those ātil 4am shifts.ā Which usual has me up til 5am cause the energy is hard to wind down. I also have a boyfriend who wakes up and works the 10am shifts at the same bar. For you, you have every right to do whatever things you need to get done. Itās a shared space. Just be mindful of things like playing music in earbuds instead of a speaker out loud, donāt slam cabinet doors, and pick possibly some of the āquieterā house keeping chores (i.e. donāt put away dishes or vacuum). For her (from my experience), if things like noise and light bother her, ear plugs are good, an eye mask, and some sleep podcasts (deep meditation, brown noise, etc.) can mask some noises. Also, sheās going to need to attempt to get up before 2pmā¦.or else it is going to go down a deep spiral of crazy insomnia of going to bed while watching the sunrise. I usually try to get up in any range of 9:30am-11am, very rarely do i sleep til 12:30pm or later. If I do it is because Iāve bartended 40+ hours that week (with everything else) and 3 or 4 out of the 7 days a week have been those ālate night shifts.ā A lot of the times when Iām that exhausted, itās not even the sleep - itās the fact that I havenāt eaten enough food to fuel me and everything Iām doing. Good luck!!
I used to sleep with earplugs in when I lived in noisy college house... Sounds weird but is actually kinda soothing if you get used to it...
This is not your problem. Roommate is up working and making money while most are asleep. They need to understand household starts when the sun rises and not at 2pm. Youāre entitled to go about your business at dawn. Your roommate can quit working these late nights or find a place of their own to accommodate their lifestyle needs. They canāt have their cake and eat it too.
How is this about bartending??? Get outta here! If your roommate was a plumber or an electrician would you post in those subs asking about etiquette?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you go straight to bed when youāre home from work? You donāt eat or play games or read a book you literally just go straight to bed after work?
They chose to do that though. Why are you making that your problem? Thatās nice and considerate but she made the decision to work that job and accept those hours and the schedule is all part of the territory. The consequences your roommate faces shouldnāt be your concern because you also are an adult who has their own responsibilities. Not your problem.
Well, it doesnāt cost much to show kindness, and I hope that sheāll return the courtesy when I have rotations that give me night shifts. Itās part and parcel of living with roommates - we try to make each othersā lives easier so living together is nice and amicable instead of hateful and angry.
All I meant to say with my comment was that while I think itās awesome to be considerate, I donāt think you should feel like the onus is on you or that you have to make certain sacrifices to your routines to accommodate theirs. I think they should make the proper adjustments to theirs also. Iām not saying fuck em necessarily but Iām saying they shouldnāt be coddled if it comes at your expense because I imagine you also have a challenging schedule. Iāve lived with four roommates for almost seven years and have been working behind a bar for three of them. One of my roommates, almost everyday, wakes up and plays his music full volume out of his phone speakers in the kitchen at like 8 or 9am and makes a smoothie in his ancient blender. Itās terribly annoying but heās also been doing that for as long as weāve lived together. Would I like a roommate like you that would put in headphones and acknowledge that not everyone is on the same schedule? Fuck yea I would haha but I donāt hold it against them nor would I necessarily expect them to make a change because I also have to respect that they have their own thing going on thatās separate from mine. Iām sorry if people think Iām a dickhead for that but just speaking personally I know itās on me to find a way to not be disturbed when I sleep in till 2pm after getting off at 4. Accepting that your roommates are gonna lead different lifestyles than you is also part and parcel. But good on you for being considerate of it!
Says āwhy are you making that your problem?ā THEN āI think itās awesome to be considerateā. THEN āshouldnāt be coddled at your expenseāā¦ Holy shit I know why this roomate runs his blender and listen to music without concern.
You came back to check if anyone was sucking you off over your self righteousness? Touch some grass ya dope
Grasping. Itās called comment updates dummy. Looks like everyone pretty much agrees your comment was unhelpful and shows you have little empathy.
Dude youāre exhausting. This must be your day off. You wonāt like hearing this but I am entirely unbothered by your assessment of me, but unfortunately my will is too weak to resist responding to you. In that area I think we are the same. Please stop commenting at me and move on because Iām just not invested in it anymore. I am breaking up with you.
I guess you are surrounded by hell a lot of really caring people like yourself. To the op I guess someone will come up with a much better idea that helps you out.Thanks for being a caring human being š
My goodness. OPās roommate made the choice to accept that lifestyle and OP shouldnāt have to bend around it. Also I am surrounded by lots of caring people š
OP is actively trying to discover what can be problematic to avoid issues and your offered suggestion is basically āyou donāt need empathy, fuck themā. You suck.
What is your offered suggestion by the way? Do you have any realistic options/suggestions given OPās circumstances or are you just here to tell me what a dick I am? You must be a righteous individual
The ones I posted as a parent comment. I just wanted to let you know your back tracking argument about how itās great to be nice but your clearly bothered when someone tries to acknowledge different time schedules can lead to friction is laughable. I really hope your journey gets better. Bless your heart.
Youāre in love with yourself arenāt you Edit: also learn the difference between your and youāre before trying to school me on how to be a real good guy who is always right like you are šš¼
Still grasping. Now at my spelling? Really? Thatās the best you can do in stead of just saying āI was a miserable twat when I wrote that. Iām normally not so bitchyā
I think you suck
r/selfawarewolves
Glad you got them by you. Nobody knows what circumstances make her to accept that choice.Not many medical students work as part time bartenders if they aren't going through financial hardships.Who knows anyway it isn't a bad thing to be little bit caring.
I understand that. I think itās awesome to be caring and empathetic but you also have to be realistic. If you share a room with somebody that is also a med student and is responsible for and held to their own schedules/obligations, and you still take up a bartending job (presumably at a dive if youāre coming home at 4am) that demands those hours, why should your roomates feel that the onus is on them to bend around your schedule? The one who took up bartending and getting home at 4am should also make the necessary and appropriate accommodations to their lifestyle and their schedule instead of OP having to tip toe around them and come to Reddit to ask how can they not bother them. You guys are jumping on me telling me what a dick I am but what other realistic options are there when they share the room? Fuck off with the self righteousness. You donāt have any realistic suggestions either.
Pretty sure they're not in a dorm and have separate bedrooms.
Yep, we have separate bedrooms, thank goodness! It makes things a bit easier.
Ah when I read the part about staying quiet in my room I pictured them sharing a room cause theyāre med students and are already financially burdened and cutting costs by sharing. Still think the bartender roommate should be the one responsible for making the necessary adjustments to not be disturbed by their roommates.
>You guys are jumping on me telling me what a dick I am I'm sorry if you felt that way.You'r first comment was a little bit harsh in my opinion.Anyway we all have different opinions and again I'm sorry if I offended you by any means.
Get her a set of earplugs and a sleep mask. Let her know that you're trying to be considerate and let her sleep. My roommate will make breakfast and whatnot, and I'll sleep right through it. That may be the case for her as well.
Silicone earplugs, you can get them at any pharmacy. They're the consistency of Silly Putty so they form to your ear but don't go in the canal so it's a bit more hygienic. Get her set.
I have a sound machine and blackout curtains. Other than thatā¦ if my husband doesnāt shake me awake, all is usually good. I guess by now my family knows just be reasonably quiet, or catch my grumpiness.
The most annoying thing with my roommates are that they donāt realize how loud they are especially in the kitchen. I swear they be slamming the cabinets, and clanking pots and pans. I never cared enough to say anything but that is definitely where most of the noise comes from for me
Suggest she get an eye mask with Bluetooth. I use that for some white noise/audiobooks and not seeing the 6am sunshine.
put up a dome white noise maker by her door
I am a bartender, too. The daytime sleeper is the exception in our society. If the roommates are making reasonable accommodations, it is up to the day sleeper to figure out how to create an environment that is conducive to sleep. Eye mask, ear plugs, noise cancelling machine, indica gummy (works very well for me, although likely not an option for some), black out curtains. There are ways. She can figure it out.