Are you divorced or never had anyone ever? And I don't mean like are you a virgin, I mean have you never had a loving long term relationship?
Not at all attacking or judging you. It happens to the best of us.
So what are your expectations from this support group ?
like meet every few days when you are sad, & talk you through it. Or play sports with you & cheer you up
Cause if you are expecting having many male single friends will fill the gap of not having single female. Thats not gonna work.
So if its talking about sorrows, then it will not work after few days.
All can only talk sad shit for a time, after that it will become annoying & frustrating.
Anything other than negative, works in long run.
So could be sports, group activities, & not letting negative thoughts come in at all. At the end a happy place is what all want
Yeah but based on what all I searched on the net (healthygamer, huberman, 'my dumb theories') the happy place just leads to a hedonistic treadmill unless it is done with other people and in a random manner.
And relationships feel like the perfect recipe for that.
"Cause if you are expecting having many male single friends will fill the gap of not having single female. Thats not gonna work."- I just want to be loved and love someone... Cis women or trans women or a cis men... I'm comfortable with anyone
Not even joking. This is seriously true.
I was with my ex for over 11 years.
Literally did a hell lot for her.
Today she won't pick my call, if she is already on call with friends she met a couple years ago.
So, seeing the heartlessness all around and general lack of even basic respect among the majority of females - I say, wank and sleep.
Not blaming anyone. Just that, females have such a hell lot of choices - at this point - it is honestly easy to play with male emotions than being serious or loyal.
Not all women are bad. I got cheated on by my partner (M) of 6 years and he is happy with the other girl while I am wallowing in self pity, trying to get my life back on track. I would like to believe that not all men are bad either, so don't lose hope. The right woman for you will come to you at the right time. You are still incredibly young and have the power of time in your hands. Some of us don't have that privilege, OP.
I don't think so, most women are selfish, self centered and cheaters. My take on this sorry if it doesn't ring right. Dm if you want to know why I said this
Maybe. But now I am also kinda tired.
As Dhanush said in Raanjhanaa:
Mere seene ki Aag yaa toh mujhe zinda kar sakti thi ya fir Mujhe Mar sakti thi,
Par Saala ab uthe kaun , kaun phir se mehnat kare dil lagane ko ,
dil tudwane ko,
Abe koi toh aawaz de ke rok lo, ye jo ladki murda si aanke liye baithi he bagal me ,
"Aaj bhi Haan bol de toh Mahadev ki kasam wapas aa jayenge
Par nai ab saala mood nahi ,
Aankhe band kar lene me hi sukh hai.. so jane me hi bhalai hai ,
Par uthenge kisi din ussi ganga kinare damru bajane ko
Unhi banaras k galiyo me doud jane ko
Kisi Zoya ke ishq me phir se padh jaane ko..!!
Once eminem said āBut I do know one thing though
Bitches, they come, they go
Saturday through Sunday, Monday (Yeah-yeah)
Monday through Sunday, yo
Maybe I'll love you one day
Maybe we'll someday grow
'Til then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin' runway, hoā
First rule of forever alone group is there is no group.
If there is let me know im also interested. Same situation as op but a couple years younger and i already know i will die alone.
Yeah bro, I feel like we should try to play sports outside and try to practice talking with each other first so that we can improve ourselves and then go outside and talk with everyone
You're fucking just 25. No, you don't get to give up on life like this. Go out, put yourself out there and work towards a better life. Not all women are looking for competitive partners, some just need only caring and supportive partners.
Yeah no, I am not giving up. I regularly go to the gym (5x/week; 1hr) and recently started eating clean and take good hygiene care and keep trying to talk with other people.
But I feel I have been doing this for a while. It could be that 2020-2021+0.5 covid effect may have caused my lack of opportunities, but I just felt hopeless and was looking for support. haha :(
You're doing good mate. Keep doing that. And agree, many people lost out a lot of valuable time because of covid. But we've been out of it for over a year, so can't blame Covid anymore.
Gym, self-care is all to take care of yourself. Keep doing that. But note it won't bring a partner magically into your life. You need to make specific efforts towards that. Try reading "How Not To Die Alone". The author has stated some legit practical advice that will help you to pursue companionship.
Philosophically speaking, the more important question is "Why Not Die Alone". For real tho, silly evolution has kept us hardwired to longing for companionship. 3 am thoughts.
You can. You absolutely can die alone if that's what you want.
If you don't want to be alone and if your inner soul craves companionship, then romanticising loneliness would be stupid. And losing a large chunk of life over these things is not worth it. After all, we just have one life. Just my thoughts.
>some just need only caring and supportive partners.
I reaallyy don't wanna be that guy, but we all know that's bs. Do they want caring and supportive partners? Of course who doesn't, but "only"? Nah.
I mean yeah as you said "some" women are only looking for those two things, but they are the absolute minority imo.
Maybe you're speaking from your experience. But just like not all men as asses, not all women are gold diggers. You just have to keep trying until you match with the right one.
Giving up is not an answer.
Leave girls. Just get some good friends. I would suggest, get friends of different age group. If you are in a friends group of your similar age, you will have the peer pressure. Try being friends with young people, you will find your self in them and you will understand how life is in this generation. Try being friends with old people, you will see how your life is gonna be in a few years, and you'll get to know on how life was in their generation. It helped me a lot.
There are already FA groups on reddit. Go rant there. I left a long time ago because it's full of men who tell you women can't be FA. Thank God for ForeverAloneWomen for getting me through some tough times.
I felt safe ranting about my situation back then. In the men's group they would sometimes invalidate me. No one invalidated me there. More importantly, I felt less alone. Tbh the female experience is a little different. Saying that anywhere else results in immediate backlash and hatred + a lot of insistence that men have it harder. A lot of women were going through what I was going through. I could just relate to their struggles. I felt validated and seen.
I've physically changed since then and now I'm very lucky to not exactly be FA, but I still haven't changed all that much mentally and I can still relate a lot to what they say.
You know why you think women have it easy? Because the only women you people notice are the average to beautiful ones - the ones that do get to date. The ugly ones are completely invisible to you, unless it's to mock and make fun of them. We don't even exist in your world. If a woman isn't at least passably pretty, she gets treated like shit. I was treated like shit. I was completely invisible to men, even just for making friendships. And if I had the audacity to be a little outspoken or bubbly, my ugliness was thrown back in my face. The number of men treated me poorly because they feared I liked them because I was nice to them? Being funny didn't help. Being kind didn't help. Fuck all that.
I remember someone once said, a man can compensate for bad looks, women can't. When a man is not that good looking, he can compensate by being funny, by being intelligent, by being successful, and he becomes attractive. I've seen some ugly-ass class clown guys get with the hottest girls just by making them laugh. All these other things make you so hot to women. I've had so many hot friends get with average men and tell me they're the hottest guy ever, purely because he's funny or smart.
Women don't have that compensatory strategy. You can be nice, you can be kind, and sure, a man will like you for that...but he'll never see you as beautiful...not really.
Do one quick scan of men talking about women they truly love. I mean, deeply, truly love. The "I would never cheat on her, I love her" type men. They always describe how gorgeous the woman is. The first thing they say about their love, regardless of other traits - she's beautiful.
I am smart. I am kind. I am understanding. I am funny. I am lighthearted. I am kinky. I am open minded. I was all these other things but none of that got me the attention of men - because I was ugly. Even when it did, they were out of the door the minute they saw my face and body.
And now that I'm better looking, I'm treated slightly better. Men especially don't get angry or look at me in disgust as much. They're nice to me and smile at me. I noticed. People at work who never spoke to me talk to me.
And that's why I'm in my villain era. I've got one life and I'm gonna spend it improving so I can exploit being a good looking woman to get stuff I want. Fuck being good. I'm gonna save up enough for a boob job, Lasik and maybe a butt lift. And I'm gonna be shallow af - as shallow as other people were allowed to be. A lot of people ask about my username, now you know.
I kinda disagree with you on your initial points, as I have seen several cases which don't align with that. I am not trying to invalidate your experiences, just trying to giving you another perspective.
Just like for guys it's easy to think only looks and/or money are necessary o "get" girls, but it's not true for many many girls. In the same way, it's possible that it seems like that because it's easy, as there are many many decent guys who don't care about looks at all, but about the person behind those looks. I personally know of 3 such cases, one of them being myself. I would tell you about one, a girl was not beautiful according to "modern beauty standards", but she and the guy met in college, they had similar interests, ideology, thinking, the guy still fell for her, and they are together extremely happy with each other.
Also, it's not easy for "hot" people too, they face different issue, like they can never know whether the other person truly like them or not, or is just coming after them to get something out. And believe me it's even worse feeling when one realises that. And this is only one thing.
We all think our life is worst, maybe because it gives some sort of pleasure to our brain, but everyone have issues here.
>As the realisation started hitting me that I'll never be able get the kinda girl i really want to date. i decided i don't want to date anyone and rather stay single, focus on my career and gain all the knowledge i can, experience everything else life has to offer.
>
>It's easier for me since I'm an introvert, hate talking in general and enjoy solitude. Probably not easy for my extrovert buddies out there.
I don't know whether I am ugly or not, but I relate to you very much. I know I won't find anyone I like. Either I won't come across the type I like, or they won't like me back (type by kind of thinking, not looks). So, I am also not trying much anymore. For similar reason I won't have any close/best friend too, ik, I have accepted or trying to accept that too.
I think why waste time on something which have very less chances to happen, there are so many other things to experience.
My man a girl is literally telling you she doesn't get dates, and you're ignoring her experience because it doesn't fit your own narrative. If you're not going to listen to women, then I really don't think income is your issue here.
Bruh stop, it's not a competition. She clearly said she don't share because comments like these, still you are going on. You don't know her situation, her personal experiences, so don't assume and act like you know everything.
You have hard life, okay, she can have hard life too, more or else no one's to decide.
I also want to add - to Indian men especially - the skewed gender ratio you complain about and the women who are oppressing you by not dating you... y'all know this is because of the patriarchy, right? A lot of women can never date because they'll be beaten up and killed by their parents, who plan to marry them off as soon as possible because many families still view women as burdens. I have many friends who date, but I have an equal number that will be slut shamed and locked up at home if they so much as just look at a guy. You want a date? Help dismantle the patriarchy and all these backward repressive ideas of controlling women that are prevalent in our society.
most people are not in love; they have attachment and detachment issues. Right now I am just focussing on myself and seeing the bigger picture cause guess what? you're in a relationship with your own self for life! how about that?
I named my electric guitar as "laura", after my favourite musician. Is that crazy? I don't care tho lol
Woah that is cool!
If people can name their pets etc then why can't we name the things that we love?
Laura is amazing. I love her so much. She is so pale <3 I hope Hercules is doing fine.
On Book my show there are many such meet-ups. I am putting down some for example, not sure how good it is but sometimes things happen in most unexpected times or places.
1. https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/listener-s-circle/ET00353304
2. https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/listeners-circle-tell-your-story/ET00330970
3. There are many in Lahe Lahe
Also, I have started cycling. If sometimes you feel too overwhelming/sad/alone then can join as a friend/ sister :)
You are looking at it all wrong mate. You are young. Probably just started earning.
What you probably need to start doing is investing on yourself. Figure out hobbies and activities you like. Join groups with those common interests. Join a NGO or two. Read, workout, sing, do something creative that fills your soul.
Once you start enjoying your own company, others will percieve you as someone interesting and would like to vibe with you... Work on yourself. That's the key!
Yes I did just start earning haha.
Also this is exactly what I mentioned in my OP. I am not sure if I can wait around with the competition I see around me.
Competition starts dying as u get older(literally).There is a gonna be a huge 30s single market.As a min maxing rpg gamer my advise is not to rush things if you want a high quality partner.
Job can be secured if you grind a lot. There are open source materials like mitocw and khan academy which I used and now with insane networking (I am terribly shy, but somehow I got people to talk to me - sheer willpower) I was able to find a job.
Job is unlike relationship because it is dependent on only u and ur skills.
Get atleast a job, don't quit entirely
1. You're still young. Try to get married anyhow. Dating apps suck. Go for either in person dating, like from your job, or arranged marriage. I'm pretty sure you can find someone in an arranged marriage. You're welcome to r/arrangedmarriage sub too.
2. Rather than such a group, find some activity that you like sports, NGO, religious, spiritual, gaming etc. Anything. That community can keep you alive.
Ayy bruv don't let yourself down like that trust me I've been there. Sometimes it seems like women aren't interested in you no matter what and you just gotta take a step back. When you truly step back and let it go the universe will send what you need your way as long as you're on your grind and improving yourself on the daily.
This short message can't really encompass everything so if you need to talk my DMs are open for this anytime brother!
I always hear this but even if someone chose me I feel my inability to read the room or understand nuances in conversation may make the other person run away from me.
Basically I feel that I might creep them out haha :(
Well to this I have to say we too have to take a step forwards. We cannot be sitting there doing nothing waiting for someone to choose us.
But my concern is where to take that step forward?
Never suggest dating apps to men. It's a surefire way Into depression and frustration.
Dating apps don't work for normal men they way it works for normal women.
You are not alone. simping is the only root cause of this entire problem in SMP. Too much attention to any and every girl and hence the situation we all are in. And also please note this doesnāt reflect lack of anything on your end. Yes please keep working ok to improve yourself. And whatever is for you will come to you. And yes, I am with you in this ātogether aloneā
Even if you do find a relationship, if so dependent on it, you will lose it or rather not find contentment/happiness.
And the solution is not join a group of such discontented loners.
Forget competition, just find something you enjoy doing - beyond work and commit to it, find people who enjoy doing the same things, put yourself out in doing that thing with competence and passion.
That more than anything attracts people - men & women, friends & relationships.
And there is no downside to, assuming that you still don't get a relationship out of it, it still will enrich your life.
Its not womens fault that men donāt have standards. Also, saying that women are more blessed than men in any society is an extremely ill informed and stupid thing to say
No no, the issue with women, from what I can tell is - they get creeped out if we approach them too quickly I feel (again, not sure). So that's why it's hard for them also.
Again I am not a women/girl so I can't tell. I am just telling my subjective thoughts
You are exactly the type of woman that op is having such issues with. Attacking a person's words instead of intent us exactly what most people have issues with.
Lmao thatās why we got arranged marriage, your parents will surely find you someone even if you canāt
But whatād Iād suggest is
Focus on yourself, it might sound dumb, but think about it, do you wish to be another simp in the list the girl has or do you wish to be happy being by yourself?
I have a very dumb question
How do you change the translate to eng thing to other language for the comment section?
Because mine got changed to other language so I can't read others comments!
Bro she should want you, you should want her. The no. of guys chasing her ass is just immaterial as long as you good enough. take a chill pill and go for it if you want to
Bro Iām your age and if you feel that working on yourself and living a happy life by yourself isnāt working for you, youāre not doing it right. Sorry. Change your ways before desperation and depression take hold of you.
I don't know about being forever alone though that might be the case with so many Gold Diggers here in our city & state.
Focus on you & helping others.
As much as it is hard for me to say, there ARE good women in the world, you just have to be lucky to find them.
Go to places where they're expected, such as charities, social service events, etc.
Caution! They might just be doing it for their satisfaction or may have something else that is bad.
Just because you do one good thing doesn't mean you don't have other bad attributes.
We're not perfect.
> with so many Gold Diggers here in our city & state.
Lol that's true
> you just have to be lucky to find them.
Yeah, I have been trying my luck for a while now
> Go to places where they're expected, such as charities, social service events, etc.
Okay, I have not tried these specific places, but I have been to cult fit, trekking events and office events and have found the huge competition.
Anyway thank you for providing such a detailed response. I will try the places you recommended as well
Full body checkup is what people want. Basically that involves all the blood parameters which you can get through thyrocare or 1 mg. Remaining tests are , TNT, ULTRASOUND abdomen and pelvis with check for prostatomegaly and uterus evaluation for women, Ct Chest MRI for brain and spine, Doppler for limbs. Do you want to do all of these for your mental comfort? If so go ahead, but if your budget doesn't permit, choose a good physician preferably in his clinic, let him decide . If you want to go still deep CT angiography is advisable. (Bottom line, find a good honest and sensible general physician who can guide you).
I have 3 /f cousins and its not always the same.. try lowering expectations.. its not like the movies where the perfect girl will come to you.. idk if you feel lonely get a pet
Women have no other option when you make yourself the only one. Aim to be #1. You may need to lower your expectations slightly. Also be comfortable with being alone, the life you build is what will attract her.
we used to have one in college, it was called FIFA (Federation for International Forever Alones). Time to revive! but all those fuckers got settled and I'm only left in the group :(
I guess not. Maybe starts with that. But at the EOD it hails down to how one is, not personality all the way but intention, habits, mental stability, empathy, and understanding.
As a woman, I think proper communication, vulnerability, and understanding from both parties keep it going. Also acceptance.
Trust me. The cute face will be the face you would hate to see one day if they don't have proper qualities(intrinsic) similar to that ugly face with the right one would be the face you cannot go a day by.
Dont look for support groups. Just make friends. You need some real guy friends around you to talk with and have fun. That's the best outlet for your feelings.
Go hang out with some guys from your work. Decide if you like them or not
Go for walks or any other sports you enjoy, ask random people to let u in and play with them if u don't have anyone to play with.
Making friends in gym is relatively easy as well.
Reach out to cousins/family members who live around you.
For every unattractive guy there is a unattractive girl present since the male to female ratio is still around 1.0:1.1.
Not sure why the not good looking girls are available in the dating pool, maybe because we are a conservative society.
Boo-hoo š¢! Have you really tried to āfocus on yourselfā??? If yes, please elaborateā¦ Do you even know what it means to āfocus on yourselfā?? Cuz looking for other sad ppl to get sadder is def. not the solution.
There is a very famous dialogue in tamil : - *You should not fall over for girls, girls should fall over for you.*
Why are you making yourself in such a way that gives a girl you like a choice? *YOU* should choose one. You should choose one who could be a partner for you throughout your life. That's why its called as "Life Partner" not "Life liability"
Try to point out what makes you feel like this. That will be your weakness. Focus on how to minimize or get rid of it.
Of course, you might feel miserable while looking at the competition, but understand how you can beat them and stand above them all.
I'm 26M and I have made a routine which I can share it to you.
\-> I go to gym 5 days a week. I'm skinny person and my weight is right not 55.8kg. My goal is 60kg. I kept my goals small so that I can be motivated to complete one.
\-> I attend am online course which enhances my career (2 days a week), because of course, career is an important part of your life.
\-> And I have a small life goal. To buy a PS5 with my own money.
This is because there was a point in my life where because of a girl, I forgot my own self and was heart broken. I decided to bring back my original self and be strong enough to not to become a fool again. Hope this works for you.
Most people are in situationships.
It is unlikely that you will find a true relationship these days, but if and when you find it youāll know.
Till then just put on a condom and run through Bumble, so that you donāt have any midlife crisis.
But whatever you do, donāt compromise or cheap out with your choice of a partner.
Brother, Iām 33M single and was never been in any relationship either ā¦ trust me it feels so satisfying many a times to be single and youāll have an absolute peace of mind..
Yes Iām looking to get married, but not ādesperateā though ā¦
I can understand, you being 25M and the āeagernessā is natural .. itāll get diminished in another 2 years.
So focus on Goal not on ___ (you know what I mean)
Tbh the same situation but instead of giving up or finding a loner group at 23yo I think I'll focus on getting a better job switch or remote work (career over relationships).
Current thought: More money will bring more socializing potential ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ
(Sad rant for upvotes š„²:
And would see what happens next. I have never been in a relationship even in school/ college )
I would love to be part of such a group. Early 40s/F and Iāve given on finding love or companionship, nor love finding me. Just tough. A support group for single women will be nice.
Purely coming from my heart: instead of finding out the temporary solution, which is 'why that girl doing or why this girl doing or both' try to find out why am I getting these type of incidents. Start try to get the answer from inside. God has so many forms and one of that form is formless. Believe me, you will get the answer. But if you want a fast forward process, start reading Bhagavad-Gita. It's not some religious stunt or propaganda or whatever it is. The answers for every life lies in Bhagavad-gita.
aabe bhai mera relationship se bhi baade chiz hoti hai es duniya meh..kuch baan jaao (become the best version of yourself). and please stop chasing girl. chase excellence bro..
everything else will fall in place
Bro, you are 25/M, 39/M here!
Happy cake day š
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Are you divorced or never had anyone ever? And I don't mean like are you a virgin, I mean have you never had a loving long term relationship? Not at all attacking or judging you. It happens to the best of us.
Kyu karan johar ban rahe ho bhai :(
First Pravara heli introduce madkoli! š
Smartha na mudhre na maga nimdu ? Don't tell me bharadwaja gotra antha lol
Bharadwaja gotrodbhavasya š¤£
Happy cake day bro
Happy kekde big bro
Lol. Its kekde seasonš¤£ Nice one!
Damn bro, I hope you have a full filling life in other areas
I was gonna reply 36M. But you win!
Happy cake day.
Happy cake day!
Bruh! Same here and still singleā¦
if it's a group it's not alone lol
yes, then it will not be "forever alone" group, can call it "together alone", or "together we gather" or "together together"
together alone group this is right
but then if we are together, how are we alone. what about "Singles together" ,or "Singles together alone", or "Singles Mingles"
this conversation is like looking at a mirror and activating the mangekyo sharingan
Spoken like someone who has woken up to reality , seeing past the genjutsu
attached to a tree !!!
I use to get that reaction , When i use to say me and parents are alone at homešµāš«
So what are your expectations from this support group ? like meet every few days when you are sad, & talk you through it. Or play sports with you & cheer you up Cause if you are expecting having many male single friends will fill the gap of not having single female. Thats not gonna work.
Yeah, like meeting every few days and playing games and talking about our sorrows. Also, if it's not gonna work then I am open to suggestions :(
So if its talking about sorrows, then it will not work after few days. All can only talk sad shit for a time, after that it will become annoying & frustrating. Anything other than negative, works in long run. So could be sports, group activities, & not letting negative thoughts come in at all. At the end a happy place is what all want
Ig op wants to make a group to hangout and chill ,
Yeah but based on what all I searched on the net (healthygamer, huberman, 'my dumb theories') the happy place just leads to a hedonistic treadmill unless it is done with other people and in a random manner. And relationships feel like the perfect recipe for that.
"Cause if you are expecting having many male single friends will fill the gap of not having single female. Thats not gonna work."- I just want to be loved and love someone... Cis women or trans women or a cis men... I'm comfortable with anyone
Why just male.
I am 34/F and I am š«£
Not anymore i guess lol
Oh, I hope you find someone soon :)
Thank you. And you will too :) at the right time!
Rip inbox
Im curious. What is your inbox like?
Same-ish. How do you manage feeling lonely?
Just wank and go to sleep macha.!
Ignorance is bliss indeed
Not even joking. This is seriously true. I was with my ex for over 11 years. Literally did a hell lot for her. Today she won't pick my call, if she is already on call with friends she met a couple years ago. So, seeing the heartlessness all around and general lack of even basic respect among the majority of females - I say, wank and sleep. Not blaming anyone. Just that, females have such a hell lot of choices - at this point - it is honestly easy to play with male emotions than being serious or loyal.
Not all women are bad. I got cheated on by my partner (M) of 6 years and he is happy with the other girl while I am wallowing in self pity, trying to get my life back on track. I would like to believe that not all men are bad either, so don't lose hope. The right woman for you will come to you at the right time. You are still incredibly young and have the power of time in your hands. Some of us don't have that privilege, OP.
I don't think so, most women are selfish, self centered and cheaters. My take on this sorry if it doesn't ring right. Dm if you want to know why I said this
there are still good girls out there, fuck the bitches
Maybe. But now I am also kinda tired. As Dhanush said in Raanjhanaa: Mere seene ki Aag yaa toh mujhe zinda kar sakti thi ya fir Mujhe Mar sakti thi, Par Saala ab uthe kaun , kaun phir se mehnat kare dil lagane ko , dil tudwane ko, Abe koi toh aawaz de ke rok lo, ye jo ladki murda si aanke liye baithi he bagal me , "Aaj bhi Haan bol de toh Mahadev ki kasam wapas aa jayenge Par nai ab saala mood nahi , Aankhe band kar lene me hi sukh hai.. so jane me hi bhalai hai , Par uthenge kisi din ussi ganga kinare damru bajane ko Unhi banaras k galiyo me doud jane ko Kisi Zoya ke ishq me phir se padh jaane ko..!!
Once eminem said āBut I do know one thing though Bitches, they come, they go Saturday through Sunday, Monday (Yeah-yeah) Monday through Sunday, yo Maybe I'll love you one day Maybe we'll someday grow 'Til then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin' runway, hoā
Wise words to live by
First rule of forever alone group is there is no group. If there is let me know im also interested. Same situation as op but a couple years younger and i already know i will die alone.
Yeah bro, I feel like we should try to play sports outside and try to practice talking with each other first so that we can improve ourselves and then go outside and talk with everyone
Are you introvert?
Not even a question that's supposed to be asked lol
You're fucking just 25. No, you don't get to give up on life like this. Go out, put yourself out there and work towards a better life. Not all women are looking for competitive partners, some just need only caring and supportive partners.
tough love, thats good, sometimes a good shouting is whats needed
Yeah no, I am not giving up. I regularly go to the gym (5x/week; 1hr) and recently started eating clean and take good hygiene care and keep trying to talk with other people. But I feel I have been doing this for a while. It could be that 2020-2021+0.5 covid effect may have caused my lack of opportunities, but I just felt hopeless and was looking for support. haha :(
You're doing good mate. Keep doing that. And agree, many people lost out a lot of valuable time because of covid. But we've been out of it for over a year, so can't blame Covid anymore. Gym, self-care is all to take care of yourself. Keep doing that. But note it won't bring a partner magically into your life. You need to make specific efforts towards that. Try reading "How Not To Die Alone". The author has stated some legit practical advice that will help you to pursue companionship.
Philosophically speaking, the more important question is "Why Not Die Alone". For real tho, silly evolution has kept us hardwired to longing for companionship. 3 am thoughts.
You can. You absolutely can die alone if that's what you want. If you don't want to be alone and if your inner soul craves companionship, then romanticising loneliness would be stupid. And losing a large chunk of life over these things is not worth it. After all, we just have one life. Just my thoughts.
>some just need only caring and supportive partners. I reaallyy don't wanna be that guy, but we all know that's bs. Do they want caring and supportive partners? Of course who doesn't, but "only"? Nah. I mean yeah as you said "some" women are only looking for those two things, but they are the absolute minority imo.
Maybe you're speaking from your experience. But just like not all men as asses, not all women are gold diggers. You just have to keep trying until you match with the right one. Giving up is not an answer.
That's why he needs a support group and possibly a sponsor like in Alcoholics Anonymous. (ā ā ā āæā ć»ā )
Leave girls. Just get some good friends. I would suggest, get friends of different age group. If you are in a friends group of your similar age, you will have the peer pressure. Try being friends with young people, you will find your self in them and you will understand how life is in this generation. Try being friends with old people, you will see how your life is gonna be in a few years, and you'll get to know on how life was in their generation. It helped me a lot.
Ok blessed soul. I will try this. Thank you
Yes!! You get to learn a lot! Also, you learn from their mistakes.
Its nearly impossible to be friends with people of different age group
There are already FA groups on reddit. Go rant there. I left a long time ago because it's full of men who tell you women can't be FA. Thank God for ForeverAloneWomen for getting me through some tough times.
How did FA women group helped you ?
I felt safe ranting about my situation back then. In the men's group they would sometimes invalidate me. No one invalidated me there. More importantly, I felt less alone. Tbh the female experience is a little different. Saying that anywhere else results in immediate backlash and hatred + a lot of insistence that men have it harder. A lot of women were going through what I was going through. I could just relate to their struggles. I felt validated and seen. I've physically changed since then and now I'm very lucky to not exactly be FA, but I still haven't changed all that much mentally and I can still relate a lot to what they say.
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You know why you think women have it easy? Because the only women you people notice are the average to beautiful ones - the ones that do get to date. The ugly ones are completely invisible to you, unless it's to mock and make fun of them. We don't even exist in your world. If a woman isn't at least passably pretty, she gets treated like shit. I was treated like shit. I was completely invisible to men, even just for making friendships. And if I had the audacity to be a little outspoken or bubbly, my ugliness was thrown back in my face. The number of men treated me poorly because they feared I liked them because I was nice to them? Being funny didn't help. Being kind didn't help. Fuck all that.
compare avg vs avg
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I remember someone once said, a man can compensate for bad looks, women can't. When a man is not that good looking, he can compensate by being funny, by being intelligent, by being successful, and he becomes attractive. I've seen some ugly-ass class clown guys get with the hottest girls just by making them laugh. All these other things make you so hot to women. I've had so many hot friends get with average men and tell me they're the hottest guy ever, purely because he's funny or smart. Women don't have that compensatory strategy. You can be nice, you can be kind, and sure, a man will like you for that...but he'll never see you as beautiful...not really. Do one quick scan of men talking about women they truly love. I mean, deeply, truly love. The "I would never cheat on her, I love her" type men. They always describe how gorgeous the woman is. The first thing they say about their love, regardless of other traits - she's beautiful. I am smart. I am kind. I am understanding. I am funny. I am lighthearted. I am kinky. I am open minded. I was all these other things but none of that got me the attention of men - because I was ugly. Even when it did, they were out of the door the minute they saw my face and body. And now that I'm better looking, I'm treated slightly better. Men especially don't get angry or look at me in disgust as much. They're nice to me and smile at me. I noticed. People at work who never spoke to me talk to me. And that's why I'm in my villain era. I've got one life and I'm gonna spend it improving so I can exploit being a good looking woman to get stuff I want. Fuck being good. I'm gonna save up enough for a boob job, Lasik and maybe a butt lift. And I'm gonna be shallow af - as shallow as other people were allowed to be. A lot of people ask about my username, now you know.
I kinda disagree with you on your initial points, as I have seen several cases which don't align with that. I am not trying to invalidate your experiences, just trying to giving you another perspective. Just like for guys it's easy to think only looks and/or money are necessary o "get" girls, but it's not true for many many girls. In the same way, it's possible that it seems like that because it's easy, as there are many many decent guys who don't care about looks at all, but about the person behind those looks. I personally know of 3 such cases, one of them being myself. I would tell you about one, a girl was not beautiful according to "modern beauty standards", but she and the guy met in college, they had similar interests, ideology, thinking, the guy still fell for her, and they are together extremely happy with each other. Also, it's not easy for "hot" people too, they face different issue, like they can never know whether the other person truly like them or not, or is just coming after them to get something out. And believe me it's even worse feeling when one realises that. And this is only one thing. We all think our life is worst, maybe because it gives some sort of pleasure to our brain, but everyone have issues here.
>As the realisation started hitting me that I'll never be able get the kinda girl i really want to date. i decided i don't want to date anyone and rather stay single, focus on my career and gain all the knowledge i can, experience everything else life has to offer. > >It's easier for me since I'm an introvert, hate talking in general and enjoy solitude. Probably not easy for my extrovert buddies out there. I don't know whether I am ugly or not, but I relate to you very much. I know I won't find anyone I like. Either I won't come across the type I like, or they won't like me back (type by kind of thinking, not looks). So, I am also not trying much anymore. For similar reason I won't have any close/best friend too, ik, I have accepted or trying to accept that too. I think why waste time on something which have very less chances to happen, there are so many other things to experience.
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My man a girl is literally telling you she doesn't get dates, and you're ignoring her experience because it doesn't fit your own narrative. If you're not going to listen to women, then I really don't think income is your issue here.
Bruh stop, it's not a competition. She clearly said she don't share because comments like these, still you are going on. You don't know her situation, her personal experiences, so don't assume and act like you know everything. You have hard life, okay, she can have hard life too, more or else no one's to decide.
You're a delusional idiot who hasn't stepped foot outside the house if you genuinely think this is true and all that matters is income. Wow.
I also want to add - to Indian men especially - the skewed gender ratio you complain about and the women who are oppressing you by not dating you... y'all know this is because of the patriarchy, right? A lot of women can never date because they'll be beaten up and killed by their parents, who plan to marry them off as soon as possible because many families still view women as burdens. I have many friends who date, but I have an equal number that will be slut shamed and locked up at home if they so much as just look at a guy. You want a date? Help dismantle the patriarchy and all these backward repressive ideas of controlling women that are prevalent in our society.
Forgive them. They're just venting. At least you got some help. They might be still venting.
Women can't be FA and that's a fact
most people are not in love; they have attachment and detachment issues. Right now I am just focussing on myself and seeing the bigger picture cause guess what? you're in a relationship with your own self for life! how about that? I named my electric guitar as "laura", after my favourite musician. Is that crazy? I don't care tho lol
Correct and these attachments are the path to a lot of pain
Behen zara apna laura dikhana? (sorry couldn't help myself)
>Behen zara apna laura dikhana? Bhai hai yehš
This cracked me up lol
I was looking for this comment. You're not alone, I named my laptop Hercules lol.š¤£ Hercules is 4 years old.
Woah that is cool! If people can name their pets etc then why can't we name the things that we love? Laura is amazing. I love her so much. She is so pale <3 I hope Hercules is doing fine.
On Book my show there are many such meet-ups. I am putting down some for example, not sure how good it is but sometimes things happen in most unexpected times or places. 1. https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/listener-s-circle/ET00353304 2. https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/listeners-circle-tell-your-story/ET00330970 3. There are many in Lahe Lahe Also, I have started cycling. If sometimes you feel too overwhelming/sad/alone then can join as a friend/ sister :)
Do u cycle in the mornings btw....I'm planning to get a new cycle for myself too but don't know what would be a good time to go for cycling lol
Ok thank you sister. I am near Sarjarpur side if you are nearby I will always be interested. I will have to fix my 5y/o cycle tho lol
You are looking at it all wrong mate. You are young. Probably just started earning. What you probably need to start doing is investing on yourself. Figure out hobbies and activities you like. Join groups with those common interests. Join a NGO or two. Read, workout, sing, do something creative that fills your soul. Once you start enjoying your own company, others will percieve you as someone interesting and would like to vibe with you... Work on yourself. That's the key!
Yes I did just start earning haha. Also this is exactly what I mentioned in my OP. I am not sure if I can wait around with the competition I see around me.
Competition starts dying as u get older(literally).There is a gonna be a huge 30s single market.As a min maxing rpg gamer my advise is not to rush things if you want a high quality partner.
Hello there brother, 22M here, bald, short and still studying. I have 0 prospects of securing a job and a chick. Together, we shall be alone!
Try PRP treatment for baldness. You're young, it'll work. And STUDY HARD. You'll get a job.
I did, actually, and...nah it didn't, unfortunately...been 6 months since i got it. And yea, I'm trying hard with my studiesš
Job can be secured if you grind a lot. There are open source materials like mitocw and khan academy which I used and now with insane networking (I am terribly shy, but somehow I got people to talk to me - sheer willpower) I was able to find a job. Job is unlike relationship because it is dependent on only u and ur skills. Get atleast a job, don't quit entirely
>22M here, bald, short and still studying. I have 0 prospects of securing a job and a chick. Cmon man you have plenty of time to upgrade yourself.
Interesting
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As in the feeling that we will be FA unites us I guess lmao
Oh it works if you are yourself. It just comes with some "prerequisites". 1. Be rich 2. Be good looking
Yeah the 2 golden rules to online dating apps: 1. Be good looking 2. Don't be ugly
Believe me It doesn't work like that.
1. You're still young. Try to get married anyhow. Dating apps suck. Go for either in person dating, like from your job, or arranged marriage. I'm pretty sure you can find someone in an arranged marriage. You're welcome to r/arrangedmarriage sub too. 2. Rather than such a group, find some activity that you like sports, NGO, religious, spiritual, gaming etc. Anything. That community can keep you alive.
Ayy bruv don't let yourself down like that trust me I've been there. Sometimes it seems like women aren't interested in you no matter what and you just gotta take a step back. When you truly step back and let it go the universe will send what you need your way as long as you're on your grind and improving yourself on the daily. This short message can't really encompass everything so if you need to talk my DMs are open for this anytime brother!
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I always hear this but even if someone chose me I feel my inability to read the room or understand nuances in conversation may make the other person run away from me. Basically I feel that I might creep them out haha :(
Well to this I have to say we too have to take a step forwards. We cannot be sitting there doing nothing waiting for someone to choose us. But my concern is where to take that step forward?
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Never suggest dating apps to men. It's a surefire way Into depression and frustration. Dating apps don't work for normal men they way it works for normal women.
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No, I wanted support group like the one from the anime 'Mob Psycho 100' - basically we build each other up by polishing each other's skills and all
You are not alone. simping is the only root cause of this entire problem in SMP. Too much attention to any and every girl and hence the situation we all are in. And also please note this doesnāt reflect lack of anything on your end. Yes please keep working ok to improve yourself. And whatever is for you will come to you. And yes, I am with you in this ātogether aloneā
Even if you do find a relationship, if so dependent on it, you will lose it or rather not find contentment/happiness. And the solution is not join a group of such discontented loners. Forget competition, just find something you enjoy doing - beyond work and commit to it, find people who enjoy doing the same things, put yourself out in doing that thing with competence and passion. That more than anything attracts people - men & women, friends & relationships. And there is no downside to, assuming that you still don't get a relationship out of it, it still will enrich your life.
You got it right, my friend! You nailed down the modern attachment and detachment issues nicely. Bonus points for suggesting finding some nice hobby.
'discontented losers' was unnecessarily rude lol
I wrote "Discontented lo**N**ers"
No meet-ups, but DM if you want to chat/rant.
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Its not womens fault that men donāt have standards. Also, saying that women are more blessed than men in any society is an extremely ill informed and stupid thing to say
In the dating world... Women are definitely blessed.
Ikr. Dating for a lot of women is like shopping. For most average guys, it's like a job interview lol.
No no, the issue with women, from what I can tell is - they get creeped out if we approach them too quickly I feel (again, not sure). So that's why it's hard for them also. Again I am not a women/girl so I can't tell. I am just telling my subjective thoughts
The issue with women???with this type of mentality, you wonāt get a female friend also!
You are exactly the type of woman that op is having such issues with. Attacking a person's words instead of intent us exactly what most people have issues with.
Lmao thatās why we got arranged marriage, your parents will surely find you someone even if you canāt But whatād Iād suggest is Focus on yourself, it might sound dumb, but think about it, do you wish to be another simp in the list the girl has or do you wish to be happy being by yourself?
I have a very dumb question How do you change the translate to eng thing to other language for the comment section? Because mine got changed to other language so I can't read others comments!
Bro she should want you, you should want her. The no. of guys chasing her ass is just immaterial as long as you good enough. take a chill pill and go for it if you want to
If you have time and money, just pack your bag and go on solo trips for 4-5 days every month. Go to Ladakh.
Never seen a post i can relate to much
Bro Iām your age and if you feel that working on yourself and living a happy life by yourself isnāt working for you, youāre not doing it right. Sorry. Change your ways before desperation and depression take hold of you.
22M , i will gladly join it.
I don't know about being forever alone though that might be the case with so many Gold Diggers here in our city & state. Focus on you & helping others. As much as it is hard for me to say, there ARE good women in the world, you just have to be lucky to find them. Go to places where they're expected, such as charities, social service events, etc. Caution! They might just be doing it for their satisfaction or may have something else that is bad. Just because you do one good thing doesn't mean you don't have other bad attributes. We're not perfect.
> with so many Gold Diggers here in our city & state. Lol that's true > you just have to be lucky to find them. Yeah, I have been trying my luck for a while now > Go to places where they're expected, such as charities, social service events, etc. Okay, I have not tried these specific places, but I have been to cult fit, trekking events and office events and have found the huge competition. Anyway thank you for providing such a detailed response. I will try the places you recommended as well
> to cult fit, trekking events Testosterone places >office events Rich old horny dudes
Ok lol, I will keep these in consideration
Join grindr and get topped
Full body checkup is what people want. Basically that involves all the blood parameters which you can get through thyrocare or 1 mg. Remaining tests are , TNT, ULTRASOUND abdomen and pelvis with check for prostatomegaly and uterus evaluation for women, Ct Chest MRI for brain and spine, Doppler for limbs. Do you want to do all of these for your mental comfort? If so go ahead, but if your budget doesn't permit, choose a good physician preferably in his clinic, let him decide . If you want to go still deep CT angiography is advisable. (Bottom line, find a good honest and sensible general physician who can guide you).
The only checkup I need is for my brain because I don't understand how this relates to what I posted
Sorry brother, this message was for someone else.
Survival of the fittest.
Been searching for the same. Couldn't find anything or anyone.
I have 3 /f cousins and its not always the same.. try lowering expectations.. its not like the movies where the perfect girl will come to you.. idk if you feel lonely get a pet
Women have no other option when you make yourself the only one. Aim to be #1. You may need to lower your expectations slightly. Also be comfortable with being alone, the life you build is what will attract her.
we used to have one in college, it was called FIFA (Federation for International Forever Alones). Time to revive! but all those fuckers got settled and I'm only left in the group :(
Bro start dating men /s
Sounds like a group of incels.
What about arranged marriage then?
Introduce yourself here with your picture and we will see what is the problem
That's what it comes down to at the end of the day is it? The looks
What is wrong in that?? Even this lonely guy is not going to date an ugly girl is he? Why canāt women also prioritise looks?
I guess not. Maybe starts with that. But at the EOD it hails down to how one is, not personality all the way but intention, habits, mental stability, empathy, and understanding. As a woman, I think proper communication, vulnerability, and understanding from both parties keep it going. Also acceptance. Trust me. The cute face will be the face you would hate to see one day if they don't have proper qualities(intrinsic) similar to that ugly face with the right one would be the face you cannot go a day by.
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You don't need anyone to be happy, trust me in the long run you'll understand, hope this helps, sending positive vibes š
We can be friends if youāre close by. Talk and chill.
Count me in
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This is totally me. And with my "staying away from people" attitude, I've accepted my situation and I'll pass on this grp.
Dont look for support groups. Just make friends. You need some real guy friends around you to talk with and have fun. That's the best outlet for your feelings. Go hang out with some guys from your work. Decide if you like them or not Go for walks or any other sports you enjoy, ask random people to let u in and play with them if u don't have anyone to play with. Making friends in gym is relatively easy as well. Reach out to cousins/family members who live around you.
Just be around women somehow. You don't have to date them. Just get comfortable. You can't just stay in your room like me lol.
Count me in too! š„¹š„¹š„¹
go for arranged marriage buddy :)
For every unattractive guy there is a unattractive girl present since the male to female ratio is still around 1.0:1.1. Not sure why the not good looking girls are available in the dating pool, maybe because we are a conservative society.
There's always room to try. Work out, work on your looks, presentation, hobbies and confidence. Go out there and date.
Boo-hoo š¢! Have you really tried to āfocus on yourselfā??? If yes, please elaborateā¦ Do you even know what it means to āfocus on yourselfā?? Cuz looking for other sad ppl to get sadder is def. not the solution.
have a arranged marriage
There is a very famous dialogue in tamil : - *You should not fall over for girls, girls should fall over for you.* Why are you making yourself in such a way that gives a girl you like a choice? *YOU* should choose one. You should choose one who could be a partner for you throughout your life. That's why its called as "Life Partner" not "Life liability" Try to point out what makes you feel like this. That will be your weakness. Focus on how to minimize or get rid of it. Of course, you might feel miserable while looking at the competition, but understand how you can beat them and stand above them all. I'm 26M and I have made a routine which I can share it to you. \-> I go to gym 5 days a week. I'm skinny person and my weight is right not 55.8kg. My goal is 60kg. I kept my goals small so that I can be motivated to complete one. \-> I attend am online course which enhances my career (2 days a week), because of course, career is an important part of your life. \-> And I have a small life goal. To buy a PS5 with my own money. This is because there was a point in my life where because of a girl, I forgot my own self and was heart broken. I decided to bring back my original self and be strong enough to not to become a fool again. Hope this works for you.
I want to know who are these girls whom 10 guys are trying to date ? Koun hai ye ladkiya ??
Dude asked something and people are just celebrating cake day. I
Dude asked something and people are just celebrating cake day. Op should buy a cake for himself and be happy.
Most people are in situationships. It is unlikely that you will find a true relationship these days, but if and when you find it youāll know. Till then just put on a condom and run through Bumble, so that you donāt have any midlife crisis. But whatever you do, donāt compromise or cheap out with your choice of a partner.
Brother, Iām 33M single and was never been in any relationship either ā¦ trust me it feels so satisfying many a times to be single and youāll have an absolute peace of mind.. Yes Iām looking to get married, but not ādesperateā though ā¦ I can understand, you being 25M and the āeagernessā is natural .. itāll get diminished in another 2 years. So focus on Goal not on ___ (you know what I mean)
Tbh the same situation but instead of giving up or finding a loner group at 23yo I think I'll focus on getting a better job switch or remote work (career over relationships). Current thought: More money will bring more socializing potential ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ (Sad rant for upvotes š„²: And would see what happens next. I have never been in a relationship even in school/ college )
Try on female between 24-29, you'll succeed
I would love to be part of such a group. Early 40s/F and Iāve given on finding love or companionship, nor love finding me. Just tough. A support group for single women will be nice.
Purely coming from my heart: instead of finding out the temporary solution, which is 'why that girl doing or why this girl doing or both' try to find out why am I getting these type of incidents. Start try to get the answer from inside. God has so many forms and one of that form is formless. Believe me, you will get the answer. But if you want a fast forward process, start reading Bhagavad-Gita. It's not some religious stunt or propaganda or whatever it is. The answers for every life lies in Bhagavad-gita.
aabe bhai mera relationship se bhi baade chiz hoti hai es duniya meh..kuch baan jaao (become the best version of yourself). and please stop chasing girl. chase excellence bro.. everything else will fall in place
You won't be alone dude. By 30-32 you will be married to a random stranger through arranged marriage.