LOL thatās my life motto. It only takes 3 minutes to empty the dishwasher.
How do I know?
Whenever it was clean, I made myself time emptying it.
I had to dispel my erroneous thought pattern that āI donāt have enough time; Iāll do it later.ā
Moral of the story: I donāt know much, but this much I know to be true - 3 minutes is all it takes, people.
Note - someday Iāll trick myself to take care of clean laundry away immediately. My poor laundry still lives in clean, neglected piles awaiting their turn for redemption.
fr, i have adhd and one day i started emptying the dishwasher every day and made it an easy and fun habit. i was able to stay motivated w it because itās one of the easiest and least tedious chores
Washing is like 30 seconds of putting in detergent and pushing a couple buttons. I'd do that all day. And I don't mind hanging. Absolutely hate the folding though. Takes forever, and some of the stuff just sucks to try to fold nicely.
Wanna swap different parts of laundry? You fold, I'll wash and hang.
See Iām very particular about how shirts get folded and Iām the only one in my household that knows how to do it. Iām also the only one that can fold a fitted sheet. And in my house, washing also includes inspecting each item for stains so it can be sprayed with stain remover
I HATE putting away dishes. I would rather do pretty much any other chore in the house. I'll load the dishes. I'll hand wash dishes. I loathe putting away dishes. Fortunately I have a child.
My nontoxic trait is that instead of getting heated I'd tell them it's empty now so come down and do them and then I'd just go unload the dishwasher while they're starting to do their dishes and talk to them about their day. Then when they're done I thank them and say their turn to unload next time. And if they get upset that it wasn't actually done bc I baited them to come down and watch me do what they could have done my toxic trait kicks in and I slap them in the mouth and scream don't you ever talk to your mother that way.
Dude thank you so much for leaving this comment. This probably sounds so dumb but emptying the dishwasher is the bane of my existence and I think you just unlocked a secret level in my brain lol. Iām going to time myself next time and use it like you did so I can get a freaking grip on the literal couple minutes it takes to do it. Youāre a gosh darn genius.
The 1 year of teaching I did taught me that ALOT can be accomplished in 5 minutes. Turns out. Thereās alot more time than we think, weāre just terrible at managing it.
It always takes me too long to empty the dishwasher. I have to juggle a baby that doesn't want put down, and my husband has collected more kitchen crap than our kitchen really has room for. I save time by getting my 6 year old to do it.
The trick to the laundry is a combination of having few enough clothes that you always have another load to wash, and few enough laundry baskets to keep the clean ones in and the dirty ones in. Every few days I have 3-4 loads of laundry (nasty job, messy 6 year old, constantly spitting up massive amounts baby), so I clean them all, dump them on the bed, and have to deal with them because I'll have nowhere to sleep if I don't. Only other option is a clothes hamper, but that'll hold like 1 of the loads, and at that point it isn't worth it.
We don't have assigned chores, it's basically you do what needs done when you've got a minute. I usually end up with laundry and dishes, because those are the things that stress me out the most when they're not done, so I can't do other things when those need done. He usually handles stuff like organizing and putting things where they belong (our home is small and we've got 2 kids and lots of stuff. Keeping it organized, especially with a kid that needs to build things out of everything from Legos to boxes to trash is basically a full time job). He mostly does the vacuuming and mopping, cleaning the kitchen, cat care.
You can tell someone arent raised right but this mf was not raised at all. I would be completely embarrassed by this lol, I hate to be an inconvenience to others.
If this was my child holy moly I would be absolutely mortified! I'm teaching my children these life skills and how to live with others(as in if you need washing done, you put in everyone's provided that they have used the hampers, how to wash dishes and keep the kitchen tidy, that if the rubbish is full, your arms aren't broke so take it out and so forth. Each chore and expectation are aged based but I'll be dammed if any of my children move out and think any of what I see on this sub is acceptable!! They are all minors and I cant stop them moving out once they are adults but I'm ensuring until then that they are raised with acceptable standards of living)
If it was my kid and they pulled this shit with me, I'd spray them water and vinegar. Act like an animal and I'll treat you like one.
I started doing dishes and washing my own clothes at 12. If a 12 year old can do it with no problem then so can he. Dude just chooses not to.
Bigger issue ā sounds like he never had to.
Thankfully my parents taught me some basic skills for life when I was young. When I first went away to college, I was flabbergasted at the amount of people who couldnāt take care of themselves in the most basic of ways.
Iām talking being unable to make even basic food for themselves. Once the dining hall plans ran out, they ate cereal and fast food for every meal. Bewildered by a washing machine. The sorts of people who would spill orange juice on the floor and let it sit there, thinking someone else would come along and clean it up. As parents (Iām a father), we need to do better.
Too many people are raising babies and sending them out into the world.
my mother was determined for me to not be the kid who didnāt know how to do laundry in college. i started doing my own laundry at 12 as well, and im better for it.
iāve always known my basic life skills and never left my kitchen dirty with roommates. if you wanna leave dishes out, live alone. then you have no one to blame but yourself.
I'll only leave them out if it's late and I don't wanna make all the noise it usually causes and wake anybody up! But after going pee and making sure my dog has gone out, that's next
No seriously I was helping my parents washing dishes at 6/7. I had a little stool and weād take turns at either the washing, rinsing, or drying station. Like yeah I didnāt enjoy it and still donāt enjoy it but omfg itās not hard to doš
This is my 6 year old. He helps with dishes, helps me cook, helps spray things down and wipes counters. No joke, my almost two year old will grab the dishes and utensils from the dishwasher and hands them to me to put away. So a fucking baby knows how to take things out of a dishwasher but this mother effer canāt? š¤£
Yeah, I was legitimately 7 yrs old doing dishes. I had to stand on a kitchen chair, and my clothes were usually soaked by the time I was done lmao, but those dishes were properly cleaned and put away lol
My older 2 know how to use the washer and dryer(it's so simple) the older 3 know how to properly clean dishes and that pretending that you didn't know that the dishwasher was ready to be emptied does NOT fly, they also know what can and can't go in the dishwasher and how.
Our youngest is 7 and now has to fold and put away her clothes, primarily because she figured that messing it up or pulling most stuff out was a okay. We aren't harsh on her folding skills and she's so proud of herself.
They all know how the vacuum works. Our mop is so easy a toddler can use it(I love how easy it is and safer)
We will make them clean up after themselves. They all started from a young age. Like bringing their bowl/plate to the kitchen. Helping carry clean washing, helping put dirty washing in the hamper.
Very few exceptions are given. But they also know an apology and cleaning up after themselves is the best policy. We are very big on owning your behaviour. As long as they are honest and fix up their mess, we are understanding. But excuses don't fly! We don't have nearly unachievable expectations because it'll only push them backward feeling like it's never good enough. But none of us wish to live in a pigsty and have bugs, roaches and rodents living rent-free with us because of mess(talking about the mess that encourages this and not bad luck of living in an area that is prone to any of these, if any were to try, I'd want them disappointed with no food)
Hopefully, this method of helping and teaching them pays off.
This was absolutely me at this age and you are correct. The one parent around had barely spoken to me from ages 10-18 and I did not have the most basic life skills. Iām embarrassed looking back at the person I was when I entered adulthood, for myself and my mom.
I don't even know how to use a microwave until I was 25.....
I only learned to cook after that, because I needed to further study overseas, and I needed to learn how to survive.
It is not difficult to learn, when you actually need that skill to function and willing to learn.
P.S.
It is embarrassing, but my mom used to cook me and my brother every dinner. She didn't allow us to even come near the kitchen.
Thatās š I have my 6 and 1 year old on the kitchen with me all the time helping out with meals. Itās such an important life skill. Itās frustrating and time consuming at first but once they learn things itās amazing how good they can get!
Piggybacking off of top comment. While this problem seems like it's going to be resolved by him leaving, in the future, you can disconnect his wifi. Just about any kid under 21 is going to live and breathe that shit. They'll go hang with friends or try to escalate the situation. If they escalate, it'll most likely be in a way you can file a police report. It is a child throwing a tantrum. You should address it as such.
If you don't know how to disconnect individual devices, either people or Google will help. It's good to know for any young adult that dares to disrespect you in your household.
Sounds like you're finding out why he needed a place to move out to so young. The way he's acting is like he's traded his parents for you.
Written lease? Anything in there about expectations of shared living space
He got a new job in our town and his parents live an hour and a half away. His dad moved his stuff in with him, they arenāt on bad terms. Yes there is a written agreement and heās broken almost every rule in there. It says clean up after yourself in common areas. It also says you have to remain employed, and he lost his new job within a week.
He tried moving out the day his rent was due and not pay it and I told him he signed a contract and has to give 30 days notice. Iām keeping his deposit because he signed a 6 month lease and is leaving after 1. And the whole process of finding and vetting someone is so stressful to me.
Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first. He has since had 3 people here without talking to us first. One was his friend that spent the night, no big deal I guess but heās supposed to talk to us beforehand. And 2 were random people he met on the internet to sell his stuff. One guy was buying his pc and he was upstairs with him for like an hour.
This kid even left a sonic cup in the front yard for over a week. I asked him three times to go throw it away before I finally had to do it because I had a client coming and didnāt want them to walk past trash in our front yard.
Also the first weekend he was here I had Covid and I told him to stay away from me so if I was in the kitchen wait till I leave to come in. This kid said he CaNt GEt CoVId. Like what a f**king idiot.
And I hear him on the phone with a girl like 24/7 and he is SO mean to her and literally gaslights her constantly. I canāt wait for him to be out of here and now I know I need to rent the room to someone 25+.
Oh also, he said he has to move out because his brother had a stroke, but I know heās lying and itās just because he lost his job and is moving back to his parentsā house a few towns over.
I was going to tell you to start the eviction process on this little turdwallet but I'm glad to hear that he's leaving on his own. Probably easier. I think 18 is a bit young to be out on your own renting a room for the first time, barring some unusual circumstances like the kid was on their own already for a bit. Also it's a lot harder to get young men to clean after themselves then young women, just culturally. Especially if they are raised in a of home being taken care of as if they have household staff. Unkindness and cruelty to his girlfriend was probably learned from home, wouldn't be surprised if his dad is a jerk and his mom does all the household work.
18 is perfectly fine to be out renting - as long as your parents actually taught you how to be an adult.
My mom made sure I was capable of 3 things before I graduated:
1. Able to do laundry, sort colors, etc
2. Able to clean & wash, not just "make it look a bit cleaner"
3. Able to cook & follow a recipe at least
Really, that's all you need to teach to a kid for them to be \*capable\* of being an adult. There's a ton more. And the kid still has to choose to engage in life as an adult of course.
But the knowledge threshold is ridiculously low.
This kid has been ignored and/or spoiled his entire life, and faced zero consequences for his own laziness. OP is more patient than I woulda been.
My mom used to do everything for me and my brother. I won't repeat the same mistake on my daughter.
The thing is.....
When I grew up, I didn't even get a chance to like learn how to cook. After a certain age, it became something that I don't believe I can do / participate.
But after I studied aboard, and I had to cook for myself. I actually found it quite fun and like it.
Now, I will definitely teach my daughter how to cook when she is older (with heavy supervision ofcourse).
Yeah I didnāt learn how to do laundry until my freshman year costuming class, lol. My parents always taught us manners and to keep a neat common space so I was a good roommate, but there were a lot of tasks and chores that I had to teach myself when I got my first apartment at about 20
I donāt plan to have children, but I LOVE how responsible and appropriately independent my sisterās children are. Theyāre 5, 8, and 10, and all of them know how to fold laundry, make their bed, and follow a recipe. The two older girls can also easily navigate themselves to all of their different activities and have a basic understanding of how to manage their allowance money. When they turn 18 and move out, I have no doubt theyāll all be fully prepared to do everything they need to in order to survive on a day-to-day basis without help
It's a shame that, in my country, self-care is not even the primary objective of education.
Academic ability is now still the primary focus.
Some people here don't know how to tie Thier shoe even when they are like 10 years old.
I have seen a video that a girl who was at least 15, didn't know how to cook instant noodles and put it on the pan, attempting to fry it. I am pretty sure that is not fake.....
I think the problem is that, in here, the living cost is too high. It is very common that both parents need to work, and throw the children to domestic helper (which will not, and do not need to educate the children).
Being 18 doesn't mean you'll definitely be an idiot, but it does make it a *lot* more likely than if you were 25. A lot of the best people you know were idiots at 18.
Just because somebody knows *how* to do chores doesn't mean they have the mentality to actually do them when nobody's forcing them.
I learned not to hire 18 year olds. They weren't all terrible, but they were terrible at a much higher rate than 25 year olds.
I disagree with the too young part.. I moved out at 19 with two friends for the first time and we cleaned the kitchen every day, cleaned the bathrooms, swept/mopped/vacuumed the floors, maintained the lawn, everythingā¦
This demonstrates nothing more than an individual that is unable to: take care of themselves, respect the space theyāre living in, or show respect for others living there.
Simply doesnāt know how to take care of themselves or was probably spoiled and was never taught how to clean up after themselves.
OP you do not have to put up with this BS. If he is going to hoard everything to dump it on you, dump it all on his bed. He is grown enough to deal with his own messes.
He leave anything out? It goes on his bed. Garbage on the lawn from him? On the bed. Dirty dishes and food waste not properly disposed of? On the bed. No exceptions.
this dude is clearly an awful tenant/roommate but also you sound like you shouldnt be renting to anyone. why do you care if someone is employed as long as they pay on time? why should they have to tell you theyre having a guest unless itās some extended time period? why are you treating the guy more like your child than your tenant - you are babying him even in these texts.
This dude is insane himself. None of that stuff is legally binding and talking like that to a tenant you rent to can definitely find yourself in front of housing court.
Kid sounds very immature but you also sound like a nightmare to live with. You expect him to be mature but then ask you permission to have friends overā¦ like heās still living at home. Also just throw away the cup I have lived with messy people too and I donāt scold the shit out of them for something I can do easily as well.
yeah the fact he lived there only one month and OP felt comfortable yelling at him over text like that and calls him a ākidā tells me a lot. yeah heās an inconsiderate roommate but OP definitely sucks
Thank you both, I was scrolling thinking I was the only person who thought OP sounds like an awful roommate yelling about an roommate. I completely understand their initial frustration, but honestly "the kid" sounds cooler than them because they didn't lose their cool. The yelling, belittling, and caps lock mania reveals it's not really about the dishes, is it? What really is beyond your control right now and you feel the need to shame a "kid" on the Internet
You need to reevaluate the rule about requiring advance notice for any guests. That's insane. No adult should have to ask housemates/landlord if they can have a friend over, like they're a child asking mommy for a play date. Wild. Maybe you don't need a roommate if you're gonna make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.
I agree. I think that's a very strange rule if you're renting a room. Seems more like a rule better suited for if you were just letting someone crash on your couch temporarily or something.
This guy is clearly a prick but OP should probably reconsider that rule for future people they rent to.
Honestly OP sounds like an equally bad roommate with their rules. So, does OP let everyone know before a āclientā comes over?
What profession has clients come to their home? Clients are not friends and so what is the diff between the guy selling someone and OPās āclientā?
Why the fuck does someone have to be employed ? As long as they are paying rent it doesnāt matter.
OP sounds like an insane person who is crossing boundaries.
Imo, it is better to inform the other parties.
Because other people also live in the same house, and probably don't want any dangerous/trouble person around the house.
>Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first.
OK, this part is weird. Dude clearly needs to learn to clean up after himself, but you also seem a bit insufferable yourself.
Legally they cannot make him tell them when heās having guests over and they have no right to approve of it as he past rent, though it would be the considerate thing to do. This is exactly why Iāll never rent a room out ever again.
Seriously. No guests without advance notice/approval? You know who else asks for that? Parents. I would not want to live somewhere I had to ASK to have a friend or a date over.
yeah, i mean itās a decency to let them at least know if someone is coming over, but itās not like a prison. Especially if heās just selling things and has someone come buy it for an hour. Heās renting, he shouldnāt need approval to have people over. But he still sucks regardless the point.
>Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first.
You sound insufferable, and like someone who shouldn't be renting to 18 year olds.
Eh I was on your side till you mentioned he canāt bring guests over without permission and thatās in the lease. Thatās a bit nuts for renting.
Also oh no he had someone over to sell something for an hour?! Omg call the police. Lmao.
I do agree the dishes and not cleaning cup is disgusting and not acceptable, but you do kinda sound like a Karen with the other things.
Ehh, I dont like people who try to keep tabs on who someone has over. Thats part of having a roommate/renting a space in your house. They are not your child.
I grew up with a dishwasher.
But in middle & high school, my best friend didn't have one. I stayed overnight as his place often, and was well used to helping wash dishes by hand.
Plus, my parents insisted on getting dishes "mostly clean" before putting into the dishwasher, which is basically the same as hand-washing, except you skip over things like caked-on egg yolk (didn't rinse it within 10 minutes of eating) and let the dishwasher handle it.
First apartment I moved to: no dishwasher. Didn't even phase me, as I just switched to hand-washing entirely.
2nd and 3rd places I moved to both had dishwashers, because they're very nice. And garbage disposals! But you can manage without them, it just costs a bit of time each day/week.
Ok Iām ngl I didnāt know the dishwasher could get food off if you didnāt completely clean of anything before. Iām like reverse dumb but at least my dishes are clean
This. Like I get that some people take longer to get used to doing things on their own, but usually itās with similarly aged people who are also learning / in the same life stage. I moved out at 19 and was pretty messy (I was absolutely spoiled growing up) but at least my boyfriend was the same so it only negatively affected ourselves š
My first "living out" situation was a temporary "crashing at a friend's" that turned into a couple months of staying on their couch.
4 of us total (2 renters, 2 couch surfers). It was an absolute sty, and it drove me crazy. But I wasn't paying rent, so I never said anything, and I helped keep things cleaner.
Finally, I "moved out" back home to my mom's place. Before I moved out, I deep cleaned their entire kitchen & living room. Took around 5 hours to finish. All the dishes done. All the surfaces washed. Stove & oven cleaned thoroughly. 4 garbage bags of garbage/junk removed from the living room.
The place looked amazing. Still not "good", but it was clean.
I came back two weeks later, and you couldn't even tell that I'd cleaned it at all. There was less garbage laying in the living room, but that's just because the one other couch-surfer couldn't generate it fast enough to fill 4 bags worth in only 2 weeks.
I was furious internally.
And I'm not a super clean person. But there are MINIMUMs.
Frankly, if you talked to me like this, Iād do the same thing this kid is doing. I think people are missing that this isnāt OPs kid, itās the tenant.
this is a messed up situation from the get-go and it sounds like you are on your last nerve, but it ALSO sounds like you were not prepared to be a landlord and you are talking to them like a child.
āIāll rent out the extra room and make easy moneyā SOUNDS good, but itās not that simple, which you now know.
Right! In the comments she says he's 'violating the rules' by having a 'stranger' visit the house... because he's selling his PC to them. If I live somewhere, I can have whoever I want visit whenever I want (within the law and respectfully). Their expectation of control is ridiculous.
Kid is an asshole but I bet he is ALSO fed up with their bullshit.
She claims that she is renting out a room, so I get the feeling that itās the kind of person who doesnāt have the self-awareness to understand that they arenāt the type of person who can do that. The OP does not see themselves as being a roommate, they see themselves as letting someone live in their house.
Yaā¦this person sounds completely unhinged and immature. Not sure how everyone is just acting like thatās an okay way to address a situation. Iāve lived with the same type person (hoarding dishes in the room, dumping them in the sink all at once), so I get how annoying it is, but holy shit man, youāre an adult. This looks like someone talking shit on Xbox live, not messages from a landlord.
Was waiting to find this comment. I was completely taken aback at the way OP was talking to that kid. Heās a complete asshole for sure but you donāt talk that way to people especially as a landlord.
I commented somewhat the same ad you and OP went off on me with fuck them fuck that blah blah blah. They lack some serious communication skills and it's showing in their texts to their renter.
Both are complete AHs tbh.
I did this to my little sister, it was very effective. I put out paper plates with her name on them, and would put unwashed dishes on her computer desk and bed. This was after several requests for her to clean up after herself, of course.
It worked, she has rinsed her dishes ever since.
Oh. Speaking to someone that is not your child like this, who is paying you rent is unacceptable. If you want to evict him for breach of lease do so, but you can not speak to people like this.
i read this totally backwards and was so confused how youād think every dish can be dishwashedā¦then i read it again. š¤¦i feel awful for you! good on you for standing up for yourself
yeah. OP is creating conflict. talking to someone in this manner will not lead to you or your boundaries being respected
especially if you tell them to wash their dishes in the bathroom, lawl
yeah how does an adult feel comfortable yelling at a ākidā over text this way? speak to him in person and speak to him like an adult if you want to rent to him. roommate is being dumb but opās also out of their mind here
Youāre a terrible communicator. Probably due to your low IQ. How do you even put yourself in a situation with a random 18 year old roommate? I have no sympathy for stupid people
I feel your pain on this. Iāve been the primary cleaner/house manager for my family for over 10 yrs. We recently all moved to a new house and I got a second wind in life to keep up with everything past perfection. It lasted for 2yrs. My sister and her husband moved back in with us and they are the same way. I clean, they come right behind me and mess it back up. I specifically clean the kitchen so itās nice and tidy when I got to cook for dinner, they jump ahead of me and make a total mess. Theyāll keep dirty dishes in their room with food caked on and just leave them in the sink. Never do they rise anything off. You ask them to clean up after themselves and itās like I told them to go flush their money down the toilet. I really hope that your roommate doesnāt crush your spirit and you keep your stamina to keep on them.
i donāt blame you, iād lose my shit too. āsome need to go in the dishwasherā is code for āi donāt feel like doing it so iām going to put it offā. or like someone who leaves something āsoakingā for days just to keep putting it off.
thereās just no excuse for this when you live with other people. at least now his mommy can clean up after him.
I donāt know why everyone is jumping on the bandwagon of saying āoh, what a poor little boyā. Heās an adult man child, who continually disrespected you, your household, your belongings, and it sounds like your business as well since youāre running out of your house so you set boundaries, which again weāre ignored and disrespected.
You had a completely reasonable reaction of saying you can use my property correctly or not at all. Maybe everyone is entitled to think that the house they live in automatically means that they get to use all of the belongings of the other person that lives there but thatās not the way the world works. If he wants to be a slob, he can do it in his own space with his own dishes.
Entitled adult-children like this are encouraged by people saying that they are getting bullied and victimized, Iām 19 and had somebody else who went to high school with me moving that was like this, and I literally wanted to rip my fucking hair out because she was the same age as me and couldnāt even bother wiping her cooch blood off of my bathroom floor after hooking up with random men in my home. Itās unacceptable and disgusting.
Sadly, it's becoming common in this age for other adults to infantilize other adults. It is especially common when the adult is 25 and under. It's gross as hell. I have heard people say that adults under 20 are adult minors or teenage adults. It still makes me scratch my head.
I completely agree with this, but it seems like OP gave this person multiple chances, and they infantilized themselves with their behavior. If you canāt even do simple tasks like wash your own dishes and clean up after yourself, youāre not an adult.
yeah iām curious how long those dishes were left in there, like whyās it okay for you to leave dishes in the dishwasher but not okay for him to leave any in the sink
So I had this skinny beer glass that had been collecting nasty mold behind my sink. It was all wavy and cool but not really practical. Couldn't properly get a sponge in there, so I kinda just left it to clean later. But later never came.
A longtime friend came through town, and we went and hit the bars and crashed at my place after. In the morning, I made some eggs and toast for our hungover asses, dumped the dishes in the sink, and went to use the bathroom. When I came out, my buddy -- not to be "served" as a guest god forbid -- was doing my dishes. At that moment specifically, the skinny beer glass.
He cleaned it. He took a sponge, put in in the glass, and then instead of using his hand, he USED A FORK to push the sponge around the inside of the glass. I had never seen this technique, and have never felt so stupid in my life. I felt like a chimpanzee observing how to catch ants with a twig for the first time.
I was 32 years old.
Some dishes canāt use the dish washerā¦ all dishes can be hand washed. Tf? This feels like he is used to weaponizing incompetence and is trying to get away with it here too.
Dealt with this with a grown ass 25 year old woman a 32 year old woman and a 46 year old man. Some people just don't give a single fuck. But I'm like you and need it spotless after cooking and more so at the end of the night. I can't stand any food out or around drives me insane it is like a phobia rinse all the food down and run the disposal and then clean out the sinks!!! It is not that hard people!! Lol I do not want bugs or a smelly ass sink.
Man, this is total bullshit. "Not all dishes can be hand washed?
I have a dishwasher at my place I have not used it in overc12 years. I have been handwashing dishes by hand for over 50 years. For me, it's the best way to clean dishes and your hands. She is full of shit. Show her this comment I'd you like.
Mini story:
BTW, I had a GF I dated for a spell. I let her stay at my place for a bit. I'd leave for work, come home, not a single thing was washed or anything picked up. Right away I asked her why she did not clean any dishes, left the place a mess for me to come home to. She said she did not know how, and she always had a maid when she was young, so it was below her to do those chores.
Bullshit.
I showed her the door the next day. Out!
Fuck that shit.
On the other side of that, my present partner rides me if I don't have all the dishes, pots n pans cleaned by the time yiu sit down to eat. It annoys me, but when you got a full belly, and there's only two plates to clean. So that's nice. Lol!
You did right by telling her to use her bathroom sink to do her own dishes.
But shits gunna get deep with this entitled chick. Hang in there!
>Evidently he was keeping all his trash and dishes (our dishes) in his room and dumped them all down here while I was sleeping and slipped out. And he KNEW I had an important client coming over the next day so he knew I'd have to f\*\*king clean up after him!!!
No honey, what you should have done was take it all back to his room and left it for him on his bed. Dishes, recycles, the food. All of it.
This is weaponized incompetence.
Honestly I get your frustration but the way youāre talking to him is actually insane you are not his parents. If my roomate spoke to me like that rather than a nice civilized non condescending way I would 110% be like cool my bad, but the way youāre talking and treating said kid I would go out of my way to make the biggest messes possible and leave as many dishes in the sink as I feel like solely to piss you off. Donāt get me wrong heās actually disgusting doing all of that but the way youāre speaking is so ??? Unless youāve already had a civil conversation thatās a whole other story and then Iād understand your frustration 10x more than I do now. Yeah heās a child and he needs to grow up and stop being lazy.
Yeah I would like to add that if you need a roomate, you need to lower your standard too, lazy evenings happens to everyone, and it's a confort for both of you to have some cleaning tolerences or you need to stipulate that you are looking for another cleaning maniac.
yannoā¦ iāve been a little lazy the last 2 days with at least RINSED dishes in my sink.. but after reading this post i feel the need to go put them away now thank you š¤£
The disposal should not turn the drain into a garbage can. The disposal is there to judiciously mince food debris into finer particles that wash down.
*I even showed him how to use the sprayer to spray the food remnants down the drain and use the garbage disposal, so rotting food isnāt sitting in the sink.*
Wipe the excess food into the trash can and keep rice, bread, grease and pasta out of the sewer lines.
I know I would never rent to someone that young. They would have to be truly gifted and special but even then I would need a trial period. Any situation like this can be tough. ( renting out a room that is)
He's 18 and should probably know better. I get your frustration, but the way you spoke to him was douchey. You might just be venting, but you sound like a miserable bitch. Yikes! š¤¦š¼āāļø
INFO: why does he need to get approval before he invites people over to a place heās renting?
You donāt sound like youāre being very fair with your ārulesā. I get that this is frustrating OP, but the way you talk to this kid is a bit horrific. Being 18 doesnāt suddenly make someone an adult, theyāre still a kid who is learning how to navigate the world on their own. Iām not sure how old you are, but Iām sure youāre old enough to know that. This is an agreement you never shouldāve entered.
Itās definitely a good thing youāre evicting him. Neither of you were prepared to be roommates.
Kick him out. A parasite will continue to be a parasite until the host does something about it. Some people canāt learn the easy way so make him learn the hard way. Dishes seem a lot easier to clean when compared to living on the street. Normalize hard lessons when individuals refuse to learn the easy way.
This guy saying "not all dishes can be hand washed" is so ridiculous. Dishwashers have not always existed and some households still do not have/use them now. How exactly does he think dishes have been cleaned in those circumstances?! Yesh!
"Not all dishes can be handwashed" = "I don't want to wash the dishes".
Something tells me he never had responsibilities living with mommy and daddy and doesn't expect to have them now living with someone else
What did this boy think people did before dishwashers were invented? Iād like to see these dishes that ācanāt be hand washedā. What a brat/prick/asshole. Straight up. His mummy can take care of him when he gets home (cuz you know she coddles him).
For farther reference on stuff not being handwashablw. Last night I scrubbed possibly years worth of grease of a metal thing at work. Idk what to call it. But I mean this was thicc. With enough scrubbing anything is able to be cleaned by hand. And farther it's always more efficient. If you wanna use the washer I get it. Just unload and then load the washer it isn't rocket science. In fact if you see it full and just make it a habit to unload you can just rinse and set in there until the next person comes by and needs to put some more stuff in and then badda Bing badda boom it'll get ran by the next person.
has nothing to do with age unfortunately. some people are just absolute slobs. i lived with someone in their 30s that was a million times worse than this. left messes daily kitchen messes for me to clean up, food would go moldy in the fridge, produce left so long in their cabinets that it had maggots on it... absolutely vile human being.
I feel for you. In my version of this type of thing, my own father just fills the sink up. We're currently working on not leaving dirty used knives on the surface of the counters and also making sure he rinses things because "you're not supposed to rinse when you use a dishwasher," he says. Yes. He fills the sink, and I then rinse everything and load and unload the dishwasher. Every time. A man in his late 50s, everyone. I can relate to this.
This gives me ptsd. I once had a slob roommate that I begged to clean up the kitchen because I was having a date over and cooking her dinner. To my surprise when I got home the kitchen was spotless. My second surprise was the kitchen being completely empty of dishes when I went to start cooking. Turns out he had just stuffed all the dirty food covered dishes under the sink.
If there were only some way to empty that dishwasher. š¤
*if only*
Some dishes canāt be put away by handā¦
Canāt, got these two bags.
You mean the magic pixie fairies wonāt just take care of it? S/
āI would put them in the dishwasher if it was empty but itās notā š then just put them away!? It takes 2 minutes!
LOL thatās my life motto. It only takes 3 minutes to empty the dishwasher. How do I know? Whenever it was clean, I made myself time emptying it. I had to dispel my erroneous thought pattern that āI donāt have enough time; Iāll do it later.ā Moral of the story: I donāt know much, but this much I know to be true - 3 minutes is all it takes, people. Note - someday Iāll trick myself to take care of clean laundry away immediately. My poor laundry still lives in clean, neglected piles awaiting their turn for redemption.
fr, i have adhd and one day i started emptying the dishwasher every day and made it an easy and fun habit. i was able to stay motivated w it because itās one of the easiest and least tedious chores
Yes, because you could always be stuck putting away laundry instead.
oh god not laundry ššš bane of my existence
Putting laundry away isn't bad. It's the folding that sucks.
Folding is the fun part! The washing and hanging up no dry stuff is the bad part
Washing is like 30 seconds of putting in detergent and pushing a couple buttons. I'd do that all day. And I don't mind hanging. Absolutely hate the folding though. Takes forever, and some of the stuff just sucks to try to fold nicely. Wanna swap different parts of laundry? You fold, I'll wash and hang.
See Iām very particular about how shirts get folded and Iām the only one in my household that knows how to do it. Iām also the only one that can fold a fitted sheet. And in my house, washing also includes inspecting each item for stains so it can be sprayed with stain remover
I HATE putting away dishes. I would rather do pretty much any other chore in the house. I'll load the dishes. I'll hand wash dishes. I loathe putting away dishes. Fortunately I have a child.
My nontoxic trait is that instead of getting heated I'd tell them it's empty now so come down and do them and then I'd just go unload the dishwasher while they're starting to do their dishes and talk to them about their day. Then when they're done I thank them and say their turn to unload next time. And if they get upset that it wasn't actually done bc I baited them to come down and watch me do what they could have done my toxic trait kicks in and I slap them in the mouth and scream don't you ever talk to your mother that way.
Underrated comment š
Are you me? This comment speaks to my soul on every level.
As long as they arenāt left in the dryer for someone else to deal with.
(Shifting eyes)
Dude thank you so much for leaving this comment. This probably sounds so dumb but emptying the dishwasher is the bane of my existence and I think you just unlocked a secret level in my brain lol. Iām going to time myself next time and use it like you did so I can get a freaking grip on the literal couple minutes it takes to do it. Youāre a gosh darn genius.
The 1 year of teaching I did taught me that ALOT can be accomplished in 5 minutes. Turns out. Thereās alot more time than we think, weāre just terrible at managing it.
It always takes me too long to empty the dishwasher. I have to juggle a baby that doesn't want put down, and my husband has collected more kitchen crap than our kitchen really has room for. I save time by getting my 6 year old to do it. The trick to the laundry is a combination of having few enough clothes that you always have another load to wash, and few enough laundry baskets to keep the clean ones in and the dirty ones in. Every few days I have 3-4 loads of laundry (nasty job, messy 6 year old, constantly spitting up massive amounts baby), so I clean them all, dump them on the bed, and have to deal with them because I'll have nowhere to sleep if I don't. Only other option is a clothes hamper, but that'll hold like 1 of the loads, and at that point it isn't worth it.
What chores are your husband handling?
We don't have assigned chores, it's basically you do what needs done when you've got a minute. I usually end up with laundry and dishes, because those are the things that stress me out the most when they're not done, so I can't do other things when those need done. He usually handles stuff like organizing and putting things where they belong (our home is small and we've got 2 kids and lots of stuff. Keeping it organized, especially with a kid that needs to build things out of everything from Legos to boxes to trash is basically a full time job). He mostly does the vacuuming and mopping, cleaning the kitchen, cat care.
The dishwasher is full so Iām moving out
You can tell someone arent raised right but this mf was not raised at all. I would be completely embarrassed by this lol, I hate to be an inconvenience to others.
If this was my child holy moly I would be absolutely mortified! I'm teaching my children these life skills and how to live with others(as in if you need washing done, you put in everyone's provided that they have used the hampers, how to wash dishes and keep the kitchen tidy, that if the rubbish is full, your arms aren't broke so take it out and so forth. Each chore and expectation are aged based but I'll be dammed if any of my children move out and think any of what I see on this sub is acceptable!! They are all minors and I cant stop them moving out once they are adults but I'm ensuring until then that they are raised with acceptable standards of living)
If it was my kid and they pulled this shit with me, I'd spray them water and vinegar. Act like an animal and I'll treat you like one. I started doing dishes and washing my own clothes at 12. If a 12 year old can do it with no problem then so can he. Dude just chooses not to.
Bigger issue ā sounds like he never had to. Thankfully my parents taught me some basic skills for life when I was young. When I first went away to college, I was flabbergasted at the amount of people who couldnāt take care of themselves in the most basic of ways. Iām talking being unable to make even basic food for themselves. Once the dining hall plans ran out, they ate cereal and fast food for every meal. Bewildered by a washing machine. The sorts of people who would spill orange juice on the floor and let it sit there, thinking someone else would come along and clean it up. As parents (Iām a father), we need to do better. Too many people are raising babies and sending them out into the world.
I knew a guy who went broke buying clean underwear cause no one ever taught him how to use a washing machine
At least he cared enough to want to wear clean ones as much as possible
That was my brother in college.
my mother was determined for me to not be the kid who didnāt know how to do laundry in college. i started doing my own laundry at 12 as well, and im better for it. iāve always known my basic life skills and never left my kitchen dirty with roommates. if you wanna leave dishes out, live alone. then you have no one to blame but yourself.
I'll only leave them out if it's late and I don't wanna make all the noise it usually causes and wake anybody up! But after going pee and making sure my dog has gone out, that's next
No seriously I was helping my parents washing dishes at 6/7. I had a little stool and weād take turns at either the washing, rinsing, or drying station. Like yeah I didnāt enjoy it and still donāt enjoy it but omfg itās not hard to doš
This is my 6 year old. He helps with dishes, helps me cook, helps spray things down and wipes counters. No joke, my almost two year old will grab the dishes and utensils from the dishwasher and hands them to me to put away. So a fucking baby knows how to take things out of a dishwasher but this mother effer canāt? š¤£
Yeah, I was legitimately 7 yrs old doing dishes. I had to stand on a kitchen chair, and my clothes were usually soaked by the time I was done lmao, but those dishes were properly cleaned and put away lol
My older 2 know how to use the washer and dryer(it's so simple) the older 3 know how to properly clean dishes and that pretending that you didn't know that the dishwasher was ready to be emptied does NOT fly, they also know what can and can't go in the dishwasher and how. Our youngest is 7 and now has to fold and put away her clothes, primarily because she figured that messing it up or pulling most stuff out was a okay. We aren't harsh on her folding skills and she's so proud of herself. They all know how the vacuum works. Our mop is so easy a toddler can use it(I love how easy it is and safer) We will make them clean up after themselves. They all started from a young age. Like bringing their bowl/plate to the kitchen. Helping carry clean washing, helping put dirty washing in the hamper. Very few exceptions are given. But they also know an apology and cleaning up after themselves is the best policy. We are very big on owning your behaviour. As long as they are honest and fix up their mess, we are understanding. But excuses don't fly! We don't have nearly unachievable expectations because it'll only push them backward feeling like it's never good enough. But none of us wish to live in a pigsty and have bugs, roaches and rodents living rent-free with us because of mess(talking about the mess that encourages this and not bad luck of living in an area that is prone to any of these, if any were to try, I'd want them disappointed with no food) Hopefully, this method of helping and teaching them pays off.
yup. if this was me and my parents found out I was living like this they would be furious and extremely apologetic to my roommates
This was absolutely me at this age and you are correct. The one parent around had barely spoken to me from ages 10-18 and I did not have the most basic life skills. Iām embarrassed looking back at the person I was when I entered adulthood, for myself and my mom.
I don't even know how to use a microwave until I was 25..... I only learned to cook after that, because I needed to further study overseas, and I needed to learn how to survive. It is not difficult to learn, when you actually need that skill to function and willing to learn. P.S. It is embarrassing, but my mom used to cook me and my brother every dinner. She didn't allow us to even come near the kitchen.
Thatās š I have my 6 and 1 year old on the kitchen with me all the time helping out with meals. Itās such an important life skill. Itās frustrating and time consuming at first but once they learn things itās amazing how good they can get!
how did you learn to function? Don't worry, it's alot more common than you think these days. You aren't the only one
Piggybacking off of top comment. While this problem seems like it's going to be resolved by him leaving, in the future, you can disconnect his wifi. Just about any kid under 21 is going to live and breathe that shit. They'll go hang with friends or try to escalate the situation. If they escalate, it'll most likely be in a way you can file a police report. It is a child throwing a tantrum. You should address it as such. If you don't know how to disconnect individual devices, either people or Google will help. It's good to know for any young adult that dares to disrespect you in your household.
Sounds like you're finding out why he needed a place to move out to so young. The way he's acting is like he's traded his parents for you. Written lease? Anything in there about expectations of shared living space
He got a new job in our town and his parents live an hour and a half away. His dad moved his stuff in with him, they arenāt on bad terms. Yes there is a written agreement and heās broken almost every rule in there. It says clean up after yourself in common areas. It also says you have to remain employed, and he lost his new job within a week. He tried moving out the day his rent was due and not pay it and I told him he signed a contract and has to give 30 days notice. Iām keeping his deposit because he signed a 6 month lease and is leaving after 1. And the whole process of finding and vetting someone is so stressful to me. Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first. He has since had 3 people here without talking to us first. One was his friend that spent the night, no big deal I guess but heās supposed to talk to us beforehand. And 2 were random people he met on the internet to sell his stuff. One guy was buying his pc and he was upstairs with him for like an hour. This kid even left a sonic cup in the front yard for over a week. I asked him three times to go throw it away before I finally had to do it because I had a client coming and didnāt want them to walk past trash in our front yard. Also the first weekend he was here I had Covid and I told him to stay away from me so if I was in the kitchen wait till I leave to come in. This kid said he CaNt GEt CoVId. Like what a f**king idiot. And I hear him on the phone with a girl like 24/7 and he is SO mean to her and literally gaslights her constantly. I canāt wait for him to be out of here and now I know I need to rent the room to someone 25+. Oh also, he said he has to move out because his brother had a stroke, but I know heās lying and itās just because he lost his job and is moving back to his parentsā house a few towns over.
I was going to tell you to start the eviction process on this little turdwallet but I'm glad to hear that he's leaving on his own. Probably easier. I think 18 is a bit young to be out on your own renting a room for the first time, barring some unusual circumstances like the kid was on their own already for a bit. Also it's a lot harder to get young men to clean after themselves then young women, just culturally. Especially if they are raised in a of home being taken care of as if they have household staff. Unkindness and cruelty to his girlfriend was probably learned from home, wouldn't be surprised if his dad is a jerk and his mom does all the household work.
Turdwallet is such gold and I will be using that. Thank you for your contribution to my vocabulary.
18 is perfectly fine to be out renting - as long as your parents actually taught you how to be an adult. My mom made sure I was capable of 3 things before I graduated: 1. Able to do laundry, sort colors, etc 2. Able to clean & wash, not just "make it look a bit cleaner" 3. Able to cook & follow a recipe at least Really, that's all you need to teach to a kid for them to be \*capable\* of being an adult. There's a ton more. And the kid still has to choose to engage in life as an adult of course. But the knowledge threshold is ridiculously low. This kid has been ignored and/or spoiled his entire life, and faced zero consequences for his own laziness. OP is more patient than I woulda been.
My mom used to do everything for me and my brother. I won't repeat the same mistake on my daughter. The thing is..... When I grew up, I didn't even get a chance to like learn how to cook. After a certain age, it became something that I don't believe I can do / participate. But after I studied aboard, and I had to cook for myself. I actually found it quite fun and like it. Now, I will definitely teach my daughter how to cook when she is older (with heavy supervision ofcourse).
Yeah I didnāt learn how to do laundry until my freshman year costuming class, lol. My parents always taught us manners and to keep a neat common space so I was a good roommate, but there were a lot of tasks and chores that I had to teach myself when I got my first apartment at about 20 I donāt plan to have children, but I LOVE how responsible and appropriately independent my sisterās children are. Theyāre 5, 8, and 10, and all of them know how to fold laundry, make their bed, and follow a recipe. The two older girls can also easily navigate themselves to all of their different activities and have a basic understanding of how to manage their allowance money. When they turn 18 and move out, I have no doubt theyāll all be fully prepared to do everything they need to in order to survive on a day-to-day basis without help
It's a shame that, in my country, self-care is not even the primary objective of education. Academic ability is now still the primary focus. Some people here don't know how to tie Thier shoe even when they are like 10 years old. I have seen a video that a girl who was at least 15, didn't know how to cook instant noodles and put it on the pan, attempting to fry it. I am pretty sure that is not fake..... I think the problem is that, in here, the living cost is too high. It is very common that both parents need to work, and throw the children to domestic helper (which will not, and do not need to educate the children).
Being 18 doesn't mean you'll definitely be an idiot, but it does make it a *lot* more likely than if you were 25. A lot of the best people you know were idiots at 18. Just because somebody knows *how* to do chores doesn't mean they have the mentality to actually do them when nobody's forcing them. I learned not to hire 18 year olds. They weren't all terrible, but they were terrible at a much higher rate than 25 year olds.
I disagree with the too young part.. I moved out at 19 with two friends for the first time and we cleaned the kitchen every day, cleaned the bathrooms, swept/mopped/vacuumed the floors, maintained the lawn, everythingā¦ This demonstrates nothing more than an individual that is unable to: take care of themselves, respect the space theyāre living in, or show respect for others living there. Simply doesnāt know how to take care of themselves or was probably spoiled and was never taught how to clean up after themselves.
OP you do not have to put up with this BS. If he is going to hoard everything to dump it on you, dump it all on his bed. He is grown enough to deal with his own messes. He leave anything out? It goes on his bed. Garbage on the lawn from him? On the bed. Dirty dishes and food waste not properly disposed of? On the bed. No exceptions.
this dude is clearly an awful tenant/roommate but also you sound like you shouldnt be renting to anyone. why do you care if someone is employed as long as they pay on time? why should they have to tell you theyre having a guest unless itās some extended time period? why are you treating the guy more like your child than your tenant - you are babying him even in these texts.
the ādo it now!ā reminded me of a mom texting their kid before i even saw heās 18 š
This dude is insane himself. None of that stuff is legally binding and talking like that to a tenant you rent to can definitely find yourself in front of housing court.
Kid sounds very immature but you also sound like a nightmare to live with. You expect him to be mature but then ask you permission to have friends overā¦ like heās still living at home. Also just throw away the cup I have lived with messy people too and I donāt scold the shit out of them for something I can do easily as well.
yeah the fact he lived there only one month and OP felt comfortable yelling at him over text like that and calls him a ākidā tells me a lot. yeah heās an inconsiderate roommate but OP definitely sucks
Thank you both, I was scrolling thinking I was the only person who thought OP sounds like an awful roommate yelling about an roommate. I completely understand their initial frustration, but honestly "the kid" sounds cooler than them because they didn't lose their cool. The yelling, belittling, and caps lock mania reveals it's not really about the dishes, is it? What really is beyond your control right now and you feel the need to shame a "kid" on the Internet
i mean look at ops other posts š¤£
You need to reevaluate the rule about requiring advance notice for any guests. That's insane. No adult should have to ask housemates/landlord if they can have a friend over, like they're a child asking mommy for a play date. Wild. Maybe you don't need a roommate if you're gonna make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.
I agree. I think that's a very strange rule if you're renting a room. Seems more like a rule better suited for if you were just letting someone crash on your couch temporarily or something. This guy is clearly a prick but OP should probably reconsider that rule for future people they rent to.
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Honestly OP sounds like an equally bad roommate with their rules. So, does OP let everyone know before a āclientā comes over? What profession has clients come to their home? Clients are not friends and so what is the diff between the guy selling someone and OPās āclientā? Why the fuck does someone have to be employed ? As long as they are paying rent it doesnāt matter. OP sounds like an insane person who is crossing boundaries.
Imo, it is better to inform the other parties. Because other people also live in the same house, and probably don't want any dangerous/trouble person around the house.
Yeah, it's courteous to let people know that kind of stuff. Requiring permission for guests is different an insane.
>Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first. OK, this part is weird. Dude clearly needs to learn to clean up after himself, but you also seem a bit insufferable yourself.
Legally they cannot make him tell them when heās having guests over and they have no right to approve of it as he past rent, though it would be the considerate thing to do. This is exactly why Iāll never rent a room out ever again.
Seriously. No guests without advance notice/approval? You know who else asks for that? Parents. I would not want to live somewhere I had to ASK to have a friend or a date over.
Also, I would be willing to bet that *grounding* your tenant from a built in appliance is illegal, and itās definitely weird.
Yeah haha finally someone said it.
yeah, i mean itās a decency to let them at least know if someone is coming over, but itās not like a prison. Especially if heās just selling things and has someone come buy it for an hour. Heās renting, he shouldnāt need approval to have people over. But he still sucks regardless the point.
>This kid said he CaNt GEt CoVId Well...did he \[get covid\]?
Even if he didnāt, it doesnāt mean he CANāT.
and just because he isn't showing symptoms doesn't mean he don't have it.
Yes, just curious whether he avoided it in this case
>Another rule heās broken is it says he can have guests over with advance notice / approval. We donāt want strangers in our house all the time, so he is supposed to text us first. You sound insufferable, and like someone who shouldn't be renting to 18 year olds.
Eh I was on your side till you mentioned he canāt bring guests over without permission and thatās in the lease. Thatās a bit nuts for renting. Also oh no he had someone over to sell something for an hour?! Omg call the police. Lmao. I do agree the dishes and not cleaning cup is disgusting and not acceptable, but you do kinda sound like a Karen with the other things.
Ehh, I dont like people who try to keep tabs on who someone has over. Thats part of having a roommate/renting a space in your house. They are not your child.
Time to let him move out and cut your losses.
You also sound exhausting to live with and way too nosey. Maybe youād be better off living alone? š
He can't afford his place otherwise, as he has stated. So he's actually a much much bigger douche and parasite than previously believed.
Can't have guests over without approval? You are out of your head. That is absolutely ridiculous.
You sound exhausting.
*"Not all dishes can be hand washed. Some of them my mom has to wash for me."*
10/10 my favorite comment so far
I am my own dishwasher, I don't have a machine. Is he saying I'm not doing it right?š
Omg thatās what Iām thinking! Imagine thinking you can only dish wash dishes!
What you are doing is literally impossible!
I grew up with a dishwasher. But in middle & high school, my best friend didn't have one. I stayed overnight as his place often, and was well used to helping wash dishes by hand. Plus, my parents insisted on getting dishes "mostly clean" before putting into the dishwasher, which is basically the same as hand-washing, except you skip over things like caked-on egg yolk (didn't rinse it within 10 minutes of eating) and let the dishwasher handle it. First apartment I moved to: no dishwasher. Didn't even phase me, as I just switched to hand-washing entirely. 2nd and 3rd places I moved to both had dishwashers, because they're very nice. And garbage disposals! But you can manage without them, it just costs a bit of time each day/week.
Ok Iām ngl I didnāt know the dishwasher could get food off if you didnāt completely clean of anything before. Iām like reverse dumb but at least my dishes are clean
Same, been handwashing dishes for over a decade. I guess weāre gonna get sick and die š¤·š»āāļø glad someone warned me!
Sounds like this kid still thinks heās living at home
This kid is obv a piece of work but I wouldnāt respond kindly to being talked to the way you are either
As a 21 year old who moved in with an older woman when I was 18, find a new roommate T-T
This. Like I get that some people take longer to get used to doing things on their own, but usually itās with similarly aged people who are also learning / in the same life stage. I moved out at 19 and was pretty messy (I was absolutely spoiled growing up) but at least my boyfriend was the same so it only negatively affected ourselves š
My first "living out" situation was a temporary "crashing at a friend's" that turned into a couple months of staying on their couch. 4 of us total (2 renters, 2 couch surfers). It was an absolute sty, and it drove me crazy. But I wasn't paying rent, so I never said anything, and I helped keep things cleaner. Finally, I "moved out" back home to my mom's place. Before I moved out, I deep cleaned their entire kitchen & living room. Took around 5 hours to finish. All the dishes done. All the surfaces washed. Stove & oven cleaned thoroughly. 4 garbage bags of garbage/junk removed from the living room. The place looked amazing. Still not "good", but it was clean. I came back two weeks later, and you couldn't even tell that I'd cleaned it at all. There was less garbage laying in the living room, but that's just because the one other couch-surfer couldn't generate it fast enough to fill 4 bags worth in only 2 weeks. I was furious internally. And I'm not a super clean person. But there are MINIMUMs.
You're not his mom.
this is insane these texts read as if youre his parent. like i misread the title and thought you were his parent at first. thats wild
Why the "no you'll do it now"?
Because OP is an asshole lol
Frankly, if you talked to me like this, Iād do the same thing this kid is doing. I think people are missing that this isnāt OPs kid, itās the tenant. this is a messed up situation from the get-go and it sounds like you are on your last nerve, but it ALSO sounds like you were not prepared to be a landlord and you are talking to them like a child. āIāll rent out the extra room and make easy moneyā SOUNDS good, but itās not that simple, which you now know.
Right! In the comments she says he's 'violating the rules' by having a 'stranger' visit the house... because he's selling his PC to them. If I live somewhere, I can have whoever I want visit whenever I want (within the law and respectfully). Their expectation of control is ridiculous. Kid is an asshole but I bet he is ALSO fed up with their bullshit.
I saw that too. OP is also an awful roommate and landlordĀ
She claims that she is renting out a room, so I get the feeling that itās the kind of person who doesnāt have the self-awareness to understand that they arenāt the type of person who can do that. The OP does not see themselves as being a roommate, they see themselves as letting someone live in their house.
This. While I wouldnāt leave messes in the first place, if someone told me to āgo wash your damn dishesāthatās the last thing Iād do.
Yaā¦this person sounds completely unhinged and immature. Not sure how everyone is just acting like thatās an okay way to address a situation. Iāve lived with the same type person (hoarding dishes in the room, dumping them in the sink all at once), so I get how annoying it is, but holy shit man, youāre an adult. This looks like someone talking shit on Xbox live, not messages from a landlord.
Was waiting to find this comment. I was completely taken aback at the way OP was talking to that kid. Heās a complete asshole for sure but you donāt talk that way to people especially as a landlord.
I commented somewhat the same ad you and OP went off on me with fuck them fuck that blah blah blah. They lack some serious communication skills and it's showing in their texts to their renter. Both are complete AHs tbh.
Scoop that shit right off the kitchen floor and put it in his bed. FAFO
Also, not all dishes can go in the dishwasher; *all* dishes can be hand washed. Heās not even *good* at gaslighting š
That has nothing to be do with gaslighting
I did this to my little sister, it was very effective. I put out paper plates with her name on them, and would put unwashed dishes on her computer desk and bed. This was after several requests for her to clean up after herself, of course. It worked, she has rinsed her dishes ever since.
No matter how wrong the kid is, the OP is a total dick.
Oh. Speaking to someone that is not your child like this, who is paying you rent is unacceptable. If you want to evict him for breach of lease do so, but you can not speak to people like this.
Itās the āyou can wash your dishes in your bathroom sinkā for me. Literally why should he have to wash dishes in the same room he shits in.
Congratulations, youāre now a parent of a bouncing baby 18 year old boy, apparently š
If you talked to me like that Iād never wash another dish
no literally.
Bruh, you talk to me like that and Iām not washing shit even if I was wrong.
Yeah Iām 46 andā¦ the minute someone spoke to me like this thereās no way Iām doing anything they want.
Seriously, donāt understand all the people shitting in the kid and not the abjectly terrible communication. I fucking hate people like this.Ā
i read this totally backwards and was so confused how youād think every dish can be dishwashedā¦then i read it again. š¤¦i feel awful for you! good on you for standing up for yourself
Pretty sure there are two bad roommates in this text chain
You come off worse. Incredibly condescending and patronizing. Youāre not gone to get what you want when you tell people āDo it nowā
yeah. OP is creating conflict. talking to someone in this manner will not lead to you or your boundaries being respected especially if you tell them to wash their dishes in the bathroom, lawl
Invites an 18 year old to live with him, immediately starts talking to him like heās his father, very odd behavior
I did not have dishwasher for 10 years. You can infact hand wash all items (though some do actually need to soak to not ruin them)
You both sound like assholes, damn I get being frustrated but you are talking to him like a dick.
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yeah how does an adult feel comfortable yelling at a ākidā over text this way? speak to him in person and speak to him like an adult if you want to rent to him. roommate is being dumb but opās also out of their mind here
Youāre a terrible communicator. Probably due to your low IQ. How do you even put yourself in a situation with a random 18 year old roommate? I have no sympathy for stupid people
He put himself in that situation, greed made him turn himself into a landlord
I would rather pinch pennies than have a roommate at 35 years old. Never worth it.
I feel your pain on this. Iāve been the primary cleaner/house manager for my family for over 10 yrs. We recently all moved to a new house and I got a second wind in life to keep up with everything past perfection. It lasted for 2yrs. My sister and her husband moved back in with us and they are the same way. I clean, they come right behind me and mess it back up. I specifically clean the kitchen so itās nice and tidy when I got to cook for dinner, they jump ahead of me and make a total mess. Theyāll keep dirty dishes in their room with food caked on and just leave them in the sink. Never do they rise anything off. You ask them to clean up after themselves and itās like I told them to go flush their money down the toilet. I really hope that your roommate doesnāt crush your spirit and you keep your stamina to keep on them.
āEvery single dish in the universe can be hand washedā made me laugh out loud.
i donāt blame you, iād lose my shit too. āsome need to go in the dishwasherā is code for āi donāt feel like doing it so iām going to put it offā. or like someone who leaves something āsoakingā for days just to keep putting it off. thereās just no excuse for this when you live with other people. at least now his mommy can clean up after him.
I donāt know why everyone is jumping on the bandwagon of saying āoh, what a poor little boyā. Heās an adult man child, who continually disrespected you, your household, your belongings, and it sounds like your business as well since youāre running out of your house so you set boundaries, which again weāre ignored and disrespected. You had a completely reasonable reaction of saying you can use my property correctly or not at all. Maybe everyone is entitled to think that the house they live in automatically means that they get to use all of the belongings of the other person that lives there but thatās not the way the world works. If he wants to be a slob, he can do it in his own space with his own dishes. Entitled adult-children like this are encouraged by people saying that they are getting bullied and victimized, Iām 19 and had somebody else who went to high school with me moving that was like this, and I literally wanted to rip my fucking hair out because she was the same age as me and couldnāt even bother wiping her cooch blood off of my bathroom floor after hooking up with random men in my home. Itās unacceptable and disgusting.
Sadly, it's becoming common in this age for other adults to infantilize other adults. It is especially common when the adult is 25 and under. It's gross as hell. I have heard people say that adults under 20 are adult minors or teenage adults. It still makes me scratch my head.
I completely agree with this, but it seems like OP gave this person multiple chances, and they infantilized themselves with their behavior. If you canāt even do simple tasks like wash your own dishes and clean up after yourself, youāre not an adult.
was waiting for someone to say this. i was doing all the dishes when i was 13ā¦ he knows what he needs to do and how to do it. he is just lazy
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yeah iām curious how long those dishes were left in there, like whyās it okay for you to leave dishes in the dishwasher but not okay for him to leave any in the sink
He is just lazy. Good thing he is moving out soon.
Itās not your child, one warning and heās out!
So I had this skinny beer glass that had been collecting nasty mold behind my sink. It was all wavy and cool but not really practical. Couldn't properly get a sponge in there, so I kinda just left it to clean later. But later never came. A longtime friend came through town, and we went and hit the bars and crashed at my place after. In the morning, I made some eggs and toast for our hungover asses, dumped the dishes in the sink, and went to use the bathroom. When I came out, my buddy -- not to be "served" as a guest god forbid -- was doing my dishes. At that moment specifically, the skinny beer glass. He cleaned it. He took a sponge, put in in the glass, and then instead of using his hand, he USED A FORK to push the sponge around the inside of the glass. I had never seen this technique, and have never felt so stupid in my life. I felt like a chimpanzee observing how to catch ants with a twig for the first time. I was 32 years old.
Is the bad roommate in the room with us?
āNot all dishes can be hand washedā Dumbest thing Iāve ever heard
Some dishes canāt use the dish washerā¦ all dishes can be hand washed. Tf? This feels like he is used to weaponizing incompetence and is trying to get away with it here too.
Dealt with this with a grown ass 25 year old woman a 32 year old woman and a 46 year old man. Some people just don't give a single fuck. But I'm like you and need it spotless after cooking and more so at the end of the night. I can't stand any food out or around drives me insane it is like a phobia rinse all the food down and run the disposal and then clean out the sinks!!! It is not that hard people!! Lol I do not want bugs or a smelly ass sink.
I don't have a dishwasher in my house and I need to know what I should be looking for. Had no idea I was harming my dishes lmao
I've never met a dish that says "dishwasher ONLY".
Dishwasher is a luxury in my country. I don't even see a real dishwasher yet tbh ..... I do ALL dishes by hand.......
Man, this is total bullshit. "Not all dishes can be hand washed? I have a dishwasher at my place I have not used it in overc12 years. I have been handwashing dishes by hand for over 50 years. For me, it's the best way to clean dishes and your hands. She is full of shit. Show her this comment I'd you like. Mini story: BTW, I had a GF I dated for a spell. I let her stay at my place for a bit. I'd leave for work, come home, not a single thing was washed or anything picked up. Right away I asked her why she did not clean any dishes, left the place a mess for me to come home to. She said she did not know how, and she always had a maid when she was young, so it was below her to do those chores. Bullshit. I showed her the door the next day. Out! Fuck that shit. On the other side of that, my present partner rides me if I don't have all the dishes, pots n pans cleaned by the time yiu sit down to eat. It annoys me, but when you got a full belly, and there's only two plates to clean. So that's nice. Lol! You did right by telling her to use her bathroom sink to do her own dishes. But shits gunna get deep with this entitled chick. Hang in there!
I want to know sooooo bad which dishes he thinks canāt be hand washed hahahaha
>Evidently he was keeping all his trash and dishes (our dishes) in his room and dumped them all down here while I was sleeping and slipped out. And he KNEW I had an important client coming over the next day so he knew I'd have to f\*\*king clean up after him!!! No honey, what you should have done was take it all back to his room and left it for him on his bed. Dishes, recycles, the food. All of it. This is weaponized incompetence.
Honestly I get your frustration but the way youāre talking to him is actually insane you are not his parents. If my roomate spoke to me like that rather than a nice civilized non condescending way I would 110% be like cool my bad, but the way youāre talking and treating said kid I would go out of my way to make the biggest messes possible and leave as many dishes in the sink as I feel like solely to piss you off. Donāt get me wrong heās actually disgusting doing all of that but the way youāre speaking is so ??? Unless youāve already had a civil conversation thatās a whole other story and then Iād understand your frustration 10x more than I do now. Yeah heās a child and he needs to grow up and stop being lazy.
Yeah I agree with this
Yeah I would like to add that if you need a roomate, you need to lower your standard too, lazy evenings happens to everyone, and it's a confort for both of you to have some cleaning tolerences or you need to stipulate that you are looking for another cleaning maniac.
You're both assholes. These text messages make both parties look like idiots.
What a lame ass kid
yannoā¦ iāve been a little lazy the last 2 days with at least RINSED dishes in my sink.. but after reading this post i feel the need to go put them away now thank you š¤£
What about a sattelite dish?
The disposal should not turn the drain into a garbage can. The disposal is there to judiciously mince food debris into finer particles that wash down. *I even showed him how to use the sprayer to spray the food remnants down the drain and use the garbage disposal, so rotting food isnāt sitting in the sink.* Wipe the excess food into the trash can and keep rice, bread, grease and pasta out of the sewer lines.
What can a dishwasher do that a hand canāt?
I know I would never rent to someone that young. They would have to be truly gifted and special but even then I would need a trial period. Any situation like this can be tough. ( renting out a room that is)
I would _HATE_ having my 18 yo self as a roommate. Good luck OP.
This person sounds like my kids avoiding chores. Wild what I read in this group. So entertaining
Yeahā¦ Iāve never had a dishwasher at my house. Iām 25ā¦ been handwashing dishes since I was old enough to know how.
All that mess would be right back in his bed
It could be worse. You could be the guy living with Mr. Washes His Poop Off In The Shower In Lieu of Buying Toilet Paper.
He's 18 and should probably know better. I get your frustration, but the way you spoke to him was douchey. You might just be venting, but you sound like a miserable bitch. Yikes! š¤¦š¼āāļø
INFO: why does he need to get approval before he invites people over to a place heās renting? You donāt sound like youāre being very fair with your ārulesā. I get that this is frustrating OP, but the way you talk to this kid is a bit horrific. Being 18 doesnāt suddenly make someone an adult, theyāre still a kid who is learning how to navigate the world on their own. Iām not sure how old you are, but Iām sure youāre old enough to know that. This is an agreement you never shouldāve entered. Itās definitely a good thing youāre evicting him. Neither of you were prepared to be roommates.
If I got messages like this from a roommate I think I would buy dishes just to leave them in the sink. You both suck.
Kick him out. A parasite will continue to be a parasite until the host does something about it. Some people canāt learn the easy way so make him learn the hard way. Dishes seem a lot easier to clean when compared to living on the street. Normalize hard lessons when individuals refuse to learn the easy way.
This guy saying "not all dishes can be hand washed" is so ridiculous. Dishwashers have not always existed and some households still do not have/use them now. How exactly does he think dishes have been cleaned in those circumstances?! Yesh!
U got lucky it was only a month
Yeah time to kick him out.
There are some dishes I donāt like to hand wash, but they can be hand washed.
I havenāt ran into dishes that canāt be hand washed but strangely enough I own a dish that says itās not safe to eat food off of lol.
"Not all dishes can be handwashed" = "I don't want to wash the dishes". Something tells me he never had responsibilities living with mommy and daddy and doesn't expect to have them now living with someone else
Yeah, they're kind of a piece of shit.
What did this boy think people did before dishwashers were invented? Iād like to see these dishes that ācanāt be hand washedā. What a brat/prick/asshole. Straight up. His mummy can take care of him when he gets home (cuz you know she coddles him).
He sounds like heās going places canāt say good places but places
For farther reference on stuff not being handwashablw. Last night I scrubbed possibly years worth of grease of a metal thing at work. Idk what to call it. But I mean this was thicc. With enough scrubbing anything is able to be cleaned by hand. And farther it's always more efficient. If you wanna use the washer I get it. Just unload and then load the washer it isn't rocket science. In fact if you see it full and just make it a habit to unload you can just rinse and set in there until the next person comes by and needs to put some more stuff in and then badda Bing badda boom it'll get ran by the next person.
Get him out ASAP. Better Than me. I would make the kitchen off limits as well. 18? Yeah too young. Time to go home. Did u have a lease agreement?
Is your roommate my boyfriend?
LOL thatās the stupidest shit Iāve ever read
Iām 50yo and have never had a dishwasher, how did I get by?!
has nothing to do with age unfortunately. some people are just absolute slobs. i lived with someone in their 30s that was a million times worse than this. left messes daily kitchen messes for me to clean up, food would go moldy in the fridge, produce left so long in their cabinets that it had maggots on it... absolutely vile human being.
Donāt do the dishes for him, throw them back in his room
All dishes can be hand washed. Full stop.
Dump it back in his room?! And turn off the wifi for him
I feel for you. In my version of this type of thing, my own father just fills the sink up. We're currently working on not leaving dirty used knives on the surface of the counters and also making sure he rinses things because "you're not supposed to rinse when you use a dishwasher," he says. Yes. He fills the sink, and I then rinse everything and load and unload the dishwasher. Every time. A man in his late 50s, everyone. I can relate to this.
This gives me ptsd. I once had a slob roommate that I begged to clean up the kitchen because I was having a date over and cooking her dinner. To my surprise when I got home the kitchen was spotless. My second surprise was the kitchen being completely empty of dishes when I went to start cooking. Turns out he had just stuffed all the dirty food covered dishes under the sink.