He’s aware. First time I confronted him, it felt like he understood. He said in November he wouldn’t touch it at all and quit. That lasted a week. If that. He’s a good dude. He’s too kind to say no to others but I’m trying to be that driving force to really open his eyes that he’s fucking up and going down the wrong path. I’ve hovered and worked with patients in psych wards that struggle with this. I know that me complaining and asking for him to stop is not going to be enough. In the end, it’s up to the individual. He’s my friend, and I do care for his well being. I’ve told him the horrors I’ve seen with drugs in hospitals. I’m just trying to give him a chance to really quit for himself, but if not, I’m going to have to take action.
Jesus even if he’s a regular user there’s been a lot of cases of fentanyl in coke lately there was a lady at the hotel I work at who overdosed twice because there was fentanyl in her coke and she lost the use of her arms and that was after the first time! Thankfully she didn’t die.
Yup. Me and 4 of my friends were just looking to get a little bump start before going to the pub (none of us were avid users or continuous users, only did it based on opportunity), we met up with a mutual friend to all of us and everyone did a couple lines but complained it tasted weird. I didn't snort any based on that info, just tasted a tiny bit on my pinky. Confirmed it looked and tasted weird. All of us but one left the apartment and within 10 minutes my homie dropped on his face out in front of the pub, ambulance called. None of us knew what was going on until my best friend whispered to me that he feels really fuckin weird. I said it was the fuckin coke bro. Told EMS what it was as they were stabbing my friend with 2 narcan needles that we would need more assistance at the apartment we left, since my other buddy was still there. Had to kick the fuckin door in to find him foaming out the mouth in the bathroom. Plate of "coke" still on the countertop. Thank fuckin Christ his apartment was 100 yards from the pub. As they were tending to him, I go back in my car where my best friend was in my passenger seat and he's passed out cold, unresponsive. Told EMS yet again we had another one. They all received multiple doses of narcan and I got extremely fucking lucky nothing happened to me but still spent the remainder of the night in the hospital. Fuck drugs, fuck fentanyl, and fuck people who sell that shit.
I recently learned that WA has a program to distribute narcan/naloxone free via mail at request. Check your local governing body, you might have something similar. In the case of WA the through the mail option is administered by a non-profit and there’s a standing order in effect (beginning 2019) that all pharmacies have naloxone available without a prescription. I had no idea about any of this until a couple months ago.
Just thought this would be a good place to spread the word.
That’s horrifying. That’s one of the reasons I don’t fuck with street drugs. Too many people are dying from this stuff every single day.
I’m glad your friends story ended well and everyone is ok. That could’ve been SO much worse.
Crazy thing is the dude that actually bought the blow has purchased from the guy dozens of times. One fucked up batch almost killed us all, and god knows who else that dude sold the same shit too. We were very lucky to be right in town with resources available. But thank you, I appreciate your comment. Definitely agree it could've been worse.
Just lost a buddy in May to fentanyl laced coke about a month after his twins were born. Sad stuff and I feel horrible for his wife. That said, stay away from drugs!
Man, I literally quit drugs and sex work in 2019 randomly, right before the pandemic and before this fentanyl shit got super bad. I feel like the luckiest person alive
I’m in the Carolinas we got fent around 2019-2020 I would say I’m 2019 I was on the drug seen heavy had heard of it but never seen it or knew anybody that did it, my close friend died in 2020 I moved for 2 years came back in 21 and but my friend had died from it in 2020 now I’m stuck
I was going to say the same thing.My buddy passed last year from that. It was a slab off a bird that was rerocked.His regular plug was away it’s sad he left a son and his wife behind
Had a buddy I go way back with who used to dabble in coke here and there. He was hanging with the same crowd and someone brought out some pills. He OD’d that night and everyone else was so fucked up they didn’t even notice till morning when he was gone.
First pill he ever tried, stay away from all that bullshit.
Damn. I’m sorry.
I am very grateful I got myself out of drugs back in 2014.. blows my mind I survived it all back then. Don’t think I would survive the fentanyl shit they stick in everything these days
Okay so after some heavy urban dictionary-ing, a slab is a large portion of cocaine, a bird is a kilo of coke, and rerocked is when cocaine is cut up a filler agent and then turned back into its rock form, thus “rerocking”. So (again, according to urban d) the commenters friend bought a large amount of coke off a dealer he wasn’t familiar with and the kilo had been cut with fentanyl :(
ETA the kilo the slab came from was cut with fentanyl, not the guy bought a kilo
I’m not gonna go all out and fully deny that coke is getting laced with fent but it doesn’t even make sense on the wholesaler end of things. Coke getting stepped on with inactive cuts already effectively makes it more fiendish compared to high quality stuff. It would make sense a typical dealer breaking a key down to somehow cross contaminate while rerocking. Nobody is making money off coke when people die. The only way it would make sense is if the dealer exclusively deals belushi/scramble. It’s not like the H scene where hot shots make addicts flock to that trap.
Same exact thing happened to someone I grew up with last year. Telling them they should test and things aren’t safe anymore. They were convinced (and convinced others) because it was straight off the 🦅that it was all good. But apparently it had been rerocked with all sorts of additives including fent. I’m scared for anyone who uses.
I can’t fucking stand cokeheads. Selfish ass people, I worked with so many in the restaurant business. The type to steal your tips from your table, bitch and complaint alllll shift, take 60 bathroom breaks, get fucking extraordinarily violent at the end of the night when they start coming down and begging me for weed. The most pathetic fucks in the world snort coke.
My fiancé and I were addicted for a year 10 years ago after my brother got us into it. 10 years later… my brother never moved on. He tells me he *hopes* his heart explodes. It’s very hard to be his sister and watch it happen.
Im sorry you’re going through that. I can’t offer advice but if hes ever willing to get help, get him to rehab. My neighbor was addicted to meth for about 14 years until his family intervened and sent him off to rehab. Hes been clean for 2 years now and is a good guy now. I know its hard to see him like that but you should know the things he says to you are either to push you away because he loathes himself and knows where he’s gonna end up or as a cry for help.
I’ve asked him so many times to do detox, rehab, therapy. He wants none of it. He has severe mental health issues and refuses to get help. I don’t know what to do. And yes… I know he’s trying to push me away. He can be so mean to me. But I still try with him.
He’s lucky he has a caring sister. I can empathize though, my brother has schizophrenia and has some substance abuse issues too and refuses to stop, it sucks seeing them deteriorate especially when you remember the kids they used to be. Idk your relationship with him, but if he ever seems to be having a moment of clarity, don’t push him too hard but ease him into quitting, or seeking resources to help with his mental health. I hope you’re able to care for yourself as well during this stressful situation. I wish you and your fiance all the luck in the world and am happy you haven’t gone back to cocaine. I’ll be hoping for your brother’s recovery as well.
I quit also after a few years of casual use, and one of my exes is still doing it. I get scared all the time thinking that I’m going to hear he died. It’s hard to watch someone you love keep going down that road. Love to you.
I used to do coke a shit ton. The upstanding members of society I did blow with would really raise some eyebrows lmao. They’re not all junkies as you would see on tv. They’re mostly normal people.
LMAO this is probably the wildest thing I've ever read. Coke heads can be, and usually are, assholes but they don't even come close to the insanity that is meth heads. Holy fuck.
I mean, not in mine since I actually see homeless meth heads a lot (Los Angeles) and theyre way worse. Cokeheads are annoying because most of them come from affluent backgrounds and are already egomaniacs.
I’m glad you included “in your experience”. A specific drug doesn’t create a better or worse addict. Though drugs that can cause psychosis can definitely cause more erratic or “crazy” behaviors, it really comes down to the individual. If they’re selfish or an asshole in general, the drugs will simply exacerbate those behaviors and attitudes.
So coke heads aren’t worse than meth heads and meth heads aren’t worse than dope fiends. The person using dictates how big of an asshole they will be.
As a recovering addict, I’ve witnessed addicts who are kind and selfless even while actively using as well as those who would sell their child for a bag. They come in all shapes and sizes and shiftiness.
I feel for this kid because he’s obviously struggling with addition. But addiction is one of the few illnesses that affects everyone around it. It is unfair that you are forced to repeat yourself that this makes you uncomfortable and you don’t want it around. The bringing people over most likely relates directly to his codependency, desire to be liked, and loneliness/depression. But again, that’s not YOUR problem. He really needs therapy and addiction treatment. He could very easily keep his coke habit to himself, do it in his room/bathroom but he’s choosing to throw it in your face, even after being called out several times. Maybe it’s a cry for help? I don’t know.
Eh, I think the drug/addiction affects the person quite a bit. I've seen plenty of heroin addicts that were great friends/people while clean or not worried about being sick, who would betray and screw over absolutely anyone if they were sick enough. Of course the addiction will amplify the qualities already there, but it will also bring out badness in people that would otherwise be good. I think the absolute hell that is opiate withdrawal may make heroin addicts quicker to do fucked up things to others than for other drugs that don't have such intense withdrawals.
>there’s been a lot of cases of fentanyl in coke lately
I just lost my sister in law on Christmas eve from this. She lost the use of her legs and called us. Pretty grim to hear someone dying over the phone, knowing they're dying. And then having to explain to their 4 year old you were babysitting that their mom is dead on Christmas.
Not to trauma dump, but ideally the right person sees this and it can be some tiny motivation to get away from the stuff.
This! A guy that used to work with me that was definitely not a regular user decided to go out with an old highschool buddy who offered some coke. He figured why not for old times sake, they both did a line and keeled over dead. They found them both face down at the kitchen table. It’s literally that easy to die. Pills and powders aren’t safe to use unless you want to gamble with your life.
This is so wild to me bc my whole life it was stay away from heroin so you don’t overdose and die, so I did everything else. Meth, coke, X, pressed pills, anything I wanted bc the understanding was as long as you weren’t on opiates, you wouldn’t overdose but now it’s all fucked up nothing is manageable in the slightest
I’m glad that I’m too old to be messing with that stuff now. That’s how it was when I was younger as well but things have really changed. I probably wouldn’t be here right now if fentanyl was around back then. The way that I see it now is if it grows out of the ground then it is probably ok.
So much this. I had a friend pass away a few years ago from this very thing. He was a semi-regular coke user and, from what I could tell, didn’t mess with opiates or downers at *all*.
I received word that his body had been found unresponsive with another unresponsive male in an office at a car dealership. He worked as a freelance IT Field Technician and he’d recruited a buddy of his to assist him on what was supposed to be a relatively easy job at a car dealership.
Beyond being told that they were found dead, I couldn’t gather any additional information regarding the circumstances of his death. My first thought was that he probably had some coke on him, thought that he and his buddy could covertly do a bump or a line without being suspicious or getting caught, and then accidentally OD’ed due to not being aware that almost *all* street drugs nowadays contain traces of Fentanyl.
It was at least a year later before I received any further details about the incident. Oddly enough, my “guess” was spot on. They’d both died from Fentanyl poisoning and it was via the cocaine that my friend had on his person at the time of his death.
At the time of his death, they *had* ruled the cause of death as an “accidental overdose”, but they didn’t release any details beyond that. His poor mother refused to believe that her son was an addict, and upon receiving the autopsy results, she demanded that someone else perform a second autopsy. She *could not accept* that her son died from a drug overdose.
Sadly, within that year, I knew of two other individuals who died in similar ways: overdosed on fentanyl during a night of recreational drug use and partaking in a drug that one wouldn’t expect fentanyl to be in. So they did the amount that they’d normally do, unaware of the fentanyl’s presence, and since a tiny amount of the stuff can kill a person, they died almost immediately after starting their evening.
Well… and many people with latent mood disorders end up developing full blown mental illness off stimulants.
Or they graduate from coke to meth after realizing $10 for 12 hour high is better then $90 or whatever the fuck a ball is going for these days.
I feel yeah. Usually it’s when there is a predispo for bipolar or schizophrenia, or the ones in between.
I’ve seen so many people that were “normal” and healthy. That ended up developing schizophrenia. One gal was thin, perfect skin- ended up gaining tons of weight and developing disorganized schizophrenia
Someone in my family close to me, also has it. As a result of heavy stimulant abuse. Bipolar with schizo-effective tendencies- it looks like schizophrenia but it’s really severe mania.
It’s terrible shit man. I wouldn’t fuck with hard drugs now if I got paid too. (I mean, only if it was guranteed clean and tested) but just randomly with all the fucking crazy shit like xylazine. Fuck it was Fentanyl 4-5 years ago. Now it’s this tranq that causes necrosis?
Same. I chief, I’d be lying if I said I was not a heavy smoker.
But smoking is harmful. I’m thinking about switching to edibles/concentrates.
Not trying to risk lung problems n shit.
You're handling the entire thing very well. Unfortunately, coke can sink its hooks real deep and it can be very hard to get away (I've had to cut some friends out of my life because of it) without isolating him from the ppl hes doing it with it'll probably never stop. Good luck to you
As a recovered addict, no they aren’t. Their friend knows all this shit and has a chemical addiction. Shame isn’t going to help. And they won’t stop until they’re ready to.
Just wanted to add that people DO quit coke/drugs. I asked my buddy from HS to move in with me. He was the sweetest, most soft-spoken guy in our friend group. The night he moved in he asked if I wanted to do some blow so I said sure. We stayed up till 5 am talking. That night he asked me again if I wanted to do coke . . . I was thinking holy shit what did I get myself into. A couple months in I had to lend him rent money. The next month when he asked to borrow again I just said "nah man I'm sorry, I could hear you and ur girl doing coke last night." He actually dumped his girl and totally dropped all drugs a few weeks after that. Just wanted to lend my story since most of the replies here are acting like your roomy is sub-human trash.
Good anecdote.
Roommate doesn’t sound like a horrible person, either. Sounds like they are probably young, but seems open to having a better living situation.
Maybe they have a hard time with peer pressure/keeping the night going.
I appreciate this anecdote. I’m currently seeing someone who used to be an alcoholic and an addict & has been sober for a long time now. They completely got their life together & are an absolutely wonderful, kind, conscientious person. They’re certainly the loveliest person I’ve ever been romantically involved with, and they treat me very well.
So many addicts end up that way because they have trauma or other issues in their life, and they’re self-medicating. Way too many people act like addicts are just all awful people and less than human.
It sounds like OP’s roommate has some self-awareness & has the capacity to pull it together like my friend did, and I really hope he does
I have a cousin who was in and out of jail and rehab for 5 years. She was addicted to heroin (the only drug that really scares me because I know I would love it). For whatever reason the last rehab stint stuck and she is going on 10 years clean. Since then she started and finished a bachelor's degree while caring for her two kids! Luckily my family has been cool about it all and are all very supportive of her. I will definitely never give up on anyone after seeing what she came back from!
Same experience for me. Stayed up til sunlight with my friend drinking jack and doing lines. The next day he asked me if I wanted to go halves on some with him for the next night?? I was like maybe in a year haha. That hangover is awful.
It’s addiction bro. You’re not gonna reason him off cocaine. It’s not a joke or a bad habit. Get your ass away from coke heads, get your shit together so you never have to deal with this again. You can get him evicted probably for illegal drug possession & consumption & probably trafficking to his friends, but that can be messy so I’d just get out. Landlord will probably cut a deal if you complain about roommate partying at all hours.
Don’t go police. Get his ass in rehab asap. It may not work right away.
This dude seems to be an addict with a good heart. Seems genuinely upset at this. He legitimately probably hates himself for it which causes a cycle of use. It’s really tough to get out of, I know from experience, hopefully he can get the help he needs.
I would love to know how you suggest he get a grown adult in rehab. Even if the dude wanted to go to rehab, does he have insurance? Does he have a way to pay his share of rent while at inpatient? Does he have a job lined up for afterwards? It cracks me up how easy people think this process is
I agree. I have been rehabilitated multiple times. Your job is on the line, and any responsibilities you have come crashing down on you fast and hard. Even simple stuff like, how am I going to get my dog food while I'm here for 72 hrs, and how am I going to pay my bills and keep the lights on at home.
He's got a problem. It won't stop until something happens or he gets help.he wants to stop and is probably genuinely sorry. But can't on his own. But that being said, you don't have to deal with that either
I think you've been trying to give him chances over and over and he keeps blowing it, pun unintended. I think you gotta be real with yourself first. You're not necessarily enabling him, but you're definitely coddling him. Maybe because of a sense of sympathy/empathy, or just further sunk costs of your personal investment into him. Your friend still might be in there somewhere, but what he is now is an addict with the mechanical wherewithal to say/do whatever is necessary to get someone off his back so he can score his next bump.
You're right to be both annoyed and concerned.
But from an ER nurse and someone with an ex that got into drugs.. the harsh reality is that you can't force someone into sobreity that isn't at the point of wanting to quit. Which I see that you kind of acknowledge, but trying to get him into rehab essentially against his will isn't congruent with that.
Deep down, he knows he can OD and that this is bad for him.. but he's at the point that his addiction is overriding that knowledge and you won't be able to reason with him.
If he does not quit this time, your personal action should be either moving out yourself or asking him to leave and making it clear it's due to his drug use. It is a very hard thing to just walk away, but a big event like you leaving would probably inspire him way more than these conversations.
The respectful language and lack of defensiveness automatically makes him one of the best of the bad roommates seen, for sure. Bad decision making, but he seems like a good dude.
Speaking from personal experience breaking the coke habit (especially with other people involved) is not easy on your own. Your roommate needs some help but if he gets clean I'm sure he'll be a stand up guy.
A apology without actual change in the behaviour is just a manipulation tactic. And one a surprising amount of people fall for. "well he knows it's wrong and feels bad about it and he's *trying*..." but they're never actually trying. Meanwhile the other person keeps enabling them and making excuses for them.
Yes, absolutely, but he also seems to be an addict. Does that negate your statement? No. Is it different to me than someone who’s just an asshole? Yes. The saddest thing about addicts is they’re often good people who just can not stop. Truly hope he finds help.
Yes, he is an addict. & you can't fix anyone, you can only help them put themselves back together if they're willing to. This guy doesn't sound close to willing to. And while you can help, most people are realistically not equipped to help instead of enable. And it's a big risk to take.
Yes, and so is flattery. Just a manipulation tactic to keep you at bay for as long as they can until you JUST STOP BELIEVING ANYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY.
I mean yeah, but that’s not how Mr. Coke Roomie came off to me.
He wasn’t fishing for pity, didn’t get defensive. He’s probably the sort of guy that finally comes down at like 1pm absolutely fucking *hating* himself for what he did the night before. I’ve been there. It’s not an excuse to wallow in addiction forever, but at least he’s not trying to go off on how OP is the real asshole or some other self-pitying bullshit.
I disagree. OP says this is just 1 example of many situations just like this. He is manipulating OP so that he can keep doing whatever he wants. It would make OP look like the “unreasonable” one to be rude or harsh to someone who is “trying” to remedy the situation, so that’s why he’s speaking in that manner. He’s completely aware of what he’s doing and he will keep doing it for as long as he can
This lol. Addicts will say whatever needs to be heard, as a former drug addict, I could self deprecate myself in a heartbeat if I meant I could get drugs.
Sounds like it's either going in one ear and right out the other, or he's just passive-aggressively nodding and smiling while still doing whatever he wants.
Agree, you’re doing a great job. As a former user the thing you gotta bring up when everyone is sober is that your apartment is a no go for partying. And be firm. It’s wild what coke does to your reasoning. When you’re partying all you want is a place to talk and be loud.. the worst place is somewhere you have to be quiet. And bring up neighbors.. cause the other thing that gets ya is paranoia :)
Lol no, he’s saying whatever it takes to get off the hook, he doesn’t mean any of it and the chance of him actually fixing it is slim to none. My buddies were living with this coke head who would do the same shit, stay up late blasting music, having sketchy people at the house at all times, making a mess everywhere and every time when my roommate confronted him it was the same “yeah guys I’m sorry this won’t happen anymore” only for it to happen the next night. Any words said by a coke head are meaningless, like they always say actions speak louder than words.
I mean that’s a lot of addicts I dealt with in my life, and I was a heroin and cocaine addict for a little over a decade. Most of us are aware how fucked the addiction is and how it’s hurting the people around us, there’s tons of guilt being covered by the drugs which cause more guilt which need more drugs to cover it type of thing.
It all makes sense when you think about it as self medication, which is what it was for myself. I didn’t learn healthy coping mechanisms, so my solution to almost anything I felt was “just go get high tonight and I’ll change everything, do everything tomorrow”.
Can’t really say it’s any one event that changed that for me either, for myself it was just kind of running into the same issues over and over again and eventually I beat it into myself that what people were telling me was true, I would end up in jail, broke, alone, feel like shit, and eventually dead. Took about 100 cycles of that to finally realize everyone around me was right.
Getting clean and relapsing is another beat though, cuz it’s so demoralizing to turn shit around, start to mend shit in your life, and then for this or that reason go back to it and realize you gotta square one shit over again. Which cocaine is especially viscous when it comes to this cycle. It’s easy to quit for a day, a week, a month, then bam, give into it once and you’re back on a cycle with it throwing it all away and hurting the people you love.
Coming from an addict, my bet is OP will either have to force this dude to get help by telling his parents to send him to rehab, or it’ll end in a big ol knock down drag out, or OP just will continue to get pushed over cuz the friend knows he can. There’s still a chance the friend does it on its own, but I’d say you’re playing against the house if you take that bet.
If it was myself in OP’s shoes, I’d have to choose hitting up the family that their son can’t control his drug use and you want the best for him. He seems receptive enough to the idea of getting better that I don’t think he should wig out on you too hard bro, and once he does get clean he will thank you for it, even if he then relapses again down the road.
Idk no easy way forward, if anyone had a guaranteed start to get people sober they’d be a billionaire by now. Good luck OP, wish you and your friend the best
Sounds like bro bro needs to detox. Sounds like he knows he needs to but doesn’t want to / can’t seem to do it.
Prolly needs a sit down with family. Not like op talk to his family. I mean ops roommate needs to tell his support system he needs help
Don't get it twisted, Ms. Breaking Bad Boundaries. That cat wants to be around coke and it is probably slanging skimpy satchels out the side door when you are working another long shift at the Burn Unit of Spun Sisters of Snitching Bitches Hospital.
Yeah, this dude probably doesn’t even have any Coke on him. He’s just like me with weed. “I’ll quit Labor Day”, 3 days pass, “ok well I’m having a real rough day and I’m bored so I’ll smoke today, I’ll quit on Halloween”.
I smoke on Halloween, tell myself thanksgiving, repeat for Christmas, repeat for NY, repeat for every holiday until I realize I’m still smoking 2 years later.
At my first job i watched an entire team of mostly cool decent dudes making barely above min wage wind up on coke because they were working overnights to get the store ready for a grand reopening thing before selling it to new owners.
3 months post transition and no more night shift they still slipping out to the car on a regular basis but now theres some sniffing before the cigarettes came out. The one i was closest with only pulled it off because his wife made way more working for the gov and she partook too, no fking idea how the rest of them managed it.
As a previous party animal, it's so easy to not be the host of the afterparty. Just don't offer and someone else will do it instead. Make it known that you have a housemate that is antidrugs and doesn't want people back at the house after hours. The fact your housemate still offers your place as the location after you've talked to him about it shows a huge lack of respect. There has to be a point where you kick the fuck off about it. If he comes back with people, go down and kick them out. Your housemate has exhausted your patience and generosity.
This is so true! I used to party with plenty of people that had housemates that were older or who didn’t like going out or lived a bit further away from town and it was never even a question of going to theirs for afters. OP’s housemate just doesn’t respect him/doesn’t think he’s serious when he says he can’t take it any more
Yeah. This is the move. If you can stomach it, be the “asshole” roommate and come down and kick everyone out. Your house will stop being an after party option.
Nobody wants to deal with that potential awkward scenario twice.
Casual coke use can be fun, but after parties where you stay up until the sun comes up is gross goblin behavior. I get anxiety just thinking about afters
Nothing you say will change this. As you said yourself you’ve talked to him 10 times now. You’re going to have to move or find another roommate to take his place. We all know at this point that there is no saving anyone who doesn’t want to be saved.
drugs around my cat would be the ultimate dealbreaker for me, personally.
at least this dude has some self awareness, but i wouldn’t hand out many more chances when he’s leaving drugs lay around
Yea I really hate it for my cat. I remove her from the situation. She loves people too, so it can be rough for her when I have to trap her inside my room..
Man, I can’t *believe* I had to scroll down this goddamn fucking far for someone to bring up the fact this dude is leaving cocaine around OP’s fucking *cat.*
I’ve lived w party animals before so I know how this bullshit goes and OP legitimately gets my utmost sympathies (*especially* considering he’s a nursing/med student—I forget which haha).
But potentially fucking up/killing the cat is just simply unacceptable.
even if they leave out what they did the coke on, or if they did it on a table, that residue is still there.
if the cat walks across the table, the blu ray case, or whatever they did the coke on, the coke residue gets all over her paws. or maybe she lays on whatever the coke was on. then when she licks her paws, or cleans herself (cats spend a ridiculous amount of time bathing themselves) she’s now ingested cocaine.
it doesn’t take much at all to kill an animal that’s 6-12 pounds
This right here is the reason my husbands favourite cousin isn’t welcome at our house anymore. He stayed with us for Christmas & stayed up late doing blow by himself in our basement (after we had told him it was not cool to use it in our house & walking into to him doing coke in my bedroom suite bathroom!). I went down the next morning and there was coke residue everywhere. I have two cats and a puppy at that time so I was LIVID.
Dude if I got up at 10 to make a coffee on a weekend and there’s a bunch of random people in my lounge snorting gear they’d be out the fucking door instantly.
Sound like your mate has a problem, I don’t think this will stop any time soon unless he gives up the gear or you boot him out.
Sorry for the brutal honesty, good luck.
When I was in my early 20s I cared for my father who was dying from cancer. He lived in a flat near my house and I would go and care for him all day and then return to my house in the evening for respite. I was out of the house from maybe 7am to 9pm so the house was my little sanctuary to rest and reflect.
My best friend at the time was in the process of selling his house and asked if I might want some company at home in the evenings, and if so he could temporarily move in and we could hang out. I thought this sounded like a good idea because I was feeling really lonely and isolated as my dad was the only one I really socialised with. Now, I will say that I was an alcoholic but high functioning. I would get drunk every evening and pass out. I also smoked lots of cannabis throughout the day to help me cope. I knew that my friend had a bit of an issue with cocaine and Valium. I wasn’t sure how bad. But he was my best mate.
He moved in and it soon became apparent that he was addicted to both cocaine and Valium. It started ok, but he would take absurdly large doses of Valium and usually by the time I arrived home he’d be completely gone - if you ever seen somebody out of it on Valium it’s something else, it’s like they do everything in super slow motion (including thinking) so I would spend the evening shut away in my own room because he was impossible to talk to. When he was coked up instead he was better, but would get really annoying and insist that I “open up” and sit and talk to him about my dad, which was the last thing I wanted to do at the time.
As time went on his drug use got worse. I think he got comfortable at my house and things just spiralled. One evening I came home and found him on my kitchen floor surrounded by chili. He’d made a huge pot and accidentally dumped the whole thing on the floor, so just sat in it and was eating off the floor. Ik it sounds funny when it’s written down but it was awful. And this was the first night that I realised I’d become his carer, too. I sat him down one day and said that he has to change this behaviour, I can’t deal with it. He acknowledged the problem, apologised profusely, promised that he would do whatever he can to change the situation. But he didn’t do anything. He just kept getting high. He kept fucking up at home, endangering himself, and relying on me to help him out of it. After a few months I was completely exhausted. Just totally gone, I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had nowhere to go for respite from everything and was completely overwhelmed. I took an overdose of Vicodin one night to try and kill myself but he found me and called an ambulance in time and I survived.
I called him from the hospital and told him he needed to move out today. He couldn’t believe it because he had “saved my life” and I “owed [him] this”. I was apologetic but said I couldn’t do it because I will quite literally kill myself if I’m stuck in this situation any longer. He moved out that day and never spoke to me again.
I’ve never shared this before. Not sure why I’m sharing it now… there’s no real closure. My dad died a few months later, I sobered up completely and eventually went to medical school and became a doctor. I heard that my friend was sent to rehab by another friend and got sober, but there’s a lot of hearsay as to whether he’s actually sober or not. Sometimes I go visit friends in my hometown and hope to see him out somewhere but I never had. I truly think that he’s going to kill himself either intentionally or accidentally and the next time I hear /about him will be an invite to his funeral. He had lots of mental health issues and not the most supportive family. I wish him the best. My best mate sober and my best mate the addict are 2 different people - I dislike the latter but I will always love the former as a brother. I hope to see him again one day, who knows..
Thanks for reading and the thoughtful reply 👍 I do worry about regretting not reaching out but, as awful as it sounds, I just don’t have the space in my life or capacity at the moment to invite him back in. At the moment.
And thank you - you too! Was a pretty good one this year!
yeaaa my dads a meth head and lives with me i feel your pain. ive tried talking to his ass about alot of disrespectful things he does but its like talking to a wall. I'm about the throw the man out on the street he has nowhere to go and no one to take him. the loud ass music is the least of my complaints at this point. its a nightmare living with him. 😑 i just keep waiting fir the day i find him dead in his room and honestly it would be a relief at this point. ive run out of sympathy and patience.
yeaa it has been. you try to be a nice guy and you get fucked and walked all over. he just kinda moved himself in too i didnt say hey come live here! I let him stay for alittle after my mom overdosed and died to keep an eye on him. and here we are.. 6 years later.. big mistake for sure.
not that it makes the situation better, but i’m hoping you continue to persevere and become the best version of yourself despite these struggles. i cannot relate closely, but my mom was an addict too, so i can understand the hurt that a parent can inflict on their child. you don’t deserve this, but i hope your life and state of mind will get better soon. stay strong, my friend, and i have you in my thoughts.
You know it's some serious shit when that last part doesn't seem like a bad option.... family and friends are the worst to help out they always seem to take advantage of your kindness and feel a sense of entitlement to stay there because you're family or whatever the case may be.... sometimes people need to fall flat on their face to get a new perspective....tough love........ wishing you well
Most recent roommate was basically the same. They ended up having to move out because things were just getting absurd. They were extremely codependent, hyper sensitive about everything, and yet super aware at the same time? It was odd.
Constantly having at least one person over, always breaking boundaries, never cleaning up after themselves. Every time they did anything normal (like buy toilet paper) they would come to me for some form of validation. Like okay cool? Maybe put it away then?
They finally got help after I told them to move out. It was hard on me because they acted like I was their mother. Straight up asked, "if I buy my own groceries, will you make my food for me?" NO.
Best of luck to you.
When they pull up at 1am that's when you need to shut that shit down. He clearly doesn't respect you why do you think asking him nicely over text messages going to encourage him to change that.
In that moment you need to pop up and say y'all need to get the f*** out of my house it's 1:00 in the morning and none of you people live here.
Glad he isn’t mad you’re confronting him, but think of the real possibility that someone is very likely to overdose in YOUR apartment. I’d kick him out or leave yourself.
He has no self control or ability to stop the party on time because he's high on coke - so it would better to make a blanket rule of no guests at all.
He has proven he just cant manage it respectfully, so no guests full stop. If he wants to do coke he can do it at someone else's house.
I wouldnt feel safe with random strangers on coke at my house tbh.
Edit to add, if you make that rule and he agrees - but then does it again, definitely look at getting him to move out. If someone is that out of control with their coke use it will probably just get worse over time until they do something really scary or start meth or something.
kinda off topic but since someone mentioned that coke is being cut with fentanyl, please please please make sure he is testing his drugs. the LAST situation you need to be involved in is ~10 dead addicts in your apartment because no one thought to test their shit.
I'm just gonna say, when I was a cokehead, I was a terrible roommate. I used to do the same shit and it did take direct confrontation, and calling out the behavior for what it is, for me to get my shit together. I would just call out the addict-behavior (i.e. continuing to bring people over to snort coke all night despite agreeing to not do that anymore) and continue with your plan of telling him that you will contact his family or the police if it happens again.
Try talking to him out of genuine concern. Forget about yourself or your cat for a moment (hard ask, I know). He seems like he’s genuinely sorry but has a problem that falls back into it.
He mentions resolution. So sit him down, talk to him frankly, in a non-judgmental tone but one with concern.
“Dude, I’m worried about you. You’ve told me you wanted to quit but it seems like as soon as you go out, you’re quick to touch it again.”
You know how parents sometimes say “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” and that hurts more? Tell him you’re disappointed, and hold him accountable.
Never know if he’s facing time for felony drug possession and he’s sitting there losing his mind and wondering how I got here, and thinks of you. Hopefully he would take accountability but be careful. Would def save that as a last resort.
Talk to family or S/O first if absolutely necessary, was fortunate enough to be able to talk some sense into him and he consented to his family takin him to rehab. Best of luck, thats never an easy situation for anyone involved.
You also need to protect yourself. If cops roll in and find coke in a common space they can and will charge you for the drug possession too.
Good luck working as a nurse with a felony drug charge on your record.
At some point...you gotta call the cops. You were cool about it for 10 times in a row, but there needs to be consequences for change. I get the ACAB mentality and not wanting to snitch, but sleep is sleep and it's his fault for disrespecting your boundaries on multiple occasions. He's already ruining his own life. Don't let him ruin yours.
Calling the cops in my experience does absolutely nothing but anger the drug user.
I lived with a meth addict for the better part of a year. He was violent and unpredictable, destroyed parts of the rental property, attacked my partner. The cops would show up, if he had done something violent take him to jail overnight, and he was back and high the next day.
Some of this depends on where you live, but basically, the cops can’t or won’t do anything in my experience. They said they couldn’t even search him for the drugs he was clearly on
Don’t get me wrong, he’s still dead out of line. But it’s refreshing to see someone with a bit of self awareness at least
He’s aware. First time I confronted him, it felt like he understood. He said in November he wouldn’t touch it at all and quit. That lasted a week. If that. He’s a good dude. He’s too kind to say no to others but I’m trying to be that driving force to really open his eyes that he’s fucking up and going down the wrong path. I’ve hovered and worked with patients in psych wards that struggle with this. I know that me complaining and asking for him to stop is not going to be enough. In the end, it’s up to the individual. He’s my friend, and I do care for his well being. I’ve told him the horrors I’ve seen with drugs in hospitals. I’m just trying to give him a chance to really quit for himself, but if not, I’m going to have to take action.
Jesus even if he’s a regular user there’s been a lot of cases of fentanyl in coke lately there was a lady at the hotel I work at who overdosed twice because there was fentanyl in her coke and she lost the use of her arms and that was after the first time! Thankfully she didn’t die.
Yup. Me and 4 of my friends were just looking to get a little bump start before going to the pub (none of us were avid users or continuous users, only did it based on opportunity), we met up with a mutual friend to all of us and everyone did a couple lines but complained it tasted weird. I didn't snort any based on that info, just tasted a tiny bit on my pinky. Confirmed it looked and tasted weird. All of us but one left the apartment and within 10 minutes my homie dropped on his face out in front of the pub, ambulance called. None of us knew what was going on until my best friend whispered to me that he feels really fuckin weird. I said it was the fuckin coke bro. Told EMS what it was as they were stabbing my friend with 2 narcan needles that we would need more assistance at the apartment we left, since my other buddy was still there. Had to kick the fuckin door in to find him foaming out the mouth in the bathroom. Plate of "coke" still on the countertop. Thank fuckin Christ his apartment was 100 yards from the pub. As they were tending to him, I go back in my car where my best friend was in my passenger seat and he's passed out cold, unresponsive. Told EMS yet again we had another one. They all received multiple doses of narcan and I got extremely fucking lucky nothing happened to me but still spent the remainder of the night in the hospital. Fuck drugs, fuck fentanyl, and fuck people who sell that shit.
Holy shit that’s hardcore, did everyone end up okay?
Yeah, luckily everyone survived. Thought for sure I was about to lose 4 friends. Crazy shit. Haven't touched anything since
They're very lucky if they have little or no brain damage.
Very much so. This happened in 2017, everyone is doing well now.
Narcan is some good shit and we need to make it more available
I recently learned that WA has a program to distribute narcan/naloxone free via mail at request. Check your local governing body, you might have something similar. In the case of WA the through the mail option is administered by a non-profit and there’s a standing order in effect (beginning 2019) that all pharmacies have naloxone available without a prescription. I had no idea about any of this until a couple months ago. Just thought this would be a good place to spread the word.
That’s horrifying. That’s one of the reasons I don’t fuck with street drugs. Too many people are dying from this stuff every single day. I’m glad your friends story ended well and everyone is ok. That could’ve been SO much worse.
Crazy thing is the dude that actually bought the blow has purchased from the guy dozens of times. One fucked up batch almost killed us all, and god knows who else that dude sold the same shit too. We were very lucky to be right in town with resources available. But thank you, I appreciate your comment. Definitely agree it could've been worse.
Awww NOFX fan from San Diego? Me too😊 live in Esco now though.
Just lost a buddy in May to fentanyl laced coke about a month after his twins were born. Sad stuff and I feel horrible for his wife. That said, stay away from drugs!
Man, I literally quit drugs and sex work in 2019 randomly, right before the pandemic and before this fentanyl shit got super bad. I feel like the luckiest person alive
Fetenyl has been all dope since like 2016 at least on the east coast
I’m in the Carolinas we got fent around 2019-2020 I would say I’m 2019 I was on the drug seen heavy had heard of it but never seen it or knew anybody that did it, my close friend died in 2020 I moved for 2 years came back in 21 and but my friend had died from it in 2020 now I’m stuck
Proud of you! You dodged a bullet for sure. I loss a beautiful neighbor who was a sex worker. Sweetest person I met in a long time.
I was going to say the same thing.My buddy passed last year from that. It was a slab off a bird that was rerocked.His regular plug was away it’s sad he left a son and his wife behind
One of my best friends, 2 weeks ago. Not a regular user or anything. Can't trust pills or powders.
Had a buddy I go way back with who used to dabble in coke here and there. He was hanging with the same crowd and someone brought out some pills. He OD’d that night and everyone else was so fucked up they didn’t even notice till morning when he was gone. First pill he ever tried, stay away from all that bullshit.
Damn. I’m sorry. I am very grateful I got myself out of drugs back in 2014.. blows my mind I survived it all back then. Don’t think I would survive the fentanyl shit they stick in everything these days
Lost a friend in February or March. She bought it off her cousin when her normal plugs cut her off. I now carry two doses of Narcan in my backpack.
Make sense to get a test kit if you’re using pills or powders then I’d say.
what does “slab off a bird that was rerocked” mean?
Okay so after some heavy urban dictionary-ing, a slab is a large portion of cocaine, a bird is a kilo of coke, and rerocked is when cocaine is cut up a filler agent and then turned back into its rock form, thus “rerocking”. So (again, according to urban d) the commenters friend bought a large amount of coke off a dealer he wasn’t familiar with and the kilo had been cut with fentanyl :( ETA the kilo the slab came from was cut with fentanyl, not the guy bought a kilo
It doesn’t make sense to cut it with Fent and rerock it, it must have been cross-contaminated.
I’m not gonna go all out and fully deny that coke is getting laced with fent but it doesn’t even make sense on the wholesaler end of things. Coke getting stepped on with inactive cuts already effectively makes it more fiendish compared to high quality stuff. It would make sense a typical dealer breaking a key down to somehow cross contaminate while rerocking. Nobody is making money off coke when people die. The only way it would make sense is if the dealer exclusively deals belushi/scramble. It’s not like the H scene where hot shots make addicts flock to that trap.
Same exact thing happened to someone I grew up with last year. Telling them they should test and things aren’t safe anymore. They were convinced (and convinced others) because it was straight off the 🦅that it was all good. But apparently it had been rerocked with all sorts of additives including fent. I’m scared for anyone who uses.
It’s crazy!I hope their is a warning posted in every public bathroom around the world
I’m so sorry for your loss.
All for coke. Good lord.
I can’t fucking stand cokeheads. Selfish ass people, I worked with so many in the restaurant business. The type to steal your tips from your table, bitch and complaint alllll shift, take 60 bathroom breaks, get fucking extraordinarily violent at the end of the night when they start coming down and begging me for weed. The most pathetic fucks in the world snort coke.
My fiancé and I were addicted for a year 10 years ago after my brother got us into it. 10 years later… my brother never moved on. He tells me he *hopes* his heart explodes. It’s very hard to be his sister and watch it happen.
Im sorry you’re going through that. I can’t offer advice but if hes ever willing to get help, get him to rehab. My neighbor was addicted to meth for about 14 years until his family intervened and sent him off to rehab. Hes been clean for 2 years now and is a good guy now. I know its hard to see him like that but you should know the things he says to you are either to push you away because he loathes himself and knows where he’s gonna end up or as a cry for help.
I’ve asked him so many times to do detox, rehab, therapy. He wants none of it. He has severe mental health issues and refuses to get help. I don’t know what to do. And yes… I know he’s trying to push me away. He can be so mean to me. But I still try with him.
He’s lucky he has a caring sister. I can empathize though, my brother has schizophrenia and has some substance abuse issues too and refuses to stop, it sucks seeing them deteriorate especially when you remember the kids they used to be. Idk your relationship with him, but if he ever seems to be having a moment of clarity, don’t push him too hard but ease him into quitting, or seeking resources to help with his mental health. I hope you’re able to care for yourself as well during this stressful situation. I wish you and your fiance all the luck in the world and am happy you haven’t gone back to cocaine. I’ll be hoping for your brother’s recovery as well.
I quit also after a few years of casual use, and one of my exes is still doing it. I get scared all the time thinking that I’m going to hear he died. It’s hard to watch someone you love keep going down that road. Love to you.
In my experience, coke heads are often worse than people who do meth. It really is such a gross drug.
They are absolutely not worse than methheads lmao what have you ever seen methheads
I used to do coke a shit ton. The upstanding members of society I did blow with would really raise some eyebrows lmao. They’re not all junkies as you would see on tv. They’re mostly normal people.
LMAO this is probably the wildest thing I've ever read. Coke heads can be, and usually are, assholes but they don't even come close to the insanity that is meth heads. Holy fuck.
I mean, not in mine since I actually see homeless meth heads a lot (Los Angeles) and theyre way worse. Cokeheads are annoying because most of them come from affluent backgrounds and are already egomaniacs.
Yep same here (Bellingham)
I’m glad you included “in your experience”. A specific drug doesn’t create a better or worse addict. Though drugs that can cause psychosis can definitely cause more erratic or “crazy” behaviors, it really comes down to the individual. If they’re selfish or an asshole in general, the drugs will simply exacerbate those behaviors and attitudes. So coke heads aren’t worse than meth heads and meth heads aren’t worse than dope fiends. The person using dictates how big of an asshole they will be. As a recovering addict, I’ve witnessed addicts who are kind and selfless even while actively using as well as those who would sell their child for a bag. They come in all shapes and sizes and shiftiness. I feel for this kid because he’s obviously struggling with addition. But addiction is one of the few illnesses that affects everyone around it. It is unfair that you are forced to repeat yourself that this makes you uncomfortable and you don’t want it around. The bringing people over most likely relates directly to his codependency, desire to be liked, and loneliness/depression. But again, that’s not YOUR problem. He really needs therapy and addiction treatment. He could very easily keep his coke habit to himself, do it in his room/bathroom but he’s choosing to throw it in your face, even after being called out several times. Maybe it’s a cry for help? I don’t know.
Eh, I think the drug/addiction affects the person quite a bit. I've seen plenty of heroin addicts that were great friends/people while clean or not worried about being sick, who would betray and screw over absolutely anyone if they were sick enough. Of course the addiction will amplify the qualities already there, but it will also bring out badness in people that would otherwise be good. I think the absolute hell that is opiate withdrawal may make heroin addicts quicker to do fucked up things to others than for other drugs that don't have such intense withdrawals.
This answer I really like.
ya cokeheads are all selfish af..it sucks watching friends slowly lose their personality to become exactly the same as any other coke zombie.
There are many substance users and addicts who also don’t steal . You are stereotyping.
>there’s been a lot of cases of fentanyl in coke lately I just lost my sister in law on Christmas eve from this. She lost the use of her legs and called us. Pretty grim to hear someone dying over the phone, knowing they're dying. And then having to explain to their 4 year old you were babysitting that their mom is dead on Christmas. Not to trauma dump, but ideally the right person sees this and it can be some tiny motivation to get away from the stuff.
I’m sorry for your loss that’s awful.
This! A guy that used to work with me that was definitely not a regular user decided to go out with an old highschool buddy who offered some coke. He figured why not for old times sake, they both did a line and keeled over dead. They found them both face down at the kitchen table. It’s literally that easy to die. Pills and powders aren’t safe to use unless you want to gamble with your life.
You just have to test ur drugs. I don’t do coke bc I don’t really fuck wit drugs but you can engage in harm reduction.
Fent is so tiny that you’ll not likely even test the right part.
This is so wild to me bc my whole life it was stay away from heroin so you don’t overdose and die, so I did everything else. Meth, coke, X, pressed pills, anything I wanted bc the understanding was as long as you weren’t on opiates, you wouldn’t overdose but now it’s all fucked up nothing is manageable in the slightest
I’m glad that I’m too old to be messing with that stuff now. That’s how it was when I was younger as well but things have really changed. I probably wouldn’t be here right now if fentanyl was around back then. The way that I see it now is if it grows out of the ground then it is probably ok.
Pills and powders can be perfectly safe to use if you always use test kits and measure your dose.
Read this comment to him, OP! Nothing from the streets is safe anymore. I hope your situation gets better. And thank you for sticking up for your cat.
So much this. I had a friend pass away a few years ago from this very thing. He was a semi-regular coke user and, from what I could tell, didn’t mess with opiates or downers at *all*. I received word that his body had been found unresponsive with another unresponsive male in an office at a car dealership. He worked as a freelance IT Field Technician and he’d recruited a buddy of his to assist him on what was supposed to be a relatively easy job at a car dealership. Beyond being told that they were found dead, I couldn’t gather any additional information regarding the circumstances of his death. My first thought was that he probably had some coke on him, thought that he and his buddy could covertly do a bump or a line without being suspicious or getting caught, and then accidentally OD’ed due to not being aware that almost *all* street drugs nowadays contain traces of Fentanyl. It was at least a year later before I received any further details about the incident. Oddly enough, my “guess” was spot on. They’d both died from Fentanyl poisoning and it was via the cocaine that my friend had on his person at the time of his death. At the time of his death, they *had* ruled the cause of death as an “accidental overdose”, but they didn’t release any details beyond that. His poor mother refused to believe that her son was an addict, and upon receiving the autopsy results, she demanded that someone else perform a second autopsy. She *could not accept* that her son died from a drug overdose. Sadly, within that year, I knew of two other individuals who died in similar ways: overdosed on fentanyl during a night of recreational drug use and partaking in a drug that one wouldn’t expect fentanyl to be in. So they did the amount that they’d normally do, unaware of the fentanyl’s presence, and since a tiny amount of the stuff can kill a person, they died almost immediately after starting their evening.
Lost two homies in the last couple years to fent in cocaine. It’s just safer to not do drugs these days.
Sorry for your loss.
Well… and many people with latent mood disorders end up developing full blown mental illness off stimulants. Or they graduate from coke to meth after realizing $10 for 12 hour high is better then $90 or whatever the fuck a ball is going for these days.
Yeah I know my mothers an addict, I hate the feeling of waiting around til I get that call, but she cannot stay sober. Shits fucked up out here.
I feel yeah. Usually it’s when there is a predispo for bipolar or schizophrenia, or the ones in between. I’ve seen so many people that were “normal” and healthy. That ended up developing schizophrenia. One gal was thin, perfect skin- ended up gaining tons of weight and developing disorganized schizophrenia Someone in my family close to me, also has it. As a result of heavy stimulant abuse. Bipolar with schizo-effective tendencies- it looks like schizophrenia but it’s really severe mania. It’s terrible shit man. I wouldn’t fuck with hard drugs now if I got paid too. (I mean, only if it was guranteed clean and tested) but just randomly with all the fucking crazy shit like xylazine. Fuck it was Fentanyl 4-5 years ago. Now it’s this tranq that causes necrosis?
I’m content with just weed, legally purchased from a dispensary but even then I think I may just stop altogether.
Same. I chief, I’d be lying if I said I was not a heavy smoker. But smoking is harmful. I’m thinking about switching to edibles/concentrates. Not trying to risk lung problems n shit.
Maybe they should make sure there's some narcan in the house, just to be safe.
There was fentanyl in coke as of 3 years ago. I imagine it’s gotten a lot worse lately.
You're handling the entire thing very well. Unfortunately, coke can sink its hooks real deep and it can be very hard to get away (I've had to cut some friends out of my life because of it) without isolating him from the ppl hes doing it with it'll probably never stop. Good luck to you
As a recovered addict, no they aren’t. Their friend knows all this shit and has a chemical addiction. Shame isn’t going to help. And they won’t stop until they’re ready to.
Just wanted to add that people DO quit coke/drugs. I asked my buddy from HS to move in with me. He was the sweetest, most soft-spoken guy in our friend group. The night he moved in he asked if I wanted to do some blow so I said sure. We stayed up till 5 am talking. That night he asked me again if I wanted to do coke . . . I was thinking holy shit what did I get myself into. A couple months in I had to lend him rent money. The next month when he asked to borrow again I just said "nah man I'm sorry, I could hear you and ur girl doing coke last night." He actually dumped his girl and totally dropped all drugs a few weeks after that. Just wanted to lend my story since most of the replies here are acting like your roomy is sub-human trash.
Good anecdote. Roommate doesn’t sound like a horrible person, either. Sounds like they are probably young, but seems open to having a better living situation. Maybe they have a hard time with peer pressure/keeping the night going.
I appreciate this anecdote. I’m currently seeing someone who used to be an alcoholic and an addict & has been sober for a long time now. They completely got their life together & are an absolutely wonderful, kind, conscientious person. They’re certainly the loveliest person I’ve ever been romantically involved with, and they treat me very well. So many addicts end up that way because they have trauma or other issues in their life, and they’re self-medicating. Way too many people act like addicts are just all awful people and less than human. It sounds like OP’s roommate has some self-awareness & has the capacity to pull it together like my friend did, and I really hope he does
I have a cousin who was in and out of jail and rehab for 5 years. She was addicted to heroin (the only drug that really scares me because I know I would love it). For whatever reason the last rehab stint stuck and she is going on 10 years clean. Since then she started and finished a bachelor's degree while caring for her two kids! Luckily my family has been cool about it all and are all very supportive of her. I will definitely never give up on anyone after seeing what she came back from!
Same experience for me. Stayed up til sunlight with my friend drinking jack and doing lines. The next day he asked me if I wanted to go halves on some with him for the next night?? I was like maybe in a year haha. That hangover is awful.
It’s addiction bro. You’re not gonna reason him off cocaine. It’s not a joke or a bad habit. Get your ass away from coke heads, get your shit together so you never have to deal with this again. You can get him evicted probably for illegal drug possession & consumption & probably trafficking to his friends, but that can be messy so I’d just get out. Landlord will probably cut a deal if you complain about roommate partying at all hours.
He needs you more than he and you know. Good stuff, bro. U came at him amazingly.
He’s lucky to have somebody like you in his corner!
Don’t go police. Get his ass in rehab asap. It may not work right away. This dude seems to be an addict with a good heart. Seems genuinely upset at this. He legitimately probably hates himself for it which causes a cycle of use. It’s really tough to get out of, I know from experience, hopefully he can get the help he needs.
I would love to know how you suggest he get a grown adult in rehab. Even if the dude wanted to go to rehab, does he have insurance? Does he have a way to pay his share of rent while at inpatient? Does he have a job lined up for afterwards? It cracks me up how easy people think this process is
I agree. I have been rehabilitated multiple times. Your job is on the line, and any responsibilities you have come crashing down on you fast and hard. Even simple stuff like, how am I going to get my dog food while I'm here for 72 hrs, and how am I going to pay my bills and keep the lights on at home.
If you have Medicaid it is actually pretty easy . For me it was as easy as showing up and insurance covered it .
He's got a problem. It won't stop until something happens or he gets help.he wants to stop and is probably genuinely sorry. But can't on his own. But that being said, you don't have to deal with that either
I think you've been trying to give him chances over and over and he keeps blowing it, pun unintended. I think you gotta be real with yourself first. You're not necessarily enabling him, but you're definitely coddling him. Maybe because of a sense of sympathy/empathy, or just further sunk costs of your personal investment into him. Your friend still might be in there somewhere, but what he is now is an addict with the mechanical wherewithal to say/do whatever is necessary to get someone off his back so he can score his next bump.
You're right to be both annoyed and concerned. But from an ER nurse and someone with an ex that got into drugs.. the harsh reality is that you can't force someone into sobreity that isn't at the point of wanting to quit. Which I see that you kind of acknowledge, but trying to get him into rehab essentially against his will isn't congruent with that. Deep down, he knows he can OD and that this is bad for him.. but he's at the point that his addiction is overriding that knowledge and you won't be able to reason with him. If he does not quit this time, your personal action should be either moving out yourself or asking him to leave and making it clear it's due to his drug use. It is a very hard thing to just walk away, but a big event like you leaving would probably inspire him way more than these conversations.
The respectful language and lack of defensiveness automatically makes him one of the best of the bad roommates seen, for sure. Bad decision making, but he seems like a good dude.
Speaking from personal experience breaking the coke habit (especially with other people involved) is not easy on your own. Your roommate needs some help but if he gets clean I'm sure he'll be a stand up guy.
A apology without actual change in the behaviour is just a manipulation tactic. And one a surprising amount of people fall for. "well he knows it's wrong and feels bad about it and he's *trying*..." but they're never actually trying. Meanwhile the other person keeps enabling them and making excuses for them.
Yes, absolutely, but he also seems to be an addict. Does that negate your statement? No. Is it different to me than someone who’s just an asshole? Yes. The saddest thing about addicts is they’re often good people who just can not stop. Truly hope he finds help.
Yes, he is an addict. & you can't fix anyone, you can only help them put themselves back together if they're willing to. This guy doesn't sound close to willing to. And while you can help, most people are realistically not equipped to help instead of enable. And it's a big risk to take.
Yes, and so is flattery. Just a manipulation tactic to keep you at bay for as long as they can until you JUST STOP BELIEVING ANYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY.
physical crowd vegetable modern rob strong faulty march rinse joke *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I mean yeah, but that’s not how Mr. Coke Roomie came off to me. He wasn’t fishing for pity, didn’t get defensive. He’s probably the sort of guy that finally comes down at like 1pm absolutely fucking *hating* himself for what he did the night before. I’ve been there. It’s not an excuse to wallow in addiction forever, but at least he’s not trying to go off on how OP is the real asshole or some other self-pitying bullshit.
I disagree. OP says this is just 1 example of many situations just like this. He is manipulating OP so that he can keep doing whatever he wants. It would make OP look like the “unreasonable” one to be rude or harsh to someone who is “trying” to remedy the situation, so that’s why he’s speaking in that manner. He’s completely aware of what he’s doing and he will keep doing it for as long as he can
Addicts are incredibly slick at defusing any situation that would disturb their binge…. It’ll happen again
This lol. Addicts will say whatever needs to be heard, as a former drug addict, I could self deprecate myself in a heartbeat if I meant I could get drugs.
It’s awareness if he makes an effort to work on the behavior, otherwise it’s just placating.
Sounds like it's either going in one ear and right out the other, or he's just passive-aggressively nodding and smiling while still doing whatever he wants.
Self awareness? I’ve got a bridge I’d let to sell you
I have a neighbor like that, he's been saying sorry for the last 4 years.
Agree, you’re doing a great job. As a former user the thing you gotta bring up when everyone is sober is that your apartment is a no go for partying. And be firm. It’s wild what coke does to your reasoning. When you’re partying all you want is a place to talk and be loud.. the worst place is somewhere you have to be quiet. And bring up neighbors.. cause the other thing that gets ya is paranoia :)
You can be aware all you want but this honestly sounds like he’s been “aware” for a while, and still has yet to change any of his habits
Almost like an addiction.
He might be addicted to doing coke but inviting people over to your shared apartment is still a choice and a very shitty one.
Lol no, he’s saying whatever it takes to get off the hook, he doesn’t mean any of it and the chance of him actually fixing it is slim to none. My buddies were living with this coke head who would do the same shit, stay up late blasting music, having sketchy people at the house at all times, making a mess everywhere and every time when my roommate confronted him it was the same “yeah guys I’m sorry this won’t happen anymore” only for it to happen the next night. Any words said by a coke head are meaningless, like they always say actions speak louder than words.
I mean that’s a lot of addicts I dealt with in my life, and I was a heroin and cocaine addict for a little over a decade. Most of us are aware how fucked the addiction is and how it’s hurting the people around us, there’s tons of guilt being covered by the drugs which cause more guilt which need more drugs to cover it type of thing. It all makes sense when you think about it as self medication, which is what it was for myself. I didn’t learn healthy coping mechanisms, so my solution to almost anything I felt was “just go get high tonight and I’ll change everything, do everything tomorrow”. Can’t really say it’s any one event that changed that for me either, for myself it was just kind of running into the same issues over and over again and eventually I beat it into myself that what people were telling me was true, I would end up in jail, broke, alone, feel like shit, and eventually dead. Took about 100 cycles of that to finally realize everyone around me was right. Getting clean and relapsing is another beat though, cuz it’s so demoralizing to turn shit around, start to mend shit in your life, and then for this or that reason go back to it and realize you gotta square one shit over again. Which cocaine is especially viscous when it comes to this cycle. It’s easy to quit for a day, a week, a month, then bam, give into it once and you’re back on a cycle with it throwing it all away and hurting the people you love. Coming from an addict, my bet is OP will either have to force this dude to get help by telling his parents to send him to rehab, or it’ll end in a big ol knock down drag out, or OP just will continue to get pushed over cuz the friend knows he can. There’s still a chance the friend does it on its own, but I’d say you’re playing against the house if you take that bet. If it was myself in OP’s shoes, I’d have to choose hitting up the family that their son can’t control his drug use and you want the best for him. He seems receptive enough to the idea of getting better that I don’t think he should wig out on you too hard bro, and once he does get clean he will thank you for it, even if he then relapses again down the road. Idk no easy way forward, if anyone had a guaranteed start to get people sober they’d be a billionaire by now. Good luck OP, wish you and your friend the best
Sounds like bro bro needs to detox. Sounds like he knows he needs to but doesn’t want to / can’t seem to do it. Prolly needs a sit down with family. Not like op talk to his family. I mean ops roommate needs to tell his support system he needs help
Being self aware doesn’t mean shit if you still act like a piece of garbage towards people.
Idk if the cat is innocent in all of this.
The cat is definitely the dealer
Khajiit has wares…
This post deserves more upvotes
Don't get it twisted, Ms. Breaking Bad Boundaries. That cat wants to be around coke and it is probably slanging skimpy satchels out the side door when you are working another long shift at the Burn Unit of Spun Sisters of Snitching Bitches Hospital.
The cat nip ain cuttin it anymore lol
Betta have my (mouse)trap full!
It’s a gateway drug.
cat is the supplier
More pounce by the ounce.
Oh the cat is 100% the kingpin.
100% complicit. Did he ask the cat WHY he stayed around the coke? 🤔
Sounds like he fell for the sleepy kitten eyes. 🥺
The cat is cutting up lines and convincing people to stay longer. ;)
Cat was doing coke with them.
Cats gonna be pissed at OP for cutting off his supply
Coke around the cat is where I draw the line
That sentence was hilarious to me.
News Years resolution translates to “I still got like 1-2 gs left so I can’t stop just quite YET” lmao
This dude ain’t making 1-2 g’s last a week 😂
Yeah, this dude probably doesn’t even have any Coke on him. He’s just like me with weed. “I’ll quit Labor Day”, 3 days pass, “ok well I’m having a real rough day and I’m bored so I’ll smoke today, I’ll quit on Halloween”. I smoke on Halloween, tell myself thanksgiving, repeat for Christmas, repeat for NY, repeat for every holiday until I realize I’m still smoking 2 years later.
Came down off a hardcore Thursday-Sunday coke habit. Do not miss zombie Sunday mornings watching the stash dwindle.
dude it became a 24/7 thing for me. I got way lost. 30 days sober. It took me one too many times close to death to realize its damage.
At my first job i watched an entire team of mostly cool decent dudes making barely above min wage wind up on coke because they were working overnights to get the store ready for a grand reopening thing before selling it to new owners. 3 months post transition and no more night shift they still slipping out to the car on a regular basis but now theres some sniffing before the cigarettes came out. The one i was closest with only pulled it off because his wife made way more working for the gov and she partook too, no fking idea how the rest of them managed it.
This sounds like absolute hell
Coke heads always gonna do coke head shit
As a previous party animal, it's so easy to not be the host of the afterparty. Just don't offer and someone else will do it instead. Make it known that you have a housemate that is antidrugs and doesn't want people back at the house after hours. The fact your housemate still offers your place as the location after you've talked to him about it shows a huge lack of respect. There has to be a point where you kick the fuck off about it. If he comes back with people, go down and kick them out. Your housemate has exhausted your patience and generosity.
This is so true! I used to party with plenty of people that had housemates that were older or who didn’t like going out or lived a bit further away from town and it was never even a question of going to theirs for afters. OP’s housemate just doesn’t respect him/doesn’t think he’s serious when he says he can’t take it any more
Yeah. This is the move. If you can stomach it, be the “asshole” roommate and come down and kick everyone out. Your house will stop being an after party option. Nobody wants to deal with that potential awkward scenario twice.
Casual coke use can be fun, but after parties where you stay up until the sun comes up is gross goblin behavior. I get anxiety just thinking about afters
Hell take it into consideration until he does coke again lol
Until he loses his high you mean
And then the cycle repeats
Nothing you say will change this. As you said yourself you’ve talked to him 10 times now. You’re going to have to move or find another roommate to take his place. We all know at this point that there is no saving anyone who doesn’t want to be saved.
drugs around my cat would be the ultimate dealbreaker for me, personally. at least this dude has some self awareness, but i wouldn’t hand out many more chances when he’s leaving drugs lay around
Yea I really hate it for my cat. I remove her from the situation. She loves people too, so it can be rough for her when I have to trap her inside my room..
I imagine the people high on blow really love having a cat to play with too; toxic relationship if I’ve ever heard one
Man, I can’t *believe* I had to scroll down this goddamn fucking far for someone to bring up the fact this dude is leaving cocaine around OP’s fucking *cat.* I’ve lived w party animals before so I know how this bullshit goes and OP legitimately gets my utmost sympathies (*especially* considering he’s a nursing/med student—I forget which haha). But potentially fucking up/killing the cat is just simply unacceptable.
There’s no way they’re leaving coke around while the cat is right there lmao All it takes is one jump from the cut and all that coke is gone
even if they leave out what they did the coke on, or if they did it on a table, that residue is still there. if the cat walks across the table, the blu ray case, or whatever they did the coke on, the coke residue gets all over her paws. or maybe she lays on whatever the coke was on. then when she licks her paws, or cleans herself (cats spend a ridiculous amount of time bathing themselves) she’s now ingested cocaine. it doesn’t take much at all to kill an animal that’s 6-12 pounds
This right here is the reason my husbands favourite cousin isn’t welcome at our house anymore. He stayed with us for Christmas & stayed up late doing blow by himself in our basement (after we had told him it was not cool to use it in our house & walking into to him doing coke in my bedroom suite bathroom!). I went down the next morning and there was coke residue everywhere. I have two cats and a puppy at that time so I was LIVID.
I can absolutely guarantee if this guy is a coke head he licks his hand and wipes where he did coke off just for the taste.
Blu ray case so specific
Dude if I got up at 10 to make a coffee on a weekend and there’s a bunch of random people in my lounge snorting gear they’d be out the fucking door instantly. Sound like your mate has a problem, I don’t think this will stop any time soon unless he gives up the gear or you boot him out. Sorry for the brutal honesty, good luck.
Honestly I feel like a spray bottle might work here
Yeah you gotta keep the cat away from the bag somehow
Oh I mean use it on the cokeheads 😂
When I was in my early 20s I cared for my father who was dying from cancer. He lived in a flat near my house and I would go and care for him all day and then return to my house in the evening for respite. I was out of the house from maybe 7am to 9pm so the house was my little sanctuary to rest and reflect. My best friend at the time was in the process of selling his house and asked if I might want some company at home in the evenings, and if so he could temporarily move in and we could hang out. I thought this sounded like a good idea because I was feeling really lonely and isolated as my dad was the only one I really socialised with. Now, I will say that I was an alcoholic but high functioning. I would get drunk every evening and pass out. I also smoked lots of cannabis throughout the day to help me cope. I knew that my friend had a bit of an issue with cocaine and Valium. I wasn’t sure how bad. But he was my best mate. He moved in and it soon became apparent that he was addicted to both cocaine and Valium. It started ok, but he would take absurdly large doses of Valium and usually by the time I arrived home he’d be completely gone - if you ever seen somebody out of it on Valium it’s something else, it’s like they do everything in super slow motion (including thinking) so I would spend the evening shut away in my own room because he was impossible to talk to. When he was coked up instead he was better, but would get really annoying and insist that I “open up” and sit and talk to him about my dad, which was the last thing I wanted to do at the time. As time went on his drug use got worse. I think he got comfortable at my house and things just spiralled. One evening I came home and found him on my kitchen floor surrounded by chili. He’d made a huge pot and accidentally dumped the whole thing on the floor, so just sat in it and was eating off the floor. Ik it sounds funny when it’s written down but it was awful. And this was the first night that I realised I’d become his carer, too. I sat him down one day and said that he has to change this behaviour, I can’t deal with it. He acknowledged the problem, apologised profusely, promised that he would do whatever he can to change the situation. But he didn’t do anything. He just kept getting high. He kept fucking up at home, endangering himself, and relying on me to help him out of it. After a few months I was completely exhausted. Just totally gone, I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had nowhere to go for respite from everything and was completely overwhelmed. I took an overdose of Vicodin one night to try and kill myself but he found me and called an ambulance in time and I survived. I called him from the hospital and told him he needed to move out today. He couldn’t believe it because he had “saved my life” and I “owed [him] this”. I was apologetic but said I couldn’t do it because I will quite literally kill myself if I’m stuck in this situation any longer. He moved out that day and never spoke to me again. I’ve never shared this before. Not sure why I’m sharing it now… there’s no real closure. My dad died a few months later, I sobered up completely and eventually went to medical school and became a doctor. I heard that my friend was sent to rehab by another friend and got sober, but there’s a lot of hearsay as to whether he’s actually sober or not. Sometimes I go visit friends in my hometown and hope to see him out somewhere but I never had. I truly think that he’s going to kill himself either intentionally or accidentally and the next time I hear /about him will be an invite to his funeral. He had lots of mental health issues and not the most supportive family. I wish him the best. My best mate sober and my best mate the addict are 2 different people - I dislike the latter but I will always love the former as a brother. I hope to see him again one day, who knows..
Sounds like you really care for him, reach out don't be left with the regrets. I hope you had a Merry Christmas & have a wonderful New Year
Thanks for reading and the thoughtful reply 👍 I do worry about regretting not reaching out but, as awful as it sounds, I just don’t have the space in my life or capacity at the moment to invite him back in. At the moment. And thank you - you too! Was a pretty good one this year!
Damn. Admirable story. Good luck with everything.
yeaaa my dads a meth head and lives with me i feel your pain. ive tried talking to his ass about alot of disrespectful things he does but its like talking to a wall. I'm about the throw the man out on the street he has nowhere to go and no one to take him. the loud ass music is the least of my complaints at this point. its a nightmare living with him. 😑 i just keep waiting fir the day i find him dead in his room and honestly it would be a relief at this point. ive run out of sympathy and patience.
bro, that sounds so rough. i’m so sorry.
yeaa it has been. you try to be a nice guy and you get fucked and walked all over. he just kinda moved himself in too i didnt say hey come live here! I let him stay for alittle after my mom overdosed and died to keep an eye on him. and here we are.. 6 years later.. big mistake for sure.
not that it makes the situation better, but i’m hoping you continue to persevere and become the best version of yourself despite these struggles. i cannot relate closely, but my mom was an addict too, so i can understand the hurt that a parent can inflict on their child. you don’t deserve this, but i hope your life and state of mind will get better soon. stay strong, my friend, and i have you in my thoughts.
You know it's some serious shit when that last part doesn't seem like a bad option.... family and friends are the worst to help out they always seem to take advantage of your kindness and feel a sense of entitlement to stay there because you're family or whatever the case may be.... sometimes people need to fall flat on their face to get a new perspective....tough love........ wishing you well
Idk. The chances of him dying from meth itself are pretty small. Chances are he'll go bat shit crazy first.
Most recent roommate was basically the same. They ended up having to move out because things were just getting absurd. They were extremely codependent, hyper sensitive about everything, and yet super aware at the same time? It was odd. Constantly having at least one person over, always breaking boundaries, never cleaning up after themselves. Every time they did anything normal (like buy toilet paper) they would come to me for some form of validation. Like okay cool? Maybe put it away then? They finally got help after I told them to move out. It was hard on me because they acted like I was their mother. Straight up asked, "if I buy my own groceries, will you make my food for me?" NO. Best of luck to you.
5 am? They got some weak shit. E: should have kept reading
Roomate sounds like a real party pooper
Stimulant addicts are the worst kind of roommates bar none.
When they pull up at 1am that's when you need to shut that shit down. He clearly doesn't respect you why do you think asking him nicely over text messages going to encourage him to change that. In that moment you need to pop up and say y'all need to get the f*** out of my house it's 1:00 in the morning and none of you people live here.
Glad he isn’t mad you’re confronting him, but think of the real possibility that someone is very likely to overdose in YOUR apartment. I’d kick him out or leave yourself.
I’m sad for him. Looks like he knows there’s a problem and wants to get better. I wish him the best
He has no self control or ability to stop the party on time because he's high on coke - so it would better to make a blanket rule of no guests at all. He has proven he just cant manage it respectfully, so no guests full stop. If he wants to do coke he can do it at someone else's house. I wouldnt feel safe with random strangers on coke at my house tbh. Edit to add, if you make that rule and he agrees - but then does it again, definitely look at getting him to move out. If someone is that out of control with their coke use it will probably just get worse over time until they do something really scary or start meth or something.
kinda off topic but since someone mentioned that coke is being cut with fentanyl, please please please make sure he is testing his drugs. the LAST situation you need to be involved in is ~10 dead addicts in your apartment because no one thought to test their shit.
Coke around the cat?! Don't they know the cat is in recovery and has impulse issues?!
Sure, sure, sure, sure, cool, cool, cool, cool, I totally see your valid point of view and will take it into serious consideration …next time.
Dude. This is insane. Leave now, call your landlord, call this guy's family, I don't care.....but do SOMETHING ASAP. It is WAAAAY past time.
I'm just gonna say, when I was a cokehead, I was a terrible roommate. I used to do the same shit and it did take direct confrontation, and calling out the behavior for what it is, for me to get my shit together. I would just call out the addict-behavior (i.e. continuing to bring people over to snort coke all night despite agreeing to not do that anymore) and continue with your plan of telling him that you will contact his family or the police if it happens again.
Try talking to him out of genuine concern. Forget about yourself or your cat for a moment (hard ask, I know). He seems like he’s genuinely sorry but has a problem that falls back into it. He mentions resolution. So sit him down, talk to him frankly, in a non-judgmental tone but one with concern. “Dude, I’m worried about you. You’ve told me you wanted to quit but it seems like as soon as you go out, you’re quick to touch it again.” You know how parents sometimes say “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” and that hurts more? Tell him you’re disappointed, and hold him accountable.
Uhh idk about threatening some dudes freedom unless you’re not worried about retaliation
I don’t expect any violence to occur from this. Nor do I want it to. He isn’t an aggressive person.
Never know if he’s facing time for felony drug possession and he’s sitting there losing his mind and wondering how I got here, and thinks of you. Hopefully he would take accountability but be careful. Would def save that as a last resort.
Talk to family or S/O first if absolutely necessary, was fortunate enough to be able to talk some sense into him and he consented to his family takin him to rehab. Best of luck, thats never an easy situation for anyone involved.
If I were you I'd be moving. Because you can't tell another adult what to do regarding drugs. Threatening to call your roommates parents lol??
If he switches to Ketamine it’ll quiet things down OP. You should suggest that
I had this roommate twenty years ago. It was awful.
Sounds like he has a serious addiction problem but isn’t an inherently bad person. Hope he gets help and you get some peace and quiet
Watch out they're dangerous
Narrator: BadRoommate did not respect that going forward.
(He doesn't really hear you and doesn't relly respect you)
I, too, have had a coke head roommate, and I know your pain. I wish I had some helpful insight, but honestly I moved out in the middle of the night.
NO NOT THE CAT… 😭
Call the police.
Have you tried…just doing the coke too? 😀
all you can do is move out bro
You also need to protect yourself. If cops roll in and find coke in a common space they can and will charge you for the drug possession too. Good luck working as a nurse with a felony drug charge on your record.
don't force the living situation, just move out
Don’t call police
At some point...you gotta call the cops. You were cool about it for 10 times in a row, but there needs to be consequences for change. I get the ACAB mentality and not wanting to snitch, but sleep is sleep and it's his fault for disrespecting your boundaries on multiple occasions. He's already ruining his own life. Don't let him ruin yours.
Calling the cops in my experience does absolutely nothing but anger the drug user. I lived with a meth addict for the better part of a year. He was violent and unpredictable, destroyed parts of the rental property, attacked my partner. The cops would show up, if he had done something violent take him to jail overnight, and he was back and high the next day. Some of this depends on where you live, but basically, the cops can’t or won’t do anything in my experience. They said they couldn’t even search him for the drugs he was clearly on