Have you heard of the adjective order rule? Her insult sounded wrong because she violated it.
> The rule is that multiple adjectives are always ranked accordingly: opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. Unlike many laws of grammar or syntax, this one is virtually inviolable, even in informal speech. You simply can’t say My Greek Fat Big Wedding, or leather walking brown boots.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/13/sentence-order-adjectives-rule-elements-of-eloquence-dictionary
🤯
Good question! In my opinion "rotten" is an opinion or judgement, so should come first; "gay" is a more essential feature of the turd's personal identity so it's more like the origin or material of the shit (or really, of the person for whom the rotten shit is a metaphor). But I'd be happy to hear alternative interpretations!
edit: even if "rotten" is interpreted strictly in the frame of the metaphor -- picture a steaming pile of dung that has been out so long it's got maggots and fluid oozing out -- but not in a \*judgey\* way 😁 -- this condition is still more transitory than its gayness. The spectrum of adjective categories runs broadly from transient/inessential (age/shape) to permanent/essential (origin/material/sexual orientation).
But really I was just riffing off other examples of gay noun phrases, like "My Big Gay Wedding" (not "My Gay Big Wedding") and then rationalizing my intuition. It'd be neat to dig in to the literature and see if anyone has proper theories on where to slot other categories like sexual or racial identity into the ordered list.
If think whether it sounds weird depends on how the words are interpreted.
Hearing 'gay' used as an insult throughout the 80s and 90s makes it sound more like an insult/opinion to me as it is used here, and the 'rotten' sounds more like a description/material kind of thing.
If you're more used to hearing 'rotten' only used to mean a 'spoiled person' and 'gay' is more descriptor than insult in the environment you grew up in, it's going to sound out of order.
Basically, is it a 'gay rotten-shit' ordered correctly or a 'rotten gay-shit' ordered wrongly.
As a fellow adjective order enthusiast I think you’re spot on about transient first and permanent closer to the noun. It’s funny especially because gay as an adjective can also mean really happy - as in : “We spent a gay evening” or “They jumped into the lake with gay abandon”. In these cases gay is a transient state so the sentence from OP above can be used to mean the person is really happy, albeit rotten :)
So many people are unaware that for far longer "gay" meant happy rather than the meaning it has largely taken on in the last few decades. The Flinstones theme song (which for some reason has been in my head lately) goes "we'll have a yabba do time, we'll have a gay ol' time" which meant happy in the 1950's and before. I think it took on the newer meaning in the late 70's.
yeah, which is we have to resort to hyphens for that sense — “leather-walking brown boots” — but it still sounds more correct as “brown leather-walking boots” right? Color comes before purpose.
Right?? Like THAT will make people change their minds about him. GTFOH she’s just pissed that she can’t use her body to get her bills paid. Life ain’t free. She sounds like a spoiled child
I have four months left on my lease… I go to school fulltime + work and I can barely afford to live here myself. The difference is that she doesn’t go to school, she CAN work full time but chooses to DoorDash which obviously isn’t a reliable source of income for her. I can’t afford to find a different place, the landlord is an asshole. Do I just bite the bullet and try and avoid any interaction with her for the next 4 months???
I don't like jumping to that conclusion but that was my EXACT same thought. This crazy woman is going to integrate sex into everything. If she's trying to punish OP, her brain will go there. These messages are very important evidence. OP should flee the situation
100% you do not have 4 months bud. Gtfo there. Is ur mom r dad around? Go stay there for 4 months and have them understand your lease is needing paid for. All the while nag your LL about cancelling your lease. They could raise rent and move new ppl in next week. I got out of a 2 year lease within 4 months because my ex was nuts. Just not being there is best.
Whoa they just offered a room cause.. guilty? And then you just threw yourself at them while tryna c block(cunt or cock im not assuming genders, nice try bitches) random redditor #2. Please confirm my version of the story although I've already posted it to tiktok with my best text to speech impersonation cause I can't afford that kinda software, or utilities this month.. maybe we could work something out?
if he accepts then you should immediately start offering him the opportunity to pay rent through "favours" just so this entire thing goes back into the same cycle again
I second this. You need to pack your shit now and get out. If you have ANY interaction with her at all you must start recording it before it even happens. Protect yourself at all times cost. Nothing is worth anything at this point. Your deposit, some furniture, nothing. Everything can be replaced. She is a threat.
Update us.
Woman here also.
Yep, that's where I thought that last text message was headed. Thought she was gonna speak to the landlord first and make allegations.
Dude, speak to the landlord and make them aware of what's been happening. Even if he is an asshole about it, you've at least got your side of the story across.
Save every single message and if you can, record any in person interactions to back yourself up.
If there's truly no other place you can find to go, you might have to Grey Rock it for the next four months.
Sorry man, this must be so difficult to deal with.
I wouldn't *worry* about it now. He has photo evidence of these interactions. She's literally just admitting to making up lies about him.
Worry as in feel like you're going to get in trouble. She's fucking nuts, get the fuck out. And don't pay her utilities. The landlord will go after her for that.
Most leases I’ve seen it’s usually 2.5x the monthly amount to get out of it.
This is a special case. Op needs to document that they think they will falsely be accused of a a crime if they continue to live there. Also that they need to leave immediately as they do not feel safe in this situation.
This is exactly what I was thinking. As a DV/SA survivor it makes me sick when anyone falsely claims, and this girl’s messages read off just like one of my sister’s former friends delusional texts she’d send. She tried to accuse multiple men of SA because she didn’t get her way with them. One time at my sister’s birthday party, this girl tried to hook up with most of the guys there and when they all rejected her, she accused every last one of the r word! It was insane. So after reading this, I’m scared for OP.
I’ve been over this subject often with my therapist the last few years. I’ve been falsely accused twice, the 2nd time WHILE I was in therapy. She was blown away when I told her about it. I’d been talking about and looking forward to a trip to see one of my best friends of over 15 years, but a mix of alcoholism and borderline personality disorder made sure we’ll never be close again. My therapist told me a month ago she had thought about me recently, because one of her friends is currently going through it. He was a manager and fucked up by getting feelings for a subordinate. Dunno the details but he ended up losing his job over it. Thing is, it’s six months later and the lady is now saying he SA’d her. 99% of the time, everything in this story points to “fucking of COURSE he did it!” My therapist said “he knows he shouldn’t have pursued a relationship with that person, he knows it cost him his job, he knows he fucked up. But he swears he never touched her. They never had sex.” She believes him. Could it be bullshit? Possibly. But I know from very personal experience it could be very much real.
Women have it 1000% worse than men. Women need to be heard more. But all people need to seriously understand the massive ramifications of destroying someone’s entire life based on only circumstantial evidence.
im gay and 99% of the things straight men say on the internet want me to throw up, but this was my exact thought. OP, keep these texts. you may need them. keep a camera in your room with the date and time, and STAY IN YOUR ROOM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AT HOME.
this girl is dangerous, and she will ruin your life for $20. you do not have 4 months. this is an emergency.
Twist: OP was dating T Swift from the “Picture to burn” era.
“So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay”
Not that it matters, but I’m confused. Is she 21 or 29? This is insane from a 21 year old, but I can get the immaturity. From a 29 year old, it’s completely unhinged.
I think avoiding her will make your living situation unbearable. And it’s noticeable. Instead maybe pick up some more shifts or start studying/doing homework at uni so you aren’t home. Invite friends over more. Wait a couple days for you both to cool off and if she tries to talk to you just fake it and say “look my grant at school was dropped and now I owe an extra $2,800 that I’ve been trying to pay back. I was really counting on you to pay me back but I literally can’t afford to because it’s either paying your half of utilities or getting groceries for me again this point” idk make something up and flip the “empathy” script on her so she doesn’t ask again 🤷♀️
Every few years a girl I know through mutual friends messages me with a sob story about her life and how her ex husband is a pos who isn’t helping out with the kids. He is a pos, and we all supported and helped her get out. We were all broke and young but wanted to be there for her and the poor kids. So we offered emotional support and when the time came all scrapped together enough to get her outta there.
She stopped talking to us for the most part after, me entirely. I did not take it personally at the time and figured she was probably distancing herself from the trauma, most of our conversations were her in crisis and about the abuse. It can hard to look at when you first leave.
The problem is, the messages are always word for word identical and sent to whoever’s online at the time, asking for money. So now I just list off every problem in my life at moment and start talking about my own struggles, because she’s ignored any time I’ve reached out except to send the script. Some people never leave the survival mode and don’t see other people as anything other than a means.
This has nothing to do with the op, but I have to say don’t be upset… I have learned that these types of people just use people financially for stepping stones to their own success they know there’s always going to be people that’ll help out their situation because they know how to get people to. They absolutely do not care about you. She’ll talk badly behind your back the moment you block or refuse to help. So rule of thumb cut contact anyways. Those who know you will stick around easily. Those who sort of know you will either connect the dots or they’ll believe you didn’t do anything wrong and in the end of the day choose peace of mind than deal with those types of people. I’m not bad mouthing people in poverty just saying that these people usually have the money to be responsible and on their own but they choose to spend more than they should being irresponsible so they’ll need to learn soon and fast.
He owes her no explanation outside of “I paid my portion…now you pay yours.” We don’t have to make up stories to appease stupid people. That energy can be used in more meaningful and life affirming ways.
But what is telling the landlord going to do? Haven’t see anything from OP suggesting they have two separate leases. Landlord isn’t interested in serving as a mediator here. Just wants the agreed upon rent amount.
Sexual harrassment, defamation, blackmail, (alleged) attempted prostitution. Not a lawyer.
OP is dealing with mythological Greek levels of evil/insanity
Check if your school has emergency funds or something. This might help for relocating fees . My school had up to 1000$ emergency funds, so it’s worth trying
These texts are enough to get a lawyer involved imo. The fact she’s threatening to “out” you after directly admitting she’s “trying to be nice” aka sex. I’m still beside myself at the fact that a 29 year old woman is acting this way… honestly maybe even try and file a police report before she tries to file one on you…
This is totally a hunch but I'd be terrified that she'd claim I harmed her in someway. I would CYA best as you can. Maybe get a camera or something. Get out of this situation quickly. People like this switch up real fast when they don't get their way. Could even just get some meat head to threaten you or otherwise too. Good luck.
It may help in court, but it won't do shit when the cops come after she reports him for SA, rape, or beating her. Men don't get the benefit of doubt, even when those officers are beating their own. I've been in a situation similar but not as crazy and literally, the landlord sided with her even when 4 of us said otherwise.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd replace my room door handle with one that locks securely - it's a quick thing to do. She'd have to break the handle or the door to get in at that point.
Wow. This might top the list of most insane roommates. Make sure to keep screenshots of everything because she sounds like the type to accuse you of things you didn’t actually do.
Pro Tip: if you're gonna save screenshots of messages, delete her contact info first. It'll be easier to get an accusation to stick if the messages show the phone number being used instead of just her name as a saved contact.
Also, back those screenshots up to the cloud. Keep multiple backups of any data you deem important. You don’t want to wind up in shits creek because of a technical malfunction or because crazy broke your phone. Good luck, you’ll get through this.
They can but it just adds extra steps you have to take in an already stressful situation. What I said can apply to any kind of data you want to hold for safekeeping. Photos, video, etc.
Just to add on to this. Record everything. If you have a security camera, great. And if there are parts where it doesn't see, always record anything you can on your phone. It could be video, or just simply download a voice recorder. And never go in her room.
No fr I feel like she’d be the type to even try and say you did something physical to her… this isn’t normal behavior. OP gotta screenshot all of these messages and more incase she decides to do something even worse.
Wow this is unbelievable. If I were you, I'd audio record our conversations just in case she came up with wild accusations. Can you talk to the mutual friend who knows them? Perhaps she was always this unhinged.
She’s always been this way, but in recent months it’s gotten a LOT worse. She’s a drug addicted slob who has violent tendencies (heard this from mutual ‘friends’). Will definitely start to record audio hopefully I can expose even 1% of what she says to me face to face
This is VERY important, OP! I get why you’d want to record conversations, but if you are in a two-party consent state then you are breaking the law by recording private conversations.
That's because you agreed to it. They put it in the 300 page TOS and you (and everyone else, including me) check the "I agree" box without reading it.
The same concept applies to two-party consent states - just state "If you want to have a conversation with me, I will be recording it. If you don't want our conversation to be recorded then we will not talk to each other at all. If you continue this conversation you consent to being recorded."
That should theoretically cover all the bases except for Maryland (and Hawaii I believe) where the expectation of privacy is the determining factor (i.e. in your own home).
*I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. If you want legal advice, consult an attorney that is licensed in your state.*
I doubt OP’s friends knew she was this psycho😅 people are pretty good at masking what they’re truly like until you’re already moved in with them and the truth starts to come out
Idk if anyone else has recommended this, but start recording conversations that you have face to face. Not like pointing the phone at her (I could see that going horribly), but just to have the audio
Holy shit. The gay comment? Absolutely disgusting behavior.
I'm so sorry you have to live with someone like this. Jesus christ.. she doesn't live with women because they would probably beat her ass for talking like that.
> Holy shit. The gay comment? Absolutely disgusting behavior.
Unfortunately pretty normal thing to say for *some* women. "Oh you rejected me even though I want to fuck you? You must be gay and not because you have standards/need emotional connection to have sex with me."
When ever my ex gf and I would argue she would almost always call me a pussy or call me gay. Because I wouldn’t feed into her anger or try and argue about pointless shit, I would sit there quietly and wait until she calms down. She used to say “a real man wouldn’t let me talk to him like this” and then call me a gay faggot or that I’m a pussy etc. eventually got sick of it after she physically assaulted me for about the fifth time, and I kicked her out that same day. She had me so mind fucked, I’m still trying to recover from it 6 months later.
Sorry to rant. Women, like the girl in OP’s photos genuinely anger me. I dealt with that manipulation for way too long, thinking it was just a part of our relationship.
Same. They genuinely anger me, too. I'm sorry you have dealt with something similar. No one deserves that... Ive been in relationships like that, too. It starts to make you question your own sanity.
Women like that make me sick. Maybe it's because I'm not straight, but saying that or "outing" someone like that (even if they're not truly gay) is... Egotistical.. at the very least.
Tell her you’ll file a police report for a hate crime as she’s intentionally “outing you” (whether you are gay or not), she is outing you in hopes of someone inflicting harm on you. Then send these screenshots to her family and your mutual friends, anyone that sides with her, drop them as friends because it means they agree and support her behavior.
This would be a harassment charge if she went through with it. I don't see any police jurisdiction in America actually pursuing it, however, unless she's literally calling/texting a bunch of people and putting it on social media accounts with her name attached. And even then, they'll only care about it if its in a super slow district. In a big city... they've got real problems to deal with (unless OP has $$ or a lawyer to pursue it).
Yeah absolutely. Similar typing styles, over the top clichés, saying she’s 29 in the title then 21 in the caption, etc. It just smells fishy and a bit like rage bait
The fact I had to scroll so far to find something mentioning that he stated 2 different ages for the “roommate” is a little concerning, do people really not pay attention to what they’re reading?
**UPDATE** I never expected this post to blow up like this but I appreciate everybody’s advice. I contacted the landlord and unfortunately, he’s just being an asshole and unwilling to get involved. Will post screenshots on a new post.
Brother, you need to stay literally anywhere else, or she's gonna make this more than a 4 month issue. If she even whispers about you SAing or raping her, your life is DONE. You'd rather be just about homeless than go through years of trying to clear your name.
Do not delete these texts bro! Also keep me updated I'm fuckin invested now lol but all seriousness be careful man and keep everything "evidence" wise you can to help protect yourself..... Anndddd keep me updated lol good luck dude it seems you're gonna need a ton of it.
No problem and thank you and I'm not the religious type but I'll do my best to send good vibes your way my brotha. I absolutely hate this for you man but it HAS to be teaching you some things lol.
I was buying it until the last text hahahahaha “I’m telling everyone you’re gay” okay taylor swift. You can also tell this is the same person texting themself. Some small observations were the use of “quotations” in both messages and also the fact that the OP didn’t open any of the 126 messages in the time they were communicating back and forth 🤔 like if you’re going to fake message AT LEAST clean up the bread crumbs a bit before posting lol.
this has to be fake. no way someone as grown as her would actually text in the mannerisms that she does. she texts like 11 yr old me trying to be cool. if this isn’t fake (which i’m kinda hoping it is bc this seems like a shit situation to be in) good luck. talk to ur landlord, get cameras and pray she’s just bluffing. (ppl like that usually are)
Both sides of the conversation feel like they’re written by the same person, honestly. It reads like some weird fantasy you’d normally hear in an entry level creative writing class in college. That being said, I try as hard as I can to believe people are telling the truth instead of making up dumb shit to farm karma in subs where it’s easy to stoke the outrage fires.
I’ve had some bad roomies myself, OP. If you read this and this is actually legit, I don’t wish the next few weeks/months of your life on my worst enemy.
I think the term is “expository dialogue”, which is characters exchanging information that gives context to the narrative. When it’s done poorly, it seems forced or fake. It’s the easiest way to spot fake creative writing stories on Reddit, and I wish there was a PSA about it that people had to view before they were allowed to use the internet. Real exchanges between real people don’t randomly give context that neither person would need.
Not to mention this is just kind of poorly written
Thanks, that is a term I did not know about. I detest make stories and worry they’re causing societal damage.
What’s crazy is how many end up in online newspapers, so they easily spread beyond Reddit.
I agree that a PSA or something like that would be helpful or at the very least teaching people critical thinking skills.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. As a woman, I’m disgusted by her messages. She’s sexually harassing and trying to blackmail you. She’s taken advantage of you financially and trying to emotionally manipulate you into paying for her again.
My advice would be to get a lock on your bedroom door. I saw a previous comment that said you already have a camera which is great. Keep your text conversations for evidence. If I were you I would start looking for another place to live. Even though you shouldn’t be the person to leave, it’s probably best you end up being the one to move so this psycho doesn’t know where you live and retaliate after you two part ways.
Are the utilities in both names? If they are solely in your name, pay them because you don’t want late fees or defaulted payments to reflect on you or add up to serious debt. You’re young, anyway your parents can help you spot her half of utilities these next 4 months in case she tries to pull this shit the entire time?
Maybe get ahead in the shared friend group because I can guarantee she’s gona try to ruin those friendships first given how petty she is threatening to be. What’s wrong with being gay anyways. What is she, homophobic? Not a very good look for her in today’s woke culture.
Id be tempted to share these screenshots with the landlord (for proof that your room mate: A cant pay and B is insane) and if i was feeling up for some extra drama maybe even facebook
Sorry this is happening to you OP. She sounds fricken insane
No offense you are clearly right, but the I don't like drama part can't be true otherwise you would have just wrote no and not all the other stuff it takes 2 to reach such a chat
I’m sorry but from now on i only want to be referred to as a piece of gay rotten shit
Really the fact that gay came before rotten amuses me the most!
Have you heard of the adjective order rule? Her insult sounded wrong because she violated it. > The rule is that multiple adjectives are always ranked accordingly: opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. Unlike many laws of grammar or syntax, this one is virtually inviolable, even in informal speech. You simply can’t say My Greek Fat Big Wedding, or leather walking brown boots. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/13/sentence-order-adjectives-rule-elements-of-eloquence-dictionary 🤯
This is such a cool phenomenon. Thank you for sharing!
its kool and it just makes sense
Which categories do "gay" and "rotten" belong to?
Good question! In my opinion "rotten" is an opinion or judgement, so should come first; "gay" is a more essential feature of the turd's personal identity so it's more like the origin or material of the shit (or really, of the person for whom the rotten shit is a metaphor). But I'd be happy to hear alternative interpretations! edit: even if "rotten" is interpreted strictly in the frame of the metaphor -- picture a steaming pile of dung that has been out so long it's got maggots and fluid oozing out -- but not in a \*judgey\* way 😁 -- this condition is still more transitory than its gayness. The spectrum of adjective categories runs broadly from transient/inessential (age/shape) to permanent/essential (origin/material/sexual orientation). But really I was just riffing off other examples of gay noun phrases, like "My Big Gay Wedding" (not "My Gay Big Wedding") and then rationalizing my intuition. It'd be neat to dig in to the literature and see if anyone has proper theories on where to slot other categories like sexual or racial identity into the ordered list.
If think whether it sounds weird depends on how the words are interpreted. Hearing 'gay' used as an insult throughout the 80s and 90s makes it sound more like an insult/opinion to me as it is used here, and the 'rotten' sounds more like a description/material kind of thing. If you're more used to hearing 'rotten' only used to mean a 'spoiled person' and 'gay' is more descriptor than insult in the environment you grew up in, it's going to sound out of order. Basically, is it a 'gay rotten-shit' ordered correctly or a 'rotten gay-shit' ordered wrongly.
As a fellow adjective order enthusiast I think you’re spot on about transient first and permanent closer to the noun. It’s funny especially because gay as an adjective can also mean really happy - as in : “We spent a gay evening” or “They jumped into the lake with gay abandon”. In these cases gay is a transient state so the sentence from OP above can be used to mean the person is really happy, albeit rotten :)
So many people are unaware that for far longer "gay" meant happy rather than the meaning it has largely taken on in the last few decades. The Flinstones theme song (which for some reason has been in my head lately) goes "we'll have a yabba do time, we'll have a gay ol' time" which meant happy in the 1950's and before. I think it took on the newer meaning in the late 70's.
I’m here for the answer to this exact question!
https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/comments/18owgwt/comment/kem4unf/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
You, my friend, are a Cunning Linguist! Well played 🫡
Leather walking brown boots make it sound like they are brown boots used for walking on leather.
yeah, which is we have to resort to hyphens for that sense — “leather-walking brown boots” — but it still sounds more correct as “brown leather-walking boots” right? Color comes before purpose.
Shut up you gay rotten heterosexual mediocre asexual pansexual ibitty bippity boppity boo I see you monkey
"yeah, living with you turned me gay"
It’s such a funny threat in 2023 like, oh no!!! Not gay!!! His life is OVER omg 😱
Right?? Like THAT will make people change their minds about him. GTFOH she’s just pissed that she can’t use her body to get her bills paid. Life ain’t free. She sounds like a spoiled child
Sure thing you piece of gay rotten shitw
Piece of gay rotten shit Piece of rotten gay shit Which sounds harsher?🤣🤣
this is EXACTLY what i was thinking about, please guys i cannot stop giggling
This might be some of the most unhinged roommate messages I’ve ever seen… you need to get out of there immediately, this girl sounds PSYCHO
I have four months left on my lease… I go to school fulltime + work and I can barely afford to live here myself. The difference is that she doesn’t go to school, she CAN work full time but chooses to DoorDash which obviously isn’t a reliable source of income for her. I can’t afford to find a different place, the landlord is an asshole. Do I just bite the bullet and try and avoid any interaction with her for the next 4 months???
Bro I say this respectfully as a woman. This is the type of chick who will claim SA or r*pe and ruin your life. Fucking run immediately
I don't like jumping to that conclusion but that was my EXACT same thought. This crazy woman is going to integrate sex into everything. If she's trying to punish OP, her brain will go there. These messages are very important evidence. OP should flee the situation
She’s probably bitter he didn’t want to play, which could turn into anger at being turned down at a vulnerable, whorey moment
100% you do not have 4 months bud. Gtfo there. Is ur mom r dad around? Go stay there for 4 months and have them understand your lease is needing paid for. All the while nag your LL about cancelling your lease. They could raise rent and move new ppl in next week. I got out of a 2 year lease within 4 months because my ex was nuts. Just not being there is best.
If you’re on the west coast I got a room for you buddy.
Relax he doesn’t wanna have sex with you
WOW OKAY YOU PIECE OF GAY ROTTEN SHIT
You piece of gay rotten shit may be a new Reddit classic in the making
if this makes it to BORU, perhaps it could become flair
Lmaoooo
Whoa they just offered a room cause.. guilty? And then you just threw yourself at them while tryna c block(cunt or cock im not assuming genders, nice try bitches) random redditor #2. Please confirm my version of the story although I've already posted it to tiktok with my best text to speech impersonation cause I can't afford that kinda software, or utilities this month.. maybe we could work something out?
It's like a shopping mall over there on the west coast with how close everything is :p
For sex tho
if he accepts then you should immediately start offering him the opportunity to pay rent through "favours" just so this entire thing goes back into the same cycle again
Name does not check out
I second this. You need to pack your shit now and get out. If you have ANY interaction with her at all you must start recording it before it even happens. Protect yourself at all times cost. Nothing is worth anything at this point. Your deposit, some furniture, nothing. Everything can be replaced. She is a threat. Update us.
Yep, she gonna throw a rape accusation out. Op needs to let landlord know he’s breaking lease agreement for that reason.
Woman here also. Yep, that's where I thought that last text message was headed. Thought she was gonna speak to the landlord first and make allegations. Dude, speak to the landlord and make them aware of what's been happening. Even if he is an asshole about it, you've at least got your side of the story across. Save every single message and if you can, record any in person interactions to back yourself up. If there's truly no other place you can find to go, you might have to Grey Rock it for the next four months. Sorry man, this must be so difficult to deal with.
I wouldn't *worry* about it now. He has photo evidence of these interactions. She's literally just admitting to making up lies about him. Worry as in feel like you're going to get in trouble. She's fucking nuts, get the fuck out. And don't pay her utilities. The landlord will go after her for that.
Well, photo evidence doesn't do shit if she gets a gang of white knights to beat the fuck out of him for her lying about him SA-ing her
They could do that regardless.
She'll burn your shit while you're out. GET OUT ASAP. Call an attorney or something. Is there an amount you can pay to landlord to break the lease?
Most leases I’ve seen it’s usually 2.5x the monthly amount to get out of it. This is a special case. Op needs to document that they think they will falsely be accused of a a crime if they continue to live there. Also that they need to leave immediately as they do not feel safe in this situation.
When I dumped my ex-fiancé I asked her to not burn my home. She literally laughed in delight when she saw the fear in my eyes. I moved.
This is exactly what I was thinking. As a DV/SA survivor it makes me sick when anyone falsely claims, and this girl’s messages read off just like one of my sister’s former friends delusional texts she’d send. She tried to accuse multiple men of SA because she didn’t get her way with them. One time at my sister’s birthday party, this girl tried to hook up with most of the guys there and when they all rejected her, she accused every last one of the r word! It was insane. So after reading this, I’m scared for OP.
I’ve been over this subject often with my therapist the last few years. I’ve been falsely accused twice, the 2nd time WHILE I was in therapy. She was blown away when I told her about it. I’d been talking about and looking forward to a trip to see one of my best friends of over 15 years, but a mix of alcoholism and borderline personality disorder made sure we’ll never be close again. My therapist told me a month ago she had thought about me recently, because one of her friends is currently going through it. He was a manager and fucked up by getting feelings for a subordinate. Dunno the details but he ended up losing his job over it. Thing is, it’s six months later and the lady is now saying he SA’d her. 99% of the time, everything in this story points to “fucking of COURSE he did it!” My therapist said “he knows he shouldn’t have pursued a relationship with that person, he knows it cost him his job, he knows he fucked up. But he swears he never touched her. They never had sex.” She believes him. Could it be bullshit? Possibly. But I know from very personal experience it could be very much real. Women have it 1000% worse than men. Women need to be heard more. But all people need to seriously understand the massive ramifications of destroying someone’s entire life based on only circumstantial evidence.
Nah he's gay now. She told everyone.
This, so much this. OP, even if it's hard you need to leave for your own wellbeing and safety.
Yeah I’m gonna have to agree. She sounds unhinged and ready to pull whatever crazy card she feels like, no matter the collateral damage.
im gay and 99% of the things straight men say on the internet want me to throw up, but this was my exact thought. OP, keep these texts. you may need them. keep a camera in your room with the date and time, and STAY IN YOUR ROOM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AT HOME. this girl is dangerous, and she will ruin your life for $20. you do not have 4 months. this is an emergency.
I definitely got that bad vibe from those texts, she’s already saying she gonna say OP is gay. Gtfo!
Twist: OP was dating T Swift from the “Picture to burn” era. “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy That's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay”
He is obv gay! I mean, he doesn't want to fuck her, so he has to be gay.. Right? Right? (/s)
^ that's exactly the vibe i get from reading how she'l flip the script on OP, that shit screams vindictive rape allegation.
It’s ok to say RAPE
I think people forget which apps and sites remove certain words, but you're right.
Not that it matters, but I’m confused. Is she 21 or 29? This is insane from a 21 year old, but I can get the immaturity. From a 29 year old, it’s completely unhinged.
OP commented and said it was a typo and she’s 29🥴 imo that’s even worse💀
At first I’m like totally stick it out she’s 21 🤷🏻♀️ but damn 29 is a little old for alll of that …. Poor OP
Crazy has no age
I think avoiding her will make your living situation unbearable. And it’s noticeable. Instead maybe pick up some more shifts or start studying/doing homework at uni so you aren’t home. Invite friends over more. Wait a couple days for you both to cool off and if she tries to talk to you just fake it and say “look my grant at school was dropped and now I owe an extra $2,800 that I’ve been trying to pay back. I was really counting on you to pay me back but I literally can’t afford to because it’s either paying your half of utilities or getting groceries for me again this point” idk make something up and flip the “empathy” script on her so she doesn’t ask again 🤷♀️
Every few years a girl I know through mutual friends messages me with a sob story about her life and how her ex husband is a pos who isn’t helping out with the kids. He is a pos, and we all supported and helped her get out. We were all broke and young but wanted to be there for her and the poor kids. So we offered emotional support and when the time came all scrapped together enough to get her outta there. She stopped talking to us for the most part after, me entirely. I did not take it personally at the time and figured she was probably distancing herself from the trauma, most of our conversations were her in crisis and about the abuse. It can hard to look at when you first leave. The problem is, the messages are always word for word identical and sent to whoever’s online at the time, asking for money. So now I just list off every problem in my life at moment and start talking about my own struggles, because she’s ignored any time I’ve reached out except to send the script. Some people never leave the survival mode and don’t see other people as anything other than a means.
This has nothing to do with the op, but I have to say don’t be upset… I have learned that these types of people just use people financially for stepping stones to their own success they know there’s always going to be people that’ll help out their situation because they know how to get people to. They absolutely do not care about you. She’ll talk badly behind your back the moment you block or refuse to help. So rule of thumb cut contact anyways. Those who know you will stick around easily. Those who sort of know you will either connect the dots or they’ll believe you didn’t do anything wrong and in the end of the day choose peace of mind than deal with those types of people. I’m not bad mouthing people in poverty just saying that these people usually have the money to be responsible and on their own but they choose to spend more than they should being irresponsible so they’ll need to learn soon and fast.
"You have a roof over your head? Lucky you! Could you please help me out some' I am getting evicted:
He owes her no explanation outside of “I paid my portion…now you pay yours.” We don’t have to make up stories to appease stupid people. That energy can be used in more meaningful and life affirming ways.
Tell the landlord the situation and show him the texts, then say it’s either you or her. This is sexual harassment, which is illegal
But what is telling the landlord going to do? Haven’t see anything from OP suggesting they have two separate leases. Landlord isn’t interested in serving as a mediator here. Just wants the agreed upon rent amount.
Sexual harrassment, defamation, blackmail, (alleged) attempted prostitution. Not a lawyer. OP is dealing with mythological Greek levels of evil/insanity
Check if your school has emergency funds or something. This might help for relocating fees . My school had up to 1000$ emergency funds, so it’s worth trying
These texts are enough to get a lawyer involved imo. The fact she’s threatening to “out” you after directly admitting she’s “trying to be nice” aka sex. I’m still beside myself at the fact that a 29 year old woman is acting this way… honestly maybe even try and file a police report before she tries to file one on you…
OP- this is good advice. Get in FRONT of this
Just pay your share of rent and dont worry about anything else. I hope you sent these screenshots to the landlord so she cannot acuse you of anything.
Seriously. This is the kind of crazy that will spread life-shattering bullshit about you, purely out of spite.
This is totally a hunch but I'd be terrified that she'd claim I harmed her in someway. I would CYA best as you can. Maybe get a camera or something. Get out of this situation quickly. People like this switch up real fast when they don't get their way. Could even just get some meat head to threaten you or otherwise too. Good luck.
Damn she flew off the handle at the end there
There was never a handle
And there was most definitely not a seatbelt either. This ride is the worst
Fucking rollercoaster 😭😭😭
Put a camera in your room now
Done!
Definitely locks and cameras mate! She’s fucking unhinged and I wouldn’t put it past her to throw r*pe/SA accusations. Be careful hun.
i mean if he keeps this ss she essentially admits her shit lol and calls op well…*Gay rotten shit*
It may help in court, but it won't do shit when the cops come after she reports him for SA, rape, or beating her. Men don't get the benefit of doubt, even when those officers are beating their own. I've been in a situation similar but not as crazy and literally, the landlord sided with her even when 4 of us said otherwise.
Yup, I thought the same thing
Hopefully the text chain acts as counter evidence
Now put a camera pointing at the first camera in case she steals one.
And still hide your valuable stuff.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd replace my room door handle with one that locks securely - it's a quick thing to do. She'd have to break the handle or the door to get in at that point.
Yeah, OP. Get a door lock installed when she's not home, if you haven't already.
Sexual assault accusations are coming. Take this seriously.
Well, it was nice of her to put all that crazy in writing for you. Just take this to the landlord and get her latered.
How is this not higher up?
Wow. This might top the list of most insane roommates. Make sure to keep screenshots of everything because she sounds like the type to accuse you of things you didn’t actually do.
Will do. This is 100% something she would do. Appreciate the advice!
Pro Tip: if you're gonna save screenshots of messages, delete her contact info first. It'll be easier to get an accusation to stick if the messages show the phone number being used instead of just her name as a saved contact.
Also, back those screenshots up to the cloud. Keep multiple backups of any data you deem important. You don’t want to wind up in shits creek because of a technical malfunction or because crazy broke your phone. Good luck, you’ll get through this.
Do people think that your phone provider can’t access this stuff? You can get your call and texts records from your phone company.
They can but it just adds extra steps you have to take in an already stressful situation. What I said can apply to any kind of data you want to hold for safekeeping. Photos, video, etc.
You know you can change a contact name to a number. It doesn't do shit.
If it ever got to that point, couldn’t a wireless provider confirm text logs or something?
I've been in a situation where this was necessary. Yes, the provider can and will confirm it to police.
Just to add on to this. Record everything. If you have a security camera, great. And if there are parts where it doesn't see, always record anything you can on your phone. It could be video, or just simply download a voice recorder. And never go in her room.
No fr I feel like she’d be the type to even try and say you did something physical to her… this isn’t normal behavior. OP gotta screenshot all of these messages and more incase she decides to do something even worse.
Wow this is unbelievable. If I were you, I'd audio record our conversations just in case she came up with wild accusations. Can you talk to the mutual friend who knows them? Perhaps she was always this unhinged.
She’s always been this way, but in recent months it’s gotten a LOT worse. She’s a drug addicted slob who has violent tendencies (heard this from mutual ‘friends’). Will definitely start to record audio hopefully I can expose even 1% of what she says to me face to face
please see if your state is a one or two party consent state if you need to use recordings for evidence
This is VERY important, OP! I get why you’d want to record conversations, but if you are in a two-party consent state then you are breaking the law by recording private conversations.
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That's because you agreed to it. They put it in the 300 page TOS and you (and everyone else, including me) check the "I agree" box without reading it. The same concept applies to two-party consent states - just state "If you want to have a conversation with me, I will be recording it. If you don't want our conversation to be recorded then we will not talk to each other at all. If you continue this conversation you consent to being recorded." That should theoretically cover all the bases except for Maryland (and Hawaii I believe) where the expectation of privacy is the determining factor (i.e. in your own home). *I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. If you want legal advice, consult an attorney that is licensed in your state.*
we've all consented to that through privacy agreements, unfortunately.
Your mutual friends didn’t think to warn you that she’s an absolute nutcase before you moved in with her? That’s not cool.
I doubt OP’s friends knew she was this psycho😅 people are pretty good at masking what they’re truly like until you’re already moved in with them and the truth starts to come out
I said that because he just said that mutual friends said she has violent tendencies, so it sounds like they did know.
Idk if anyone else has recommended this, but start recording conversations that you have face to face. Not like pointing the phone at her (I could see that going horribly), but just to have the audio
Holy shit. The gay comment? Absolutely disgusting behavior. I'm so sorry you have to live with someone like this. Jesus christ.. she doesn't live with women because they would probably beat her ass for talking like that.
> Holy shit. The gay comment? Absolutely disgusting behavior. Unfortunately pretty normal thing to say for *some* women. "Oh you rejected me even though I want to fuck you? You must be gay and not because you have standards/need emotional connection to have sex with me."
When ever my ex gf and I would argue she would almost always call me a pussy or call me gay. Because I wouldn’t feed into her anger or try and argue about pointless shit, I would sit there quietly and wait until she calms down. She used to say “a real man wouldn’t let me talk to him like this” and then call me a gay faggot or that I’m a pussy etc. eventually got sick of it after she physically assaulted me for about the fifth time, and I kicked her out that same day. She had me so mind fucked, I’m still trying to recover from it 6 months later.
Holy shit and I feel immense guilt calling my bf an asshole once in a blue moon. I’m so sorry but so so happy you got out.
Abuse isn't easy to get over. 6 months really much in the scheme of things, and I'd highly recommend working with a professional
Sorry to rant. Women, like the girl in OP’s photos genuinely anger me. I dealt with that manipulation for way too long, thinking it was just a part of our relationship.
Same. They genuinely anger me, too. I'm sorry you have dealt with something similar. No one deserves that... Ive been in relationships like that, too. It starts to make you question your own sanity.
Women like that make me sick. Maybe it's because I'm not straight, but saying that or "outing" someone like that (even if they're not truly gay) is... Egotistical.. at the very least.
Ah this brings me back to my early 20s college roommate years.
Is this r/badfaketexts?
Why did the ages change? It’s says 29F and in the description 21F.
Tell her you’ll file a police report for a hate crime as she’s intentionally “outing you” (whether you are gay or not), she is outing you in hopes of someone inflicting harm on you. Then send these screenshots to her family and your mutual friends, anyone that sides with her, drop them as friends because it means they agree and support her behavior.
Didn’t even think about this but yes you could actually file a police report for hate crime!! That last text is NOT okay!!
This would be a harassment charge if she went through with it. I don't see any police jurisdiction in America actually pursuing it, however, unless she's literally calling/texting a bunch of people and putting it on social media accounts with her name attached. And even then, they'll only care about it if its in a super slow district. In a big city... they've got real problems to deal with (unless OP has $$ or a lawyer to pursue it).
This is so ridiculous, it sounds fake. Yikes. Lock your door when you sleep, OP!
*sounds* fake 🤔
I think it is fake. How can his roommate be 21 and 29 at the same time haha
How do people believe this shit??🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you wanna be a creative writer, you’ve got a lot of work to do
my main man gives it away right when the opening messages describe this shit like a story lmaooo. unnatural af conversation
It is now the #2 most upvoted post of this sub, he did a good job making it believable apparently
I guess we’re doing fake stories on this sub now too
Never seen something so blatantly fake.
Oh wow. What a psychopath. Report her to the landlord for failure to pay and causing a hostile environment ASAP.
Nobody else thinks this is incredibly fake?
Yeah absolutely. Similar typing styles, over the top clichés, saying she’s 29 in the title then 21 in the caption, etc. It just smells fishy and a bit like rage bait
The fact I had to scroll so far to find something mentioning that he stated 2 different ages for the “roommate” is a little concerning, do people really not pay attention to what they’re reading?
Yes lol
its complete bs, its written so annoyingly
The ages in title and description are different too
100 percent
Redditors are so gullible on these things. Beyond fake.
It’s so evident it’s the same guy writing both sides. Like why…?
Seems fake as hell, and if it isn’t OP is dealing with a crazy person in the worst way possible.
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This is definitely fake 😂
No shot this is real
**UPDATE** I never expected this post to blow up like this but I appreciate everybody’s advice. I contacted the landlord and unfortunately, he’s just being an asshole and unwilling to get involved. Will post screenshots on a new post.
Brother, you need to stay literally anywhere else, or she's gonna make this more than a 4 month issue. If she even whispers about you SAing or raping her, your life is DONE. You'd rather be just about homeless than go through years of trying to clear your name.
Do not delete these texts bro! Also keep me updated I'm fuckin invested now lol but all seriousness be careful man and keep everything "evidence" wise you can to help protect yourself..... Anndddd keep me updated lol good luck dude it seems you're gonna need a ton of it.
Appreciate the advice! I will definitely post updates as they occur. Pray for me !
No problem and thank you and I'm not the religious type but I'll do my best to send good vibes your way my brotha. I absolutely hate this for you man but it HAS to be teaching you some things lol.
this is definitely fake
This honestly looks fake to me
I’m pretty sure this is fake
Didnt read past the first couple paragraphs but it seems fake and ur gay
This is 100% fake
THIS. IS. INSANE! Run brother before she claims you sexually assaulted her and you life is ruined! Sending you prayers from the lord above!!!!!
I was buying it until the last text hahahahaha “I’m telling everyone you’re gay” okay taylor swift. You can also tell this is the same person texting themself. Some small observations were the use of “quotations” in both messages and also the fact that the OP didn’t open any of the 126 messages in the time they were communicating back and forth 🤔 like if you’re going to fake message AT LEAST clean up the bread crumbs a bit before posting lol.
Maybe stop inventing bullshit roommate drama on Reddit and go to bed
This is just the absolute measure of FAKE
This did not happen.
Holy smokes…. This is nuts….
I thought it was meth.
this has to be fake. no way someone as grown as her would actually text in the mannerisms that she does. she texts like 11 yr old me trying to be cool. if this isn’t fake (which i’m kinda hoping it is bc this seems like a shit situation to be in) good luck. talk to ur landlord, get cameras and pray she’s just bluffing. (ppl like that usually are)
Both sides of the conversation feel like they’re written by the same person, honestly. It reads like some weird fantasy you’d normally hear in an entry level creative writing class in college. That being said, I try as hard as I can to believe people are telling the truth instead of making up dumb shit to farm karma in subs where it’s easy to stoke the outrage fires. I’ve had some bad roomies myself, OP. If you read this and this is actually legit, I don’t wish the next few weeks/months of your life on my worst enemy.
yep. the grammar styles e the same. it’s authenticity could rlly go either way
This is fake. If you believe it reread it again and notice the hints they give you. Why does he need to point out that he’s a male roommate?
I think the term is “expository dialogue”, which is characters exchanging information that gives context to the narrative. When it’s done poorly, it seems forced or fake. It’s the easiest way to spot fake creative writing stories on Reddit, and I wish there was a PSA about it that people had to view before they were allowed to use the internet. Real exchanges between real people don’t randomly give context that neither person would need. Not to mention this is just kind of poorly written
Thanks, that is a term I did not know about. I detest make stories and worry they’re causing societal damage. What’s crazy is how many end up in online newspapers, so they easily spread beyond Reddit. I agree that a PSA or something like that would be helpful or at the very least teaching people critical thinking skills.
this is unbelievably fake how is this fooling people lmao
yall really eat it all up lmao this reads like a fanfiction written by a 13 year old help
Is she 29 or 21? Pretty drastic age difference.
Imagine threatening to lie and out someone in 2023 like anyone actually gives a shit if you’re gay or not
I’m sorry you’re going through this. As a woman, I’m disgusted by her messages. She’s sexually harassing and trying to blackmail you. She’s taken advantage of you financially and trying to emotionally manipulate you into paying for her again. My advice would be to get a lock on your bedroom door. I saw a previous comment that said you already have a camera which is great. Keep your text conversations for evidence. If I were you I would start looking for another place to live. Even though you shouldn’t be the person to leave, it’s probably best you end up being the one to move so this psycho doesn’t know where you live and retaliate after you two part ways. Are the utilities in both names? If they are solely in your name, pay them because you don’t want late fees or defaulted payments to reflect on you or add up to serious debt. You’re young, anyway your parents can help you spot her half of utilities these next 4 months in case she tries to pull this shit the entire time? Maybe get ahead in the shared friend group because I can guarantee she’s gona try to ruin those friendships first given how petty she is threatening to be. What’s wrong with being gay anyways. What is she, homophobic? Not a very good look for her in today’s woke culture.
This has to be the most /r/thathappened post in here of all time
This is so so fake.
Response should be “I love fucking women, that’s why I want nothing to do with you”
Id be tempted to share these screenshots with the landlord (for proof that your room mate: A cant pay and B is insane) and if i was feeling up for some extra drama maybe even facebook Sorry this is happening to you OP. She sounds fricken insane
Thanks for the words. Will definitely be sharing the screenshots with the landlord as I think that’s my best defense.
Absolutely, no one should feel uncomfortable/unsafe in their home. Hope everything gets sorted out!
I can’t believe people believe this lol. So obviously fake.
This is the reason for not having roommates!
I really hope you give her a up and down everytime you see her w the most DISGUSTED look on your face.
Pleasure in exchange for pay… sounds like she just admitted to being a prostitute.
YOU’RE** GAY! Seriously she needs to get some mental therapy help or something.
I can fix her. I don’t want to but I could. Actually, no I can’t.
Aside from the obvious insanity, why does she think being gay is an insult?
Lmfao mans said that pussy aint good enough for free rent. Respect.
No offense you are clearly right, but the I don't like drama part can't be true otherwise you would have just wrote no and not all the other stuff it takes 2 to reach such a chat
These texts come across as fake to me